When the avoidant “loses feelings”

[@ik6577]

They don't have to say anything, they just show you enough ... who they really are . Let them go

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

Paying attention to the behaviors and actions is key. That’s usually where the red flags begin to show.

[@ik6577]

I agree with u ​@@RayRayNDemUSA

[@veebliss1266]

RUN from These people! 🎉🎉 they will let you down EVERYTIME! They have to heal first! And stop hurting others!

[@shes_ah_truckher7716]

Dismissive Avoidant here…I’ve had this before majority of my life. I recognized my patters and knew something had to change. I’m recently just discovering that my behavior actually has a name which is dismissive avoidant. I am seeking therapy and taking full accountability for my actions. I don’t wanna keep up with this repetitive cycle. Thanks for sharing this video

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

This content creator is the avoidant whisperer.

[@marciafab7]

Avoid the avoidant.

[@rachillibean]

When I was being dumped, I asked him about the love-bombing and he apologized and said he was "infatuated" but he meant the things he said at the time. Ugh. I don't understand how you can talk marriage and the future with someone and suddenly it's over. It breaks my heart all the more to think he never bonded with me in the same way I did with him. It's been 2 months of no contact, and I'm still absolutely gutted.😔

[@rplm8186]

Unfortunately I know absolutely how you feel 😢❤❤

[@rplm8186]

*hugs*

[@Knud451]

Very much agree. I still don't understand the love bombing in the beginning and now I'm being "blamed" for wanting too much. Even though I know they're coming from a different point of view.

[@ik6577]

Very similar story to my , but he didn't tell nothing just completly disappear . It was 4 months intensive dating and It took me another 4 months to recover. No contact 8 months already

[@ik6577]

My recomendation for you , go to the gym and focus on yourself only , you will heal much much faster it really work .Good luck

[@johndevivo8683]

Yes. This is how it ends and it’s so very painful…… but I take responsibility. I let her love bomb me, she was wonderful but inconsistent, unsure, did not think we had a future, never spent a holiday together, would fault find, broke up twice got back together, would no longer define who we were. I have grown so much. 18 months, 3 kids involved. She taught me to value myself, to stand my ground, to hold my partner accountable, and to block their sorry ass when they start bread crumbing you after taking no responsibility.

[@jamalcole1985]

RESILIENCE!

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

Hard and painful lessons they teach but once you learn them, you can spot and dodge them miles away.

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

A friend reached out to me today. She was discarded by her avoidant (now ex) boyfriend since 12/20/2024. She’s showing classic symptoms of a discard: rumination, getting headaches, trying to bury herself in activities to dull the pain, et cetera. A discard, like Coach Ryan says, is not a normal breakup. It stings way worse as the person just disappears.

[@rocio7499]

@@RayRayNDemUSA and yet people tell us to feel compassion for avoidants but fuck those who are kind hearted and genuine. I know what ur friend is going through I've been discarded by an avoidant I'm doing much better after a year I rather be alone quite frankly. those people never cared for anyone it's all pretend

[@loopsearcherbot]

Describes my ex-wife. Discarded me. When I asked her whether or not she still loves me, she said no, but before she had a lot of love for me. These are deeply damaged individuals

[@MF-se1zl]

"I'm not into you as much you're into me" said the avoidant after love bombing me for a year and a half. 😢

[@cynthiaonowome5197]

This is exactly what my ex said after 9 months of love bombing me. It's so heartbreaking

[@darrinmiller8176]

😂😂😂 mine said the very exact thing just strange

[@Elizabeth-pn4ug]

​@@darrinmiller8176maybe is the same person 😅😅😅

[@darrinmiller8176]

Elizabeth maybe your on too something 😂😂

[@tammyd5720]

I think this explains everything I don't even want to be part of this. You'll never get anywhere if you stick with that person and that's exactly what I am not going to do

[@MrStodderkonge]

Yeah that's the sad fact bout avoitdents. They discard u like nothing and move on to wreck havoc on the next person, they live in the honeymoon phase, nothing else. Don't ignore the red flags guys, will save u alot of pain to stand by ur core values

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

Spotting those red flags and dealbreaker behaviors and communication early is key. They tend to flash them early on before they start deactivating.

