When God finds out what 'soaking' is

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[@ZachStarHimself]

Get the floating globe here!: stemerch.com/collections/science-toys/products/led-magnetic-levitation-globe And get the mug here!: inviz.tv/zachstar

[@polreamonn]

Got my globe and it's dope af.

[@death-istic9586]

Hi.

[@norano-xb1ll]

Im just going to ignore what I just saw and just ask if your merch is sustainable produced? (feel like this video just activated a new nightmare and deserves a honoring shirt)

[@RaneBoDasch]

If I get the mug will I be able to use it for soaking...utensils

[@Ir0ns1d3]

How is this 3 days hold?

[@bucketofsunshine6366]

The dilemma I'm going through right now, where half of me is laughing my ass off and the other half is wishing to go back to five minutes ago when I didn’t know this was a thing that existed.

[@thisismetrying17]

Omg same, I didn't need to know that😭

[@TrainerGoldAlt]

you should search atming

[@c.g.silver8782]

+1

[@Drag0nvil]

@@TrainerGoldAlt ... No, given the context I will not. I'm just going to assume that this is the act of withrawing money from an ATM like any sane human would and maintain my blissful ignorance.

[@Henry.25]

Same 😂😂😂

[@andrewcherpeski3180]

As a Mormon, I can emphatically agree that "soaking" is absurd.

[@Nephitejnf]

Ditto to everything he said

[@missarose6159]

I have to ask: was the fact he said "scripture" instead of "scriptures" a little weird to you? Cuz it was weird to me.

[@tardonator]

no

[@CriminalonCrime]

​@@missarose6159well no, the scripture is just a collection of individual scriptures, so in essence, either is the correct way to say it.

[@missarose6159]

@@CriminalonCrime Mormons usually say "scriptures" instead of just "scripture" due to the fact that there are 4 of them: KJV, BoM, D&C, and PoGP

[@darkthunder168]

As a person who doesn't have tik tok, I found out what soaking is thru this video 😭😭

[@coreytaylor5386]

same thing here, literally never heard of it until tiktok and my first responce was the same thing as the video "are they really relying to loophole God?"

[@oliverholmes-gunning5372]

As a person who also doesn't have tiktok, every day that passes makes me profoundly grateful that I don't have tiktok

[@SaltyMaud]

Oh it was a thing well before tiktak. Religious people are hilarious.

[@Hei_Darkfire]

"When you're done googling whether or not this is a thing" I feel called out.

[@PhrontDoor]

This has DEFINITE cross-over potential with Stanzipotenza...

[@desireemacdonald1813]

Would luv to see Joanne show up in one of Zac’s videos, just totally unexpected. It would be so funny.

[@justinb.5277]

i seriously thought it was gonna go: "........almond?" ".......i quit."😂😂😂😂

[@nikbluecher]

grats to 500K!

[@C_heeseable]

God selling me a mug and a globe was unhinged.

[@learnwithkian2198]

Loving the daily uploads

[@EarlTheRed]

As a Mormon this is not as common as he makes it out to be the people who do this are on the same level of not drinking hot chocolate because we aren’t allowed to drink hot drinks but they mean coffee and green and black tea

[@2Banticheat]

I think this is the funniest fucking episode of god I've ever seen LOL

[@Cenn_Devel]

I read the title as "When god finds out what 'smoking' is", and then I realized "Oh that's probably gonna be a lot worse"

[@spiceywolf]

his wtf did u say so casually was my reaction to this concept introduced as existing to me xD thats so fckin weird

[@FloridaManYT]

bro just broke the matrix and talked to me directly at the end. I was already starting to google

[@someguy1ification]

... the bits where big G kept saying "all-knowing" actually made me feel sorry for Him. Being omniscient means being aware of crap like this. I guess being omnipotent means that He can just make Himself forget it immediately. That would certainly be benevolent of Him.

[@JobiWan144]

That's a fascinating philosophical question: Assuming that God is both omnipotent and omniscient, can he make himself forget something?

[@donheady3851]

I'm pretty sure a decade ago this was called docking... And they were doing the same thing. So I'm guessing they found out that kids were doin it and then the kids changed the name as another loophole. We can't fuck or dock might as well just soak it.

