when emotions control your perspective

[@gilliangunther7334]

I really love the vulnerability and authenticity of these earlier videos❤️ (INFP)

[@ruthjeffery2539]

Try living with a menstrual cycle. It does train you to recognize when you're being affected by something that alters your emotions. The hormones are out of your control, but your reactions aren't. It teaches self awareness and self control. I find that you can extend that to other aspects of life, it's useful.

[@retrogradepink]

so true!

[@carlymestep9001]

@Ruth Jeffery YES!

[@ItsMeNanaD71]

Ruth Jeffery I agree. Just wait till menopause hits!

[@exile3119]

@@ItsMeNanaD71 thats where I'm at now. Menopause is a drag. It is makes me apathetic and I find I have a very low tolerance for people and their BS.

[@auroraborealis6398]

I never had that. I don't know why

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I love your honesty, it's so refreshing. Things will work out 🌿

[@FrankJames]

thanks :)

[@TwoBlackRings]

Home is in your heart. Moving countries has taught me that.

[@jennpod2378]

Me too 😊

[@retrogradepink]

"you have to keep breaking your heart until it opens" -rumi

[@FrankJames]

oh dang

[@MsBettyRubble]

I love Rumi. He's the best. But I've had my heart broken too often. So... I'm conflicted with that saying.

[@eljaykayaye1186]

@@MsBettyRubble it's just a saying. Those guys sitting on the mountain with a beard pontificating and throwing out those zingers pithy saying. Inside they're going "gotcha"! 🃏🔥☄⚡

[@NikkiDocherty74]

My heart was broken 8 years ago. I can't figure out who or what could break it (again...ugh) or who could come into it. I feel my heart is open but I don't see much truth out there anywhere yet. Why oh why is there so much bs? I can't let the bullshit in. So here I stand. Sigh.

[@laaqueel]

This heart break you all talk about, did it come from being broken up with or breaking up with someone? The reason I ask is because the heartbreak of breaking up with someone is often overlooked, you can hardly find anything about it anywhere. From what I have understood about your (FJ) past relationships and from your last few videos seams to me you might be more scared of hurting and feeling the hurt of an other person again then of getting hurt your self, although that is much the same for an INFJ. I think this is an interesting topic no one ever talks about, how to deal with hurting someone and what consequences does it leave on a person.

[@MariaG-xh9il]

Eyy i am psychologist, Highly sensitive person and Infj 😊i had too the euphoria thing when i was younger. Now i think is because our intensity (as hsp and infj) can be out of control if we do not learn how to handle it properly and it goes in the two extremes ( euphoria/depresion).

[@snicolek6590]

OMG, I always have the same fears about not trusting myself and my emotions changing 😢 Especially my relationship with my husband. It really does scare me. I realize now that they are just so temporary and I'll be back to reality shortly.

[@M1ntt806]

Isn't there a term for this called bipolar disorder xD

[@lucyk2634]

@@M1ntt806 exactly what I thought lol. They need to research more about psychology and mental stuff

[@neobliviscaris3346]

@@M1ntt806 With bipolar disorder euphoria/depression is usually over a longer period of time like days/weeks or even months. Feelings of an infj can change fairly quickly, like you're feeling euphoric for an hour or something and later feeling tired/depressed for a while. But your mood is also stable for a certain peroid of time in between where you can see things more clearly.

[@penneyburgess5431]

I had serious issues. I am also very serious minded. I don’t do casual. If it’s not real and authentic, it just doesn’t work. It took me a long time to work out the issues from my childhood before I could even get to date #2. For me it took a disastrous relationship that completely blew up my life to come to the realization that I had to be willing to be wrong, be hurt and give up what I believed was lost before anything ever started. I had to find someone who was worth that risk. I did. I gave myself six months to just be happy with someone. It was terrifying. Being happy isn’t my usual state of mind. C.S. Lewis said “To love, is to throw away all defensive armor. To love is to be vulnerable.” You can’t be in control of how you feel, you can control what you do. Trust yourself. If think you need counseling, do it. Every person gets to a point in their life when they are willing to do what it takes to share their life with someone. For some, it’s so easy. For others (like us) it takes a lot more. What you do is up to you. If you really want this, you can do it. It is alright if you choose not to, as well. Only you can determine what makes you happy.

[@scottbower6446]

Yesterday I came to this Analogy thinking about why it is I get so upset when people try to 'solve me': Emotions are like children, they need to be acknowledged & validated but not to the point you let them command you because if you do that they eventually become spoiled and start acting out. Leading with Fi sucks hard -_-

[@colettejones3977]

Therapy for sure FJ it really helped me, it's worth a try. Relationships are scary but being invulnerable with that one person who wants to be with you when you're moody and realises you're worth the effort is an amazing feeling. It took me a while to find my 'one' and I had to kiss a few frogs on the journey but it was so worth it💖

[@livingdiystyle]

#AskFJ What do you think it would feel like to be loyally married to the same person for 20+ years? I am an ISFP married to an ENTP for 21 years and have 2 kids, a dog, a lizard, tons of plants, a home in New Mexico and my mother-in-law just moved in with us. So there’s an external look at our life. Over 21 years, the emotions have shifted and changed, our relationship has shifted and changed. When we got married, we both went into it with the idea that divorce was not an option, to death do us part was how we really felt. While there have been some really tough times, divorce was never part of the conversation. So while it feels completely different than our first few years of marriage, all along knowing neither one of us would abandon the other has built a great deal of loyalty and trust over the years. Just thought I’d share.

[@jennpod2378]

I'm INFJ and my husband is ENFJ. Like you, we've been married 21 years (together 23). Emotions do go up and down and relationships do change over time indeed. It isn't always rosie and perfect. And like you, we agreed early on divorce was never an option (having come from a painful divorce in my family as a child and my husband had been sent to boarding school at the age of 8 and only ever dreamed of having his own family one day). It does help that we chose to make that boundary there which helps when issues do arise.

[@sdafergu]

I think when I was younger I was definitely more into divorce not being an option. I've never been married myself, but I've seen enough friends in relationships going through divorce that I'm not so sure anymore. What if one person really wants to do something and the other person doesn't? Can you compromise without being resentful?

[@jennpod2378]

+Sarah Ferguson any relationship takes work and I would be lying to you if I said I never experienced resentment in my marriage (and my husband has too). It takes compromise. And sometimes it takes agreeing to disagree. It depends on what the issue is as well. If it is a vacation location, that is a lot easier to compromise on than say whether or not to have children. I am American and my husband is British and we had issues about which country to live in -- not such an issue now, but it took 10 years to resolve fully. A smaller more recent issue is my need to go out with my girl friends now that my children are older and I have more freedom. My husband can resent that I am not spending my free time with him as often, and I have to explain that women need time for venting and shopping and eating with other women. So, different issues come up at different times and you just have to work through them the best you can.

[@livingdiystyle]

@@sdafergu I believe it's incredibly important to make sure you BOTH know beforehand what you can and cannot live without before ever committing to marriage. The need to have or not have children, where to live, pets or no pets, religious needs, etc.... needs to be a crystal clear conversation between both people before marriage, because living a life full of resentment isn't healthy or helpful to anyone. At the same time, like @Jenn Pod23 said, needs change over time and the need for compromise and being uncomfortable at times is inevitable. It is a sacrifice to not always get what we want, but honestly, in my opinion and from my experience over the past 21 years of marriage, true love and sacrifice go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other. Selfishness is part of everyone's default, but the more both husband and wife yield to each other's needs, the better things are. Just make sure to find someone with that same mindset, that's hard to find, but very important. 3 qualities you might look for are- humility, maturity, and spirituality. Throughout our marriage, feeling accountable to a higher power, in our case God, I believe has been a huge part of our success. I wish you all the best:)

[@Margaret75]

Dude I believe you create your own destiny. I fully understand I did the same after being in a relationship with a full on narcissist who tried to kill me, I was too frightened for about 8 years to even consider a relationship. Thank you for doing this I so love it!!!! I love your honesty and humor!!!

[@trishtv8310]

Me and you have alot in common.

[@barbyoungberg]

"Don't let your emotions hijack you!" Great advice Frank! Too often I have been a victim of my emotions and right now it's really hard because we are packing up & moving the end of the month. I hate the chaos of not being able to find things or the panic of how to keep track of this important thing. And yes, I do have days of unexplained euphoria. It's usually connected to having alone time after intense people time.

