When you get TRIGGERED

One of the most misused words nowadays is TRIGGERED. In this video, you’ll find out what a trigger is and what it is not. You’ll also learn a 7 step process to help you create greater mindfulness to reduce the intensity and frequency of these events. You’ll also get some tips on what to do if you get stuck in a trigger funk.
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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!
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📸Photography by Kelsey Smith Photography
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[@InnerIntegration]

I no longer offer one-on-one coaching sessions so I've partnered with BetterHelp, an affordable online therapy portal where you can get matched with a licensed counselor who specializes in abuse and trauma. - Get 10% off your first month with this link: betterhelp.com/innerintegration

[@michaeltucker6666]

Manchester accent!!!! How did you know ?! 😂😘 you made me spit out my coffee.

[@InnerIntegration]

Ha! I worked with a covert narc from there. He was the one who would tell the retreat guests if they didn’t have compassion for Hitler then they aren’t actually a compassionate person. Great way to minimize his covert abuse, which in the end wasn’t so covert after all.

[@Analysis_Paralysis]

Dear Meredith, what can we do about triggers that don't stem from the past? What can I do about the injustice that my people (and me) have been facing daily for the last 18 years due to the war America started 18 years ago? This war kills 300 innocent people daily, half of which are children. :( What do I do to not be triggered by Western war propaganda and lethal airstrikes or the images/videos of children with missing limbs and the horrible pain they're enduring in their daily lives and the heartbreak of their parents? What do I do about my heartbreak?

[@ruebenbrown2409]

Thanks for posting helpful material. I know you speak the truth. Regular, moderate exercise without anger helps break the cycle once triggered. Please like this video.

[@franklooking4light851]

@@Analysis_Paralysis I think nobody is able to give a satisfying answer to your questions. War always creates pain and suffering and produces people who get severely traumatized. This is a different level than dealing with a toxic person in a relationship, although it's disastrous enough too. The war has to come to an end before it is possible to work on those triggers and this is only one single problem among a pile of others. It will take time to overcome bitterness and heartbreak and some wounds might stay forever. All I can do now from here is sending you a big hug.

[@franciscoramirezespanagarc7974]

In elementary school I was an average or even below average student. The first month of 5th grade I was the first in my class. It surprised everyone, myself included. Some kids began to bully me and the teacher did nothing about it. She even punished me with discipline reports. At that time I was programmed to believe that I had no right nor the strength to defend myself. Now, every time I am in the verge of excelling at anything, I get triggered by this experience. I’ve been feeling the fear that caused me and replacing it with confidence, reminding myself that now I am fully aware of the fact that I have the right but also the strength to stand up for myself. I hope to report god results soon!

[@mimishkaz]

"Maybe in childhood you learned that having a disagreement meant you were gonna be abandoned." Oof, that one hit me in the soul.

[@yellowbubblequeen]

Haha. Love this video. I have a neighbor that keeps using my trash can bc he doesn’t take his to the curb and therefor his fills up and he feels like he can use mine. I’ve talked to the manager about it. I’ve tried to “go the extra mile” and take his trash out as a favor. I’ve talked to him about it, reminding him when the trash days are and that it’s unfair to make your neighbor take your trash out. No change. I thought about getting a lock for my trash can, but thought it was too much. But Meredith says I have to take responsibility. So I’m getting a lock for my trash can!!! Haha. Silly example but it’s true. I’m also leaving my job this month. It’s too demanding and is causing me to neglect my health, spirituality, and family. If I stay, it’s only my fault if things deteriorate more. Love this reminder of self responsibility. Thanks Meredith!!

[@pavanatanaya]

Sarcasm and blunt force mocking place me in that state. I don't defend my self. I attack the attack. Sarcastic people, when confronted by sincerity, have only themselves to examine.

[@beautydefined1601]

What do you mean by sincerity?

[@pavanatanaya]

Beauty Defined sarcastic people are angry. Their anger is coming out sideways, as a way of sidestepping a genuine interaction. It's a lazy form of controlling people. Sincerity is coming out of hiding. Not to get anything, simply to let go of the illusion of control

[@JollyCelery]

This is one of the best, most important videos you've ever made. Way too much overuse of the word and people using being triggered as an excuse to stifle opinions or beliefs. Bravo!!!!

[@rickaster]

I was in a mental fog for a couple of years, disconnected from my feelings and not able to identify and label most of the things that were triggering me. During that period, walking and the simplest forms of housekeeping were the best things to restore my equilibrium after I was hit by something out of the past and I didn't know what hit me.

