When You Heal These Behaviors Everything Gets Better

[@cuddlemuff6632]

I especially appreciated when you said, "When someone else owes you an apology, but doesn't give it to you - which is most of the time...don't dwell on it."

[@steveb4400]

Agreed. That used to be me playing the victim. I’m much better now at 60 years old but it took so long. We are works in progress. Stay strong.

[@mylittlekittens]

I like that one.

[@cherdangelo2993]

You're so right I did that so many times and and you know what it was a wasted energy because the people that won't apologize or give fake apologies which most NPD people do their fake they don't mean anything so don't worry about it they are so not worth it they have no empathy how can they apologize for real think about it right

[@juliaoconnor5798]

"A true apology is changed behavior" Those with NPD just give lip service on apologies they don't mean them with the exception of they are sorry they got caught not for anything else. We have to make our own closure because a narcisist will not give any closure due to the fact they don't want any closure they want to do their best to keep their foot in the door keeping that door open. An apology that a narcisist makes is as fake as the I love you's they've said.

[@sallyann8686]

It’s all Happening loud and clear now 🎉

[@n.t.495]

Healing behaviour summary 1. No longer see things in black and white terms. 2. Natural desire to care for your body. 3. Naturally crave healthier food. 4. Lose desire to binge in screens. 5. Not tempted to fake the truth. 6. Work life starts to feel better 7. Lose interest in assigning blame 8. Release of attraction to unavailable partners 9. Prefer reality to fantasy. 10. Material well-being will improve.

[@tboyz1]

Thanks for listing these 10 points 👍

[@CristinaEvans-w2m]

Thank you

[@LisaSimplified]

Thank you!

[@cynthiaj.wagner1807]

Thanks my ADD needed the list lol

[@anio1349]

I can't even IMAGINE #9 !

[@jester7038]

Gosh, I've descended into nearly all of these self defeating behaviours 😢 it's taken a few years to slide here. I miss my old, jovial self. Gone no contact with the difficult people in my life and starting therapy next week. Managed to go for a short walk tonight and noticed a rainbow 😍

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's a wonderful moment. What a great reward for getting outside and going for a walk. Thank you for sharing. Julie@TeamFairy

[@mattlehnardt783]

I so relate to that feeling and i am sorry you go through that. I think the reason we 'beat ourselves up' is to keep others from doing it first, so they don't have to. What i've learned from the Crappy Childhood Fairy is our brains want the predictable. and that our brains are hardwired to keep us from pain. It hurts less being beat up by our 'self' than by someone close to us. If that person is 'prickly' to be with and has hurtful messages about you, we take on that message to still be under their wing. to reject what they say about us means we'll be left alone. As kids we can't take that so we agree with their negative labels to keep connected with them. Kids blame themselves for what goes wrong, our brain has to make sense of the illogical, and its illogical when parents emotionally ditch their kids. Maybe if we agree with them they'll calm down, and see we're not so bad, and we can get back together and go on with life. We can help 'fix' this disconnection if we beat ourselves up. and show loyalty to them who beat us up. We're trying to stay 'limbically attuned" to our connective main person, by sharing what they feel; rage, at us. Crappy Childhood Fairy talks about limbic attunement, which has meant so much to me. A great example of how this works is the Still Face Experiment on KZbin. To take it one step further in a way that maybe applies to you, what if mom actually got MAD at baby and then "Still - Faced" baby? and never returned? Crappy Childhood Fairy said something else that helped me a ton, that our brains are wired to protect us from hurt. Like we don't want to get a sliver in our finger or cut off our leg, our brains tell us when something isn't good for us to keep us from hurt. What if you're a little kid and your parent whom you need does this? rages at you? goes overboard in 'disciplining' you? freaks out and inordinately dumps rage on you? beats you up either emotionally or physically? they're not owning their own stuff, and they slosh over onto you, as a kid, whose job it is NOT to deal with adult issues for someone else? That's a parent's job to captain the ship. I would ask, is there alcoholism in your family tree? i think this tendency to feel like crap/feel good enough to show up for life is an alcoholic tendency which can pass down through generations even when later generations don't drink. People learn to slosh their bad water all over someone else to carry, thinking this is loyalty if they carry it for them, which is a weird alternative to healthy empathy which is necessary for people to get through hard times by sharing hard times with people close to you, which is what healthy families do, workplaces do and social organizations do. talking things out, feeling empathy. A Christian example is the angel who stayed with Christ during his atonement in Gethsemane. The worst thing is being alone, thats why solitary confinement is the worst punishment. As almost as a badge of loyalty we carry our connected person's bad water, thinking, "if they see im hurting too, if they see i'll take their abuse, and stay with them, they'll wake up and see me. if i show them i understand them, maybe they'll understand me, and we'll get back together and have life like normal", so we carry on, because we don't know what else to do but hope. If they have hurtful messages about us, we can either agree or disagree, but to disagree means to disconnect, and if we do that we'll be alone, and we need them but even deeper we need to feel a sense of place within a family, because that belonging gives us a sense of place, and of self. a sense of who we are. nd our place in it; a very strong drive thats hardwired into us to develop, again, why gangs fill the void where broken families leave off. an evil alternative to what is right. one that ruins souls instead of builds them. if you're feeling ruined, instead of built, theres probably similar bonds of belonging working in your life you're trying to hang onto, out of need for connection and a sense of loyalty someone insisted you carry so they didn't have to face. You can let it go, the best thing you can do to help your connected people is step away from their nightmare they want to make you a part of, which just fuels it, and heal and be a complete person who owns their own stuff and lets others do the same. I think this is what AA is all about.

