When Cognitive Dissonance Goes Too Far | Kitchen Nightmares

[@KianaDocherty]

💬 Join our NEW DISCORD Server! 💬 geni.us/join-our-discord ⭐ Buy my guide "How to Change" ⭐ geni.us/how-to-change-guide Learn the skill of change and break bad habits with behavior change! Thanks for watching - let me know if there are any other shows you'd like to see a breakdown of!

[@Blox117]

kiana i hope you know these shows are dramatized and exaggerated a lot of the time as well.

[@Inapainting]

@@Blox117 i hope you know you’re a b*tch leave kiana alone you F*cking loser

[@supriyasharma877]

¹1

[@ItsMeDarlaLee]

Hey Kiana! Love your videos 💗 would you ever consider doing a what you eat in a day?

[@williamsmith5340]

One of my favorite shows

[@James-sx8ik]

i always felt bad for the poor chef being blamed for the bad food, proving he can cook well, and then her still trying to blame him, all while not even getting paid.

[@Broyale26]

Yeah, that ish made my blood boil.

[@WobblesandBean]

Right? Absolutely wretched people.

[@manicpepsicola3431]

I honestly think him and her do pills together especially xans why else would he put up with that for so long not being paid but sticking around and bringing up her being on Prozac probably to avoid calling her an addict while calling her dependant idk I've seen it happen with people before it looked very familiar

[@willn8664]

I wouldn't blame the chef if he slapped the taste out of the old lady's mouth.

[@kiara6237]

I felt bad for him too.

[@gablison]

The part where the owner smiles maniacally when the chef gets dressed down by Gordoon juxtaposed by Gordon's praise of him when he makes one of his own recipes and then seeing her glare at the burger is just... chef's kiss, that was one of the most cathartic thing's I've ever witnessed.

[@Jazzisa311]

That part where the chef nervously walks in with his own burger, Gordon takes a bite and says 'it's delicious!' (something we're not used to hearing from the famously critical dude!), and him humbly, but with an undertone of TOLD YOU SO! simply saying 'thank you chef', with her face looking shocked.... I want to play that on a loop!

[@kumada84]

That reaction shot had nothing to do with Gordon Ramsay saying the food was bad. She's not even standing in the same place in that shot.

[@gablison]

@@kumada84 Gordon was ripping into the chef because he thought the first burger he ate was the chefs recipe when it was the owners. Then later the chef made Gordon his own burger recipe and praised it and the woman was staring daggers at the burger while Gordon was eating and then even fake gagged and spit it out when she tried it. What are you talking about?

[@jaybling6687]

Not only that, if you watch the full episode, which is up on both Gordon's and the Kitchen Nightmares KZbin channels in full, the sous chef gives the chef a fist bump over their victory over the owners. The staff all knew what was up.

[@JuanGarcia-gy8vl]

I felt so bad for the son. They robbed their son just to be mediocre. All the good things he could've done with that money for his future. Those 2 really make me mad.

[@donaldotrumpo828]

I dunno, taking a look at his girlfriend and shamelessly pridefully wearing a fedora I highly doubt he was gonna make any better choices in life.

[@TrizollinTehWorld]

@@donaldotrumpo828 lmfao bruuuh

[@noone8393]

@@donaldotrumpo828 damn you brutally honest

[@ViperliciousOG]

@@donaldotrumpo828 BAHAHAHA

[@dingdongfootball5331]

There is another episode of this show with a mexican restaurant where this lady’s stepfather opened it in her name and ruined her credit. I can’t believe how common it is for people to screw over their kids like this

[@timepoet77]

For the record, Daniel's grandfather was a notorious Australian mobster and numbers runner. And Alan became almost a carbon copy of his old man, hence the devious financing practices of the restaurant's origins.

[@ViperliciousOG]

Interesting, did they state this in the beginning of the episode or did you find it on a deep dive somewhere online? o:

[@_lenny_____leonardo]

I was wondering why Alan had such a hard to place accent. I thought maybe he was trying to mimic Gordon as part of his delusional behavior.

[@popartpistol]

@@ViperliciousOG He mentions his book in the ep. His grandfather was a notorious criminal and ordered the arson attack that killed 6 children at a Sydney fun park in the 70s. Abe left Alan a tiny inheritance and he went on a media rampage after that. Kind of wild that he ended up on Kitchen Nightmares!

[@timepoet77]

@@ViperliciousOG I delved into it.

[@404Yaiba]

@@ViperliciousOG They talked about it mid episode when Ramsay set down with the son. Deniels father took his inheritance and put it into the business without his permission. He had ALOT of money that was given to him for his future. He was then forced to work for his father.

[@lileewinks]

A lot of people seem to think Gordon Ramsey can’t be doing a very good job since the vast majority of the featured restaurants fail without considering the fact that all of the restaurants were already failing and all of them would have failed without him. Just the fact that he managed to save some of the restaurants proves that as long as the owners and staff are receptive to his methods and willing to put in the work they can succeed.

[@davidnunez8561]

In a lot of these episodes he is no joke a family/relationship therapist

[@Saicofake]

Most of the restaurants he tried to save were already too far gone or reverted back to their old ways. IIRC, some restaurants were already bankrupted and closed the moment filming ended.

[@tylerbecker3348]

It's also SO HARD to keep a restaurant open, even when things are going well. Living in a major city, I've seen some exceptional restaurants come and go - some only having a few years of success. So many factors in play, even if the food and service is top-notch.