[@ruthzbikowski1320]

Just want to thank you for all the info in this video. I had to collect information on this over a years time to heal & here it all is in one video to reinforce what happened and move forward. ❤

[@AWA89r]

Mine won’t say anything all he did was isolated and distanced! Whatever I told him he acted as he had no clue!

[@segri3697]

You want to called the karmabus don't you.. ❤

[@SyddeMyzard]

After 16 years, my avoidant ghosted me like a stone statue just after i had difficulties after a surgery, i did no contact to heal and protect myself and few days ago after 4 month she sent me a message to explain a member if his family died and she hopes everything is going good for me...

[@ik6577]

So very sorry , u can't count on them anyway when you have a bad time , super selfish and brutal action

[@pollyannakarina]

That is so cruel, I feel for you so much. Bless you.

[@SyddeMyzard]

It was the most painfull moment of my life and she ignored me and now she hopes i'm doing well. It's not tolerable. Today i feel a bit better but at 50 years old it's awfull because i have always be consistant in my love.

[@ik6577]

U will find much better partner sooner or later but you will for sure . 50 years is not end of the world . ​@@SyddeMyzard

[@asmamirza-up8pb]

OMG! You put into words everything I’ve been through, and still going through! Thank you so much for helping me understand 🙏🏽

[@annekecglas1096]

I loved him so much... 72 days of no contact... I'm the one that suffer

[@michaelscherger3092]

On dec 18th my girlfriend broke up with me after ghosting me for 5 days, I’d went over to hers to finally see what’s up and she just right out said ‘I lost feelings’ it’s been a few weeks now but mentally it destroyed me for a solid 2 weeks. At the end of the day there’s really nothing else to do besides move on but I do always find myself secretly wishing we could work it out. This was right after she had just went through a really tough finals week and had failed her classes.

[@AngelikaSayre]

At some point through this …I began realizing that a lot of this is ME. I need to look at ME because I understood all of this. Thank you for putting this all into words that were so clear and easy to understand.

[@aliljungquist7719]

This is brilliant.thank u so much.probably the best explanation Ive had of being ghosted after 2 yrs with nothing bad at all having happened,& in fact with him even getting closer to me just before?? It has beyond confused,& jus' broken me.thk u for these words.

[@MsPatriot420]

This is the first video that helped since he told me he didn't feel love and couldn't put his finger on why he felt that way. This started 2 weeks after he asked me to marry him and I accepted because I knew I loved him. I thought it was me and it somehow computed that I was just unwantable. Now I understand that Dopamine was gone and Oxytocin never kicked in. I heard another guy say that Oxytocin is in very short supply within The Avoidant and you had to do a double back flip to get Vasopressin flowing in them instead. Who can do this with precision? Give me a break! It's like walking on the razor's edge!

[@Lucila3101]

He broke up With me, then asked me to be back and just treats me like a friend. That is so sad

[@rplm8186]

Yess same thing happened to me! I don't get it

[@ayalovenaturals]

Mine too, he has been emailing, begging to back with him. Saying he sorry for not taking my feelins into account. Its been a rollercoaster of this. Im drained and exhausted. He refuses to let us bond on any level. I prefer not to live in confusion. Tje stress was taking a toll on my health.

[@olgarodionova634]

I refused to be a friend with mine. Their friendship is always one-sided. They only wanna benefit from you, take your caring for granted.

[@augie-tv]

I have so many questions and I’m left confused. I wanna ask them but I feel they’ll just feed me bs

[@Neja.Speaks]

Or, they're so avoidant + people pleasers at the same time that they don't even tell you and they just let you figure it out on your own. All of a sudden everything you do seems to bother them and they become unbearable. Got to get out of there and I'm so glad I did 💪🏻

[@MandyFord-u9x]

Now what? Nothing? My twin flame, gone already!

