When Debt Pushes You Over The Edge | Debt & Depression

TW: deals with depression, mental health, suicide, and more.
If you are feeling despair, reach out to any of the resources below:
➝ suicideprevent... CALL 1-800-273-8255
➝ www.crisistext... Text CONNECT to 741741
➝ anthemofhope.or...
A debt payoff plan can help ➝ shop.penniesno...
I've been avoiding sharing this video, but I have to share this with you guys to be honest and transparent about why all of this means so much to me and why I talk about money on KZbin.
I rarely ever talk about this but one thing I learned at FinCon was that being vulnerable and transparent can reach more people than holding back. So while I AM TERRIFIED to share this video, I know I need to. I've prayed a lot in my life over this and I'll continue to do so, now praying that it reaches the right person and they find hope.
Debt is not worth the despair and shame many of us have felt. That's why I talk about money on KZbin, that's why I talk about mental health on KZbin.
Life can be so, so terribly hard y'all. So hard. While I believe that God has given us blessings even in our suffering, we all need help to get through them. It is ok to need help! We are not made to go through life alone and needing help doesn't make you a burden.
If you are feeling despair over debt or just how hard life can be, reach out to any of the resources below:
➝ suicideprevent... CALL 1-800-273-8255
➝ www.crisistext... Text CONNECT to 741741
➝ anthemofhope.or...
➝ afsp.org
Or feel free to leave a comment here and share your story! Comments will be monitored and moderated and this will be a safe place or comments will be disabled, fair warning.
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HELPFUL MONEY VIDEOS:
WHY GET OUT OF DEBT (10 REASONS) | COLLAB
• Why You Should Pay Off...
Our $43,000 Debt Snowball | How To Pay Off Student Loans
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How To Setup Sinking Funds | Sinking Funds Capital One 360 | Budgeting For Beginners ➝
• Sinking Funds Explaine...
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CONTACT ME:
Mary
P.O. Box 240981
Memphis, TN 38124
Website: penniesnotperfe...
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[@PenniesNotPerfection]

If you are feeling despair, reach out to any of the resources below: ➝ suicidepreventionlifeline.org CALL 1-800-273-8255 ➝ www.crisistextline.org/depression Text CONNECT to 741741 ➝ anthemofhope.org/hopeline Debt payoff planner to help make a plan ➝ shop.penniesnotperfection.com/products/debt-payoff-planner-bundle-printable

[@KasiBruce]

I'm a 22yr old who has been in debt for over a year + now, it all started when my mom died last year January... she was paying for my higher education and after she died I had no where to live and no way of paying for my next tuition fees so I resorted to borrowing, I got a part time job which wasn't enough so i made some really bad choices in order to survive, a year later I've found myself in so much debt I don't know how to get out, I'm barely surviving trying to pay back and it's deeply eating me up, I've dropped out of university cause it's just making my situation worse, I'm depressed and completely unaware of how I'm going to get out

[@kingjoseph5901]

​@@KasiBrucehow are you doing now?

[@bradly8686]

I’m fighting every day to not take my own life because of the debt I’m in

[@__BenDiaz]

It'll be fine brother

[@ThePortalTheory]

It's 3am and I'm super depressed so I came here to hear her remind me it's temporary. 😢 it's so hard to see the other side so please let's hang in there. Reach out to your friends and family so they can help or call a local church. I hope you are ok.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Sending everyone in this situation lots of love. I promise debt is never worth your life. It’s something that can be erased, forgiven, managed, or paid off. Lots of solutions to a very temporary problem.

[@rsbyoutube4588]

Me too! I’m drowning right now

[@kitasofia]

I am so so sorry 😞 it’s not worth it. You can bring so much good into this world. I believe there’s hope.

[@Solar_Corpus]

It feels like when you’re in debt you’re not allowed to be happy…

[@coopsahoy8563]

Literalllyyyyy. This is exactly how I feel!

[@sheilawilkinson8016]

We all have debt. We all feel helpless at time. You are not alone .

[@theVoid524]

I'm trying to accept that I've screwed my life up and let myself down. I don't know how it's possible to undo the damage. I'm just stuck. I hate myself for how badly I've messed everything up.

[@jhpondatrack]

How are you now?

[@kingjoseph5901]

Yeah, I'm mid 30s and had to move back home after dealing with the unexpected death of my best friend and my 13 year relationship coming to an end

[@hellenmwelwa8263]

Another way of coming out of debt is to overcome fear. Fear is the worst enermy when you're in debts. One has to be courageous enough to face it.

[@matt7565]

Very true without a certain amount of courage is almost impossible

[@CharlesWStricklin]

I'm so glad I came across this. I'm deep in debt at the moment and I've dealt with severe depression my entire adult life, and I'm on two antidepressants, seeing a psychiatrist and now two therapists. Some days I cannot get out of bed, or if I do, it's too late in the day to earn what I need. I'm struggling but I'm a survivor. Thank you for sharing.

[@weightliftbracelet]

Getting help is great, but also do reflection on the cost of all the medication and appointments. In the end, those are all money-draining activities that are only contributing to the problem. Seems contradictory because it is. I pray that you find peace and the willingness to pick yourself up and figure out how to get out of this. I understand as I’ve cleared a ton of debt already and still in my 20s.

[@davitodd9299]

Our son's friend did this years ago too. 😭 If you're reading this and thinking about this, please know that 100's of people will be hurt without you. You are valuable! Thanks for sharing Mary. 😍

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much. There are definitely so many people that hurt when someone is gone. It’s hard to know until they are gone but we are all loved in this world.

