Why a Narcissist Will Block You

People will block others for several reasons. For a Narcissist, there are triggering events or motives.
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#femalenarcissist #narcissist #blocking #clusterb #toxicrelationships #personalitydisorders #mentalhealth

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

It's a gesture of superiority. It says "You are toxic and need to be blocked, I am the reasonable one who is cutting toxicity out of my life." It has a punitive core for sure.

[@boop79]

It’s purely delusional too

[@KrystalStarOlsen]

Yep.

[@hindwidad2723]

When the narcissist blocks you, it's as if the trash took themself out (them) they do us a favor by removing themselves

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You should spend more time working on yourself to find out why you wanted to be loved and validated by "trash" to begin with.

[@savinggrace5154]

As a long-time prey to this type of personality, you hit something very key for me. You said social media is where you "get your food." I've recently realized that as an "empath" having social media puts me on display as a "buffet" item for these predators. I now see social media as a breeding ground and tool being used against us. This furthers my decision to un-plug. I know some of my toxic exes (even the ones who play the block-unblock game) use my socials to spy on me. Just random check ins...hoping that I'll post how miserable my life is without them! HA! To the contrary, I am deeply at peace and striving! But it's been a portal from hell with a constant barrage of predators trying to infiltrate! 🤦‍♀️ Be careful out there y'all! Stay blessed 🙌 and guard your heart/body as your most valuable possessions!

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

I got bored of repelling them off, and deleted Social Media... Nobody can see my privacy anymore, so much peaceful :)))

[@KrystalStarOlsen]

Agreed. It is a narc breading ground and actual weapon.

[@surfshack2]

My ex threatened to block and delete but she never did. She definitely could compartmentalize people and things though and move on to other sources of supply. I am so relieved that i don't deal with any chaos anymore. What a relief. I very much appreciate my peace and quiet i have now. I appreciate it now more than ever. I don’t do social media anymore. At all. I’m done with it. I found other things to do, which is really cool when you can find happiness and have privacy. It is also me setting boundaries and healing by staying off the gossip train. The only social media outlet that I watch is KZbin. I like quite a few things on KZbin, I find it interesting and private so that is the only media outlet I use.

[@denisenoles3159]

I appreciate this rough, rugged, and raw explanation! I am an empath but once I know that someone is for sure trying to play me, I go to the other end of the spectrum. He 100% gives zero fucks about me and I 100% give zero fucks about him so that's that.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

You are a treasure! Thank you. 💗💖💥

[@elsie8966]

I've been blocked 17 weeks. He had all my money and was chasing his ex. I wasn't allowed to be upset by it. He really wasn't who I thought he was. I guess I'm staying blocked lol

[@tovenrvik6336]

Thanks for sharing, interesting and appreciaded ‼️👍

[@shlok699]

Why should you care? It is a blessing 🤣

[@1deep7]

Love your vids learning a lot

[@sw9bangbangboi]

😂 Dayum, you keep it all the way 💯

[@dragonclaws9367]

Oh my gosh! I ❤ the chicken! I felt so sad that made me smile!

[@theraven1850]

Love the shirt!!!

[@madgesty76]

Man ! This makes so much sense now. I dated a guy who loved to make fun of me in a nasty way and i ended it with him by telling him he really was a nasty piece of work. He said i was verbally attacking him and then he blocked me 😂 so basically now i know i shamed him . Its crazy the way he turned it around on me. I guess he wont be back after all !! Anyway.....great video. Thanks girl x

[@n0426]

The only closer you can have is by feeling pity towards them. Healing and moving on and never looking back or feeling sorry for something that is not your doing. Look forward to your own future and life goals. They like the way they are that’s why they never really change. They can deal with themselves and process their own shame. Instead of making you their sacred scapegoat. Be the happy baby goat that escaped. 🐐 ♥️

[@rudolphguarnacci197]

Social media. The bane of civilization.

[@rachgrigg2447]

100%, I deleted mine. Best fucken thing ever

[@cof...]

