When Identities Collide | Internal Conflicts in DID (using actors!)

[@marym9208]

oH MY GOD AT ONE POINT ED'S ACTOR LOOKED REALLY TENSE AND ANXIOUS AND SO JAMIE'S ACTOR PUT HIS HAND ON ED'S AND ED JUST COMPLETELY RELAXED. IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE

[@Rosemary-go8us]

Me tho

[@elhascoolshoes9704]

1:00 my heart..

[@zeusrulez]

Then Ollie’s actor comes up to comfort

[@Hiforest]

Yup, me too! They did well to choose such good actors too :). Well done everyone:).

[@babyggukie3580]

Agreed, I think it's a tie between Jess and Ed, they both did so well

[@xXxIMNOTANGELxXx]

I wonder what the actual boys are thinking while the actors are speaking.. like.. if it's really something they'd say and such. Very interesting concept!

[@actingmak]

SAME

[@OcyTaviAh]

I think Jess said they were going to do a reaction thing about it

[@littlepixy2]

Yes! I just watched the live stream where she said they were going to do a reaction video. I'm so excited to see it

[@actingmak]

I am LIVING for the clip where real Jake is giving actor Jake tips. I can't wait to hear Ed's thoughts and how he's processing.

[@user-mz7xo6ez7m]

I wonder if any of them were trying to front really, and how they all handled this while this was going on.

[@ednajwolff]

That line where Ed says "if we look nice they'll be less likely to hurt us!" That's so telling. Also the way Jake just blocks Jess and she reaches for him when things get tense. This whole thing is amazing. Thanks everyone for making this possible.

[@illy681]

Wow it's as if they've physically jumped out on camera

[@thinker5288]

To Ed, the real Ed, you've had so much to carry. You probably don't want my sympathy, but you have my deep respect.

[@MMDAMV]

Even in the anger, I see the sheer amount of love in your system. The hurt, but the overall desire to protect one another and yourselves.

[@tiffanyfite1217]

This is so powerful. On the one hand it’s easy to understand how Jess would want to put that information out in the open, the release of information is freeing and would make her feel like she’s contributing to the movement. On the other hand it’s also heartbreaking to realize that the things she’s putting out in the open she has no memory of, where as Ed who has the memories has to take the burden of dealing with those experiences and having them thrust out in the open without his explicit consent. However, just like how young Jess had the flawed logic of “this wouldn’t have happened if I was a boy”, Ed has the idea that “If I look pretty people wont hurt me”. Logic born out of trauma, in the same vein as eating disorders, is some of the hardest to break. Can we take a moment to appreciate how far Ed has come? Like a Phoenix rising from burning coals, he arrived to a micro universe of pain, yet he has found a way to love, to live, make connections, and experience happiness. It’s natural for him to still be hurting, but I hope he knows we’re not looking down on him. If anything I have a newfound respect both for him and the others. A lesser man would’ve laid down and given up. he’s truly strong in a way that matters. (Sorry if this is rambly, I’m having a lot of emotions right now!)

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

This is so true and so perfect! Thank you ever so much for saying all of that!

[@MMDAMV]

I have such a deep love for Ed. When we get to see him genuinely smile and laugh, my heart sings♡

[@nunyabusiness278]

This is so sweet

[@juliusroman8616]

Thank you for saying that! It helped me a lot.

[@Alexa-pl2ds]

Second time watching this and he’s amazing as Ed! Everyone was amazing but his performance blew me away!

[@ellaheller5339]

I'm starting to see Ed's role in a newer light

[@Convoluted-and-Exiled]

Absolutely!

[@nickc3657]

What is/was the magazine/interview that’s the center of this conflict?

[@ellaheller5339]

@@nickc3657 They've done several interviews and videos so it might have been a documentary

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

Nick C it’s our latest Toi magazine survivors stories video

[@skelefrog_]

I'm sorry I know this is all serious but when Ed said "I can't believe..." , I thought he sounded like the vine that goes "Aw f*ck. I can't believe you've done this"

[@grimmmmmmme]

I shouldn't laugh but damn I love it when people can make me smile through a joke and optimise the situation.

[@firebreathingchickenduck4936]

I had to stop at that part because of the yelling so like thanks for the laugh.

[@skelefrog_]

Fire Breathing Chicken Duck No problem lol!

[@ninahasnoname]

That ending really struck me. She wants them to leave and they all look uncomfortable but they physically cannot separate. They never get a break from each other.

[@TheInfinitySystem]

That's exactly what it's like.