[@mshotcounselor]

But the debt and the little amount I make as a school educator is just not worth living for anymore. My mom did 38 years in education and died at work, now I’m 14 years in education field and I’m going to die in my home. Debt is not worth living in…. It’s miserable .

[@SippinTeaaa]

@@mshotcounselor DON’T ever give up, things will ALWAYS get better 💜

[@kingjoseph5901]

The problem is that people don't show they care until you're gone

[@LivingOnADime]

We see the despair and stress EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's so sad because it's so preventable!

[@shubhamchamoli7418]

Preventable are u sure?

[@AillySegunda]

I came here because I am literally drowning in debt. The worst part is I don't know how to get out. No, the very worst part is that debts collectors are calling with threats. I am depressed. I feel like vanishing. Forever

[@AnnGo-ts2ig]

same feeling. i dont know what to do right now. i want to lost forever and never exist in this world. no family and friends will help me...

[@user-zd7xc4ct5h]

Pray everything gonna be OK bro

[@user-zd7xc4ct5h]

Keep praying 🙏

[@grandmastatus]

This is the first video I watched from your channel and I am going to subscribe. Thank you for sharing this. I have depression and have had it long before I was in debt. I look forward to seeing more of your content.

[@joannedong]

People don't talk about this enough. It is now more important than ever and not many videos on KZbin highlights money issues. I'm sorry your sister had to go through this.

[@OnlyPlansStickerShop]

I hope KZbin does not demonetize this, because it's just as important - if not more - than any other content you or anyone else publishes. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Kate Lavender After seeing the response I’ll keep it up regardless because this really does need to be talked about. They’ve demonetized my videos where I talked about therapy in the past so I assume this one will follow, but it’s ok. This is important and honestly more important than me making any money.

[@mdwang0923]

Thank you for sharing this, this is very emotional for me. I am in a very, very, very dark place right now and I don't know, I just found your video while typing : how to get out of debt. Yes, there is not a day I don't think of ways how to die, I feel like I couldn't get out of my situation, and I felt like a burden to my husband because of my poor financial decisions..... And yet everyday somehow , something like this keeps me from doing another poor choice. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable side, you just saved another person, (me)

[@LSarah36]

@@mdwang0923 Our value as a human beings is not how much we have in our bank account. Your life worth more than your financial situation. Even if it’s hard finance is something that has solutions fortunately. Maybe take a finance course or ask someone to help you manage your finances, it may take time but I am sure you will get there. You are already researching on how to get out of that situation, it means you are in the right path. I wish you all the best! 💝

[@LatoyaLlab]

There has to be multiple ways to get your head above water. File bankruptcy even if that’s the last thing you wanted to do. Cut those dang cards up, give that car up and ride the bus, debt is something that you can rise above. Your life is so much more than debt.

[@802inge]

I don't often comment on videos but this one is important. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being human. Im so incredibly sorry for your loss. As sad as it is and as harsh this may sound, it already helped one person. You! You learned from it and attacked your own debt. It made you stronger in the end. Your videos help me to keep my eyes on my goals. I have a new mortgage and a 36000 euro debt. A debt that will be paid off in 10 years as long as I pay every month. No problem, but I want to pay it of in maximum 5 years (preferably earlier, but I would be happy with 5 years) and your videos help boost my confidence that I can. You are so strong! Yes, you cried but hey, you lost your sister. You lost a person you care about because of money shit. Its hard to talk about it and that's okay. Be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. I may only just start attacking my debt but you already helped me and I bet there are many more people out there that you helped with your videos. Thank you for sharing and thank you for all your videos. You've come a long way but please, keep making video's! A hug from the Netherlands, Inge

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Inge Hermans Thank you for this comment. You are right. Her experience helped me and changed me greatly. And because of that I now get to hopefully help others too. I definitely believe you will have that debt paid off in 5 years or less!

[@vickiehadley4945]

Penny I want to thank you for putting this out there. I’m a mental health therapist and I see it everyday how debt impacts others. I found your videos about 6 months ago and I watch everything you post. I lost all my brothers and my father within about 5 years of each other. I have a sister but she does not live close by and we seldom talk. I know how you feel when you say you lost someone you love and how she struggled with finances. The same year I lost my father I lost a very dear Sisterinlaw and she was extremely sick and felt the same as your sister. She didn’t commit actual suicide but in a way she did. She gave up and refused todo anything the doctors told her because she felt like there was no other way out. So I’ve shared this to let you know that you do help others and you help me every time I watch your video. I’m 54 years old with no retirement no health insurance and not much savings and I have 150,000 in debt so I could very easily be your sister. Most of this debt is student loans no credit cards thank god. My career does not support what I owe by no means so I NEED you and your channel. I am inspired by you to keep trying. I’ve been working hard this past 6 months because of your channel and the hope you have brought to me . Keep on making those videos and never feel what your sharing is not making a difference or helped anyone because it has helped me in so many ways. God bless and so sorry for your loss but know something good is coming out of your story. Please keep sharing you never know who you can help.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm proud of you for the work you've been putting in. While it might feel hard and not ideal, you are doing a great thing so you aren't struggling even worse in future years. You have a lot of time left to clean up that debt and build up a retirement nest egg so you have more to supplement social security. Definitely don't lose hope in that because I've heard the stories like yours on Dave Ramsey's show where they did exactly what you are trying to do. Your path might look different since you should be saving something for retirement and need to get health insurance (exchange? health sharing like medishare?) but you can do this Vickie! Proud of you! - Mary

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you all for the response. You are amazing.

