Why a narcissist undermines your judgment

[@rolltide7120]

You don't just talk like other therapist, you actually understand and can relate with your clients

[@imsunnybaby]

i love him so much. him and patrick teahan are invaluable to me

[@taraarrington2285]

He gets it.

[@ChrisMeadows1992]

@@imsunnybaby I would give you a hug if I could. Patrick and Jay are the two NA experts on KZbin who really stayed with me. They gave me the tools to help me find my salvation.

[@imsunnybaby]

@@ChrisMeadows1992 theyre amazing

[@DavidFraser007]

I suffered for having my own opinion as a child, not only derision, but physical violence. I learned to keep quiet. Looking back, my parents were jealous of others and just angry at the world.

[@samf.s.7731]

Yeah physical violence always followed even the most minor of expressions of individuality. It was insane. Honestly, mine were doing well financially and physically. They just are that way. For some people, they're too damaged to be fixed and they won't seek being fixed. They liked it, it felt good...

[@terridillon3053]

Gaslighting! The Narc abandoned you long before you ever see it! Trust in the God in you! 💕

[@CP-pe9ul]

Loss of attachment to the parent is only one punishment, couple that with beatings and you've entered a new strata of pain.

[@1RPJacob]

4:40 eg: parent sees a child as a loser, the child must agree with it, and proves to the parent that parent is right.. every day.

[@mosim9691]

@Rafal Jot. The narc parent sees himself or herself as a loser & projects that onto the child so that the child believes oneself to be a loser.

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Yup, and then when they grow up and escape, people are like "what's wrong with you?" and they have to try and unlearn everything they learned.

[@amandatarkington6877]

@@mosim9691 My mother even called me a loser at the dinner table On Christmas day. (And no one said a thing!) That was my last Christmas with them.

[@10Hags5]

​@@amandatarkington6877sorry

[@carolyn7682]

I’ve spent my life agreeing with people and if I don’t agree I usually keep it to myself. I am fearful of stating disagreement because I expect it to cause abandonment of others. This stems from early training having to agree with both narcissistic parents.

[@3mrabbit]

I remember going to my friends up the street's house to play. They were twins and lived with their mom and she was so chill and invested in them, their happiness and creativity. They had a play room with a chest full of clothes to dress up in, and I remember always asking over and over, triple checking, even asking the twins can they ask their mom for me to be for sure if I was allowed to try on the clothes to the point where the mother would be like "???? I said yes, you don't have to ask!" I was terrified I would be in the middle of putting on clothes and be "caught" and humiliated with some variation of "take that off" or "no one said you could put that on" or "what are you doing!!" or "stop doing x can't you see they don't want you to do that??" or "you look silly" and the avoidance of shame was paralyzing. I was always shocked at what was innocent that they would let me know so hostilely and abruptly I "wasn't supposed to be doing or thinking" or how "you didn't even notice how much they didn't want you to be there/how you looked/*anything negative" I even remembered sitting in front of the chest box filled with paralyzing anxiety about even being seen reaching out to open the box for fear I would touch it and someone would "catch me" and make me feel like "who told you you could do/wear that??" or stupid for thinking I was welcome or comfortable to have fun or enjoy myself or be comfortable, period. I was afraid I would get shamed or get the look of disgust for and be embarrassed for assuming I was human and worthy enough for me to be myself. I knew it was ridiculous, but I still couldn't let myself ever be comfortable accepting kindness or fun sponsored by someone else without being hyperaware of myself and if my instinct would disgust or irritate or cause someone to give me that "who do you think you are??" vibe... Now that I know I wish I could go back and hug little me. I used to think I was a narcissist, but now that I'm my mom's age when she had me, I can't wrap my mind around how cruel she was and how bitter, childish, and sadistic she still is/can be.

[@stephaniejohnson2430]

I can totally relate to all of your self consciousness and the crazy tapes that played in your head as a child!