[@juliusroman8616]

I thought they were in the innerspace, can't they separate then? I was a little surprised when they didn't go off into a kitchen or something. Or do you mean on a emotional level, like they need each other? Or do you mean like more than a couple hours separation, which isn't possible???

[@Black_Cat_brazil]

Well in my case we had rooms everyone that needs and wants a room had them, but you cannot disappear with everyone emotions and they will not be in their rooms forever they wanna came out some time and they deserve as u too, soo its kind of complex but yeah you can separate but you cannot stop their wishes their feelings their existance, and u need to respect them as u should to respect any live being, we are alive we do mistakes but we cant get better and be more and more respectful if we try hard, we are here to stay so lets deal with life together u know

[@citriosis]

​@@juliusroman86163 years late, but all alters are parts of one whole. The headspace is a visualization of that. There is no true separation. Ever. Period. Full stop. Even with amnesia barriers, you're still together. And it's exhausting.

[@punkinghost]

Seeing Ed and Jamie be a couple in a video is so endearing ❤

[@TheEntropySystem]

God this brought up so many emotions. It was so hard to watch because we’ve had similar conflicts and some of us got riled up again. But it was so important to watch as well. Seeing your system’s dynamic and how they all work to comfort different parts was powerful. Thank you and thanks to all the actors for this. -Wyn

[@samantharobinson5449]

I also agree! Similar conflict has happenee within this system as well -samantga

[@oldsoulyt4757]

We love you all so much, but it would have been greatly appreciated to be warned about the yelling bits of the skit, it's a great skit it was just jarring and a bit triggering for our system personally. We hope this doesn't offend you love.

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

There was a warning in text at the start of the video 😊

[@marq6929]

Same! I was tearing up almost instantly. Especially the part about wishing they'd all go away - I still carry a lot of guilt for pulling that card too much against the others.

[@raea3588]

Same here. I think this could be powerfully helpful for many people coping with DID

[@bunniebug4]

The part when jamie went over to ollie and told him to block his ears...im crying omg

[@emilys2562]

It reminds me of my childhood I had to pause it.

[@gothempress]

I'm so sorry, Ed, that this feels so invasive. I'm sorry to all of you that you've had so many negative experiences that cause conflict amongst yourself too. Jess, I'm sorry that you feel so conflicted sometimes about what to share and what not to share. Jamie, I know this has pulled you right in the middle and I don't envy your position. I know you're doing your best. Jake, it's admirable that you want to shelter Jess, but I do also agree that Ed needs to be heard, even if it is harsh to hear. Keep on loving the whole system, man. And Ollie, I know you probably hate it when everyone argues, but just know that sometimes the argument is necessary to come to a resolution. To all of you, again, please only share what your system feels comfortable sharing. We don't NEED to know anything at all about you and you can and do still teach us acceptance and about DID as a condition. My heart truly goes out to you all.

[@apetty5918]

Are we actually pretending these are all real separate people and not different personalities from one lady?

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

The point of this whole thing is that they need to be regarded in the same way with the same respect, because that’s how they’ve developed. In order to work with and treat the disorder, it’s important to understand and respect each alter, their being and perspective

[@gothempress]

@@apetty5918 they are real, separate identities inhabiting the same body. Be respectful.

[@o_lilium4829]

You took the words from my mouth. Well said! We don't NEED to know anything you don't want to share. But when you're truly ready, we will of course be here! I love all 5 of you, for what it's worth 💜

[@ilooklikemonalisarightnowl816]

@@apetty5918 They aren't Jess' personalities. They are separate identities that developed in her mind and grown to share it, while still being individuals with unique opinions, characters, interests etc. We're not "pretending" they are different people. They basically are.

[@joannmedors2939]

This is my second time watching this... I watched it on the livestream and again now. Tom NAILED being Ed. You forget he's acting and you think it's actually Ed. Amazing job everyone!

[@emilywatson4732]

This hurt my heart so much. Jess, you are incredible, and so strong being able to act this back out.

[@ForeverGodsGirl1]

I was crying as I watched their suffering! God bless you all!!

[@vampiricly]

oh man I really wanna hug ollie right now aaa - I'm a 16 year old with sensory issues (specifically with yelling if I'm unprepared for it) so I'm really empathizing with him and the headphones and the curling up and I just want to give him a hug. edit: OK SO THIS IS HELLA OFF TOPIC BUT OLLIES SHOES HAVE THE TRANS FLAG ON THEM AND I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS ACCIDENTAL OR ON PURPOSE BUT I LOVE HIM

[@chels3833]

from what i can tell, his shoes are only blue and white!