[@shaifalixi]

Watching this from India... Totally depressed because of financial problems. I have no home no food no friends no family I've no one like totally alone... Sometimes feels like let's just end this all coz nobody cares if I'm there or not nobody will ever even notice my presence...

[@Leadersadapt]

I won't try to push a belief down your throat, Or try to be some motivational hero who ''knows it all'', Just giving you a reminder... that there's 1 of YOU... If you didn't have a powerful voice and a pure, heartwarming soul... why were you born in the first place? Seriously Shaif, Shut all that self sabotaging chatter in your mind for 10 seconds and realize that you've had a purpose since you were a baby - You weren't gifted a pumping heart, complex brain, entire nervous system and a godly soul just to throw it away because of some coins and paper bills. Realize you're special. God gives the biggest, most difficult, and scary obstacles to his strongest soldiers. Go out there and make the biggest comeback ever! I believe in you. Leadersadapt

[@DIVINGWITHPURPOSE413]

MARY THANK YOU FOR BEING OPEN AND SHARING THIS! There are so many people in debt and struggle with it. I watched my Mom paying on credit cards from things when I was back in high school. I seen what not to do, but it would take me many years later and taking Financial Peace classes to understand Money, Respect Money, and Make it work for me. I'm a Single Mom of 2 girls and through the Grace of God raised them to be financially woke young adults. Thank you for being open, I will be sharing this video ❤❤

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

DIVING WITH PURPOSE I also mostly learned what not to do when learning about money. You did such a great thing raising 2 girls to be strong and smart about money and life! I truly hope I can be like you. ❤️

[@DIVINGWITHPURPOSE413]

@@PenniesNotPerfection You are doing an AMAZING job and just Think your baby girl will learn so much from you, God Bless ❤

[@artofthebudget]

i really appreciate that you unapologetically talk about mental health!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you! I think it's definitely needed. I felt so bad for so long thinking something was wrong with just me, but these are very common problems. Once you start talking about it openly you realize lots of people have the same issues they are just scared to talk about it. I've really appreciate my church talking about it and starting a mental health ministry, they refer people out to local therapists and offer support people in the church that follow up. Stuff like that has made a big difference, just talking about it!

[@martaehulech6474]

So sorry for your loss and it is so true how suicide affects the family and friends of the person who took his /her life.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

marta ehulech It definitely does and has ripple effects out from the immediate family even further. It’s hard to see how important someone is until they are gone.

[@kelseykjarsgaard5774]

Im not gonna kill myself ill Just wait

[@amandamorales9030]

My family lived below the poverty line. Going to college had a huge opportunity cost. I could've worked full time. The money I would have made could've helped pay bills. It killed me to learn that my mother would hide the fact that the water had been shut off or the lights had been cut off while I was miles away accuring debt. I never want my child to feel that way and therefore, I manage my money very well. I created a community of youtubers that keep me motivated and you're one of my favorite youtubers to listen to. Never stop!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

That's awesome! I totally relate to some of that because my mom did similar things and struggled but didn't want any of us to know. She ended up in a really bad spot. I'll have to share that at some point but I've tried to keep the stories and such to just my own as I'm trying to correct some of my mistakes and her mistakes too, honestly. It's a hard thing to climb out of but you can do it! I'm glad you found all of us on KZbin, I love this community!

[@FunandBudget]

Thank you so much for sharing...my heart goes out to you. Im in the parking lot about to get my eyelashes done, now my eyes are all wet. I relate to this so much...i come from a community of Financial desperation...evictions...no food...lights turned off so much it becomes normal, not just for your family but an entire neighborhood. Thank you for your purpose...thank you for your mission...thank you for sharing your story.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Yes financial desperation is the exact phrase and I’ve seen what you are talking about. It’s so devastating but hope can be in short supply. Thank you for the comment and your mission and how you’ve inspired me with my channel. ❤️

[@michelehammond8095]

Thank you for sharing. I feel like a failure every time our account goes into the negative. Every time we don’t have money for milk because I rob Peter to pay Paul. Every time my kids say mommy I need this for school and I say it has to wait. When I see a light at the end of a tunnel, it closes so fast. Thank you for giving me hope.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Hi Michele, I didn't respond to your comment initially because it really hit me. I have felt all of that and it sucks but that isn't what your life will always be. You are learning and getting better every day even if it doesn't feel like it. Keep trying and finding what works and that light at the end of the tunnel will stay open longer and longer. You'll eventually find that it is a whole different way of life. You've got this!

[@michelehammond8095]

Pennies Not Perfection - A Merry Life, On A Budget Thank you so much for responding. You have helped me realize that I can do this. Even through some weeks will be harder than others, I will get through it. Please keep doing what you are doing.

[@TheNiftyNester]

I'm so sorry for your loss 💔 I lost my brother to suicide. Not for the same reasons but I think he also felt like he was dealing with something he couldn't get out of. You're so strong for facing these emotions head on and showing the world.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

The Nifty Nester I’m so sorry. It’s so common and that feeling of being trapped without a way out is devastating. Thank you for sharing this with me.