[@jwhite5396]

I’m so sorry for the trauma your mother put you through. I remember being dumb silly with a friend in front of my dad. He gave me the dirtiest most disgusted look. It felt like a punch to the chest. It could only be funny if he thought it was funny. And only for the amount of time he deemed appropriate. He’s always been an a$$. Give yourself a big hug and go do something silly fun. 😊

[@gwenr1213]

Lots of hugs to little you. We all need to embrace our inner child

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Yeah…. Cruel mothers…. You’re grown up now. I know what you mean. As an adult I’d buy something “good” from my hard earned money, agonise over buying it and then feel fear that was a deep rumbling about using it. It’s what you describe…. I think knowing and knowing others who know is a big step in the direction of healing. Compassion to you and all here 💜

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Gabrielle keep hugging that little girl on the inside. Make a big picture in your head- maybe imagine your twins friends mom is your godmother. Whatever works our imagination is a gift. A person can have narcissistic behaviours from a very hurt part of them and it is not their intention to be cruel or dominate. I saw this in a sibling. He would be unkind, unreasonable, difficult and then later get in a total heap but could never stand back, separate and say sorry and learn his triggers. He also got into a head space about “mom” that was absolutely removed from reality, especially that she is now old. And absolutely doing her twisted thing- just very differently- adapted to the circumstances. Sadly he had a very difficult tragic life, that ended a year ago. I think that when you recognise and name the cruel, deliberate nasty viciousness of a mother, one’s own mother and take it from your own the child’s perspective that this is a big breakthrough. Several trained professionals have asked me what was it that caused her be the way she is (not mentally ill, or addicted) when I was telling my story. Not looking at it at all from my perspective, the brutalised child, the mother with zero remorse etc. A starting point- you have described. It was cruel, horrible and wrong. This is the path to healing. The route mapped out by Dr Jay’s 3 Pillars. We are on the right journey. Go well.

[@koolbeans8292]

As far as I’m concerned every new person I meet is a narcissist until proven otherwise. I found out at age 59, almost 7 years ago that I didn’t matter. What a revelation! I realized it was the same old behavior pattern that I grew up with. It rocked me and the only way out was “no contact” with my aging parents ever again. And so far it’s working pretty good.! They haven’t had any new gossip about me for over six years.

[@alwaysrighton]

No one matters to them. Not even themselves. They come with that Guilt-Free Pass. Take good care. And live, and live again. And again !!

[@Uberqueenbee]

You and a couple of your peers literally have saved my life in these last couple of years. And certainly what was left of my sanity. Thank you is hardly enough

[@janettemartin4604]

Patrick Teahan is also VERY VERY good at breaking it all down!

[@uncleiroh0989]

Same.

[@Uberqueenbee]

@@janettemartin4604 one i follow

[@pavla2055]

'If I want your opinion , I'll give it to you' . Critical thinking or honest dialogue of any sort sends the narcissist into rage orbit .

[@louiseama00]

The way you articulate things is so impressive. It hits the nail on the head every time and paints such an accurate picture of what the experience is. Thank you for your videos.

[@antiprismatic]

Absolutely

[@pearpo]

Great process Dr. Jay thanks for sharing. 1. Reading/ hearing 2. Comprehension 3. Summarizing 4. Living and breathing into the interpretation of the work - Conversing 5. Transforming the work.

[@creatormom123]

So accurate . You're not allowed to have opinions or different thoughts than the narc parent

[@Cerdinok]

Scapegoat-- The person least responsible who is blamed for everything, even when he does not know what happened.

