When Nice Guys Have A Meltdown

[@sarametzel]

"I'm not going to shackle you in my basement" That sounds like something someone who's going to shackle you in his basement would say.

[@digitalhuman5943]

For real there’s a case where a dude said the exact thing and he was locking women in his basement.

[@Crisjola]

It’s almost like I don’t cut up veggies and make jokes about stabbing because that would be unhinged. *Christ* what is wrong with men.

[@seeleunit2000]

Of course because these freaks are deranged. They don't see women as people.

[@shiina29]

This was the first time I thought someone who pulled that line arguably had something worse in mind.

[@rainbowrex3772]

Exactly, for him to even write that it had to have run thru his mind 😬

[@trashotaku]

It genuinely pisses me off that most of the time in order for stalking to be taken seriously, the stalking victim/s have to either be assaulted, threatened with physical violence, or have the home broken into, etc. It shouldn't have to get to that point and the police need to protect the victim/s before it gets to that point 🤬🤬🤬

[@SacredIntuition]

I know it'd so frustrating they're like wHeN hE HiTs YoU THEN CaLl uS ....tf Sharon!

[@debraadams7164]

According to SCOTUS the police have no duty to protect anyone. *Warren v. District of Columbia (1981)*

[@jennyjo798]

Agreed!! 💯

[@RedNymph234]

If police refuse to do their job, I bet our second amendment will 😉

[@trashotaku]

@@RedNymph234 what’s the second amendment again? I legit can never remember any of the amendments despite discussing them over and over in school lol

[@liviehollander6087]

Cops NEED to start taking stalking seriously. This guy is deranged.

[@SacredIntuition]

Yes that's an accurate description same thing happened to me last year I'm still recovering

[@mushpurple]

There was a guy I heard about recently that murdered his coworker after being rejected after stalking and repeatedly asking his coworker out. She reported him and all the coworkers knew he was badgering her and he didn't even get fired. When he shot her in the parking lot before work then himself multiple coworkers knew it was him killing her. Why does no one take this stuff seriously

[@khills]

I was told I should be flattered to have a man’s attention when I was stalked by a coworker. My job did more to protect me than the police ever did - I was a contractor at Apple, and not only did they fire the man who was stalking me, they moved me to work in a secure location neither he nor any of the other employees but my manager knew about, and eventually arranged for me to interview for other jobs and move completely away from the division where the stalker had any connections. They also arranged for me to be picked up to/from work for weeks, and for the two weeks around when they fired him, they put me up at a hotel. When the dude trespassed to try to contact me, security detained him and they pressed charges - and the police didn’t tell them they should be happy he was trespassing. 🤔 And again, I wasn’t an employee. I was a contractor. They didn’t have to do anything, but they did.

[@Khaegch-favh]

They wont because many of them use their resources to do it. Many cops stalk their exs or even current partners :/ And sadly ev3n when they do, the court will still happily give the stalker your personal information, force you to see them again in court or gaslight you right back into their sight. It's a mess

[@RedNymph234]

​@@mushpurplebecause society doesn't take women's fears and safety seriously

[@thewoolverine4420]

It's so important to talk about this. I was a victim of human trafficking at age 16. It was easy for them to get me because my parents didn't do a very good job of teaching me my worth. First boy who called me pretty locked me in a basement for 8 months and sold me to the father of my son. Stalking laws need to be AMENDED

[@kotoyumei]

I am so sorry you went through that, I hope your life is better now ❤

[@Bluebird-77]

WTH?! Holy smokes!! Was this in the states or another country?

[@thewoolverine4420]

@@Bluebird-77 Good old US of A my friend. Colorado to be exact

[@thewoolverine4420]

@@kotoyumei It's incredible now, thank you

[@Bluebird-77]

@@thewoolverine4420 OMG, that's horrible. I'm so sorry.

[@iamjackspyramidshapedhelmet]

It’s freakish how they don’t see us as human. He’s literally giving her a sales pitch as if all women want is money and we have no actual desires of our own. It’s so clinical and bizarre

[@Jupiter-T]

Yeah he has no concept of her outside of the details he's obsessively kept about her. He doesn't understand that even if she likes x, y, and z, him offering all those things doesn't mean she'll accept. This is real life, not a dating video game

[@culpabilis9181]

I feel like that’s the sort of sales pitch a rich merchant from the Dark Ages would have given some poor woman’s father in return for her hand in marriage. *Also, did you notice how he spoke of giving birth to tiny humans (aka creating a family) in the same business-like manner as his proposal?

[@danaondrackova3431]

exactly, he is like that TV guy offering you to get a car for the game you will play now or for everything you just won in that game

[@Zmiana_Pogody]

THIS! they see women as "sexual objects" only. not as fellow humans. and what is worse, they don't understand the difference. they don't see their own sexual desires underneath such behaviours.

[@na3rial]

Dude probably watched too many trad wives on tiktok and really thought all women just want to be props

[@miakilroy1239]

"Fat"---and there it is. The go-to when a #niceguy doesn't get what they want.

[@HoPeZz_N_DrEaMzz]

Ikr??!! It is LITERALLY the textbook "niceguy" who are everything but nice. They are scary and, vindictive, and EVIL PEOPLE. Ego is always too big and everyrhing is always HER fault... and they are doing u a FAVOR. Imagine being verbaly, and emotionally abused before u ever ever had a date with someone??!! Insane

[@wolfc8755]

That and "stupid". He also called her "stupid" multiple times. "Fat, stupid, and ugly" are the usual go-to for these guys. Even if they've never seen the woman.

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Or "you're pretty..... " Gurl politely rejects him ".....ugly" "I mean you're pretty ugly. I wasn't complementing you"

[@Anadrien]

Also "whore." He's filling out the bingo card pretty well.

[@micky_knuckles]

That man is an absolute freak. It's astonishing.

[@pillford4226]

"I wont ever make you accept me or my advances!" "ANYTHING LESS THAN AN EMPHATIC YES AND YOU'RE DONE FOR!!"

[@ametrineambrosia4929]

Omg yeah wtf

[@renoirrr]

or saying he won’t ever ask her for anything sexual but he wants her to come and accept him anyway so that she will fuck him… yeah

[@SincerelyMe-y3r]

"If you make one wrong move, then you're done for"

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

And how did he expect her to have all those babies he claimed to know she wanted?

[@mrosskne]

say yes then, dumb bitch

[@TexBirdie]

Good for her for not backing down! I am so proud of women who don't coddle these guys - we need stalking laws to help prevent this behavior from escalating.

[@dshe8637]

We also need to protect women from the consequences of them sticking up for themselves. Refusing a man's attentions can be very dangerous for women and girls.

[@maj0rsquish]

The moment she wasnt interested he called her fat.... Classic.

[@SharkNomNom-ns6qu]

Yep, and referred to her partner's dongle size as the ONLY POSSIBLE REASON SHE WANTS TO BE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

[@michellechair]

​@@SharkNomNom-ns6qu EXACTLY!!! they're all so damn shallow and self-absorbed that they genuinely can't compute that other people feel unconditional love and don't just care about superficial nonsense like they do

[@allisonhunter1063]

​@user-wh5ir4fo4rI had a guy hit on me SO HARD one night at the bar, I flirted back, but I knew EXACTLY who he was AND his reputation with the ladies. He was my best friends ex boyfriend sorry, fiance, who cheated on her w another chick, got with that girl, and they had such a toxic relationship that not only did he cheat on her CONSTANTLY, but they were in the Air Force and had a no contact order between him and his gf. So I waited until he asked for my number, he offered to buy me a drink. So I let him. And then I asked him, "Do you REALLY not recognize me? I know EXACTLY who you are, Neil, I'm Melisa's best friend. And I know all about you, your game, your gf you have a no contact order against. I know ALL of it. Do you REALLY think I'm stupid enough to fall for that?" He CLASSICALLY replied, "Whatever, you're fat anyways, I was just trying to see if I could." So I snapped back, "Really, that's interesting, I wasn't fat 10 seconds ago when you were trying to fuck me." EVERYONE on the patio patio started yelling and jumping around, pointing at him, laughing, like the video of those kids around the tree going "OOOHHH SHIT, SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT" lol. He walled away w his tail between his legs. Never bothered me again and Melisa about peed herself laughing so hard lmao. I had an old neighbor who stalked me for YEARS, CONSTANTLY sending me texts and fb messages trying to solicit me. I'm not a sex worker. Power to anyone who chooses to do that work. So after about 8 years of bs from him, blocking him so many times it's ridiculous. I found out he had a wife. I IMMEDIATELY messaged her and told her EVERYTHING, showed her the pictures I'd sent before the stalking but after they'd been together (which I didn't know about) and showed her EVERY message, text, you name it. She divorced him post haste. And after that, he STILL tried to contact me, so I said to him, "So either you're stalking me bc you want to wear my skin or you're in love with me. Which is it? Which were you willing to throw away your MARRIAGE for?" He has yet to reply.

[@JHasse-ne6xx]

Fat or stupid or something. But they try allways to shame you and belittle you.

[@JHasse-ne6xx]

@@SharkNomNom-ns6quMaybe thats the point where his Self conciousness lacks. Their weak points.

[@maggie6152]

If you get crap like this, the best way to respond is: "No. Do not contact me again in any way. If you do, know that every text/call will be recorded and compiled for a police report for a restraining order." Be a wall. Give them nothing.

[@themurrrr]

… it won’t work. Once they have decided to fixate on you, they just do.

[@Rockabelle]

Excellent advice.

[@elisabethdoss1953]

I had a semi-stalker about a year ago and I said this exact thing (not verbatim) and it worked. Haven't seen or heard from him since.

[@mommy3elizabeth]

Yes!!

[@michellechair]

exactly 💯 no amount of reasoning will work with these people. be clear that you aren't afraid to take legal action and ignore them

[@marcilk7534]

This is the type of guy who says “why don’t women want nice guys, like me.” You’re not a nice guy! We see through you.