[@whyhellothere6855]

Like in 99% of the episodes the reason the restaurant is failing is because of some deep issue between the people running it. Think about it: if the people running a failing business were rational people and had good relationships with each other, if someone tells them what to change then they would just do it and it’s an easy problem solved. But this is a TV show so I bet they’re deliberately looking for the most deranged people 💀 it’s why Ive always thought that Gordon should just forget the cooking and get a whole team of psychologists instead. Poor guy is acting as a counsellor for half of the episodes

[@leifmeadows3782]

I honestly don't think this was ever about saving restaurants. I think it was about entertainment. I don't think the goal was ever to save failing restaurants, it was just an opportunity for the network to make money because everyone loves to watch a train wreck.

[@aimeejones9533]

Omg, the mother in this episode infuriates me every time. The way she pretends to choke on the improved burger is both hilarious and makes me so mad!!!

[@Rexhunterj]

It wasn't pretending, her dissonance is so strong that her brain tricked her into thinking it tasted revolting, it happens for real. I actually have a hard time eating pineapple if I think about it too much before I swallow, the longer I take to swallow, the harder it takes to swallows it. I'm not sure where the behaviour comes from but it's been with me as long as I can remember. (I love the taste of pineapple, it just happens when I try to swallow pineapple flesh.)

[@Gooong]

She's not pretending. She is allergic to flavor. The type of people who think ketchup is 'spicy'.

[@margarethmichelina5146]

Also, she's always claiming that she is a 64 years old woman every time in any situations.

[@Chefgrlangel]

@@margarethmichelina5146 my mom does that. “I’m an old woman how bad can I be” nonsense. It’s like yes you are old, so you should know how to behave appropriately by now… 🤯

[@BartdeBoisblanc]

That is what it's like to eat crow you might say.

[@johnnybrown307]

"He is working on the spirit of getting paid". Well I'll be at work in spirit then not in the physical form, that's what I would tell my boss. 😅😅

[@KianaDocherty]

😂😂😂

[@Kingofthenet2]

🤣🤣

[@rockandfashion7207]

Seeing the father not realize he’s repeating the same pattern with his son was just so incredibly frustrating. Glad he was able to come to terms with it, lots of people never do. Though I don’t know how he’ll be able to repay even if the business does well.

[@cosmicmuffin322]

It was a totally insincere apology. After the show the son moved away with his girlfriend and had to sue his parents to get his money back. I made another comment about how both parents fit the criteria for malignant narcissism. Narcissists do not give sincere apologies. They may do it to save face but inside they are usually plotting revenge lol.

[@666blaziken]

@@cosmicmuffin322yeah, I thing cognitive dissonance is correlated with narcissism, if you think you're only in the right even with evidence against you, that's narcissistic behavior.

[@bruhbruh4329]

That thief doesn't know how to apologize for anything

[@imwithstupid086]

@@cosmicmuffin322 That guy's father was a notorious crook back in Australia. Abe Saffron.

[@Ability-King-KK]

Well the father died a few years ago, so I doubt he ever did repay the son he stole from.

[@dearthofdoohickeys4703]

I binged _so much_ Kitchen Nightmares during covid. Nearly every restaurant it’s the same problem: the owners are in denial. And it’s usually centred around a broken family. Gordon is a glorified therapist the entire show.

[@trublgrl]

There a key part of this story that is kept to a small minimum in the show. Alan's father was a notorious gangster. A killer. Alan was raised in a world of cognitive dissonance, where gangsters constantly pretend they are not evil human beings profiting off the exploitation of others. His madness is part of his upbringing. There is no excuse I know for Jenn, except she seemed to fit into his world of deceit and insanity. The saddest thing is that, since Alan's dad was dead, and Alan was apparently NOT in the gangster business, Daniel, the grandson, could have been saved from the madness, except that Alan had never apparently developed a sense of morality. you could argue that a murderer can't teach you that, but Daniel knew what kind of life he wanted, and his parents destroyed his happiness, on purpose, over selfish, foolish, nonsense.

[@indigrey5533]

his father was actually friends with my grandfather! my family have a lot of stories about him, he ran businesses witn my grandfather including some clubs in kings cross, sydney

[@rebeccacampbell585]

Living in a world where gangsters pretend to be good. It sounds like the world we live in and most of the people and institutions around us doesn't it.

[@virginiavanni8061]

At least he made money in the mob

[@Saul_Ferguson]

I think the Alan guy is beautiful. And the David Blaine chef guy. They both crazy.

[@plantsntrance5513]

"We arent rational creatures. We are RATIONALIZING creatures." - I forgot who. Lol Great quote.

[@ViperliciousOG]

Wow those are truly some firey bars if there ever was 10/10

[@nycpupwhisperer]

thank you, that is amazing! got me curious and looked it up, I'm probably going to use it all the time from now on: Robert A. Heinlein - 'Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal.'

[@ratman202]

I like men

[@plantsntrance5513]

@@ratman202 me too buddy, me too.

[@solomonburgess3063]

@@ViperliciousOGEvery single restaurants will be shut down by John Taffer and his experts and his crew right in front of Gordon Ramsay. And get these people out of here on kitchen nightmares.