So I am someone with strong narcissistic traits and I have high empathy. I wanted to share my experience to let people know we all aren't going to block for "bad" reasons. Last night, I blocked a group of people that I trusted. I found out that they were gossiping about me, and even set up fun little manipulative games to see how I would react. Why did they do this? Because I am an unstable, narcissistic individual so what they are doing is apparently justified and I deserve it. I didn't hurt them. I was just "cringe" and had grandiose opinions of myself. I did not know how I appeared though until one of them talked to me about my narcissism a couple days before this incident. I am more self aware of my thoughts and feelings rather than how I act externally which is something I will work on. I blocked them because I was hurt, scared, angry, anxious, the trust issues came back, and I am ashamed of myself for being so cringeworthy, not because of me wanting to assert something or get back at them and whatever else. The only narcissistic thing coming out of this is that I feel superior to them because I am not a weak individual who would stoop down to their level and do this to others. Is that so wrong?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Don't worry about what other people think and do what's best for you. You're not being malicious protecting yourself.

[@boop79]

You can’t be a narc and have high empathy…

[@jackcphelps]

there is no worse punishment than not being allowed to talk to ME

[@stephybobo1991]

Spot on. He can stay df away from me.

[@bordy6420]

Thank you Sara for sharing all this info. As BPD (high-functioning they say) I have blocked just 2 ppl in my life: a non cluster B I dated for a couple of months. I ended things because from his standpoint I was being “toxic” giving him mixed signals. I took my part of responsibility, he was the first person I dated after a 17 year relationship. And I was very confused. But his words hurt me. However, months later he texted me back. In a blink of an eye I went into rage, split him. I booked him everywhere. Why are u back, since I am the toxic one? F* U! Later, I met this NPD. After 3 months he started triangulating me, and other abusive stuff (future faking). He was still in the love bombing (big time). I went into rage, tricked him, made him feel like a joke, and discarded him like he was nothing. He never blocked me, but went silent. Orbiting around my social until he saw a pic of me with another person, then disappeared. I asked my therapist why he wouldn’t block me, and she said because probably he wanted to be chased after. Then she asked me why I did not blocked him, and went full no contact. Afterwards, I did blocked him, deleted all the messages and pics. Because I want to recover. But I still feel guilty. It’s not like a want the relationship back, but I hate myself for the way I made him feel, and I am sad thinking that maybe I could have find a better way to end things, and suggested in a nice way to seek help.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Also, not blocking you after you raged on him, he might have been waiting for you to calm down and reach back out. But you posted that you moved on with another person so he left. NPD/BPD relationships are painful for both parties. If he was "still" smothering you with love and attention after the honeymoon stage had ended, he was obsessed with you. "Future faking" or did you guys get into a fight, he forget, or change his mind? Triangulation is his own insecurities of not feeling good enough and needs you to be jealous so he feels loved. Both narcissists and borderlines get triggered and react in hurtful ways. It's sad.

[@bordy6420]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEThe way it played out was by the book NPD/BPD relationship. It was just sick. Two children playing hide and seek. I can write in an email the dynamic if you think some insight may be of good use for the work you are doing (of course I can just provide the BPD standpoint); afterwards I watched a video by Sam vaknin and I could not believe that degree of relatability 😢

[@johnpeccerillo4747]

I was blocked after i told her don’t speak to me. She said no problem lol

[@danieladegan8106]

I blocked him on everything first but email, when legal stuff was gone I blocked him there too..didnt stop from having his mail sent to me for months

[@danielskyles6184]

After 40 years of marriage my wife told me ( I don't like you anymore ). Just like being in grade school 🙃

[@n0426]

LOL i loooove it. It’s like i’m using my phone now as a zombie detector. 🔫

[@dirka_dirka_mohammedalijihad]