[@backyardfunwithsimone9213]

What a concept: "To be allowed to have an opinion". I am sad to say that I was/ am afraid to say my opinion. To not get belittled. To not rock the boat. To avoid another raging fit by my husband that scares our daughter and makes her cry in fear. To not get censored on KZbin. To not lose another friend. As human beings can we live together and hear each other's opinions without attacking or feeling attacked? Can we be open to sitting, breathing and living with others' opinions if they are different from ours? Can we learn anything if we think we know it all and are offended if someone offers more, new or different knowledge/ or an opinion? When there is a health problem people often search for second and third opinions to make sure they are choosing the "right" way for themselves to heal/ be healed. Even now I am terrified someone may not like what I wrote or feel offended. I am going to post this anyway, just to practice having an opinion :)

[@molly9518]

Thank you!! I am afraid, as you.. 🙃

[@gwenr1213]

Good job! I finally realize I chose a bad husband, emotionally unavailable and neglectful, because it was safer than being noticed and criticized. Do you think your husband is a narcissist too (I assume a parent was)?

[@backyardfunwithsimone9213]

@@gwenr1213 Yes, I am pretty sure he is a narcissist. I also picked him because of his emotional unavailability. He is also a mother enmeshed son. Ugh! I didn't know that til I stumbled over a few articles on this subject. He also recently admitted to me that he is watching porn regularly instead of looking to improve our relationship (physically and emotionally)...

[@Pukeyray]

I appreciate the observation that survivors have to learn that some opinions don't have to be their true north. We can trust our wishes and opinions to guide us and disregard those trying to mislead us. When being confronted with domineering and sabotaging people, being able to shake off their tractor beam of degradation is easier when we can know we don't have to defer to their poison-laced opinions.

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Criticizing someone is not necessarily "demonizing" them. The word "demonize" implies that the criticism is unwarrented. In the case of parents who choose to abuse their children rather than takeresponsibility for their own problems,criticism is absolutely warranted and is therefore not "demonizing ." Behavior is a choice. Abusing others is a choice . And people are responsible for their choices.

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

I told the emperor, emperess, and their flying monkeys they had no clothes on. Everybody did the DARVO thing, of course!

[@amarbyrd2520]

I think that's the hardest part -- when everyone else does the DARVO thing

[@janettemartin4604]

College was VERY freeing for me BUT I started to notice how the family was still undermining my efforts and how their tragedies kept interfering in ALL OF IT! (I LIVED AT HOME) I took a LOT of writing classes because I loved writing since I was young. BUT I started writing about abused children and my MOTHER found that threatening so she told me to STOP submitting poems about ABUSE to class. I did stop. THEN while in college in a creative writing/poetry class with a BRILLIANT Bronx's professor I was CHALLENGED! And I wrote my BEST poem EVER! I still disguised myself as the main character BUT a good writer and generally any smart person who could recognize subtext GETS IT! As always during this time my MOTHER was making me the ONLY other character in her DIVORCE from my DAD! NO ONE ELSE joined her in court! I was the SCAPEGOAT and her sacrificial LAMB and it never changed! But I was MORE and MORE pissed OFF because I HAVE STUDENT LOANS TO PAY BACK and I had to concentrate! My Dad was Irish Mafia and VERY threatening! My Mother told me CONSTANTLY that she thought he would BURN THE BARN DOWN and kill the horses! I stayed home because of the HORSES! Dear LORD what a tragic tale! And I had NO IDEA where it was leading because I had NO CONTROL over any of IT!

[@mosim9691]

Thank you! After all these years, I'm finally getting free! I'm almost 60 years old & don't know if I should cry because I missed out & didn't have the understanding; or if I should just relax & let life happen as I continue to learn & grow - I'm kinda afraid of how much more there is to unlearn. I'm so darn mad & disappointed by all that my narc father & codependent mom put on me that I must now contend with. I'm tired!

[@helenenorman3598]

God bless you. 🙏

[@InfiniteMindset99]

Just know that you are super strong & the beauty of authentic you is just around the corner!

[@carospereman3537]

@Mo Sim Better late than never. Don't be afraid, welcome every bit of it with open arms and let it wash away all that crap they laid on you. Remember Yoda saying to young Luke Skywalker, "you must unlearn what you have learned." Be patient with and have much compassion for yourself, the layers take time to peel away. Your negative emotions will fade too as you become stronger with your core identity. Much love to you and your healing.