[@LidijaAfrika]

I have seen all of the episodes of Kitchen Nightmares and Chef David Blaine's situation has always made me mad and so sad for him, he was one of the only chefs in this show who was obviously talented and could cook very well but yet it was the owners who wouldn't allow him to do his job. The icing on the cake for me though was Chef David getting a 9/10 on his burger from Gordon Ramsay, thankfully someone gave talented and under appreciated chef David a moment to shine that he truly deserved

[@beepbeeplettuce5890]

That's like every other episode though, he wasn't "one of the only chefs who could cook" like half the episodes were a chef who was talented but was held back by the owner

[@crowdemon_archives]

There's quite a few chefs who work outside of the restaurant they were hired by and they made some wonderful stuff there.

[@wangdangatomictango]

Chef David did get to move up after he was fired. Of all the head chefs, David was easily top 3 chefs in the whole show for me. He absolutely deserved a successful career, he was just stuck in a shitty place since he wanted to move out of doing pastry.

[@Sidraughen]

This episode pissed me off so much. Not only are the owners such horrible restaurateurs but they stole their sons money. I can guarantee he never saw that money again.

[@PrestoPuma]

actually he won a lawsuit against them.

[@DavidAbyssal]

Waaooo...where can I find that news...? I need to elaborate...

[@Boyso5407]

In all honesty I would’ve taken my father to court for theft. He took 200K from his son without permission. That is stealing. I know it’s a family but the fact that the dad would do that to begin with shows that the father doesn’t care about the son so why would the son have a problem with taking him to court

[@alinatahir8326]

Yeah absolutely me too!

[@mrandrews3616]

Apparently, he did file charges but the details about the case aren't easy to find.

[@zekeprower1]

@@mrandrews3616 if I recall the case was dismissed in the end. Not sure why without paying money to a site to pull the record from the court

[@asioflammeus4846]

@@zekeprower1 My guess is that since the son was technically the owner of the restaurant, a case could be made that his money was spent on his own business, therefore not theft.

[@cosmicmuffin322]

Both of these parents tick all the boxes for malignant narcissists: lack of empathy, entitlement, deceiving and exploiting others for personal gain, delusional or paranoid beliefs, hypersensitivity to criticism, vindictive behaviour, lack of remorse, using displays of emotion to manipulate others, playing the victim.... They carry a great deal of suppressed rage (most obvious in the mother). Partners and children of narcissists will know that moment when a narcissist stares at you with malicious joy or pure rage and hatred. It's a very unsettling experience and here it's caught on camera for the world to see. And it's worth it to point out that the son almost looks like the biggest mess of all - but that's because he's being mentally tortured by the emotional cruelty and financial abuse of his viciously self-centred parents. Narcissist parents can drive people to the point of total mental and physical collapse - and still the narcissist parents may frame their child as the problem or the abuser, in the worst abuse of all. It's also worth pointing out that narcissists often need a scapegoat to blame for their failures, flaws, and the chef literally identifies himself as the scapegoat in this scenario.

[@ricknmorty7732]

This is happening to me right now !! My mom is extremely abusive and berates me constantly. She just wants me to pay her rent, treat her like she’s not a former alcoholic and pretend she’s a saint. While she’s highly narcissistic and truly sadistic to me. I don’t want to say all of my issues but anxiety/depression, abusive relationships. Her health and my trouble getting decent jobs with no degree- she used it to manipulate me and verbally insult me constantly. Last week she sat there screaming at me saying “you’re not trying” what are you going to do. Knowing I’m overwhelmed, and still trying ! The irony ? I applied for a great job with benefits in July. They just now got back to me and I got the job without an interview, just taking a long assessment and my resume. She immediately was “so proud” and knew I could do it. She’s happy about how much money I’ll make to support her. While she just verbally abused me, gaslighting me over and over. At one point I was in tears saying I’ll show you how many places I’ve applied to. I’ve deposited money in her account more than 3 times, not even having a technical job just online sales 😥 she’s ruined my peace and I will get away from her. Hopefully 😢

[@kumada84]

The son actually did want to be involved in the restaurant - he said himself that he and his father had been talking about doing it for years. Also, his inheritance was over 1 million dollars, so don't feel too bad for him. 😉

[@alolisa113]

@@ricknmorty7732 congratulations on the new job! But please, please PLEASE think about moving out and minimizing your interactions with your toxic mother. If you'd still choose to stay in touch with her and support her, I salute you, but it will be a lot easier and safer for you to do it from a distance. Best of luck.

[@Kushina2404]

@@ricknmorty7732 I hope you're able to get away from your mother. She sounds absolutely despicable.

[@dimsufferer9951]

@@kumada84 theft is theft no matter how much money you have

[@dismurrart6648]

I can really relate to the son. My dad and stepmom have deluded themselves in some similar ways. The utter rejection you feel when your parents have such strong cognitive dissonance about life choices they made and make that directly hurt you is such a horrible void.

[@cosmicmuffin322]

If you haven't already, it might help you to learn about personality disorders (i.e. narcissist, borderline, antisocial, and psychopathy), and if your parents meet those criteria it may give you some understanding and strength. I am an adult child of personality-disordered parents and it freed me so much to learn this. Find reliable sources since there is a lot of misinformation about narcissism out there. I recommend KZbin channels such as: Dr Ramani Surviving Narcissism (Dr Les Carter) Ross Rosenberg Michele Lee Nieves Coaching Prof. Sam Vaknin

[@josue1996jc]

i know . . . and you know what really hurts? when you have to tell them that is because of that behavior that you are where you are, so that they can stop doing it. ._. it sucks

[@Lunchladydoyle]

When you find out his Grandfather was also a narcissist who destroyed his Dad’s life you feel even worse. I hope he has healed from the betrayal at the hands of his Father and Mother and he is still married to his feisty wife. 💯

[@Beardown-pe1no]

It's even better when you find out that said grandfather was an Australian mob boss.

