When Gender Dysphoria Dissapears: Exploring Fluctuations in Trans Experiences and What it May Mean?

[@Barbarapape]

My gender dysphoria started when i was 5 years old, when i visted my Aunt she knew something was not right and would allow me to wear girls clothes, probably hoping that i would grow out of it, but i never did. This was in the early 60's when such things were not acceptable and even today some refuse to accept us for who we realy are. I had to wait until after my parents passed before at last i could start my journey, those years were like living a nightmare, so for me the disphoria never went away, i just learned to live with it. Today at last as a full time female i can live my life as i always wanted, those lost years still haunt me.

[@Staring_at_Walls]

It took me so long to figure out I was trans because of sexual abuse. I always felt so incredibly uncomfortable in my body and it took me over a decade before I was comfortable in exploring my identity. I always had the stereotypical trans thoughts but I just assumed everyone did. That combined with an unsupportive family made me just repress myself. I didn't start piecing it together until I started treating the trauma and taking better care of myself. I was never comfortable with myself. But I am starting to feel a bit better since coming to terms with my identity. This is the first time in my life that I've started finding physical aspects of myself that I like (since presenting more feminine/exploring it) and I am excited to see that feeling grow.

[@alexisvan222]

I've now watched maybe 60 to 80 videos of yours. You're the most knowledgeable person I've met on social media...your videos have hit dead-on for me time and again. Being genderfluid or nonbinary I cannot say I am exactly in tune with your content but.... the depth and breadth of your videos is amazing.

[@DRZPHD]

I appreciate it!

[@RozaKlimek]

Gender dysphoria doesn't mean trans, just as being trans doesn't require dysphoria ✌🏳‍⚧ That's a very important video. If people knew this, they couldn't talk about trying to "cure" dysphoria without transitioning. People should be encouraged to explore themselves and their gender identity. Be mindful of the root issue!

[@PinkTeddy-j8l]

I feel that gender dysphoria may go dormant and come back with a vengeance another thing that struck me is how I have a hard time wearing “feminine”clothing always wear bralettes but other than that I go for unisex clothes despite the fact I’m a transgender female I try to not let the labels define my identity I’m very much so a woman doesn’t matter what clothes one wears i struggle a lot because I don’t like it when people stare at me because I’m different and special in my own ways I still have fear I’m working on it day by day sometimes I wear hoodies in hot weather to conceal my chest and shape and it’s to prevent anyone from hurting me emotionally or psychically

[@Prence]

In my opinion, I don’t think gender dysphoria ever goes away, it won’t disappear. Especially if you’re like me and you transitioned re as I’ll late in life. I am 55 as of I started to transition when I was 51. I don’t feel like I will ever feel like a biological woman. I would love to finally feel normal, by normal I mean experiencing the type of things that a biological woman gets to experience in her life like having a period, having cramps, and getting pregnant and giving birth. As a trans woman those are some of the biggest things that for me gives me gender dysphoria. I know it’s silly, but not being able to experience everything that my mother and sister had to and got to experience makes me feel like I’ve missed out somehow. I know this is silly, I know those things aren’t what defines a woman, but for me, not being able to experience every part of what being a woman hard to experience, it is a reminder that no matter what I do, I will be lesser to biological women. It will always give me gender dysphoria.

[@LuciaC-gt8qh]

I feel like I missed my Girlhood.. as in I didn't get to grow up as a girl and have those experiences. This bugs me, and as you say it may be silly, but it really bugs the heck out of you.

[@kitsu13]

There are even some cis women out there who don't get periods due to PCOS and the like, or who've had to get hysterectomies young for some reason or other (uterine or ovarian cancer perhaps). There are plenty of cis women who don't get cramps and/or are infertile. And it sucks, it really does, but I hope you can use these examples to remind yourself that lacking those experiences isn't unique to trans women (no matter what the transphobes like to shout about). There are plenty of other women, cis and trans alike, who've been there with you. To me (a cis woman) the biggest gap in life experiences between myself and a trans woman is the types of discrimination we would've faced growing up. You probably weren't told that you were "bossy" or told you couldn't do things because you were a girl. You weren't told that you ought to "be nice" when a boy harassed you. You probably would've mostly grown up without that particular burden. And you would've grown up with other burdens, ones I can't fathom well as a cis woman. I can't speak for what you've experienced, but I imagine you were thoroughly dissuaded from being your authentic self in a different, but still equally damaging, way.