Watching these videos really explains all the behaviors my ex had. She would call me a narcissist.... because I called out her BS. She would keep me off her social media (never had me as a friend), she would go through my phone and say I was cheating if I had a normal conversation with a female, she would delete and block these people during the phone snooping, she had her phone locked up the whole relationship, she would get fired from every job, always fighting with her friends, always made sure her friends never came around, I wasn't allowed to be friends with them either, she lied about being on tinder even when I seen her profile from numerous friends (the account stays active when you use it, I've had to Google it to see the truth).... I put up with this crap for 3 years straight and some how she would make me feel bad every time. She ended up telling a friend the crap she was doing behind my back and that friend got sick of it and told me and showed me the texts and proof. Even with all of that, she still denied it all. Its been almost a month now and I literally just wanna break something. She literally told this other girl that she's done with me now because I'm useless to her. I will never understand, no matter what the mental illness is, how someone can be so evil. I'm heart broken but I have anxiety of even venting to anyone or talking to anyone because she made me believe im a fucking loser and deserved everything I got and that nobody cares. What the fuck do I do to feel better? Ill never trust another female. I can't get over how insane the whole relationship turned out to be.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp7Ygqisr72NrpY This will help.

[@stephenherrington3549]

You just told my story. Wow. Like seriously... wow.

[@SiHulbert]

This is me for 7 years. Tapped into my co-op from childhood trauma. I feel destroyed

[@rodrigoprado6033]

Same here, from Brazil. That was my fourth time with a female narcissist. That is insane! ALL i wanted was to find a decent partner. Always got hurt. But the last 2 of them i was able to cut before more damage. But I was addicted to all of them. Unbelivable how good they are manipulating. I feel so stuppid cause they are so convincent at the love bombing phase. I love when they hoover because thats when I can get a little revenge. That is what I did this week. She started to try to control my drinking, even though I am not addicted. I heard what she Said, grabbed my clothes and left without saying a word. Than i send a message ending all. She didnt even answer. Got really mad and blocked ALL. The bad thing is that I still like that w*re. And will take long time to forget her. Sorry about my english 😅

[@jonastonismaa4983]

Same here

[@demetriuslester]

This was the game that my Ex ❤️ to play and it really became exhausting.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

HAHAHA!!! Stop acting like BPD is so much better than NPD. And you made the choice to reach out to her and her son. I said to jump ship on both for your own mental health and the child's. Nope. *sticks my tongue out at you. It's not click bait if I told you how to reconcile. Will it last? Nope. Did I say this? Yep. I also called y'all a masochist for trying.

[@demetriuslester]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Hold on! I was meaning when she got mad, that she used to block me. I haven’t tried to reconcile with her. I “USE” to watch your videos and call her to see how accurate your video was 🤣🤣🤣 I never wanted to reconcile…..and she had a daughter and not a son CBM 🤣🤣🤣 continue to grow!!!

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@demetriuslester That comment was for Streetcar! I apologize. HAHAHA

[@demetriuslester]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE 🤣🤣🤣 No Prob CBM ❤️❤️❤️

[@libraempress2069]

My ex narcissist would block me after a argument then unblock me 2days later. I saw him other day and it ended in a silly argument and I'm blocked now he hasn't unblocked me so far. I'm greatful 🙏🏼

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

What is stopping you from keeping him blocked? Why is he in control of the block button?

[@libraempress2069]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEyes I planned on blocking but he ended up blocking me so let's hope he keeps blocked

[@CrisCole2022]

I still don’t get this shame, could you make a video about that? If you feel shame, why not stop doing the things that brings shame? I wish I could understand how all of this started and why it’s so hard to stop it. Thank you so much for your videos it’s helping me a lot🙏🏻🙌

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp7Ygqisr72NrpY

[@nickhershey3358]

Maybe plays apart with having an impulsive framework, so the ability to plan ahead and recognize consequences etc...but also humans are so complex, they experience many layers all at once, so narcissists can experience triggers from past traumas, react in a state of emergency which can create tunnel vision (meaning they are only thinking about self preservation, and like a teenager, not considering the preservation of tribal members "no empathy.") but shame exist because they also have the layer that they wish they could do better, (because our human brain is designed to need our tribal members for survival,) but they are like drug addicts that can't stop their addiction, they struggle to stop behavior that brings both shame and simultaneously feels like a survival tool.

[@CrisCole2022]

@@nickhershey3358 The spiritual side of this explains everything. When you kill your essence and hate takes place the enemy take over that life and thats why its no empathy, no love, no compassion. That's why its no light!

[@Bo00si33]

My ex never let me have social media. This man got mad if he even saw emails that ig or Twitter would send me from accounts I totally forgot about! Controlling af...