[@charlottecoolik9872]

🎉 I hope you go on many more walks and see many more rainbows❤❤❤❤❤

[@7jtda]

Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I think you are doing great. I'm hoping to get as far as you have in a little while.❤

[@barbhugheschapman268]

When you said you noticed a rainbow--that made me tear up. It truly is the small beautiful things that bring us happiness. All my love to you.

[@anotherhealingjourneybegins]

8 mins in, and the tears have been flowing. Thank you for giving me the emotional hug that I needed today. I've been feeling like a piece of shit and I haven't been showing up as my best self for awhile. This gives me hope that one day, I will be a better person✨️

[@marshak6459]

you dont need to be a better person to be loved. horrible people find happiness and love.

[@demian8439]

Keep moving forward. Keep improving. You are enough exactly as you are right now, but we can always do better. Baby steps become quarter steps become half steps... eventually you will find yourself at full stride. Just. Keep. Swimming.

[@anotherhealingjourneybegins]

@demian8439 thank you🫂✨️

[@WhatsMarlyUpTo]

You're not alone, been feeling same way. What would we do without KZbinrs like CCF?

[@XOXOX4242]

I can relate! Hang in there, I believe in you!

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this review and expansion. I've been tuning into your videos for ... maybe four years now? and have taken your dating course, which was very helpful. I decided to assess my progress from the references here. I'm currently doing much better in 8 out of 10 categories. What needs more effort is addiction to screens and still preferring fantasy to reality too much of the time. But seeing how far I've come in the 20+ years since I quit alcohol, is very encouraging. My 70th birthday's coming up this fall, and I'll have more than ever to celebrate, even with the loss of my late mate. Thank you again.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm sorry for the loss of your partner, and celebrating with you that your healing is so strong!

[@auntdebbie224]

I just found @crappychildhoodfairy a couple hours ago. I decided to read some of the comments. I always assume that those doing the work are much younger then me so imagine my excitement at seeing your age. Thank you for sharing it. #67yearoldchild.

[@a.s.jackson8203]

@@auntdebbie224 I'm 63 and have been working on myself for the last 20 years but never made the connection between my adverse childhood experiences and my being stuck in life until I began to watch Anna's video's in the past year or so. I've learned a lot from her and others here on KZbin. Thank goodness we have people like Anna on KZbin helping us to heal the wounds of our childhood trauma.

[@motivatingmom2343]

I grew up with a mother that suffered with mental illness. Thank you for the clarity of your vision to receive healing from this lifelong trial. I find hope in your guidance.

[@patm.-xq5tr]

Wow! Black & white thinking "costs us freedom"- well said! Love this new perspective ❣️

[@kimmymichele12]

Me too

[@pennyrobertson6118]

Thank you for your service to help others who struggle & suffer with the deluge of childhood abuse 😊💜🙏

[@LyndaElliott]

I’m healing, but I have no desire to be sociable. My connections are limited to a small group of people that I see infrequently. I developed an aversion to be around people when my symptoms were overwhelming. People didn’t understand and judged me, which made me feel very alienated. Self isolation, even now, feels right for me. It’s peaceful. I don’t get lonely and I treasure the freedom to heal alone.

[@tammymansfield2049]

@lyndaElliot I can resonate with every word here. It's so peaceful to be able to just feel what you feel without anyone's input, advice or judgement. I'd like to have some more connection though, I'm in the process of how this looks as my relationships have changed and what I truly want has changed. All the best on your healing journey😊

[@pord1234]

I understand and recognize those perceptions of people interaction in myself. However, this is a process - we were nibbled away at by neglectful parenting for years, so isn't it reasonable to think this will take time to feel at ease with more and more people. Besides not everyone has/needs the same amount of social contact.

[@peachyreen4550]

Yikes. I need to make a list because the majority of these apply. I didn’t realize I had black & white thinking, but I isolate myself because I’ve been through 2 long term abusive co-dependent relationships, seriously detrimental. I decided that it’s better to just avoid men because I don’t trust myself to find a healthy relationship. I don’t trust men in general. I love the wrong people. Healing could change this? 🤔

[@Heyu7her3]

Interesting, whereas I avoid men because I don't trust them to be healthy 😂😢

[@dionisis4911]

Life is funny. I’m trying to heal my female driven wounds. Im coming to the conclusion that maybe we should appreciate it’s not any one gender that’s ‘bad’ but certain types of people. Human beings have the potential to be awful but that doesn’t mean every human being is awful

[@juliagriego7693]

I spent much of my life Not trusting myself or men.

[@Lyrielonwind]

​@@dionisis4911 I agree. I don't trust men but don't trust women either (malignant narcissist mother and enabling absent father).

[@poetmaggie1]

There is a need for spiritual as well as mental healing, this sounds like a good place to start. There are a lot of us out here.