[@youtubing9762]

Regardless of who, how and when you meet someone, there's always a risk of heartbreak in relationships, but don't close off. Vulnerability is tantamount to existence in ALL things. Do it smartly, but DO IT nonetheless. Do it wholeheartedly! Do it to the degree that you feel worthy of being loved! You might not feel worthy yet, but just go in totally bare and real in a gradual peeling sense. Each layer you show a bit more. But go in knowing that each layer you show, you're giving trust and also getting it back. Love is vulnerability in its BIGGEST sense. Love is scary, love hurts sometimes, and we can live carefully as much as we like in romance, but only the bravest of us see the best of love. BE brave! Stride forward confidently, even though you don't know where it will lead, get your confidence and bravery from the knowledge that in every single moment you're being the most authentic you and living fruitfully, no matter what,for you are only here this once. And at the end of all things in your life, do you want to say you lived your best life or you held back and cowered in the shadows.

[@reneefries1894]

Thank you for this!!!

[@dohadoha2272]

omg Frank this is so me I mean the contradictions of emotional states and all that, it happens to all of us, we can't change it and people in our lives must understand it, but it feels kinda relaxing when u know that other people experience the same inside pain that u feel :D I'm very glad I found ur channel

[@angelaricks5379]

Freedom = Work + Bravery

[@thehideaway3522]

I am an INTJ female. The unicorn. I found this channel because my mom and sister are INFJ's, and there are one of the few types I can easily relate too. I look at your videos and I faced with a frustration...let me see if I can accurately describe.... I find it so attractive that you speak your mind. You are a man, clearly, and it is a rare thing to hear male feelings and emotions, which is probably why many ladies dig you. And you are easy on the eyes as well. You invite us into your head and bedroom which I really love. The part that leaves me feeling frustrated...oh how I long for someone to be able to understand me and me to understand them. It must give a sense of satisfaction to be understood and validated in the comments you receive. But you are on You Tube for crying out loud. I can never meet you and have this conversation, and neither can most of the people who view it. The intimacy isn't authentic to me, and that's the part that makes me not want to watch anymore. I seek real human companionship. My life is so fulfilled in every single department, but my relationships suffer infinitely, and my well being because of it. I dream of a situation where I can know someone well, and they can know me well. But alas, this is yet another example of being virtual. There is no advantage to me in having a virtual friend. It's like going to a bar and the bartender is nice to you, so you call them your friend, but in reality, they are just giving good customer service. I commend your customer service. You give a great You Tube channel. But how do we achieve this shit in real life? I would love to know. I am asking for too much, humans...

[@Margaret75]

I have felt euphoric when I have fully let go of trying to analyze or control things which is extremely if not impossible for me to do lol

[@dorothygibbons9491]

Your videos resonate with me so much. You're so articulate and precise with how you speak. It really helps me understand what I can't otherwise. Plus I mainly watch for Timmy.

[@FrankJames]

lol I mainly make videos for Timmy

[@jackiesmith2536]

The way you described leaving home as sad and feeling a bit of grief is so true. I’ve lived away from home since the age of 20 and I’ve never actually felt at home unless I go back home and visit my parents. However hopefully you have better luck than me and make your new place feel homey.

[@batjon1963]

The older I've gotten, the more I've come to realize the extent to which our brain chemistry affects our moods and perceptions. I take Tylenol 3s for back pain, and about 20 minutes after ingestion I feel a shot of joy that lasts for about 15 minutes or so. If I was grumpy, cranky, or depressed before, it all vanishes, and I perceive everything through the lens of that brief codeine high, and it's just lovely. The point is, and I think this is part of what you're saying, is that it's important to stay cognizant at all times of this fact of life, so that when we're perceiving everything negatively we understand that it's got a lot to do with our current brain chemistry and therefore it will pass. We can't get stuck in the negativity if we remember that a more positive state of mind will eventually come. Like you, I have to stress that I'm not advocating drug use; my experiences with codeine just happen to work well here to make a larger point. As always, I relate SO MUCH to what you've discussed here. Good luck with your move. Here's my question for your Q&A video: You've mentioned that some people in your life have found your KZbin channel. Has this caused you any embarrassment? Does this make you guard what you say in a way you didn't before? Does your current girlfriend watch your videos? #askFJ

[@Emilia-nz5ug]

Hi Frank! I discovered you this morning, and have watched 8 of your videos so far. It is so nice to know that there are like-minded individuals out there. (INFJ) I love your channel! 😊

[@DaniShafran]

"The only obsession everyone wants: 'love'. People think that in falling in love they make themselves whole? The Platonic union of souls? I think otherwise. I think you're whole before you begin. And the love fractures you. You're whole, and then you're cracked open." -Philip Roth

[@tawnielucasmusic]

You can always go back and visit your parents. I like to go see my parents once a week, it's nice to visit, and that home/comfort feeling is always there when you need it.

[@zarahilluminate]

Can you do a video about the experience of INFJ women (you're not female but maybe with research and some assumptions you may be able to helpfully contribute) vs INFJ men?

[@FrankJames]

that's an interesting idea

[@beccapeterson8434]

Yasssss!

[@kekelottas]

This sounds like a podcast idea

[@DakotaMcKenzieArt]

I think talking about feelings is so important to us INFJ'S(and now I think I am one, vs an INFT) but at some point feelings just need to be felt. And that's what we talk "around"because talking and thinking feels safer. I wonder if we are actually really amazingly powerful feelers when we allow ourselves to be and we are often afraid of that power. The fear of emotion comes from stopping feeling rather than allowing the flow. I have felt peaceful euphoria for days when I've had a lot of time alone and away from others problems. I think that means it is an always available natural state. Peace and good feeling can be cultivated by learning to cultivate your thoughts. Your brain is YOUR brain. You choose what to think.

[@Angelicaarchangelica]

I never had any of those emotional symptoms or oscillations, I am very stable, steady and constant, meaning that I only get angry when someone mistreated me or ripped me off or betrayed me, and I get happy when I see the people I love or when something good happens or when it is a special occasion. However, listening to what you say made me remember the power of subliminal messages

[@hopeinhumanity.]

I think for an infj, acceptance therapy and talk therapist would be most effective. We psycho-analyze ourselves enough as it is so we almost need a therapist that has the capability to open our mind to possibilities and ways of seeing things that we haven’t yet unlocked ourselves. And someone we can vent to.

[@brittanys8217]

❤️ Kid, you're gonna kill it out there eventually. It takes times but you'll figure out your emotions because you obviously take responsibility for yourself and move past victim thinking. I wish you all the best in life Frankie Frank. #askfj what is true success to you?

[@DestinyGuerra]

I think that’s the problem with dating (at least for me). I can’t wrap my head around how casual dating works, so any potential person immediately goes through the filter of “could I marry you and make a life with you and risk divorce, death, and all the sad things?”. 😳 I’m sure that unhealthy mindset is keeping one of my feet out the door, dooming any relationship from the start, but I don’t see how another approach works. “Hi, new person, I have no idea where this is going, but you look cool and attractive also please don’t break my heart” ?. 🙅🏻‍♀️🤢 On the flip side, all this time being single has given me a chance to get to know and better predict how emotions tend to control my perspective. Hoping that sets me up better for when the (probably fictional) “right” person comes along. 😬 #askfj How many plays have you written/had produced? When are you going to write another one? #askfj (maybe I’ve missed this in previous videos) Are you a child of divorce? Or are your parents still married? Do you think this has effected your view/approach on relationships? #askfj How many hairstyles have you had in your life? 🙃 #chameleon

[@FrankJames]

yeah nothing better to make you feel like a psycho than thinking 30 years down the road within the first ten minutes of a first date xD

[@Margaret75]

Destiny Guerra I completely understand your dating issue. I never understood the casual dating thing either! I think with me it started with me trying to not get hurt but then turned into not wanting to waste my time with someone who wasn’t someone I would hold dear.

[@davidkepke1435]

Exactly. Don’t think anyone will save you, and conversely don’t think you will save someone else either. Find someone willing to give, as well as someone who is willing to receive: compliments, criticisms, advice, and love. And someone who can admit when they are wrong.

[@NikkiDocherty74]

I love getting to know people and getting an understanding of personalities. If I meet an attractive and interesting man who shows serious interest as well, I always think about how we would get along together as friends or as a couple (unless that person, or if I myself am already in a relationship, of course, and that was quite awhile back for me). I always consider if they seen to be a commitment type who has long term potential (possible marriage). I think it's normal for those of us not interested in flings or hook ups to think along those lines. I won't rush relationships and I do think friendship is the best foundation even in romantic relationships. I think considering and then discussing what you want and need in a relationship is something you should do after several dates and it becomes clear that something is happening. Compatibility and chemistry are important too. I think your thoughts are normal. On a different note, several years ago some VERY young guys were sent to catfish me on messenger. Complete strangers associated with my hater. I let them know in uncertain terms that I was marriage minded. A great way to "kill" the some catfishing! Lol!