[@ghoulishgoober3122]

@@Beardown-pe1no Crikey!

[@claudia-uy5gk]

@@Beardown-pe1no lmao and one of the most infamous

[@cosmicmuffin322]

His walking breakdown is one of the best examples I've ever seen of someone who has basically been emotionally tortured to the point of a total breakdown by narcissist parents. You can see that it's absolutely tearing him up inside that his parents don't care, that they keep abusing him without remorse, and he can't understand it. And his mother's displays of fake caring only distress him even more. I know what that feels like and it's horrific, and very difficult to explain to others how confusing and painful it is.

[@higherpower254]

I think Alan died in 2020

[@gypsydanger1013]

I know people love to throw around the terms narcissist and gaslighting, but in this case, I think they apply to the dad. What a horrible, terrible person. But on a side note, the son's girlfriend (fiance?) deserves a ton of praise for being so loving and supportive to her partner. It's really cute how they always wear matching hats.

[@DavidAbyssal]

That alan creature died two years ago...

[@lemonlime8949]

Creature? Really?

[@RusticRonnie]

@@lemonlime8949he killed peoples IRL, was responsible for alot of stuff not just this. So yeah Creature may be fair

[@lemonlime8949]

@@RusticRonnie but his father was in the mob before him, so he didn’t have a choice. Is opening a restaurant that sells bad food better, or being a literal hitman lmfao

[@NerdyTimeLord]

Cognitive dissonance landed me in a mental hospital for a little while. Things can get really bad if you're unable to reconcile with reality.

[@sart1348]

I hope you are doing much better now!

[@NerdyTimeLord]

@@sart1348 thanks, I am. It led to proper medication and therapy

[@AndYouWillBeWithMe]

Damn... What happened?

[@coreyh6698]

No one: Alan Saffron: some have called me a meat sculptor, or a meat artist Me: 👁👄👁

[@UnderTheMoon3]

Why does that sound like a serial killer nickname lmao

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

@@UnderTheMoon3 😂😂 it really does!

[@rev0lve638]

_meat creator_

[@chilliecheesecake]

Comment section cancer.

[@Gekkoid]

@@rev0lve638meat creator had me dead

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

It adds more fuel to the fire that Alan was the son of major organized crime lord Abe Saffron. Abe was responsible for the Ghost Train fire in 1979 at Sydney's Luna Park which caused the deaths of seven people (including six children) because he wanted to gain control of the amusement park after the owner refused to do the sale. No wonder Alan thought it was okay to steal 250K from his son's inheritance to open his dream restaurant like nothing. And then Alan had the audacity to say his father cheated him out of inheriting his estate

[@BubblemouseM]

Thank you SO much for explaining what cognitive dissonance actually means! I’ve heard it so many times and never understood what it actually meant but you explained it in a really clear, concise way that I understood! Thanks Kiana!

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

I'm Polish on my dad's side, and I assure you mushrooms aren't important to the Poles. If there's one thing Poles especially love, it's potatoes. Idaho, Poland, Ireland, and Ukraine are the four horsemen of the Potatopocalypse. Doesn't surprise me one bit it ended up still closing. The menu was changed numerous times, it changed ownership with a rebranding, and even after the rebranding the restaurant still got bad reviews. None of the burgers Gordon made remained on the menu

[@saraha8276]

Theyre pretty important (especially cep mushrooms) from where my grandma ia from 😅 She puts it in Bigos, soup, kapusta, pierogi. Even golobki.

[@Helena-mm2wc]

Lol how could you forget Belarus? They are the main potato state for sure☝🏻

[@monkeycat48]

That’s funny that’s what I always thought of I’m not trying to point stereotypes but that’s always kind of what I thought of where are you guys what your favorite foods are and potatoes have always been that mushrooms well I think mushrooms can originate anywhere in the world. I want to try and make a steak add some wine to the mushrooms love you so great I’m gonna try that and add some potatoes to cooked potatoes

[@milenak8138]

Well, I'm born and raised in Poland and I assure you mushrooms ARE really important to us, in a sense, that we value them very much. The craze for mushroom gathering in the fall season is like nothing else. For 2 months straight our social media pages are full of people showing how much mushrooms they gathered that day, and some go everyday if they can. A lot of people from the cities will go a long way, just so they could gather mushrooms themselves. Forest mushrooms are a very important part of polish cuisine, to the point that you are considered weird if you don't like them. Of course, we eat a lot of potatos, but we don't especially love them, that's just a common food. And even talking about everyday foods, we consider bread the most important. We love our bread.

[@tearainey1]

There's nothing better on this earth than a dinner of steak and potatoes. Growing up on a ranch, that was our staple diet. There was always beef, and there was always potatoes. The eternal two.

[@beanburrito4405]

If I was the son, I would have sued my parents

[@666blaziken]

I heard from another commenter that he ended up sueing his parents

[@manicpepsicola3431]

He eventually did sue

[@jayrudo6280]

Doesn’t help if the parents are broke. Might help him feel vindicated.

[@LuccaPassos_]

And Alan died like 2 years ago

[@ghostflxwer]

@@LuccaPassos_ good

[@floydlooney6837]

The show is more about psychology than food in a lot of ways

[@NebLleb]

Burgers should be cooked at least medium rare, not served as posh raw meat steaks!

