WHO SHOULD YOU INVITE?! Guest List Do's and Don'ts

[@Alicia-K]

"If they haven't affected your life or your fiance's life, then you don't need to invite them." Bingo

[@glamgirl7779]

My Beba Life so true!

[@ModernLady]

What if those people are close family though?

[@shaylamoore2220]

Well then I guess no one would be at my wedding 🤣😭

[@kailebrogan447]

Call me crazy. But if they are your bosses and helped finance it...maybe invite them? But maybe that's just me

[@MCA_Lives]

If they haven’t affected my life, well that’s damn near everyone except family

[@bubblesngirlystuff]

My fiance and I both have pretty big Latino families. So the "one aunt, all aunts" doesn't work. We came up with a rule saying if we've never been invited to one of their parties (bday, baptism, showers, etc), or can't name all of their kids we won't be sending and invite. Might ruffle some feathers but 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@lilyobrien3264]

bubblesngirlystuff I agree. I have a large family with a lot of kids and that’s not happing. I’m inviting my siblings and my nieces and nephews that live under my siblings roof or your not coming

[@Jacquiggl]

bubblesngirlystuff I’m thinking of inviting primos hermanos and not second cousins lol Latinos families are huge!

[@sonnyteniya]

I'm not even getting married but, if it ever comes up, this comment is it 👏👏👏👏

[@carolinaruiz3899]

This is a great advice. I’m latina as well and I just counted 86 guests from my dad’s side only (uncles, aunts, and cousins )😭😭😭 Even tho my dad is very closed to all of them, I’m not. I don’t even know all my nephews and nieces names, and my parents are expecting me to invite all of them.

[@ashleyeliza0608]

That’s so smart! I come from a big family also & that is what we ended up doing.

[@o0Theresa0o]

I did e-vites to my wedding. Best. Decision. Ever. Since it was an easy click to say yes or no, everyone RSVP'd early and almost right away. I also didn't have to spend the time finding addresses before the wedding (I collected addresses for personalized thank yous afterward, but it was during a time when I was way less stressed out), and I didn't mail out a bunch of paper people would throw away anyway. I also saved a boatload of money, and no one really cared. For future brides out there - seriously consider e-vites. Sure, it's not traditional. But it's far more economical, environmentally friendly, and WAY less stressful.

[@savannahcoleman5672]

Yes! E-vite is great. I used this for graduation and got most of my responses the first day and then within the first week. After that, it was just a matter of sending a group e-mail which is possible through e-vite reminding them to give a response, or calling up the few who did not.

[@o0Theresa0o]

Ah, yes. I forgot about the ease in which I was able to remind people. I was also able to send updates to everyone immediately. Truthfully, I think people appreciated it more than paper invites, too. They didn't have to find the time to get to a mailbox. They didn't have to put my stuff in the trash. It was all easily available on their computer. It was simpler. I'd say the only downside was that it was also easier for people to cancel. I think people might have been less inclined to cancel if they had to put more effort into it (or otherwise they would have simply no-showed and I wouldn't have known at all... so maybe it was actually still better). In any case, if I were to do it all over again (even with an unlimited budget), I would do e-vites again.

[@ueitipulepule5064]

Trickius hi.. just wanted to which e-invite software/program please. I’m in Australia and tried a few but they were more geared to the U.S. and their apps are not available in Australia. Thanks in advance

[@bioshockbrat9171]

I'm hoping to do a Facebook event type thing and have them do e-vites through that. I will do negotiations on plus ones, as I want close family and friends. If you want to bring a friend run it by me and we will see what can do. Is it weird that I want to invite a few high school teachers, as my boyfriend and I met in some of their classes?

[@glamgirl7779]

Trickius I was thinking of doing mail out the STDs and invites but doing online RSVP’s for mine (when I get engaged/married lol)

[@brookemechelle1457]

I’m not anywhere near getting married but I still watch all of your videos 😂

[@troybolton6444]

That’s me I’m literally 17 and single

[@solointheburbs]

Me as well

[@bioshockbrat9171]

I'm getting married in 3 years and I'm planning ahead as I'm in a very rare state of my life where I'm just sitting on my ass, whereas after my fiance gets out of school then I'm going to start post secondary and have zero time to do anything. Except work and school then work and find a place of our own

[@glamgirl7779]

Brooke Mechelle honestly it’s better to know these things so if a friend gets married U know what advice to give! :) 💖

[@xxitzmissunknownxx4041]

Sameee😂I'm 15

[@misskimberly5]

Would I take them to dinner & pay for it?? Really good point!!

[@glamgirl7779]

misskimberly5 honestly such a good point

[@sgtducky312]

That’s how I have looked at it since day one. Lol but I work in the bridal industry.

[@Andi-ll1fh]

I pay for everyone's dinner (/.\)

[@lehcar3209]

misskimberly5 game changer for me

[@kaylarose9012]

So I have a 3 person guest list then 😂

[@shaylamitchell3160]

Within the first month of my engagement, anyone who saw my ring would try to invite themselves

[@abigailashby6347]

I know the feeling.

[@Enzo_thesamoyed]

Omg me too! Congrats btw!