[@slick5591]

A man not wanting his girlfriend to have social media and you declining shows more about you than him. Your mans program was good for a long relationship. Less outside influence. The less comparing you do, the better. Its just nature.

[@tramaynebright9286]

Ms. B you know you gotta do the unblocked version now

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

I'll post it tomorrow. LOL

[@vanjadordevic2882]

Haha, than i know. Shame! The other stuff you told was befor when we were toghether. So now is only shame 😊. Nice.

[@smileyglitter852]

He didn't block me, but I think he'll create another one after the divorce. His side piece blocked me though lol.

[@gregorygrskovich]

2:18ish "these are the ones where we're not gonna hoover you back either" and then after the rationalization as to why because of being painted black and mad and blah yada dada @ 2:40ish, "now, you may be unblocked later" um.... my ex disordered person used to do this a lot, speak about something fairly absolutely and then next sentence say something weakening that absolute statement or even completely contradictory of it. So which is it, "no hoover fo u" or, "um maybe hoover when I'm not mad any more after my next relationship or two falls apart"?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Whatever we want. LOL

[@gregorygrskovich]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE touché

[@AnnGabriel94]

Hello, Cluster my ex-narcissist has been blocked for a year now. I don't know if it was because I told him that I appeared to be a narcissist but in that he applied Gaslighting Amnesia to me and as if I hadn't existed anymore. She only left me on social networks in one to her added mother and a friend of her added to my profile, but I don't know if she wants her to apologize to me for unlocking me because I don't understand and she has me restricted on social network on other networks if she blocked me so as not to know about me. She just told me that he was very insistent and I just wanted to be empathetic but I don't know maybe I bother her that she has labeled her as unfaithful since she had told me that she had met a person and then from there she put me in silent treatment until possible I ruled out but I don't understand. I am new subscriber on your channel

[@Ipdex]

Brutal..

[@briteidea08]

I blocked one of my exes. Took me some time to realize what type of person she was. She liked answering my phone while I wasn’t around. Told my one female friend to stay away. My most recent ex blocked me on IG for a few weeks. I’m pretty sure I know why. But it was petty what she posted after she dumped me.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex. The emotional connection will have one of you catching feelings. Your relationship is supposed to be between you and your partner. Also, if your friend does have a secret crush, she could sabotage the relationship with her advice.

[@briteidea08]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE ehh…. All my lady friends are married. My most recent ex had singled male friends. One or two of which I think talked her into breaking up with me.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@briteidea08 I was married and emotional affair with “friends.” Many NORMIES also have affairs with friends they share their pain with. It’s understandable bc they feel their feelings validated for the first time. This is why people crush on their therapists of the opposite sex.

[@briteidea08]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Rarely do my lady friends and I see one another. My ex on the other hand.Soon as she dumped me. She was back out hanging with her guy friends.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@briteidea08 Yep. Double Standards. We exploit others for our own needs to get met. So we see others as doing the same thing.

[@saraliburd7752]

The nex blocked me out of my FB page…..can’t access those people….

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You're going to have to start an ALT account with a new email address.

[@OO-hs3he]

Like you said you can idealize a person and then suddenly perceive him as nothing, I have this too. I'm not a narcissist, but I'm what's called a narcissist' narcissist which means that once I know someone is a narcissist, I start playing their game and I can play it better than they do because I'm smarter and I know how they think. There are a lot of narcissists in the world, and if you don't use them, they'll use you. You need to be smarter and get everything out of it while there's a lovebombing phase. When it comes to people with NPD, you have to put feelings aside and think purely logically and practically - as long as he believes I'm playing by his rules, he'll give me what I want. When I want to get rid of him, I start pretending I fell in love and he starts ignoring me and thinking that he won, that he broke me. While I enjoy the freedom of getting exactly what I wanted and I will have peace from him for a long time, if not forever. Their energy is low, I use them for a maximum of a month, I can't stand it any longer. It's always a relief for me when they starts punish with silence treatment. Thank you for your videos ❤️

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

So what you're saying is you abuse mentally disordered people and call it a game.