[@maenad1231]

Its a good idea to cook *ground* beef PAST medium rare that’s for sure.

[@colonelmustard2652]

​​​@@maenad1231 if you grind it yourself right before cooking it and use prime cuts as the source meat and wash it off before you cut it into cubes and use clean cutlery and a clean meat grinder, then it's possible to do so and still be pretty safe. no one does that, though. most ground beef is from meat reclamation processes after all the good cuts have been removed and are likely to cross contaminate with effluent and so on from the carcass, due to the way they try to remove the last bits with high pressure water, keep workers going at a frantic pace with poorly maintained tools, and so on and so on. blah blah blah. there's shit in the meat. cook it.

[@DaRealKing303]

@@colonelmustard2652 well if you put it that way, there is shit everywhere.

[@colonelmustard2652]

@@DaRealKing303 that's a safe assumption

[@manicpepsicola3431]

@@DaRealKing303 there is always shit on mushrooms tbf

[@fruitloopz311]

Definitely make this Kitchen Nightmare stuff a series. These people are nuts

[@mattheww239]

Have you seen Dance moms? I find that to be the greatest psychological experiment ever televised. Since a mother’s relationship to child is so primitive, the reactions to stress and confrontation are fascinating.

[@maf7742]

As with many other people, I feel like your videos have genuinely helped me improve my life. I found you back when you mostly posted about food (your channel grew fast, holy...) and have since stopped eating as much fast food. I've stopped taking so many sugary drinks, and try eating vegetables and fruit instead of chips/cookies as snacks. My favorite local fast food chain opened a restaurant in my neighborhood so it's HARD, but whenever I'm tempted I go back to channels like yours, Greg Doucette, My Thoughts Will Probably Offend You, etc. and you guys put me back on track. Videos analyzing negative behavioral patterns has also helped a lot; it's easy to blame others and say you can't do something because of external forces. It's an easy way out, if you will. Sure, it's harder for some of us than others, but in the end, all the help and support means nothing if we don't help and support ourselves first, and sometimes it means getting out of the comfort zone and accepting we've failed, and that's okay.

[@ViperliciousOG]

Very well said. Yet it's been days months years and I haven't made even half the small-big changes I should have. I might have trashbrain

[@rockandfashion7207]

@@ViperliciousOG it could also be information overload. When people have too many options to choose from it makes things harder instead of easier for them. Tbh only a few changes, maintaining that for a long period of time, and then adding more when you are able to may be a better way to go about it if you are getting overwhelmed (from a fellow trashbrain lol).

[@bianka.mazurkiewicz]

Hi Kiana! I just wanted to tell you - thank you. You changed my life when I found your channel, my whole mindset and relationship with food improved. Since I started watching your channel I've lost more than 30lbs! And I never could lose weight. You are so incredibly smart and your videos are great. I love you! ❤️

[@therealcarlxii]

"He had been working on the spirit of getting paid". That line really made me laugh out loud 😂

[@zalamael]

The biggest problem with cognitive dissonance is that it is self inflicted, as an ego defence mechanism. And such people who employ it to avoid having to face uncomfortable truths about themselves, often surround themselves with enablers who buy into their delusions, and that only further embeds the cognitive dissonance. The more people hide from reality, the harder it becomes for them to face it, as they are the only ones who can break themselves out of their loser mentality and get themselves going in the right direction. It is heartbreaking to have people in your life that you care about who do the above, and realising that it would be in your own best interests to cut them off instead of wasting time and energy trying to help them when they clearly don't want to be helped. This is easier or harder depending on who they are are what their relationship is to you (family, partner, friends etc). It is the fallacy of sunken costs, and they will drag you down with them if you keep trying. Sometimes cutting them off can work (as it gives them a big shock to their psyche), but it most commonly results in a sense of victimhood and blame shifting to avoid having to take any responsibility for their own behaviour. The sad reality is they are the only ones who can help themselves, but they tend to work far harder protecting their delusions to avoid having to admit to anything wrong on their end (and surrounding themselves with enablers who are easily manipulated by playing the victim is one of their preferred methods).

[@carriehasaproblem4959]

I felt so bad for the son mannn

[@ettcha]

Kitchen Nightmares gave me binging problems of another sort 😂 Nice episode! Scary part is if I scale this example way down, I can think of a couple of occasions where I probably had behaviours driven by cognitive dissonance.

[@666blaziken]

I think everyone has cognitive dissonance in some way or another. Usually happens when you feel prideful to a fault and don't want to swallow that pride down and accept that you're wrong about something.

[@Marshmallow_Trees]

I don’t think Daniel’s family was necessarily entirely in denial about his unhappiness, I think they didn’t CARE. Dad was in the early stages of dementia here, but clearly there was a narcissistic man with antisocial behavior under the creeping fog. And Mom is something, I think, far more toxic, because she isn’t as clueless as her husband. She’s borderline all the way, combative, sadistic, and cruel. The son is the one truly in denial, but not entirely. He sees the futility and tragedy of his situation, but he hurls himself in the midst of it anyway in some hope of retrieving his inheritance. The girlfriend means well, but she too is in denial. You cannot argue with psychopathic people, you cannot enlighten them. Walk away from people like these parents and leave them to their destruction. Help from afar, maybe, with elder care and the like. But stay away.