[@jillypepper_]

casey the flag is on the bottom of the shoe. You can see it at about 10:38 :)

[@ethairnyx_books]

I love Ollie so much, he was just in that little ball the entire time and it was so sad. I too have sensory issues, so I can relate. (And DID!)

[@mattimoodle]

17 and can relate. I literally wear my headphones 23 hours a day basically. Whoop whoop, I have had literal panic attacks at the IDEA of not wearing my headphones for certain situations in the past 😅 Fml

[@mattimoodle]

Also, trans appreciation is always a good thing 👌👌 We could always do with more love to the trans community (I'm NB / trans masc. btw)

[@amandamoore7512]

I feel for Ed here way more than I have before. I mean...to be frank the general nature of the trauma seemed obvious from the get go. Psych 101 of DID and having stated that Ed served a purpose of taking up intimate roles as Jess finds them triggering. The implications were quite clear to those who knew they were seeing them But there’s something about leaving it unsaid vs outright confirming it even vaguely I totally understand Jess’ logic and thought process, but I also empathize so deeply with Ed’s panic and fear of such deeply personal information being available to the world. Especially when having learned first hand how foul humanity can be

[@boywiththebread101]

I wonder how Jamie works as a protector, when he’s in a relationship with Ed, like where does his loyalty lie. And does that dynamic ever cause any issues

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

It’s a fine line 😬 but ultimately Jamie will do what’s best for the overall system: in this case, it’s allowing every part to have their say to make sure they feel heard and understood, before he can ensure there’s a line drawn and a plan to move forward

[@Black_Cat_brazil]

Good point. Wish the best for ur system

[@TheHypnosBunny]

@@MultiplicityAndMe in somepoint i can sorta sympathize with ed, i am a single person, but like i can see where he's coming from

[@Callsign.unicorn]

Seeing how Ollie reacted to the fight brought me back to my 7 year old self hiding in my room listning to my parents screaming at each other :'( to this day I still cant handle people who are fighting..and Im almost 30 Years old... :'(

[@ambergarris3075]

Same, my friend. I get very, very anxious but I also get my claws out and go on the defense. I was the one who put myself in front of my mom when my dad became argumentative and/or abusive. Any time of fighting makes me start shaking and I hear my heart beat in my ears. I'm so sorry you went through that as well. My heart is with you, love ❤

[@eluanlien6940]

I'm late but it's the same for me, your comment and Ollie's attitude make me cry, that's... I perfectly understand, I feel exactly like that and I react the same and it's confuse but I think we're a lot to feel like that. (Basically, English isn't my native language, sorry for the mistakes)

[@dokadoka4922]

Same! My dad has anger issues and would scream out literal death threats at my mom over the littlest disagreements. By now, I know that he's only saying it out of anger, but as a child I genuinely feared that one day she'd end up dead. I'm 18 (almost 19 now), I have a 12 year old brother and I always bring him away from the scene ever since he practically a baby. Usually I'll bring him to the farthest room from the argument, suck up my tears, and play monopoly or cards with him to get his mind off it. I PRAY that he doesn't develop any kind of fear of arguments like I do :(

[@Callsign.unicorn]

@@dokadoka4922 no one in my family has anger issues but my parents faught alot when they were married...now 23 years after they divorced they are best friends :)

[@Elya08]

Same. 31 years old and I completely freeze and shut down.

[@Andy-wy7vk]

"Stop, just so sick of these conflicting thoughts and feelings about the right thing to feel and think and do. I want you all to leave me alone. Everyone just go away". I feel this so much. Osdd.

[@averagejohnnyult1295]

Thomas is an absolutely fantastic actor! i flinched like three times watching this, i can't even imagine how difficult this must've been for jess. thank you for powering through, we're all so proud!!

[@clarav1938]

I can’t wait to hear the boys’ thoughts on this. Definitely looking forward to more stuff with the actors too! They’re amazing!

[@amyb1993]

This also made me understand Ed more, I'm guessing his response to trauma is comply and everything will be okay so I can see how his role as a persecutor fits in. Its his way of protecting the body and ultimately protecting Jess at the end of the day. It was interesting to see this, I've had experiences with a few adult trauma survivors who do similar things so its interesting to see these things manifest with DID too. You guys continue to amaze me, thank you for sharing this with us, you are so so brave! (even when it doesn't feel like you are)

[@ladyragdollgreen]

Before they started the scene, I just got really tripped out seeing Tom start to be Ed and then the boys started reacting...its like we're so used to seeing the boys through the videos that seeing them around Jess just totally messed with my brain for a moment, absolute "do no compute" moment😂😂😂 I wonder if this is how Jess felt through the entire process!