[@kristi94]

Phew. I am not alone in this😂😂!!!

[@mjnoon3609]

#AskFJ What are your thoughts on marriage ?

[@alexaubr]

‘The world seems like such a bleak place. Even though at breakfast it seemed great’ Spot on, spooot on.

[@aaronlim7324]

Frank, I completely understand the desire to unchain the power our emotions have over us. In my humble opinion, we should deal with the causes of our insecurities head on to enable us to move forward with the incremental reduction of such burdens. At the same time, let's not go overbored and overanalyse every time we feel down. A code which I found refreshing to live by is this: To only do and believe that which moves me towards my goals (credit to Tom Bilyeu). We are all in this together my friend. Thank you for your vulnerability with every video.

[@iamsoohappy]

Your self analysis is spot on. My emotional/mental experiences have been almost identical to yours. I agree, we allow emotions to contradict the reality of what is really happening. I feel the emotional body is a layer of oneself that needs to be penetrated in order to access the ‘middle way..’ haha. I have experienced days of euphoria that seems to come out of nowhere. I have days where I am awake and navigating through the world in a dreamlike state. I do not do drugs or drink alcohol, so riddle me that. Haha. You are spot on...about remedying the situation. Mastery of oneself is the key. Totally off subject, came across a term cognitive bias. It’s interesting, look it up if you feel so inclined. 🤩

[@kimbakotschi]

I just love listening to the way you explain things. I don't find many people who have the same sort of perspective (or are willing to outwardly talk about it) so I just find it nice in a way. I'm so busy looking at videos with advice from people who don't think the way I do at all and I'm pretty open minded to listening to them, but this is like getting advice from myself practically but with a slightly different perspective.

[@Christine.Baraka]

#askfj How do you fight against the INFJ information gap when starting a new relationship? Like, we want to know everything about a new person as fast as possible, and constantly fear that thing we don’t know about, waiting to destroy the relationship. I’m in my first long-term relationship and that’s been my biggest struggle.

[@FrankJames]

wow that might be a subject for a whole video

[@jennpod2378]

That is the main conflict in the INFJ novel I am writing, so would love to hear everyone's experiences.

[@Margaret75]

Wow thanks I never knew why I did that

[@Margaret75]

Jenn Pod23 I think I am like that because in a relationship I think my power to know might be somewhat clouded by infatuation.

[@melbeth79]

That's fascinating for me to know because I'm not an INFJ but an INFP. So, what you's fear is kind of like an invisible hand in the relationship killing things while feeling simultaneously blindsided? Just attempting to understand.

[@mashupotato7065]

i'm an infj too and i feel like you talk about exactly what i feel. Entirely. Like, i saw myself talking, telling all my feelings and what's bothering my mind. It's just exactly the same. Now i think maybe it's just how INFJs dealing with situations

[@jamlaw]

I like these vulnerable one on one vids the most.

[@shaimaadoma]

How can I relate so much to what you're saying?! Thank you for opening up like this and making us feel less crazy, as we're trying to cope with this world our own way! And yes, I've had a "euphoric" phase before, when I used to cry of happiness for no reason. Or maybe there were things I could be grateful for, but not to this extent, or at least not that much more than usual. It felt so good and yet felt unreal, and at some point, I started fearing it would end, like the smallest mood swing predicted a harsh fall into the abyss. I remember also a few times when I felt numb for a couple of days, unable to cry and unable to feel grateful or happy about my life. It's like you said. It seems like many of these emotions come from nowhere and do not serve their purpose of guiding me through life. They just "are" and I have to deal with them, be grateful for positive ones and patient until negative ones pass.

[@sofial6769]

Hi, Frank. I admire how you are making some difficult, yet beneficial, changes in your life to develop yourself. I think you have already taken some huge steps in self-improvement and growth by truly seeing yourself for the person you are. We all have things we can improve about ourselves, and objectively seeing those things is an essential step for genuine growth in each of our lives. If we don’t see ourselves as we appear in the light, how can we escape our darkness? That may seem a little intense, but I hope that makes sense. Regarding not letting emotions completely control your life, I believe the best way to keep a consistent perspective without extreme and destructive influence from emotions is to remain grounded in self-awareness and maintain an honest, objective outlook. Honestly, this is not an easy task and I am not great at it myself. However, I have found that genuinely acknowledging my flaws and seeing my behaviors and thought processes objectively during the time they occur has had a massive influence. It has positively affected my normal thought pattern by grounding me and reminding me that the thoughts and things I’m experiencing cannot and will not hold me back. They are times where I can learn something about myself, and eventually leave knowing I can use the experience to my benefit. That’s why I believe that you are already making a huge step in your life by looking at yourself from both bad and good sides and taking some action to help yourself. I think that the methods we use to find moments of euphoria and peace differs from person to person, however, I think the concept of being genuine with one’s self and truly making the effort to “get out of that funk” remains. I have found that bettering my health such as drinking enough water (yes, it sounds silly, but it has worked) and staying away from unhealthy, processed foods, has helped calm down my emotions because my body is not in distress. Although it seems unbelievable, one’s health can have impacts on his or her life in ways that I don’t think he or she could realize (it has for me). All these things take effort and practice, so this is more of a journey rather than an easy 10 step plan. Hopefully that helped a bit. I’m no guidance counselor or wizard, but I have gone through similar experiences of having an ever-changing life perspective due to overwhelming emotions. Learning to be a friend to myself has helped me maintain my inner peace. I wish you the best of luck in finding the method that works for you! I also wish you luck in moving into your apartment safely and happily! I also have a couple of questions! ↓ #askfj How is your novel going? I recall you saying that you finished the first draft and now you are revising it. If you don’t mind, I would love to hear a synopsis of it. Will you be publishing it in the near future? I (and I’m certain many of the other cool and attractive people) would love to read it one day ^-^

[@micheller.5235]

I (Sean) wrote a historical romance novel set back in ole England when William of Orange was king, and resolved what is now called.. the bloodless revolution...

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Yes, we can only ever save ourselves. We can help each other, but it comes down to us.

[@deah5790]

Ha, my apartment was available March 22, my move in date was April 14, and I didn't actually move in until May 1. So, don't beat your self up. You're in good shape.

[@FrankJames]

ha ha oh man that puts things into perspective

[@juliecosgrove2339]

Me too, you just described me and it’s really scarey, relieving, can relate to a lot of what you have said. And there are new things you have made me aware off, thank you.

[@donnawoodward3163]

Hey FJ this is from the future, 3/21 I've been so down and depressed, anxious..crap I hate it so much. It's nothing new it comes and goes, especially when I've had a lot of physical pain which has been the case. Anyhow I came upon this 2 year old video and honestly it is somewhat comforting to hear you share. I agree it is totally a frightening thing being human. Being in a relationship and another couple of layers to that fear and complexity. I'm grateful you are so transparent, it's so helpful especially, I would imagine, to those of us who struggle in a similar way. Your content is very different and you seem very different in 2020/2021 which is how long I've "known" you. Will you share what has contributed to this personal and professional change? Have you transformed somehow or gotten in control of these mercurial emotions we have or is it meds or meditation or some spiritual experience you are tapping into?? I'm looking for answers since always for myself and that's why I'm being so personal. But I realize you are likely never going to see this. So anyway 💗✌️

[@zeina4344]

Hey Frank, cool subject! It has been my experience, knowledge, and from what I've gathered from the experience of others that thoughts precede emotions. The human mind is not just the conscious one and thoughts may stem from the subconscious mind without any conscious awareness of it. This is usually the case when one feels an emotion but doesn't know why it's triggered. It happens usually when a situation occurs to the person rather than thinking consciously about something (because it's obvious here what the thought was). For example: A few days ago, I was relaxed and all is well, my sister gets a phone call and she wanted to get out of what the other person wanted from her she ended up saying I was still sleeping and she can't leave. Now, on the surface there's nothing horrible there but I got upset. I could feel my emotions changing. It took me till the afternoon to reflect on the situation. What upset me was a subconscious thought, her actions got perceived by my mind as she's saying something negative about me, putting me in a bad light unnecessarily. I think feelings are a signal about the state of thoughts, positive or negative. They surpass the blockages or defensive mechanisms to inform us about the state of our minds. Yes, drugs do affect the emotions because they affect the state of the mind, blocking some parts or opening others. Psychedelics are known to block the ego and open the subconscious. Even if there's a hormonal change in the body, a situation happens which is perceived or thought of in a certain way then the emotional reaction. I have felt euphoric for days and not because of a drug lol, but because I saw my life changing into something positive after being in an imbalanced state for so long after depression. The feeling then leveled out, but I was just relaxed and calm rather than euphoric. That's my two cents. Best regards! Zee

[@rowanfortress]

I like how casual this video feels. Thanks for the great points and the humor. Love the humor.