[@Grimace_Iscariot]

He couldn't walk away though. His father stole his inheritance so he was financially tied to that place.

[@Joel-wx7zk]

@@Grimace_Iscariot And where did it lead him? The restaurant still ended up closing. If you don't cut your losses and walk away, reality will force you to. His parents had too much issue for this to succeed, the money was gone the moment they took it.

[@damienthonk1506]

@@Joel-wx7zk okay but he literally couldn't leave at all until that happened

[@Grimace_Iscariot]

@@Joel-wx7zk I halfway agree with that. He should've sued his parents the second he found out that they took his money instead of waiting for it to be depleted. But morally speaking, he probably didn't get to that point until he saw that his dad fucked him over for a pipe dream

[@katem6993]

thank you for your insight, DisappointingPorn

[@inolaheart]

Cognitive dissonance is literally the reason why I'll eventually quit my job. It's fucking unbearable.

[@mags_9532]

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Work isn't everything. Don't let them get you too far down. ♡

[@inolaheart]

@@mags_9532 awww that's so sweet. Thank you❤️

[@defunkdafied]

Same here! I quit last week, feels amazing. Wishing the best for you!

[@inolaheart]

@@defunkdafied the dream 😍 enjoy it! 🥳

[@FreyjaYngling]

4:46 gets me every time. Alan's lack of self awareness is astounding.

[@SalvatoreSuarez]

i love this channel so much!!! keep going girlie:)

[@KianaDocherty]

thank you!!!!!

[@SalvatoreSuarez]

@@KianaDocherty any day bb🫶🏻

[@tylociraptor8131]

I would love to see you take on Scared Straight style shows, where they bring children into a prison to face prisoners. I have a feeling it does probably the opposite of what they're hoping it does.

[@traceswann7054]

Loved the video, Hotel Hell would be my suggestion for a show. Same concept as Kitchen Nightmares. There’s some pretty interesting people on the show. Lots of content lol

[@suzannax]

Hotel inspector in the UK sounds similar too

[@capt_hapa]

great vid! i think its crazy how often these type of patterns occur throughout kitchen nightmares. the denials, the minimizing the argument of "well you can't please everyone" are almost always there

[@Pollypocket1]

I’ve always been working at restaurants. These episodes blow my mind bc anywhere I’ve worked even with all the structure and lovely food, still things feel hectic. I can’t imagine how hard or impossible it is to work here at all

[@danieljohnson2005]

I felt bad for Daniel for a long time because his father stole his inheritance money, until I researched more about his grandfather. Allen’s father was actually the biggest gangster in Australia for decades, so that inheritance was obviously blood money.

[@alphamuplays1669]

This episose was infuriating. The father was the WORST. The poor son, i can only imagin what hes gone thru to end up here as an adult.

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

Alan: The food is four to five stars Gordon: Bland, tasteless, raw Alan: *Why do I hear boss music?* Gen: The chef is the problem Gordon: His burger is delicious Gen: *Why do I hear boss music?*

[@angrychickadee4456]

The generational trauma is oozing out of this

[@ryanhey3425]

Amy's baking company if you haven't done it already that was the MADDEST episode of kitchen nightmares 1000%

[@MNcoquicoqui]

OH HELL YEAH, absolutely 💯

[@katherinemorelle7115]

She already did Amy

[@MartuPamio]

i study psychology. i love watching your videos because i can see the theory im learning being "put in practice"! lol. keep up the good work kiana!!

[@madeofmandrake1748]

Getting your book now. ADHD, GED and seasonal depression has sent my life to such a level that I cannot focus on nearly anything mentally stimulating. Not work, not school, not finance, not even personal goals or hobbies (other than gaming, but that's not a hobby, it's a dependancy). I should be properly medicated to move away from this cycle but I can't control my behaviour long enough for any good habits to stick. It's a horrid circle; the ADHD makes me forget the habit, the anxiety punishes me for failing to change, and the depression keeps me from believing that solving this problem is worthwhile - or even possible. Bad habits have ruled my life since 3rd grade, so any insight on how to get good ones is sorely needed. Not even therapy was super effective since they only talk about what I want them to talk about, rather than addressing what is most important. I hope I have enough attention span to read and use your book properly, because by god I need it.

[@ViperliciousOG]

Loved this video! How pleasantly surprising they didn't turn & rage on Gordon in an attempt to grasp at the dying strings holding their perceptions together. I hope Daniel has found some peace, meaningful work and new lifestyle. Also that poor chef idk if he went back to work there or ever got his FULL BACKPAY *OWED* to him but can you imagine the stress and discomfort caused by serving food daily that you KNOW is fcking garbage and that you KNOW how it could be made better in every way? I'm sure every single burger pained him to flip and occasionally he'd season + serve a proper burger when he couldn't dismiss his instincts anymore. Those occasional unsupervised dishes must've been the only thing people enjoyed and maybe even came back for; only for the father to be micromanaging each plate that day and ordering the same thing only to get bland trash instead. What a roller coaster.

[@KaaneDragonShinobi]

Compared to this I remember a Kitchen Nightmares episode where there were two twin brothers that ran an Italian restaurant, one in front and one in back. They both seemed to quickly grasp the fact that they sucked and one even cried on camera before they turned themselves around and did amazing by the end. They were leagues more accountable and mature than Alan over here.

[@mjrtaurus2714]

I admire how Grodon often attacks incompetence instead of inability.