[@CheyBudgets]

This happened to us as well we weren’t sure how to answer it so have just said we have a set amount of guests and can’t go over most of them make up the family on both sides

[@helenameyer9778]

I have a general rule against not (even jokingly) saying "I better be invited" to people in my life who get engaged (which hasn't been many yet...) because that makes it awkward for them if they weren't going to invite me. I'm not offended if people don't want me to come or can't afford to invite everyone they want. I was surprised enough when one of my old work-buddies invited me to her wedding (WITH A PLUS 1) because I knew they didn't have tons of money to spend. It's their day and it's up to them (and their wallets) who they want to invite. TL;DR - I don't ask to be invited....even jokingly. It's just awkward.

[@starrydayshine]

Sis, I feel ya.

[@lauramae554]

We ended up saying to my husbands mom only the people who he’s seen in the past two years would be invited. Or if he was walking down the street he’d know who they were and would say hi and have an actual conversation with. She was trying to invite people he hasn’t seen since he was extremely little and had no clue who they were🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Paige-zr6pn]

Laura Mae thanks for this tip! Im nervous to deal with that because when his mom and I have chatted wedding guests, she mentions people he hasn’t seen in ages. Him and I have an idea of who we want to invite and she’d like to add probably 20 extra people. (I want a smaller more intimate wedding so 20 is a lot) Yours is a good rule to have and may help me hold my ground.

[@Bubblepoppin2]

I disagree with the parents comment, I think if parents are giving money to you as a gift for your wedding day and not something with strings attached (within reason of course), you shouldn't have to compromise on your friends not being their so theirs can be. But that is my opinion, however yes if they want to bring a few close family friends bite your tongue totally agree!

[@Delphadae]

My fiance's mom was mentioning a bunch of aunts, uncles, and cousins when we were talking about our guestlist. At one point my fiance says "Uncle so-and-so, I havent seen him since I was a kid..." We both want a small wedding with only friends and family closest to us... So it'll be a conversation we might have to have with her if she keeps bringing it up :/ (my fiance and I are pretty much paying for the wedding ourself. It would be different if his parents were paying for some of it, but..yeah. It's stressful)

[@sarahlara8420]

this is my biggest fear!

[@falloncarrington4702]

@@Delphadae What I would say is sure, invite whoever you want. The cost for inviting one person is this and this. If you definitely want this person there you can cover their fee as I have a limited budget and I don't know them that well. Budget and limited venue size are the best ways to say no.

[@OliviaJones-fd6fi]

Umm...Can we talk about your top? That color is amazing on you.

[@glamgirl7779]

Olivia Menchaca right?! I’d love for her to do a closet tour!

[@JessentialLife]

Yea, it's sooooo pretty! She is too, though 🥂

[@tashawilliams8093]

The groom and bride are NOT obligated to invite everyone they've ever known.

[@TheKiknessa]

Lol totally breaking the cousin rule. I'm only having 60 guests and i have more than 60 cousins (yes first cousins and not including the 30+spouses on top of that) so I'm absolutely picking and choosing

[@abeejalan7444]

Same. My family is massive. I’m inviting maybe a handful of relatives but I’m also thinking of having a list for after dinner only. A coworker did that so she could still have a lot of people but could actually afford to serve a dinner

[@esterixis]

@Jessica Robidas same here; way more than 60 1st cousins. I invited 4 of them; one declined because it was "adults only." Sorry, but I refused to stress out over kids running into the wedding cake(BTW, it happened at another wedding, BEFORE the reception even started!).

[@kaitlyns8105]

My rule of thumb for the invite list is if I haven't seen or spoken to them in the last two year (3 with Covid) then they aren't invited. A wedding isn't a reunion for your extended family, it's to celebrate the couple. It shouldn't end up being a "If you don't invite your Great Aunt Bessy, then when else will we get to see her?" situation. Your relatives are perfectly capable of planning a reunion to see their own family members on their own time.

[@JerryMander-y2x]

While I agree to an extent, I also feel that couples have the rest of their lives to party with their social set of friends but only one wedding day, and that day should be about family. You exclude Great Aunt Bessy so as to invite your friends and chances are your friends won't even notice this much less be grateful. But the Aunties and other members of "the older set" WILL notice that you have excluded your own friends so as to allow family to gather on this special day. And be grateful to you. Many friends fall away as your life changes, but family is there for you when most need them.

[@jimsvideos7201]

I appreciate your diplomacy; this is no doubt a big stressor for many couples.

[@warcraftnut1354]

We're paying for our wedding therefore WE HAVE THE VETO POWER. Also thanks for the video.

[@neurologylove2135]

Same!

[@darcyferrigno]

Yes! I wish more people embraced this. My first wedding I invited people I didn't want or really need there. (Mainly because of the ex) But this time around we are doing what we want :)

[@patriciamonique47]

This is the hardest decision to make. You want to please everyone but you just can’t.

[@glamgirl7779]

Monique Avisan ugh so true! It can be so difficult!

[@marisolsoprano]

Oh it's impossible to please everyone that's why it's okay to not care if people get offended. 🤷

[@squirrelchick22]

My wife and I didn't invite 1 of her grandmothers because she was making homophobic comments about us before we sent invites. (We're both women) Neither of us regret it because it definitely changed her attitude towards me.

[@Brawllipop]

Dude, she must be such a sucky lady. I’m glad you gals didn’t let her rain on your parade!

[@glamgirl7779]

Ashley Struck that’s so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry Ashley!

