Which TF2 Mercs Are Virgins?

It was time for Thomas to leave. He had seen everything.
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Timestamps:
0:00 - 0:54 Intro
0:55 - 2:34 Spy, Soldier & Scout
2:35 - 3:52 Demo & Medic
3:53 - 5:40 Sniper
5:41 - 6:57 Engineer
6:58 - 7:54 Pyro
7:55 - 9:24 Heavy
9:25 - 11:03 Side Characters
11:04 - 11:22 Wrap Up
11:23 - 11:39 Outro
Playlist of like minded content: • Top Monty
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Natasha image: / natascha
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• Heavy's Sad Childhood ...
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All music used. I OWN NO MUSIC USED:
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[@Sfhjgds]

This is what 7 years without an update does to a mann

[@triple_check]

if i had a dollar for every time I’ve seen this comment id have 87 and counting

[@The-British-Fella]

Mann, what happened to this game.

[@The-British-Fella]

@@triple_check too many times...

[@anaqiss]

7 years in the without an update made you a fucking Which TF2 Mercs Are Virgins

[@jaredtomongha1342]

​@@triple_checkI have 5x than that amount

[@arseinccookies861]

None of them will be virgins when I get there.

[@TheKirBoi]

I could just hear the Prowler theme reading that.

[@theveltoris7161]

Bro's minos prime instinct kicked in

[@quitequeerquesadilla]

God damn it I really don't have a single original thought

[@1dollartaco]

LMFAO

[@lennylink69]

tick tock heavy like a brinks truck

[@Blujay64]

You tellin me that Sniper has never used his Bushwacka?

[@thecarnivalisintown]

Oh dear god, that's even worse than "hitman someone else's heatmaker." I love it.

[@Kerruo]

Bushwacka...goddamn that's clever

[@GummieBear2278]

​@@Kerruohe never got to soak someone with his jarate

[@MooImABunny]

​@@GummieBear2278ooh that is a specific fetish that I truely hope he doesn't have, otherwise normal gameplay is even more disgusting now

[@The.Silicone.Valley]

@@GummieBear2278lol

[@TheEventGuy]

Everyone knows that the only virgin aren't the mercs themselves, but the person controlling them.

[@Atomic_Dusky]

So the Administrator is a virgin then

[@VersantXv_4]

@@Atomic_Dusky Yoooo, that kill me off!, Lmao!!

[@noobfromhell563]

No, the real Virgins are the Friends we made along the Way

[@NieJa_2137]

Of the characters who aren't mentioned, Merasmus is also canonically a virgin, since he himself said in the "Blood Money" comic that his own blood can be treated as "certified pure" blood of a virgin

[@RedshirtAfficionado]

Staying a virgin so you can cast more spells is hardcore

[@AvocaToast]

Fun fact “virgin blood” originally meant “blood which is fresh and has not yet been used.”

[@average-art3222]

​@@AvocaToast so basically he stayed unhorny and kept it that way so he could have more spells

[@januszpolak254]

So that's how he become a wizard.

[@AvocaToast]

@@average-art3222 Correct, if his Willy hasn’t been wonka’d because it hadn’t became a factory, his blood is virgin blood.

[@LucidNightmarez]

Well scout is definitely not a virgin now.

[@Eddoesthings-67]

Was just about to say this lol

[@redrasegarden]

He wasn’t a virgin to begin with

[@maysun3752]

He got kids so yeah not a virgin

[@HeliatroCipher]

He hasn't been for a while, only now he has proof

[@TheBiggestBoss1]

he still is

[@spicymint2.0]

"Here lies Scout, he ran fast and died a VIRGIN! HAHAHA!" - Spy edit: this aged like sour milk

[@adam-Qt2]

its possible that the matches we play happen before the events of expiration date, therefore making this line still maybe accurate

[@timestorm5687]

Yeah, the "i got a bucket of chicken, you wanna do it" line got disproven so often i believe that they just kinda want him more as a virgin.

[@youryoutubeyoda]

Spy did assumed Scout was terrible with girls, which Scout disproved, as it turns out he is just terrible with "ladies". So Scout probably scored.