[@freddy-ip1pq]

my condolences 💐🙏😑

[@amandam6069]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Thanks for sharing your story , too many times we make mental health very taboo. I find all of my inspiration in channels like yours. I lost my brother in law to suicide years ago, and lost my brother 4 years ago, and it affects you every day. One of my big goals of getting out of debt is to be able to live the life they deserved to have. Keep doing what you're doing, don't let negative people take away your shine or your drive

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I'm sorry to hear that it has affected you too but we have very similar motivations. I promised I'd live the life she didn't get to and being debt free and loving my babies is a huge part of what she would have wanted. It's definitely a permanent solution to a problem that is temporary and can be solved. Thank you so much for sharing and watching. Much love to you my friend!

[@amandam6069]

@@PenniesNotPerfection Agree!! People always ask me why I'm so laid back and don't get bothered by much. But I've lost a lot of people in my life (my mom and dad passed away before I was even 20), So I def don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short! Thanks again for sharing your story and making those of us who feel your grief, feel not alone : )

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Totally understand that! I let a lot more go and don’t strive for perfection anymore becAuse I’ve learn through faith, therapy and experience that it’s not the point. Care about what matters and let the rest go.

[@DebtFreeDee]

*HUGS* My greatest condolences friend. Keep spreading your magnificent light. You're making a great impact 💕

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Debt Free Dee Thanks Dee. I appreciate you!!!

[@DebtFreeDee]

@@PenniesNotPerfection Same here 😊

[@PassiveIncomeTom]

Thank you for sharing this. You share a great message and purpose. Keep it up! 👍

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Passive Income Tom Thank you Tom. I so very much appreciate your support and everything I’ve learned from you here!

[@KrystalToddCPA]

Wow thank you so much for opening up about this. I’m so sorry about your loss. I’m thankful that you decided to share this because I am sure someone is feeling overwhelmed right now and needed this

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you, I certainly hope so. I really do believe if even one person benefits from this message then it was worth it.

[@NdiNaija]

Mary, I'm so so sorry about your sister. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a very powerful story. I got close to where your sister was several years ago when I went through a lot of losses in a short period of time and I had a lot of debts. Somehow I made it. There are no words to say how sorry I feel for the pain your sister experienced, and the pain you've experienced since she passed, but I'm just so sorry. Thank you for sharing your why. Thank you for sharing your journey. God bless you.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

NdiNaija I’m so sorry you were in that dark place too. I’m so glad you made it through and are able to share your experience. God bless you too my friend and thank you for sharing your strength and your story. ❤️❤️

[@mariacastillo3090]

Love your channel. You're brave. I'm 53 years old and I tell you that I've had severe depression and now live with anxiety and it's the worst feeling. No one could have helped your sister because it's an isolation feeling. If KZbin decides to demonetize you for sharing such an emotional raw and truth story then what are these channels all about? God bless.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you for saying that Maria. I know how you feel since I live with anxiety as well and likely always will. I catch myself trying to self isolate often due to it and force myself to get the help I need and reach out and have been blessed to have people in my life who reach out and check on my often. I pray I can do that for people too and even if it’s just videos and sharing.

[@GoWithLess]

Your "why" is so powerful. Thank you for sharing it. Within a few seconds, I was in tears.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you. I have many WHYs for this channel but this is by far the strongest and most important.

[@NGTire]

So I went away for awhile and came back to this 😭😭 I'm heartbroken for you and now realise your strength and resilience are even more inspiring. I've always suspected there was a very deep meaning behind your journey but nothing as devastating as this. Sending all the positive energy I possibly can 💕💕💕

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Oh man Sarah, sorry it's an emotional video upon return! I'm glad to finally share some of the reasons why debt and getting rid of it in all forms is so important to me. I know that opening up and talking about the despair debt can bring may help others who feel alone in that too. Thank you for the positive energy, I really appreciate it!

[@billynjoroge6034]

Debt can be really depressing. I've been in debt worth less than $10000, but in our local currency in Kenya. This has been revolving since 2017 and I can confess that so many times I have been suicidal - as recent as two weeks ago. I long for the day I'll be debt free. It gets exhausting day in day out just because of debt. Thanks for sharing the video.

[@monahmutembei5204]

Me too , I'm so feeling stuck 😭

[@Nickie-geeh]

I get you I am also in the same situation and to make the matter worse I only have a part time job that can barely pay my rent let alone food. Dealing with endless suicidal thoughts because of humiliation and judgement. But I am planning on going back to my parents home and see if I can use all my money to pay the dept and also get away from judgement and humiliation maybe you can trying something similar

[@janebaker4912]

Thank you for sharing your story. My dad suicided and I found him. His finances were a mess. He was in so much debt. This and my poor child hood and watching my mum struggle is why I do money stuff. I think you're doing a lot of good Mary and it will make me so happy to see you debt free

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Im so sorry to hear that Jane. I think a lot of us took control of our finances after seeing terrible situations like that. Thank you!

[@janebaker4912]

@@PenniesNotPerfection I want to say sorry for bring up politic before. It must have been very hard for you to make this video. Maybe I'm dissensitzed. Maybe I find being angry a lot easier than sad. I feel angry and hurt and that stuffs not fair -about my Dad's passing. Angry that he didn't come to me. Angry his ex gf black mailed him. Angry or more sad that he never met my husband or my baby. I think you're doing a great job as a mother and finance educator and ,again, I can't wait to see you debt free. Your sister must be very proud

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

@@janebaker4912 I totally understand. Anger is way easier and I've definitely felt plent of that. Thank you.

[@putnamdesign1072]

I’ve never thought of taking my life over debt BUT you have inspired me from the first of your videos I watched and I was so excited today to tell my husband that at the moment we have 120 dollars in saving and that at the end of the month it should grow to over 300 hundred dollars

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Yay!! That’s so awesome! Thank you for telling me that.