[@celestecampos9816]

Thank you, yours words are truly helpfull

[@nicolejoette]

Thank you for this. Avoidant partner of 3.5 years asked for a separation 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Told me I could not sleep in our bedroom same day he surprised me with the news during couples therapy. He didn't want to sleep on the couch himself that night because he didn't want to deal with me crying. He had very little explanation except that he lost feelings for me, maybe as early as two and a half years ago, when we moved across the country together. I was laid off from a 12-year job because I moved here for him and sold all my furniture in order to get here. If it wasn't for information like what you're producing, this entire breakup would have been even more devastating for lack of any sensible explanation. We were struggling, but ending it was never an option for me

[@tabarnakopoulos]

" I don't know how to return the love you give me. I don't have any feelings for you. I tried falling in love with you, but I just don't know how. " are some of the things she said to me during discard.

[@martiboxwell9680]

Its crazy how they all use the exact same phrases. Almost robotic like. I got the "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore."

[@basicinfo2022]

My ex did that. Call his bluff and go no contact. That same ex is still trying to win me back years later.

[@penirosaguel]

I broke up 13 days ago and he told me EXACTLY this phrase: „I‘m not in love with you but I love you.“ He told me, he doesn’t like himself as a partner and he wants to go find himself. After 3.5 years love bombing he told me that he doesn’t have fuel for a committed relationship and he even doesn’t know if he wants to be in a monogamous relationship.😮😮😮 seriously????? Gosh, I’m devastated and broken into thousand pieces. Will I ever manage to get through this…?…..

[@basicinfo2022]

@penirosaguel this breakup sets you free from a man who isn't husband material. dont let him waste more of your time and energy. He doesn't deserve it.

[@martiboxwell9680]

I heard the “go find themselves” line as well. Unfortunately for you and I, they actually are telling the truth. They dont know who they are. My wife told me that shes just existing in a text a few months after she left. They live their lives pretending to be someone they are not. They’re to afraid to be who they really want to be. So they morph into who they think you or I would want them to be. Thats the love bombing phase. I’m right in the fire with ya. I spent 25 years with her and I have never went through hell like this. But we will survive.

[@martiboxwell9680]

@@basicinfo2022 100% right about no contact. The absolute worst thing you can do, yes i did it several times, is reach out begging and pleading. It will not work. They will run further.

[@spiritofhonuguidanceforlife]

My guy's version was that he cares about me but is no longer attracted to me physically/sexually and doesnt want a relationship.

[@NiJill]

They tend to do and say this when they reach that limit. They always hurt people.

[@flyingkikidesigns]

Soooooo over walking on eggshells! 😩😢💔

[@veebliss1266]

Then leave!!!

[@flyingkikidesigns]

@ Yes!!! Already have!!

[@jeffreychandler8418]

I will never forget how cold she was to me in my last conversation with her. I've never seen a person that could look so empty.She so deeply hurt me, and she looked like that when the mask fell off. I'll never forget it, no matter how muich I want to. I still get pangs of fear from it.

[@MandyFord-u9x]

I can relate

[@tajha123]

They are vacant!

[@Hamnahmbago]

They're always cold like they have never known you their entire life 😢relatable 😊

[@Soulgyrl]

Been through it still dealing with the hurt I can't shake it.

[@segri3697]

Yes, this is the worst I been trough. And I knew him for 15 years and we were work collegues.. And then we fall in love and move in together.. 3 years later I know he is a DA and I'm happy I been strong enough to leave him! But it's been a lot of tears and anger.. I'm not sure I'm gonna forgive him but I gonna move on someday.. that I'm sure of! ❤🙏🇸🇪

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

Those relationships are the hardest ones where you knew each other before getting into a relationship, only to see a side of this person that may wreck you. Familiar territory for me.