[@HypocritesExposd]

Exactly. He was never a nice guy.

[@abbiereynolds8016]

Any time a man whines about how all women want bad boys and they always get rejected even though they're a "nice guy", that's an instant red flag for me. First of all, it's impossible to know what every woman wants or doesn't want, every woman is unique and has lived different lives that shape their desires. Painting all of them with one brush gives heavy "I only see women as trinkets not individuals with their own personalities" vibes. Second of all, if every single woman around you is rejecting you, it sounds like you're the problem. Work on yourself first before blaming almost 4 billion people for your shitty love life🙄

[@victoriadavislg]

Going after women that clearly aren’t interested in him as well and then getting upset about it. I’m sure there are women that would date this guy but he wants a “model”

[@Friendlyfirefish]

​@@abbiereynolds8016 I'm having fun on an incel channel stirring up these kinds of guys. Their mentality is wack. They make up any excuse to hate on someone from the opposite sex because the opposite sex isn't paying them the attention they think they are entitled to. And if someone doesn't agree with what they say? Well they are called a woman because in their little circle jerk women's opinions are worth less. It's just fortunate for women that at least the redflags they have are easy to spot.

[@CherylR-cr6iy]

💯💯💯

[@boring_elderly_millenial]

"I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly."

[@scatteredsol]

Nice one Ms Bennet!

[@ALuiza-pm2dp]

"As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me, I shall choose to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females." Always gave me nausea 😖 ... honestly his whole refusal of her rejection fits so perfectly here.

[@emilyrln]

Lizzie took no prisoners 😂😂😂

[@LadyJoolree]

Well, she was an obstinate headstrong girl. 😊

[@monejohn9973]

😅 She needs to leave the creep and her boyfriend , they both sound like losers😅

[@HLBear]

Ah yes.... the "you were meant to be mine" turns to "you're ugly and stupid." Classic danger sign. BTW, that "calling her by name all the time" is a creepy attempt at creating false intimacy. *shudder*

[@sarahloveless1726]

Which is kinda funny because the 1st thing you learn about I person is their name, so calling someone by their name means *less than nothing* to anyone with any sense

[@denise9735]

ITA re: him saying/writing her name so often.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Yes it’s emotional manipulation - bc when you hear or see your name it gets your attention and makes you feel “seen”… a creepy guy I know straight up told me this fact. I’ve had many creeps lurk after me over the years… I’m glad I’m married now. The lurkers tend to respect/fear other men. But I think they should respect/fear the pew pews all women should conceal carry.

[@jdizzy192]

It's fucking wild because I have online friends I've hung out with IRL that still don't know my actual name nor I theirs but we still tell each other everything. I swear these Nice Guys looked up "how to build intimacy" on Google and just click the first link

[@TheKrispyfort]

If I'm using someone's name repeatedly in writing it means I'm not happy with them. 😅

[@littleblueclovers]

Just adding this here: EVEN IF the creep was right and OP was unhappy with their current BF or life situation, that is NO REASON to even consider the creep as an alternative. A lot of “nice guys” like to use this as an argument. Remind yourself that you have the right to air your frustrations and still not want to get with a serial-killer of a human being. That’s like arguing “Why won’t you eat my bowl of nuclear waste? You complained about your chicken sandwich being dry! You said you were unhappy with it!”

[@venus_de_lmao]

it's like saying you're hungry when there's a perfectly good mostly uneaten hot dog on the sidewalk outside

[@Blackops2veteranDan]

Everyone KNOWS, if you don’t like your current partner, and a CREEP offers you take it! 😂

[@pie1o1morris46]

​​@@venus_de_lmao and it's a couple days old. In the summer time.

[@alosialee]

​@@pie1o1morris46 I mean honestly? I'd still rather eat that hotdog than accept that red flag of a trogladite, as she so elloquently put it. 😂😂😂

[@ob2kenobi388]

If I'm unhappy, it's because I have STANDARDS.

[@jennylewispixel]

Notice the moment she said no and challenged her stalker, he gaslit her so badly, INSTANTLY abusing and insulting her. Make no mistake, he's a cruel man hiding behind this 'niceties'. Imagine how he'd be if she married him. I shudder at the thought.

[@noodlemaz]

He insulted her. Gaslighting is a co-ordinated campaign of making a victim doubt their sanity by manipulating the world around them, lying is only one component of that - the internet's got a bit confused about this complex (and thankfully relatively rare) kind of abuse..!

[@Elketjeable]

​@@noodlemaz💯🎯

[@sarah12232]

@@noodlemaz he is attempting gaslighting too. he is declaring her desires and wants, he is declaring her partner's fallbacks, and he's clearly lying about this entire life he says he can financially support

[@serendipityshopnyc]

@@sarah12232 Even if he isn't lying about the financial support, he'd be using it to trap her in a golden cage, recite her many obligations to him, and make her sorry she was born on alternate days if not constantly.

[@lttle_mushroom]

the fact that it's literally the police's job to prevent people from getting hurt from stuff like this but instead they're waiting for that exact thing to happen so they can step in too late and say, "she should've told someone, it's her fault"

[@Galworld761]

Texas police sued in because they are there to apprehend and enforce not protect and serve. Therefore, crime prevention is not their job. They won. If she had a court order and he contacted her - they would enforce the order. It is soooo ridiculous.

[@planet-tyler666]

The police don't help people, they just harass the poor and pic. They don't prevent crime, they just do the cleanup. They don't prevent crime, a lot of them are just criminals w badges. Fun Fact: A large percentage of cops are wife beaters.

[@jacobs483]

That’s… exactly NOT what the police’s job is. It’s the fantasy that you are supposed to believe. The police literally do not have an obligation to protect anyone people from harm or deadly attack. This has legally been upheld in court cases. The police’s job is primarily to uphold the status quo, racially, financially and politically, through the threat of and the use of violence. This has always been the case, though in recent decades the police has propagandized themselves into a mythical, heroic role. They’re rich people’s thugs first, and white people’s thugs second. Always have been.

[@u2571man101]

Unfortunately it's not the job of the police to prevent crime. Police (at least in America) are supposed to arrest those who have committed or are committing a crime.

[@polydactylblackcat2218]

As a woman in tech.... I am tragically unsurprised by how unhinged this "man's" behavior is. Had a college classmate want to talk about "our relationship" after a grand total of buying coffee together once and hanging out outside of class for a grand total of mabye 3 hrs 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@khills]

Hah, I just related my experience with a stalker, and yep, in tech. Thankfully, Apple took it seriously, because the police didn’t.

[@rachelk4805]

Wow, three hours, when is the wedding? 😮‍💨

[@alexdoe784]

Oh yeah it is an odd landscape in tech. I'm grateful to be working remotely because it feels easier to detect and shut down before things get icky.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Parasocial Relationships are a helluva drug

[@leila13dnd]

It's insane how little is enough to make a man think you like him.

[@althealee9375]

“You owe me an explanation” SHE DOESN’T OWE YOU SHIT

[@insertwittyprofilenamehere]

Exactly what I thought when I heard that part

[@keepdancingmaria]

But you don't understand. He spent YEARS preparing! /s

[@HyperfixationStation]

"you owe me because I've fetishized you from the moment I saw you when you were 25 and I in my 40s. Why don't you want me"

[@hannahnewell305]

Exactly my ex when I broke up with him. Then, when I gave him a list of things that weren't working, he flipped out and said I was gaslighting him...while still claiming I never gave him an explanation. Riddle me that.

[@SirFluffy100]

​@@keepdancingmariaI know joke, but still hard to read.

[@bubblegum6753]

"I'm not a rapist". Given the fact that you had to say that, I won't take your word for it.

[@mondoseguendo6113]

He’s aware that he gives off rapist vibes.

[@juliaboskamp9666]

Like my dad said he never would hurt a woman or child, guess who was his favoriete punching bag.

[@testickles8834]

lowers the credibility for sure

[@fredmercury1314]

Yeah but you probably think all men are.

[@bethanye4205]

​@fredmercury1314 It's better than thinking no men are 🤷‍♀️

[@shelymarks952]

Not to mention how unbelievably frustrating it must be that the only reason he was able to find her home address and send her stuff was because he was able to find it on the court documents from her REQUEST FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER 💀

[@ad6723]

So true. You can’t get a restraining order without revealing your address. It makes a twisted sense legally bc the person needs to know where to avoid going, but it also alerts them exactly where the complainant is.

[@HarshMelon]

Not only did he never say, "These are the reasons I love you," he never said, "I love you." Not once did he express any type of affection for her, only ownership.

[@user-mw6jo7ql1c]

Typical psychotic narcissist

[@piscesinadream]

Evgeny if he had, or would still have been unwanted contact

[@NikkiMX]

Oh god, you're right

[@brenna7757]

Honestly terrifying😬

[@CandiceGoddard]

You do realise that for the last however many millennia of human history most marriages were social transactions not love matches, right? The clearly autistic incel was writing quite formally. Why would he say that he loved the subject? People who say I love you too quickly can also be love bombing using emotional manipulation, you're aware of this right? I think it's sad that people delusionally buy into the concept of romantic love when what they mean is sexual lust, hence the high levels of cheating, divorce and men unknowingly raising other men's children. What I don't understand is, if this guy is so bad, how come people like Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice when he did exactly the same thing? I even wrote a book about it because the hypocrisy is so funny.

[@Squidbush8563]

Yup. The "nice guy" formula. 1. simp and beg 2. full rejection 3. Angry name calling and/or threats 4. BLOCKED

[@Sinthecity]

It’s not simping. Simping is when you’re nice to someone, not when you’re stalking them.