[@mybudgetjourney4873]

😭 I’m so sorry She’s your angel 😇 on this journey

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

She totally is!

[@freedominabudget]

I just want to give you the BIGGEST HUG right now!!!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I would so love that! Thank you Kelly.

[@brianneholmes6547]

Mary you are such a bright light! Keep spreading your message that mental health needs to be taken care of. Your videos provide hope to people you may never meet. Stay true to you and fall will work out.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Brianne Holmes Thank you so much! It’s definitely something I believe in and will continue to share. Thank you for the support. ❤️❤️

[@sweetteawhimsy3998]

I was watching this video while washing dishes and had to go sit down ... first and foremost, although I cannot comprehend the whole in your heart that only the Lord can fill ... I can imagine the loss of a loved one like you have experienced .... but it is real ... and we need to talk about it ... to think about it ... to love and hold each other and not judge anyone ... not anyone! It is important what you shared .... we all need to understand the emotional burden that debt carries .... the car dealership doesn’t explain that when we drive off the lot with a shiny new car!!!! Your mother and family must be so very proud of the legacy you are creating for your family and for the people that you will never even know you have helped. Your sister would be so very proud of you and hope you continue to find happiness joy and peace on this journey and in the days ahead. God bless and comfort you, your mother, and the text of your family. 💖Suzanne.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

So true and thank you! Honestly our faith and knowing Jesus helped tremendously, especially for my mom who suffered the most I think. It’s left a lasting impression on us all and while it totally hurts to think and talk about that feeling of overwhelm and despair, I’m finding a lot of others feel it too. Being open that it happens and doesn’t have to be a permanent trap gives me and the whole experience more meaning. Thank you for the comment and watching and the love.

[@auntyharry]

Thank you for sharing such a painful (but so relevant) back story! I appreciate your honesty, your bravery and your selflessness. God bless you and your family.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much Aunty Harry! It is painful to think about and share but it really is important to talk about these things. I appreciate your comment and blessing. Thank you for watching.

[@veronicam1726]

Thank you for sharing!! This whole debt thing that my husband and I have gotten ourselves into is so frustrating. I get down sometimes when I look at what we bring in compared to what we owe. I watch your channel and feel better about making mistakes with our money and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you again!! You are appreciated!!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I'm so sorry it gets you down but the good thing is that there are ways you can change the situation to change the outcome! Reduce expenses, find a side hustle, work more hours, etc. There is always something to try and a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for watching and being part of this community!

[@BobMinelli]

First, I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss. And in the way it happened, I really hope you found healing in this process. Secondly as a 56-year-old man I've been in and out and in and out and in again of debt. It can be wearisome, but this video indeed does help at least shed light on the fact that you're not alone and it can be done to get back into a normal way of feeling on this planet in a secure and comfortable way. In closing, simply thank you

[@AbundantlyMinimal]

Mary, you are inspiring so many people with your story and you journey! You are a light for others! Keep being amazing!!!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that Sarah. I really appreciate your encouragement!

[@Practice_Kindness-1st]

Hi Mary, I think it's is very cathartic to voice your feelings out loud. That is good for the soul. Mary, you're helping more people than you realize, and the fact that you show your vulnerability says so much about you, and that's not a weakness but an inner strength coming out to empower you. By speaking about your sister and what happened, it'll help others by see they're not alone. You have become one of my favorite KZbinrs because I see your reasons behind your determination to become debt-free and yours is a journey I want to celebrate! I'm sorry for your loss and feel your sister would be so proud of you at this very moment! Sending you a warm hug.

[@jspsbp]

thank you for making this video .its so important to talk about mental illness. the more we talk about it the less stigma there is. i have been in therapy since I was a teenager and will probably go for the rest of my life.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Definitely agree! I’m proud of people who go and openly talk about it. Nothing wrong with therapy at all and people go for a variety of reasons.

[@teresasaenz855]

So sorry for your loss. Life is not easy. You are an inspiration to all of us that a Merry life is possible. May God continue to bless you and comfort you.

[@kittyp979]

I wish I was there with you to give you the biggest hug. You are such an inspiration to all of us, thanks so much for sharing this. You’re so loved by all. 💗🙏🏻. Also This isn’t relevant but I love your curtains. 😃

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I love the curtains too lol! They are sheer and let in light and just make me happy. :) And thank you for your comment. I appreciate it and would love a hug!

[@MayavatiBanerjee]

Sometimes, i just come back to this when i feel like I'm not making much progress with my home savings, to remind myself how far we have all come ❤️

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

❤️❤️ I'm so proud of you and your progress!

[@ThePortalTheory]

It's 3am and I'm super depressed about my situation. I had seen her video so I needed a reminder to hang in there too. ❤

[@nanmammabarkley8891]

Thank you for sharing....you can do this , we all can. Thank you for helping me today!!!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Yes we all can! 100%!

[@gordonroxanne1294]

Mary Thank you for sharing this, it really helps. Debt is truly an anchor in our lives, weighing us down and keeping us in one spot.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

It really is an anchor. It weighs more heavily on some than others but either way it still drags on people.