[@segri3697]

@RayRayNDemUSA thank you for answer ❤

[@johndevivo8683]

When I feel really angry I try to remember how I did not stand my ground, let her be inconsistent or fault find, allowed her to be unsure, and lack the commitment I had. I let myself love her without thinking more about how she made me feel. She was often wonderful, so compatible BUT SHE WAS NEVER FULLY IN. And I tolerated it all. I don’t blame her for who she is but so far I don’t forgive her for not working on it and growing.

[@SFW7]

So, it was never love? 😢 One and a half year of so much "love"! I loved her with all my existence. Pure, unconditional love. A kind of love that you’re lucky to find in one lifetime. And she threw it away and never looked back. I often wonder, will she ever realise what she lost!

[@ik6577]

They dont know how to love , they even dont know what is it

[@basicinfo2022]

Don't invest feelings or emotions into a man who hasn't seriously invested or commited to you or made your life better. Love is action. He probably doesn't even love himself either.

[@bigboss6867]

She has to lose you first. Walk away and don't look back, get back out there after you've taken time for her to leave your head.

[@SFW7]

@@bigboss6867 I walked away one week after she dumped me. That was the last time I reached out to her with a very heartfelt message, to come back. She didn’t reply. I never texted her again. No contact whatsoever. It’s been 6 months now! It’s a different matter that I shed tears so often, including today.

[@user-nd3tg5zn1b]

@@SFW7I cry sometimes too for him. I loved what they showed me not who he really is. 😢I can tell you it will get better ❤️‍🩹

[@thenexusagency]

Yes it’s so F’d up it’s beyond words. Dysfunctional on an entirely new level. Keep up the good posts and information. People need this

[@annekecglas1096]

I told him over and over again. He's perfect for me, I don't mind his flaws... I lifted him up... But.. he could not even looked me in the eyes...

[@kevinsaysyuh]

I'll take his place. I like older women. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Nah nah, outside from jokes i'm terribly sorry for you.

[@danielamondschein]

The dopamine thingy is much more common in narcissists.

[@marwaahmed6889]

Most of the avoidants I knew actually had a happy childhood and had very supportive parents They were spoiled brats

[@Ron4T1]

Absolutely! They’re selfish and self-centered.

[@nvt5697]

Hi marwa! Probably you mean overprotecting parents... Parents who are absent in giving healthy boundaries (emotional, psychological safeness)... You could say that the avoidants you knew had emotional absent parents? It looked good from the outside, but the childhood was empty in boundaries.

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

@@nvt5697Can relate with my former GF stating the emotional unavailability of her parents while they provided for her otherwise.

[@annewellmann8867]

Emotional neglect can be very subtle.

[@contextclues8414]

Been friends for over 2 years and talked about dating for the last couple months of our friendship and she seemed so open to it all and was excited for it. I asked her out on her birthday and didnt get a response right away and then she came back a week later and said she thinks we should just stay friends. (she unadded me on everything after this) anyways shes with somebody new right out of the gate

[@LiaVargas-p8r]

It’s simply because you like them and they like chasing something that doesn’t want them more than who does like them

[@NiJill]

Or they prefer fantasy over reality

[@johndevivo8683]

Yes. She lost feelings after the most wonderful relationship. I was so frustrated I helped her look for those feelings in every room in her house, her car and the yard. Nope. All gone. Her attraction as well. I gave her another piece of bubble gum since it had lost its flavor as well and went home forever. And don’t forget about the 3 kids she abandoned as well including her daughter who loved me.

[@thegardinerfamilycreative1156]

Thank you so very much, your messages are so supportive and healing ❤️‍🩹🙌

[@pedroleitao5102]

And this is if they ever tell you anything about their feelings and don't just ghost you without telling you nothing!

[@Queenme1-t3q]

Coach Ryan you are truly Gods vessel. Thank you for your service to the world.