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

I did 😂😂😂

[@noahoowada]

I am close to speechless... this was so good, yet so harsh for me to watch. I have the same conversation everytime when I open up to a friend about DID. Opening up in every way is hard. Thanks for sharing this, dear, thank you so much.

[@GoogleTrendingTopics]

This was both really difficult to watch but also very fascinating. Your acting was all amazing, and I loved every second of this even though it hurt to watch. Absolutely fantastic!

[@grimmmmmmme]

Ollie in the corner got me feeling shit, it wasn't exactly a trigger, but damn I can empathise completely. To all the actors, bless you! You're amazing! And to the system: we all love you, every individual, you're all godsends. Love you! ~Natalia

[@PoppyRoseWitch]

Holy crap, it’s like I was INSIDE the mind. That’s amazing. The acting is incredible. Wonderful job, all of you!

[@sarahelvetral3710]

This was so difficult for me to watch. I basically took 40min to watch this 11min video because I kept pausing to breathe. Very good acting. Every alters were making valid points in my opinion. Thank y'all for being so open with us, for educating us, for being yourselves. Can't wait to hear what the boys think about the acting and this video. I would love a reaction video. But I feel like if even I had a hard time watching, they might have a harder time than me reliving this argument. So only do what you're all comfortable with.

[@jahbrianawilliams7326]

This made me emotional. Great jobs to the actors, especially the one that played Ed. And when “Ollie” went and gave “Ed” a hug, that was so freaking adorbs just because I felt like it was such an “Ollie” thing to do. Thank you, Jess, for giving us an insight into your mind and life. My heart goes out to you. ❤️

[@didwithme7769]

I really hope Ed isn't mad at you anymore. I can relate to conflict, we've had plenty. Also, we went through every type of abuse imaginable and we get how hard it can be to move past unhealthy outlooks and to be brave enough to speak out. You're all very amazing, you're all worthy of safety and love, and none of it was any of your faults. This was hard to watch, but also relatable. Wishing you all the best. -Kit

[@ambergarris3075]

These actors are amazing. Will (Jake) literally had me in tears with how protective he seemed of Jess. He's honestly blown me away with how well he pulled off representing Jake. They all knocked it out of the park, honestly. I'm so amazed by the work you and your system have been doing to represent and destigmatize DID. Keep up the great work, all of you ❤

[@kasiulenka133]

When Ed said "it's fine if they look at us, cause if they look at us and we look nice then they like us and they'll be less likely to hurt us" that kinda hit me like a truck, idk why

[@Delicate_Disaster]

The actors you chose to portray your system do such a wonderful job. They seem real. They seem how I imagined them. They seem emotional and supportive and loving and raw. These videos are so amazing. ♡ you all are wonderful both in your physical state and in your headspace. ♡

[@selenahernandez6102]

I almost cried Jess. I cannot imagine what you have to go through on a day to day basis, but I loved this performance and I want to thank you so much for sharing what it is like for people with this disorder from your point of view. 😭❤️❤️❤️

[@sarahsweeney7917]

That moment whe Ed says "maybe if we look nice, they'll like us, and maybe won't hurt us." That hit close. Y'all (all of you), thank you for your willingness to be honest and oh so vulnerable. And Ed, thank you for speaking what so many of us feel.

[@justagirl4828]

As an actress this is so interesting and I really enjoyed it! Thank you guys so much for putting it on the yt channel as well! I love your videos!

[@6confused9]

the actors did such a great job i literally said to myself “i feel like i shouldn’t be watching this” it felt that personal. great job ❤

[@likewowtara]

Really love this. I love this project you're doing. The concept alone is so powerful, and the execution just amazing.

[@allyeatworld]

oh man, this scene has got me crushing on jake ;_; i can see why jess said in that meet the alters video that she feels that jake is the most protective. each of them have their own role to play of course, but in this kind of scenario, it definitely feels that way. he directly protected jess the entire time and put her best interests first. although ed's technically a persecutor though, given he's the main one processing the trauma, i feel for him and would argue he's protecting jess the most albeit indirectly. but gosh, all the actors did an immaculate job portraying each of them from start to end, this reenactment was chilling!

