I started to listen to my body, especially when I am being rejected, when I feel lonely, or my fear of being imperfect ( especially with my body). I take deep breath and calm my body and say to myself " it is okay, I am safe, I love myself and I am enough." It is truly helping me so far. Before, when I got these crisis, I would call my ex or a friend to avoid my feelings, particularly the feeling of emptiness. I am trying to be aware of what is going on, and take a moment to process what ever my feelings are. I have more work to do about pleasing people especially men, I don't give all my things to friends and family so that they can love me or say hoo look how nice she is. I am more peaceful now, also I started to notice that I am not attracted to the same men.
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Keira, thank you for sharing. Best wishes on your journey to healing and True Self!
@jennypitts84652 жыл бұрын
Love this 🤍 Thank you for sharing and for the tremendous hope here 🙏🏼💫
@thankfulone25742 жыл бұрын
@keira thanks for sharing. I am a codependent and trying to overcome it. How is your progress? Did you take therapy also or could overcome it with only self help. Please help me as to what might work as I am so clueless as to where to start. I keep listening to videos and get over whelmed when it comes to actually making a routine to sort the codependency issue. I have started waking up early and following a healthy morning routine including medidation. I have also been observing my thoughts lately.
@shennaki85172 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your tips and story . I will try that
@mimiboucher57012 жыл бұрын
@@thankfulone2574 hi friend,!! Just saw this video..comment...um...yeah I don't know if you can see this but wow Lisa Romero on ten tips to overcome codependency changed my life yesterday. I was about to be friends with my ex abuser. Then I remembered he was never my good friend and what's more..I feel fear 😨 when I think I see hear or smell him soooooo listen to our bodies! But noooo! It goes against being the ppl pleaser. Dig deeper. Why do you please? It's like if I do this for you..which I loathe..at least you will take care of me. My needs..seems reasonable but #1 ppl can't read your mind/ your needs#2 now you resent them if they don't take care of your needs and #3 JUST ask for your needs!! If no can do..walk away..no shame no guilt! I'm 56 just did three abusive relationships and I'm healing. Don't give up!!!
@mm6695 жыл бұрын
I stood up to my three adult siblings for the first time this year after six years of taking care of our Alzheimer mother by myself. Mom is now in an institution. The minute Mom was checked in, the three of them began the asset grab of trying to secure her home located in a desirable location for their kids. None of which ever visited mom the whole time I cared for her. Anyway, long story short, I was ganged up on and told that I was not helping the family. After six years of free Alzheimer care for our mom, I am not helping the family!!! Wow! These people are a bottomless pit of take. Even though I am sad and lonely and feel like I no longer have my family of origin, I feel I am taking care of myself finally by getting away from my three sisters.
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
Sadly, recovery from codependency often means sorting out one's unhealthy relationships from the healthy ones, but it is necessary for creating a healthy environment and support system for yourself. Best wishes!
@BethyKable4 жыл бұрын
M M All you lost are a nest of vipers who don’t care about your needs.....your better off without them. Stay focused on yourself and getting healed....awareness is the first step toward recovery. Get into counseling....you deserve to be loved and respected. Good luck
@carrielang24724 жыл бұрын
Keep working your recovery. Good job .
@robinrubendunst8693 жыл бұрын
I hope you lawyered up. This makes me angry.
@mm6693 жыл бұрын
@@robinrubendunst869 Sadly, all getting the lawyer did was cost me money (and more mental anguish) that I could not truly afford to spend trying to protect my mom's assets for my mom's care. It was just a new way of getting sucked into the toxic situation and codependency. My sisters are making a great show of "cleaning out the house and getting it ready to rent". So, if this is just one knick knack at a time, then so be it. In the meantime, their kids live there, ( or in the sister's version "stay there, house sit, work there helping to clean it"). The sisters are suppose to go through my lawyer to make sure they are renting it out a fair market value but there is no enforcement on a time limit for when that will be. It's going on two years now. I have to make peace with it because it already cost me thousands of dollars to get nothing. They spend my mom's money answering my lawyer so it's lose-lose for me and my mom. I read a book called, Mobbed! What to Do When They Really Are Out to Get you, by Janice Harper, Ph.D. The book covers group dynamics for scapegoating individuals which is essentially what happened to me in the family. Silver lining is I learned so much about codependency, toxic narcissistic families, but mostly, how to begin truly caring for myself probably for the first time in my adult life. Thank you, though, Robin, for your concern and understanding. I feel better about the world knowing you care.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Codependents do often train people to think they have no needs. So, when they begin to make healthy changes in recovery, they are changing the rules of the "family system." It is important that you let others who you can about know that you will be making changes, such as speaking up for yourself more about what you want and don't want so they don't misinterpret what you are doing ("you don't love me any more"). Now, healthy people will respect your new assertiveness, but unhealthy people who have been using or abusing you might not. It takes two people to make a healthy relationship. If you are trying to be healthy and build a healthy relationship and your partner does not want you to be healthy (so they can use or abuse you), then you will have consider other options, such as ending the relationship or insisting the other person join you in learning how to be healthy in a relationship.