[@kimberlynorato135]

When I like someone and it’s not reciprocated after performing an extremely painful round of mental and emotional gymnastics I pull away from them completely and my emotions shut off like I never knew them. It’s the only way I know how to cope.

[@PamOliveiraTarot]

The worst thing we can say to an infj but don't think too much, specially when relates to love, you have recovered from heartbreaks before so, you can survive this, just enjoy the experience. Life is beautiful when we love, the beatles already said that😊

[@diatomshells]

Patience has taught me as a lesson to change my perception when things don’t go my way, but fuck if it doesn’t take constant work. I try to use memory as a way to control my emotions when they start to become overwhelming. To remember a feeling in its most purest form and do an emotion swap within myself. Acknowledge the emotion then you can change it. If I succeed, which may not always be the case, I try again and again. All I can conclude is it takes practice just like anything else. For me personally, add another person in the mix and the variables just doubled, especially when you can feel the psychic baggage of others. Adaptation. I love this quote by Marcus Aurelius because it’s exactly how I see it and he says it better than I ever could, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

[@franceswilson-kelly2779]

You’re not looking for someone to fix you it’s not a cold play... I believe you’ve wanted someone who can try to understand. Understand where you’ve been, why you wouldn’t want repeats if at all possible of past regrets, someone who understands that there maybe moments for regrouping the processes in our heads. I don’t know about you, sometimes I just need someone who can be with me without words, that there is just a presence that is needed. A knowing. A respect. Heck just the fact of having someone that you can totally be who you need to be at any given moment. Our lives are not a constant and we are ever changing for the part we have been assigned, sucks some days, I love it on days where my part is fun loving and all is good in the world and then the next day, week, month or year I’m dealing with insurance companies, lawyers, psychos from the outside/other side (which you have to limit your daily dose) ... life throws you slow pitches, fast pitches, curves balls and even some crazy angle-in-the-out-field kind twists that blow your f* mind... and it can be overwhelming if two people can’t find their way to handle and manage those details. Strengths and weaknesses. Finding what helps each other breathe through. Finding ways to celebrate even the tinniest victorious steps. When your worlds meet will you be diversified enough blend without losing your own identity and accepting enough not to lose theirs identity in the mix... is there too great a fear too not try It scares me to think so I have definitely hit my biblical mid point in life and comparatively speaking I have learned more in the past few years (or it seems that way) or maybe I am just now seeing a bigger picture than I saw compared to when I was a quarter of the way.... I was chatting in the department store with a lovely lady, though our faiths were labeled completely different we knew the same leaders as these people were from my background it was wonderful to share I just wish I was better with names. 🙃. I’m rambling. How’d I get on this trail?

[@LordOfTheWhores]

I've taught myself to let go of fear, the anxiety still shows up but I try to stop and think what is causing it and I tell myself it's not that bad so I shouldn't really take it to seriously. Emotions certainly aren't a bad thing but they can be difficult to deal with but in they can be rather rewarding where you overcome something you believed was a difficult challenge. In my opinion if you are feeling nervous about moving out you should just jump in and realize it's not as scary as you think (I've been there). When I was feeling down I took Alan Watts (a long with Jung I've found him fascinating) advise and just observed my thoughts and realized that I shouldn't let thoughts like that influence me so much.

[@paulbaker3465]

Buy yourself a plant 🌱 and all will be fab

[@eljaykayaye1186]

Get a lucky bamboo. Get a money plant. Plants can clean the air in your new place. I just forgot the name of a plant and I never forget plant names!. Oh, someone told me,peace lily, they have little white flowers and clean the air.

[@jaiamarie3314]

Thanks for being vulnerable enough to share this.

[@jennahalcarz891]

Hi FJ! I’m an INFP... as far as I know anyways. I’m constantly questioning the validity and objectivity of my thoughts and feelings. 11:15-12:00 is something I’ve experienced for a LONG time and it honestly is so relieving to hear someone explain it so clearly. Thanks for your content, it makes me feel like I’m not alone and that I’m understood, and that is all I could ever hope for! Thank you again & I hope you’re staying safe and doing well 😎

[@carlyj4383]

Frank, I've got to admit it's getting better. It's a little better all the time. What I'm trying to say is, it can't get no worse. It's so good to see you and hear you. You are truly a one-off and you just can't get content like this anywhere else. I was sitting on the floor when I was 20 years old and packing my clothes because I was moving into my first apartment because I was getting married and all I could feel was sorrow and Mourning. Like you, I just knew that I would never be able to come back again and have the same feeling again. I was the first one to leave the house and part of me didn't want to. prepositional ending to sentence. Check ... I did have times of euphoria that were extremely rare and in that short time I thought I had it all. Nothing was hurting or making me anxious and then it was gone. I felt as though during that special time that my soul had just told a secret that was wonderful and that's where the joy was coming from. And then it was gone. along with the secret . You have an awful lot on your plate right now. You feel like you're losing something precious without any promises that what you're going to get in return will even compare. Frank, many times I've been alone. And, many times I've cried. I only had my heart broken once and then I stood on the fence with one foot on either side for a couple of years. When I finally jumped over onto one side I can't say that I felt relieved. It's only human to look back and so I had to keep telling myself that I must always move forward. Anyway, youll never know the many ways I've tried....but still, I understand what you're saying about how your mood can change. In the last few days I have been exceptionally stressed out and have gone through being numb and a second later feeling deeply depressed as if my heart fell into my stomach and then two minutes later I felt terrified. And then I was wishing I could go back to numb. I can't explain why my brain doesn't know how to work. Sometimes I feel jealous of people who have normal brains and don't have to go through roller coasters every day of their lives and then I remember that after all of these years, I never left myself and so I wouldn't want to be anyone else. Whenever I started a new relationship, I automatically would start looking for what I called the Fatal flaw. I just knew that one day that person was going to do something to me or say something so against my strongest held beliefs that I would just have to say enough. Well, I've been on one side of the fence for 12 years now and since I never want to have a broken heart ever again I am going to stay in it and work on it like it is the best Beatles song ever written. We missed you Frank and I don't think you understand how much or even why. Hell, I don't even know why. Something important and special and comforting was missing and that was you. Please know that you have rounded up an amazing group of people that you can say anything to and never shock any of us. You know, we are all that same type hybrid serious pineapples AKA hsps. And then we have that infj thing going for us. I would like to admit that most of my comments have always included a great big hashtag keep talking until I know everything, Frank James. I'm not a natural optimist but I an empathetic person. I've had more years than you to figure this out and I have used every neuron in my brain, studied big thick books and spent the equivalent of 3 years of my life trying to figure this all out. My best advice is not to turn your back on the One and I mean the only One that knows you. Call him JC like my son does but talk to him. That will be the only constant that you will ever find in your life. The fact that you are known and He is waiting to hear from you and if you doubt that he loves you just look at a crucifix and know that he did that for you. Anyways, Thanks for stopping by, JC. It's 6:45 a.m. and I haven't even gone to sleep yet. I have a lot on my mind. I'll let you know if I figure out the answer. Sincerely, CJ. This has been one heck of a stream of consciousness. I'm glad you have the kind of brain that can take this in.👀.

[@FrankJames]

oh man, yes, the Fatal Flaw... I am always looking for it too

[@carlyj4383]

@@FrankJames Frank, try this time to be excited for her company and be yourself because if you are working too hard to be your best you'll just end up exhausted and truthfully, she may miss out on what makes you so you. I care.

[@jennpod2378]

Yes!! That is like what I experienced- a weight was lifted, no anxiety- like a secret. And then it was gone and I don't know how to get it back.

[@carlyj4383]

@@jennpod2378 Jenn, I always think of it as a few minutes in heaven. And, if that's what forever is going to feel then It pushes me to be here now.