[@SingAllTheThings]

Question: Did the boys in the system kind of coach each of these actors on what would be natural, and sort of give them the go-ahead on putting their experiences into action like this? I mostly mean the pre-segment actions, "Ollie" running over to hug Ed, Ed playing with Jess's hair, because it feels natural, but they're still actors and not the actual people. AKA, were the boys able to sort of course-correct or make real-time suggestions, maybe even in rehearsal, about improvised actions and mannerisms? I'm just wondering how that interplay works, as someone who's both an actor and studying psychology. :)

[@MultiplicityAndMe]

SkyBastion the boys all contributed their pre-segment instructions to me beforehand and I passed them on before the live 😄 I’m glad it seemed so natural! That’s exactly what we were aiming for

[@TinyTink006]

What video did Ed get upset about? Has it been taken down?

[@tonitiger9953]

This is fascinating and uncomfortable and touching. I've stumbled across your channel recently. You have said you're doing this to educate people on DID. As someone who knows very little about it (really, only through media and I know its not accurate), I can tell you you've done your job wonderfully and have really educated me. This and the last interactive video you posted especially helped me understand what you go through. The mind is truly an amazing thing. Thank you for sharing and for putting yourselves out there. ❤

[@showersindecember]

Wow, wow, wow! I have been watching this channel for a while and never wanted to comment, but I could not hold back on this video. Jess, everything you have been doing on this channel has been groundbreaking from the beginning and this just takes it to another level. The efforts and work you have put into making people truly understand DID is more than anyone could learn from just reading a little blurb or textbook about it. You take the time to really put us in your shoes so we can not only understand, but empathize with you and others with DID. BIG kudos to these amazing actors for taking the time to do this and truly getting into their characters. You can tell they genuinely care and wanted to do a good job for you and the boys. One day, if and when, you and the boys are comfortable, I would love to see a book and eventual movie about your life and your system. If that day comes soon, you clearly have the actors ready!

[@jazzhollis2404]

7:00 scared the shit out of me when ed shouted, jumped in my seat

[@doubleslashkarma]

I'm sorry, but when Ed said "DID I STUTTER?" I busted out laughing, because it reminds me of a vine-

[@loizerz]

I wonder how the alters felt seeing a physical representation of them

[@kaylabarnes]

Will\Jake being Jess' shield is absolutely amazing!!

[@sakurakitokara5249]

Oh man, not even half way through and I'm crying. For all of you. I completely understand where both Jess and Ed are coming from. And that Ed was likely lashing out due to stress, feeling like he was almost reliving the trauma. Still, it hurts my heart so much to watch y'all fight, even as a reenactment. I hope everyone can come to a happy conclusion at the right pace for you all. ❤

[@JulEnglefaris]

This was so emotional to watch. I was tearing up listening to this. I can only imagine what this is like internally to argue like this between the alters.

[@emmawalter5433]

We have adhd, and oversharing is something all 3 of our co-hosts will do. And talking about our trauma is the surest way to bring our biggest trauma holder into the room, which we don't usually want. Our biggest trauma holder has been villified to some extent, but because is trauma is from childhood, he's also only 10 and his coping strategies has always been "just do what our elders tell you to do and no one will get hurt." and to bottle up shit until he runs blurring into whoever's fronting as an anxiety attack, sometimes with suicidal ideation. We have to realize it's a panic attack before we can...clarify? Unblurr? And then whoever's unblurred can calm down the Trauma Holder and whoever he may still blurring with. We don't have literal family in our head like how Ed and Jamie are Ollie's dads, but our little commune has taken on roles. I'm resource manager, so our girlfriend says I have mom energy. Amos is a literal vampire, but he's fantastic with kids, so he's as close to Lucy and Trauma Holder's dad as he can get. This sort of confrontation might have happened before between Emma, (another trauma holder, and cohost) and Amos, himself a cohost. She didn't like him and was really passive aggressive toward him. Her trauma is related to our transition, to having been marginalized, and being treated poorly by family, and abandoned by friends, and she blamed Amos for what we call the brain pop, when we realized we were a system. She thought it would be an addition to the list of what's wrong with us, and that as the only adult male host he would interrupt the transition we've worked so hard for. I had to step in to remind her that Amos is also a victim here, to sit her down and be firm about how treat alters in this system. She's better now....doesnt front as often though. -Emanuella of House Eptesicus

[@JenSwarbrick1966]

I saw the video about the magazine and the books after the livestream. So this scene made much more sense once I had. I, obviously, had no idea that it was Jamie that was fronting (or had made the decision to speak about your trauma) while you were making that video. It made it much more intense knowing that. Thank you for putting yourselves out there like this. I'm sure this has been a tough go for all of you, making decisions, cooperating, and allowing Jess the freedom to do this. You are all incredibly brave.