[@syndabe1555]

Good for you! It’s a very special day and NOBODY that’s unsupportive should be there to bring you down. I have a non existent relationship with my sister in law because she’s very malicious and blatantly rude to the whole family. I told my brother he could come but she’s absolutely not allowed. It’s hard when it’s a situation like that but this is my day and if my brother chooses not to come because of that, I completely understand. I can’t choose if she shows up to family functions normally but that’s the one day I can choose to be surrounded with nothing but love and support with no negativity.

[@cordelialauryn1197]

This is the problem we are having right now too :( I’m so glad that it worked out for you!

[@anubis.monster]

Good on you for standing your ground! I’m having the same issue, except I’m not inviting my father. A lot of people are upset with me because of it, but he has been openly and aggressively homophobic and transphobic (me and my fiancé are both trans men) to my face, and we don’t talk anymore. So. He’s not coming. It’s our special day, and I don’t want someone coming who disapproves of us and will rain on our parade. Blood or not.

[@BriVanHorn97]

As a wedding guest, I usually just assume that I’m not invited until the invitation shows up. I’ve had hurt feelings before over not being invited to a wedding, so now to avoid that I just assume I will be spending the evening at home. 😂

[@oracleofdewphi]

Same! One friend posted two save the dates on social media where I could see it, and I wasn’t invited. He invited everyone else in our social group, and I don’t know what I did wrong, if anything.

[@BrigitteDiessl]

When I got married 25 years ago, we started off by making a list of people we couldn't not invite - family, family friends, best friends etc and then went from there. That was a really helpful way. Each venue has a number limit.

[@AmandaZooKeeper]

My fiancé and I are inviting whom we want to, and not inviting whom we don't want to. It is our wedding and that's as it should be. If anyone doesn't like our decisions, that's their problem.

[@JerryMander-y2x]

If you wouldn't make a speech to all your guests announcing "I invited all my sibling except Lisa because she's such a bitch," then invite Lisa. It is always incorrect to use your wedding guest list to excite malicious speculation on WHY this or that conspicuous omission.

[@tiffytangy]

Covid is a great excuse to keep your guest count extra special and small!

[@henrysmithpham4587]

😭

[@qusharif1853]

My sediments exactly

[@bethanyhanna9464]

When I was younger, this list would have really come in handy. Since I'm older, not only are most of the extended family dead, but we're making the cut at those who've paid an ounce of attention to us in the past decade. 🤣😂🤣 Kids are welcome at our wedding. But that's because the numbers are reduced at the other end of the age spectrum. We've also figured out the loophole about keeping the numbers down, by having a sober wedding. It's surprising how many people just won't come, if they can't get drunk. 😇

[@staarvsraainbow]

My friends got married this summer, the grim invited a friend who just assumed that he had a plus one. They texted about a week before the wedding & the friend was talking about their plus one attending...& he had to tell him that only he was invited. He said to me that he would have said yes to a plus one for him if he asked nicely, but he didn’t like the way he went about it.

[@evelgreytarot8401]

How many people here don't even have a partner but are just watching these? Just me? Ok.

[@rebeccacastro2525]

Evel Grey Tarot nope. Me too

[@rachaelbencic740]

I come from a big family that is not very close (11 aunts and uncles + spouses and ex's)... There will not be many who receive invitations (same goes for cousins)... All the power to all those who have normal, loving extended families! Enjoy your weddings!

[@lauramae554]

Have you done a what a guest should wear video??? I was at a wedding this past weekend and someone showed up in ALL WHITE!!!! Like wtf?

[@KriziaIra]

I also heard red should not be worn because it stands out in pictures!? However I have definitely seen this at several weddings.

[@chloegilroy8422]

I've seen some truly awful ones here in Ireland, tiny mini dresses slit all the way up the thigh. If the girl moves the wrong way everything is on display. Now I know it's her body to dress how she wants but c'mon it's the couples wedding day, surely they should be the main topic of conversation 🤔😂

[@lauramae554]

Jamie Wolfer I’ve already told my matron and maid of honor that if someone shows up in white to Nicely ask them to go change or leave. I actually specifically said to wear darker colors on my wedding website. 🙈

[@lauramae554]

Krizia Ira I’m actually okay with red, it’s one of my favorite colors haha But the guest should know a bright red dress you can see a mile away isn’t the best idea...

[@drabby7925]

Lol I’ve asked my sisters to pick out a white dress each.

[@marta0929]

I've been married for almost 7 years, I have no intention of doing a wedding but I cant stop watching your videos. It is so entertaining :D

[@marta0929]

yes seriously, I binge watch your videos :D

[@mrsgunsoul]

"You have to invite both people if they're married." Me and my hubby disagree with this. Neither one of us likes his mother's new husband and his mom's husband doesn't like me so we're gonna invite just his mother :D His mom's husband probably wouldn't come anyway (99,99 % sure about that) but we don't want that chance. We're already married but the wedding party is yet to be held, but it is still our day, our party and we want to feel comfortable. Same goes for "invite one cousin and you'll have to invite all your cousins". If I'm more in touch with some relatives and then again some I've not seen in three years nor have I ever attended any of their parties and whatever in my adult life, I'm not gonna invite just for the sake of awkward smiles and extra money spent on them.