[@carlyj4383]

Frank, maybe you're a man, a lonely man whose just in the middle of something you really don't understand yet. You will tho. I bet Sir PM had a panic attack.once.🐢 See how good I am at hiding my feelings? You can't even tell I wanna jump off near a bridge. Can't go on the bridge...fear of heights, you know. #If things get too heavy, see you by the bridge. CJ

[@lifesuuucks]

Man, I relate to so much of your content. Some of us are so fickle and it’s hard to gauge what’s true. I struggle with this often but yeah, mostly when I’m in a relationship. Okay here are my questions!: -[In reference to the ‘Piecing Together Your Personality’ video] What people/characteristics do you try to emulate? -When will you tell us about your book? What it’s about, when we can buy it, etc -When will I get to ride the Frank James train? (Sounds dirty, but I don’t mean it like that! But I do mean, when the freak can I date you?) -How do you deal with anger? -Have you ever heard of Neutral Milk Hotel? I feel like you would like their song ‘In the Aeroplane Over the Sea’. Listen to the words if you don’t like the sound! Hahah -Can you play more guitar for us? -Will you ever tell us the details of this “side gig”? -What are these insecurities/struggles you deal with when you’re in a relationship? Is it jealousy? I feel like it is, but maybe I’m just projecting..? That’s all I have for now :) I hope you answer some of them, if not all! #askfj ♥

[@wildrabbit1314]

I’m a foot out kind of person, and I’m married... but maybe the trick is to find someone whose‘demons’ play well with yours. My husband is strange, he seems to get off on the challenge of being with a protective woman. Bizarre but so far it seems to work.

[@beccapeterson8434]

What does foot out mean? 😀

[@rachelcleaveland9088]

I'm assuming she saying she's a "foot out the door" type of person?

[@ReneeGreen4]

Hey FJ, I’m a new subscriber and I’ve been binge watching your videos the past couple days. Not talking about this video specifically, but in many videos you are so hard on yourself and come across as having low self esteem. Just wanted to say you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re a very likable person and have a lot of interesting things to say. I love your videos! You should be very proud of your videos and more confident in yourself!! Xoxo

[@purpledaydreamer9682]

Oh man I love the way your brain works. And the way you express your thoughts, I could listen to you for hours

[@xXRubella666Xx]

I did once feel really great for a couple days when I was in China with medication for bronchitis in system. I also sometimes feel great if I'm going through a good period with my yoga & meditation. Also, I totally relate to all this new stuff that's coming up to the surface with your relationship. Someone I've had a crush on for a while asked me out and I said no for a very good reason but also because he makes me really insecure about things I never used to feel that bad about. But it's good because I finally have strong motivation to work on those things and fix them.

[@trishtv8310]

0Am I right when I say that you are more comfy talking to us because we have a choice and can tune you out if we choose whereas a person in person may feel trapped and listen to you out of politeness while feeling annoyed inside which is a fear of yours.....that is how my Infj ness manifests itself in such situations.

[@eleven864]

Oh Frank! I've realised how I don't 'like' things, just to get that out there. I should be liking all you do because I love all you do. It's a feckin' weird thing, but you tend to post certain issues that are coming up in my life at that same time. This one was too much to hold back from. I recently started going to therapy. When I'm without a lover I don't feel.... the feelings. Those insecurity ones. I'm fairly committed at the auld mo.. and it all, regardless of him, is becoming too much. But goddarnit it (the relationship) helps.. hurts.. whatever. This is one of those videos you've made I need to come back to a lot (many of them). Thank you for your odd, far away, disconnected (connected) friendship. All the best with all of those endeavours! The double-feelings are real! But once you know it's time, at least, you can do it. Or something like that. Much love and thanks!

[@crazytigerman19]

Emotions are a guide telling us what and where feels right to us as individuals. We use logic to process the information we get from emotions, but neither are flawless. People take the same information and reach different conclusions. For the INFJ, the Ni-Ti loop makes us doubt the logic of the world vs how we understand it. And the Fe-Se loop tells us we are going in a positive direction based on personal emotional feedback. Put simply: logic is important, but not as important as emotion. Emotion is our fuel source; logic just processes it into energy so we can move forward in life. The only time logic trumps emotion is if it negative emotion, because that stuff drives us to crash and burn.

[@MissElleEm]

Gosh. 6min in and I couldn't watch til the end before posting... 1. Moving out of home at 30 and having such deep emotions about leaving and all the sentimental value attached is such a privileged space to be. A) it speaks to the wholesome community your family is. B) it speaks to your parents allowing you to stay there as long as they did. It seems quite rare, but maybe Aussie culture is different? Ie people move out in their teens/early 20s here. 2. Good on you for getting some counselling. Though it's years later, it's Men's Health Week and every year I'm advocating for men to open up, to seek help and to shed any toxic masculinity that was inadvertently (or absolutely) thrust upon them. Good on you for going there AND for talking about it as an example to your community! Ok. 7min. Come at me.

[@vivmadly]

Two type Timmy is just my fave. It reminds me of how intense & deep yet light hearted, funny, and silly we can be. It’s a juxtaposition that I like about myself and yet the reason why I’m often misunderstood and why people are surprised by me

[@youtubing9762]

#askFJ What do you fear the most about being accepted and loved by someone wholly? And why do you think that fear is stopping you/slowing you down from some things? Very personal I know, and possibly it may put your defenses up, but I think you get why I'm asking, because I feel like in the asking of this the rawness that it brings up will possibly make you feel more confidence in yourself and in going forward in love. Because to be confident is to be aware of what stops/slows you down and knowing how to press on through or go around such an obstacle. I hope this question isn't offensive.

[@FrankJames]

not at all Mark, I appreciate the question and will answer it in the Q&A :) thanks, buddy

[@micheller.5235]

Fear of abandonment & rejection, betrayal & lies, hurt & pain, guilt & shame, along with dozens more reasons why my relationships failed badly... Everytime one starts a new relationship, before either can move forward, both need to heal each other 1st...Both need to share in the relationship 50/50... Lastly, never force someone into explaining themselves, it is always best to let one feel right discussing difficult & painful things in their life... But, letting someone share the recesses of the heart always draws both closer to the other... To delve deep would take 50,000 words before tears pop up.

[@linsemertens3732]

I feel like emotions are a language that we need to respect, but the problem is that we always tend to linger on them way longer then we should and get stuck in a story we keep repeating to ourselves, thereby rationalizing the emotion. For me the best way to deal with them is to acknowledged they're there by trying to feel in the body in stead of getting caught in thought. Reality is such a weird thing to explore but I think that to really perceive it we need to learn how to be very still and not get distracted. In order to do that I feel that certain forms of therapy will help to get rid of the old emotions you've been dragging since probably childhood. If you free yourself of the cage that is emotion you'll perceive reality more clearly. From then on it's just practice.

[@samchapman7513]

You express the combobulations of the mind so eloquently Frank 🧡 Maybe those days of euphoria are our natural state of being outside of the mind Of course the mind doesn’t understand it because the mind is the mechanism by which it understands life But beyond understanding, there is just life, if you know what I mean 🐝

[@looslaura1]

Recently escaped prisoner, not looking for pain but completely reserved that she will feel that pain...if she dares to feel anything at all, she welcomes this with any and all other emotions. Accepting that all emotions are healthy and none should be held in contempt or resented or feared. Realist, troublemaker here

[@marisol3827]

I've often had a vague hope, that I couldn't define, that I would find someone who could be in a romantic relationship with me and "save me." Save me from something that I couldn't define, either. But I finally realized, after watching this video, that I just wanted to feel love and security. I guess I thought that a romantic relationship could provide so much love and security, that I would not feel anxious or depressed anymore. Good relationships of all kinds provide the blessings of love and security. But now, I know I need to heed common wisdom and find those blessings without depending on anyone else.

[@funournour9585]

I relate so much to everything you said Especially the mood swings and random euphoria

[@hanoramicview9054]

"Just look at the Romans." 😂😎 #true *Also...Feelings are meant to be indicators. I was told that by a therapist. Personally, I have learned to some extent to apply that to my spiritual growth and that is a lot like peeling an onion. *Everything that surfaces emotionally, is something intended to be a catalyst for your healing. *And it's also about balance. Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual alignment...that's how you keep steady while you heal. It is a lot. But I happen to believe that soul growth is why we were born to this existence. It helps me...so I pass it along. * And another thing lol: I hope you get moved into your apartment soon..living in that in between state and trying to balance a romantic relationship and family obligation and a huge life change is a breeding ground for this sort of emotional tension. It can trigger a lot of anxiety. *Also (sorry this is a lot) Vulnerability, humility, forgiveness, and truth. Meditating on these can be a great starting point for unearthing the intimacy issues that are surfacing. Remember - all forgiveness is really self forgiveness. Other people hurt us but I think we tend to to beat ourselves up about it and if we don't address that, it tends to warp the way we function in relationships. Not saying others won't hurt us but we tend to carry that baggage around unaware of it and we project and dissect things we otherwise wouldn't... then enters self fulfilling prophecy because we create the very things we are on some level afraid to deal with.

[@The-Portland-Daily-Blink]

Its interesting that you were 29 when you left home. That is actually something commendable that your parents supported you to that age. I was 17 when I left home and 24 when I had my own place and 25 and 26 when I got married and had a child, quite a few years ago. Its commendable that your parents were always so supportive, it is so rare.