[@tommarch.4493]

@@timestorm5687 let's be real, that scout saying the story, scout lies, it's not a valuable source

[@yurlocalstupido6762]

Scout did have segs he just didn’t tell the mercs he had sex

[@simonsmiles9186]

Bro forgot the canon event of "GET BEHIND ME DOKTOR"

[@asroczka]

Lol

[@theultimateamazingsleepyko6687]

💀

[@Hyaene_Colonlength]

CHARGE ME

[@XhemaijlAziri]

💀​@Hyaene_Colonlength

[@Mitralaz_45]

YA VOY 🗣🔥🔥

[@june9914]

My headcanon is that medic has lost his virginity, but he regained it through mad scientist experiments

[@thorveim1174]

Most likely by surgically removing it from someone and adding it to himself. Like for souls

[@hectorryan7591]

You know, I wouldn't put it past him to do that. That is a very in character thing he would do.

[@S3cr3t_Qw1rtz]

You know what, canon.

[@TF2-COD_FAN]

I'm convinced this is cannon

[@luisuribe706]

Scout Is cannonically not a Virgin anymore and has four children

[@TheShanicpower]

He has 8 christmas socks by the fireplace, so there’s probably more than 4.

[@luisuribe706]

@TheShanicpower Scout really Is a stallion then

[@Atomic_Dusky]

​​@@luisuribe706Scout truly is God's gift to women as at least four women got to experience the gift of Scout

[@elliotsturtplus3400]

@@luisuribe706well he is Spy’s son so it runs in the family

[@legamerdu31yt83]

​@@TheShanicpower its 1 zock per feetso theres 4 children

[@S0A0M0I0]

"Captured someone else's objective." 🔥✍️

[@TeaDasSweet]

"Marketing someones garden" 🔥✍

[@BreadTeleporter006]

"Erecting a dispenser"

[@jamesThebulbmin]

Filled their mmphh meter

[@qwedeh100]

"hitman someone elses heatmaker" 🔥✍

[@IridescentKySoul]

Gf is pushing my payload

[@v3nomousn3m3sis]

With the seventh comic being out and some mercs having kids canonically this ages interestingly

[@mattf5855]

Sniper is canonically only two years older than scout actually

[@somethingelseonalt5948]

three

[@Bluestlark]

Even The voice actor said that he was told to voice a 40 year old character.... I don't know where people got that, yes I read the comics, 40 years ago new zealand zunk down because baby snipey got into a rocket.

[@YourAverageZombie]

@@somethingelseonalt5948 valve cant count to that number so its still 2

[@mattf5855]

@@Bluestlarkno new zealand sunk 40 years ago, then ten years later sniper’s dad built the rocket and baby sniper escaped.

[@somethingelseonalt5948]

@@YourAverageZombie ahh i see

[@KewlDood-mk4zn]

3:40 My theory is that demoman "exploded stickies" on an anatomy model or plastic skeleton and was so drunk he thought it was medics wife

[@SpringDavid]

I have a better theory: Demoman actually "exploded stickies" on Medic's wife and Medic just fucking killed her

[@kyonghuni]

tf2 lore is so weird this could be an actual thing i'm afraid

[@luwucian4497]

*Extra fact about Demoman not being a virgin:* In the comics you can see how he and Soldier are in a casino and each one is with a girl

[@bobbyferg9173]

Admittedly it is nothing definitive, but that does actually show some proof that Soldier and Demo are into going to Vegas and getting with some ladies. So, it probably has to count for something

[@nethersome826]

also demo just being drunk and when not working prob in bars its a good guess hes ubered a charge before

[@TableGrables]

Which comic?

[@nethersome826]

@@TableGrables soldier demo war comic

[@shishi6201]

7:40 counterpoint: it would be far more in-line with valve's sense of humor for pyro to have an extensive list of past lovers

[@C0wb0y234]

we need a fucking update

[@beeeltee5550]

a FUCKING* update

[@Adamgamer42069]

No shit

[@C0wb0y234]

@ aye daddy haha, lemme get that dick

[@Halberds6]

Not yet we need to wait a year for TF2 to turn 18

[@ChasingMoonMoths]

@@Halberds6 no we need updates 😭

[@nastylittlegremlin]

"between a man and a woman" then what is that thang that heavy and medic do?

[@Frederick_The_Great1]

based comment

[@tescogourmet7293]

“Marketing their garden” ruined my day

[@NoniNoners]

I think "Filling his MMMPH meter" was worse.