[@Squidbush8563]

@@Sinthecity It always starts out with being nice and as soon as she doesn't show interest or rejects them outright, it's an instant 180 to stalking/threats

[@7ss-i1o]

@@Sinthecityyou don’t know what simp means 😐 simp is being overly desperate

[@mrosskne]

hope she sees this bro

[@Dark_heart888]

Here's the difference between a simp and a stalker, for a better understanding. SIMP= WILL SMITH STALKER= JOE GOLDBERG (NETFLIX SERIES- YOU)

[@lillibitjohnson7293]

He sounds like someone who’d keep people in his basement for 10 years.

[@positivelycat]

Only 10? Lol

[@lillibitjohnson7293]

@@positivelycat I was presuming the girls would escape after 10 lmfao

[@1CurlyB]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@SharkNomNom-ns6qu]

Exactly the vibe I was getting too. No work, just babies and some pottery. Nothing else to do or see down there, right?

[@untitled-gv3qp]

What goes on in someone's head where they not only think to write all of that out but to believe that someone will accept his outlandish proposal? How warped does your perception of women have to be for you to feel comfortable making those kinds of demands?

[@janicecampbell2715]

The scariest part is the anticipation of when the violence starts. Why women chose the bear.

[@FairbrookWingates]

Exactly. Bear is just being a bear. A man chooses to be a red flag or a green flag.

[@monejohn9973]

Exactly 😅I had a fake As guy friend for over 15 years 😅 once he had a kid & finally relieved I would never date him,he turned into a disrespectful f00l! And like this guy he was ug ly😅sooooooooooo many guys refuse to acknowledge we don't find them attractive!

[@j15n5ll5]

I've been "gently stalked" like this before, and it is no less creepy for the lack of violence. In fact, it was rather MORE terrifying because there was the sense of impending threat...like they wouldn't threaten you, they'd just hurt you with no warning when the niceties didn't work. How terrible for this woman!

[@obscurum6]

It is violent. He is inducing stress, fear and anxiety on her. It's psychological violence and abuse.

[@usagiroxie]

Indeed. If you feel uneasy around someone, I would trust that feeling. It's not always as in your face as in this case though. Also, women are taught to be agreeable and that can cloud judgement. All I can say is trust your instinct.

[@amarketing8749]

My first thought was take the letter to a judge and get a restraining order.

[@obscurum6]

@@amarketing8749 Restraining orders aren't that easy to get. I knew a woman whose husband threw things at her head. Threw her dog out of a window. Tried to break her jaw and he was abusive to her every day, he even drugged her, but it took two separate tries at a restraining order as the first judge believed his bs.

[@Kirmeins]

Sadly, I know exactly what you're talking about...

[@AProfColleenBKelly]

As the Chair of the International Anti-Slavery Commission, we see this all the time. It starts as stalking, and then the girl disappears and never seen again. 300,000 women go missing EVERY YEAR in the USA. On behalf of the IASC, thank you @DustinPoynter for seeing this for what it truly is as stalking can often be the first start of a very sick, and very deadly, form of slavery.

[@grenade8572]

It's frightening! Can you explain more how stalking can lead to slavery?

[@pixeldragon7899]

oh my god yeah like... ive got nowhere near the sort of credentials that you do but as i listened all the "oh yeah youll totally still be able to hang out with your friends and family, i swear i wont force you to do anything" like red flag red flag red flag. fully believe he was gonna do all those things once he had her in the house

[@andrewcharlton6080]

@@grenade8572Do you really need to ask?

[@grenade8572]

@@andrewcharlton6080 Yeah. Coz me stupid. Me can't understand by myself.

[@skyejohnson5144]

Would it be possible to start a community or commission body that all reports of stalking are filtered through to act as potential suspects in kidnappings and human trafficking? Maybe a hotline that women (and men) can report behaviour like this to? May not do much for immediate problems, but it could catch repeat offenders and be a body of information that may lead to connections in the slavery world. Maybe something like this already exists and needs to be shared more.

[@rebellyanmagic6409]

I love how he says he will 'let her' maintain her 'womanly' friendships. Because of course El Creepo doesn't want her to have any male friends.

[@anz10]

yeh let her, as if she needs his permission to keep those friendships in the first place.. Clearly it means he's reluctantly telling her that, which means he doesn't want her to have friends because she's never meant to leave the lake house or the numerous kids she had with hi2m under duress.. so many levels and signs of creepy and this is just one of them.

[@IrishNerd93]

I mean, my stalker told me we could have "new friends" since mine weren't up to par for him

[@HyperfixationStation]

@@IrishNerd93 ewww im so sorry

[@katyungodly]

If your partner doesn't trust you to have friends of the opposite sex, RUN. That is projection and shows that they could not have an opposite-sex friend without cheating on you, so they think you'd do the same 🚩🚩🚩

[@baffledbat]

@@IrishNerd93eeekkkk, hope you’re out of that situation!

[@alexanderleggett7679]

The devil shivers when a nice guy loses his temper. Not out of fear, but he's just super uncomfortable.

[@jupo9928]

"i know you want freedom... I can give you freedom in my carefully constructed cage"

[@sabrinamystified]

😅😅😅🙃 Scary stuff

[@ScubaFanatic60]

This guy gives off Joe vibes from the show You.

[@a.c.6601]

Exactly!!! He acts as if she has no autonomy - where the fuck is the ‘freedom’ in that?

[@Nodeal757]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING 😅😂 creepy joe ​@@ScubaFanatic60

[@Elketjeable]

Could be categorized under; The "romantic" side of Jeffrey Dahmer..

[@AuDHio_Recordings]

There's a podcast called Strictly Stalking, where stalking victims share their stories and the horrendous struggle they have or had in getting taken seriously, or having their stalker face consequences. I can't remember which episode it was in, but one quote hit me hard and has stuck with me: "Stalking is murder in slow motion." (Edited podcast title. Darn autocorrect.)

[@kweenadafool]

The last line stopped me mid chew of my granola 😟

[@thehistoricalcollaborator]

@@kweenadafoolsame

[@AuDHio_Recordings]

@@kweenadafool Yeah, I had to pause the episode and process when I heard it.

[@bestthingeverbyjenn]

Wooooow 😢

[@jamiehambel5781]

Wow. Powerful quote and 100% accurate.

[@danayneal4409]

"I won't keep you shackled in the basement" Narrator: Actually, he ordered shackles 3 weeks ago in preparation.

[@MrBaconFlavor]

😂🤣🤣

[@lifewuzonceezr]

And that sounded like MF for me😂

[@MsAubrey]

@@lifewuzonceezrme too! 😂

[@danayneal4409]

@@lifewuzonceezr Love him! 😍

[@emilybrumbaugh7242]

Probably for his mistresses

[@OwlyOwlman]

"I am mature" proceeds to handle rejection like a 6 year old.

[@Nezukoscat]

Comparing him to a six year old is an insult to six year olds everywhere

[@monejohn9973]

Like most men 😅I never meet 1 who fs off not even my evil brother

[@mobabyhomeslice]

If you have to reassure a woman that you're not a rapist or a creep, or that you pinky promise not to shackle her up in the basement....you're DEFINITELY gonna shackle her up in the basement.

[@samanthamccue9942]

It is so refreshing to have a man truly listen and try to understand the absurd shit women go through. Thank you for defending us

[@Lino0888]

TRUTH!

[@MyDerekcantbethiscute]

Both have it hard

[@aelwynwitch9460]

​@@MyDerekcantbethiscuteNo one cares Daniel.

[@ninetailedfox579121]

​@@MyDerekcantbethiscuteI mean there's a reason that the stereotypical incel is a guy. Sure there are some crazy girls out there but there are way more crazy guys.

[@RockTheBlock11]

Bro caught a stray jeezz​@@aelwynwitch9460

[@coolsage999]

"I've always known you were supposed to be mine as soon as I met you." That one sentence alone is deeply disturbing. Imagine meeting someone for the first time and feeling not even love, but an intense feeling of possession. Nobody belongs to nobody, this is not love at first sight, it's at best problematic entitlement and at worst something far, far worse...

[@LillyMarz777]

As someone that experienced love at first sight that is exactly right.

[@tealkerberus748]

People as property? That's called slavery. So surprising that a free woman doesn't want to become a slave, no matter how much gold on the cage!

[@redxross]

Thanks for posting this. I've experienced "nice guy stalking" and had to defend myself against friends and relatives who mistook it for honorable intentions. This behavior is vicious, and equivalent to outright threatening a woman or acting in a way that overtly dehumanizes her.

[@kerigordon2092]

“The independent woman facade you engage in” Bro, what facade?! From the sounds of it, she is literally an independent woman; we do exist dude. I watched the whole video, but this and the body shaming comments are what pissed me off the most. You are in your 40’s Sir, act your damn age.

[@souxcasa]

What?! We're not all just faking it til we find the right man?

[@goblinofsharksnacks]

Some men genuinely believe women just cant do what they can When theres a huge uptake of women learning to do things now, skill sets aren't gender restricted like they seem to believe I do basically everything myself, its fun and i like learning and i dont have to wait or rely on others

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

I got a college degree, work a full time job, support myself, bought my car, bought my house, volunteer in the community, but he caught me- it's all a facade 😂

[@imitationporcelain]

I mean yeah why would he want a financially independient women who can leave him at the first red flag,he need to have her totally dependant on him so at least for her survival she will tolerate all his bs behavoir right? this behavoir IS not only a red flag IS a waving angry flag on fire 😂

[@wolvie1618]

Plus he was talking about her paying for her own lunch when she was working. Who else do you expect to pay for your lunch? You're not a child and you're not close to these people, expecting someone else to pay for your stuff when that wasn't agreed upon is weird.

[@sierrajohnson717]

The park running makes the cringe/horror more bearable

[@DustinPoynterVideos]

Me running through a public park nonstop for an hour in 106 degree heat for this video was worth it then 🚩

[@petrastedman669]

​@@DustinPoynterVideos please make sure you're hydrating! It's 10-15 degrees hotter where I am, and I have to drink half a gallon just to go check the mailbox.