[@Prence]

@@kitsu13 I know, but for me that’s a big part of my gender dysphoria. I was never able to have kids, I wanted them so bad, and at my age being a mom was something I’ve always wanted. The fact that it’s impossible for me to do any of those things is just a reminder that I’m not a complete woman. It will always affect my gender dysphoria and always make me feel inadequate as a woman. That’s why I say it’s silly.

[@benjibeatnik]

Wow, this is an incredibly well articulated and nuanced answer to a very loaded question... I wish I could share this with so many people who are no longer in my life. I'm always impressed by the depth of your knowledge and I appreciate your work more than words can say. (Also, your fashion sense is *impeccable* 😊) Thanks, Dr. Z!

[@Lostcause1974]

My gender dysphoria is different now that i started HRT. Its still present, but because I am taking action, I am working on it, it does not feel as such an impossible distress to manage. If that makes sense.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

It makes perfect sense. It's similar to the treatment of any long term condition, psychological or otherwise. It could very well be a lifelong journey, so the important thing is to find ways to manage it.

[@jimmypatterson9854]

How long have you been on it? Personally I feel a desire to get on it but idk about how I feel completely transitioning. How has it changed?

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

@@jimmypatterson9854 I know you weren't directing the question at me, but it's actually not uncommon for nonbinary people to microdose, or to go on HRT for a while then stop once they get the desired changes. It's what I'm doing, myself. You could see if this is an option for you.

[@jimmypatterson9854]

@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t yeah I've been trying to open my mind to the idea of at least trying it.

[@Lostcause1974]

Such an important video! ❤

[@sarahvanwynendaele2265]

great video ,thank you !❤❤

[@LuciaC-gt8qh]

My dsyphoria changes, some days I'm fine and others im not. Ive been dealing with it now for just over 2 years, that was when Pandora's box opened and i Started to realize what was going on. Fo begin with i Couldn't bring myself to say trans.. its like there was a block, and I would think, no...its not that. But i dont know what else would cause me to wonder what i would look if i was a girl for so many years.

[@PinkTeddy-j8l]

I stopped watching your videos due to life happening but I’m back and honestly I should have made more time to watch these I forgot how helpful your videos are for me 😇

[@DianeC818]

One of my mtf friends that transitioned about 15 years ago, detransitioned back to male about 1 year ago. They stopped HRT and had their breast implants and breast growth reversed by getting the same “top surgery” that ftm’s get. They didn’t ever have bottom surgery. I see a lot of videos on KZbin by detransitioners and would be very interested in a video where you discuss detransitioners. Thank you.

[@DianeC818]

@JaneChristensen. Thank you!😀

[@lucasphilm7484]

I don't believe you need gender dysphoria in order to be trans. I never felt any incongruence with my gender growing up. I was extremely successful as a boy and teenager. I was fast, athletic and the best or almost the best at the sports I participated in, did very well in school and had no problem attracting or being in relationships with women. My journey started from a basis of pure admiration of an older, more sexually confident woman that lived a few doors up from me. She would wear amazing and sometimes provocative outfits with such incredible ease. Her confidence was just off the charts. I loved her for it. The moment that has stuck with me and is probably the most defining moment in my life, was one summer evening she came out of her house dressed in a black latex dress and knee high boots. That's the specific event that triggered the desire to dress like a woman for me. I was 16 at the time, and I have no prior recollection of wanting to be like a woman or feeling uncertain in my male role. Nor do I recall dressing in my mother or sisters clothes, as a child or having the desire to do so. So for me admiration became idolization and I came to the admittance that I wanted to dress like her and act like her. So I did. Later after that I went on to become Kim instead of Tim. I'm 29 now and I've been living as a woman since I was 22. When I told the woman in question how influential she was on me, she just laughed because she thought it was crazy she was having such an effect on someone. For me it was life changing, for her it was just a long forgotten summers day. She's 40 now and still looks great, albeit a lot more toned down. So, I believe, that for me, dysphoria never played a significant part in my journey. My regrets about my gender come from friends and some family members that couldn't accept me as I am today. That part still stings. But dysphoria, not so much. One caveat that I will concede, is that I suppose I never particularly felt tied to masculinity growing up. So, perhaps I was already sitting in a middle ground psychologically to begin with.

[@RebeccaFang-i6b]

Yes you need dysphoria. Its in the definition

[@pumcilled]

@@RebeccaFang-i6b definition of what? being transgender? because you're wrong being transgender is just not identifying with the sex you were assigned at birth and it can be for any reason

[@liamh5127]

Yes, I had a mini stroke in 2012 and it disappeared for 6yrs

[@PatrickA474]

I temporarily lived a transgender lifestyle. After the harassment I decided to live as a male again. I don't feel transgender much anymore. I just know that I'm a sensitive guy .