[@koolbeans8292]

I finally caught on at age59, over six years ago. Then I went no contact with my aging parents, ladies. And my siblings because they were the flying monkeys. All sitting at the parents gossip table…….. without me. Not once have I changed my mind. They cannot share in my happy life now.

[@mosim9691]

@@InfiniteMindset99 OMGoodness! Thank you so much! This is so uplifting! I've taken a screen shot of your words for my electronic journal!

[@spartan1857]

I was always taught to write "in my opinion", or "assuming", or "from what I can see". There's a modern problem in modern day culture where this is no longer done, and opinion, assumption and falsities are being pushed as fact, even over other people's experiences (gaslighting). It's great to have an indpendent voice, 100%, but people can't discern now between their own view, opinions, other people's ideas, and actual events that took place. In fact people give up their own judgements for other people's opinions pushed as fact, by narcissists, or narcisstic teachers and leaders or authorities. But one's own judgement is vital.

[@Spitfireseven]

THIS HAS BEEN THE ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY MADE FROM YOUR VIDEOS! I DO TRUST MY GUT NOW,..... SELF TRUST,.. THE TRUE GROUNDING!!

[@aking3624]

Knowing my own mind was a constant struggle. My mother likes to suggest "we" do things i like. In reality, i had set a healthy boundary and then she would suggest her favorite activity to get me to cave.

[@lydsa9662]

For most of my life so far I never trusted my judgement. I would always look to others and ask them what they thought. I was extremely indecisive. Only in these past couple years am I able to trust my judgement more.

[@aronhighgrove4100]

You are calm, not looking to demonize, unlike many other videos about this topic. That makes it much easier to take what helps and leave out what not. You focus on what helps to get better (not abusers), thank you.

[@LINDONCOLLARD]

Very insightful. My Mother and my Wife both practiced Narcissistic overrule of my judgement and they were never right. I was forced into financially suicidal behavior, threatened with a "you will lose all your assets to legal fees" divorce by my Wife.

[@villalobosregina]

We’re you scapegoated yourself? You really understand the inner workings and pain people like us have endured ❤thank you

[@bonniewinfield3148]

I loved this video! My junior year in high school, my English teacher assigned a paper about the novel we were studying, that the cold blooded execution of one of the characters by a commoner was entirely appropriate, even though the murdered man had never been brought to trial. I was horrified to hear that the entire class agreed with our teacher, that the justice of law was unnecessary, that the justice of revenge was the equivalent of the legal process. Our teacher made it clear that there would be repercussions for any student who disagreed with her. So I wrote in my paper exactly what she had taught, that the law was unnecessary when revenge was appropriate. Perfect! Then in parentheses I included, “I know this is what you wanted me to write, but I don’t believe a word of it!” She gave me an A.

[@phoenixfire2445]

I've heard the idea that reclaiming your health, discipline and focus can sort of revive your vagus nerve, which I've also heard some liken to that "gut feeling." I felt inspired by a new beginning in which I recognized the prospect for marriage with a woman who seemed to be there in my life all along. I became my own ultra disciplined ideal for about 5 months, but the clarity I gained over that period begged many questions as to what was not right about my commitment to that person(in a long- distance relationship) as well as my commitment to the rest of my "support system," no matter what my dedication. So, if you revive and recallibrate your physical and cognitive abilities, you might find that your awakened "gut feeling" is dissatisfied with whatever overall circumstances you've mistakenly committed your attendance to, after inheriting those relations/commitments from your previous confusion.

[@annewoods3528]

I can't overstate how valuable and important the messages Jay has provided through this channel and his website. Coming from a Chinese background where parents are gods, I just know there are so many buried bodies of soul murder like narcissistic abuse.

[@saxongreen78]

I feel annoyed that I didn't cut harder when I moved interstate 20 years ago. I had not moved all my stuff yet (a few vintage car parts...rare items) and was working to save enough to have it transported...told them that's what I had intended. They _threw them into a scrap bin._ I was _expected_ to suck it up and acknowledge that I 'should have moved them sooner.'