[@sandrafromscotland]

Sweet Mary. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for your sister and your family. Having the courage to share your story is powerful on many levels. This has created a deeper understanding for me of your purpose here. I'm sure you will help many as you've already helped yourself. You've created a light in this community and I'm so glad you did because this is so important. I saw the thumbnail & teared up seeing you so upset. Sending love & hugs. May peace be with you in time. Thank you for sharing.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you Sandra! I am at peace with what happened because my sister no longer suffers and I found comfort in my faith and family. But ultimately sweeping that painful experience under the rug and never talking about it won't help anyone. I know debt and depression go hand in hand for a lot of people so I plan to keep talking about mental health along with financial health. Thank you for the support and being one of the most consistent and supportive people in this community as a whole. Your comments mean a lot to many of us.

[@sandrafromscotland]

@@PenniesNotPerfection I like your plan 😻 Thank you for your kind words.

[@MsDoglover02]

Thank you for being open and honest with your story and emotions. It's inspiring.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thanks Lynne. I appreciate your comment. Thank you for watching.

[@coopsahoy8563]

I recently found your video because I was looking for some sort of connection between debt and the feelings I’m feeling. I was so happy to hear you say my feelings are justified and that I’m not alone. Because my parents think the simple solution is to not spend any money. So I literally stopped eating, stopped spending money on food and entertainment. Now I just wake up, go to work, come home, do nothing, then go to bed. And I was wondering why I felt so sad because I know I’m saving money by having this lifestyle. But it’s getting to be so depressing and lonely. I told myself I should be happy with this lifestyle because in the long run, I’m saving money and will be able to get out of debt sooner, and I know that’s what my parents want, but they don’t understand why I’m unhappy with the good things I do have in life such as my new job. It was just hard to explain so this video really REALLY helped me feel heard and justified that this lifestyle IS hard and not fun. But I have hope and I will watch some of your budgeting guides so I can save money but still live a happy life. Thank you ❤

[@thewriteandpublishlab]

Thanks for sharing your story and your sister's story. I know what it can be like to feel crushed by the burdens of life and usually finances are at the center of that. Plugging into the Fincon community has been a blessing for me and even though I am still on that journey to financial freedom, I am gaining so many helpful tools that I know will get me there. Thanks again for sharing.

[@xDoubleJOx]

Thanks for your work. It's a blessing to my life and I am glade you are soo brave to share so much of your journey. I love the snowflakes, so encouraging! I love that you make so many short videos and it makes me think of staying on trake a lot. Also thanks for this video. There is so much strength in vulnerability.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I'm so glad to hear this!! I love sharing the little snowflake videos because I know that the little actions add up even in the face of a big obstacle. I'm so glad you've been encouraged. Thank you for this comment and for watching!

[@lisaberg9241]

Thank you for sharing you are just wonderful. KZbin needs more people like you. ❤️☺️

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that Lisa. I really appreciate this community I stumbled upon on KZbin.

[@bernadettekotelman6976]

I am so sorry for your loss. 😊 Thank you for being brave enough to expose your vulnerability in sharing your “Why” ❤️ Not an easy thing to do. I have been enjoying your channel for awhile now and I appreciate how authentic you are!!!!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you Bernadette. There are multiple reasons why talking about money on KZbin has been such a great journey for me and I definitely wanted to share this one as it was one of the most formative experiences in my life.

[@KateKaden]

Mary, thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are brave and powerful and you have helped so many by sharing this! Love ya!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you Kate, and thank you so much for the encouragement to post it. You are awesome and I love you!

[@retirement7219]

Hugs Mary. I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone’s life is a story...thank you for sharing.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

So true, we all have stories and hurts and wins too. Thank you for the hugs and for watching my channel and leaving comments. I appreciate you Anita!

[@ayela562]

I’ve watched your channel a long time but had never seen this video. It’s such an important conversation, especially now as our current economic climate is causing so much strain on people. Thank you for sharing this story, and I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m sure you’ve helped many people with this video.

[@chastineyburns2683]

i’m about halfway through, and I had to stop... I feel my anxiety building, and I feel like my breathing is getting shallower by the second.. God bless you! And i’ve never said this on here, but I LOVE YOU EEEEEVVVVEEENNNN MORE!!!!! Something you said towards the beginning - about being depressed and debt intertwining - it’s SOOO real. It’s currently where I am. I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety (twice), and with my 2nd our finances weren’t the best, so adding THAT stress on top of my depression and anxiety, I felt and sometimes still feel I barely have my head above water. I’ve actually been talking with my husband A LOT about starting my own channel about my experiences and also about budgeting. I absolutely LOVE watching you, and listening to you - you have a mother bear ora, and at times, you calm me, not even knowing who I am or where I came from lol. I absolutely love and adore you. Like I said, I had to stop watching (NOT being rude AT ALL) but PLEASE continue to keep doing what you’re doing. You’re helping more people than you know - and not with only budgeting 💕💜 Bless you ✨

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that. The postpartum stuff is soooo real and the way money was tight and I had to go back to work before I wanted to sent my mental health into a tailspin. But ultimately that got me into therapy and it’s been a good thing. I’m sorry you went through that too. I appreciate you watching and the love so much. Keep going, keep your head above water. You can totally make it better. And sharing your experiences might be a good thing! I’ve found it’s cathartic and helps me connect with my people, like you! ❤️❤️

[@PositiveChanges71]

I'm so grateful you are sharing your sister's story. We don't talk enough about mental health and depression. Thank you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

We definitely don't. I think it's definitely needed. I felt so bad for so long thinking something was wrong with just me, but these are very common problems. Once you start talking about it openly you realize lots of people have the same issues they are just scared to talk about it. I've really appreciate my church talking about it and starting a mental health ministry, they refer people out to local therapists and offer support people in the church that follow up. Stuff like that has made a big difference, just talking about it! Thank you so much for watching and commenting!