[@tundeterez]

You are so right! Your triggers are your responsibility. To deal with triggers we need to have emotional fitness and to be fit it does take work, but well worth it :)

[@InnerIntegration]

“Emotional fitness” great term!

[@AngelKrystalStar]

It's shocking to me how these memories can be deleated. My memories are so clear but I just didn't think of them for so many years when still in contact with my abuser.

[@dandeliongreens4664]

Not until I became enlightened about narcissistic abuse did I even realize I had triggers. I have so many behaviors and choices I've made throughout my life that I now realize were the result of triggers, shaped by triggers. Being aware of, naming, and taking control of triggers is a life-changer. Thank you for this video, it is one to be watched a few times I think. An additional tip for when a person is stuck, in a funk: I've found journal writing at those times, for me, to be problematic as it tends to take me deeper into my feelings and more stuck, more gloomy. But ART journaling (and, trust me, I am not at all artistic) to be very healing when the feelings are really stuck and gloomy. Instead of writing, I draw my feelings, I create a picture of them and that helps to release them. Because I do this in a journal, I do not care one bit that I have no artistic skill and just go with it.

[@MaluzOrozco]

I used to get triggered by the Mercedes Logo. I saw my ex driving back from his new supply house during a panic attack I was going through, right after the discard, and when I saw him approaching I yelled and jumped as if I was watching something really dangerous like... a bear attacking me or something like that. I moved away and I now live close to a Mercedes Car agency so every time I saw the logo I felt fear, I got sweaty and tense and tried not to look at it but it’s being like almost 2 months where I do the opposite I look at it with eyes wide open and I just say to myself while breathing deep: it’s just a logo, I’m safe now, he’s not there, he is away, he can’t hurt me now. I’m ok. It is slowly fading away.

[@InnerIntegration]

Great way to rescue yourself and reprogram! 🙌

[@user-us7vw3yq8p]

I've had to stay at my mums in the past to get away. I was expecting him to grab me in the street. One day I had to walk up mums road and an old lady suddenly straightened up from behind her hedge and said hello. I nearly died my hands flew up to my face and I breathed in super loud, I felt so stupid. Also I had images in my mind sort of grey ones when I was out and about. One image was teeth clenching in stress but with no lips just all teeth. And the other was a tennis ball coming towards my face (I was spat at). I would wake up every morning and immediately cry and see nooses in my mind, and even nasty faces on the walls at one point because I think it was turning into psychotic depression. Thankfully that was its worst. Love to you xx

[@billhoward532]

Triggers - you have to feel them to heal them.

[@billhoward532]

Good show Patrick.

[@franklooking4light851]

The process is like defusing a dud bomb or a land mine. The trigger itself isn't the problem. It's the explosive material that gets ignited by the trigger at a certain event. As long as both parts are connected together the construction is dangerous. The procedure is first to avoid the triggering event and then to separate the trigger from the explosive part. Finally the explosive material can be disposed in a controlled way. When this is done the trigger can go off, but there is nothing left that can detonate and eventually it isn't a trigger any more. So the 7 steps are instructions to figuratively dismantle an explosive object.

[@InnerIntegration]

Great analogy!

[@deelot1]

A combination of things are helping me with triggers: daily meditation, journaling, seeing a therapist and receiving Ayurvedic treatment from another practitioner. The mind, body and spirit needs consistent loving attention as a way of life to build resilience when triggers come up. Also when I’ve been triggered lately, because I was more aware of what it was it felt healing when I took action. In my case it was using my voice, saying no and walking away from that person. I experienced a lot more energy in my body afterwards.

[@shack109]

This experience isn’t from narcissism or abuse but I’m sure you can see the parallels. Years ago when I worked construction I took a 14 ft fall head first on a concrete footing. Yea, it knocked my ass out cold and yea, it really hurt, my back was messed up for 6 months. 10 plus years later I was working for a farmer during harvest season, I had to climb up a silo to see how full it was. As soon as I was about 20 ft up the experience of my fall years ago hit me like a freight train. I was reliving that experience, every detail, I could even physically feel the pain. Problem was I had a group of guys on the ground telling me to get my ass moving and I had another 30 ft to go. At that point I didn’t look down and made sure I had good footing and a good grip on each rung of the ladder. When I got to the top I had to yell back down how full the silo was, I was 50 ft up and that required me to look down. I thought I was going to die, my heart was racing and my muscles felt like jello. After I got down I thought hard about the experience, impressed on how powerful the human brain is to relive an experience and for it to even give you physical pain. Stubborn me not wanting it to beat me I volunteered for every silo climb, 50, 60 and even 70 ft in the air, I forced myself to make that climb. Each climb got a little easier because I forced my mind into the here and now and did not let the bad memory control me. My advice is separate the past from the present, trust yourself and your ability, and keep on climbing, it’ll be ok.