[@gregorystinette8271]

I don't believe in human "love" in any capacity. My dog loves me more than any human ever did. All I get from human beings is mind games. Shalom

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

😢 😔 😞

[@danielamondschein]

That's sad! But good dog!

[@anothercat9600]

Great explanation about the dopamine _not_ going to the oxytocin. The security is never felt.

[@badgirlacademy7783]

When you love them back. You are not supposed to love the avoidant. They don’t want to be loved. Respected maybe, reassured maybe. No loved.

[@akilahj2252]

as an adoptee im very self aware of how i show up in relationships now. I am more disorganized and usually i find i'm more anxious in relationships. I am used to being in toxic relationships chasing a man..i am now in a healthy relationship but I find myself questioning the relationship. I sucks because i do believe he is a great man, its like i used to be obsessed with the men who didn't want me now i don't know why i can't find my feelings in this new relationship

[@soulessENERGY]

The obsession is not love. It's a trap. Be happy you're not obsessed. The limerance comes from our insecurity

[@OnMyGrindNowForever]

Is it only childhood trauma that creates an avoidant personality? Can one become ab avoidant based on something that happened to them as an adult?

[@godspurple4805]

Yes.

[@maryannsherry2713]

Thank you!

[@realBeltalowda]

“Oh we’re incompatible because I like my ex and they don’t”

[@JD-dv9kc]

Not only was she avoidant, but BPD, which she told me she was in the beginning. I had no idea what that was. Six years together, much in turmoil. She said this to me while i was in the hospital: I realized if you died, I'd get nothing. I was devastated and left her shortly thereafter. I then found myself begging to go back. She denied me but hoovered me in and then shut me out. She told me the other day, I don't love you, i dont hate you. I can't be near you because you're my kryptonite. Wtf. I've lost myself

[@ik6577]

😮

[@debbiemillo1556]

Yes sadly you really do lose yourself big time and it's a long road back. Its the way they treat you with such up and down/,back and forth and incredible inside out abnormality -it's like your in a bubble that compells you to keep entrapped but drags you so far down to the point of exasperation.

[@debbiemillo1556]

Got devastated with an abrupt end and 5 years of ghosted to return later. He confused and twisted me more with looking sincere and regretful quick visits from afar and his confusion with a third party gor another long period of time. Would never give me one lousy word/text/call of communication/explanation -just always involving but never including. Wanted but didn't want and /hate but loved/blamed me but stalked/spying on me. Still goes on after all these years. Wow how someone can mess you up/over big time with their years of complexity/situationship but you don't know what it is and reel you in and shove you back out. You think they just need time to sort them or their life out. Then you feel exaspperated and then You don't know what is what anymore.

[@kaz6218]

@@debbiemillo1556Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry you lived through what you described. I too went through an almost identical cycle. I finally spoke up and walked away for good this year. He was so mad, and he still can’t believe it, spies, etc. Who cares? Life is too short to be that hard. I have my own love now. And can only thank him for one of my two hardest lessons. Sending you and everyone here great care ✨

[@annewellmann8867]

​@@debbiemillo1556 "involving but never including" - well said!

[@melissabrzescinski494]

Avoidants are sociopaths or narcissists. They have no capacity to love. Leave these people where they stand. Never look back.

[@veebliss1266]

🎉 absolutely ! They will keep harming people because they won’t work on themselves ! Most are incurable with disorders as serious as narcissism and sociopathy .

[@matjazb.157]

You can't beat the their false chemistry ...

[@MarkoKraguljac]

disrupted chemistry*

[@desiemehrabian1133]

He resisted the feelings- no “I love you”

[@ayalovenaturals]

He resisted for well into a year. Sit on the phone with me for hours, everyday. Then i realized he only wanted to tslk about himself. Same stories over and over. He'd open up then pulll back, like a yo yo. I leave then he opens up. I come back, same exact behavior proceeds. Thiz time i left and stop responding. He so in love all of a sudden, wants to be married, i know itll be the same ish.