[@makeandbreakgames1791]

"Hitman someone else's Heat maker" 🗣️🔥🗣️🔥

[@qwedeh100]

"Sentry wrangling"

[@Wzeyisbacklmao]

Pushing payload to complete the objective

[@Goldenleyend]

I'd like to believe sniper is a virgin, but the line "bludgeoned his wife with a golf trophy" is so oddly specific it makes me suspect he's telling on himself, as sort of what his breaking point was. Either way you know 100% sniper mains are virgins though.

[@Shoxic666]

It's just moderately specific for comical effect. He specifically said feelings are for guys like that; spur of the moment killers with hot blood.

[@kloovers]

Sniper has a kangaroo wife

[@GyashC4]

“I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife‼️🗣️‼️”

[@BeantheGerridae]

Sniper is furry?!? Now we have 3 furries Pyro, Medic, and now Sniper (but I do have my suspicions on engie though)

[@Blizzard199X]

@@GyashC4Thanks mate!

[@The-Holy-Devil]

@@BeantheGerridae *sniper NAH*, being A furry, and fucking an animal is two different things, ones an alter-ego, and the other's a mental sickness. (furry=alter-ego) (beastiality=mental sickness)

[@cheesepop7175]

But sniper's wife is dead, because as stated in meet the sniper he bludgeoned his wife to death with a golf trophy

[@icarus_is_tired544]

4:23 Sniper is canonically in his late 20s, as in the comics, it's revealed that he was born 10 years after New Zealand sunk, which took place 40 years before the comics. Making Sniper ~30 in the comics. And since the comics come after the games, that means Sniper is at most 28-29 in the games

[@riley-.-]

The amount of euphemisms in this videos based on TF2 terms is absolutely incredible

[@fernoagent8581]

Phloging my gistinator

[@r3xlol]

sniper wont be a virign as long as im around i will get him PREGNANT

[@sheacorduroy5565]

Sniper’s the second youngest merc, only behind Scout. #HeavyTheChad

[@ultimazilla9814]

9:24

[@crushedcan5378]

#HeavyTheChud

[@the10ofdiamondscard]

@@crushedcan5378 joe bama

[@nox..thecoolone]

We not counting Pyro 😭😭😭

[@x8c8r]

heavy fucking threatening someone to steal their woman is so unexpected

[@baileyrogers9632]

Next video: "Which TF2 merc would be able to remember that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?"

[@june9914]

Engi and medic know (obviously), demo somehow still remembers, scout is at a reading level where he would be learning this, heavy is a cointoss, sniper and spy probably fourgot, and pyro and soldier never knew that in the first place

[@baileyrogers9632]

@june9914 Hmmmm, interesting points... BUT! I think Scout would have never known what it was in the first place. The only things he consistently reads are comics and kids books, so I doubt he'd be reading anything that would be teaching him something. So Scout would not or ever know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[@puffythedestroyer8878]

@@june9914 scout would pick up the word while playing Parasite Eve, and it all goes out the other ear when Aya’s on screen.

[@EdinoRemerido]

​@@june9914probably not heavy since, even though he is smart, he studied language, so chances are he would forget

[@Squirdspingle]

Not scout or soldier

[@imsqeker69420]

Soldier and scout are 100% no longer virgins, we can confirm this. Thanks final comic.

[@НикитаКонстантинов-у7д]

Clearly when referring to Medic's wife Demoman mean Heavy

[@CheddarCheese.]

yup

[@owlfluffy]

Demoheavy canon?

[@CheddarCheese.]

@@owlfluffy hell yeah

[@Angry6]

Meavy canon?

[@AnonymousHuman-ku5wh]

I am heavy weapons wife and this is my husband

[@thewhat9204]

Someone at valve saw this and gave the green light for the final comic 😭

[@owlfluffy]

finally we are breaking free from the "lmao is Scout virgin" narrative. that man is the town bicycle and no one can convince me otherwise. also, in Sniper's defence, Heavy's other two sisters do consider him a certified hottie so he's canonically handsome at least. he had to have gotten lucky at least ONCE C'MON

[@GunSpyEnthusiast]

I mean, they also found Soldier to be passable. They would've done marasmus at that rate.

[@mershere]

to also defend our boy mundy, he's quite the looker! he's just going up against australians, which is... unfair.