[@PositiveChanges71]

@@PenniesNotPerfection I suffered from PPD, often times doubting my ability as a mom, which spiraled into other areas of life, being a wife, money, replarionships. Regardless of the trigger, depression is depression. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband, supportive family and church family, as well as caring coworkers who let me vent and lend an ear. When I took control of our budget and got out of credit card debt so much light of hope shown ahead. Now our kids are preteens and teenagers and the burden of money is so much easier to handle.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

This is very similar to what I went through with all of my postpartum mental health issues that came to a crisis point. I’m so glad you had al that support and are doing well. This makes me happy.

[@samanthalacoste5353]

Thank you for having the courage to share this. Your videos definitely keep me on track with my goals and help me to remember I can take control of my financial situation. Keep doing your thing! ❤️

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I'm so glad to hear that! Thank you for sharing this.

[@markos1491]

I am incredibly proud of you for being courageous enough to tackle a topic like this. The work you are doing is precious. I'm deeply saddened by your sister's passing.

[@JazzedatHome]

Thank you for creating this and I'm so sorry that you lost your sister, because of her depression and other struggles around her debt. I've been in a similar position to your sister, in terms of feeling like things were too immense of a burden and I was never going to be able to heal my body, let alone deal with the mountain of debt that I'd accrued. For a long time after that, I just focused on surviving and getting myself into a more stable position. I at least have housing, now, that's not dependent on my trashed credit, though I am heavily reliant on the government. I'm not sure how stable things are, right now (are they ever?), because I'm disabled (but not quite enough to qualify for disability), and I don't have a steady source of income, yet. But, I'm feeling called to face my debt and it is scary AF. I searched for something like "fear and shame around debt" and your video came up. Thank you for overcoming your own fears, in order to make this. I'm sorry that you've dealt with some backlash. You are so brave in putting it out there, like this, and I honor your courage in doing so. Blessings!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you. You can definitely overcome something like debt because you've clearly done harder things!

[@TheBudgetBounce]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Mary. It's so important to talk about both of these topics. And you did a great job of touching on both. Your sister would be so proud of all of the great things you're doing with your own finances. And I can tell you that your videos have helped me tremendously, especially early on in our journey. I'm sure that I am one of MANY others who have experienced the same. 💜💜💜

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that!

[@raulgolfs]

Wow Mary, major props to you sharing this! A lot of people go through the stress and anxiety that debt brings including me. But losing a love one is a whole other level I can’t imagine to understand what you’re going through. Love the realness and appreciate ya! Keep speaking your truth! 🙌🏽. Documenting your journey will show people they to can get out of debt and motivate themselves to get up and do it! 👍🏽

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you RJ! That means a lot to me!

[@tinatravis]

Thank you for sharing! Thank you for being brave! You are inspiring me to be a better person.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that Tina. I strive every day to be better as well. I constantly fail but I am lucky to be a believer who receives grace and gets to try again. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

[@moonyan285]

Thanks for sharing this to us. I wish you know I learn alot from your videos and help me alot in my budgeting.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you for saying that.

[@user-up3no1rk8r]

Thank you so much for this Video. I needed this more than you know. My depression & fear of my debt is crippling at times. Thank you

[@coinslider]

Thank you for sharing. I admire the way you do your videos.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot especially since I feel I'm naturally more of a writer. Thanks for watching my videos!

[@Arvabelle]

Thank you for sharing this Mary. This is why I love this community - if we can impact even one person it has the potential to change the course of their life. And I have a feeling this video will touch many people!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Yess! This community is amazing!

[@stephanielitz5102]

Super proud of you for sharing! God bless you and your family. ❤️

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you Stephanie!

[@MadisonBriggsArtchick]

You are amazing and courageous and brave and I’m so so glad you shared your story. I’m very sorry that your sister passed. I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t have any way to get out of the debt you’re in.

[@samanthacoutts8602]

Thank you for sharing. Sending you all the hugs I can for the UK. X

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I will accept those hugs! I hope to visit your part of the world eventually! :)

[@allthingsalecia]

❤️ we love you Mary! This was such a needed video and will bless someone’s life! Praying for you and your family. Love your story and your videos! You definitely motivate people and we appreciate each and every video! Keep sharing your story and lessons learned!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Winning with the Smith’s Thank you so much! ❤️ I prayed about this a lot and finally realized that my discomfort and fear wasn’t supposed to stop me from sharing because maybe just that one person needs to hear this.

[@MyBeautifulLife]

Thank you Mary ! Your channel helped me a lot! Depression is a sneaky thing and money problem can be so hard.....

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I'm so thrilled to hear that. Depression is sneaky and insidious and convinces people of things that aren't reality. Like my therapist says about anxiety, "it's fake news about yourself". Depression can tell people they are failures, or can never get out, but it isn't true.

[@vitiligogirl1037]

Awww!!! Sending hugs 🤗 and kisses 😘 your way.. I’m so sorry for your loss😞

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you! Hugs!

[@jenniferpierce8778]

Your strength, honesty and openness are a wonderful gift that you can share with the world , and you do that beautifully

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much Jennifer. I really appreciate you saying that. It means a lot to me.

[@hilarybudgets5602]

Thank you for sharing this. This topic is something that we're need to talk about more. I love your videos, I love your perspective, I love your imperfect journey, and I love you. Thank you for motivating me to do more for my debt free journey.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Hilary Struck I was doing good not crying this morning until your comment. Thank you. I love you too.