[@Cherrybubbles321]

Here is the problem... I don't want certain family members there but this would affect other family members. Idk how to deal with this

[@gracegroom8700]

I'm getting married in August and dealing with the same thing. I'm definitely breaking some of these rules. I'm only inviting two cousins and one set of my Aunt's and Uncles. I knew one of my aunt's would be very offended I made a point to call her and explain the situation. I told her and get husband that I care about them and it wasn't a reflection of our relationship (kinda was) and that we just wanted a very small and intimate wedding. They totally understood but even if they hadn't then it puts the pressure on them to act as adults because you have been so respectful towards them and their feelings. My other aunts and uncles aren't offended that they are not being invited at all and they're actually throwing me a wedding shower for the people that can't come. It was all their idea and it worked out really well. I wish the best for you! I hope maybe some part of this helped you

[@catieq5270]

little kitty it’s your day!!!!!! Do whatever makes you happy

[@EternalSnoie]

destination weddings tend to help cut some members who cant go.

[@YourDailyDoseofJillish]

Yeah, my uncle is a hoarder and I don't really want him at my wedding. Every other person is invited though, so idk what to do. He might be homeless at the point I'm sending invites though, so it might not be a problem

[@SummerRuby86]

Man! I would have no idea what it would be like to have "too many people" to consider... we're struggling to get 30 people!

[@shaylamoore2220]

Jacque Diane same and I’m kind of sad about it 🤣

[@SjofnBM1989]

Some people have really big families.

[@netteloveszebras]

I have a friend who is an only child, his fiance is an only child, all four of their parents are only children. It'll be easy to keep the guest list on the smaller side.

[@allyandrew1234]

Family members are hard! I’m close with one cousin but not my other million lol

[@BrittanyShae]

I love this video because it has helped me consider who I plan on inviting. I was on the fence about my dad (he didn’t attend my graduation despite being invited), but I’m going to. I would pay for his dinner. Despite his downfalls in recent years, he has impacted me. Thank you sooo much for this video!

[@Septic-Hearts]

When I was in High School two of my teachers got married over a summer in a completely different state. When they came back they had to deal with a bunch of students asking why they didn't get an invite. Most were just joking and offered their congratulations but my teachers were pretty open about how ridiculous they thought it was for some students to actually be offended for not getting an invite. One of them put it simply: "I'm only here because I have to be, outside of this, I don't want to see any of you. If you ever see me in public, chuck up a peace sign and go your merry way." I've lived by that statement ever since, and will surely use it if I ever get married.

[@jbrown7986]

Please do a video on the day-of wedding timeline.

[@glamgirl7779]

Jerome Brown yes that would be fun to watch

[@JessentialLife]

I agree!

[@marisolsoprano]

It's up! It's called how to build a wedding timeline! 🙌

[@lexie3005]

Planning this guest list is truly my nightmare. I’m trying my hardest to get through it and hope that it’s all smooth sailing from there. Thank you for the tips.

[@kainatxkay]

So awkward because my coworkers have been pestering me to invite them to my wedding EVERY time my engagement is brought up. My family and fiancé's family is already 220 people. That does not include friends and close family friends. The guest limit is 300. Work is gonna get awkward, but I just don't have enough room to invite them. 😬 Thank you for your awesome tips always!!

[@TheUnveiledBride]

Kainat Qurashi Just tell them soon so it doesn’t keep building up! Maybe you can let them throw a little celebration for you at work? Everyone loves parties, and that way they will feel involved!

[@sableann4255]

I went through that...Only invite close co-workers, it's a tough spot to be in! :)

[@rezaeaforoutan8914]

Could ask them if they going to help with your wedding. A crowd like that people need help! Especially when you’re setting a specific limit

[@kphoria1009]

don’t invite all your family members lol

[@jackelinemorales116]

Not inviting my family because they never have anything positive to say and every time they get together drama ensues

[@Libby7]

could you make a video about the difference between the ceremony/breakfast invite vs the reception invite? xx

[@amandac57999]

What about people your fiancé hasn’t met? Distant family, coworkers you like and see outside of work sometimes, etc ?

[@BriannaGraceOfficial]

YESSS. Thank you for this. The inviting kids thing is probably a soft spot for my family, but I don't plan on inviting them. Also for the plus one thing... And for the idea of if you went to a friend's wedding within the last 18 months to keep them on the list. Didn't even think of that!

[@JerryMander-y2x]

Right. Singles may be invited as singles. And hosts may invite a special friend for SOME guests without an obligation to invite a special friend EVERY unmarried guest.

[@christinavelasquez64]

Damn she said all the cousins. I don't even know half my cousins😂

[@bladynebula346]

Same

[@HUNTLOW_LUMITY4EVER]

Half of mine are abroad and I don’t think I wanna fly them out if I decided to get married, but then again I love my aunt and she practically helped raise me so I would be sad if she couldn’t be there so maybe an exception for the ones I hold close to my heart

[@tashawilliams8093]

Exactly.