[@ginalace]

Loved this video! Kitchen Nightmares is one of my favorite shows because of those exact behavioral situations. I just find it fascinating and try to use it to take a look at myself. I’d love to see you also review: Hoarders, My 600 lb Life, or Wife Swap (some of the older episodes, can’t speak for the revamps).

[@KakashiMike]

Kiana’s videos always brighten my day. Love how well-researched all your videos are!

[@KianaDocherty]

thank you!!!!

[@zadinal]

Okay, I KNOW you are branching out and doing things other than fitness stuff but the Show Fit to Fat to Fit is a perfect fit to your request about shows that highlight delusions or mental blocks. While Season 1 is arguably the best the episode with the Hollywood photographer is the one that really is aggravating in terms of mental gymnastics. At any rate, if you haven't seen that show, even if you don't do a review on it, just give it a watch. Really great!

[@wanderingman8921]

never work for free, never work on the promise of getting paid later...

[@katietrongogo]

Thank you! I took notes because everything said here applies literally and directly to my narcissistic step-mom and how she treats me. She blames me to the point of delusion and when faced with contradictory evidence she gets physically upset- rolling her eyes, throwing up her hands, interrupting, making baseless accusation, all of it. Very sadly though my father has chosen to side with her, I always thought it because it was easier, but maybe it also has to do with cognitive dissonance? He can't face the reality where he's complicit and part of the system that's letting the insanity continue. But anyway, thank you for the insight, it is very well put together and meaningful. I feel so much less crazy when I can learn about this type of phenomenon.

[@shifaniram3711]

Great work. Love your breakdown videos

[@theGhostSteward]

As someone who's was in a situation like that, sometimes lying to yourself is the only way you find to wake up at morning.

[@christophermiller3031]

@5:40 this video was great. this particular point is going to help me when discussing my father in the future. I was with my aunt Kathy and I was saying my dad had to be 'stupid' for the way he was with me in my teenage years. I should have said that his cognitive dissonance no longer allowed us to communicate. tbh I knew about cognitive dissonance but this video mashing together a familiar hells kitchen episode with a familiar mental term to help explain details of a mental condition is a great way to present a topic.

[@beanburrito4405]

I love these videos analyzing Kitchen Nightmares. Keep it up, you’re doing great work!

[@brose.03]

Imagine hating a person so, so deeply that you have to fake gag while “tasting” a meal that Gordon Ramsay himself commends mere seconds beforehand… JUST because you hate them.

[@tristanwegner]

I really like that despite showing people at maybe their worst, you are still respectful.

[@kyrvaoxephet9940]

My boyfriend got served a raw burger from the dining hall at his campus. I can't imagine going out of my way to a restaurant for that experience lol!

[@nurulizzati971]

the way i burst out laughing when the owner pretended to gag at the chef's burger when Gordon Ramsay himself said it was delicious. that is whole other level of dramatic i swear

[@doxaforthesoul]

Hearing Gen talk about mushrooms was immensely funny to me as a Polish person. Yeah mushrooms are cool and we put them in our pierogi, and yeah our dads do drag us mushroom-collecting in fall, but they are not part of our national identity lmao

[@beandrag9019]

More of a Baltic thing lol

[@nuggitron]

Kiana, i can't express how much i love listening to you. You have a gift for explaining things in precise, simple terms. These days it's becoming more and more of a rare thing to hear someone speak with mastery of the English language (says the English teacher). Keep doing what you do. Love your videos!

[@112523]

That moment when they preferred the boiled burger always manages crack me up. There's no fucking way someone can actually claim that with such a straight face

[@MK_ULTRA420]

S T E A M E D H A M S

[@angellava1337]

I didn’t know how hard this video would be to watch. That father reminded me of my own father, and I don’t know how to feel.

[@luther1546]

Gordon is so devastated by bad food. He seems genuinely rocked to his very core.

[@atheisthumanist1964]

This is so much more than cognitive dissonance. This is narcissistic abuse, and unfortunately with the son being the only child, dealt with the brunt of both of the parents narcissism. I really hope the son has started therapy. It will be a long road for him, but I hope he can find the peace of mind he deserves. It's hard at times, but don't ever carry other peoples issues for them, especially the ones who claim to love you.

[@BlueLizardKing]

If any of my parents stole 250,000 of my inheritance to open a shitty restaurant, I don't care, I'd sue them.

[@BrawlFan1]

I’d very much enjoy more breakdowns folks who appeared on Kitchen Nightmares. One in particular is Joe Nagy from Mill Street Bistro. His behavior was an enigma to me, like, I could never tell if it was outright malicious or just full on delusional.

[@kendramarkworth6855]

I've heard cognitive dissonance a lot when I watch my favorite vegan youtubers and I never really could lock in what it was. This makes me understand it a whole lot more now! Thank you!

[@thescowl6971]

I really wanna see you analyze some of the owners from a show similar in structure to Kitchen Nightmares called Bar Rescue. In particular: Ed from The Dugout, Matt and Karen from O-Face, and Lonnie from Wonder Bar.

[@adamrojas9235]

posted 30 seconds ago?? LETS GOOO! and has cheif ramsey?? LETS FING GOOOOO!

[@KianaDocherty]

hahaha

[@rebeccacampbell585]

Cognitive dissonance is an intense interest of mine because I was raised in a religion full of it. Somehow I was able to get out and I have spent over a decade examining my beliefs and behaviors. I know I'm not free of it yet and may never be totally free of it but it is a process we all have to go through to be more honest, healthy and authentic.