[@michaeltucker6666]

AJ HILL excellent story and advice !! You had me at every rung ! I love knowing your goal was to conquer the fear ! That’s EXACTLY how the trigger stops reappearing. !!

[@InnerIntegration]

This is a great example of trauma triggers that can come from various kinds of life experiences.

[@PortraitofAsha]

Awesome

[@seadweller6clicks967]

Great story! The advice in this is golden. It reminds me to be stubborn and force through the things I fear or am weak with in ALL different aspects of life. Thanks for sharing.

[@claredodd1258]

@@seadweller6clicks967 Yes excellent example. This guy is living proof you can reprogram your brain so the original trauma loses its power.

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

That “time heals all wounds” is a total myth. That’s what abusers like to say. It’s reassuring to hear you say that time alone isn’t going to heal the wounds, but doing the actual inner work of reprogramming the mind through changing our thoughts, mindfulness, meditation, therapy, etc.

[@ernestobusnelli5892]

Totally with you on your take @Breakthrough Moment - Time only collects dust, spiderwebs, cracks and moss. You need to dust and do the maintenance otherwise... You just get old and all around deteriorates. ;-)

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

Ernesto Busnelli 👍

[@fionappleisthebest]

Jesus heals. I’ve been through narcissistic abuse twice. Went through therapy tried meditating and got a little bit into the new age. Then I realized I could not sustain my own happiness. Now that Jesus is in my life He sustains me in every need. His presence is real just like meditation will take you to a spiritual realm, the realm of Jesus is where it’s at. Nothing feels better to a human than being reconnected with God. What does one have to lose by taking a leap of faith? Nothing. But one may gain everything in God. He is real and He is Good. Bless everyone here healing from abuse.

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

ChildOfChrist Agreed!! As long as it’s experiential and not just dogma. Meditation and spiritual knowledge help one stay connected to God.

[@fionappleisthebest]

Breakthrough Moment thanks & meditating on anything other than the word of God isn’t of God. Yeah it has to be an experience with God not just dogma you are SOOOO RIGHT!! Love to you!!!

[@bibolcs]

Stress, Stress and more Stress, To be "Triggered" means that my adrenal glands are segregating a lot of Cortisol and Adrenaline in my body, its to be ON OR GO, GO all the time in alert or "Fight or Flight" mode and restless, that is why you are piss off or very nerves with a toxic person around to piss you off more and more... Greetings from Virginia, The United States of America.

[@Evernia6181]

I like how you point out that we have a responsibility to ourselves to manage our emotions beyond/versus blaming others for triggering us. Running is a great tool in my funkbusting arsenal.

[@wentingzhao9389]

I agree, have been running for months, really helps! More calm and mindful.

[@Mgsa20]

I just went through a couple of days being really triggered. The thing I felt helpful to calm myself was to go do art. I put on some music and just painted. When I was done I felt so much calmer.

[@canadianlady777]

This makes so much sense...The message is certainly something I want to think about and put into practice...Sounds like a lot of work I need to do on myself...but I live with the biggest trigger of all and I wonder how successful I will be...I think I will need to permanently get away from my husband the covert narcissist...

[@melissaadams8773]

How do I begin to heal when the narc who stole my kids still has them & still uses them as weapons against me? After 8 years...no healing, no help.

[@InnerIntegration]

Check out a video I made about 2 months ago When The Narcissist Uses Your Kids As Pawns

[@anneneem]

I'm so glad I found your channel. You don't just ramble about what abusive people do, the consequences they have to ones overall health, but you also provide solutions. Thank you so much!!! Was looking for something like this forever.