[@OfficialCourtesyCourtie]

I second this. 2:03

[@brendanolt00]

Not sure if his perfect typing is a good or bad sign of a psychopath...😅

[@Jax-id8yt]

@@DustinPoynterVideos I was aboutta say something about noooo your gonna die its too hot, but then i remembered i do basically the same thing lmao

[@milapartment]

“I know I’m 45 and you’re 32 but YOU are the one who needs to start thinking about settling down. I’m not the desperate one you are” 🤣

[@kerriwolfton3195]

We all know it’s him.

[@havcola6983]

I guess that was a 'biological clock' comment? Because she clearly _was_ settled with her partner.

[@koyelmonzer2720]

Typical shit of this kind of men. I would never judge anyone for choosing their career over building a family and start looking for partners later in age. Sure, I mean, if you want to accomplish certain things in your life/career first it’s your right to do so. BUT PLEASE don’t start pestering and harassing women to marry you because you’re getting older now and want to establish a family RIGHT NOW as if other people don’t have their own preferences/plans/ relationships like in this story. If you want to marry someone go into the dating scene, look for partners who ARE interested in you or even what you offer. Maybe learn to know them for their personality or what they are. Don’t harass them and force yourself on them🙂 And maybe just don’t pursue people in a relationship. And don’t stalk them. And save your money you spent on “gifts“ for them for someone who MIGHT like you for who you are (talking about Elroy here😅).

[@catbatrat1760]

@@koyelmonzer2720 This is good advice for a man (or woman) who hasn't gotten to that point of delusional aggression yet, but for Elroy specifically, I really hope he doesn't find anyone because he probably won't treat them any better. :(

[@nigtcore101]

It’s giving “pick me!” Vibes 😂

[@helenali2471]

All I hear is, "Hey, if you're already settling for that guy, you might as well settle for me. Don't settle for a loser. Settle for me a total creep."

[@keekers]

Abuse victims, if you're filing court papers against your abuser, you can request that your personal information be hidden/blacked out in the court papers available to the abuser and their attorney. Please remember this and keep it in mind. Ask the courthouse how to do it when the case/divorce/restraining order is being filed.

[@Shannon_Stamm]

I wish I'd known that when I filed my restraining order. I had to move out of state. Thank you so much for sharing that!

[@emilybrumbaugh7242]

I filed a restraining order and stated I didn't want them to know my address so what does the judge do but announce it in court in front of everyone

[@natural3362]

​@@emilybrumbaugh7242 yikes! So what's the solution?

[@stephengrigg5988]

That.... seems like it should be standard.

[@Indigo_Shard]

@@emilybrumbaugh7242 HECKING SUE

[@JD-dh7bk]

Guys that say they are a "nice guy" are never actually a nice guy. And justice system is set up to protect the stalker. She will always have to be careful. And that is just sad.

[@IllumInator-sv3tl]

Fr! Poor woman will have to change her name to have any hope. Restraining orders don’t do sh!t but give them your address. It’s so scary it’s not automatically jail for them like it should be.

[@Insertia_Nameia]

"Nice" and "good" aren't the same as being "kind". They're airs that you can put on.

[@LuVenBen]

"nice guy" and "kind gentleman" are two veeeerrryyy different things.

[@CordeliaWagner1999]

Changing Nameserver doesn't help against online stalking and cyberware on your Devices. My Stalker has Software on my Smartphone.

[@ten40tv]

@@LuVenBen thank you. Someone finally found the words for it. Nice guy thinks they are owed something because they have done something nice. Kind gentlemen do kind things expecting nothing in return. Nice guy tells her how lucky she is to have a guy like him on HER date. A kind gentleman talks about how lucky he is to be on a date with an amazing girl like her. Very different indeed.

[@sirennightshade4977]

This reminds me of the story of a lady who quit her job to very unexpectedly discover that one of her male coworkers had been completely obsessed with her for YEARS. She learned this when he dropped off like 40 journals at her home written entirely about his thoughts about her, how sexy she was, and the life he wanted them to live, including how many kids they'd have and so on. And this despite the fact that they very rarely even spoke directly at work. She posted tons of pictures of the journal entries and as horrifying as they were, she said they weren't even the WORST of the bunch. That entire story was a trip down psychosis, man.

[@lindsey4546]

This is terrifying. also what is she supposed to do with those journals? nothing good can come of that. 💀

[@hopesanddreams2998]

Where can I find this story?

[@enslavedvessel]

I read this story and saved it on my pinterest but it's on a private board as an example of "nice guys" to stay away from. I'd have to dig it up to post to one of my public boards. This was the story I was thinking about as he read this one lol.

[@teakix6366]

I think i know which story you're talking about. The journal entries she posted were so steeped in delusion that it was extremely unnerving just reading it.

[@pillote1584]

@@hopesanddreams2998sorrowtv made a special feature of it :}

[@lolabloo]

I was shocked by her response. I would have zero interest in explaining myself, defending myself, etc. I would ask they stopped contacting me or I would get police involved. That's it.

[@katiedickson0820]

“The independent woman facade you engage in wouldn’t be necessary.” Woooowww im only this far in and I’m already pissed 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Insertia_Nameia]

It's like guys like this really don't understand how people work. Like when he talks about her wanting have free time to indulge in her hobbies more bit like she doesn't want it just handed to her (even disregarding the creepy monster vibes.) Amd he goes on to assume he knows her better then herself in so many ways (like the bit about kids.)

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@Insertia_Nameia they are narcissistic they live in a fantasy world of entitlement

[@breathoffreshair7795]

@@Insertia_Nameiathey dont, theyre true apathetic individuals, if you asked them “how would you feel if i did THAT to you?” Theyd be confused af

[@Insertia_Nameia]

@@breathoffreshair7795 they always insist its different because "wahmen" and all wahmen are lazy and hate to work.

[@catbatrat1760]

@@breathoffreshair7795 Actually, this makes me really curious. Has anyone ever tried doing that? How'd the "nice guy/girl" respond?

[@sierrajohnson717]

Imagine planning out someone’s ENTIRE LIFE FOR THEM, and then not informing said person until “you were ready/couldn’t take it.” Imagine the cashier you see at Walmart has been planning your future children’s names or something

[@8g36gi]

​@@TwisterTornado if you weren't asking for anything more personal than a band I feel like that's fine lol, at least compared to this story...

[@AleTitan]

​@@TwisterTornadoto be fair "hey, wanna be in a band?" is more of a random question thatn a creepy one.

[@Conicee]

This is the reason stalking is a felony in alot of places. It is a scary thing and can very easily escalate to someone like this guy offing her or worse. This level of obsession about someone else is NEVER ok. Just hearing thses texts makes my skin crawl

[@Skarlett.Rose.Ink.]

Sadly, in most places they won't do anything about stalking until something bad has already happened. It's horrible. It took my door being kicked in and me being beaten half to death for rejecting him one final time after rejecting and reporting him for 21 months. The cops didn't do anything until my neighbour called the cops and reported a home invasion at my place. Even worse? He was released the next day on bail, and ended up hiding out in a basement a half a block away from me, and breaking back into my house 4 days after release. In the end? He served 2.5 months in jail. That's it. Then, after the no contact order and his probation finished he started leaving notes on my door at the new place I had moved to, and the cops did nothing, again, because the letters "weren't threatening".

[@nac.mac.feegle]

The employer didn't address it right away. That may not be a crime, but it should be worthy of a civil suit.

[@nac.mac.feegle]

@@Skarlett.Rose.Ink. When a supreme court...I think it was TX, ruled that domestic abusers couldn't be denied the right to carry guns, well, I guess we shouldn't have been surprised. Just about the time that the murderer of Trayvon Martin was found not guilty because of the BS "stand your ground" law, a woman was sentenced to something like 30+ years for firing a gun, not at her long time abuser, but as a warning shot. Same state. It's such BS.

[@tezzanoia]

​@@Skarlett.Rose.Ink.Damn, that's so horrible and scary, I'm so sorry you went thought that and basically got no help with the situation until he had already harmed you (not that they really did a whole lot after either). If I may ask, have you been able to get out of this guy's reach since? I really wish you that that was possible

[@Skarlett.Rose.Ink.]

@@tezzanoia I really appreciate that, thank you. And I unfortunately still live in the same city as him, but on the complete opposite corner of the city, however I am a tattoo artist, and I own my own tattoo shop, so it's difficult to become invisible. I don't do much of anything anymore outside of home except work, run with my dogs, work with the volunteer organization I volunteer for, and do my groceries because I'm afraid to run into him. He hasn't left any letters at my newest home yet, but I've only been here for about 4.5 months, so time will tell I suppose. He does still call the shop and occasionally leave love letters and greeting cards taped to the front shop window though, sometimes even when the shop is open and full of people.

[@ShannonWaitas]

This is why we'd rather pick the bear. There are some men that no matter what or how, they do not get it. Also, I feel like taking her all those places could be a setup for trafficking. This is terrifying. I am terrified for her, and I do not have any idea who she is!

[@mjasian5829]

This is normally why people pick animals over humans, like there was a women that sliced up her partner and now this, humans are capable of too much horrendous things and at some point we gotta hit reset and hope an asteroid hits us

[@davinasquirrel7672]

I think most of us would be picking an entire den of bears at this point.

[@ShannonWaitas]

@davinasquirrel7672 all the bears. All. Of. Them!

[@jbl404]

Honestly it's not the first time I've heard people be surprised at a woman being upset about unwanted affection. "Why are you upset?" or "You're just being dramatic. He likes you!" Unfortunately. God this is chilling.

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

we live in a culture where little boys bullying little girls means "oh he just likes you" it starts already from the playground at age 2.