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

@@mersherewhen the TF2 Australian Beauty Standard is having biceps at least twice the size of your head and everyone else has muscle 3 times the size of you… yeah you have no shot

[@owlfluffy]

@GunSpyEnthusiast nah that was JUST Zhanna, the other two gals were visibly not interested

[@GunSpyEnthusiast]

@@owlfluffy I rest my case

[@remusthetrashking9255]

soldier's dominating sniper: "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife.", (I personally) chalk that to the same thing as demo and medic

[@RedGoldDolfin-ez9iy]

Isn't Sniper 29 years old? He and the Scout are around the same age, I think

[@lennylink69]

it is

[@ivscookie]

Sniper is 26-29 years old, yeah. Scout is most likely 23, but could be 28 years old. I don't know, Lon must've not done any google searches.

[@DD_Vandal]

@@ivscookie scout is 27

[@ivscookie]

@@DD_Vandal I mean I said could be but I mean that's pretty close. Anyway, thanks for the clarification.

[@agusw988]

scout is 23 at first, then 27 in the events of mvm

[@ani_star9729]

4:21 Sniper is actually only a few years older than Scout, being the second youngest merc at 26-30 years old.

[@KommuniKatze385]

But He still Had a kangoroo wife It could Be soldiers Pure stupidity but If He even counts Demos drunk talking He light count that as Well

[@CosmicTaco4]

The whole "all crates and no updates makes Jeremy a dull boy" situation is a bit of a double-edged sword because on one hand we're all slowly deteriorating but on the other it's resulted in some of the most batshit insane (in the best way possible) and interesting discussion topics on the internet

[@toaster9922]

Scout now has four kids, so this list needs updating.

[@StephenStrange-pk6nb]

no its already correct

[@TheDestructiveGiant]

I refuse to believe that pyro even knows what sex is

[@Master_Brutus]

Even if Pyro is actually doing it, probably would think its doing something else.

[@SuperStickAnimationz]

Exactly. Lost it unknowingly m​@@Master_Brutus

[@SiddOnmahkahk]

Scout and Solider now canonically have kids fuck yeahhhhh!!!

[@Atomic_Dusky]

Oh my God we're getting a 10th class named Scount, hell yeah!!!!

[@Nachotaco101]

if demo hasn't had a drunken 1 knight stand with someone i would be surprised

[@mushtashio9902]

Wonderful pun.

[@evaphan2720]

well, now scout is canonically not a virgin anymore

[@alger723]

neither is soldier

[@Atomic_Dusky]

​@@alger723 I feel bad that Heavy now has Nephews and Neices that are Soldier's children

[@AeyakS]

Scout was not a virgin since he was a lot younger. Before he became a mercenary, he was a Boston gangster, and in Expiration Date! (flashback) He apparently scored a random chick at a fast food joint.

[@imwithmilk8162]

I always interpreted the bucket of chicken scene as what scout thinks dating is like, not something that he actually did Oh, and the spy line about scout being a virgin kind of backs me up here

[@manhoovy193]

Yes father that was missing for his sons entire life knows more then he does

[@owlfluffy]

i like to think he just doesn't beleve Scout could ever get a woman on his own (like he's not HIS SON). like Scout could bring home a lady, introduce her as his girlfriend and Spy would just ask how much he paid her.

[@ggg0512_]

didnt the girl in that scene reject him anyway?

[@maxtube1952]

@@ggg0512_ "eh, okay" is a rejection?

[@ggg0512_]

@@maxtube1952 i just rewatched it and ive always thought she said 'nah its okay' as in 'nah im good' my world view is shattered, still dont believe this actually happened lmao

[@Xealous-q4h]

9:24 WHAT THE FU-

[@yebTF2]

I will now eat teleported bread

[@Bonkconsumer]

He he fucks his gun

[@dragonlord4898]

Ima go find that hehehehehehehehehehe Gonna confuse the fuck outta my friends

[@pissedoffbucketguy9115]

This is more in depth than most tf2 lore videos

[@KairanFarr]

Thanks to the 7th comic, we know Scout is not a virgin for definite.

[@silversword404]

Expiration date is a memoir made by Scout. He intentionally left out that the woman who said “alright” to him after he asked to perform the Kazotski Kick with her saw his shortstop, cried, and left.

[@GreenFeatherGuy]

she was expecting a backscatter but found the pretty boys pocket pistol instead😔

[@GunSpyEnthusiast]

Scout has excellent charisma.

[@spinsolar]

Man you guys just make anything up to Scout look bad huh?

[@botondzoltannagy8849]

​@@spinsolaryes they do

[@wombat4191]

That can't be true, he's canonically the God's gift to women so he can't be inadequately endowed. Then again, the same part of the comics is a bit of an indicator that he might be virgin after all. It doesn't straight up confirm it, but his reaction to god asking if he's had sex with all the ladies is "no" and not for example "some".