[@jaykay3839]

Thank you for the explanation. It makes a lot more sense now. I'm currently shopping for a therapist. I hope I can find a good one. I love the reminder to get out in nature. It is such a healer. My covert narc MIL lobbed a nice little grenade at my 12 year old daughter right before Christmas when she gifted my youngest child a hand made keepsake, completely skiping over my 12 year old. She has given each of my three older children at least one of the same kind of custom, hand made keepsakes then MIL got rid of all her equipment used to make them. My 12 year old daughter will remain the only grandchild who never got one. MIL sent a used one that she didn't make for my 12 year old saying she ran out of time to make hers. It was a very good cover but I heard that dog whistle and so did my daughter. Unfortunately, my husband is trauma bonded and tried ignoring, then denying it was done on purpose, then he said I'm making too big a deal out of it, then he said if his mother is a narcissist, then she has a mental disorder so she can't help it. Needless to say that really pissed me off. Anyway, we traveled to the coast for Christmas instead of being with the in laws. MIL sees that as a huge insult. All holidays must revolve around her. And I'm pretty sure it's the main reason she pulled the keepsake trick right before we left for our trip. Being out in the fresh sea air with a forest right across the street really helped take the edge off the anger I felt about the way MIL treats some of my children and the stunt she had just pulled on my 12 year old. I mean there were moments when it got the best of me but it wasn't as bad as it would normally had been had we stayed at home. That ocean air mixed with the ethereal forest view was magical and even MIL couldn't take that away. We're building a house up in the foothills in our area and it's also surprisingly calming up there. I wasn't looking forward to moving but it's so peaceful up there I can't help but think it'll be worth it.

[@InnerIntegration]

It will be worth the peace your family will have there!

[@pedromartins3783]

Thanks meredith!!! You have no idea how much you help me!! You keep at it!!! From Lisboa, Portugal; Obrigado!!!!

[@sinistradeathmetal]

I have triggered all my life in time to take the shower, cause there is where my father hit and hurt me hard. So I have the same fear too in anybody house, I can't be in the water while the door open even with a lovely person confidence or a famale friend, I don't feel safe if one is cleaning teeth and me behind the courtain...i feel so much anxiety keeping an eye outside that i make excuses to not bath

[@macoeur1122]

Sounds a bit like the main message here is "taking responsibility for healing ourselves is the only way out of the continuous trauma loop".... I love that this is such a "simple" idea...one that can be deeply considered as a primary truth...and therefore, more easily "downloaded" or "integrated" to eventually become something like a "second nature" response to triggers. Thank you Meredith!

[@jenniferdowell9002]

Thank you so much Meredith.

[@goldieh7121]

Thank you Meredith! You described a trigger I went through yesterday. Someone I thought was pretty reasonable requested something unreasonable in return for something they offered. My first response was panic and trying to figure out how to meet their request. I started feeling out of control and unable to concentrate. I have been recognizing lately that I owe people who I think are nice and helping me or offering me something I'd like. I finally decided what they were offering isn't worth me giving in and compromising myself. I felt so much better after realizing that . Now, I am getting up the courage to actually tell that person no. It is hard because I was taught growing up that it was wrong to disagree with someone who is supposedly looking out for you.

[@InnerIntegration]

Great insight!

[@goldieh7121]

@@InnerIntegration Thank you Meredith! 💕 I just sent an email turning down the offer with the request. I felt triggered sending it (like I'm going to get in trouble), but it's better than the rabbit hole I'd be going down if I began agreeing to things that compromised myself. It should start getting easier when I start believing I deserve more than I was taught I deserved.

[@MikaakaPebbles]

I suffer from cptsd. I was friends/romantically involved with a coworker. We were in the early stages of this romantic relationship after being friends for 1 year or so. But immediately she started dating one of the supervisors. She would flirt with him in front of me and go to lunch to have sex with him. She tried to act as if we were just friends and would try to maintain a friendship with me after dropping me like a hot potato. After a while we weren’t “friends” anymore. The only time she’d come to talk to me is when rumors around the office said that I said she was sleeping with the supervisor. I didn’t start the rumor (it was a fact but I didn’t tell the office about it), but no one was stupid. She flirted with him in front of everyone and everyone saw them leave and come back together for lunch. Either way, I was the scape goat in the office. I eventually found out that she told ppl in the office about what transpired between me and her romantically. I didn’t react or anything and the rumor mill began again. This back and forth went on for at least 2 years. Recently, she tried to rekindle a friendship with me during our office xmas party. A new male supervisor was offering to buy us drinks and was holding her in the small of her back and immediately I felt like I was going to faint. All of what happened in the years prior began to flood my mind and it felt like a repeat. I felt bad about the feelings that I was feeling bc I’ve worked so hard to get over the pain that I’ve been in from that traumatic experience. But the right word was triggered. I’m sorry for the long comment.