[@cookieintune]

We still have do deal with the pain

[@CarolStanhope]

I avoid avoidants! Lol 😅💯🔥

[@gzesofsuburbia]

It kinda pisses me off that this guy suggests you should stay in a relationship to protect the other persons feelings. When all you’re doing is causing further harm. The only thing you should do if you feel like you need to exit is do just that and stay alone until you are capable of healing and attaching to someone in a healthy way. Even if the current partner is great you unfortunately have met them at the wrong time in your life because you are unable to provide a genuine type of love that everyone deserves in a committed relationship.

[@fadingfrontier]

He never suggested that.

[@TheFlamingScarlet]

​@@fadingfrontier he said they were being selfish for breaking up like... ? Not being able to get romantically attached anymore is a valid reason to break up. It would be more selfish to stay depending on the extent of the issue

[@Soulace99]

Thank you!!!!

[@MarisolDiaz-il3cf]

I left him 😢

[@Ad-nu4tk]

what if this happens automatically before I can even get into a damn relationship

[@creatureofstyle]

I'm running into that a lot too. They all say they like me, I'm sweet and kind and that's hard to find, but... 🙄 Half ghosted, half tell me some easily fixable reason and all of them do this the minute things start to get more emotionally close

[@Ad-nu4tk]

@ from my end, trust me, it hurts so so much to have this pattern and it’s truly not something in my control. I feel so broken and alone in this everyday. All I want is to feel feelings yet I’m left feeling repulsed and disconnected and have to end it. It’s horrible. I think the only difference is that I disclose all of this to the person I’m seeing and explain what happens/tries to work through it. I understand you pain and frustration when you’re on the reciprocating end and they don’t provide insight into it

[@hrbob8349]

I share a lot of your vids to my ex. It's educational.

[@Iamanillusion1]

Please don't do that you look desperate it's an ex

[@lilianoliveira5027]

@@Iamanillusion1agreed, our biggest mistake is trying to save theme🤦🏽‍♀️ if we take a second to think how difficult it is to change ourselves how can we possibly think we’re able to change others!? That’s like shooting ourselves in the foot🤦🏽‍♀️

[@eminamusaefendic2001]

I love you but I’m not in love with you part sounds very familiar. Thanks Ryan for all the videos. They are really helpful in the recovery process

[@jakajajestem]

Isn't that happening in so called 'healthy' relationship? Can the 'love' just go away? And what is then 'the love'? Is it physical attraction? Can it come from confusing love with 'being in love' and all the butterflies that eventually are diasappearing..?

[@positivepilot-at]

what if anxious person hurts the avoidant????

[@ik6577]

Coach Ryan recorded video about this last week

[@Seojin-r4h]

My boyfriend is anxious and I'm an avoidant, honestly it rlly depends on the person. I get really hurt and usually in the past I'd cut the person out of my life, but I really want it to work with my boyfriend snd he helps me communicate my feelings so so much. I feel really sad ans numb with no happiness from him for like a good day which just breaks my heart but he comforts me so well and helps me come back to reality which is that I do love him very much

[@veebliss1266]

The avoidant will retaliate by punishing the anxious duh

[@waslias]

How?

[@rocio7499]

I'm an anxious I retaliated on an avoidant...why? because he hurt Me badly and he got away with it...let's not have a pitty party for u avoidants because u know exactly what u guys do hurt others and when someone hurts u back u walk away and blame the other for doing that. if theres to be compassion is for the anxious who are open and have a big heart who get hurt by an avoidant badly....sorry u guys aren't saints

[@Joanna.Swiderska333]

❤❤❤

[@Nonfiction.Reader]

👍👏

[@Mikehunthertz51]

I think that may be me but I would rather avoid than go through what I went through again.