[@kiddchris9579]

​@@KossolaxtheForesworn I saw a video where a dad bought his son cupcakes for school after a girl said she didn't like him that way. He told his son to make sure she didn't get one that way she would know "how much she missed out on" 🤦🏾‍♂️ what I saw was a child being taught how to be vindictive towards girls that aren't interested so it definitely starts young

[@nancythane4104]

Yes. That BS about 'liking' starts in kindergarten. "So he pulled your hair and punched you~~that means he LIKES YOU, and you should be KIND to him!" Says the child's PARENTS AND TEACHERS!!

[@Ubeube182]

I was told that "he was just shooting his shot" when a man cat called and yelled at me while I was at work...in front of customers...and he was working too. I was told I was being overdramatic for not appreciating him doing that, and feeling uncomfortable. He was a 6ft+ heavyset older man when I was 20.

[@OnePoetWanderer]

@@Ubeube182 My boss wouldn't let us leave our last names off our nametags after we asked if we could because patients would call us up at home (pre cell phone days) to ask us out. Men just genuinely don't understand what it is like to be a woman. (The irony is that I ended up marrying a patient and we just celebrated our 25th anniversary. And he's the greenest of green flag guys.)

[@HoPeZz_N_DrEaMzz]

He said he wouldnt force her i to sexual encounters BUT THEN says he needs her loyalty, and sexual companionship or sum shh. Wtff

[@dangerxbadger2300]

He actually used the word "prowess" 🤮🤮🤮

[@wolfc8755]

"Sexual prowess" are the words he used. That's some hella high bar.

[@Scootaskyeee]

He also mentioned children. There's only one way to make them

[@goingferalluvs]

Notice how ge also said he wouldn't hold her back from "womanly" friendships and family. Hmm, nothing specific about male friends so you know his thoughts on that

[@annedavis3340]

​@@Scootaskyeee you mean adoption right? That's for sure the only way I would make kids in this scenario 😂😂😂

[@emeeeeyy]

The dude saying he's waiting for her ACCEPTANCE of his offer and not her RESPONSE was the first sign on crazy

[@sunnylilacs]

I’d say messaging in the first place was crazy, but that the first sign was at least when he bought a cruise ticket without her consent (and almost 100% certain there were further signs before that).

[@emeeeeyy]

@@sunnylilacs Completely agree!

[@feraltaco4783]

@@sunnylilacs compounded by the fact that he literally told the judge about his non-existent relationship with her.

[@rogerhutcheson7281]

Yeah like a sales pitch... A HARD sales pitch. SMH 🙄

[@feraltaco4783]

@@rogerhutcheson7281 there's less pressure when you buy a car. 🤣

[@Jane-bd3kn]

Thank you so much for taking this as seriously as it needs to be. To hear you acknowledge the devastating impact this "nice guy" bullshit can have on women's lives is really reassuring. Love your content! And your heelkicks! ❤❤❤

[@Wolfdette]

"you are so shallow" he says, not realising that choosing someone based on money/lifestyle would be the eptomine of shallow. Got literal chills while reading along, this is so scary

[@MissMoontree]

He called her shallow for not leaving a 11 yo relationship and being loyal.

[@tychopanda]

"You are so shallow" he says, while focusing mostly on her weight and "sexual prowess" 😣

[@sandpiperr]

@@MissMoontree It wasn't even just about her relationship. Maybe she was unhappy in her relationship and would have been better off finally leaving that guy. However, that doesn't mean she needs to get with this guy. This guy also expected her to abandon her career, her home, the entire life she's built for herself, and you can tell it's because he's been consuming the type of content that says that all modern women are unfulfilled and would be happier as tradwives, even if they don't realize it yet!

[@neversaw]

Troglodyte is such a beautiful insult. The cops gaslighting her into feeling like she should like it is wild.

[@blessedcocoa5729]

It is.

[@nancythane4104]

She should have lawyered up and sued both HIM AND THOSE STUPID COPS!!

[@tsalVlog]

it's beyond wild. it's criminal and those cops should never get access to a badge again.

[@Chuckakhan]

I’m sorry to inform you that troglodyte is kinda racist. It’s derived from the Ancient Greek word for Ethiopian.

[@blessedcocoa5729]

@@Chuckakhan there is no proof it was used in a racist context. It is derived from trōglodutēs which was an Ancient Greek word for Ethiopian (meaning cave dweller) but that in no way indicates racism. You have just assumed it was racist

[@finixfire8323]

These predators are so in love with their idea of what the victim should be like, instead of what they actually are. He is enforcing his image of her on her. And if he really wanted just a loyal sugar baby, there's no shortage of that. He's an obsessive creep to be continuously forcing himself into her life.

[@sopsopspastenkind]

But sadly a lot of people are just loving the idea of what their significant other should be like instead of actually seeing and loving the person they really are.

[@tealkerberus748]

Aye. But this sort have such hateful views about sex workers that they'd never accept a sugar baby as their partner. They want a woman who will exchange sex for money, without her being someone who exchanges sex for money - and then wonder why they can't get any takers.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

@@tealkerberus748 agreed! Superb point!!

[@UselessShyte]

I think him saying “I won’t keep you shackled in a basement” is actually foreshadowing EXACTLY what he would do…

[@thembill8246]

I love how he, in every text, only talks about how excited he is for her to accept it, basically having apparently given no forethought to her ever possibly having a different reaction. To these people, love and affection are transactional, just to be bought or exchanged for goods and services.

[@HelenCamile63]

I dated someone like this. Big mistake. What he’s doing is called love bombing and it’s a grift to gain control over the person being bombed. When the victim doesn’t meet expectations, the gaslighting begins. If the victim still doesn’t meet expectations, the criticism begins. This guy documented the entire process of a malignant narcissist trying to win someone.

[@veronikahorak8449]

worth mentioning, with someone like this, the victim will never meet their expectations because they're impossible to meet and unrealistic. so the victim will be abused no matter how hard they try to apease the abuser. im so sorry you went thru that.

[@AmyKozerski]

Is this love bombing or obsessive love disorder? There was no connection or relationship to leverage.

[@Wellnseddich]

I don't think this is lovebombing, I think he's suffering from erotomania.

[@daughterphoenix]

@@AmyKozerskia coworker relationship is still a relationship. Acquaintances still have a relationship. You don’t need to be dating to love bomb someone

[@dietotaku]

i also wouldn't call it criticizing so much as negging. criticism implies some degree of constructive feedback, negging is just hearing someone unload on you about how shit you are "but i forgive you because i love you."

[@eenix0]

Real quick pro tip here from someone who has been through it: I LOVE that she kept one channel open, i did it too. Mute them, archive the conversation, but keep one channel open for collecting evidence for legal action. Laws around stalking are awful, but every little bit of evidence you can collect helps, and occassionally they might "out" themselves in a way the police will actually act on. So when people are like "why dont you just block him": dont. Collect EVERYTHING.

[@fuzzyboots123]

Good to know 'cause I was sitting here thinking I would of just blocked him after the first message

[@AutumnintheNorth]

This is the way.

[@kittytomaszewski236]

This 100%!!! Be careful and as safe as you can be, but for sure get every single thing you can. No matter how mundane it may seem. That could be the piece that allows the police to actually do something.

[@jennyleona5703]

NOTED!

[@BlueCyann]

Hundred percent, from somebody who has also been there. Leave that one means of (apparent) contact open for them to use, but never respond to it in any way (including other people doing so on your behalf). I never actually had to get law enforcement involved; the stalker lost interest in a couple months. I'm not going to say it would work that well for every stalker and obviously it can't be applied in every situation, but I vehemently believe it's the approach that keeps you safest.

[@phoebeschram1787]

I got chills. By the last message I was having flashbacks to my stalker. People dismiss how dangerous stalkers are.

[@doodlethealien8889]

If someone feels the need to constantly reaffirm something (ie. i won’t hurt you, I won’t lock you up) they’re basically just telling on themselves and I wanna cry

[@antediluvianatheist5262]

'this is my wife that I definately don't beat.'

[@horaspeher3368]

Especially when trying to sound like they expect praise for that? Like "Oooh, he COULD shackle me in the basement, but he CHOOSES not to 😍 WHAT A GENTLEMAN"

[@tychopanda]

​@@horaspeher3368It's like that one nice guy who expected praise for not raping his drunk friend.

[@anniefemmas5097]

Here in Latin America there is a saying: "Explicación no pedida, Culpabilidad asumida" Which translated is "Explanation not requested, guilt assumed" It means that if you explain something, like "I won't do X, Y etc. to you without asking, you are assuming that you can and will do it." And like a child whose mother comes home and says "I didn't eat the chocolate" without the bad girl accusing him of anything, the first thing you're going to think is, "Oh, he ate the chocolate."

[@deusex9731]

​@@anniefemmas5097its such an interesting concept. Someone who actually is nice or not a creep, would never think that they would be accused of being it, so they have no need to clarify (unless they are actually wrongly accused)

[@Misty713]

Honestly, I'm not shocked it took so long for the police to do anything. When escaped from my abusive father, they tried to gaslight me into thinking that him stalking me online and in public was okay behavior. That he was just "worried" about me. If you're a person in distress 9/10 you'll be ignored

[@anjafrohlich1170]

They always make excuses for parents.

[@tuesday555]

I’m sorry that happened to you 💔

[@meta-metta]

The same thing happened to me with my "father". I feel you. Even the women's legal centre were completely useless.