[@theflower1689]

i started giggle when ed's actor literally screamed "you thought fucking wrong" its scared the shit out of me lol my sound was all the way up too he basically screamed lol

[@bluee4943]

Can we appreciate how great this actor are. jesus Christ i feel like I'm inside of the system

[@ashleytupper6049]

“I just want to feel _normal_ for once” i managed to keep the tears at bay till that moment. I don’t have DiD but do have GAD and slight BPD. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 8. I’m 30 now and started seeing my psychiatrist 3 years ago this month and I say those words to him almost ever single visit. I was diagnosed with GAD right away, to absolutely no ones surprise lol. I was lucky that it only took about 6 months to get my meds sorted but it took me a good two years to accept that this was now _my life_. My psychiatrist was amazing during all this, reassured me that everything I was feeling was to be expected, that I was mourning the life I lost and that takes time. Last year I finally swallowed a lot of fear and brought up BPD. He told me I definitely have slight BPD but would classify it more as ‘BPD tendencies’ instead of the full blown disorder. Having the diagnosis doesn’t magically make everything better but it open up the door to learning, understanding and coping with what is going on. I’ve binged your channel all day today and will be calling my psychiatrist first thing tomorrow for a next available appointment. Heading Ed talk about the past trauma, his clear pain, it made me realize that the past memories I’ve been trying to ignore, no matter how much I push them down, will always be there. It also made me see that those memories trying to push themselves forward these past years are a big reason why my sleep pattern is almost nonexistent and my temper has been getting shorter and shorter, hard to keep the facade going 24/7. Sorry, rambled on there, kinda par for the course with me though 😅

[@saige-and-stones]

Oh man.. Ollie.. I feel so bad he had to be there for the whole fight.. And when Jamie told him to cover his ears and the small "what?" I feel bad for all of you. I hate fighting and I can imagine the pain in their chest. Don't mind me crying over here like a baby 😂

[@ariri3001]

8:20 has gotten me misty eyed both times I've seen this 😭

[@Zernium]

Goodness, this felt so raw and authentic, it was really jarring when it ended and they switched their moods and started clapping and I remembered they were acting.

[@heathengremlin992]

This is so interesting to watch in an educational sense, and also fun to watch because it's so well-acted.

[@purpleamber1]

As a visual learner, this really put your system's relationships and lines of communication into perspective. Thank you for educating and still putting this "shit" on the internet.

[@jeannemorona_]

i imagine the alters seated and watching these like a movie 🥺

[@jamborei]

Watching this was hard, but..I am glad you managed to make it. It is something that I won’t forget, it helps a lot of people understand, or at least try to understand DID. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have this going on in your inner world... and even harder to relive it all with actors. You are all important, and even though conflict happens..you still manage. That is strength, and keeping up the strength to deal with consequences emotionally and go through hard times again.

[@MissChloehoeh]

I can see how difficult this would be to live with, in fact I can feel how difficult this would be to live with due to the excellent actors and the great job Jess did reenacting these scenarios. I can certainty relate to this and I sure a lot of other people too. Generally speaking, we all have the angel and devil on our shoulder; the voice of our mother/friend/pastor in our ear or that general pressure to conform to another person's idea of what is good/bad/acceptable. Most of us are taught not to acknowledge these thoughts and we all do so to different extents. In contrast, it must be so exhausting to acknowledge each alter, their thoughts, feelings and needs - knowing that to ignore your alters is detrimental to everyone's wellbeing. I have a great deal of respect for Jess and everyone involved in this project because it takes tremendous courage and strength to share your experience living with any mental illness, especially one so stigmatised as DID. Please keep up the great work so that more people learn about DID from the source instead of some caricature of a movie. I'm so happy to have learnt about DID here on KZbin and I try to direct anyone interested to your channel to spread awareness. All the best Jess, Jamie, Jake, Ed & Ollie - also Gaz and baby!

[@stopitforjin1000]

This channel has done so much for me , after recently receiving my DiD diagnosis after years of tests I haven’t got to known my alters as I’ve previously been scared of them. I recently got to know Alvin We have a long way to go and I’m so happy to see you all posting the good and bad sides because we need to be ready in case this happens, thank you from all of us x

[@taliahblack7756]

Oh my gosh, wow... I cried, i wasn't watching a reenactment i was watching what you and your boys/men go through everyday. Obviously i have no idea, what their reaction was or how you all chose to present this, but it must have been a mutual agreement for you to post. I love all your men and your little man Ollie, i think gaz is an exceptional man, and you Jess, are truly the apitomy of beauty. Your smile is contagious, your attitude is admirable. Thankyou, thank all of you for allowing us into your life, sharing your story and being voulnerable with the whole world, you have taught me and continue to eduacte me on a topic i knew so little about and now have a (miniscule understanding in contrast), none the less have an understanding... Thankyou Jess, Ed, Jamie, Jake and Ollie, thankyou for every video and every smile... :)

[@yuujun718]

Thank you for making this part a separate video. Love and support you all!