@MostlyCloudy6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much.
@elisadaluz6 жыл бұрын
Counselor Carl. How can people believe they aren't intitled to have needs?! And still be determined to guess and meet other's needs?
@elisadaluz6 жыл бұрын
Counselor Carl , Your words touch me deeply. I just tried to set a boundary with a friend. 'please don't make jokes with those subjects, I am sensitive about them', and my friend was offended because it was 'just a joke' and 'how could I didn't find it funny'? So, my attempt to set an assertive boundary had a bad reaction. I only regret that I didn't start setting boundaries with him from the begining. I would have really know him earlier. Living, educating myself and growing- those growing but essential pains. Thanks again! God bless you
@Spiritual366 жыл бұрын
So grateful for the advice. I know now why some family members are reacting so badly to me speaking up for myself. I had not informed them I am making changes but for some family members I feel it would not have made a difference. I know I have options with these relationship but I find it hard to let them go because of guilt. I know I have to as I am recovering from a serious illness and need to edit stressful and demanding people out of my life.
@k.ambriz97896 жыл бұрын
Spiritual36 those people may be best in small doses. I do that with my negative, rude relatives.
@martinasimanjuntak61364 жыл бұрын
"The shame of codependent tells them they are unloveable, but once codependents in a recovery they discover that they are worthy of being loved" very powerful. Thanks, Carl!
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Yes, it is. The most important relationship you will change in recovery is your relationship with yourself.
@l.krueger91722 жыл бұрын
This resonated so strongly with me. I am in tears. I hope to find this love!
@saddestcypress11 ай бұрын
that bit made me cry
@browndiamond4573 жыл бұрын
For those who don't know what he means when he says lower brain he's referring to your subconscious mind. When he says lower in general it's because it's below your conscious awareness. You can access it through consistent curiosity and questioning what makes you do certain things and why? Why you attract certain types of relationships or friendships. Journaling your answers(epiphanies) will help you to track progress/growth in mindset shift and emotional healing.
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing, Diamond!
@MaireTreasa6 жыл бұрын
Step #4: "I must feel the fear and shame and do it anyway. " You're right, this is by far the most difficult thing for me to do. I'm in a 15-year long relationship where I have almost never made my own needs a priority out of fear that he will leave me. I recently made a need of mine known to him and even though it was disregarded, I did feel a small seed of growth planted in myself. I faced the fear and will do my utmost to continue doing so to the best of my ability. I don't know where my relationship will end up as I grow but I think that for the first time in my life, I will put the relationship with myself before my relationships with others. A relationship that can only thrive while I live in fear is most likely not a relationship I need to be in.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Congrats on your progress! I wish you the best on your journey.
@christineferguson8455 жыл бұрын
Theresa Robinson. I am so proud of you...I am in the same place and I know how difficult the decision can be, to be true to ourselves. Thank you for sharing your strength to srep into your new and healthy relationship with yourself...you are such an encouragement to me. Bless you dear lady...I hope all is well for you.🤗🤗🤗
@MrsJudyR3 жыл бұрын
Yes, do put yourself first. My husband always hung over my head that if I didn’t like the way things were I could leave and he would easily replace me. Then 34 years into our marrige, in our mid-fifties, building our dream home where we would soon retire, and as I finally thought we were ‘over the hump’ and I could relax… he left me for his young secretary. Yes, please make yourself secure - mentally, physically and financially.
@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid44883 жыл бұрын
@@MrsJudyR did you become obese? Or was your marriage sexless?
@cathynunaley74768 ай бұрын
I learned more in this short video of yours then i have learned in my 2 years of over coming co-dependency. Short, simple, and TO THE POINT. Bless you and THANK YOU
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 ай бұрын
You're welcome, Cathy. Best wishes!