[@ginnimcc8800]

Thank You, such an important factor to understand for Scapegoated Children to be able heal. - I think it's fundamental, in Scapegoated children being able to have a voice and to claim their right to their voice and ultimately to who they really are. In my own experience, this targeted 'tearing down' of my opinion has at times been so triggering and also disempowering and invalidating of my reality. It's like poisoning your ability to trust your own mind, instincts, thoughts, ability to make decisions and to trust them. Essentially it's like ' Breaking Your Connection with Yourself and even Your Spirit. Undermining Your judgement, is like undermining 'Who' You are. It's, "I know better than You, so I'll 'Tell You What To Think' and 'What Opinion I'll LET YOU HAVE! '. It's Toxic, and when it's done repeatedly, over many Years, can have devastating effects on your Sense of Self and potentially lead to a person not really even knowing who they are, at all. - An Undermining of Who You Are.

[@dancinginthepurplereign4126]

This is so interesting because I have been in a lot of cults in my teen years and early twenties. It's like I felt much safer in situations where there was one way of thinking. As I recovered from narcissistic abuse, I started moving away from cults and started to share my opinions and creativity through my comedy. Now I have my own opinion most of the time on current matters.

[@Mehwiche]

I find now on my path to recovery to listen to my gut when it's telling me to be vigilant around someone. But when it talks in a more positive way about someone, I tend to disregard as a mistaken thought. It's hard to trust both the positive and negative feedback from the gut.

[@speciabilitator]

I remember, as a child, being very independent, curious, bold, and confident. I expressed my thoughts and my opinions and was met with hell for it. Then there's a fuzzy time period, and then I remember as a young teenager, when it was really horrible with the n-parent, that I switched tactics (i.e. stopped speaking my mind) and started "making friends" with my n-parent by basically fawning all the time and (at least outwardly) agreeing with them on things and really catering to their every emotion and showering them with love and attention. I guess this was my way of surviving.

[@sandramurray5879]

Whenever I was asked what I wanted to do when I grew up by friends of my mothers, I would say I that I wanted to be an artist; an art teacher or a ballerina. This upset my mother and she would tell me, in future, if anyone asks you what you want to do, say something else. Also, if visiting her friends and I was offered a biscuit, I would automatically look at my mother and her friend would tell me not to do that. But at my age it is important to be myself and stop thinking that my opinions don't matter. What an insightful and helpful video. Thank you.

[@nickdesmone]

I’ve done a lot of healing around trusting myself / what I feel over spiritual teachers’ messages - many can cater to people who have been gas light their entire lives to convince them that they are “more connected to God” than you are and I realized this subconscious giving of my power and discernment away has its roots in narcissistic abuse - great video

[@taraarrington2285]

I think also that outsiders might see the child as the antagonist to the parent when in reality if the child says something is pink the parent is the one to say that it's blue or whatever.

[@carospereman3537]

You are spot on, AGAIN. Just wanna say thanks for doing your vids Jay. You are helping so many people understand what the hell happened to them. You are an Angel is disguise. Much love to you and yours.

[@jw911]

I told my mother that she thinks she is infallible. This video is spot on! Wowww!!!

[@AGhostintheHouse]

I did the same thing to my mother and she instantly accused me thinking I was infallible.

[@AndreeaT3003]

I am so grateful I found your channel. I listened to a lot of your videos and it feels like you really understand me and I don’t feel so alone. Your videos give me hope. Thank you so much.

[@keithstewart7514]

I find your inclusions on both levels as either a parental or married to person concepts shows clear articulation for EITHER survivor's point of enlightenment... Thank you!

[@ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500]

I dont think my parents have undermined my judgement. I have learned that my decisions can have a horrible efect that cannot be undone. This is why depended on an 'expert opinion'. This used to be my mother. I remember always seeking advice. I evolved into a person relying on the opinion of a trusted guide. I doubt myself easily. This is why people USE my condition for their own gain. Trying to control me by shaming. I need to learn to be fine and indifferent when people get angry if i do not act as they have hoped.