[@WatchingVideos-w9v]

0:39 tf do you mean 8billion?!

[@andrejmedvec6104]

Every person alive must watch him

[@ZenderMan01]

Dude this comment that just appeared when that part came had me dying

[@Zackgamez_official2013]

There’s barely even 4 billion how are you gonna get 8billion let alone have a month to do it?

[@andrejmedvec6104]

@@Zackgamez_official2013 like alive or watching KZbin?

[@devinohanlon5501]

Actually there are a little over8 billion people ​@@Zackgamez_official2013

[@arcticdino1650]

#heavythechad Judging by meet the Sniper, Sniper is too busy emptying his blader to capture the intel

[@nonameneeded9664]

imagine you as i lady you went to bed with sniper then he proceeds to piss on you instead of cooming, would be real funny

[@OnePortalLover]

Completely unrelated joke: why did the spy cross the road... Cause he was never really on your side!

[@shyguymike]

Spy has a child with Scout's mother? I have never known! It must be one of Jeremy's brothers, considering we know his father is Sir Thomas John ‘Jones’ Woodward, OBE.

[@jakubmroz4761]

Dude it's literally scout it's canon in game and constantly poked fun at in the comics

[@shyguymike]

@jakubmroz4761 I have no clue what you are talking about, Mr. Mroz.

[@bbqmeandyoustinkypinkypewp4298]

​@@jakubmroz4761 you missed the joke.

[@ligoboi3429]

Scout and soldier are now canonically fathers

[@zac9181]

What seven years without an update does to a community:

[@bean370]

While this aged badly

[@tylenolz74]

THIS is the content the tf2 community needs

[@Liphyrus]

Every day i am surprised and appalled by how far a community can go with its content without any updates

[@Dmgladiator2642]

Jesus is there a single tf2 mechanic/weapon/strategy/whatever that can't be turned into an innuendo I didn't realize this game was a gold mine

[@fernoagent8581]

Getting my back burned

[@nonameneeded9664]

@@fernoagent8581 getting meat shots from the scouts scatter gun

[@goo894]

If someone manages to conjure up a Baby Face's Blaster innuendo that doesn't come off as *extremely* creepy, I'll let them use their Boston Basher to put a bleeding effect on me.

[@Shoxic666]

​@@goo894"Baby face" refers to the Scout, it's a reference to Baby face Nelson. It's easier to turn things into innuendos without it being creepy when you actually know what the reference.

[@spiceforspice3461]

@@Shoxic666 Yes, but there's no way that you could make an innuendo off of it that doesn't sound awful

[@CuddlyTheMadElite]

“Believe it or not, Scout’s Scattergun has seen more use than you think it would” THANK GOD YOU DIDN’T USE THE BABYFACE’S BLASTER FOR THAT SENTENCE

[@MichMood72]

*seeeeexeleeeent…* Also I love how scout in the expiration date scene is like an actual human with correct proportions but the girl was just slapped together in seconds Also pyro is British, I forgot where I got this from but pyro is British

[@ToiletRizz-y8z]

Pyro looks serb

[@owlfluffy]

my poor girl deserved so much better :(

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

More like mexican

[@piretiris8223]

Pyro is polish

[@Bready-]

Pyro is chinese

[@MimiMulti]

5:18 i could change that (IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY )

[@Imgettinghelp]

Umm… marker? Why did you say that?

[@The-British-Fella]

#heavythechad Heavy's reaction in poker night is like the large blokes reaction to the pretty dress in "of mice and men"

[@Lonqudor]

Hope he doesn’t get shot like Lenny in the end 😢

[@MichMood72]

Lmao i’m doing omam in class (I knew he gets shot)

[@The-British-Fella]

@NoahWood-j1v lol, call him heavy in class from now on

[@cream_pieluver]

Pyro sees things all rainbow and child like Her being not a virgin would be more worrying

[@genericyoutuber8098]

3:09 Actually, I believe an official TF2 comic artist has drawn art of medic and his wife, and demo and medic’s wife, and medic and heavy, so you decide how canon that is.