@sevenswrld63683 жыл бұрын
This really helped me because I’ve noticed every time I try to do better and take care of myself I get shamed for it by my parents and I’m so called being selfish and they try to make me feel like I need them instead of trying to make me grow to be independent on my own
@Broxigar07 Жыл бұрын
Video might be 8 years old, but my realization today, through therapy, that I am codependent is an eye opener for a lot of my self esteem issues. This video definitely explained and helped me conceptualize how I can begin working on myself and on my codependency.
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best in your recovery!
@PaleCanid6 жыл бұрын
I actually started crying when you said the word "selfish." Omg
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Ms. B. Yes that is the unfounded fear of many codependents on early recovery.
@1111tiffo4 жыл бұрын
yep, my hugest fear.
@Katiegirlluv2 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityonlinetherapy my narcissistic mother told me I was selfish from a young age so I would become co dependent.
@victoriar21733 жыл бұрын
I’m growing away from the mindset I had when my father left me and I felt like I wasn’t enough. Things are shining in a new light lately.
@justhangingoutfornow2 жыл бұрын
Progress Not Perfection. My favorite AL Anon slogan as well! ❤
@Kate-hw3lq8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. I married my ' narcissistic mother' and have very recently separated after 33 years of telling myself it was my job to make everybody happy and if I tried harder and was a better person everything would be alright. She controlled by temper tantrums and so did he. Your advice is practical and gives me steps to help myself. This video is so helpful.
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 жыл бұрын
+Kate moore Thank you for your kind words. Best wishes on the road to your recovery!
@BethyKable4 жыл бұрын
Struggled with this my whole adult life and have a long string of bad relationships to show for it. When will I learn? I can see now why pathologically selfish narcissists attach to co-dependents.....it’s the perfect dysfunctional fit. I have a long road of healing ahead of me. Thank you for your insights.
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes on your road to recovery.
@theresemeggitt84557 жыл бұрын
That's why I watched that movie so much! Groundhog Day love it! Recovering from Narc abuse.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Yes, it is a great movie that many of us can relate to even if we don't realize why!
@brightpage102011 ай бұрын
“I will be a people respecter, including myself, my own needs and feelings.” Whaaaaahoow! Yes, please!
@colliswilliams89925 жыл бұрын
I'm quitting this video after step 1 to go watch groundhog day.
@JF-xj1hz6 жыл бұрын
This is GOOD! What you say is GOOD! I've just found you. I am a CD. Resently came to that conclusion. Ended a marriage to a narcissist as i found i had no voice, my thoughts and feelings never valued. listening your videos is giving me clarity. And some idea of how to put things right in my life.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Best wishes!
@Twotummytickles5 жыл бұрын
J F You just described my 38 year long marriage. It didn’t start out that way but for the last 25 years, I have progressively NO VOICE, and my THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS are not valued. It makes me sick in the stomach to type this. I am sad. I realize I may have to leave to stay well or even get well. It will cost me the only thing that is important to me: my church and service. My family is not close.
@natashahughes20008 жыл бұрын
I need to learn so much about this
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 жыл бұрын
+Natasha Hughes Best wishes on your road to recovery!
@beatemback55986 жыл бұрын
Natasha Hughes me too actually
@Kyrieava9 жыл бұрын
Very very helpful and insightful. I just discovered my struggle with codependency and having gone through recovery for some bad situations in my past, my soul is now ready to explore this and heal from it. Thank you for this-- seeing how it will all likely play out puts my mind at rest.
@kalindisharma16322 жыл бұрын
How are you now?
@taylorbee40103 жыл бұрын
Like how you're not blaming anybody this is calming me down a lot.
@geraldinecrowley91726 жыл бұрын
Just found your channel. So glad I did. I am co dependent for as long as I can remember. I am a carer for my husband and have been through cancer 2 yrs. Yet I put my husband & everyone else ahead of me. I am finding it very difficult to change. I have lost myself. I am like an attachment to him and others. Thank you for your great channel
@salvomig23682 жыл бұрын
Great content and material Counselor Carl. I would like to add that in the end, Bill Murray's character eventually lets go of the attachment of all the things he is doing to get to Rita. Initially, he is forcing things and keeps failing as Rita senses it is artificial. Women are very keen on that. Fast forward towards the end of the movie and he has taken the time to make himself a better person not to get Rita but for himself. He has detached the idea he is doing these things to get her. He is no longer trying to force the relationship but accepts his new life and whatever happens. She falls for him now as he is genuine. He appears relaxed and at ease with himself. He doesn't care about the outcome, for he is living the present moment. And that is the challenge and fear many people have, to let go of this attachment and just let things happen naturally and not force them.