[@yvonnes7412]

I haven’t had a lot of problems at work, but I found sometimes they were related to me being on “high alert,” possibly seeing danger where there wasn’t, taking something personally, or overthinking. It has helped a lot to work on these thought distortions and continuously try to have more compassion for myself and others, while recognizing that how people act may say more about themselves than me. For example, someone may scream at me because they are experiencing high anxiety and struggle with regulating their emotions. When I learned to step back, I could handle these difficult situations much better and also not dwell on them/ recover faster. (Note- it’s never okay for a boss or coworker to scream at you, but how you handle it makes a difference for your personal wellbeing)

[@anmusters9120]

Self defeating behaviours: 1. Neglect of body: dental hygiene, food, exercise 2. Blame 3. Black and White thinking 4. Numbing with substances 5. Binge eating or starving yourself, orthorexia 6. Addiction to tv, social media, phone 7. Dishonesty 8. Work problems 9. Irritability 10. Attraction to troubled partners or friends 11. Being in an unfulfilling romantic life / abusive sexuality 12. Addictive use of fantas 13. ? 14. Avoidance of people/ responsibilities 15. Debting 16. Re-enacting trauma

[@thekinginthenorth3222]

I have 6, 12 & 14

[@sonja_rademacher]

❤ Thank you!

[@sonja_rademacher]

​@@thekinginthenorth3222Think of doing an autism and adhd testing. Often comorbidity...

[@SurvivorRevive]

@@sonja_rademacher There is a lot of overlap in symptoms with autism, adhd and cptsd as well as other disorders. If you look it up, I'm sure there is a ven diagram out there that breaks it down.

[@amykyns15]

She didn’t mention a #13.

[@eleanor4759]

I had chronic anxiety for 9 years (chaotic childhood) and stumbled across the concept of NERVOUS SYSTEM DYSREGULATION around 19 months ago. I've been obsessively watching content on the subject, including CCF, and on June 26th I woke up and it all just clicked. I'm not particularly spiritual, but it was as though I had an epiphany (I know in reality it was just neuroplastic healing). For the first time in years I felt a deep sense of peace that, despite unpleasant sensations arising, I could always return to within a few minutes. The only time I'm not able to regain peace is when I'm exhausted and need to sleep. I've had many, many health problems in my life and looking at them through the lens of trauma changes everything. So, sooo grateful to you Anna! ❤ Two other creators on KZbin that were instrumental in my reaching this point were Irene Lyon and Natalia Rachel Change. Ily all so much! 💚😭 side note: Elaine Aron's work on the personality trait of high sensitivity was also pivotal for me. I was suuuper skeptical of whether it was a legitimate trait, although after diving into tons of her research I am convinced. Very cool trait if you know how to wield it properly 😌😉

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing & watching! It is wonderful to read about your breakthroughs. Julie@TeamFairy

[@eleanor4759]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you for all that you do!!!

[@L6FT]

Excessive humility, overly helpful, walking on egg shells, putting oneself down, feelings of unworthiness or excessive pride, arrogance overcomparing also belong on the list. I love this video, and all that you do. It's giving me humbling and empowering perspectives on my own life and behaviors. How genuine down to earth love feels like and behaves. Thanks.

[@JmboSKRIMP]

My concern is I don’t know what I’d replace these habits with. As terrible as that might sound, the known is a slow burn, but tearing away the distractions, makes me anxious,

[@angry-lucky-catty]

I saw a tweet once that said “but that’s a load-bearing coping mechanism!” and I felt that.

[@halcyondays8945]

Have you learned her daily practice yet? It’s really good. I had this convo with my therapist. She said it’s tempting to want to take away these less-healthy mechanisms as a form of self improvement but sometimes that leaves us more vulnerable. She told me to work on building my “healthy tool box” before dismantling my less-healthy mechanisms. In fact the more I build up my healthy tools the less attracted I am to my old behaviours.

[@ejw72]

Thank you Anna! Your videos have been invaluable to me. This video actually made me feel hope that, despite the bumps in the road, I actually am on the path to healing.

[@GreenWitch420]

This is what i talked to my therapist about this morning. I skate your videos with her. ❤❤❤ Thank you for being you - you really genuinely help lives!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing the videos with your therapist! Sounds like you are making progress. :) Julie@TeamFairy

[@TeaandLaceJournals]

I find that I’ve never been able to move the needle forward on healing through behavior change. When you have CPTSD or ptsd it’s moved into your physiology. Healing your nervous system and getting to a place where you feel safe will naturally result in behavior change.

[@ZeeStoryteller]

I have been praying for a real answer. I feared that I was so messed up by trauma that I could never heal and truly live. It made me feel so hopeless and depressed. This speaks directly to my spirit and I am so grateful. God bless you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm glad you're here!

[@poetryjones7946]

❤This is excellent, absolutely excellent. Love your presentation this time; concise & directly to the point. May all the angels bless you forever for what you are making available to people that don’t have the $ for shrinks. ❤🙏🏼🌹

[@stevec404]

I knew deep down that I was full of self defeating behaviors, but had no idea why...no basis for beginning to understand myself. My childhood cPTSD (staying back a grade at the age of seven) was so traumatic and disruptive that I could not handle it on a conscious level. It went deep into my subconscious mind where self defeating thoughts became imprinted and ruled me. Only when I connected with the source of my trauma did my healing journey begin. I have written about this before; and do so now to help others understand that sometimes, yes, we do need to know the root cause of our trauma before healing can begin.