[@danielleroberts1312]

So Jamie, here is my idea: I have a huge family. For just my graduation party there were over 200 people there who were just in state family (of which I knew like 50 including my friends) but for my wedding I want something much smaller and intimate with people I feel comfortable around not just obligated to invite. However I know that if I went that route that A TON of people would be upset for not receiving an invitation. So I was thinking that I might have a winter destination wedding. From what I've been told is that with destination weddings you should expect about a 50% (give or take) attendance rate. Then add in it being around the holiday's and it goes down even more so in the end only the people who really love and care about me and him will make an effort to be there. So that way everyone gets invited but most of the "2nd cousins twice removed" bunch won't bother to come. If any of the people we want there can't afford it we will cover financially (since we will only have like 50 people there vs 500) and if any family we aren't very close to still takes the time and money to come then we are happy to have you. What do you think Jamie? 😂 Terrible idea or a winter wedding wonderland?

[@angelacartiglia]

Danii Popss I love this too!! Congratulations ✨

[@tianahunstable4539]

Okay. But you have to realize that some of the second cousins and whatnot might just RSVP with a yes. Some people may be more family oriented or sentimental and feel like they NEED to be there.

[@ThaoNguyen-hl6mb]

That's what I want, too. I once told my bf that my dream is to have a destination wedding in Viet Nam (my home country) and I would cover for my family the best vacation there is. He started looking quite pale but then I told him the flight alone costs like $2000 while staying local is practically cheap. It's a win-win situation: still destination wedding, fewer expecting guests but closer to home and lesser planning expense...

[@BlackRosary81]

Danii Popss I think it’s a great idea and I wish I could have done it but too many elderly in my family that are too sick to travel. But I hope it works for you bc I come from a huge family too so I’m just expecting some feelings to be hurt because I cannot afford a wedding for 300 people. Good luck!

[@toocutenoirb.4278]

Be careful. I actually thought of that. But a lot on my dads side (ex military) they all traveled for my dads and were willing for my sisters wedding I mean they planned carpools and hotels together. -_- So if they really carer about you they may surprise you and make a way to show up. My sister planned a 60 person wedding out of state thinking not many would go on a trip or go on a cruise wedding (they toyed with going to the Bahamas)....But 210 ppl RSVP'd (that was just our family NOT including the grooms side). lets just end it with they eloped. cause the family is very close and supportive and she did wanna spend that much. So there may still be people willing to go for you big day cause its you and they care.

[@JD-im2kh]

I think a lot of people are offended not being invited to a wedding until they plan one and see how much everything costs. I’m sure they would invite you if they could afford it. For example if you invite one person that is in a relationship you pay for 2 dinners. You pay for tables, chairs, table settings, linens. You need to get a larger venue for a larger guest count. You have to pay for almost everything based on your guest count. My venue charges $500 more for the rental for over 100 guests. So if we have 101 we would pay $500 for just one more person so we need to keep our guest count at 100 or under.

[@aurorapiaggesi]

My fiancé and I decided to drop altogether the "Plus-ones" if those people are not part of our lives. Any guest cost 100 euros, and we don't feel like inviting people we barely know just because they live with our friends. The same for kids: there is no child that we would miss if they did not come, and a bored kid can be really the worst. So they are not invited. People are so relieved when we say that: :-)

[@jaquelineedwards6988]

I watched this with my fiancé and it really helped when figuring out the coworker situation. He's a firefighter and they are all tight nit but there is a small group that he does hangout with outside of work. Also the tip of taking them to dinner and paying is brilliant!! Thanks for all the advice. Also your hair looks super cute!

[@src4409]

Recently had 2 "friends" get mad for some unknown reason and not invite us to their birthday party.... thats 2 cut from the list.

[@brandimarie2400]

1 member of my family has a habit of inviting their own people to events. For perspective, my engagement party had about 40 people invited, a few missing here and there. NOW we are supposed to fit almost 100 people in a backyard for the engagement party. I am so worried about what they are going to do to my wedding day and just how mean I am going to have to get...

[@gracefisher1950]

You should make a video on what guest should wear to weddings!

[@glamgirl7779]

Grace Fisher yes esp for formal vs black tie vs casual!

[@FreyaxXxChii]

I was wondering whether I should leave a remark on the invitations that I do not want other women to wear super fancy gowns in white/ivory/blush/... A friend was at a wedding where a girl was wearing a light pink gown with lace on the bodice and with a flower crown updo. And her dress had a freaking TRAIN. Srsly, on the black&white photos you mistake her for the bride.

[@flamered1532honey]

@@FreyaxXxChii i actually put that in our invitations,. To wear: any shade of violet/purple/lavender will be appreciated but optional NOT TO WEAR : WHITE,CREAM, BEIGE,RED AND BLACK DRESS IS A NO-NO! And even with that there were people asking still if they can wear red, 🙄. Haha 😂😂😂 i'm not being a bridzilla, but it's better to put it in writing because some people don't know that those color is not good to wear in a wedding (except maybe for black, that's just me, because it give me the feels of a funeral)

[@alisonsmith7162]

In my experience it worked out fine to invite everyone who wanted to come, to the ceremony and morning tea afterward. We just had immediate family, wedding party and guests who came from interstate at our wedding reception.

[@gabymont4811]

I'm gonna be hurting so many feelings when I get married 😎

[@theZmoee]

A lot of these seem silly to me. If I’m closer with one cousin, coworker, teammate, neighbor than I am with others, who cares if they’re upset about not being invited? The only people I want there are the people I love the most, the people who have been there for us, the people we know will help us have the best time possible. I’m not inviting my aunt I hate just because he’s inviting his favorite uncle 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Bravokaylyn]

My husband is in the military and we both went to a large college. So the weddings we’ve been invited to is massive, over the past four years we’ve probably attended over 40-50 weddings. So we decided to elope by ourselves because we didn’t want to hurt peoples feelings and start drama.