[@pinky1494]

I totally feel you with the new relationships making things rise to the surface. I'm married, but in a poly situation, and there's this new person I'm kind of seeing. All of a sudden, so many insecurities came out, and I'm working through them. It's rough. I guess I've been on autopilot for so long, and haven't had to worry about the approval of someone else (don't have to worry about it with my husband). I wish you the best with your new person

[@하치-x2k]

As I was watching your video, I remembered someone, this guy from my university who was my first boyfriend there. Now I figure that he was an intense introvert, but didn’t know it then. I was an extreme extravert, we always had intense arguments, and at the end I said to him “I give up.” And him who were always so tepid and bleak was suddenly so desperate saying “pls don’t give up on me.” I felt that was so weird, it was so not like him, and so unappropriate, because he was saying it like a kid asking his mom to forgive him... Just reminded me of him and all the way I couldn’t understand him(we met after graduation a few times by accident, even after 10yrs right before I got married), and now by watching your videos, I kind of get what kind of person he was, and why we didn’t work out.

[@asia6283]

thank you for your honest description on how much emotions can affect an everyday life. I just discoverd that I am intj and my take on emotions is quite unpopular. Now I am trying to understand how emotions work for others and I am very suprised that they may take such an important part for others. It must be really hard to deal with all of them for all the time for you :c

[@retrogradepink]

also- have you ever seen the PBS mini series "The Brain with David Eagleman"? it's very good! my personal coping mechanism when confronted with the absurdity of being human is just to think about how we're all just brains, doing brain things, various chemicals reacting to other chemicals. loved the beauty haul at the end! i have a real weakness for nice smelling things, which i guess is probably that Se acting up. if you're a big CO Bigelow fan you may want to check out the original store in NYC, which is apparently the oldest apothecary in america. i mean, assuming you haven't been there already.

[@Margaret75]

retrogradepink thanks I’m going to check out that show myself! I really like smells too and will pay way too much on candles and soaps my fam thinks I’m nuts. There is a lotion that I’m using right now that is peppermint and sage, so refreshing!

[@eljaykayaye1186]

FJ should do a video using the products like when Lavendaire shows her beauty routines. I love those kinds of products.

[@retrogradepink]

@@Margaret75 oh good! it's a nice overview on various topics. and yes, soaps and candles are my downfall as well. i've cut back a lot, but i do like to windowshop, telling sales assistants i'm just there to smell all the things. ;-)

[@retrogradepink]

@@eljaykayaye1186 watching others talk about products they like is such a fascinating phenomenon, like the height of nosiness ("what's in your bag" kind of videos). humans are so funny. :-)

[@Kate98755]

there's grief because you're entering a new phase, if you are not able to learn to embrace the phases of life, you'll get stuck in a phase. changes make you grow, if you didn't leave your parents would also miss the opportunity for growth,

[@OriolesPhillies]

I know this video is old but when you said "you are keeping one foot out of [a relationship], so as when things start to scrumble or at the first sign of danger, you can just shoot out of there', it reminded me of someone I was close to. It's funny that after watching many of your videos, you are a lot like him although he acts very differently. He acts gregarious, bubbly, and you wouldn't think he is an introvert at first. After spending some time with him, and seeing him around his other friends, I could tell that he really didn't know what to do with a large group of people. His pressured speech kind of sounded like he was panicked or paranoid. There have been some strange inconsistencies in him that I couldn't describe well for a long time. We spent a lot of time together, taking a couple of road trips, going to places by ourselves, and he would invite me to his family gatherings. He never called me a girlfriend. He never wanted to make a commitment, telling me that he wouldn't like a situation where he cannot get out of it when he wants to. Every time we had a big fight, he would try to cut me off, telling me it was his fault. Then he came around, and we broke off after a big fight. We repeated this a few times. Like every time something happens, he decided that it wouldn't work out and it was magically his fault. I'm sure I've done something to contribute to these 'break-off's' but everything had to be his fault. I wonder, though, if he was secretly waiting for the moment to break off with me, maybe subconsciously, because he wanted to get out because he believed this was destined to be a failure, and as soon as I was unhappy, he would use the 'chance' to run away. I think it is really over this time, and I'm a bit relieved, to be honest. I'm an INFJ and think I'm an empath, too - I couldn't feel very comfortable with his inconsistencies. I just feel so sad that they seemed like his way of surviving something and I hate to say that I'm relieved that I'm free from them. It feels so heartless.

[@twiggz463]

Literally just went through this and shortly after found your channel ❤️ Nice to realize i am not alone in the insanity I can create for myself sometimes

[@OriginalXfyre]

Women have always amazed me... So full of life, warmth surrounds them, and they do bring out uncomfortable emotions that we try to hide. A woman makes life happen... and I dont think they even know it... I tend to be drawn to the wilder sided women. My lack of arguing drives them insane.

[@SimplyBeautifull]

#AskFJ - Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? - Why do you think some extroverts hate or misunderstand infjs so much? - Have you ever been bullied? - Can you tell us about your daydreams? Are they beautiful and comforting?

[@narcsinart7179]

i experienced the extended euphoria twice: for two days in my 30s when i was starving (p.s. i often say "food is a drug" bc it's true.. in this case the food was my own muscle tissue.) The other time was pretty much all the time in high school.. I felt like I loved everybody all the time, several adults were sure i was on drugs ( but all the kids knew better and made fun of me for being straight-laced) and in fact, my senior portrait shows my clearly huge pupils. (it's the love.) Come to think of it, I was very skinny in high school and always complaining of hunger. On your nother topic, dextromethorphan is bad stuff. people who tend to have allergies can go into shock from it like my daughter did. I felt so bad for buying it and telling her to try it. (for her cough! there are people who use it recreationally but i didn't know it at the time.)

[@greatsm2videl]

Fellow INFJ here..Why is this literally like my exact thoughts out loud? And it’s actually what I’ve been thinking about the past few days. Recently moved to a big city from a small town a few months ago plus I’m dealing with relationship stuff as well, and it’s so annoying how my emotions fluctuate, especially in conflict (I’m talking to an INFP). We’ll have a good conversation and everything is right with the world and we’ll have a conflict and I’ll be distressed and troubled and tempted to run away like this is all the relationship consists of. Something another INFJ friend said to me was that as he matured, he’s had to learn not to define people or his relationships with them by the emotions of the moment (just because you’re having a bad day or conversation doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is bad). It’s extremely hard, when our emotions are so powerful and you don’t know how to settle them and make them go away. It doesn’t help that past relationships have left scars and trust issues (lying leaves a huge scar, like you said in another video). You start to see the new person through the painful lens of the old person, through your past hurt, projecting the ghost of that past person onto the new person. Then you get fearful and paranoid, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or wondering if how you’re perceiving things is really real, or how much you’re actually just infatuated with them and wearing the rose-colored glasses and not seeing things objectively. It’s so hard to tell until you can see it in hindsight. Your other video helped me a lot to just put a sort of name to this fear-the fear of missing information, fear that one little piece (or a bunch) of info will be dropped on you and destroy everything, or worse-be hidden on purpose through a lie. Anyways, I’m rambling. But it’s like you’re the male brain version of me..not sure if that’s disturbing or delightful..depends on the day. But it helps to know I’m not alone in the way my mind works..head in the clouds, full of abstract ramblings, deep thoughts, weirdness, overanalyzing, unique observations, non-sequiturs, dry humor... That was a weird and long winded compliment but hopefully that made sense.

[@jess3452]

I haven’t had it in a while, but I used to have those euphoric episodes for a couple days at a time when I was otherwise really really depressed and anxious for months/years at a time. You might wanna look into hypomania/hypomanic episodes depending on the severity. When i had them it really felt like i had no idea what depression was like anymore, how i could ever feel depressed again after experiencing it, i couldnt even fathom what was wrong because every single problem or fear i had was just..gone and out of my conscious and subconscious mind. I was incredibly driven and focused and it was like i wanted to fix anything, believed i could fix anything or do anything without a doubt, and yet there was nothing to fix and it was just the best feeling in the world. But even then i knew the feelings weren’t gonna last and that things would eventually go back down to normal (not a psychologist but ive had a lot of experience with mental health-you might have heard of manic episodes like with bipolar disorder but those are different from hypomanic episodes bc manic episodes are usually a lot more disconnected from reality/show a lack of self-awareness, and typically last longer from what i know. But again im not a licensed professional by any means)

[@poppystils974]

Yes. A good read: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature.

[@observationstation8040]

You couldn't have uploaded this at a better time, thank you.