[@domif.b.7657]

I needed to hear this today. Regarding point 2 though, I'd add self-blame, cos that's what I did to myself for so long: why didn't I see/get/understand/avoid this 'situation' before it happened, why didn't I handle it that or this other way....horrible

[@DouglasMosley759]

13:35 “Take a walk, floss your teeth, shop for clothes that look good on you.” I bet combining all thee activities would speed up the healing process significantly, am I right?

[@CraigT104]

So much insight in one video. I’m learning so much about myself and why I’ve been having so much trouble and pain in life. Now that I’m understanding the whys I feel more empowered to change and grow. Thank you! 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@moniquew8658]

Wow! In the past hour, I've watched two of your videos and have learned so much about myself, than I have with 7 years of Therapy @ Barbra Siatra's Children's Center. This place was an amazing place that started my journey to healing, so please take this statement as a compliment. ❤ Thank You for helping those of us that can not afford to get any help as far as Therapy goes. I'm so grateful I found you.😢❤

[@misha_ry8476]

Thank you so much Anna, I am crying while watching this video. I've been on my healing journey for three years now. Before that, I was totally devastated because I liked someone who never like me for years (now I understand that is limerence). I stayed in a city that I hate, had job that undervalued my skill and qualifications, and my boss was terrible. The very first thing that I do to heal was quitting my job, moving to different city, stop contacting the person that cause my limerence. That was brave and I lost all of my savings, but now I've found a better job that I love and suit my skill and qualifications. I started to take care of my body by doing yoga, pilates, cycling and naturally I only want to eat healthy foods. All of this time, I wonder why I haven't found your video, but now I'm glad that I did. All of your videos are amazing and really helpful, thank you so much 💕💕💕💕

[@ebd123]

I literally keep asking my doctor and therapist why I don't crave healthy foods and movement. Now I get it. I'm going to share this with them.

[@mollyo3558]

Progress, not perfection.

[@ahhrealmonsters8834]

You are a real life angel. The most healing part of my day ♥️

[@shirleytimms8561]

I currently do or have done all the symptoms you have listed. My life is in a frozen state and I don’t know how to get through it. I don’t participate in life and I never leave the house except to go to the doctor. I wish I could talk to you on the phone bc I’m going to be 67 this year and I feel like I’m running out of time to, as they say, get my sh.t together. Is speaking with you via phone something that would be possible? I love your channel you hit home so often it’s obvious you have gone through some of the same experience all of us are trying to escape. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[@sonja_rademacher]

Maybe you'd like a kind of penpal? To exchange thoughts, ideas and sorrows? If you want to, just answer to my comment.😊

[@shirleytimms8561]

@@sonja_rademacher Oh my goodness that is so sweet and kind. I would love that. 🥰

[@arianamoxieloving919]

@shirleytimms8561 Another commentor @nmn5550 mentioned a zoom call with Anna that had over 300 people watching earlier today, so there is a way to be part of that group, likely described in Anna's notes on this video and her other videos. Awareness is the first step to making change so congratulations for taking that first step!

[@shirleytimms8561]

@@arianamoxieloving919 Thanks I’m terrified I’m so mentally conditioned to think and act a certain way that it’s so ingrained in me I’m not strong enough to overcome it. If I get out there in the world I will be lost and alone. I used to have so much confidence when I worked but after I got hurt at work in 2000 and couldn’t work anymore I just gradually lost everything that was me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Try the Daily Practice. Once you take the free course, you can join us to do DP on free Zoom calls and there is a Q&A period. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

[@magnessko]

Hi Anna thank you for your life changing work that you are doing here. I want to ask you about the moments we regress I mean we are "suddenly" back to self-defeating behaviors, after of period of healthier life with new good habits that just started to take roots, like waking up at 5 am, journaling, finally writing that book and so on, and then boom we need to start from beginning because we are back into limerence, unhealthy food, wasting time, procrastination etc., but we don't feel like it, the enthusiasm and faith is gone. I guess in my case it's because of fear of success /failure that I need to heal but I'm curious about your wise input, and how to prevent it? Greetings from Poland.

[@halcyondays8945]

Yes! It’s such a tough cycle to step out of

[@moirabij734]

I relate to this. I can't get out of my self defeating trauma responses. It's deeply upsetting and disappointing causing constant depression.

[@Fandoms4Life]

Would love to see the reply to this!

[@Wildmuseportal]

Could be that your nervous system has gone into a freeze because the new behaviours trigger fear as they are new and unfamiliar. Our system tries to protect us, even keeping us in unhealthy situations because they are registered as safe and familiar. Irene Lyon has some good resources on getting out of freeze.

[@swampfaerie]

This was very encouraging bc I was really feeling down but this reminded me of just how far I have come and to keep going ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jenniferkohlscheen5814]

I have a mountain of childhood trauma, but found a great therapist who’s worked with me to help me with so much. Sadly, I did a lot of damage to my two adult children that I own, but still have a lot of shame about. Seeing their trauma is sometimes unbearable. I’m two years away from getting my MSW and have worked in social services for 25 years which has been a blessing and a curse. But, healing myself has helped me be a better advocate and helper of people. It’s also allowed me to set boundaries, too. Thank you for your wonderful videos and honesty!!