@Serenityonlinetherapy2 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Salvo, for your excellent explanation of the evolution, healing, and growth of Bill Murray's character as he finds his True Self, which allows him to truly love himself and others.
@avanellehansen4525 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this. I will watch the movie.
@Summer-tk8yk Жыл бұрын
I’m recovering. Now it’s the moment I’m dealing with my fears from asking what I need in a relationship. Thank you. 🙏
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
@pinam22994 жыл бұрын
This is a a wow! I’m 56 years old and beginning to understand myself. It has been emotionally exhausting but I am willing to put in the work and recover once and go all
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Pina. I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes on your journey to healing and recovery.
@dreamiedips86242 жыл бұрын
You are an excellent therapist! I'm so blessed that I came across your KZbin channel. Thanks Counselor Carl. 💙💫✨
@Th3Tripl3Godd3ss4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your video, for some reason it popped on my suggested videos. You came like fresh water. Codependent and empath coming from alcoholic, drug abuse and narcissistic family where emotional abuse was a daily meal. Married a narcissist. Divorced after 18 years when I “discovered” the toxic relationship. It is sad, shameful, and all sorts of confusing and scary things to face. I did a whole two years of self recovery and I was doing so well, or I thought I was, and now I am here, back again, realizing I still have more inner reinforcement to do. The hardest part is to keep nurturing myself and validating my own needs, because I am aware of what I am doing, but sometimes the patterns are so strong and it makes me sad and frustrated to be able to see it but not able to break it once for all.
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Myriam. It is progress not perfection in recovery. Healing and "reprogramming the brain" take time. It helps to attend Codependents Anonymous and/or Al-Anon, where you can learn self-care and self-compassion in an environment that is highly supportiveof your healing and recovery. Best wishes!
@pumpkinandpie7764 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for taking the time to make this helpful video to help us on our road to recovery
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes.
@beckyparry59877 жыл бұрын
this gave me so much hope. thank you. I feel safer when you talk. I listened and this made sense ☺
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Becky Parry. You're very welcome! I'm glad you found this video helpful.
@feruzakushimova87123 жыл бұрын
I am so greatful for this video😇 Tons of thanks to you Carl for these amazing ,powerful words.You came to my life like a positive vibe.I 've found this video just recently as I made up my mind to start healing recovery.Being codependent is so burden ,I remember the time when I moved out from my family home to study in a different city and I had to live in other people's house with whom I had never felt comfort ,felt like walking around eggshells around them ,couldn't voice out my feelings .But from now on You're with me,God with me and my determination to change with me ,I believe I can change
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
Hi, Feruza. Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best in your recovery
@krisscanlon40516 жыл бұрын
thank you so much. 5 years of successful recovery for drinking and now due to life matters now finally able to see my destructive ways as mentioned here. it hurts but i said id go to any length to get better in 2012 so i seek help. my sponsor and my WE are there and my own God. there is good from all this not bad. it was long overdue so the chem dpndcy stops and the people one remains UNLESS i change today. THIS IS ALL SO GOOD AND FEEL SCARED YET EXCITED. thanks CC.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Kris Scanlon Very often recovering addicts/alcoholics can benefit from getting help for relationship issues, including codependency. Best wishes!
@chosennotforsaken2 жыл бұрын
Wow 🙏🙏🙏 Thank You for this. I have not seen my family in 4 years. Guilt takes over. But I sit through it because I choose "Peace"
@kayligo2 жыл бұрын
I’m in the same boat. Not talking to my dad because of some toxic things he said. I worry about him but I have to worry about myself first.
@MsMay19599 жыл бұрын
Hmmm yes nice thought. I'm thinking the 'progress' road may be a long one...better late than never. I'm so glad to have found your videos. I'll stay tuned. Thank you again.
@jarijansma22072 жыл бұрын
This is GOLD. Clear and pure message. I know what I have to do now. Thank you
@Serenityonlinetherapy2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Jari! Best wishes!
@aenigmatica87 жыл бұрын
What a great video! Thank you!
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Victoria Long You're welcome!
