WHEN IT'S THEM, NOT YOU: NAVIGATING TOXIC FAMILY & RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

Рет қаралды 3,403

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 35

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 ай бұрын

For timestamp 53:43 Courtney and others: Calmigo multi-sensory device for coping with anxiety: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ep3Np3VpepqifKs - Use my coupon code TamaraH24 for $30 off!

@RhondaLange-w5j 2 ай бұрын

So much dysfunction in some families. Learning things aren't always my fault.

@Lyrielonwind 2 ай бұрын

If you have complex PTSD it's hard to record new information in your brain. The high levels of cortisol influence the hippocampus and it's hard to focus or you learn something but doesn't go to your long term memory. I have many problems with my short term memory and keeping or adding new information. On the other hand, I have too many memories that I ruminate and it also shows up in my dreams. It's tough and it's draining. I need to remind myself about being patient with myself continually.

@brendarudman8806 2 ай бұрын

My toxic family wanted me to continue looking after my mother when i became ill😮 They then had a cheek to call me selfish and "It's all about you!" Shocking!

@Lyrielonwind 2 ай бұрын

I went no contact for many reasons but among them because I knew that whatever happened to her I would be blamed no matter if I was absent. I had to care for her for a few months and two of my sisters were attacking me right from the beginning and without pause. They didn't bother to look for a woman to attend her until I left and she was old but healthier than I or anyone else in the family. My mother used to show off about her good health saying "she only had pregnancies"...I guess my siblings and I are the consequences of those illnesses.

@CharlesEsther-fh2cm Ай бұрын

Tamara, what a blessing to have discovered your channel! I can listen to you speak all day long! Amazing speaker and presence❤

@TherapistTamaraHill Ай бұрын

Thank you so much!🙏 Glad to have you on the channel.

@staypositive333-beu 18 күн бұрын

thank you tamara for the content you provide. what i am learning rips me apart but, seeing the truth is allowing me to be more free and let go of certain situations/people that was never good for me. also would like to thank everyone in the live chat for opening my eyes. very grateful.

@TherapistTamaraHill 17 күн бұрын

You're welcome. I know this is hard to digest. But I'm glad you are able to use this channel and video to help you process this. I welcome you also to one of my live chats on Fridays and Saturdays 6:30pm est.

@staypositive333-beu 17 күн бұрын

@ okay I will keep that in mind, thank you so much. This is the type of channel that actually can save a life. Can help many people in similar situations that you have talked about and others as well in your live chat. Very supportive.very uplifting. Thank you again.🙌🏻

@AdamantlyAdams 2 ай бұрын

Good to see you Tamera!

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 ай бұрын

You too!!

@marthadonnapurrrr 2 ай бұрын

I have proven multiple times that my father is undiagnosed narcissistic. My family treats me like i’m the true narcissist bc i criticize their awful parenting & family abuse. I am the family scapegoat. They think it’s my job to help them cover up the abuse, so i am very parentified. My parents are too immature to be honest about hardly anything. They cannot cope with their own emotions, so i’ve basically had to raise myself or have other people raise me or be raised by tech companies brainwashing devices & programming. This is happening to far more children than anyone would care to admit. This is an epidemic.

@marthadonnapurrrr 2 ай бұрын

My parents seem to think i’m double binding them, yet in reality, they refuse to learn about the multiple different mental health conditions that they have caused me to develop bc of all of their abuse & neglect, so when they try to help me, they go about it in a way that doesn’t make sense, so it doesn’t help me. Furthermore my mother is always trying to simultaneously please my abusive narcissistic father & help me heal from his abuse. Then they say “you’re impossible, you just don’t want us to help you” which is untrue. I have provided them with many resources for learning about complex ptsd & autism spectrum. They continue to avoid applying the knowledge that they learn from these resources & they blame me for their failures. I am the family scapegoat. My mother keeps tricking me into thinking she will help me escape this hell, but she always goes right back to my father.

@marthadonnapurrrr 2 ай бұрын

O ya, absolutely, i think my parents know that there are solutions that would help me tremendously, but those solutions don’t serve their selfish desires, so they don’t want to do that. Instead they gaslight me & blame me for their failed attempts at helping me, when they willfully choose non-solutions that wouldn’t logically help me in my precarious situation. It really feels as if they want me to stay trapped here so they can continue to reep the benefits of me being the scapegoat.

@laurareedy8852 10 күн бұрын

my whole family just abandoned me and they won’t answer my phone calls or texts and I don’t know why they are doing this. I haven’t done anything to any of them and I am confused and sad .

@wirelessunday9897 Ай бұрын

Thanks!

@TherapistTamaraHill Ай бұрын

You're welcome! So glad you found it helpful. And thank you for the super chat.

@writer1986 Ай бұрын

I'm reminded of my ex-husband. He was always indecisive, could never pick and choose where the family should go nor what to eat. It was a lot of "Oh, I don't care. You choose" while he stared at his phone. But as soon as I made a choice, it wouldn't be what he wanted. I swear, he did this just to pick arguments over nothing, cause chaos, and just keep everyone home and angry like him. And yes, he was a controller (and narcissistic), just like his mother. Thank goodness I left!

@danitajminer3279 2 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@brendarudman8806 2 ай бұрын

My sister is someone you may not say no to- expect the tantrum from hell

@Lyrielonwind 2 ай бұрын

I have one I only have to say "you are wrong" and she looks like she's going to run up the walls.😂 When someone says I'm wrong I usually ask why or I tell them to convince me with arguments. Usually they repeat themselves, drop the conversation or use logical fallacies (I mean when I'm dealing with a narcissist or a manipulative person). Before becoming a teacher I was the kind of student who was afraid of asking questions or saying I didn't understand the explanation.

@Smartbeautifulawesome 2 ай бұрын

My ex husband acts like he is dating my mom and them. He can’t even speak to me it’s weird

@dennisrobinson8008 2 ай бұрын

What's going on?

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 ай бұрын

I'm sorry. That's not okay at all! That's a little concerning.

@Smartbeautifulawesome 2 ай бұрын

@@TherapistTamaraHill he has my number blocked and has a friendship/relationship with my mom and sisters. I really don’t know they live in a different reality. It’s confusing to me yeah he can’t talk about anything I really don’t know he tells me to shut up if I ask too many questions

@fifilafleur5555 Ай бұрын

He’s become their flying monkey. I am so sorry but I completely understand

@halfthebattleknowingis4862 2 ай бұрын

Any grass roots mental health organizations to reference, Tam??

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 ай бұрын

I wish I knew of some. The only ones that come to mind is NAMI and Deceptive Research Society. The other organizations I like and support are for professionals only. Hope this helps!