[@charlottecoolik9872]

Wow I'm halfway into this and I'm so glad to hear that I'm normal because I'm feeling like there's so much more work that list resonates😮

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! -The Fairy Team

[@pickyour]

Wow. This is super informative and so hard to watch. I had to stop halfway and binge watch something funny because it was triggering me so much. Most of these apply except for numbing with substances. I was able to quit alcohol and cigarettes recently. One healing behaviour I see in myself is that I don’t feel tempted to fake the truth. I would really like to work on everything else thats on the list. Thank you Anna!

[@lxraycatmaui2884]

I hate food. I watch people enjoy it and it just makes me sad. I can pass up a buffet table, allowing myself nothing. My mom was an addict and was unavailable alot. I guess im still thinking like an abandoned child, having to eat whatever i found in the kitchen. Thanks Anna, you and Tim Fletcher are really helping alot of people. ✌️

[@rebeccamay6420]

This video came up in the KZbin suggestions at a good moment in my life. It has been only a few months since discovering that C-PTSD was at the root of many of the problems I had been facing during the past few decades. Because of my voracious appetite for knowledge of whatsoever may be beneficial, plus a side of addiction to social media (OK, I'll admit that), along with ADHD hyperfocus (I've known this about myself for decades), and Autistic Focus on Special Interest (yeah, KZbin helped me figure that one out too, over a year ago), I allowed myself to binge-watch a plethora of videos by Crappy Childhood Fairy and Therapy in a Nutshell, among others, and to Learn and Apply What I'm Learning and Make Improvements in My "Mentals." 😊 One-to-One therapy sessions and meds have helped a lot too. Because "I fear that" my husband also suffers C-PTSD, I am allowing myself to feel less resentment about his behaviors, although I still get irritated. But now that I'm aware of the feeling when dysregulation begins, I can take hold of my own reins a lot sooner and steer myself away, take a moment to cool down, to breathe, to restore the logic-brain, to assemble some less-accusatory thoughts, and come back with a non-explosion. As little as five minutes will help me defuse the emotional bomb. Next: to give him enough support, let him see the improvements I've worked on, provide enough information to awaken his curiosity (yes, I've advised him to get curious instead of scared about learning a thing), and let him recognize the need for help and healing, and to seek and accept the help. I just downloaded the PDF that goes with this video, and I am gearing up to read it! I had already figured I would write about my own experiences with all the applicable signs of C-PTSD and of Healing so I could share them with Hunny -- "This is what life used to be like for me; This is how my life has changed for the better." You see, starting with, "This is where I've had difficulty," may be a non-threatening way to discuss the "please recognize that this is also you." 💌

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you found the channel! Thank you for sharing, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jchittoor]

Anna I can't thank you enough for such a meticulously analysed video about the self defeating behaviours that we may have due to CPTSD and what baby steps to take, consciously to regain our happy normal current behaviour, as a loving, social being. I am going to use the notes from this video, and translating yoir entire lecture/lesson/guidance to my Hindi speaking community, with your kind permission. You are truly a fairy...not in fantasy, but in reality! my blessings to you and your team!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for this kind note. If you do create a Hindi translation, I welcome you to upload a caption file to the video itself, so other Hindi speakers can enjoy it too!

[@lustertone8587]

1 - Yes 2 - No 3 - No 4 - No 5 - Yes 6 - Yes some 7 - Yes 8 - Yes 9 - Yes a little 10 - Yes 11 - Yes 12 - Possibly 13 - Yes 14 - Number was skipped :) 15 - Yes in the past and on and off currently 16 - Yes 73.33% - The numbers speak for themselves. Time to work on the steps that you and others have and continue to cover for us to help us on our roads to healing and thriving in life. As always, thank you so much!

[@bridgettetraveler658]

I believe I ran someone away. I don't miss them because just about everytime they called me it was about giving to some cause. This person made me not want to answer my phone when I see their name. I don't believe I'm wrong. It's strange to me that some ppl who treated me horribly now text & call me saying how much they love me. We share DNA, but I don't consider them fam. I'm too old to play their evil games anymore!!!

[@PurplePinkRed]

Been binge watching your content most of the day. You get it completely! I'm definitely guilty of being stuck in the: "What could I have been in life if I had a healthy relationship with my mother? What if she had adequate funds to help me fulfill my dreams?" It is extremely difficult when so many get dealt very good cards in life - Enjoying exotic family holidays yearly, money provided for study and leisure activities, full support of business and professional endeavours, access to connections and jobs to help them move up in the world. I'm only 29 and things have been very difficult. Still on minimum wage watching my golden child brother earn three times what I earn in a year because of the opportunities and support he was given. It's very hard to not be bitter when others have things easier. Trying to be grateful for what I have and knowing I built it myself with no help. This video was incredibly helpful to me and insightful to where I am on my journey. Thank you so much ❤

[@ebbyc1817]

1 of the great things about getting older and not being like, 25, and dealing with this anymore (hugs to all the 25 year olds) is that you start to see that you are the common denominator in all situations, so you can't blame other people. When the same thing happens 1, 2, 3, 4,....X times, in different places, at different times, with different people, you start to realise it's not just them, it's you. What is quite stunning is how , even when you know your patterns, you can still repeat them, over and over and over again. It shows that it isn't just knowledge that changes things. You can be fully self-aware and still create these situations, consciously or unconsciously.