[@farahsloan]

Love your videos! Will you do one on how to choose your bridesmaids? How many, who should be considered, if you like your middleschool bff's sister better than her now...... Etc etc... ! Thanks for all your tips!

[@samanthalaufkoehler1536]

My husband and I did an A/B list but sent the first round of invites really early (like 4-6 months in advance) and mostly to family/others that live out of state. Our second round was mostly friends from college (we got married & live in the city where we went to college, and got married less than a year after I graduated). I wouldn’t recommend it unless your circumstances are similar to ours, but also don’t remember it being a lot of work!

[@KalieghBerg1]

This is such a good video for people. I felt so bad not inviting certain people but you are right I wouldn't pay for their dinner. Also got a lot of crap for having kids on the list but we knew certain people wouldn't be able to attend if we didn't allow children. We have most of our RSVPs back and we only have 3 families that did take up the offer to bring their kids. I think most people we invited just appreciate the offer.

[@allisongroening9865]

I agree the whole A-list, B-list thing sucks, but.. 75% of my guest list (including myself and fiancé) need to travel in order to attend. So we expect a bunch to decline because of the travel and we still have a min guest count we have to meet. So I feel like it's the only way!

[@MissKiki89]

Haha! Yea my RSVP response date was September 5th..... I've gotten 5 back and sent out about 150....I even hand delivered them! Planning a wedding is definitely the most stress I've endured and I'm a preschool teacher! Good luck fellow brides. Hopefully when its all over I'll feel normal again! 😂 3 weeks to go! Btw, your videos keep me sane and I love you for that!

[@JerryMander-y2x]

Never give a RSVP deadline; it will only encourage dawdlers to dawdle. Instead follow up invitations with a phone call. "An invitation sent to your address may have been lost in the mail. The hosts are quite concerned." This establishes that the invitation has been received, so you express joy then ask "When might the hosts expect your response? Will you know within the week?" If someone asks for a deadline, tell them "As soon as possible! The hosts are naturally anxious to know whether or not you will attend." Call with increasing frequency until you wrangle in all responses. ... Note that these phone calls 1. allow you to communicate details of expected dress, what sort of food and drink will be served, where to park, and so much else, and 2. are the perfect opportunity for people to ask "What sort of gift might the couple appreciate." Good manners tells us to provide this sort of information if and only if you are asked to do so!

[@netteloveszebras]

About having to invite all the uncles/aunts/cousins to not ruffle feathers... My aunt's 3 daughters didn't invite us to their weddings so the feathers are pre-ruffled and they definitely aren't invited 😂

[@jamjamjamjam25]

This is why I believe in destination weddings, most of the people you feel obligated to invite but don’t really want to come probably won’t pay for a plane ticket to attend.

[@ashfresna3223]

That sounds great!

[@lisakudulis8637]

Can you please do a video about how to have a private ceremony?! My Fiance and I are battling some family because we want a small ceremony and then a more open reception. I need advice on the best way to handle it! You're videos are amazing and have been so helpful in the process of planning! Keep it Up!

[@sgtducky312]

Lisa Kudulis we looked into doing that too! I’d love a video on that.

[@liyah5726]

I think that’s what my fiancé and I will be doing because it’s just cheaper and quite frankly, it’s less drama too. That way we can tell people “we wanted our ceremony to be small” but the reception can still be a moment for everyone to celebrate.

[@JerryMander-y2x]

The notion that ceremony and celebration are one big event rather than two distinct events is more Wedding Industry hyped to needless increase wedding spending. It is not incorrect to marry in a cathedral before a congregation of hundreds and then celebrate quietly with a few intimates. It is not incorrect to exchange vows with few or minimal witnesses and then celebrate with gala for your 700 dearest friends. ... I suggest sending out invitations to your celebration and in a selected few include a ceremony card. Example: Ceremony / Eleven in the morning / Chapel in the Swamp / 1234 Mosquito Road, Bogtown. ... PS There is no RSVP for the ceremony, only the party part.. The rationale is that marriage is a religious sacrament therefore God is The Host and not you.

[@LeighJBell]

I’m so pleased I don’t have this issue! 30 people including us and our two children. Nearest and very dearest only! We can’t wait to spend our day with them ☺️

[@TheUnveiledBride]

Leigh Hanley This is best way to go - minimize the stress and the drama!!

[@nadiadansani2139]

Let’s get her to 100 K this year!!!!

[@Mrs.Hunk206]

Thank You! I just got engaged on Christmas and I'm stressing about the guest list already 😐 this was very helpful to get me thinking who I shouldn't invite.

[@TheUnveiledBride]

Kelsi Lucier Congrats on your engagement Kelsi!! 🎉If the guest list is stressing you out, I suggest starting on it early and getting it done so you don’t have to keep worrying about it! Just set aside a couple of hours and knock it out!

[@marisolsoprano]

Congratulations!

[@theyearningsoullifestylech777]

When is your wedding?