[@Tuesday_Mourning]

My god The gaslighting!!! You hit the nail on the head there. No matter what the relationship context is, if you find you need to go to court to assert your boundaries, first thing you need to do is prepare for the gaslighting. You better know yourself, and your reasons, and be ready to be strong while you stand in them alone and have people tell you it's ridiculous that you think you should have boundaries respected

[@PyrrhaStone]

Crazy how I experienced almost this exact same thing. Mine went as far as driving past my house at odd hours (cause someone had told him where I lived & worked without checking with me first) and started showing up at my workplace asking for me. I worked at a grocery store, so it was easy for him to come in to try to find me, and most of my coworkers & managers never took it seriously. One time, when a friend I had that worked at the front of the building told me that he was in the store, I decided to hide in the backroom & just do work back there until I got the all clear that he'd left. While in the backroom, I had my ASM come over and ask me "well did he ever actually do anything to you?". She asked that after I'd already explained that for 7 years of my life he mentally & emotionally abused me, that he'd lock me in my room for hours or sometimes days, that he wouldn't allow me to eat, and had "attempted" to perform multiple exorcisms on me. She didn't think that he was a problem because HE never physically harmed me (he just instigated the physical abuse from some of the other crazy people at his church-cult). But you know, being told I was possessed & needed to be exorcized on numerous occasions, which involved 4 adults holding me down while he "prayed" over me, doused me in holy water, and shoved prayer beads in my mouth (just to name a few), wasn't enough to count as HIM abusing me. Ended up having to quit that job, move, change my name, and delete all social media accounts to get him to leave me alone. The courts wouldn't issue a restraining order because I was never taken to the hospital for any of the physical abuse and they wouldn't take the word of my therapist or psychiatrist because they thought I could just be exaggerating or straight-up lying to them to make it sound worse than it was. I had already been diagnosed with an eating disorder & severe PTSD because of this man, not to mention that I constantly lived in fear once he found me, but they didn't think it was "that serious". It's absolutely ridiculous that our justice system is so often built to protect the abusers & not the victims.

[@heyysimone]

I am still on only the first message and all i can think is "oh, a cabin by the lake? Yeah, hes gonna chain her up in the basement".

[@petrfedor1851]

Remote location far from civilisation? He don't need chains, that's already horror story setting.

[@hyenacub]

Right?? "I'm gonna totally bring you to an isolated location, but you totally can still see your friends and family." Sorry, "womanly" friends.

[@-anaamna5616]

I thought he will dispose of her body in the lake

[@macpro75]

@@hyenacub I almost spit out my drink at _womanly._ Ugh!

[@hyenacub]

@@macpro75 I know, who tf uses that word like that lol. Do her friends have "womanly wiles"? XD

[@xerofelix7090]

So, from an afab perspective... there's a reason she responded so bluntly. 1) If this every gets taken to HR, or to the police, her responding nicely could be construed as consent. She has to bluntly tell him "No, this is inappropriate. Please stop." if she ever wants to have any hope of him receiving consequences for his actions. 2) Being nice DOES NOT WORK. It doesn't stop men from lashing out when rejected, and it often encourages them to continue the harassment thinking that you're "being coy".

[@ajjamsen694]

'Read between the lines or the bars...' LMAO new favorite line

[@m310grass]

Timestamp please?

[@ThatLadKit]

I want it on a tshirt tbh 😂

[@savannahbergen4984]

It's "read between the lines or look between the bars"

[@ajjamsen694]

​@@m310grass 7:19

[@Nashville4N6]

Great line!

[@clusmanfamily1155]

That bit about promising to not hurt her reminded me of a book I read about personal security. The author said it’s common for rapists and murderers to promise to not do exactly what they plan to do. They’re showing their cards. If I were her, I’d disappear before he disappears her 😬😰

[@BlackFairy-zk7wl]

Exactly.

[@renclear3825]

I remember hearing a story where a teenage boy said to a man "it's not like I have a gun" And the man drove off because obviously he either had one or could do worse without the need of one. I have always found these statements even more terrifying because of a full-grown man(I was like in elementary when I heard it lol) found that bone chilling, then it's serious and you should trust your instincts.

[@brigetteedinborough9541]

If you can remember the name of that book, I’d be grateful. I’ve been safety focused lately and want to know if I’m doing it right.

[@SarahPert]

​@@brigetteedinborough9541do you mean the Rules of Recon?

[@clusmanfamily1155]

@@brigetteedinborough9541 of course! The author is Gavin de Becker and the book is The Gift of Fear. If you Google him you’ll likely find some podcast interviews you can check out too.

[@terrynorton4561]

Her responses were spot on - no Ms Nice gal. People like him don't see a polite refusal as a refusal. Loved her last response to the letter; there were times in my life I wish I had said something like that.

[@BinaBecker]

Exactly. They see the politeness, not the refusal. And they think "if she's being polite to me, that means I have a chance!"

[@Youre-Welcome]

I thought she was waaaay too kind.

[@hurricaneofcats]

As a woman I often try to be polite when men do something intimidating. It's this reflex where you're scared but trying to avoid setting them off. The last thing you want is for them to get even angrier. While aggression sometimes works better it feels way more risky against someone who is bigger, stronger and more powerful than you. Politeness is admittedly, a flawed strategy, but it does work sometimes. A lot of women have been conditioned to act this way. As a victim, it's really hard to escape that programming or know when to stop using that strategy.

[@lotstodo]

She was too nice. And the penis size comment is so creepy. All of it is creepy. I hate stalkers. Mine sent letters and his picture. I'd tear up the picture while scanning for death threats.

[@BlueCyann]

But you'll note that even the rudeness didn't work. He continued to stalk her for literal years. (I'm assuming the legal resolution that was mentioned is him finally winding up in jail. But he probably won't be there for very long, and this could continue after he's out.) *How* you talk to these people isn't the key here. The key is *whether* you talk to them. Basically, anything at all that you give them that shows you're paying attention to them furthers the obsession. This includes sending over your big scary friend to have a chat, this includes getting the cops involved. Your best bet is giving them nothing. Let their words and their actions fall into a void. I'm not saying it's always going to work. For all I know, this woman and her boyfriend did exactly that for an extended period of time, or the risk of violence grew so serious that they had no choice but to try to convince law enforcement to do something. But it definitely can work (it did for me), and it's the only way of dealing with them that can never be seen as an active provocation.

[@hot-pink-beast]

18:56 thank you so much for everything you said here. It heals a little part of me when men call this out because even though women are obviously aware (unfortunately through experience oftentimes), men often don’t recognize this behaviour as bad/dangerous because it’s more common and their friends aren’t “bad guys” so they resort to calling us delusional or dramatic instead. Thank you for doing your part, I appreciate you ❤️

[@angietorok8389]

If someone you hardly know feels they need to tell you they'd never hurt you, it means they're having thought of hurting you.

[@Friendly_Neigborhood_Astolfo]

Good to know. I am learning a lot from this

[@katim2644]

He has all the money and therefore power. Oh hell, tell him to move to California and stay married for a year then take half of his stuff.

[@moreninntal5426]

@@katim2644 She wouldn't survive the year, possibly...

[@ValerieEnriquez]

16:23 Dying at "She hasn't struck gold, she's struck mold, brother!"

[@MizzzKitty]

100% What he said was gold!

[@kittlee3704]

It was a great line

[@susannahschannel6643]

😂😂😂

[@LetUsNotForget1]

I had a stalker that would try to follow me home from dance class. The only thing that saved me was my ex refused to let me walk home after he found out that a guy was trying to follow me. When he couldn't find my home he resorted to leaving roses, chocolates, new pointe shoes, and sometimes his own drawings of us at the studio. I was never able to get the police to understand why I didn't wan those things, and the only reason I no longer see him is because I moved states. I still cannot use my real name on my profiles in fear of him finding me.

[@tinad4032]

This makes me so angry for you. The cops are like 'He's not dangerous' until he hurts you but they do not take seriously how the people stalked are hurt and have to change their lives. :( I hope one day you can find the peace and freedom he took from you.

[@GayToBeHere]

​@@tinad4032worst par is, if the victim turns out dead or missing, the first person they will suspect is the creepy stalker. Kind of like they knew how it would end 💀

[@WanderingKat]

That's awful! It's even worse when they turn something you enjoy into a stressful event because you have to worry about running into them whenever you go to a place you used to enjoy.

[@loiswilliams8001]

So sorry this happened to you. It's terrifying.

[@AnotherUsername-oe5uy]

That is terrifying. I'm sorry this creep is still affecting your life.

[@ashjem4447]

I need this woman’s boldness to be honest, my biggest struggle with scary people like this man is I’m too nice and agreeable it makes me feel so helpless 😔

[@breeanaoldham2634]

I worked for a women’s shelter. There are men out there all the time. It is so scary how little the police can do.

[@tinkeramma]

That's the biggest thing we can change. There have always been creeps and violent men. It's likely there always will be. What we need is changes that allow for actual protection, not just a piece of paper that says they can't contact you. It's a small percentage that need the paper to realize they have to stop. The majority of who can be stopped by a piece of paper don't need the paper to realize it's time to stop.

[@BunnySeer]

"There are men out there all the time." A terrifying thought, to be sure.

[@danieltobin4498]

The issue is that the law is a mess of vague wording, maybes, and people kicking the can down the road. The law probably around stalking probably won’t change because no judge wants to take the risk/put in the effort to change it because they don’t see the value in doing so.

[@CloudsAndConstellations]

​@@tinkerammaSo let's see what you're gonna do. Because right now, you're just talking.

[@randdiamond8090]

Men can wear a wig and get in too!

[@joshoemaker6751]

There is a rumor (I haven't researched to see if it's true) that repeated use of someone's name is a psychological tactic used to get under someone's skin, particularly to intimidate them.

[@Maria..Carina-y6x]

it's true, to intimidate, to create a false sense of intimacy or forced friendship

[@ashannaredwolf8485]

It is true, it’s an intimidation tactic

[@OrontesRM]

I always answer by doing the same, pointedly.

[@Mr101editz]

I used it not to intimidate my current gf, but to woo her. (It worked, you just gotta know them better than this guy)

[@aymieamor]

Yes! It's a common sales tactic as well, trying to gain their rapport

[@godof6strings701]

See, this is the kind of guy who WOULD lock a woman in his basement, he just hasn't done it because he's AT LEAST smart enough to not go to prison. In a world where he wouldn't face consequences for it, he'd have done it, though.