[@TStizzle19]

Just found this channel today and I'm super excited to see a new video already. Great work with your content can't wait to see what you do next!

[@Roman_Adrian]

THIS was why I ALWAYS watched Gordon: To see him psychologically analyze the crew. Sometimes the same for Jon Taffer.

[@ThomasMegabezemboy]

I would've liked to see a bit more of the father realizing how he's been behaving, as well as how the mother responds because she clearly seemed much, much more fueled by resentment. It is a form of catharsis after seeing people behave so annoyingly deluded.

[@KianaDocherty]

thank you! this is important and i'll keep this in mind for next time!!

[@ThomasMegabezemboy]

@@KianaDocherty Thank you for the content as well!

[@AamuAurora]

As if I heard myself. "Mushrooms are important to me. I'm from Poland" is a sentence I say daily. An absolute gem.

[@mahassweta_banerjee]

Also generational trauma... Runs in the family... Very difficult to break the cycle of it...

[@CecilMcfly]

THIS EPISODE OMG haven't watched the video yet but kiana covering kitchen nightmares and the best/worst episode yes plllzzzz

[@crowofjudgement8810]

Hopefully chef David got an opportunity to work somewhere where his talent is appreciated

[@codymays9943]

David has been doing well ever since!

[@Crowboneboy]

7:18 Her satisfied expression is downright diabolical. So much cruel joy in those sunken eyes. Fucking disgusting.

[@rinnycody9228]

Tabitha Takes Over! Some of the salons/businesses on their we're SO deluded

[@mamamillwright458]

It used to get me so angry when I'd see anyone stay with a toxic family member. Then I remember the under meltdown my siblings had when I cut off my abusive addict father and my mother, who defended him. I mean, I still cut them off despite my siblings' protests. But I can see why it's hard for others.

[@Kai_Ning]

Son: Inherit a hefty sum of money from grandpa Father: Use the son money to open a shity restaurant whithout any of the skills required to do so grandpa: did the same thing to the father by trying to force him into the mob. ... Into the mob ? The whole inheritance is FREAKING BLOOD/DUG/SEX TRAFFICKING/WHATEVER THE MOB DID. Okay, i'm out, they can all rot in the street i wouldn't shed a tear for them. That whole bloodline clearly deserves none of the huge chance they're wasting by mismanaging a burger place in the country of burgers. It's like failing a bakery here in france. It's nigh impossible even if there's 4 in the same street.

[@damienthonk1506]

There's so much wrong with this comment I don't even know where to start. For one, the son is completely innocent. He had no part in any of the things his terrible family did and didn't deserve to have his money stolen from him. Second, tons of restaurants fail _because_ there are a million of the same kind in one place. Clearly you don't know much about business if you're spouting bullshit like this

[@Kai_Ning]

@@damienthonk1506 If his grandpa really was a mob boss, the money he inherited is tainted. He might be innocent but in the grand scheme of thing, his family should never had this money, other family shouldn't have been extorded/scammed out of it 2 generations ago, further reinforcing inequality over the years. There's a freaking reason the whole world turns to shit and that's only because of garbage people claiming money that ain't there's and have no moral claim to. As for the bakery/resaurant comment i said, i'm pretty much sure that real life experience of seeing an abnormal number of retaurant in the same streets in lots of different towns prove me right so....

[@sorath1396]

I stole 250,000 dollars from my son to open a restaurant that's bleeding funds like a stuck pig, forcing him to foot the bills, and stressing him out so much that it's taking several years off his lifespan. I wonder why he resents me?

[@IceQueen975]

Oh, I'm real familiar with cognitive dissonance. The last 2 years have shown it to us in *spades* .

[@ZephyrinSkies]

I know what you mean, the things people will believe when it comes from an authority figure and peer pressure regardless of actual reality.

[@hou950]

I had a situation with cognitive dissonance myself. It either forces you to change your behavior into the great and capable image you have for yourself or you interpret other people's criticism as an attack. For my case it was both but I'm proud to admit the denial didn't last too long.

[@Wolfiewolf1234]

I feel so incredibly bad for the son. My mother stole nearly $20,000 from my brother so that hits a little close to home for me.

[@Trorane]

Just discover your channel and I'm enjoyed it so far. It's helpful to actually see this kind of behavior in action.

[@k-dawgHI]

Can’t wait for the inevitable Joe Nagy episode XD

[@KianaDocherty]

i've certainly thought about this looool

[@UnderTheMoon3]

I can’t wait for the nino episode 😂

[@loveida4960]

Please make this into a series!!!!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽♥🙏🏽♥♥🙏🏽♥🙏🏽♥

[@WobblesandBean]

The son stole his son's money, refuses to pay their chef, blames said chef for their own failures, and still won't pay his son for the money he stole. And the mother sees nothing wrong with any of this.

[@ricknmorty7732]

You mean dad stole

[@user-ns3vs3bp3e]

I really loved the chef fucking nailing the cooking the moment he was asked to cook what he wanted, nothing is more clear from that point that it’s the owner’s fault in every possible way 😂

[@Saharashii]

KIANA !! I love the look of all your books, I'd love a tour /review of some of them

[@peterlorincz3590]

These exact same behavioral patterns also appear in many episodes of Tabatha takes over. Just like in Kitchen nightmares, many business owners have no clue what they are doing and still believe they are experts. Anyway, thanks for another great vid. 😃👍