[@trudiswanson9855]

That's so awful that a female narcissist co-worker tricked you and your vulnerability into her poison web. I hope you are out of that painful situation now. She knew your buttons/ triggers and pushed them. I really sympathize and wish you all the best in standing strong against her tactics (if still in the situation) and becoming strong and peaceful in your heart. But mostly to be aware of wicked types like that to not 'give yourself away' to another like her by being aware of *1 What weakness in you they exploit. And *2 The conversation tricks they employ to lure your trust. You have strengths and talent, love these first. All the best. 🌸

[@janniejeanjellybean3803]

Realized it was her Not you

[@ajayreddy8732]

Don’t be sorry man. Speak your truth where you feel comfortable. Your feelings and experience are valid and real. God bless

[@DeborahLArmstrong]

This is something I've worked very hard on for the past year and have been seeing some big results. It can be hard not to slip into that victim-thinking when you are triggered but you have to take responsibility for your own reactions and learn to control them while still processing what happened. Not easy at all, but you can do it if you work hard at it!

[@InnerIntegration]

Excellent insights!

[@juliegarceau5414]

Thanks! It's exclactly what I experienced. I had been trough panic attacks. And with the help of a therapist, I identified my triggers and worked on it. I have to work on it every day. But my life is so better now!

[@kimberlymccracken747]

Thanks Meredith. Good timing. I am currently in a "trigger funk". It has occurred in conjunction with husband going out of town. Prior to that, it was while a passenger in the car last night. Whew! Lots to work on. Feeling quite exhausted. 💗💗💗💗💗

[@dianaboughner7977]

Thank you Meredith ❤ yes, I takes a long time to address long term CPTSD. It is a journey not a destination. When I think all is well, going well, then suddenly I am totally derailed and usually have no idea what triggered the FUNK (great descriptive word!) I may become completely messy emotionally, meaning that I become incapable of meditating, eating nutritious foods, breathing properly (not aware), positive emotions or thoughts, personal time schedules (eating, sleeping), and I know wonderful ways to help myself ( music, nature, writing, etc.) but I am resistant to taking action to any of it! Just finally pulled out of a 5 day funk. Doing better today and reflecting on possible triggers. Whatever the trigger was, it paralyzed me into a loop of helplessness, frustration, depression, anxiety and fatigue. Whew. I need to recognize what is occurring right away and take positive action but I was resistant to this common sense. A rather self-punishing episode. Long history of that but even though I am much more aware of those facts these episodes still happen. Feeling much better today and can actually laugh at the reflection of my unhelpful thoughts and behaviour as perhaps a ridiculous but necessary purging of something in my trauma body. 💞

[@sherrim4067]

Ten years ago I woke up to my house being on fire. So for years I could.not.see a fire or an explosion in a movie or on TV. Fires on the news would put me.back into that mindframe of not being able to breathe and looking for exits. I would have sleepless nights thinking I could smell smoke. It took years, and the methods she mentioned helped alot. So if you are listening please try it, breathe, ask yourself " why" and stopping them before they start really helps. Glass of water helps me. Fresh air helps.

[@NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

Thanks for this empowering message 🔥 My favorite healer is nature 🌿

[@InnerIntegration]

Nature is wonderful!

[@spasticclown]

What I appreciate most about your videos is that you emphasize proactive steps where personal responsibility is at the core to healing. The focus is not only just maintaining a victim mentality. I agree identification of the source and ways that the abuse was administered are important. But, the “okay, now what?” is sometimes not addressed. I want to not only find healing but to improve my behaviors and responses. I’ve seen the method work too. Last Friday, I successfully grey rocked my emotionally abusive (NPD) father. I mean I don’t know if it worked 100% because I am distancing myself from him, but it felt good to respond and not react. And I kept my integrity.

[@juliea.]

I recently was triggered by bumping into a man I dated 20 years ago. I spent two weeks as an emotional wreck and finally booked a therapy appointment.

[@stephaniecostello2262]

Meredith, thank you for your willingness to say the hard things, like the reminder to take responsibility for my triggers. 🦋

[@starrhall8160]

Thank u...ur a blessing. U understand.

[@sophiemana5164]

Wow, yes, the laying down on mother earth with your belly is soo powerful! When nothing else works during intense terror emotions being triggered, this one nearly always does calm me down a bit. Very healing ❤️ And another one (this one is for the trigger "funk") that helps me when I just can't stop thinking so extremely negative over and over and over again; having an ICE cold shower! seems to reset everything for some time :) And another one this is also when I can't quiet my mind (again trigger funk) : creating art from it (acting); I don't share it, I think I better not;), but I do record it for myself on camera and I speak out the most horrible conversations I've had (The ones that keep on being repeated in my head) I step into the shoes of the abuser and start acting my ass off and by making it SO big (I'm talking covert narcissism here), it becomes hilarious and I end up laughing about it... Also having your "barrs run" (google 'access consciousness', as with everything, especially for (c)ptsd, it depends a lot on who is giving the treatment. But I found it a very interesting way of releasing trauma and feeling soo much better right afterwards :)