[@CS-rb4qi]

As always, so articulate and spot on.

[@ifyourepeatalieoftenenough8500]

Thank you for your knowledge.

[@jeannined7532]

You speak truths I didn't even know I needed to hear. Without loving mirroring from a parent, I was never really able to find the words within myself for the lies that were being told me. Thank you so much. I can tell you've been through the wringer too. You have no idea how much you are valdatng others who have had similar experiences.

[@kevinmasterson5733]

Right on the money once again. When I first started therapy years ago, my therapist asked me what I liked and my response was "I don't know." My process is still at times one of discovering what I actually think and feel. I just got a new Al-Anon sponsor which has been liberating. The relationship ended with my last sponsor when I would no longer agree to just go along with what his idea of "recovery" was. Any type of recovery/therapy that does not have the client feeling safe enough to honestly express their wants, needs, beliefs is not therapy, it is toxic and can be abusive.

[@missjaszmine1968]

You are extremely knowledgeable. Thank you so much for your expertise and insight. It's life saving.

[@angelabrainky7786]

Thank you.

[@CatDuvalNineLivesYoga]

I am so grateful that you are doing this work

[@HoustonsPsychicMedium]

I appreciate you and your approach to self healing. Thank you for that Jay!

[@alt_jaay6799]

Please keep doing this videos. It helps so much to make sense what we went through ❤️

[@MichNative01]

Good video, we will work on this!! My husband was a scapegoat under a malignant narc...we are learning to take back his life, this exercise looks like a good tool for his toolbox. Thanks Jay!!

[@funanimalsounds]

Very helpful, thank you.

[@3nrika]

I can see why the example you gave stuck with you. I got a sense it'll stick with me as well!

[@juliemickens1697]

I really enjoyed your anecdote about the book report vs the analysis. It was especially helpful how you didn’t only offer the analogy but described how you had a breakthrough as a young man with this professor in college.

[@cindysmith1700]

Yes. I too thought I was a narcissist. I am sorry and I am sending your small person a hug

[@johnjohnstone9805]

Mine Own Opinion Got Lost Somewhere. Sometimes I Feel Like If I Can't Get Someone To Agree With Me My Opinion/Judgement Is Not Real. Not Legit.

[@uncleiroh0989]

I remember how hard it was for me to write essays in college. I never knew what it was at the time. I would think in a constant loop about what I thought the professor would want me to write so that I could get the best grade which would then mean that my dad MIGHT love me. I would spend 8 hours in the library trying to desperately think of things to write but nothing would come to me because no one had ever allowed me to think original thoughts. All I could think of was what was written in the book and what my professor had said. I never knew that I was allowed to have my own opinion on the topic, and I think that's what my professors were looking for. Thank you for sharing your experience with that and for explaining the overarching reasons for this. It really opened my eyes. I've never felt this seen before.

[@karasmusic123]

I would just tell myself: "When I'm around them, I'm just going to be "acting" & pretend to agree with their opinions somewhat to keep the peace". But with my real friends and others, I would be my authentic self. It helped me stay sane. In my private time alone, i would explore my own interests to the best of my ability.

[@InfiniteMindset99]

Super Spot On Jay!❤😊

[@somethinggood9267]

I've always been such a huge fan of the emperor's new clothes, I even have a little copy of it I keep on my night stand. That book spoke to me as a child, and it speaks to me as an adult. I find the moral of the story able to explain a lot of society's behaviors. It was cool to see you use it in this video! Thanks for the video :)

[@relationshipcompass1445]

Very well said. I’m very grateful for your perspective on this topic.

[@Lotuslaful]

Thank you Walking through this now It’s very helpful

[@ginnimcc8800]

P.S. This undermining of your judgement also sows the deep seed of future Self Doubt. Just another thing for the Scapegoated Child to contend with. 😕

[@taliajournee212]

This is why I loved university sooo much. It was me using my own brain and thought to for opinion about history and literal works. Up until that point you are basically being told what to do/think. I've always been a critical thinker and I think it's rattled certain members of my family.