[@joannek5910]

Hi Mary, I recently started watching your videos along with dozens others on money management and investing, budgeting etc. I've struggled with debt for 7 years and have felt like I was never going to be one of those people who had 10 or 20 or 50K in the bank, Ever! I've hid so much from friends and especially family and been so ashamed that my husband and I made poor choices and rotted away our 20s in anxiety, depression and debt. I love your channel, you're wonderful and honest, approachable and relatable. I never watch a video of yours and feel worse, always better about my situation knowing it can and will get better. During this quarantine alone we have paid of 10K! I feel for your loss and I've very sorry for that. You are making a difference, lots of love 💘 from NY

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much. That’s truly the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. You’re changing your life and you will be debt free with 50k in the bank. You’ve got this.

[@rhondarobinson8935]

Thank you for sharing yours and your sister’s story . I wish more people would have the courage to share all there financial struggles like you did. Thanks you again.

[@mr.matt5minutesoffinance785]

Mary,, your sister’s legacy will continue to have a positive impact because of the work you are doing. Stay strong and continue the journey.

[@sandratirado447]

Thank you for sharing this important story. You’re doing a good thing by talking about it. And what you share on your channel helps so many people.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that Sandra!

[@janfromnycsavesmoney8723]

I love your philosophy! Bless your channel and you!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much Jan! I appreciate you!

[@thearbitrarylife]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ this!! I suffer from depression for other reasons but debt doesn’t help it. I watch your channel and a few others to keep me motivated that debt isn’t going to end me.

[@livingmybelovedlife8447]

Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry your family went through that. My aunt took her own life when I was a teen, but she will always be a part of our conversations. Sending love.

[@hannekelesage898]

Thank you very very much for sharing your story! I struggle with health issues and every day I'm so thankfull to live in a country with good public health care! Otherwise I would live homeless on the street... 🇧🇪🇧🇪🇧🇪

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Hanneke I'm so glad you have that where you live! It's a struggle for many and obviously does land people in a lot of bad situations from death to life on the streets. Good public health care - and mental health care - is very important to all of us.

[@AdventuresandUs]

Wow, yeah I can't imagine how you feel. You are very brave for sharing this. I understand having depression though and feeling like an anchor on people and just the flow of life in general..there is no explanation for it, but it just happens..sorry again

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Definitely just happens for some people and honestly no one wants to have depression in their lives. Thanks for watching and being an awesome part of the community!

[@tricepruitt7265]

Ohhh my goodness my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm a financial planner and I see the most destructive thing around money is NOT talking about it. This is what causes so much fear, and isolation, and makes people feel that they can't get out. You are making the world a better place. You are help taking away the fear and the stigma around money. I believe something as simple as talking about it, makes it all better.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much. You are 100% right. People keep it bottled up along with all the negative feelings and it makes everything feel so much worse. I know that sharing about it helps people feel less alone especially after sharing this video and all the messages I've gotten. Just admitting how scary and messy it can be helps take a little of the burden off.

[@singlegirlbudgets53]

I am so sorry for your loss! I appreciate you sharing to show just how much money can affect lives. You are amazing Mary and I’m so thankful for your videos

[@TheKekester500]

You are so helpful!!!! God is using you to help others figure it out. Thanks for showing us your flaws and showing us how to find the exit. This channel is going to help thousands if not millions of people you watch!

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you so much for saying that and for being such a constant support and great friend to me. I think of this video like how I felt nervous when you found my channel... but it's turned into such an amazing thing and so will this. God 100% brought us together and you are a blessing in my life girl! Love you!!!

[@TheKekester500]

@@PenniesNotPerfection awwllll!!! Love you too!!! Definitely an answered prayer to keep me going!

[@DebtFreeMillennials]

love love love this video!!! Thank you for opening up. You are helping so many. Sending hugs!

[@sharischmidt184]

Thanks for sharing your story😢 keep doing what you’re doing! Love your channel🥰

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

thank you so much Shari!

[@user-ug1mz1mv3h]

You are a good person. You give me hope and I bet I’m not the only one. Thank you for what you’ve done here. The love is real, my friend.

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

I appreciate that. Much love and strength to you friend!

[@thehelpfulentrepreneur1148]

So sorry for your loss Mary but keep your videos coming! They really helps others get out of debt and to also let them know they are not alone in the process! 👍

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Will do! thank you for the encouragement.

[@thehelpfulentrepreneur1148]

@@PenniesNotPerfection Anytime! 👍

[@forensic2010mnr]

Thank you so much for sharing this story. I believe that this will help at least one person, and probably more. Thank you. 💕

[@PenniesNotPerfection]

Thank you Meghan.

[@SharonTseung]

Wow. I’m so sorry that happened. It was really brave of you for sharing. Thanks for doing what you’re doing - it is amazing. You’re inspiring me and tons of people out there ❤️

[@altaneri6980]

Thank you for sharing. First ignore the noise. God has given you the ability to help others. He has you and He is helping you get out of debt. Look at tge positive when you are depressed. We are always learning no matter one's age. Seek to help others and not to know everything b/c we are always learning and doing what God wants you to do. I've filed bankruptcy a few years ago due to a car accident, but I'm on a cash basis now. I see it as a blessing. You've got this! Never look back.

[@niltomega2978]

Sorry for all you woes. I was once in debt for 19k back in 2000. We slowly came out of it and when we did we were far wiser as you will be. Hang in there. !!!