[@Eeveedelasirena]

Thank you thank you thank you💔💔💔 i feel like the world's most ridiculously crazy person in the world. I feel like the entire world Tunis I'm a piece of sh!t now... I'm terrified to go in public... I also feel so disgusted around my father, he's a whole trigger for me. Is it wrong to never feel like being around my father anymore. He was the main abuser my entire childhood....

[@Ominous89]

This is spot on. From the signs that you're still in it, to the signs that you're healing. Great video! Good to see that I'm making great progress. I really hope to others to gain full control over their lives again, without being held back by what hurt and damaged you.

[@guzelyaganer5296]

This is the best ever information I have ever watched, life changing! Thank you fairy 🧚‍♀️🙏🏻💕✨

[@Eeveedelasirena]

Thank you Crappy Childhood fairy... I feel like such a delusional delirious asshole now... I swear to God i thought I was truly fight or flight mode looking over my shoulder for 5 years like a frigging mental case...😢 I'm such a fuckin mess.... I feel like I need help just cleaning my bedroom and it's so simple, but I can't even start for some odd reason.... im just lost now... i was so sure I was in danger... *Update* I actually was in danger and NOT delusional! However, I now think it wasn’t from the person who I thought was trying to hurt me!!

[@ElizofAmerica]

I have learned and healed so much because of you, I can’t thank you enough and I’m trying to pay it forward!😊also I reduce alcohol.

[@giapponerosso]

Generally I feel like I ve been slowly shedding unhealthy bits in the last years. However, after watching this vid I can see there s still some work to be done. Good. It d be boring otherwise.

[@patm.-xq5tr]

❤ your attitude! Why be bored, right?

[@americasariesson1862]

Excellent information! Point by point highlights exactly what the enemy of peace and stability looks like so I can be aware and not being controlled and unaware of my own behaviors left wondering why I’m still struggling in certain areas. Thanks Anna !

[@StacysRevivalCreations]

Wow!! You've helped me to realize and see that I'm healing nicely!! 😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's amazing! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@katherinewilson1853]

Same 🥰 yay!!

[@anastasiyamemetova3849]

I really love and appreciate Creppy Childhood Fairy videos, they're so calm and soothing, feels like home

[@Angie247Beers]

Wow! I see sooo many of these behaviors in BOTH me and my husband, but he HATES it when I ask him to watch a video that I believe would be helpful for my or our mentality. It's super infuriating!

[@DosBear]

Yes, I'm normally abnormal and can relate to many of these. Most of us are a paycheque or 2 away from homelessness in this unside down world we are presently living in. The funny thing is, normally I wouldn't even be paying attention or caring one way or the other, simply because there's very little I can do to change any of it anyway. I'm well on my way to dealing with much of this and your advice has helped. I appreciate it.

[@HeartsandLove444]

Thank you and Happy 2024. I love how you say you may have one or two but I have had almost here. Don’t fret everyone. It gets better. Promise 🎉

[@lpine4211]

Everyone has probs with these behaviours... It's a life long journey to be a good human being... Sounds like you want us to be perfect. Very unrealistic... I suggest we be more gentler on ourselves in general... Don't freak out if you have all or half of this going on, Many do, one day at a time... easy does it 🙏😊 still love yourself as much as you can. It will get better and you'll do better as you go. ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We definitely don't want you or anyone to be perfect. You said it right: One day at a time. We can work on things, day by day. Daily Practice can help. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

[@patm.-xq5tr]

Take one small step at a time. It's difficult to realize this when you first realize you have cPTSD...

[@AF-ke9by]

Listening to this list was a sobering reality check. I knew I was relapsed in my eating disorder recovery, but this feels like I am in trauma healing relapse too. I have been deeper into my healing journey, previously. I realize, now, I did more than letting go of self-care while caregiving for a family member. ☹️

[@lismi9178]

Maybe you did the care taking, because you were denied the care as a child and now you over compensate by giving it to others? That would be the reason of your temporary relapse: taking care of others instead of yourself? I apologize if I am in the wrong! I just seem to recognize my former neglected self here, the person who took care of everyone else's ailments and worries but never her own 🙄

[@hippiechick2112]

I have identified with some of the behaviors. Others, I used to have and have outgrown (my word). But I have also learned that you can be a good person and work hard and still have bad things happen to you (I am an author with no income, case in point). And it is like what you said. It is how you handle it! It also reminds me of a RHCP song, "Wet Sand". The line "You don't form in the wet sand" gets to me every time and goes back to that point. Thank you so much for these kind reminders!

[@jonasktew6857]

ok, I still have a few things to address but apparently I'm doing really well... at some point in time I struggled with everything you listed and now it's just a few left to look into deeper! Yay! thank you for everything you do!

[@lselley1980]

The constant outrage now seems to dominate popular culture, and it’s become so bad that we can’t have sensible conversations anymore. It’s perhaps a reflection of how our personal trauma shapes our society over time.