[@bobbylee9727]

I've been watching these videos for four years and remember one of the first in which you suggested to us to ask ourselves if we want to be a woman OR want to feel like a woman. I am of the later variety, my Endocrinologist knows this and is putting me on the Estrodial patch and upping my Spiro as I want to "microdose." I thought this is relevant to this video.

[@morgan6999]

I never felt that i was woman in a mans body growing up but i have felt totally out of place when I have tried to have relationships with women. I feel like a fish out of water with them. Is this dysphoria that is causing my stress. 2 years ago I began to start feeling very feminine and have been diagnosed as trans.

[@dochics1053]

My srink says I am gender dysphoria cis, gay she doesn't know what I am..I know what I am half man,half female because my mom gave me female hormones by taking medication that causes to go to my brain ❤ I am happy 😊😊😊now with myself 😊❤❤

[@peterchapman8718]

I sat around 😢 for years and sitting still sitting around As I have a family and children what can I do 😊

[@M-CH_]

Ok, but what do you think of taking up aspects of gender transition in order to de-emphasize (as opposed to reversing) gender characteristics in order to facilitate healing those other root issues? I think it might be helpful, if done in an informed way.

[@bookworm5433]

When I stopped caring about gender. That's when I started to feel better. Now I just identify as a person. People are wonderful and complicated. We shouldn't have to choose what kind of thing we are, we are not things. If I want to wear a dress, I wear the dress. I think dysphoria comes from a very ugly place of being afraid to be and express yourself. That's what it was for me atleast.

[@naesenh.2162]

I would disagree at this being the case for all of us for some it goes beyond a general expression that clothes can fix or a simple “just love yourself as you are now”, the best way I could say it is if any cis dude randomly began to grow a pair of tits and began to lose upper body muscle they would begin to freak the fuck out. If they went to the doctor and they said “oh don’t worry it’s normal just get annual checkups for breast cancer but the growth is b9 you’ll be fine” or if a women began to grow facial hair, chest and back hair and started to have a receding hairline again a visit to the doctor would say “oh yeah it’s a bit different but totally benign you’ll be okay just shave now” I know these examples are farfetched since it isn’t “normal” for a dude to randomly grow tits or women to grew full on body hair but that nightmare scenario of incongruency is what gender dysphoria feels like. It’s a nightmare that has you slowly watch your body waste away right before your eyes. Obviously to people without gender dysphoria they just see it as natural aging but again if the opposite sex began to age like their male or female counterpart nothing would seem natural about it.

[@bookworm5433]

@@naesenh.2162 I get that. But you'll note in my comment, I made a point to say that's how it was for me. I spent many years unhappy, trying to figure me out. Was I gay, did I need to be a girl? I didn't really feel attached to any given pronoun. None of them seamed to fit. Then I learned about being intersex. At first I thought it only meant one thing. Then I learned that there are 26 or so defined intersex conditions and then subcategories of those, or degrees to which a person can be affected. It turns out 1.7 percent of the population is some form of intersex. And, it turns out I'm one of those 1.7. Imagine going years without knowing what you even are. Realizing that you like girly things because you actually are kind of a girl. Then never feeling safe to express any of who you are because the world around you kept telling you your a boy. Though, I was 13 or 14 before the first question anyone asked me when they met me wasn't (are you a boy or a girl?). Turns out the answer is just (yes). That's why I identify as a person. I'm not one thing and I'm done conforming to the worlds BS. I'd rather be happy and hated than live in misery with a literal piece of myself imprisoned in my own mind. Unable to walk in the world as herself. I refuse to be afraid anymore. What shouldn't I do? I'm not a boy or a girl.

[@naesenh.2162]

@@bookworm5433 amen to that ending statement 💜

[@kelliereviews5341]

I disagree, Gender Dysphoria doesn't go away. You're speaking of denial, and and or a life we as a human being must make sacrifices and or other variables present in our life. Be very careful of what you listen, read, and believe. There are alot of people out there that are not gender dysphoric, and have a PH.D, MD, etc. AND are not Trans/non Binary. Please do not listen to them. YOU alone know your body, you know yourself. PLEASE...... listen to your own body.

[@colmonhs]

🙌🙌

[@LyxEiland]

Does verbal sexual abuse count?

[@TomHancock-kt1zy]

2 acorns in a tree looked at each other and one said hey this guy over here is nuts