[@lori939393]

#Ask FJ What is your birth date? What is your real name? Are you named after anyone? Does your name make any interesting anagrams? If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Where are you from? Where were you born? Where did you grow up? Who did you look up to growing up? What are your best characteristics? What are your favorite things about yourself? Which of your parents are you closest to? Which of your parents are you more like? Are your grandparents still married? What relative was important to you growing up & why? What is one thing that you’ve never revealed to your parents? What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? What do you call your grandparents? What is your best physical feature? What is your biggest accomplishment? What is your biggest fear? What is your biggest regret? What is your eye color? What inspires you? What is the most important thing in your life? What has required the most courage of you in your life so far? Who is your favorite actor? Who is your favorite actress? Who is your favorite celebrity? Who is your favorite musician? Who’s your favorite person in the world? What is your favorite childhood memory? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite cultural activity? What is your favorite drink? What is your favorite fairytale? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite holiday destination? What is your favorite ice-cream flavor? What is your favorite music genre? What is your favorite physical activity? What is your favorite quote? What is your favorite snack? What is your favorite song? What is your favorite sport? What is your favorite time of the day? What is your favorite type of clothing? What is your favorite way to pass time? What is the name of your favorite restaurant? What is your all-time favorite town or city? Why? What is your favorite candle scent? What is your favorite social media channel? Where’s your favorite place to take an out-of-town guest? What was your favorite subject in High School? What was your least favorite subject in High School? What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? What do you love about your favorite TV Show? Are you scared of heights? Are you high maintenance? Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others? Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on? Are you a dog person or cat person? Are you a fan of any sports team? Are you a good cook? Are you an early adopter or late-adopter? If you had more courage what would you do differently in your life now? What is good about how you are living your life right now? If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be? Who has left the most impact on your life? What aspect of your life needs tremendous improvement? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in your life? Who is the best teacher you’ve ever had? Who is the biggest pack rat you know? Who is the first person you call when something exciting happens? Who is the first person you call when something horrible happens? Who is the worst boss you’ve ever had? Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? Can you do a split? Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Can you whistle? Can you dance? Do you remember your dreams? Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? Do you sing in the shower? Do you sleep with the lights on or off? Do you spell the color as grey or gray? Do you take any pills or medication daily? Do you prefer kissing or cuddling? Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Do you have a catchphrase? Do you have a garden? Do you have a hidden dream that you’ve never shared with anyone? Do you have a tattoo? Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? Do you have any allergies? Do you have any birthmarks? If so, where? Do you have pets? Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? Do you carry a donor card? Do you have a best friend, if so, then who? Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? Do you believe in love at first sight? Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? Who sent the last text message you received? Who was the last person you ate dinner with? Who was your first Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Who was your first Celebrity crush? Who was your first friend in college? Who would you tell first if you found a dead body in your garden? What is your idea of special time together? What is your most embarrassing moment? What is your most used swear word? What is your star sign? What is something that amazes you? What is an ideal first date for you? What is at the top of your bucket list? What is something you look for in a partner? What is the name of your first pet? What scares you about aging? How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? How far away from your birthplace do you live now? How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? How many Boyfriends/Girlfriends have you had? How many countries have you been to? How many oceans have you swum in? How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? How many relationships have you been in? How many rings before you answer the phone? How many tattoos do you have? How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Would you ever consider living abroad? How many days could you last in solitary confinement? Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? Have you ever suffered a fracture? Have you ever dated two people at a time? Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Have you ever ridden on a motorbike? Have you ever taken self-defense lessons? Have you ever visited a country outside your continent? Have you ever won a trophy or an award? What was it for? Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Which one is your favorite? At what age did you go on your first date? After a breakup, would you rather be alone or be surrounded by friends? What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? What flavor of tea do you enjoy? What is a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone? What is one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why? What is the first amusement park you’ve been to? What is the last compliment you got? What is the most boring movie you’ve watched? What is the scariest movie you’ve watched? What is the worst grade you got on a test? What is your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them? What is the farthest-away place you’ve been? What is under your bed? What is on the walls of the room you are in? What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up? What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will? Where do you buy your jeans? Where were you on Valentine’s Day? Where would you want to retire to? What is something you are gifted at? What is something you wish you were gifted at doing? What is the best compliment you have ever received? What is the first movie you remember seeing? What is the first thing you do when you get home? What is the furthest you’ve ever been from home? What is the one item you can’t leave home without? What do you like about your home? What do you love about living in your neighborhood? If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do? Are you a morning person or a night owl? What time do you usually get up in the morning? What time is your usual bed time? What is the first thing you do when you open your eyes in the morning? What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? What is the first app you check when you wake up in the morning? Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? What is the first time you were allowed to put on make-up? What is the first book you remember reading? What kind of books do you like to read? What is the last book you read? What book are you reading at the moment? What are books on your shelf that are begging to be read? What book do you remember as being important to you? What is the last film you saw? What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? What is the last thing you watched on TV? What is the strangest thing you believed as a child? What is the thing you change the TV channel with? What kind of car do you drive? What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? What medical conditions do you have? What piece of technology can you not live without? What position do you sleep in? What religion will you raise your children to practice? What was the best news you ever received? What was the first concert you ever attended? What was the first tattoo you got? What was the last thing you bought? What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savored? What was the name of your first pet? What was your first cooking experience? What was your first ever cell phone? What word do you use to address a group of people? Guys? Folks? Or any other word? What would you name your daughter if you had one?

[@lori939393]

What would you name your son if you had one? What is your strongest sense? If you had to give up one of your senses, which would it be? What do you dislike about living in your neighborhood? What drains your energy? What is the best part of your job? What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life? Do you love your job? What is the hardest part of your job? What was your first job? If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be? If you had time to do volunteer work, what would you do? What takes the biggest chunk of your paycheck? Are you satisfied with how you spend your money? What would you change? How do you replenish your energy? What about religion has changed for you as you’ve aged? What artistic endeavors have you tried & decided you were bad at? What current world events are really troubling to you? What dreams have you given up on as unrealistic? What has been the hardest thing for you to face or learn? What is hard about being a parent? What is hard about not being a parent? What is one of the worse things that could happen to you? What is something that scares you that you would never ever try? What is something you’ve never done that you’d like to try? What is the most difficult thing you’ve done for love? What is the pettiest thing you’ve done to prove a point? What app do you use most? How often do you skip breakfast? Did your mother go to college? Describe yourself in a single sentence? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your fashion sense? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your driving skills? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, rate your cooking skills? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, how good a kisser are you? One thing you know now that you wish you had known as a kid? When making an entrance into a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost? Which animals scare you most? Why? What are some of your bad habits? What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new? What color is your bedroom carpet? What did you do for your last birthday? What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? What did you want to be when you grew up? What do you call carbonated drink called? What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? What do you consider unforgivable? What do you do for a living? Is there any item you collect? Are you a hoarder? Do you know how to pump your own gas? Do you love dancing? Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? What is the longest period you’ve spent in a hospital? Most ridiculous thing you’ve had to visit the hospital for? What is something most people don’t know about you? To what extent do you trust people? What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive? What do you do most when you are bored? What do you find yourself always procrastinating? What do you think about more than anything else? What do you think about the most? Is your father bald? What makes you proud of your father? What makes you proud of your mother? What makes you sad about your Dad’s life & unmet dreams? What makes you sad about your Mother’s life & unmet dreams? What makes you wince about how you are like your Father? What makes you wince about how you are like your Mother? How are you different from your Dad? How are you different from your Mother? How are you glad that you are like your Dad? How are you glad that you are like your Mother? What messages or myths about sex did you believe growing up? When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long-term result? Are you close to anyone now that you initially disliked? What non-profit do you believe in supporting? What piece of art did you see that you’ve never forgotten? What pipe dreams do you have that you wish could come true? How does music matter to you? What type of music you dislike most? If you had 1 year left to live, what would you do for you? If you had a day left to live and you could spend it with anyone you choose, who would it be? If you inherited $100,000 right now, how would you spend it? If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be? If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be? If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be? If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one? If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people? If you have a nickname, what is it? If you could choose only one, would you rather go to Paris or London? If you could live forever, would you rather stay one age forever or get older? If you could pick one, would you rather have infinite money or unending love? If you could save just one, would you rather save Humanity or the Earth? When did you suffer your first heartbreak? When was the first time you were on a plane? When was the last time you cried? When was the last time you got in a fist fight? When was the last time you pushed yourself to your physical limits? How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? Is anyone in your family in the army? Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? Which came first the chicken or the egg? Why? Pick one, a comedy movie or a horror movie? Pick one, cats or dogs? Pick one, chatting or phone call? Pick one, cheat or be cheated on? Pick one, chicken or beef? Pick one, Coke or Pepsi? Pick one, exceptional strength or intelligence Pick one, forgiveness or vengeance? Pick one, free health care or free education? Pick one, Halloween or Valentine’s Day Pick one, IOS or Android? Pick one, kill or be killed? Pick one, meat or fish? Pick one, monopoly or chess? Pick one, Nike or Adidas? Pick one, Pepsi or Coca-Cola? Pick one, stripes or Polka dot? Pick one, summer or winter? Pick one, texting or phone calls? Pick one, vanilla or chocolate? Would you rather go bungee jumping or skydiving? Would you rather always be overdressed or always be underdressed? Would you rather be a genius or be wealthy? Would you rather be a hammer or a nail? Would you rather be a lonely genius or an idiot with a lot of friends? Would you rather be able to play 10 different instruments beautifully or speak 10 different languages fluently? Would you rather deal with a crying baby or a saucy and spoilt child? Would you rather do cardio or lift weights? Would you rather drink a carbonated drink or fruit Juice? Would you rather forget to pack clean underwear when traveling or forget to pack your footwear? Would you rather have 1 million dollars right now or one penny doubling every day for thirty days? Would you rather have 1,000,000 in your bank account or an IQ of 145+? Would you rather have 6 sons or 6 daughters? Would you rather have a 99% chance to win $100,000 or a 50-50 chance at $10 million? Would you rather have a big stomach or fat cheeks? Would you rather have a friend who’s very blunt with their words or a friend who tells a lot of white lies? Would you rather have a live-in massage therapist or a live-in chef? Would you rather have a roommate that eats a lot or one that sleeps a lot? Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? Would you rather have annoying neighbors or neighbors who you always seem to annoy? Would you rather have the ugliest house in a beautiful neighborhood or the most beautiful house in an ugly neighborhood? Would you rather have to change your clothes five times a day or wear the same outfit five times in a row? Would you rather live in a five bedroom apartment all alone or live in a one bedroom apartment with five kids? Would you rather live in a place where it’s always raining or a place where the sun never goes down? Would you rather live in a rural area or the suburbs? Would you rather live in an apartment or house? Would you rather live in ancient Greece or ancient Rome? Would you rather not be able to go out in the daytime or not be able to go out in the night time? Would you rather talk in your sleep or fart in your sleep? Would you rather walk funny or talk funny? Would you rather your parents were able to read your thoughts or your crush was able to read your thoughts? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[@Kate98755]