[@surdogal]

Another fantastic and incredibly helpful video - thank you Anna for all you do 💜👍🏾

[@jocelynstewart1186]

Thank you. Your research and experience mean so much to me, I learn a lot from you.

[@TheMary0831]

This is the most helpful to me so far. I have already done a lot of work, but your videos will put my recovery in hyper-drive. I can also attest to what you say that when even one behavior is changed, it starts steamrolling into other good behavior. I can't believe how far I've come, but then again, I'm 60 and have worked on it most of my adult life.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad you are here! Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

[@Lp-vw1lf]

Thank you so much… I appreciate everything you said because it resonated so deeply within me! It was just what I needed to hear this morning. My journey has been long, complicated, and complex. It is a wonderful feeling to teach myself to appreciate it, and slowly watch my esteem and confidence build! I am grateful for your sharing, thank you again!😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for your comment & thanks for watching! Nika@TeamFairy

[@artemisnite]

98% of human relationships are annoying at best and most often pretty damaging. I see no point. Some of us are just fine with being alone. I want to heal my trauma, but avoiding people is a matter of choice, self-preservation, and aviodance of pointless attempts to connect to people I have zero interest in. 🤷 I have my partner. She's all I need. Most people are just wanting to manipulate or exploit you for their own selfish purposes. Even those "helpers" have their ulterior motives. Pointless.

[@sonja_rademacher]

But the other 2 percent are really worth it. Sending some love to you. ❤

[@vorapercussion]

you save my life and happiness, from the day one since i learn ur video's, my healing process has good progress, stil a lot to do, but i'm really happy with who i am now. thank you so much

[@suzymotherofcatz1850]

Thank you so much for the work you do and for your videos!! I feel so validated and “seen” - especially after watching this particular one. At this point in my healing, I feel as though I am learning how to be human again without the programming of my childhood. It is as though my brain is being asked to work differently after operating the same way for over 40 years.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

You're a blessing to the Internet. Thank you CCF!

[@nmn5550]

I've been to the zoom call today. So happy! :) Over 300 ppl woah.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for tuning in and doing Daily Practice! Julie@TeamFairy

[@mariannethames962]

What a wonderful exciting video. Makes you feel so good to move on. Thank you

[@GodiscomingBhappy]

self defeating behaviours - neglect of body (shabby clothes, bad food...) - blame (not seeing your role in problems) - black and white thinking (always outraged) - numbing with substances - numbing with food -

[@GodiscomingBhappy]

- addictive use of media - dishonesty (exagerating, lying,....) - work problems - irritability (arguments, ranting, rage....) - attraction to conflict partners/friends - being in an unfulfilling romantic life (abussive sexuality.....) - addictive use of fantasy (fleeing reality) - avoidance of ppl and responsibility (covert avoidance) - deadding (living below your means, debt) - repeating traumatic patterns Dont panick.... you can get out of this. You matter, i dont know you but i know God Loves you and i love you too because i know how much it hurts. You can do it, one step at the time.

[@andrewparry7528]

Thanks, Anna. I do most of these, and they wax and wane. I can't seem to stop the roller coaster. Luckily, I have always been able to work and have strictly kept the money under control, so I figure I still have a chance. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum and also dyslexic and many head injuries that include a coma. I think I'm getting better, but as I don't see people, I don't know. I've listened to lots of your help for the last 6 weeks or so, and I can just feel it changing me. The coaster feels less bumpy! X

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad the channel has been helpful! We're sending you lots of encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jenniferwhisks9248]

Found your Frank wisdom too late for my partner lost last Christmas 🎄💔

[@survivalsilk2101]

this video was extremely informative, thank you so much!

[@RubanLawrence]

I love how practical and grounded in reality your advice is. What you say has been consistently actionable. Thank you. ❤️

[@gaetanproductions]

You are a true spiritual guide, thank you 🙏

[@christopherscottdempwolf5759]

"Now that we are adults, no one is coming to save us."

[@jasonsands5881]

Damn! It’s like she’s talking straight to me.

[@madonnanix7635]

So true.

[@julieallen3372]

Something to consider. Many people who struggle with Asperger’s have experienced trauma from childhood rejection based on their condition. People on the spectrum struggle with categorising the importance of events, opinions and ideas. Everything is important. For them, developing fixed and black and white values is a survival technique to spare them the anxiety of confusion. This may mean added challenges as they navigate through both the childhood trauma and the ASD limitations in thought

[@ferncurtis2437]

Thank you so much for this video. I can see very clearly where I’ve made progress and the areas that are holding me back. I really do isolate myself and that’s what needs to change the most. The fact that I even want to find a Church where I feel I belong is progress in itself 🥳

[@MichaelBroder]

Very attuned to the sex issues. You mention unwanted pregnancy. I might add frequent STDs and getting HIV especially as it relates to gay men (of which I am one, and I’m HIV positive too). As signs of CPTSD, I mean. Oh, and frequently getting ripped off by sex partners. And of course, physically assaulted-and that of course includes forced sexual penetration, but getting beaten up. Again, I’m thinking of this, particularly as a gay man, and that these kinds of things happen to gay men with CPTSD, and it’s very hard, at least historically it was very hard to address these issues “out loud” in the gay community-and even more so for men who have no access to any gay community to speak of.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes. People don't want to say it out loud, but yes.