[@EweCantSeeMe]

Docking was when 2 🍆's wear the same hoodie 😅🤢

[@LycorisLilyP]

Member of the Church here, and I can say that any member that actually follows the teachings of the church doesn't soak or anything like that (most members wouldn't see a difference between soaking and intercourse anyway). Even though there may not be any explicit rule regarding soaking itself, the church does teach that it's important to keep thoughts and actions pure so that they do not eventually lead to further acts that would go directly against God's commandments. The slippery slope, as it's commonly called. Here's a quote from the Church's website regarding this: "Instead of listing do’s and don'ts regarding people’s actions about chastity, (Christ) asked them to shift their paradigm in how they approached personal responsibility for living the commandments. Jesus asked His followers to be chaste in their thoughts and intentions, not just their actions." There's not really any difference between a member that soaks and one that just has intercourse the normal way, so they might as well send it if that's what they decide to do. They're not following the Church's teachings either way. I pretty much had the same reaction as God Zach when I found out about this lol

[@derek_davidson]

Everyone has a friend whose cousin's roommate's sister did soaking.

[@freddykabuffke461]

Everyone has a cousin whose roommates friend did soaking with his sister

[@judahlagrange8286]

Hey i have that globe!

[@DeetotheDubs]

Garfunkel and Oates have a better loophole. At least that doesn't require a third party.

[@Mechazoid5116]

Its amazing how these people were finding loopholes to religion. Its not like the law your suppose to believe in it if your part of it, not obligated by outsider threats.

[@ViceCoin]

Soaking simulation.

[@George-iz2ce]

Step 1: Learn a new insane thing that's going on Step 2: Imagine Zach's reaction

[@Ajz092]

I imagine it's something like: "👁👄👁...what?"

[@SigFigNewton]

Ate almonds until I imagined that he was done reacting. Am now obese.

[@Slash_to_your_heart]

"......what the fuck was that?"

[@louisrobitaille5810]

1. Murder kink. 2. Waiting for sketch.

[@Slash_to_your_heart]

@@louisrobitaille5810 ...i'm sorry...what? No seriously..what the fuck?

[@wouterzonneveld2305]

I wonder how long Zach has just stared into the distance when making all his videos

[@alexiron6876]

This man has master the art of dead panding 🤣

[@Zalacans]

More than zero minutes

[@Huskylogic]

​@@Zalacansgoated statistic format 🐐🐐

[@markgaumee]

I want an hour long video of just Zack staring into the distance while his other self stands there eating food the whole time😂

[@charlieabrams5875]

"Bowling alley was closed" "Because it's fucking Utah" sent me 😂

[@charlieabrams5875]

@piotrklos9543 many businesses in Utah are closed at the weirdest and most inopportune times, and forget going anywhere on Sunday

[@MisterW0lfe]

@@piotrklos9543 and there's a high concentration of Mormons in Utah

[@phoenix0166]

Also hope “Almond?” Is gonna be a running joke for a while

[@bellaivie1662]

​@@piotrklos9543because of Mormons being mormons most places in Utah are closed on Sundays so people can go to church.

[@Jediknight404]

Yeah, as a Utahn, the fact everything is closed on Sunday really sucks.

[@Rizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

Would’ve laughed if he said “The fuck’s a Mormon?”

[@martinmarkov9707]

But he's all-knowing.

[@immoloism]

@@martinmarkov9707 all-knowing* *expect for tiktok trends FTFY

[@rockwastaken]

@@martinmarkov9707 then he knows what soaking is

[@JoeTheGunslinger]

@BlackOpsGulfWarwhat

[@hellistheunderworld]

@BlackOpsGulfWar that doesnt explain anything

[@thebevan]

The greatest part about old religious traditions: finding loopholes around them so you don't *technically* break them

[@Gurem]

Funny thing is god don't give a f. He gonna look u dead pan in ur face and send u where u know u should go. People forget it ain't a court room, it's a dictatorship.

[@Diaphat]

This is why people question religion.

[@thomashauer6804]

stephe hawking style sex is what god wants..lmao

[@reclaimerbear6760]

That is why Jesus said thoughts counted.

[@DannySleepwalker]

God hates this one little trick! Like seriously... if they really believe the God is real, do they not think he's "all knowing" and stuff? If a human knows what's up, God has to as well. Hate these fake ass religious people and I don't even believe in God myself...

[@TheNerfer]

Ah yes, loopholes would totally work on an all-powerful, all-knowing god. That makes perfect sense.