@BriannaTerese2 жыл бұрын
This was very helpful. I’ve seen countless videos and articles about what codependency actually is, which were great for backing my belief that this is something I struggle with, but none of them said what the steps are to work on it.
@Serenityonlinetherapy2 жыл бұрын
Hi, Brianna. I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best in your recovery!
@TheCgul087 жыл бұрын
Just found your channel and am really glad. You have helped me understand codependency more than I have before. It has always seemed confusing to me. After watching a few of your videos, I feel hope.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Carl Gulbransen. I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
@shannondarby24743 жыл бұрын
I'm trying to recover from narcissistic abuse. The two seem to go hand in hand. This is really helpful for codependency. Thank you!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Shannon! I wish you the best in your recovery!
@Thomasfrohwitter Жыл бұрын
Hi Shannon, how’s your day going with you?
@totons90363 жыл бұрын
Thank you Carl for your guidance! Just started my journey to recover from codependency! I have had a relationship and now I know why I lost it because today I found out about codependency and I do think I have this issue. I'm trying to work on myself, hoping someday I will recover. And also thank you for the movie suggestion, I did enjoy it very much!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! I wish you the best in your recovery!
@glenimoore12322 жыл бұрын
Just listened to five steps to recovery and I think I am codependent. Wow. It’s a big thing to admit to. My denial has been very strong. And I’ve been the one to leave in relationships sometimes has looked, even to me, like I’ve been the strong one. But I’ve been “lucky” enough to fall in love with someone on line and I’ve seen many of my dysfunctional patterns playing out with him. Even though we’ve never met and don’t intend to. I’ve started to look into my needs, feelings and thought patterns. It’s very painful but well worth it. Growing. Becoming more of,oneself is so worth it. Thanks for these five steps. I’m on the journey!
@Serenityonlinetherapy2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Gleni! I wish you the best in your recovery!
@cynthiacardenas17516 жыл бұрын
Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart and soul.. I’ve recently discovered I have these patterns in me and it is now one of my biggest missions to steer towards the path of myself, my own love and my own needs.. Thank you Namaste
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Cynthia Cardenas. You're very welcome. Best wishes!
@Craftalpgist287 жыл бұрын
it is the confirmation for me that I am in progress of recovering from codependency, thank you for making it so clear and eye opening, I will watch the movie as I am in a similar relationship, it really takes time to heal, for a long time I am work in progress. Thanks again for all these useful information that you share.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Thyme Green. You're very welcome. Best wishes on your journey to healing and growth.
@chocolatcats7 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your simplified ways of expressing the issues!...I now understand... and PS. You're Welcome Carl.
@oscarwilliamson12643 жыл бұрын
Keri caye,you are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌹
@anysiakelly33913 жыл бұрын
Yes this was good starting a path of healing my codependency and it honestly feel amazing so excited to what’s to come thank you and thank you Jesus Amen 🙏
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Anysia! I wish you the best in your recovery!
@duanelarosa11 ай бұрын
Tried to watch other videos but yours spoke my language😊😊. Thank you. I was healing from an issue. I didn't know what it was called but knew/know what I feel/know😊😊 thx again, Duane.
@Serenityonlinetherapy11 ай бұрын
You're welcome, Duane!
@marythistlethwaite1052 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. Your steps helped me understand how all the information I receive in CoDA meeting comes together to make recovery possible. Thank you for your gentleness in the delivery.
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Mary! I wish you the best.
@kutto50177 жыл бұрын
Thankyou Carl for taking the time to prepare and share this video - I am about to start CoDA and have a lot of apprehension about it. Thankyou for your offering.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Simon You're very welcome. I wish you the best!
@pragatithapa57504 жыл бұрын
I am really glad to see this. I finally understand what exactly I was in these days. I was unaware about codependency. . now, i can step forward to live a life out of this with the steps u mentioned, thank you in advance...
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hi, Pragati, you're very welcome! I wish you the best in your recovery.
@sacmakiz8 жыл бұрын
Great video sir, I had to watch 3 times to digest it good enough ❤❤❤
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@farahhussain98947 жыл бұрын
rlde 😵🤕
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@maryannkearns5457 жыл бұрын
I need to listen, Carefully!
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Maryann Kearns. Best wishes!