[@theyearningsoullifestylech777]

Congratulations on the engagement, I also have a wedding this year in 2020

[@Mrs.Hunk206]

We haven't set a date yet or even started planning. I'm focusing on getting a new job first.. Not currently happy at my job. Thank you for the tips! They are greatly appreciated once I do start planning.

[@sophier315]

I’m 13 any I probably have 10 years until I get married. But I am still binge watching your videos because I really love them😂

[@zleda]

Sophie L same😂

[@SophieMelissa]

We are just having immediate family’s kids, and plus ones only if you’re engaged, married or living together in a long term relationship :) all other friends are invited for our evening reception as we are packed full!

[@megantaylor2871]

Currently wedding planning. This is an actual conversation: Wedding planner: How many guests are we expecting? My mom: 200-300 Me: WHAT? Woah I wanted to cap it at 150. My mom: Well of course we’re inviting the church (500+ people) and the practice (small town doctor’s office) so yeah. At least 200. Probably more. Me (an introvert): *dies on the church carpet*

[@giannag4917]

Put your foot down. Cap it. That is way too many people. It's your wedding

[@TheUnveiledBride]

Megan Kirkendall Oh no! My suggestion is to give her a certain number of people she can invite (a number that you actually feel comfortable with) and then she can pick and chose who is the most important to her! If she really wants to celebrate with EVERYONE, maybe she can throw a separate celebration? That way your wedding day is comfortable for you but she can still celebrate you.

[@AlishaZuniga1028]

I'm so confused! I like what you said about who has had an impact on our relationship but then you said to invite all cousins 😥 I just can't do both lol I wish people didn't get offended and would just understand its about budget.. that would make this process so much easier

[@TheUnveiledBride]

LovinggLifee Having to invite your entire immediate family (especially if it’s large) is kind of an old school rule. Only invite the people you are close with, especially if you’re on a budget! It will be such a better experience for you guys and you won’t be stressed about trying to stretch your budget. Hope this helps 💕

[@AlishaZuniga1028]

@@TheUnveiledBride Thank you so much😊

[@ilya7314]

This was in my recommended.......I'm 13 (still watching it tho)

[@kasashaasreadingjournal3446]

I honestly don't care if I offend anyone regarding wedding invites 🤣 if they want to get offended, let them 🤣

[@AdrianaPerez-sx1fd]

I got no friends so my wedding is literally all church people and my family I literally only have 60 people coming but I really love this and I’m more informed

[@TheFearlessmo]

whew, this is youtube GOLD! Needed this!

[@brodee.morgan]

watching all your videos talking about how so many people don’t rsvp/how to save money on your wedding/things your guests dgaff about/etc. really makes me want to do e-vites instead 😂😂

[@sydneymoose1041]

My fiance and I are considering just sending out evites that have an optional box that people can check off if they want to receive a physical copy. That way we save a bunch of money on stationery and the only people that will be receiving a copy are people who will for sure want to keep it.

[@melaniethorne9396]

I love your videos! Can you do one on how to make a seating chart without hurting feelings? Like who should be at the head family table and who should be at other tables?

[@Jemgirl152]

Your hair is awesome! You are my new favorite youtube person. So much good stuff!!

[@rosieraptor1093]

Can you do an update on this video but for micro weddings? Like if you want a suuuuper small wedding how do you pick who comes?

[@laurapickering2002]

I started stressing about my guest list, as a friend I haven’t spoken to over a year called me out of the blue last week! I didn’t even consider her as I haven’t spoke to her! Thank you for the tips!

[@nytashakay8994]

I literally watch these videos and I’m not getting married ANYTIME soon. But I love them. I feel they’re VERY informative and helpful for of the time ever arises

[@midorielizabeth5162]

My rsvp response date was yesterday and I have about 100 people I haven’t heard from. 🙄 time to chase people.

[@marisolsoprano]

Tell them you won't have a seat for them if they don't RSVP. See how fast they'll respond. 😂

[@michaelab6070]

The only problem I have (more like a respectful disagreement, really) is about the parents paying and therefore they have a say about who's going. My boyfriend and i aren't even engaged and his mom told me that if shes helping pay, then she gets to invite friends and my mom doesn't. It rubbed me the wrong way because 1. My boyfriend and I are pretty private people and therefore aren't going to invite a lot of people anyway (like 50-60 max and that's mostly family) and 2. Because someone gifts you money, I don't think that it's fair for them to tell YOU how to spend the gift they gave you.

[@starbursthobbit]

It's your wedding invite whoever you want.

[@sabaducia]

Yeah we have a similar strategy for kids, and extended family, etc. Family children are invited, but not other kids. Plus ones for family, wedding party, single invites (i.e. know no one else) and interstate guests. Co-workers who are local and were on the maybe list, will be invited to view the ceremony from the gallery.

[@TamaraJayne85]

My favourite videos to watch each week! Yay

[@src4409]

It really isn't always this simple. When we told people that we were engaged they just assumed they were invited. Started asking all of the questions like when it is and where. We're doing no kids under driving age. We have some kids that are not well behaved in our family and I'm not spending 55$/person for then to hate the food. My kids will be there even though they are under the age limit. I just flat out told my family (after they assumed they were bringing the whole family) that 25 kids added over 1k to my budget. No kids. I've never been to a no kids wedding, but I have been to weddings that my kids were not invited to. It really isn't that hard to get a sitter most of the time.