here's the deal, dating either turns into long term or not...you can't think long on it if it ends, because now you're wasting your new time with something that didn't work, what helped ne, i'd rather be alone than begging someone to date me, or just be my friend....when i began living fully with that outlook i then met my husband....i was in the right space mentally to be a person he wanted to meet....know that you're worth being with someone who truly wants to be with you, someone who likes the authentic you.

[@jenniegust9982]

Moving is right up there with death and dying..very traumatic

[@lynnyoung9114]

The key idea of finding the one is ~~ finding someone who really loves you for who you are ~~ just the way you are. That is really difficult. They have to be secure within themselves. Everyone is co-dependent to some extent.

[@jills3933]

It's easy from the outside to be like, live in the moment, but live in the moment. I wish you knew how laughable that is coming from me. Dating though, just enjoy dating this girl now, not worried about past or future, willing and open to see where it goes. Again easy to say. I was reading about breath work being really helpful, and practicing mindfulness. As odd as it sounds I really love my life, but sometimes it all just feels really long and daunting. The mind just screws things up doesn't it.

[@gj88888]

I’ve been married for 14 years. The day to day shift isn’t easy but I’ve learned to not talk about it. Reason being it’s confusing for others. I realized that it always gets better. I say that to myself often.

[@silxbeats]

I appreciate you for sharing this with us. I love theee kind of conversation...

[@ketchup5344]

She's meeting a man from the motor trade-a new boyfriend who flogs cars for a living. He may be an INFZ- I have no idea but at 9AM on Wednesday morning she'll be far away. Oh man, Frank, I gotta get out of this flat by a railway line. There's no room in here, I dont have tv and there's constant trains in my face. Shit. Ive been here a bloody year which is a year too long. I miss the channels with my favourite girls. You know what I mean? Gotta move...... I am a simple man, I sing a simple song, Ive never been so much in love Ive never hurt so much at the same time. Fun is the one thing that money cant buy Frank. Drugs, houses, cars, swimming pools, food, drink, cloths, versace, toys......but fun? No, Frank. Get with the programme. Man, I love you-in a man-hug kinda way. Peaceout ✌🏽

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

Yes, FJ. Counseling is great. You will feel better. You'll eventually feel empowered with the tools to fix your own problems. Aw, I've missed your videos. Does the Middle Whey come with Center Curds? Life has been hard for me lately, for my mental health. Work and practicing for lessons have me very busy and I've had zero time to fully process the grief from realizing that I will probably have to have shoulder surgery again. It sucks so much but I can't live out the next 20 years of my career in pain. I'm doing so well at teaching and I might have to take another extended leave. I hate that idea. Don't try to take charge of your emotions. Find the space for them to air out. Maybe your lady friend can eventually help you by giving you the space to express that? But really counseling. Really, I hope you find a good person to support you. (Doctors usually have good recommendations) #AskFJ ... If you could have a conversation with any kind of animal, what kind of animal would you want to talk to, and what do you think you would talk about? ;)

[@DestinyGuerra]

Stephanie Douglass Sorry to hear about your shoulder, Stephanie! 😢 I feel like I’m finally getting my stride in my classroom and I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to have an extended leave looming ahead. I hope it’s a quick one for you! 🙏🏼

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

Thank you Destiny!

[@FrankJames]

that's good advice, Stephanie. and I know that must be rough to realize you may have to have a second surgery. I hope you can find a way to feel at peace with that if it happens and keeps you away from your work again. keep us updated :)

[@StephanieDouglassMusic]

@@FrankJames Thanks FJ 😊

[@go2therock]

I love your moving quandary. It's poignant. People always bring change and challenges. We are so complicated. Messy, messy, messy. No random euphoric experience here, but I practice being my own cheerleader on a regular basis. I want to slide a FJ "best friend" into your brain who will affirm, convict, forgive, and encourage you. I can't do it, but you can. You're right about the stoics. It's actually pretty neat that the small things can be so impacting. Bay rum. Problems solved ...and more created.

[@natebot321]

I have always wondered about "She's Leaving Home". You're right, I've never been quite sure how to interpret that last bit of the song

[@savannahb.811]

I feel you on all this especially the "middle way" relationship stuff. I'm currently trying the middle way right now and it's a constant battle that I hope pays off. Its ridiculous lol

[@BarbaraMerryGeng]

Clear Windshield Talk ! Thank you, Frank .

[@milenniumgirl]

Psychologist here... 👋 if you’ve had this euphoria in the absence of substances/drugs lasting for days a few times before in your life maybe read about Bipolar Disorder II (2). I never leave comments but I just felt compelled to say something! Love your channel 🙂

[@Hannah-qv9wk]

Dani DM, is this a joke? He’s not bipolar.

[@jasmineandrose9136]

As a person with Bipolar 2, I would agree with you Dani DM. Everyone sees Bipolar and automatically assumes it's type 1, but there is more than one type. My life changed a lot for the better once I was diagnosed and finally got started on the right meds.

[@FrankJames]

hey I appreciate the comment. I have had only two episodes of euphoria and the last one was five years ago, so it does not seem like a recurring thing.

[@TaijaT76]

Isn't all artists somewhat bipolar, feeling sudden inspiration out of nowhere, not being able to sleep or eat, or fall in love or infatuate people too easily.. It hasn't have to be a disease. Except that to me it is season related, something to do about daylight living in north. You're always depressed in the fall or spring and manic in summer. Typical finnish problem.

[@jasmineandrose9136]

You only have to have one episode to qualify. As a type 2 the majority of the time you're depressed. Really, look up it up. I'm not saying that you must have this, just look at the specific details of type 2.

[@parkerpubs5142]

Some of us have a highly mental approach to love that can lead to us thinking we can set up our love life as if it were a college curriculum. lol.. But often deep fears of being dumped & 'alone' drive our mental schemes & they backfire! When we learn to give ourselves the affection we seek from others it makes the fear less valid. 1st of all we can realize that the love we feel for another person and the wonderful qualities that we see in them are actually within ourselves. They may have been the catalyst that helped us to see those parts of ourselves but in truth these qualities and feelings belong to us alone. Our partner may or may not share the wonderful feelings or qualities that we are experiencing. Our feelings are just that, our feelings. Coming to that realization, we can transfer the love we feel back to ourselves and really see just how special we are. Then we can love our partners without being afraid that they will run away and take all this love we feel with them. ☺ (paraphrased R. Camp)