@oscarwilliamson12643 жыл бұрын
Maryann Kearns, you look stunning 🌹🌷🌷
@kanamexzeroxyuuki3 жыл бұрын
This was so enlightening. I'm just beginning to scratch the surface and it is scary. But I feel hopeful and am ready to do the work!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
Hi, Princess VaVa. I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best in your recovery and good health!
@CherisseThibaut6 жыл бұрын
The Groundhogs day comparison is just brilliant!! Thank you
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@CherisseThibaut6 жыл бұрын
Love for you to checkout my channel and tell me your thoughts. But no pressure:)
@marketa77525 жыл бұрын
This was very helpful. I value that it's very practical and I feel encouraged rather than more ashamed for having to deal with this. Thank you.
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome. Best wishes on your journey to healing and growth.
@marketa77525 жыл бұрын
Counselor Carl looking forward :)
@dizzitoast5 жыл бұрын
Don the deepest part of my soul I thank you for this video. It really was an eye opener. Thank you for you kindness and knowledge. Thank you for helping me be honest with myself and go giving me some hope and direction. I give you my greatest gratitude...
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
You're very welcome! I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
@BiOlFe73 Жыл бұрын
Thank you, you speak clear and calm. Very soothing.
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Bitia!
@ashleyching78942 жыл бұрын
I don’t please people. I respect people, including myself.
@amrice623 жыл бұрын
Hi! I’m sitting in my car and watching after standing up for myself and leaving the area to get healthy air. I am happy I found your video. I am in good progress and your video affirmed that to me. Not to beat myself up for perceived weakness but to be mindful. I’m relieved I am where I am. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. PS I love that movie but didn’t “get it” until very recently watching. It was all about bill Murray Not the repetition of the day itself which I always thought it was. It is so clear now to me and I totally get it! It’s a mile marker I will remind myself of. Didn’t get it to got it. I’m on the right road!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
Hi, Ann Marie. I am so glad you're on the road to recovery and that my video was a small piece of the puzzle in your journey to allow your True Self to emerge. I wish you the best!
@oscarwilliamson12643 жыл бұрын
ann marie rice, you got a smile 😊 that can make the news
@CholoRafael11 күн бұрын
Thanks Carl, #4 is especially powerful.
@Serenityonlinetherapy11 күн бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes.
@jilltanner38819 жыл бұрын
Counselor Carl, Thank you for this wonderful lesson and for your other videos as well as your terrific website, your wisdom, and your thoughtful teachings. I have followed you for years and these videos are a marvelous, fantastic addition to your work. Thank you so much, Counselor Carl.
@Serenityonlinetherapy9 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Jill!
@johndangerbenedictarnold7862 Жыл бұрын
Ground hog day is my favorite movie. He lived that day like 12,000+ times.
@atpoe22732 жыл бұрын
Thank you after 11 years of marriage and going through an unwanted divorce this helps a lot
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes!
@claudiasbarra1882 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Carl. I am so happy that I have found your channel. Very very helpfull.Greatings from Italy. Be blessed ♥
@Serenityonlinetherapy Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Claudia, and you're welcome!
@claudiasbarra1882 Жыл бұрын
@@Serenityonlinetherapy ♥
@Levandetag Жыл бұрын
So Clear messages Thank you! Sometimes people, cant understand what it is. Not many explain it so well. ... also, still many/some women, are entrained to hold themselves back, to give others all space, from little girltimes, to become, just to become, this codependent female, also boys/men, who never has any own needs or other lifegiving aspirings, than the culture one is born into, or live in, are allowing. Schools which pluck out all of our "different feathers", to make us, as streamlined today, as possible to fit into the societies needs only, and we all can take a ponder on that, sometimes in our lives. To forgive and understand more on our own origins, and our parents. What they had to give up, all the stressors they have had, and why, to be able to live at all. Thats the sad part, the happy is, when one starts to see ones own parents patterns, in life, and come to terms with our own unknowingly, transmitted into, and out of us. Acceptance & Foregiveness is Key, especially in Self, and towards others. Happy to see a softer one speak about this, thanks again
@oriolysmedia3 жыл бұрын
I needed this for so long but never took action to do some research and Im so happy I found your channel, from the inside of my heart thanks so much Carl!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome, Oriolys!
@lovelyA9333 жыл бұрын
This video is absolutely brilliant! The best video on self help I've ever seen on youtube. I recently discovered the concept of inner child and it lead me to codependency. This video guides and tells you exactly what to do to recover, amazing!!! Thank you so much for the wonderful videos!!!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! And thank you for your kind words. I wish you the best in your recovery.