[@cosmicreef5858]

coward..bad people NEVER ANYTHING positive

[@NinjaGrrrl7734]

Hasn't done it YET. He hasn't refrained so far because he's smart, he has refrained because he's terrified of prison and the loss of control that represents.

[@MrMrtvozornik]

And yet people will then turn around and say "punitive justice doesn't work". It's insane, just look at some interviews with career criminals, it's always the risk reward assessment, and open and harsh punishments are part of the risk they assess.

[@tychopanda]

In a few years, he would have done it, no doubt.

[@um...nevermind8918]

That we know of.

[@Indoor_Carrot]

"She hasn't struck gold, she's struck mould, brother." Chocked on my drink with that one XD

[@costelinha1867]

"And I promise, I'm not a rapist or a creep" Fun fact, if you have to openly state that you're not a rapist or a creep, it's usually because you ARE a rapist or a creep.

[@Akrna47]

Yea. He needed a pinky promise on that one for me to believe him.

[@jojo_rose341]

"your womenly friends"...who says womenly????!

[@NwKOkn]

I respect space but I usually say this cuz i dont want to be misunderstood 😭 now im not sure what they believe 💀

[@fryingpanvan]

​@@NwKOkn i can tell you that saying "I'm not a creep or rapist" just makes it worse.

[@coleylovesshrek]

100%

[@LadyAnthos]

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Ew. Ugh. Ew ew ew ew ew. This is... Very not okay. Please tell me this ends in a restraining order.

[@LadyAnthos]

Oh great. It gets worse.

[@LadyAnthos]

I need a f*ing bath after this. Thank all that is good in this world that she was finally able to get away from him.

[@heatherlowe7330]

I hope so too!

[@BlueCyann]

Restraining orders rarely end anything. They're just a piece of paper after all. A stalker who's able to be stopped by one could probably have been stopped by anything (most easily by doing nothing at all, no interaction). I think the resolution spoken of was he's in jail, at least for a while.

[@kyleecook6671]

On the upside of all this- he spouts great villain dialogue for writers to study! This is gold! On the downside...restraining orders are never comfortable to live around. You're always watching your back to see if an insane creep is pushing and /or ignoring their limits

[@alexia3552]

I really wish restraining orders came with a voucher for free (quality) bodyguard services. It’d be their job to watch your back, screen your letters, phone calls, internet messages, etc.

[@MissGreenTeaLady]

Agreed. I have a restraining order against my ex, which is great, but it took months for me to be able to sleep properly. I still get anxious in public and have frequent nightmares.

[@milliesecond102]

I agree! This needs to be made into a horror movie! 😬

[@redmoonvenus7327]

"I am starting to be very upset by your answers.... You have one more chance, I wont take no for an answer" Lord, that's very menacing 😮

[@Kbsnflwr]

Cannot thank you enough. I was stalked for 3 yrs by an ex in the late 90’s when this kind of thing wasn’t even reportable. We need to keep talking about this stuff…. ❤️🌻

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

I wasn't stalked for 3 years but a guy I dated for less than 1 1/2 months wouldn't leave me be had to pretend I was involved with one of my coworkers to get him to leave me be. This was in the 90's he'd listen to unhinged music over and over so he could write the lyrics down that I reminded him of. I broke up with him because he blamed me a 5 foot 1 inch 20 year old was capable of bending and denting his car door in. Reality was he insisted on doing something while I had a migraine that I wasn't interested in. I was leaning on the hinge of the car door ever so lightly when he went to open the car door and I could feel the metal buckle under my butt. So that was the most excruciating car ride home because he drove at a snails pace prolonging the agony. I had no choice because what kind of hell is that knowing your boyfriend blames you for destroying his car when the reality is he did it to his own car. The resentment and hate wasn't worth sticking around. About 15 years later I ran into him he has been married twice at this point has 2 kids and he points to a tattoo on his arm of a dagger piercing a flaming heart and tells me I inspired that tattoo. My immediate reaction was that I dodged a bullet. He also disclosed he's a recovering alcoholic another dodged bullet. All I can think of though is the women after me had to have known the story of that tattoo and why didn't they run.

[@NiGHTSIntoMemes]

14:46 it's almost like women are fully realized people and not just prizes on a shelf you exchange tickets for...

[@B.Harper7]

@NiGHTSIntoMemes Nahhhh, MommyReplacementMaidSexBot2000s don't have feelings and their own needs? You can treat them like crap like dad and grandpa did! Those were good women- I mean bots, who never left, no matter how bad it was! All these bots who can have their own bank accounts, jobs, cars, and houses (since only the late 1970's) are absolutely malfunctioning!!! Damn rebels, installing viruses in their processor, corrupting the Breed Mare programming!! 💖😆 After I said rebels, it made me think of Janelle Monae in her Queen video haha 💕

[@Tcheera]

Yeah... "nice guys" have always frightened me. Always want to know the ulterior motives. I had a "nice guy" who would always touch my hips and butt when he'd pass by me even though I'd move really far out of the way and there was plenty of room and after months of it, he cornered me and scream / spit in my face that he was a "nice guy" and that he was going to go get weapons out of his trunk one night when he was drunk. My female friends were not surprised, but a lot of my male friends were and said they didn't see it coming. I was just like, "Nah that's exactly who he always was."

[@SacredIntuition]

Omg you're so intelligent and brave for this!

[@fionacalou11303]

Ugh, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. It’s unbelievably awful. Sending love 💛

[@ten40tv]

See like I said in previous comments it's guys like this who ruin it for nice guys like me who literally have no Ill intentions. If I like someone I'll tell them and I'll be upfront about it no matter how terrifying it can be. Hey I think you're really cool for x and x reasons. Would you like to get coffee sometime. No? I understand. Thank you for your candor in your response. Girls please don't assume every guy who does nice things to you wants to chain you up in their basement. Some of us are pretty chill and just think you might be really cool to hang with outside of the 9-5 hours.

[@stargirl91291]

@@ten40tvjust don’t call yourself a “nice guy”. It’s a giant red flag if you genuinely think that about yourself. Nice people don’t have to tell others that they are nice.

[@SA-ey6nt]

​@@stargirl91291Don't give him pointers.. Anyway it's natural for people to drop a sign. Good people don't think they're good, they think they're normal. Their demeanor is not conditional of them "getting something", that's called a motive

[@crunchyyellowlion]

3:58 🤣 flag guy really started that motor up on that flag run.... Harley Davidson would be envious 🤣💀

[@FallacyBites]

If she said, "i appreciate the thought," the guy would have ignored EVERY SINGLE clear 'absolutely not' in the rest of her response.

[@millymild]

to be fair she didn’t say that and he still ignored every clear no she said

[@FallacyBites]

@@millymild true. I was pinging back to memories of my youth and feeling rage about them.

[@sandpiperr]

She also doesn't owe him an "I appreciate the thought" It makes me so mad this idea that women always owe it to men to let them down easy and babysit their ego when they make an advance. I'm not saying just be indiscriminently mean. If someone asks me out in a polite, respectful way, I have no reason not to want to be polite and kind in my response even if that response is that I'm not interested in going out with them. However, if someone is creepy or entitled or vulgar in making an advance, why should I have to pretend I'm flattered when I'm actually just grossed out?

[@Jupiter-T]

@@sandpiperr I think the "I appreciate the thought" in this scenario would be less about trying to let him down easy and more about plain old fear of violence.

[@kimichan5]

I applaud this woman for being so straightforward in her responses. She did not beat around the bush and she was not overly sweet and nice about it she just spoke truth and said get out of my life. Good for you girl!

[@MalO.ver1.0.x]

Every girl/woman should be like that, but unfortunately we're getting it drilled in our head from the very start, that a girl needs to be nice. .... Fuck that shit. Never beat around the bush or talked through flowers when it comes to pathetic excuses of human beings like this NiceGuy (tm).

[@achocolatebiscuit5087]

I envy her, really. Most of us can't be so direct. Many men get really aggressive when things don't their way, so we have to try to let them down, and even then, they get pissed. It's so frustrating

[@marionchase-kleeves8311]

He needs a mail order bride that will bring her extended family from Transyvania

[@trashotaku]

Any time I hear about someone doing something sh!tty to another person and mention their friends "agreeing with them", I feel like most of the time, they're friends don't actually agree with or even know what's going on, they're just saying that to peer-pressure the other person into taking their side/agreeing to their terms

[@wolfc8755]

IF he even has any friends. They might have just agreed with some totally fake story he told them. ("I'd like to buy a house, but she (my imaginary girlfriend and soon-to-be wife that the "friend" has never met) disagrees." "Yah man, getting your own house is the way to go if you can afford it, why pay someone else's mortgage." blah blah blah). Or he's referring to some random, barely acquaintance, a neighbor he talks to once or twice a year, even some total stranger he started yakking to in the line at the grocery store. But, like you said, the most likely scenario is he just made it up as a tool for "persuasion".

[@trashotaku]

@@wolfc8755 Yeah, definitely that too

[@animeotaku307]

Even if they did, why should any of us care about the opinion of a bunch of obvious shitheads?

[@Tuesday_Mourning]

​@@animeotaku307 💯! While I agree with everyone saying he either doesn't have friends or is talking about someone he talked to once at a grocery line... The safe bet is to assume he actually does have friends that he has spoken to candidly, and they do agree. Therefore meaning that he will be surrounded by other dudes just as fukd in the head who will help him torment & control you forever

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

Dude has no friends. Just like most dudes. He consults patriarchy broadly for confirmation bias. That's their touchstone, where healthy friendships should be.

[@tillettman]

Calls her shallow, but all he can talk about is material comforts and physical appearance. Also, hopefully she got a lot of money from her former employer for ignoring the sexual harassment.