[@Grag235]

Yeah, and the fact people made these loopholes so they can get away with sin, which caused multiple people to question religion is just funny to me, cause they aren’t getting away with sin, they just think they are, and everyone knows💀

[@rushatyadav9135]

What makes me question religion is that , it was dumb originally (cuz it was manipulated by institutions like church to make money) And whenever proven wrong on something,they just edit their book And the fact that there are many different religions, And also religion treats humans as something special which science doesn't,it just feels like a product of our ego Other than that in the context of this video , yes loopholes are silly

[@grabble7605]

@@Grag235 They get away with 'sin' either way because it's a myth.

[@ZTheZtickman26]

@@grabble7605 I mean, sin is still looked down on morally, not just religiously

[@shutboi4586]

@@ZTheZtickman26depends on what sin. Murder is bad but not wearing clothes made from 2 different fabrics.

[@gegecry]

4 comedy sketches in 3 days across 2 channels now thats impressive

[@downtostandup]

I thought these were documentaries

[@gegecry]

​@@downtostandup Documenteries of what?

[@downtostandup]

@@gegecry I don't know... maybe read their titles. Just saying.

[@vaibhavitapade1649]

what other channel?

[@gegecry]

@@vaibhavitapade1649 His First Chanel where He speaks about physics called Zach Star. Zach Star himself is His second Chanel. But I First discovered this one.

[@BuiHieuDong]

God: "Maybe staying further away from humanity isn't a bad idea after all."

[@TheKingsLeap1]

Poor God, He has to keep finding out about the weird shit that we do

[@yasininn76]

"We? Who's WE? THERE IS NO WE"

[@JakeRobbins1018]

"We" probably meant "Humans" in this context@@yasininn76

[@Anty_Praza]

​@@yasininn76there will be. Be ready for your daily dose of soaking.

[@Jackalmercenary-t7y]

WE ! why you speaking French

[@wildste]

The fact that Zach actually provided evidence that this actually exists makes it even funnier

[@totallyfrozen]

I can’t believe I just blew 5 minutes of my life on this video…just sitting here…soaking it all in.

[@pigmasters3263]

I had no idea this was an actual thing that real people do. This is hilarious

[@jorgebarriosmur]

I thought this was something Zach invented for a sketch. Live is strange.....

[@kishaa819]

Wow…. I wish I hadn’t learned this. Like when I found out eyeball licking was a thing.

[@ryanlyman4011]

It's not really. The people that do it mostly do it as a meme they don't actually believe that it's a loophole.

[@MeemahSN]

@@ryanlyman4011 it sounds like a South Park episode

[@Anty_Praza]

​​@@carsonbaird8919I want to make changes, make the world a better place. To be remembered. And for all that I need only a simple thing... a non-married mormon couple.

[@fatalheart7382]

"All knowing. All knowing. All of it. Not fucking stupid." XD Perfect.

[@SamLabbato]

"no, don't say it again, I'll pass out" priceless

[@SeriousSam691]

I love how these always devolve into one party just snacking randomly. And after the Darth Vader video and this one, I really hope this "Almond?" bit becomes a recurring joke, it's so good.

[@GarrettRabins]

I can confirm this is how Mormons think (I'm ex-mormon)

[@mormonbear4050]

I can confirm this is not how most Mormons think.

[@Nightenstaff]

@kikofriastenza9876 Loophole.

[@George-iz2ce]

I second the notion@kikofriastenza9876

[@MorNloR]

​@kikofriastenza9876time travel to da future mate, is prob God idk, he knows Mormons he is omniscient

[@freddykabuffke461]

@kikofriastenza9876 some people pay money to support their favorite creators, therefore getting early access to new videos. I'm baffled that some people don't know this.

[@zDToddy]

Fact that this looks much much more wrong than normal sex could ever do

[@AverageCommentor]

It is.

[@raelsantana8179]

i think it's because there is one more person than usual...

[@rainbowoncrack8948]

Imagine five guys jumping in the bed

[@lavasharkandboygirl9716]

“Doing it Stephen Hawking style” has a whole lot more meaning now days

[@Heatrecks]

Reminds me of when people were going through the back door so as to technically not break the rule

[@EweCantSeeMe]

::flooding intensifies::

[@Baker0214]

Eff me in the butt because I love Jesus

[@benbookworm]

That's called the poophole loophole.

[@michaelharris8598]

Bjs used to serve this purpose in the 90s.

[@archaon1400]

Idk if it was only mormons or any abrahamic-related religion (well, for mormons even that is a strech but there is just no good word to connect protestants, catholics and them) but in either Exodus or Levictus its specifically pointed out that anal is a sin and you should repent for 90 days after it.