[@Shoxic666]

Source

[@sophierescigno5064]

YES! I saw them too! The artist drew sketches of Medic and his wife actually being besties and both flirting with heavy at some point? Lmaooo

[@dexterousli]

If we regard Demo's line as true and not just a drunken rambling, then all 3 are! One of the main comic artists drawing Medic rubbing Heavy's crotch in the sauna isn't canon, but the Beaux and Arrows achievement name and the TFConnect afterparty announcement are absolutely official.

[@Shoxic666]

@@dexterousli Why tf everyone gotta make Heavy and Medic gay smh. Two men can't even have a close working relationship anymore goddamn..

[@dexterousli]

@@Shoxic666 The Sniper achievement for killing a Heavy and Medic pair is called "Beaux and Arrows." Google what "beaux" means and get back to me.

[@Jungleskog]

9:46 miss piddling?

[@roomtemperaturemilk03]

miss pingpong

[@GaryTheGoose884]

Miss pediling

[@big_brein4]

Finally, question that's been on everyones mind since tf2s release

[@LegalizedNuclearB0mb]

SCOUT IS NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!! HE HAS KIDS!!!

[@Sangaroo]

Scout is a virgin, I don't care what you say he just is

[@Alex-n3t]

He keeps trying for Pauling but is DEFINITELY not getting into the bedroom soon

[@Malwils]

I got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it? No.

[@Mai.Calico]

Nobody who’s done it before has a jar of MILK

[@revenantproxy9100]

His virginity regenerates over time.

[@erenjager4236]

"he ran fast and died a virgin"

[@trashdanarts]

there’s no way medic has a wife. that’s a homosexual if i’ve ever seen one

[@-elliott-averagedragonenjo1812]

This

[@trashdanarts]

@ YES THANK YOU FOR AGREEING

[@deimoskz6949]

real

[@loggingfire1]

Heavy is the wife

[@laserliftproductions6544]

As someone who is an actual engineer with a degree from a large PARTY school. Most electrical engineers (I suspect engie is mainly that type) are damn near celibate and scared of women including me 😢

[@Sillygoober104]

He ain’t gonna be celibate when I get my hands on him

[@Shoxic666]

Engie told Blutarch Mann he'd break him in half in response to Mann being disrespectful (and accidentally electrifying him). He's not exactly got anxiety.

[@ExplosiveFelines]

I am moving to another country for an electrical engineering diploma and this is certified true. I am terrified of women.

[@goomah8057]

No issue. Just create yourself an android girlfriend.

[@Sevenma]

Scared of women? As a woman who's into this type, guys, YOU'RE the scary one smartasses, I never can guess if you feel cold because of anixiety or you're annoyed by the overwhelming stupidity I throw upon you when I talk 😭

[@agoosewithaphone7102]

sniper isn't going to be a virgin when i find him

[@OldLiquor1488]

Until he finds you sooner

[@Rie-beck-ite]

real

[@reallythatbad1]

I thought the comics confirmed scout was a virgin when he went to heaven.

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

Yeah, i told the same

[@randomdude9630]

no, its that scout hasnt had sex with every woman on earth

[@ChronicallyOn]

Scouts aged poorly, sadly

[@demongamer_IX]

10:57 Counter Argument, how do we know she’s not adopted? Maybe Grey Mann adopted her so she could fight Saxton because adopting a child would be a lot easier and cheaper than having a relationship.

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

I think same

[@bobbyferg9173]

That's actually a pretty good point, especially when you consider how old Grey Mann is and how young Olivia is. Not to mention he seems like someone too occupied with his plans to bother with that

[@crushedcan5378]

@@bobbyferg9173 I always thought he just ran with the impregnation device plan.

[@Master_Brutus]

I always assumed he adopted her.

[@rubentelur]

nah shes not adopted. prolly just had her the normal way, and then dumped the mother

[@s70709]

if sniper was in with a 3km radius with me he would be pregnant

[@migitri]

Medic is my favorite but I've always thought it's funny that he allegedly got cucked. Also #heavythechad

[@LinusDickens]

2:18 mate, i think scout just made that up... Theres no way he actually pulled a random woman...

[@ThunderXSurge]

I'VE SAID VIRGIN SNIPER CHAD HEAVY FOR SO MANY YEARS

[@minibot2.o136]

Pyro sadly hadnt gotten any “mmph!” In his phlogster

[@TheOnlySauceBoss]

Scout is literally said to be: "God's gift to women"

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

And he's answer God that they don't lay with him, wich contradict that he's not a virgin

[@Shoxic666]

​@@Your_dear_friend9999Not *all* of them, never said he hadn't gotten a few. There is actually a number between 0 and 8 billion, fyi.