[@WondersInTheWasteland]

God bless you Meredith. Words can't even begin to express how much your wisdom and insight has helped us both during these past 7 months of No Contact from both our families. Much love to you from us and our kitties! 💖🐱✨Adam and Katey

[@trudytru8224]

So so helpful, just being in a relationship after a very long time keeping everyone at safe distance. A hermit basically so now im bk in the world everything so overwhelming. It helps to know how to tk responsibility thankyou

[@claredodd1258]

The most well explained and deeply understood videos I've watched on this particular issue.

[@RoxyMs567]

Extremely helpful video. I need to write a list of my triggers. I am now aware of being triggered by certain types of music. A song from the past triggered me the song was in my head I started singing a new song out loud to cancel the old song out. I am getting better and better it happened again today. I am singing the new song now. I am at peace. I am also careful about where I go and who I talk to. Thank you I plan to come back to this video and write down everything you said. The main thing is I am responsible for myself. Thank you.

[@dant6542]

Great video. Music can also be a major trigger for me, either the piece itself or the lyrics. I welcome that one trigger which always offers me an opportunity to feel something, learn something, or change something.

[@mahmoudnassiri2840]

Spend loving kindness time with your pet(s) when feeling the pain of trigger moments.

[@perlgirl534]

Your triggers are your responsibility. That really hit home for me. Thanks.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

OMG. Thank you so much. I find that a lot of KZbin commenters attempt to shut down ppl that disagree with them by accusing them of being triggered.

[@andreatankard198]

Also, I feel in a low mood on the weekends because I used to dread my father being home. Saturday’s meant feeling helpless, stupid, rejected, ignored, scared, like I shouldn’t have been born, scared of being physically hurt, scared of unpredictable anger etc

[@elanabethfariss117]

Funny you mentioned British accent from Manchester. My mother is from Manchester, England. After over 80 years being a U.S. citizen she still holds that strong accent, ugh. It is a constant battle, and it's hard to know how to react when they start pushing your buttons, so don't react? This is good, Meredith, and thank you so much. I've shared this because so many need to realize also that this is an opportunity to face the things you struggle with so that you can be free of them.

[@samsacres225]

Thank you. I was crashing after I thought I managed a trigger and woke to it being my first thought! This really helped

[@quinnm.3127]

Thank-you, this was so in-depth! :)

[@anaeagleeyes60feliz5]

Precisely I needed to hear this. Btw you have a beautiful smile.

[@jennifermorgan4527]

You have opens my eyes to so much understanding. I knew something was blocking me but I just didn’t know what. I have been through so much and I have suppressed that pain and stayed around the abuser hoping that they would change. Then I was in shame because of who was the abuser. Absolutely life changing 😓

[@aliceroberts1980]

I get flashes of movies or music. I will just remember a movie I watched I don’t get it. All of my trigger are to do with my N husband like he said something mean that hurt me. I have been with him for 35 years.I don’t remember any of the things he said or done somethings I remember. But it hard to write down the things he done because I can’t remember he loves to twist things so you do confused I can’t remember.

[@Bittagrit]

I went to see a psychologist and during the second appointment she told me I reminded her of a woman described in the Bible. Later that day I thought of that, and decided to read the scripture. This sent me into 2 days of meltdown. I cried so hard I could not breathe.

[@franniefaye3945]

I've been with my husband nearly seven years. He won't allow me to disagree with him ever. Any time I do, and trust me I try to be calm and sweet when I'm disagreeing - immediate temper tantrum and then I'm ignored for days. During the first 4 years it was almost intolerable, the emotional abuse. I learned to just nod and smile to survive. I'd rather humiliate myself than go through a week of his silent treatment and silent anger. When the cashier at the grocery store scanned the wrong price, I felt near panic when I had to tell her it wasn't the right price. I even considered just paying the higher price tag because I was SO afraid of a confrontation. I tried to take a deep breath to calm down and my husband told me I was "embarrassing" him in public with my "hysteria". I love your tip on rescuing yourself, I just wonder if I have the mental and emotional energy to help myself. I can't just leave him right now. Thank you.

[@DaBlondDude]

Well huh, this connected a few dots, it never occurred to me that this could be what's happening but that explains a lot (I would never have thought of that as a trigger; just beat myself up about "another bad/stupid reaction") ... also offers new ideas on how to address it (it seems overpowering enough I dissociate then kick myself later for wherever it went). Thanks

[@karifoto]

This was very helpful, thanks.