[@mm-yt8sf]

a third party jumping on the bed to avoid being blamed for thrusting actually sounds similar to the workaround for not putting out a fire on shabbat but opening a door to allow the wind to put it out. or a flipping a switch (which is seen as starting a fire when turning it on) can be activated by blocking a beam of light that has a sensor and will make the switch turn on. i had a friend who said instead of clearing out their home of things that shouldn't be there during some special time, he will symbolically sell everything to a non-jew for a penny and buy it back for a penny. and i've wondered if the god who's rules are being loopholed is omniscient wouldn't it not work anymore? or are even the gods subservient to the letter of their laws? cosmic bureaucracy is the true master of the universe

[@elisabethbauman6190]

As a Jew who learns about these wild workarounds intermittently, I’m just like, WTF? Like the time the Hillel asked me for manual labor help on a Friday night, but they paid me hours on my paycheck that said Sunday? Like, you think God doesn’t see right through that? I agreed to work during the Sabbath because I thought my helping was worthwhile and in the spirit of mitzvah, and you people are like, let’s lie about the hours on the timesheet - that will make everything ok with God, right?

[@StarboyXL9]

@@elisabethbauman6190 People of all faiths twist themselves into mental pretzels to try and dodge divine judgement, meanwhile God just laughs at their foolishness.

[@saiyaddanapudi9216]

The thing is, if God is omniscient, the loophole would only be there if he allowed it to be there, because if he didn’t want it to be there, he would have known about it and closed it. Since he didn’t close it, it’s intentional and can be used. No trickery involved.

[@yorkleroy5605]

​@@saiyaddanapudi9216no, just because he never specified that leaving a loaded crossbow somebody else loaded pointed at a door then letting a different person trigger a Rube Goldberg machine that tips some treats onto a pressure plate that pulls a string which releases the crossbow bolt when the target is in the doorway, doesn't mean it's not murder.

[@reuvencooper8170]

No one who actually keeps Judaism would allow you to do those things though. Except for the selling one, Jews sell their bread during passover when they are only allowed to have unleavened bread in their homes, but that only applies if the bread belongs to them. However, any religious Jew isn't doing the sale symbolically.

[@trillionbones89]

Thank you Zach for having a spinning globe that spins the correct direction.

[@jcorey333]

As someone who went to school in Utah and is a member of the church, this is often associated with, I heard about it, and my reaction was about the same. Fortunately, I never knew anyone who actually did this, or at least would admit to it.

[@inseptus712]

I didn't hear about it at all until I became an Ex-Mormon.

[@arcticfox6478]

I don't think anyone would willingly admit to it

[@Suzanne4415]

Well the friend jumping on the mattress is obvs a joke/urban legend/tiktok material. But the idea of "intercourse but just barely so not even" seems to be a thing w/ sexually restricted people everywhere 😂

[@brianwhitfield2513]

Normally I find product placement annoying but that was actually hilarious.

[@clonetrooper576]

The irony in thinking you're getting around religious rules by doing this.... The whole reason why premartial sex is "bad" is that somethin somethin lust etc. The point isnt the SEX ITSELF its the way youre thinking about it in the action and the soaking this is literally them thinking in that same sinful way but trying to "still be cool" like.. its already too late. Just go for it at that point...

[@Dookieman1975]

Thought there was also supposed to be a deeper meaning. Something like “don’t do it until ur at least married so u won’t have an accident and be unprepared to have a kid”. But then again why not just say that or make it more clear? Hell pedophilia isn’t punished in the Bible

[@clonetrooper576]

@@Dookieman1975 I think the idea behind it is that you wait to form a covenant with God because it shows you weren't going to cheapen yourself or be subdued by worldly pleasures because marriage isn't just between two people it's also with God too, at least that's what roughly what people have told me. It's so funny that people think "soaking" gets around that. You are doing the action, you're just not moving I guess. That'd be like, setting up drugs on a table, then having a friend set up a leaf blower so it goes into your nose... like dude...

[@idrawfurries6136]

The delivery of those "HUH? HUH? WHAT? HUH?" lines are so well done I love it so much

[@BazukinBelyugovich]

That bit lives rent-free in my head. There are so many perfect applications for quoting that.

[@geckogeico2212]

Almond?

[@claraboas3707]

Not only is this a real thing, but growing up in utah as a sheltered mormon this is my Favorite Zach Star Skit.