[@a.p.6040]

❤

[@Kas33345]

Great Vid, thank you. Could you maybe do one on the Codependancy between family members. I have ppl I know who are so codependent on each other (family) they have no life of their own. It is like their entire identity is wrapped up in the family - plans, how to live life, even what a love relationship should look like - according to them. The individual has no idea who they are without them. We are talking very adult individuals from almost 40 to siblings who are in their 60-70's. They do not see the disfunction - and it extends far beyound to 'blood is thicker than water' mentaliy finding fault with others instead of the family memeber who is the crux of the issue - giving special treatment to them, even if they are the one doing wrong to another. I have had to distance my self from the drama and the dysfunction. I have a couple I care about a great deal and wish they could break free of this. The 'family' core programing has warped them all. Thank you for all your great vids.

[@shirleytimms8561]

I’m saying this while I have a moment of courage. I’m in an extremely toxic marriage and I’m disabled since 2000 so I can’t support myself and I don’t have much extended family to help. None able to help or they are struggling with similar issues. I am to scared and frozen to do anything. For the past 5 years I haven’t even gotten out of bed but to go to the bathroom. And once a month to my chronic pain doctor. When I have to leave the house for something I start getting panic attacks and usually cancel my appointment and reschedule. I can’t imagine how many people ask you for help as I am, I pray I am one you feel you could😢reach out to and help. Respectfully and sincerely thank you for all your time you give making videos and providing support for people who struggle with PTSS.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I am so sorry you are struggling like this. It might sound small, but the foundation of Anna's healing method is the Daily Practice. It's what she herself used and uses. It's a free course, and you can learn and do the technique from bed. You just need the internet to take the free course, then scratch paper and pen/pencil to practice the technique. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

[@jennyferguson5583]

That’s Wonderful! I’m going to do that! The Daily Practice!

[@niebieskimotyl3308]

Psychiatric treatment may be also helpful with dealing with panic attacks. My doctor told me it's my nervous system that needed a lot of help, when I started to have health issues and he was right.

[@Lyrielonwind]

​@@niebieskimotyl3308 Diaphragmatic breathing helps too.

[@a.p.6040]

❤

[@dawncrawford9159]

Amazing Grace my dear ~ I love your content ❤️ Spiritual healing

[@hburke575]

Thank you so much for the straight forward advice and examples 😊

[@boundariesforwomen1310]

This is so good. Thank you.

[@denasharpe2393]

I cannot tell you how much hope you have given me

[@indiacarless]

Your videos are SO helpful. Thank you! ♥

[@anrod185]

This sounds wonderful. I pray all of us get healed.

[@amielawrence2983]

Thank you for explaining to more deeply understand the effects this has in our lives. I wanna add that giving my life over to Jesus has opened my eyes and given me the strength I needed to overcome this. I still stumble but God gives me the clarity to see it and repent and move forward. Sometimes talking about it over and over and identifying as damaged has the opposite effect. We’re all damaged thats why God sent his son to cover our sins and free us. Thank you Jesus!

[@kimberlytrent5245]

I do Every single one of these. So Overwhelmed

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're in the right place, we're all here for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@kimberlytrent5245]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️🌷

[@cherthompson2546]

Thank you so much. This video and the years of experience and thought behind it have made such a difference today. Ive sent this vid to myself to refer back to as a lodestone. Thank you.

[@Ashley_WatchingYoutube]

❤ I want to thank you so much for doing this because where I live it's hard to find therapy. Your videos have helped me so much. I feel like I've just grown as a person and such a small time compared to being in therapy with three different therapist never talked about anything all they did was just listen to me and I never felt like I got anywhere. The last ones been my best one but she still really doesn't teach me anything and I'm the type that needs to know about what is happening to me. I deeply appreciate what you're doing.. the therapist we have here in my town they're just not very good and the ones that are good are overbooked. I could see my therapist once a month I should be by my depression rating seeing them like once a week😅 I just wanted to put some appreciation out here and let you know that you're making a great difference my life and I'm sure so many people's lives

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for sharing. Glad you're here! Julie@TeamFairy

[@Oorjaashree]

Thank you

[@thabomoatshe9700]

Simplified. And the best🔥

[@kimmymichele12]

I'm so thankful I can watch this, very helpful!!!

[@paul-davidalmond716]

My neglect of my own health/ welfare resulted in a heart attack. This went from early drug use, binge eating, and lack of exercise.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow. How is it going now?

[@paul-davidalmond716]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Much better. I'm nearly done with cardiac rehab, emotionally, I'm much better. Learning new habits, and mindsets. I talked to a confessor, who-when I told him of my CSA said, "That can take a lifetime to unravel." He's right, but I just keep going.

[@mridulaism]

Thank you for this❤️

[@kairivint]

Thank you so much!!! This is so helpful🌸

[@cuddlemuff6632]

Also liked that you said that most people live on very little.

[@janeybusiness6601]

Jeez! All this is normal for people like me & I can know I'm such a person if all this is as normal for me as it is for everyone with c-ptsd?! Now that I know how normal all this is, I feel better and know I can better work toward a new & improved normal. Thanks, Anna!