[@erockfreedom6399]

Thank you so so much. I needed this. What if the place is your apartment, neighborhood -- can't afford to move, the PTSD during and after narcissistic abuse, seemed to come at me from all directions in a dense amount of time (progressively over the last decade). My sister's death woke me up to the "Narcissistic Cult Family System" I grew up in .. thank you for that video too. I am 37 but I was out if there by the time I was 18. In the last several years, I'm financially "supported" , parents will and old age being held over me.... And I'm I'm inundated with grief. I find it horrifying, and I feel like my body is shutting down. In the apartment I live alone in (with my amazing dog, thank God for her - I know you can relate :-) .... Things have happened here, I have no financial resources to move yet. In addition, I have a Psychopathic downstairs neighbor in the form of an old lady, who I looked to as a friend, and put me through the whole abuse cycle. I'm not sure which of your podcasts are videos I was but you spoke about nightmares that you were having . I'm having really similar sleep disturbances too. Somehow I'm in a group of people, exes are in it, my father sometimes, who I find myself having a good time with until things turn and being betrayed somehow... Can't find my wallet or shoes. Always in a strange city or neighborhood that's not familiar to me. I have therapy tomorrow, but I'm so exhausted at this point and no idea if she's a good fit. It feels like my life has been taken from me and it's hard to see hope..... But your videos, and the channels of a few others,have been a lifeline for me. Thank you, Eric

[@lauraraines767]

Hi my name is Laura, I'm a new subscriber. I just want to say thank you and these videos really help me.

[@meirastraley4283]

Youre videos always pop up when I need them most. I experienced a few triggers yesterday and while I had been fine for a while yesterday was the first time in a while I couldnt get hold of it. Sometimes the emotions just come too fast and the trigger isnt identifiable at the time. Good news is while today I'm exhausted I notice im doing much better about moving forward about it. Thank you for posting these videos. They really do help

[@littleiodine9480]

Very, very helpful. I also needed the reminder to sing and dance. I used to. I forgot, I used to say music is magic and it is. Thank you.

[@adambailey3257]

I swear you are psychic, you always post new content that directly related to what I am seeking to heal, many thanks.....

[@beautydefined1601]

Her videos are a blessing from God!🙌

[@lesliegann2737]

There are also triggers that happen with other people. Example: growing up you felt like you were ignored by the people who are supposed to love you. Then you go to a social event and there is a person or people who are ignoring you, cutting you off when you attempt to contribute to the conversation or simply not interested in you enough to have a conversation etc. This would fall under the category of "social anxiety".

[@EdHosking]

The trigger response in us translates as :"The throw some drama around" response in Narcissists and Histrionics. The "How does this reflect on me? ", "What is the natural response to this ?"," What is everyone else doing and how are they reacting?" "Have they suspected my trauma and the difference in my thinking ?" "Do they know but what I am doing and saying by the way I am responding to this? " ,"Does the way I am reacting give it away? " , In Psychopaths it will trigger the "How do I manage/manipulate this situation to my advantage ?" response which is also true of Sociopaths but they have also got the "Straight to explode some disproportionate emotions all over the place" or the "I can work with this" responses (and they go back to manipulating and managing it to their advantage) as we all know. Staying calm and detached works as well for them to manage their emotions and and diminish their fears as much as the victims of their abuses apparently, it's relearning the normal " react or respond " behaviors that is the key to beating the triggers.

[@progressnotperfection9920]

So much of my childhood I cant remember. It's like a big portion was blacked out. You said our brain deletes trauma from our memory. That finally explains it. No therapist has ever explained why I can't remember.

[@InnerIntegration]

Yes it’s called abuse amnesia

[@progressnotperfection9920]

@@InnerIntegration I stopped therapy because I didn't feel like I was improving and now I'm currently trying to use your tips and advice to improve my life.

[@mittu1814]

thanks meredith, been watching you for a year or so. It's so surreal when I hear someone actually doing the explanation. Because I have been doing this, but I didn't recognize it. Thanks again.

[@B1-CynD]

Really great advice overall. Thank you.

[@anitachavero8520]

I have really been struggling with this lately. Just hearing your suggestions gave me relief. Thank you so much.

[@tazaratsarina9445]

Thanks Meredith 🌹

[@disappearingremedy7400]

Important information💙 Very timely. Thank you!

[@brusselsprout5851]

A timely video, thank you Meredith.