@eluparadiis4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, this video is really showing me a way how possibly get out of codependency! For years I have lived in a magical thinking that only if I can get enlightened (meaning=solve all my problems with spirituality) then I'll feel happy in a relationship. I am still struggling with the fact that when I am triggered in a relationship - then how to proceed? Should I express to my partner what feelings got triggered(fear of abandonment for example)? My trap is that I imagine I can solve this fear alone inside of me. I go off, I mediate and find my peace again. Or should I practice taking my focus off from my partner and have it all the time on me. So I know every moment my needs and act and react to my own needs....instead of my partners actions? I hope you get the idea. Thank you again! You're videos are so clear and really helpful!
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hello. If you have a reasonably healthy partner who you trust, I think it is healthy and healing to let him see into your internal world. You can tell him what your triggers are and that you are aware of them and learning how to manage them. You can let him know when his actions/words trigger you and suggest ways he can communicate with you that are less triggering. You can own your wounds rather than blame him or others. You can let him know the best ways he can support you in your healing journey. However, if you have an unhealthy partner or even a toxic partner (as codependents often do), you will probably have to look elsewhere for support. Best wishes on your journey to recovery!
@yeeunkim88033 жыл бұрын
Literally, every single sentence sounds like a quote !
@marrriiee2 жыл бұрын
thank you very much for this video. i am currently going through it and everything you said resonated
@philipmulvihill14552 жыл бұрын
Carl that is TREMENDOUS!!! Wonderful BLESS YOU!!! 👍🙆
@Monicaxoxo5 жыл бұрын
Good video. I can see i always wanted a relationship with my dad growing up and he was physically always there but maybe never actually gave it to me? Now I’m looking for the validation continuously in my relationships. Good to be aware of and will watch more videos. I’ve been becoming aware, i do tend to “relapse” so to speak and have to keep on trying. I’m lucky the people around me are supportive and also brutally honest, my changes and commitment will bring clarity and not need. Respect and space.
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
Hi, Monica. Best wishes on your journey to healing and recovery.
@neptronix4 жыл бұрын
That's exactly what my insane father did to me and my sister. We both look for external validation constantly. We both settle for less, give too much, and don't take care of ourselves while in relationships. We also can't handle disapproval. I am just realizing this myself in my own life. I wish you the best in sorting out things so that you can have healthy relationships with men in the future.
@iw93386 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for all your helpful videos. Great job helping others to heal.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Thank you! And you're welcome!
@rebeccarich71124 жыл бұрын
I am really loving your videos, thank you. Your kindness and compassion really shine through.
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Rebecca! I'm glad you find my videos helpful. Best wishes!
@Thomasfrohwitter Жыл бұрын
Hi Rebecca, how’s your day going with you?
@shywolf3212 жыл бұрын
I love this man right now
@tricorntom22547 жыл бұрын
LIKE ALL YOUR VIDEOS: GREAT ADVICE, DIRECT AND TO THE POINT. FIRST I TOOK NOTES ON THEM, NOW I LISTEN TO THEM OVER AND OVER IN THE BACKGROUND. WHILE MULTITASKING, DOING OTHER THINGS, AND ARE BECOMING SECOND-NATURE. THANK YOU.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Tricorn Tom You're very welcome! Best wishes!
@Serenityonlinetherapy9 жыл бұрын
Nazzy, thank you for your kind words.
@ginageorgiou37935 жыл бұрын
So helpful and easy to understand. So much appreciated! Thank you very much
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
@chuco123416 жыл бұрын
Excellent counseling.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Steve Stacey Thank you! Best wishes!
@diasroshi40972 жыл бұрын
Thank you!🌼
@thegentlereader34146 жыл бұрын
You are wonderful, thank you so much.
@24MROJAS248 жыл бұрын
lovely words..and a great tool box kit for understanding what you need to know as a codependent in recovery. thank you.
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 жыл бұрын
+M Rojas Thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you found this video helpful.
@carolyncervantes68287 жыл бұрын
Thank you counselor Carl
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Carolyn Cervantes You're very welcome! Best wishes!
@helenaredsky7 жыл бұрын
Thank you., the film you describing which exactly what I needed to hear, I must focus on getting to know about me more& my own recovery first before focusing on others. I love hearing about the end story of that film how she fell in love with what she saw in him.That's inspiring. I started to pay more attention on Coda these days & melody Beattie guide of recovery. Thank you.
