When Codependency Becomes an Addiction

Counselor Carl (serenityonlinet...) takes you inside the belief system of codependents to show you how a dysfunctional and flawed approach to getting needs met in relationships can become an addiction. See how the belief system of codependent addicts causes them to avoid relationships with healthy persons and, instead, compels them to get involved with emotionally unavailable individuals, which dooms their relationships to failure. Counselor Carl's straight-forward teaching style makes complex concepts easy to understand. Counselor Carl is a licensed, professional counselor with 19 years of clinical experience both online and face-to-face.

[@naeemanaeem2577]

Dear Counselor Carl, I am a women rights activist and a trainer in theater of the oppressed from Pakistan currently residing in New York. I use acting and applied theatrical techniques to heal people. I am intrigued by your extraordinary and highly informative video on codependency. Thank you so very much! One of the best videos ever.. Sir, I am trying to reach out to you to have a discussion. Also, checked your website. I understand that you aren’t taking clients currently but I would like to request you to please have a chat with me. This could help many people. Shall be highly grateful.

[@SwitchUpBroadcast]

Thank you for these. 32yo male here, finally putting the peices together

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

SwitchUpBroadcast. You're welcome!

[@Jls728]

My God it’s like you have seen the inside of my soul. The part about avoiding “healthy” people and being afraid of being found out as worthless is me to a T. Grew up in a verbally abusive household with an alcoholic drug addicted step father. Always called fat, lazy, dummy, etc. I have always felt not good enough and stuck to the outcast type people who didn’t make me feel judged. Thanks for the insight doc. But man, does it hurt to think about all this stuff...

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best!

[@Sereneis]

You are spot on. I attended CODA online for a couple of years but could never obtain any help. The religious bend turned me off. You just changed my life for good. Thank you for your effort!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@oldben76]

Thank you for the content, helpful, calming and didn't go over my head. I've used my codependent tendencies to excuse my poor relationship choices and blame the other person so I could martyr myself. Rationalized codependency until it was a good thing in my mind, recently aware of just how much damage that has caused to myself and those around me. I have to work on boundaries every day, and forgiveness (looks in mirror).

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Benjamin. Best wishes on your journey to healing and growth!

[@benharrison8604]

Wow! This is the best video on codependency I have ever watched!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Ben, I'm glad you found my video helpful. best wishes!

[@sheilawang7563]

Thank you so much counselor, Carl. this video to me is the best for explaining what codependency addiction is. I am a co-dependent addiction sufferer. I have been feeling just what you described in this video all my life since I was felling in love the first time. I always consciously choose someone who in my mind is not good enough for me so I can be upper hand. Of course, I didn't know what was really going on subconsciously is the codependency at work. Only after three failed marriages and many years of therapy made I understand my problems which were the products of an aloof father and highly critical mother. Your program is so validating. Thank you.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Sheila. I too contributed to three failed marriages before going to Al-Anon and Coda where I learned self-care. This motivated me to go back to school and get a Masters in Counseling. Finally, I got it right with my fourth wife. We now have 22 years together. What a difference it makes to be a reasonably healthy person in partnership with a healthy partner co-creating a healthy marriage! I wish you the best!

[@DM-mi2lt]

@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you so much for sharing! This gives me hope that I will be able to recover and live a better life.

[@lilyhu1963]

This is the most accurate description of codependency, thank you for this video

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! Best wishes!

[@winstonhall557]

Councillor Carl, you’re one of the best at delivering these digestible pieces of information, thanks.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Winston! I wish you the best!

[@Ipdex]

Thankyou sir. This is by far the best explanation of what I am as a person. I'm a 64yr old Brit with failed relationship after failed relationship all through my life. I've felt like ending it sometimes, it's like I just don't understand people other than those who I can fix, sadly, often with people who are unfixable and they just treat me like crap which of course I keep coming back for. It's a miserable, wretched existence. Tks for the video :-)

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best in your recovery. In case you haven't see my other videos about codependency, here is the link to my Codependency Playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PL_wjG-62KkutLvCRd4QMZI7J2o9YcbHyf

[@brownshuga71]

Thank you so much! You really explained this very clearly and it helps me a great deal.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you for your kind words!

[@y3kadm80]

A bit late to comment, but these are gems. Being an adult child of a narcissist, I binge watch vids on NPD and related stuffs. I found a lot of insightful content on NPD in YT. While searching for co-dependency, I stumbled upon your video, watched a couple of them and they are The Best, thanks for your effort and all the best!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, and you're welcome!

[@ginageorgiou3793]

Explained so well! It’s just the recovery that’s a job and a half. Thank you for bringing understanding 👏🏽

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Gina! Best wishes, one day at a time.

[@bloxyanimates3680]

Thank you for explaining co-dependency so clearly, appreciate!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome! Best wishes!

[@marketa7752]

wow... you've just explained all my relationships in just 10 minutes and what is more, in a way that I can understand

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Insight is the first step. The next step is practice.

[@theultimatechannel7948]

what a lovely way of describing this with codependency. I've watched most of these videos and have found them so easy to understand. Thank you : )

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're very welcome!

[@darinsmith2458]

I would add that a codependent is addicted to excitement.. In the Laundry List it was addicted to fear but they changed so that people could relate..

[@dreamiedips8624]

Excellent video. Thanks Counselor Carl. 💙💫✨

[@drrupakapil]

One of the best explanations. Please talk about recovery from codependency

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Drrupa, here is the link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5zUd55ubsenm8U. Best wishes!

[@jmh8510]

These are wonderful!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you!

[@gracesanity6314]

Wow. No book is needed just this video. Best version explanned l,v ever heard

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you, Grace! I'm pleased you found my video helpful. Best wishes!

[@juliavanrun-kilic1744]

That says it all!! So right!! It has taken me years to figure this out!! Had I come across your videos earlier, would have been helpful! Thank you so much!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi Julia, You're welcome! Best wishes!

[@harley7912]

You have just helped me so much

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

I'm glad you found this video helpful. Best wishes!

[@caroltousignant1542]

good! good! good! message thank you!

[@elliesmellscall911]

Really helpful video, keep em coming. How do you deal with the underlying shame? Is that a video that is on it's way? or have I missed that? :D

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

+Ellie Davies Hi, Ellie. Here is a link to my website that lists all of my videos by category. Look under the category of Inner Child Work for some videos of how to deal with shame. serenityonlinetherapy.com/videos.htm

[@elliesmellscall911]

Hi, Thanks for getting back to me so much. I will check out what you suggest. Keep up the good work.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

+Ellie Davies Thank you!

[@pyrosaat1566]

Counselor Carl, you are great!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Thank you! Best wishes!

[@Investinyourself360]

I'm realizing that my degree of codependency fluctuates. I feel like I have no control and/or consciousness of it in real time. I get very angry and at times I snap on people, even strangers. I hope that I can be a normal person.

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Micah. Now that you are developing awareness about your coda patterns of behavior, you can begin learning how to interact with others in a more healthy way. Then with practice and awareness, you can begin becoming the person you want to be. Best wishes on your journey!

[@lachele7099]

Thank you so much! clear as water!

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@markedwards1900]

Great video

[@markedwards1900]

Thanks carl

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

You're welcome!

[@aiyanafloreterna]

Counselor carl: what about staying in a relationship?

[@jencgold]

Holy moly.

[@aiyanafloreterna]

What about if we both seem like codependants?

[@Serenityonlinetherapy]

Hi, Aiyana. Two recovering codependents can create a great relationship. Two active codependents can really struggle to communicate.