[@Xephyranth]

I was kind of expecting god to just say "Really? that's all you're doing? hey, get me the head mormon cause I'm updating the scriptures, now do it properly this time"

[@Jeffreydefinitelynotdahmer]

I could watch Zach eat snacks for hours😂

[@OmniscientWarrior]

He has videos of him eating cereal. You can put that on loop and that would basically be the same thing.

[@Vihktor]

Funny thing is, "soaking" is a term in some other denominations for just hanging out in God's presence.

[@WWZenaDo]

Oh, that's even BETTER!! 😅😂😅😂

[@Huskylogic]

kill me ☠️

[@elizabethconyers5179]

I think I heard Bethel church people had a practice they called “soaking” involving laying on graves of holy people to try to absorb their “annointing”

[@lucaslaissus7646]

He was so shocked he spoke like Steven He's dad.

[@DaijDjan]

Never heard of this before. First: Sorry, but that's clearly having sex nethertheless. Second: The fact some people even try finding loopholes in old religious texts and think that's necessary to be "allowed" having sex in this day and age makes me so sad..

[@apollohateshisdayjob9606]

I hate that I knew this was a real thing... But with a father like Zeus, what won't you know about deviancy 😅

[@thymecrafter]

wait what

[@zeus-kyurem6581]

Hey, I'm not this bad

[@placeholder5877]

"Who is this, by the way?" "What the fu- this is god" lmao his expression

[@osteoporosis9024]

As a Mormon I not only find this fucking hilarious but I’ve never heard of soaking before, I definitely have friends who have tried this 😂

[@windhunter7]

Imo, instead of finding a loophole, maybe just find a better religion that's less of a cult? 🤷 Cause what happened is that the Bible is actually multiple books from multiple authors, some of whom may have lied while others may have been honest, and then a bunch of prestigious men threw together what they wanted to be called the "Bible" in the middle ages or so

[@DarkcIoud1111.]

Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he has created?

[@aryan1713]

"Stephen Hawking style" 💀💀

[@dictatorjames7033]

I grew up in Utah as a Mormon, when I first heard about this, we all thought they were kidding themselves too

[@enemy_of_progress]

Can't lie part of the reason I opened this video was to find out what "soaking" was

[@BoraHorzaGobuchul]

Same here, I guessed it wasn't what I do when I need to soak, and my expectations were surpassed for sure. F*ng Mormons, pun intended.

[@dr0g_Oakblood]

Reminds me of a story I heard about a Muslim guy that put a coaster over the top of his cup of beer so that “Allah couldn’t tell it was beer”, folks seem to like loopholes no matter the religion lmao

[@Death13Horseman]

They better rename it to the church of Load-her-tail saints.

[@agent0422]

If it was Zach's fuckboi God character, he'd be like "Sick loophole!"

[@T3RRY_T3RR0R]

did you miss the end?

[@swimskill8762]

i was literaly googling it while he said that, think I better buy a floating globe

[@MrMoustaffa]

The fact that the "just the tip" argument has been used for over a century is insane

[@D.J.L.32]

The almonds are practically a character at this point 😂

[@capitanpico-jk4ln]

ALMOND

[@antonionnam6594]

Yo!! Is this a thing. Because wtf. This mormon sh*t is actually crazy 💀💀💀

[@rebeccapayne5760]

I think the asteroid came 65 million years early

[@octaviusmorlock]

Gotta love the church of LSD... Uh, I meant LDS.

[@extremebricks5450]

I feel like Zach stars blank face has the most emotion I have ever seen on a human being before.

[@hamzamotara4304]

This has the vibe of "is my fast broken if I slipped and a schwarma with extra tahini, 4 apple slices, a gallon of water, and twelve sandwiches happened to fall in my mouth?"

[@nathanhennig5884]

Funny, but I'm pretty sure that if any Mormon kids actually think this is a loophole, it's only a few idiots. I think it's far more likely that some random TikTok idiots made it up for laughs, since it's obviously the intimate physical contact that would be a sin, not the thrusting.

[@CrazyGamingYT56]

Love your content keep up the great work

[@Volthoom]

So we found the one thing the God of ZachStarCinematicUniverse doesn't find cool.

[@martinmarkov9707]

Faking sex.

[@justinmaitland7335]

"more than 0" = you really don't want to know

[@MinecraftMasterNo1]

God questioning why he shouldn't flood the entire world another time and start over.

[@Sfn2.0]

When ever I think 'bout god, I imagine him wearing sunglasses. Idk why...