[@Lukearthwalker]

Oh boohoo, it's soooooo painful for you!! You know what, FU, It's avoidants like you that are the reason why 95% of these comment sections are telling people to run away from you and don't look back. You only care about what YOU went through, jeez, grow up, or grow a pair, or do some personal growth, instead of just complaining about how awful YOU have it! Gawd almighty, all you're doing is adding to the "Avoidant's are A__holes" trope while ignoring the other person's pain that you've left in your wake!

[@ayeshasohail2586]

Seems like exiting relationships is the only option for Westerners. Lol.

[@chelsealeigh2417]

I don't agree with "avoidants don't think about the other person" I worked myself up in a knot for 3 years before I actually left my partner because I knew how badly it would hit him. But the relationship became so toxic that we couldn't stand being around each other to the point that we ended up in a physical fight. We have been split for a year now and I still feel like I made the right decision. He was the most attentive partner I have ever had, and I do miss him. I know a lot of it is my fault and I have lot to work through but I don't regret my decision.

[@jeffreychandler8418]

A more accurate term is "you care more about yourself than the other person." Your fear of hurting him was also partly selfish, you couldn't handle how it might hurt him.

[@MichelleMarieSpranger-v6h]

I once made the mistake of saying "I don't love you" to a man whom I dated online yet never met face-to-face. He broke up with me and never forgave me. Due to my social environment, I doubt I will ever find a truly healthy partner.

[@MarkoKraguljac]

"Dating online" is a special nutcase of avoidant and other broken behaviors.

[@OnMyGrindNowForever]

So you are, essentially, describing the average man.

[@godspurple4805]

😂😂😂this comment made me tickled.

[@jeffreychandler8418]

lmfao. women*

[@DivineLightPaladin]

Well about 70% of men in the US had physical trauma and bonding with their mother ruined if they were born in the US or other places where it's still legal to force surgery on them. Physically cut off from the ability to bond because of literal pain caused by it.

[@OnMyGrindNowForever]

@DivineLightPaladin What do you mean by "forced surgery"? You mean C-section? I think almost all men are avoidant because of societal conditioning.

[@annekecglas1096]

Is there any hope for these people?

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

From what I have read, lots of therapy which may be years long. It takes them recognizing they need help.

[@loopsearcherbot]

​@@RayRayNDemUSAMine went into therapy for a year and a half before discarding me

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

@@loopsearcherbotWow. Sometimes, they may be dishonest during therapy sessions.

[@Polly1589]

​@@loopsearcherbot Mine was in therapy for like 2 weeks then discarded me. It was 2 months after our wedding. Brutal ...

[@AIinsiderscentral]

​@@Polly1589😢💔❤️‍🩹

[@nickeyivy721]

Why do you think they are perfect in the beginning? It's true. But no one talks about how coaches know this part? ❤

[@fadingfrontier]

I saw a video where coach Ryan said he had an avoidant partner. It's an interview with a girl, a podcast. You can find it on this channel.

[@mariliis249]

I am avoidant😎 i lose suddenly feelings but its because my partner did something wrong that i felt he is not masculine enough. Its been with 3 partners. Its just happens. I stayd in first relationship 4 years in other 12 years but i lost feelings and they diddnt come back. I really hoped they will. But yes, if i cant look man as hero i lose feelings.

[@chasz8487]

I broke up with my avoidant she went no contact with me. I did more for her, her children and dying mother than any past boyfriends. Do you think she is coming back my guess is no

[@Seojin-r4h]

​@@chasz8487maybe bc ur the one who broke up with her, she won't come back. Communication is key

[@soulessENERGY]

By not masculine enough in guessing vulnerability in a man reminds you of your own feelings and vulnerability so you deactivate.

[@Iamanillusion1]

Narcs do this too so it's confusing

[@chasz8487]

They have no soul they lie and cheat. While this is going on, they are talking to an ex or another guy. I broke up with mine I would bet everything i own she was immediately with someone else.

[@Seojin-r4h]

That is not true at all, maybe for you but don't generalize every avoidant like that. I'm avoidant and I love my boyfriend with all my heart and he is the only one that matters and I know that me and him are getting married one day