[@aalba9107]

This hit me in the feels, it’s amazing how you did this, I feel for Ed, I really hope he’s doing well now. Sending love to your whole system as always ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@popemse2839]

This was extremely informative of not only how everyone interacts with each other but also their roles in the system. Jamie protecting Ollie, Jake supporting Jess. All of it has been impeccably done and I'm proud of you all for opening up to the world in such an personal way. The actors were so dedicated to their role and did such a good part.

[@raea3588]

When the demonstration first started I laughed simply because it's so true to what living with DID is like and alters having internal conflicts with each other. Then I began to feel very emotional and so did my alters because of this truth in our daily lives and I feel that I'm still learning to do a better job in listening to them and all of us cooperating. Before the demonstration ended I had tears in my eyes. Because this is so real and so raw and how rare it is for us to find and show such honesty in relationships? I don't think I've ever found anything more real and honest than DID and those who live with me because of it. Thank you!

[@bluetrapp9502]

Ed is a really good actor. He looks and sounds and acts like YungBlud. Are you sure he's not YungBlud?

[@sparklesakalilo2828]

omg- this comment-

[@5of9]

WOW!!! Okay got here by way of KZbin Recommends. WOW! Thank EVERY ONE of you for bringing this together!!! WOW! So well done! ED seems like my 14 y/o male that holds all the anger and all the rage for the whole system ( which is a WOW as well ). Reminded me, Cloud, one of the hosts, of how he is almost always sooooo quite, but then something happens and yeah. Going to show this to my counselor tomorrow so she can 'see' what it is like. I know this was sometime ago, yet we wish that you stay safe as all of us as a community journey (into the unknown, and shit now the littles want to see Frozen II). Best Wishes Cloud, et al

[@samcooke3766]

Thank you for sharing something so vulnerable. Really helps build understanding of how systems work as one! Amazing acting and powerful message. Sending love to all ❤️

[@nerdygal2847]

Thank you, everyone in the system. This can't was been easy to do. For any of you. This was a really insightful(if thats the right word) I just.... thank you.

[@alainabergstrom3374]

This legit made me cry. It’s a beautiful project and everyone did such an incredible job. To Jess and the boys, you are all incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing your experiences so transparently 💜🖤

[@ragdoll97]

im so glad that you are opened up about this. I do not personally have D.I.D but i seeing this better helped me somewhat understand what y'all go through.

[@meghanh2511]

You really found the best people to act out everyone's roles. It really made all your alters look like physical human beings and not beings in one body (I hope that makes sense). Such a great idea and it helps people like me really understand DID better. I'm sure this was super difficult for Jess to do.

[@BarbieBando]

*This is so powerful... Oh my gosh 💔*

[@ticsmore8330]

Wow I didn't expect an emotional reaction to this video. It really brought me back to when one of our alters was this angry all the time. He didn't want me telling people we had DID or anything because he thought everyone would think he was crazy. I'm so glad now that he has changed his mindset on those types of things but this video was such an accurate representation of how those confrontations would go down. -Finn

[@aubreyhaven8972]

I've been working up the courage to watch this video for over a month, because I knew it would hit really close to home. I cried through the whole thing, but I want to say: Thank you.

[@betterbee8488]

Ed was going all Gordon Ramsey 😂

[@kathleenfurlotte7771]

Poor Ed. He reminds me of my borderline personality disorder. I struggle with black and white thinking and highly sensitive feelings. I can sympathize with Ed and Jess. I feel I have emotional connection with Ed. He is a very beautiful person who is deeply misunderstood. I love Ed.

[@ccyanidesnacc6845]

So proud of you all, this has to be the most creative and progressive concept I've seen with any d.i.d. channel. Thank you for doing this, and putting yourself through so much for us.

[@theskatinggirl116]

The Edd actor is so good he is actually making me jump from his screams

[@carleecoffin8689]

The way this is set up like with the actors and everything reminds me of Thomas Sanders and the sides. I’m not trying to make a joke about DID or anything like that it just reminds me of that. I’ve recently been doing a lot of research on DID and trauma is a very serious thing. I’m very far from fully understanding it but by watching videos like this it has helped me to understand other ppls situations with this disorder a little better. Thank you for making this video.