[@bacchadumII]

4:17 I'd have died laughing if he said "WHAT. THE. HUH?" XD

[@fivelike11]

Love how he says "all-knowing" yet still seemed to need confirmation on what soaking is

[@piotrklos9543]

God is always the largest bro.

[@kieranadamson3224]

I honestly kind of adore the idea that if a kind of god/gods is out there. The reason we as a species haven't all been smited for heresy is that the divine sees us as essentially one big source of ludicrous entertainment. All they have to do is sit back and watch the madness unfold.

[@FilirayBoi]

Hey, I don’t make the rules.

[@yuvalzabary9270]

Man this is a sin because they are trying gods intelligence. If I was god I'd be more mad they even tried this shit than the fact they had sex

[@icespirit]

if you are god why do you care what 2 random mortals are doing

[@yuvalzabary9270]

@@icespirit well you have to keep your ego in someway no? I would probably just get way too invested in whatever humans are doing, pretty similar to what the Zach star version is like

[@icespirit]

@@yuvalzabary9270 if I was the ruler of everything there is i guess id be interested in humanity but I wouldnt really care what theyre doing? if they think I dont exist or try tricking me thats on them lol im infinite nothing affects me anyways

[@yuvalzabary9270]

@@icespirit yeah but it would be boring to be aloof all the time, after enough time you will probably engage because there is nothing left to do

[@icespirit]

@@yuvalzabary9270 yeah but theres no point caring about ego when you rule everything that exists or will ever exist

[@layzeexluu8984]

😳 I have… never heard of that. Now I must try my best to hide this memory in the deepest back part of my brain. Yeesh. LoL

[@elaine5962]

Need to force this meaning of soaking into the furthest recesses of my brain, where information goes one way. Right after telling a few others.

[@ItachiwashereYT]

how is there a comment from 2 days ago on a video that is 7 minutes old

[@Galaxies3000]

Gotta love how it's the Devil who's breaking the news to God.

[@AeronPrince]

In the courts of heaven, that is literally the devil's job.

[@JakeRobbins1018]

He's probably feeling bad for not being the worst. 😂

[@JM-vp8zc]

@@AeronPrinceChief prosecutor

[@anonanon6596]

I forgot people do this. Why did you have to remind me.

[@Boba_Fett_Bounty_Hunter]

If it isn't already, "..." "..." "..." "..." "Almond?" Needs to become a thing

[@TheGamingAssociate]

So as someone who was "raised" a Christian, I would believe this is how God would react to this conversation. At the same time, he is the one who lets the crackhead 73 year olds speak for him and "teach" us so yeah there is also that.

[@jackadams3878]

Me(watching this video): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... HAHA...hahaha...okay ive actually gotta check this shit out...and Google...OMG ITS ALSO CALLED MARINATING!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *PASSES OUT*

[@denalozecon9074]

The idea of omniscience having a downside; seeing weird disturbing stuff and being aware of everything...is also an inability to ignore what you dislike. Seriously that sounds like it would suck for those reasons. OTOH God personally calling some dude on Earth and saying in effect "What are you DOING and WHY?! I am so disgusted by you now." and the dude replies "Who is this?" LOL

[@Keyz42]

Soo was anyone else eating while watching this and then suddenly decided that they're not hungry anymore?

[@JobiWan144]

Important note: Albert Carrington, the Mormon apostle who tried using the excuse in 1885, was still excommunicated. In other words, the church leaders said it still counts as pre- or extra-marital sex... so at least they're not *THAT* crazy.

[@jamiefrankshire3503]

God: “That’s the craziest statistic, I have ever heard. More than zero? How is that possible?” Translation: “More than zero” counts as more than an infinity in this universe.

[@supremevegetable9452]

"All knowing. All knowing." spends entire rest of the phone call being shocked and disgusted by all the stuff he finds out.

[@georhodiumgeo9827]

God: I thought I told you not to do stuff on Saturdays? People: Naa boss, we put a wire around all of New York City, It's totally cool now! God: Wha?

[@blueman3137]

Just have sex instead of this crap. its definitely still a sin, but you wont repent for it. The bible never says torture is a sin, but you should not do it and it definitely is. Also I am assuming they are not wearing a condom becuase its "not sex". this kind of crap along with our non existent sex ed is why Utah has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the US.

[@NaudVanDalen]

They really think they'll get away with it. Although they probably will because it's highly likely that God doesn't exist and even if he does, it's unlikely that sex before marriage an actual sin.

[@cyan311]

Ok, since I know what "soak" means from this video and my mental trauma cannot be fixed...Is it like a strange 3some?