[@ShanelleDD]

I am so glad I came across your channel. You are helping climb out of a hole a narc left me in. Thank you ♥️

[@RedPillTruth2023]

Thank you Meredith. You are literally saving my life daily.

[@gordanagorscak3334]

Thank you Meredith... Very insightful and helpful every time. I have to say, just even the sound of your voice is very soothing. God bless 🙏😊

[@louiseforde5502]

Thank you so much. I am very grateful to hear this today.

[@TheRobynbrown]

This video was easy to understand and the coping tips are easy to understand and use - just what I needed. thank you.

[@jeanetteeast7343]

I’m trembling just listening to this. I get embarrassed at how I visibly shake.

[@nancybelli]

This is heavenmy, thank you spirit warrior!

[@judithwallace2091]

Another gem Meredith! What a clear explanation. Thank you. May 2020 bring peace and healing.

[@johnsontian2733]

Thank you so much! I find your videos so relevant and helpful in my own self-healing journey ❤️

[@cindyarnold7322]

Thanks Meredith!!!

[@m.martin6835]

Thank you for the education, information, and supportive advice. Just so grateful to break chains of mental, spiritual and heart bondage. Reclaiming my life sounds so healthy. 🖤🌟🖤

[@mevebelanger]

I had to move out of my hometown city (Montreal) because of the stressful environment, but also everything became a trigger : smells, oh my god, so much people with their perfume, so much places with types of restaurants or neigborhoods with their own typical smells you know..? Also, sounds: the metro coming, the traffic, some people arguing that doesn't even concern me, a voice tone, a laugh....And also places : simply lookalike buildings could trigger me and throw me back in a trauma memory and in a fight against panic attacks, which i could Do (thank God). But at the end of the Day...I was EXHAUSTED.

[@user-us7vw3yq8p]

I sometimes get what feels like a focal seizure when I am retraumatised. Like a silent brain pop and mirage feeling in my eyelids then calm, and then sometimes a headache

[@sandralyles202]

m I get the creepy crawlers up my head

[@user-us7vw3yq8p]

@@sandralyles202 that's awful I've not had that, but when I was first ill really bad, I would even get an electric shock into my big toe if I got alarmed by things xx

[@Tryingtohelpnow]

My ex cheated, lied and manipulated me to extreme levels. I hear her ex’s name I have trouble breathing, that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and shallow breathing. It’s horrible. And there are more associated with this girl. I need to really self heal, because it is crippling me. First step is quit coping with binge drinking and accept the feelings.

[@Mrknapper1982]

I am extremely grateful for the work and wisdom you are sharing! God bless you

[@LaniAnne402]

With me, it’s the smell of sawdust. One of my abusers was a carpenter. 😳 Thank you for this video. It is very helpful.

[@rubyfede2600]

Thanks for tips Meredith, I am at the point in my healing we’re I can realize o am being triggered now but I’m still having trouble articulating it all. I’m sure these tips will come in handy when I re-read your words I journaled next time I’m triggered.

[@wentingzhao9389]

So caring, thank you.

[@BobBob-ye9sc]

Definitely would love to see more videos on this subject

[@naomilevi771]

Thank you so much! You are amazing! This is so helpful for me🙏❤️ Some other helpful ways that helps me to deal with those situations are EFT and some somatic experience self soothing exercises( for steps 6 and 7).✨❤️✨

[@jonmason4791]

One of your best and useful videos. Super helpful. Pushing weights and singing metal get out the ick in me when I'm triggered. Good to see you're with Betterhelp. You will help alot of folks as you do here. Thanks for your work, efforts. Your stuff (and a good therapist via BH) has really helped with my recovery

[@InnerIntegration]

I’m glad BetterHelp helped you!

[@nancybelli]

Beautiful video thank you!!!

[@saraqproductions2792]

Thank you so Much for this video!!! It is really helpfull!!❤❤✨✨💞💞

[@Tryingtohelpnow]

Have you ever heard being triggered by everything a ex liked? She really brought out every insecurity in me. From cowboy boots that she got when’s she disappeared on me and went on a trip with her ex to a local market here in Cincinnati.

[@tihanaharrison6728]

What perfect timing for this video, many thanks, Meredith!! Just what I needed at the moment. I'll watch the other videos your recommended, too. Is it a trigger when an in-law family member's behaviour (which is their coping mechanism) angers me as it's the very thing that was done to me in the past and leaves me feeling 3 intense/overwhelming feelings/emotions?

[@littleiodine9480]

Thank you so much!💜