@lizanal15219 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! This was great.
@MrEsco2065 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video it’s uplifting to hear your words!
@Serenityonlinetherapy5 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes!
@darinsmith2458 Жыл бұрын
This is good stuff.. It is late at night and my brain is mush but if you have more stuff I will probably watch it..
@redlionesv6 жыл бұрын
Needed to see this 11/18/17
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Red Lion 718 I'm glad it was helpful. Best wishes!
@happyhealthyhomestead3 жыл бұрын
This video saved my life today. Thank you
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! I wish you the best in your recovery.
@lifestylewithoma4 жыл бұрын
I’m out of this , just refreshing my mind☺️
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Congrats on your recovery!
@LgworkerHeartYoYo8 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your nice way, to convey this valuable knowledge on :) Namaste
@Serenityonlinetherapy8 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your kind words!
@cappyu7 жыл бұрын
Great video as I struggle to find myself everyday losing my career due to ms I can still get around and all but on disability and can only work pt time but can not find a job to meet my needs. I also broke up with an ex fiance back in August of Last year and have met a wonderful new lady online who I feel is my everything that I have always wanted in a lady but sometimes I say am I looking for her to save me? I feel not but at the same time i have very few male friends and finding yourself shouldnt be in isolation part of my isolation is not having enough funds to do things so its a catch 22 I go back and forth constantly one day feeling great the next in despair but thank you so much for your videos they are truly are a blessing...
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes!
@BBC4.07 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
@xw72396 жыл бұрын
Thank you beautiful human. This is so helpful. You are a blessing.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
S k W You're welcome! And thank you!
@elhadjdiallo6334 жыл бұрын
That the reason why it has affected my life in many ways etc.. Frankly speaking im an Empath i love people with all my heart etc !!!! I really need your hepl please sir i wanna go back school etc and do something optimistic with myself etc....
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
Hi Elhadji, keep learning about codependency vs healthy relationships. Best wishes!
@elhadjdiallo6334 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thank you sir!!! Im so delighted for that ....i love your sermon frankly speaking !!! Take care sir and be well .....
@Serenityonlinetherapy4 жыл бұрын
@@elhadjdiallo633 You're welcome! Best wishes!
@elhadjdiallo6332 жыл бұрын
@@Serenityonlinetherapy sir I really need help so that I can go to college and further my education ....thank you sir I will be waiting for your request promptly...
@j-fit6777 жыл бұрын
What a beautiful tie!
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Anderson Silva. LOL!
@davidquincy56377 жыл бұрын
thanks for the video I have two problems here; one my wife is a nurse and she is codependent which was learn from observing her parents and me a PTSD rated veteran who is also codependent from growing up in a large neglectful family... I'm not sure where to start but we're heading for divorce after 19 years because we can't communicate and I just out of it... seems to be the logical solution because my wife is going over and above to bend backwards for the kids to keep them close by but they are 19 & 17 now and should be relying less in her.
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
David Quincy Communication is a problem for codependents. Educating yourselves about codependency, counseling, and Codependent Anonymous can help. Best wishes!
@laurayates40332 жыл бұрын
SO SO super helpful - thank you!!!
@Thomasfrohwitter Жыл бұрын
Hi Laura, how’s your day going with you?
@janeenmpellicane9567 жыл бұрын
Ty so much Carl! This was soooo helpful! A great guideline!!
@Serenityonlinetherapy7 жыл бұрын
Janeen Pellicane You're very welcome!
@ashrafunnisabegum94046 жыл бұрын
What do I do when I am a codependent and my partner is a narcissist? I don't want to end the relationship but I know it is a little toxic for me.
@Serenityonlinetherapy6 жыл бұрын
Hi, Ashrafunnisa. It is not possible to have a healthy relationship with a true narcissist, and you do not have the power to change him. However, you do have the power to learn to set boundaries with him or to leave him. If he is a true narcissist, then your needs and feelings do not matter to him. So, you also need to look into what it is about you that tells you that you must stay with a person who doesn't care about your needs and feelings. Why are you willing to setting for such a person? Best wishes!
@WhatTheHellRachelle3 жыл бұрын
I really needed to hear this, thank you so much!
@Serenityonlinetherapy3 жыл бұрын
You're welcome! Best wishes!
@neverloseyourself74803 жыл бұрын
Outstanding Thank you so much!!! Hence patience has been the