[@marekm9647]

Thanky you! As always - great help.

[@Spitfireseven]

I had no idea you were going to get into intellectializations. It has given the subject an extra texture. This is not child abuse. It could have been student abuse. It wasn't. How amazing it is this teacher was able to go through thirty papers and give thirty students a heads up on these papers. This is a cool different video with a more sophisticated slant. GREAT!

[@axislivedotorg]

This is a lot like how a cult works too

[@clairewillow6475]

Definitely, cult leaders are narcissistic and often also psychopaths (antisocial personality disorder)

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Thank you Jay. Very helpful story about the history lecturer and critical analysis essay

[@Uberqueenbee]

💔

[@Uberqueenbee]

Slowly healing.

[@dark7angel456]

I find i go back and forth with myself and deadend... Not trusting myself when i have to or should of. I had to DISLOCATE so many times when something bad happens and i feel that dreadful feeling.

[@yl5020]

Fantastic👍🏽

[@RippleDrop.]

The first four questions hit me. Thanks.

[@limitedtime5471]

Your work is so important. Thank you

[@alastairjamesmainland2497]

Brilliant Description can so remember thinking of The Emperor on many occasions.

[@jmfs3497]

I feel like I trust myself, believe in myself, love myself, etc... but find the non-stop distrust, disbelief, and contempt from an OCPD/NPD manager exhausting. It seems so irrational. I work to live in defiance of the NPDs rules, but I really want to completely let go of caring anything about this person, regardless of the power dynamic. The challenge is not wanting to quit my entire field of experience in order to work around healthier people. I am trying to stop wishing that NPD folks weren't so good at climbing ladders into those positions of power to reinforce meaning in their life.

[@emilianolopez4289]

Thank you for this video. I loved it.

[@samf.s.7731]

Yeah this is perhaps one of the "weird" things. Even if you're not even interested in whatever they're on about, they require your opinion, and require that it expresses solidarity with theirs. You are the walking talking doormat that they can use whenever they want to "feel good". If you agree, they still wont let you be! They'll find something else and demand that you agree... Good luck escaping that, there is no escaping that.

[@y.e.s520]

What do you recommend for someone who needs specialized help who is isolated without help?

[@AllahsServant12]

We don’t need help. We love to isolate. It’s the happy place for us. And no we’re not lonely

[@worldsyoursent.1635]

🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@pearpo]

Opposition Research is so 1952-1968

[@janettemartin4604]

Jay I cannot get the book for free! PLEASE make it easier to get!

[@DebbieLee-dr3hr]

You must have been the clown.

[@julianal.573]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💐

[@streaming5332]

Dissatisfactory..... ? Unsatisfactory

[@SoniaSonia-qw1zo]

Yep 😂

[@RippleDrop.]

Jay Reid, I love your content. It's helpful BUT you are spreading false information, according to me, that there's only 1 scapegoat. All the kids are that when it suits the narcissist. I understand you were the scapegoat, I had mostly other roles, but that too. Everyone is a scapegoat to a narcissist. The lost child and the clown are also very very lost in life.

[@DebbieLee-dr3hr]

I agree the differing roles the narcissist assigns are transferred at the will of the narcissist. But, I believe once the scapegoat, always the scapegoat. Elderly narcissists have collections of them.

[@ericeric463]

You may have felt some of the ratchet behaviour but you were not the scapegoat! There is always one that gets the scapegoat treatment on the regular!

[@CanadianBear47]

i think your assumption that the child who is willing to call the narcistic abuser out, does not live in a narcistic family from my own personal experience that is not true. cus i live in a very narcissistic household and i do call them out. i suppose this brings up for me why healthcare has the thin blue line mentality as in wont call out colleagues, and or will tho losing their jobs is apparently enough?