[@skyecuteclouds]

OMG THANK YOU. Upcoming wedding. Lots of people ... :D You help SO MUCH

[@taylabear15]

It was easy for me deciding on who I was going to invite. Only close friends and family, and it was only certain family members. There are just some family members that I don't really care for, I invited some aunts and not their sister. Or invited their kids and not the parent, it really didn't bother me.

[@m.x.b.9949]

Not even close to ever being married, got so much time, but love watching these videos

[@shadiamakaeil9879]

Ok so I have to ask... what do you think of “Crash the wedding” invites? I do have a lot of guests that will be leaving early since they are older, we are paying for an open bar and do want the party going after dinner. There are also old work colleagues that I would love to invite since they are great fun but the rules to an Italian wedding are that you pay your plate and not too sure if they would want to shell out the 130$ per head cost. How would you word that on an invite 😂

[@rebelgirl711]

My friend and her husband did this, but without formal invites - just used verbal/a phone call. If the people you're "inviting" won't be offended, and your venue doesn't care, I'd say go for it!

[@carrieislost]

Hopelessly single and yet I can't get enough! I've been binge watching your whole channel lately.

[@kairinaminemix]

I have a ton of cousins and uncles and aunts that I would never invite to dinner and pay for, BUT my parents are basically gonna punish me if I don’t invite them 🙁

[@samanthak3531]

Jamie, where have you been the last year of my life!!?? I wish I would have found your videos a year ago. Now I am about 8 weeks away from my wedding and we are basically done!!

[@gaiasiragusa8962]

Ow 😍you was so excited about the 10k and look at you now babe ❤️😘

[@mirsey93]

With the kids or no kids dilemma, we have 2 kids of our own. They're going to be 8 and 4 at the time of the wedding. So I was thinking of compromising. Kids over 4 are ok in my opinion because 4 year olds have been around long enough to be able to take instruction and discipline. And toddler/babies won't be allowed unless they're close blood relatives. With RSVPs I'm thinking of having a follow up with everyone within a few weeks of the deadline. And also I like the guest list to be more specific. Start with a list of everyone we would like to be there. First list is who absolutely needs to come. Close family, close friends. Second list is who we would like to be there but we don't need* them there. Secondary relatives, friends of the family. And third list is who we can get rid of all together in our original list. By the time we're done, we'll only have the first 2 lists. And we'll know who to invite if anyone from our first list cancels. I'm very organized but also an overthinker so I need to see absolutely everything before I completely rule something out.

[@babymac1379]

Mireya Seymour this is exactly what I was thinking of doing! Sending out the invites in “waves” since our limit is 100 including caterers and such...

[@AngelaCoffman]

These are some great ideas! Our daughter helped a friend clear a field for her wedding and loaned folding tables for it. Then didn't get an invite. It felt a little icky. We're trying to thinking of everyone when it's our turn, but it can be hard to get it perfect.

[@Jeanniedoes]

Literally trying to finalise my guestlist... Thank you so much for this video 😭❤️

[@silviocolella3308]

I know who I'm inviting. I'm 19 lol and Italian. My cut off line is nothing over my parents first cousin's & spouses who live in town. And relatives of my close uncles who have attended every occasion. Then a few friends

[@shortnsweet1413]

I straight had a small wedding of 33 guests and I still didn't get a 50% RSVP rate 😂😂 Probably the hardest part of planning a wedding is the guest list. It's exhausting. I feel for people with 100+ guests because I had a small one and still had to do quite the dance trying to figure out who's sitting where , who can't sit by who (like trying to keep my divorced parents on separate sides of the room haha). As a small time wedding coordinator, I LOVE your content! You're seriously my spirit animal/inspiration!

[@TheUnveiledBride]

Stephanie Oswald Why is it so hard for people to RSVP?! 🤷🏼‍♀️ Hahaha no matter how easy you make it for them. At least you don’t have a huge list to call though!

[@shortnsweet1413]

@@TheUnveiledBride Yeah it's crazy!! Not sure why...but yes at least it was a smaller list! Haha

[@frostbittenskater995]

My parents aren't gonna even be in my wedding 'cause they don't support me and my fiance. So that makes it much easier as far as who chooses who we're inviting. Lol ultimately only a few family members, if any, are gonna be there. Otherwise it's all friends and coworkers and people who actually care. 😊

[@chloegilroy8422]

Here in Ireland there is a new trend happening, because families are so big with sometimes 40 cousins on each side, only one cousin along with their parents is invited to weddings. It's not a massive trend yet but I can see it growing in popularity as time goes on. Love your videos and look forward to them each week x

[@chloegilroy8422]

Not even the biggest family around 😂 40 would be fairly average for cousins here. Any suggestions for wedding day photos? Outside the normal ones I mean, my youngest sister was born on my birthday (Pippa my youngest sister, I'm Chloe 😊, setup KZbin account on my phone and I'm stuck with it ) and id like to do something with her on the day? 😊x

[@FinancialMatter]

I wish I had parents that could pay for my future wedding 😢 this was so helpful btw! 🥰🥰

[@JeniseLaVonne]

I have been loosing my crap stressing over my guest list! Thank you so much for this video!!!!

[@lynnwanjohi557]

Since I started watching your videos I've slashed my guest list,budget by almost 40%