[@LinniJD]

this was. Amazing. wow. The actors did such a good job, and jess YOU did so good. This really put into perspective how you guys as a system work. This must have brought out so many hard feelings, but i'm so glad you guys showed us how it's REALLY like to live with DID.

[@ReneKnights]

Jess (the actors, too, of course, but especially Jess) did an awesome job!!

[@sothisispermanence1898]

Incredibly powerful. Intense and on point. I have parts that struggle with the “diagnosis,” so seeing relatable situations played out helps open their eyes. My managers especially like to suppress the angry and over-sexualized parts, much like Ed seems to be. Felt this heavily in my heart. Thank you all for sharing. I know it’s hard, Ed. I’m so sorry. Hopefully you’ll find some peace.

[@justicemos9943]

That was so deep. I love the idea of having actors play the different alters. Also I wanna add how strong you all are. You are an inspiration to so many people out there trying to live a full life with alters. Thank you so much for being so open dispite the controversy of being so open. You have helped me and because of you I too can communicate in my system.

[@katie-yb3te]

this is so eye-opening, thank you for sharing such a personal experience.

[@lottielue13]

Shit just watched the magazine video just before this and realised it was the first time.you had said that's what the trauma was... As a fellow survivor I'm so grateful... But at the same time I was thinking how the boys where gonna react... Thank you for being so vulnerable and open and sharing this with us xx

[@TheInfinitySystem]

That was heart-wrenching, brutal and absolutely brilliant. THIS is what it has always sounded like inside our head, for as long as we can remember. THIS is what we though went on in everyone's head. The next time we wish that we could stick someone in our head for 5 minutes so they would understand... we'll pull this up. Oh man, were we hearing Mimi in Ed; classic persecutor/protector. She's less... violent about it, but compensates by being far more sharp of tongue and blunt almost to the point of embarrassment. And the last part... Oh, Jess... that moment of overload when you would give anything just to have everyone shut-up for one moment and not be this seething mass of thoughts and emotions and just know, FOR ONCE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE NORMAL. I/We know that feeling. We know it so, so well. You're incredibly strong and you're NOT alone. /system support 💕💪👥 --- Chris and the rest of the IS

[@rudewednesday8169]

What you are all doing is amazing. Thank you all so much for being vulnerable.

[@Shadow-pn3sp]

This is amazing. Absolutely amazing. Bravo to everyone being brave enough to put this out there...standing ovation to everyone. This format is one of the most coolest things I've seen. Wow.

[@AxouStrange]

I dont leave comments really often(so scared of making spelling or grammar mistakes because french life hahaha) but I wanted to say that I really really REAAAALLY like your idea of getting actors to impersonate your alters, showing how it is for people with DID , the intern conflict that you can live sometimes with the alters, it brings a lot more understanding of what you feel inside for people who doesn't have DID. You and your alters are all super brave and strong to come foward on camera and I wanted to say it to all of you. You're all amazing people and also an amazing system ! Thanks for #EducaDID us around the world ! 💖 Lots of love from Québec ! 💖💗💖

[@sparklestorm1236]

From an actor, this is so good. not just it showing the conflict in a meaningful way, but the acting was just so good

[@worthyofradness]

Wow. This is extremely powerful. I want to thank all of you for putting this out for us to see. A lot of people wouldn't want something so intimate put in front of the world, but you did it. Your vulnerability and courage is helping others. When Ed said, "maybe if we look nice they'll like us, and they'll be less likely to hurt us" I burst into tears. That is a lot of weight to carry. Thank you all, again, for giving us a glimpse into your inner world. Please keep doing what you're doing

[@skyeblackheart456]

Now that was an empowering depiction of what goes on internally with DID. Thank you for the glimpse and well done actors on putting a physical representation of the Multiplicity system

[@abbymccraw4353]

damn this was eye opening

[@user-324-v3e]

I love the relationship of Ed and Jamie. I love how Jamie protected Ollie. I love Ed's passion. I really love how you reenacted this. Also happy for you this was your past but it's still incredible.

[@RhoadesLessTraveled]

I've rewatched this a few times and still can't gwt over how amazing everyone was. And thank you to everyone in your system for sharing this. I'm sorry Ed was hurt by the other video but I hope you all feel better now that the video is out and that you are being a positive voice to any other person who went through similar things. Sending all the love. 💛🌻