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

@@Shoxic666 But he didn't mention that "any" of them lay with him, it's the same sophistic argument. It's didn't concretisize anything in that question.

[@Shoxic666]

@@Your_dear_friend9999 It left it vague, but the odds favour Scout getting laid at least once. Also the fact he's rich from mercenary work.

[@Your_dear_friend9999]

@Shoxic666 He probably send most of his money to theirs big family. But ok, he's charm very possible to get him a girlfriend someday, just need more patience and perseverance for it

[@business_pear]

4:23 "probably late 40s man" Sniper is actually one of the youngest mercs, being around the same age as Scout, between 26-30 years of age.

[@SketchG]

0:16 YO CONGRATS MAN

[@craftykit2242]

Medic has a wife, and her name is Heavy

[@ddarianne6086]

Not enough research done! I AM GREATLY DISSAPOINTED! In the WAR! update promotional comic you can see both BLU Soldier and RED demoman with girls in one of their many adventures toguether, so yeah dude shags A LOT, AND HOW CAN HE NOT HE IS LITERALLY THE MOST HANDSOME MERCENARY, THAT CHIN, DUDE IS FIT (not talking post being fired from RED) PLAYS THE PIANO AND IS A VERY EXOTIC BLACK SCOTTISH CICLOPS! FOR SHAME Also I can't believe you didn't mention THAT IN THE TF2 UPDATE BLOGS LITERALLY WAS WRITTEN OUT "Heavy and Medics love can't be stop!" HEAVY IS MEDICS WIFE DUUUUUUUH. wait... hahah I'm joinking but I can't believe the VA's got away with so much. Though their bromance has a lot more merit these days thanks to them HAHAHAHAHAH. And if you want to take the search for the sandvich cannon to the mercs... pyros does go along with the mistery woman...

[@theJamesexpress]

1 month and most them have lost tha v-card (especially scout)

[@wingedbluj1674]

I'm fairly certain Olivia Mann is adopted.

[@MajorMrNuts]

Idk dude she has gray's mannerisms down to a tee

[@KazuinEnjoyer]

scout is now canonically non-virgin

[@Your_boi_axo_animate]

6:32 I like to headcanon that engi built the Mimi sentry to experience being a father

[@evilskwdirector]

canon

[@manintheline5331]

Canon

[@Patchouli.Knowledge.]

canon

[@JoeLikesTheSnow]

ew no you gooner😭😭

[@Your_boi_axo_animate]

@@JoeLikesTheSnow how is headcanon-ing that Engi wants a daughter, so he built the mimi sentry gooner-type shenanigans?

[@carebear7460]

Sniper is canonically in his late twenties early thirties between the game and the comics

[@ArronAnims]

Justice for my boy Marasmus

[@TheGingerStealer]

"I'll send my condolence to your kangaroo wife" Sniper could possibly be a furry

[@fenix0seraph]

According to his VA Sniper dated three sheep girlfriends because he doesn't care for humans.

[@Doc_Ludwig]

My “wife” is heavy

[@Jay_A_Comenter]

I’m not even gonna ask how people think of this

[@AvaMarie02]

THIS is the analysis the community needs

[@m00nsickn3ssx6]

Okay but sniper is NOT on his forties bro 🗣️

[@Totally_not_alpharius]

4:01 but what about his kangaroo wife?

[@rainwobrain]

I was shaggin his fat furry kangaroo wife

[@sadathusovic7217]

H- what?

[@M3GAQ]

scout is canonically not a virgin anymore, he has kids lol

[@maxtube1952]

You missed a golden opportunity for a "baby face's blaster" joke with the Scout cosmetic "The Track Terrorizer."

[@crushyou50]

7:13 that pyro joke was insane 💀

[@Bradorks]

#HeavyTheChad Dude you forgot the legendary moment on Well when Heavy and Medic danced the forbidden dance.

[@Spams-the-lasers]

GET BEHIND ME DOCTOR!

[@xexecuterxx]

pyro has def done shit at a latex club 100%, also was a ceo, he/she has absolutely taken someone to pyroland

[@BreadLoafSFM]

5:30 You forgot about his kangaroo wife, he Fortifies the Coumpound (kill me) every weekend with her.

[@SandiestSaunders]

D A N G

[@Big-Eich-für-Parlament]

Crazy how Scout is now a father