[@seraphilight]

When men approach me and I take my defensive stance mightily shouting, "HALT, who goes there? Be you creep?!" When they put their delicate man hands up and do the little dance and swear, "I am not a rapist!" I feel at ease.

[@someone-hy9xi]

dunno why i'm wheezing at this

[@AleTitan]

I like to think they're dancing like those Funky Crabs

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

Be thou Russell Brand, perchance? In such happenstance, hie thouself yonder, for mine eyes and ears be sorely afflicted by thy presence!

[@katyungodly]

@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 Russell Brand is such a creep-he gives off crunchy nazi vibes

[@BoreasNorthstar]

Hark! Art thou feeling diddle-ful?

[@LillyJacob-l6r]

The way he specified he would allow (eek!) her to maintain relationships with female friends and family had me wide eyed. It’s all freaking bonkers. Right to trapping her in his house, not even a first date offer etc. So glad the court actually gave her a life time restraining order. Too often it’s brushed off and ends horribly.

[@Luubelaar]

He specified female friends. So all the male ones have to go because they're possible competition. Guys like this are why we choose the bear.

[@AuDHD_Mom]

My parents hated my first boyfriend because he was a punk rocker from a broken home, and questioned everything he didn't see as logical. If he found logic in it, he was cool with it, even supported it. I had a goal to stay a virgin until I got married, and he fully supported me in that decision. He would even push me off of him at times and say we had to cool down if I was going to make that goal. I loved him so much, but felt too much pressure from my family and knowing we were only teenagers. My second boyfriend my parents loved. He was a valedictorian of my graduating class and already accepted at many prestigious universities. But every second we were alone, he was talking about how we should have sex. I broke up with him after less than two months. I'll never forget my Dad insulting my first boyfriend and saying how disappointed he was in me that I was with that guy for over a year, and then i got with someone who actually was making something of his life and I dumped him within two months. That was when, at the age of 17, I realized that my ultra-conservative, "boys will be boys" mentality father would never influence my dating choices ever again. My Dad did try to talk me out of marrying my husband the week before our wedding. I told him absolutely not, and he could accept my husband and have us in his life, or reject my husband and reject me. Within a few years my Dad finally saw what I saw in my husband, and 14 years later, he always tells people that my husband is his favorite in-law child. Priorities, man. Money doesn't make a life worth living, and can't buy a person with integrity.

[@lichiehrb]

I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I hope your punk bf is in a good relationship now as well. You guys both seem like good people.

[@Loveyourself21072]

My dad hates my crush because he Has family issues and honestly i relate.. i dont know what to do about it because i love him sm

[@sea.imagineering]

I did listen to my parents and yes that turned out to be the wrong choice...

[@AuDHD_Mom]

@@sea.imagineering I'm so sorry you had to go through the trauma of finding out the hard way. This is why I teach my children they have full autonomy of their own lives. We respect each other enough to listen to each other, and my job as their parent is to help guide them, but ultimately, they will choose their choices but can't choose the consequences. It always felt to me like my parents didn't believe I was making the best choices for my life, but they were the ones that raised me. As an adult, I realized this meant that they didn't have confidence in their own parenting, and you can't throw money at a broken heart and fix it, so they didn't like the lack of control over those decisions I was making. I hope you find a companion for this life that will support, respect and love you through this roller coaster of life, and with whom you can reciprocate those things.

[@AuDHD_Mom]

@@lichiehrb I hope so, too.

[@saraladd6885]

Your comment saying you kinda expected her to be nicer out of fear because sometimes guys like that can be terrifying is so accurate. Thank you for pointing that out... I was talking to two younger male coworkers a while back and they were saying they don't understand why some girls won't just be blunt about it when they're not interested in someone and I tried to explain to them that it's not just that cut and dry sometimes.. I work in customer service and I have had numerous times when a man misreads my just general friendliness as flirtation\ being interested.. And then when I told them sorry im not looking to date or im not single, I have had men just go off on me, calling me names etc, and it can be scary af! So thank you being aware of that fact, and for pointing it out 😊

[@nikkinitrogen]

9:40 when you mentioned how he keeps saying her name over and over. It's a sales tactic. People like hearing their name, so they're more likely to respond favourably during a sales pitch. Edit because so many of you are missing the point: I'm just providing clarity for why the guy in the texts was doing this. It's a common sales tactic. If you don't like it, find it creepy, or it doesn't work on you: have a cookie.

[@AnandaSea]

It's power grabbing and shows desperation of a narcissist demon at work. 😂 and I will loudly demand around other people optimally to stop using my name whatsoever. And thank you. ❤😂 Get my pretty name outta your mouth!!! Billie Eilish song lyric. 🎵

[@randompixels6237]

That backfires with me. It creeps me out.

[@dreadsndogs4406]

​@@randompixels6237same with me - it's creepy

[@MssIAMNOBODYSPECIAL]

It creeps me out when someone uses your name in a sentence where it doesnt need to be. I am a teacher and a lot of other teacher do this with students, also to remember their names, but i seriously cannot get myself to do it. It really really creeps me out

[@hawkfeather6802]

It's really creepy. I'm already here,you don't need to say my name all the time. Or worse don't use my name as an insult either

[@divinemischief4655]

"Either read between the lines or look between the bars" is savage and I love it.

[@jandrews6254]

You just know that if he ever got a hold of her, she’d be locked into his basement to starve down to an acceptable weight

[@bec7080]

When I was being sexually harassed via text i was being too nice and he kept doing it. So she was SO RIGHT to be so direct. I'm proud of her.

[@marlenestewart7442]

She should never have answered. She should have deleted and blocked.

[@AlexAstill0409xx]

@@marlenestewart7442 She did fine.

[@InfantryWife85]

​​@@marlenestewart7442not responding at all can backfire when it comes time to file for restraining orders. Responding shows efforts on your part to deter that were ignored.

[@marlenestewart7442]

@@InfantryWife85 Of course there would be different types of strategies for different types of stalkers. In this case, where the stalking started in the workplace, there was already a record of her efforts to rebuff and report him. Once it is clear that normal requests to desist go unheeded, you know you have a stalker. Stalkers thrive on any contact. That is why the ONLY strategy is BLOCK.

[@karinawolniak8440]

Guys like that are the ones who kills women because they can't stand the fact they don't want to be with them. It's literally giving a murderer behavior.

[@moonbounce17]

I went to high school with a guy like this. The only reason he didn't become my actual stalker was because he didn't have a driver's license. So he could only stalk me on school grounds, but he was glued to me at all times. It was awful. It was the entire last two years of high school, every day, including graduation.

[@Dark_Harmony]

I had a stalker in high school. I was able to get him removed from the school without much of a problem at all. So glad they took it seriously. I didn't even know who he was. He wasn't in any of my regular classes. He'd stalk me when I was working in the library. I found out he was in one of the 'special' classes. Really sad, because he was actually a good-looking guy.

[@EmyN]

And the school did nothing?

[@kayjacoby290]

If the police don't see the invasion of her personal space (and time) by his constant letters & other deliveries; I suggest she forward them to the nearest police station and see how they like dealing with them on a daily basis. Let them sort the food they're afraid to eat for fear of tampering; find something to do with dozens of flowers & attendant packaging; open (if they dare) mystery packages; and dispose of them. None of that is "nice" or harmless. It's harassment.

[@alexia3552]

For real

[@Orquet-qj2nf]

And I bet those same cops complain about these women who do move in with these rapists who don't 'just leave' after they get called in for a domestic disturbance. And then shrug when another woman goes mysteriously missing after the rapist had taken out life insurance on her a week before.

[@annegriswold2116]

This gave me serious flashbacks to a story I heard years ago about a Neckbeard that kept a journal about OP. I don't remember the name I think Moonhorse read it. I think the journal story was actually a tad worse. OP occasionally said hi to him in the office, they worked on different teams. He asked her out once and she made it clear she didn't date co-workers. After that he said pretty much nothing to her and started to keep the journals. He noted what OP was wearing, conversations she had with co-workers, jealousy about a 'work boyfriend' who was her friend. The last 6 months of it were bad when he started going about self pleasuring, wanting to implant his seed in her sweet flower and naming their first child. OP didn't know how crazy he was when she left the office for another job, she had another reason to want to change jobs. This man had a melt down, asking her why she doomed their future generations to nothingness and going on about how they were meant to be. How he would get her to see what she had been blind to all along and shit like that. He got her address from a HR person who was fired for this, waited outside her apartment for 3 days while she had flown to another city to set up what she needed for her new job. Eventually the police were called and he had to abandon that plan. OP returned the following day to come up to a whole bunch of stuff he sent via UPS including the creepy as heck journals among things he thought would win her over. In the end he tried to kidnap her, but the police actually took her seriously and OP was being monitored so he didn't succeed in that attempt. He's serving 2-5 years, but given how long ago this was he's out now ain't that freaking terrifying.

[@ChefSarah4104]

I heard that one on Smosh, it's horrifying.

[@animeotaku307]

RSlash covered that one. Even his goofy delivery with the creep’s voice couldn’t keep the words from making my skin crawl.

[@miakilroy1239]

@@ChefSarah4104 that's where I heard it too

[@PyrrhaStone]

Yeah, I remember that one. I'd heard it read off in a SmoshPit reddit stories video though.

[@drawingdame7718]

JayMick also read it. It’s really unhinged how a person can build an entire fantasy relationship with someone in their head, without ever having talked to the other person. And then get mad their fantasy isn’t played out exactly how they pictured. Utter madness.

[@elizabethmcglothlin5406]

Everything he says he won't do is exactly what he wants to do.

[@fionamacdonald6088]

I had a stalker just like this man, up to and including the weight gain topic. My best friend was a man who owned his own garage (auto repair), and this man broke all his windows... I ended up moving country to get away from this man..