[@vedrancy]

hahahahaha

[@healwithjaime6730]

I understand the rationale here. Many people who consistently attract narcissists learn their behavior, just as they learn the behavior of the abused. Its a defence mechanism for you like their behavior is for them. It always confuses me when people who abuse, are so enamored by the defence mechanisms of the abused. It just makes the disorder that much worse. Even in the threads of their infantile and inhumane treatment, they still get upset that you defend yourself. Downright laughable and truly tragic. Just woah.

[@racheltania2464]

Blocking seems clear, but blocking and unblocking and blocking and unblocking..that's what gets really dizzying.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Think of it as a toddler opening and closing a door. Hard. Lol

[@racheltania2464]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE OMG yes, exactly. Except of course he's a grown man and has been doing this in the same cycle for a year. Normally, I have to be the one to run after him and smooth things over, even though it's never because of an actual fight or anything too major. This time, I left him with a voicemail apologizing for whatever I may have said to upset him, and am just leaving it there. He can say hi or not..but I mean, at some point you need off this carousel from Hell, right?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@racheltania2464 Remember, an apology is saying “I’m sorry for whatever I said that upset you.” A real apology is saying that you understand that what you said hurt and taking full responsibility for why you said it. Example: I’m sorry I was mean to you during our argument. I was scared you were going to leave me and I wanted to make you feel like you didn’t matter. I need to express my feelings in a healthy way and not hurt you because of my own insecurities. Don’t believe me now, I will show you through my actions that I can be a better communicator a less hurtful when triggered. The only problem is, most people don’t know how to apologize properly or really be aware of their negative behaviors to change them. People use an apology as a quick fix.

[@racheltania2464]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE This had been a text conversation, and my last words had been "Okay, heart emojis" as a response to him saying he'd text me later. It really can be that random and..random. It's how apologies can end up sounding a bit baffling and worded like "If I said or did anything to upset you, I'm very sorry and wish you would tell me what happened" or so on. Some people communicate nothing, ever. And then we want to dropkick them, but we don't because that would be against the law.

[@kierrajohnson6972]

This boy would literally block me just to see how long it take for me to notice i was blocked on Instagram. He would block my number for months then call me no caller id and pretend like everything was normal.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

When the anger ends, we don't have an attachment to those angry feelings anymore and just want to move on. I miss those days. LOL Now I have to talk everything through.

[@kierrajohnson6972]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE i WISH we could talk through things. Whenever I do try to get him to talk through his feelings he says it makes him feel physically sick and he doesn’t know why. Like in his stomach type sick.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@kierrajohnson6972 Anxiety. This is a real issue for us. It also can become extreme with paranoid thinking. I’ll even throw up or 💩 like I’m ill.

[@tinac6114]

The Narc in my life has a gf but wants me to be his gf too. We have a past history. I almost fell for it. But I was nagging him so much wanting his attn he blocked me on his phone but not FB. So I go on Fb & right there on his gfs page pops out at me a new selfie of them smiling like they're the happiest couple in the world! So to answer your thoughts on why they might not block you on social media is yes because they want to triangulate to hurt you! I blocked him & her so I don't look!

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

It's not just to hurt you. It to pretend that your rejection didn't hurt him when it absolutely did.

[@Diarrheagod]

Where did u get your shirt? ❤️

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

I have 100 t-shirts that I've collected throughout the years. I wouldn't even know at this point. Lol

[@Jackmcars12]

Also, if blocked in LinkedIn, or IG, I cannot block him. I wondered do some beat you to the block to keep another door open?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You're blocked so they can say that they left you. But it's going to mess with your noodle if you get unblocked. That will be you opportunity to block back.

[@Jackmcars12]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE So far, that I know of, in private mode he viewed my boring LinkedIn (his exact location) at 11:00 PM, 3:00 AM, 5:00 AM, & 7:00 AM (so far), it will be more. If blocked, why does he keep viewing me? I can’t block him either under some account in private mode, wish I could. I appreciate you, I’m sorry you have to take this condition on, I love your videos, and you are so pretty, and funny.

[@Jackmcars12]

You’d be shocked what he did to me behind my back that I caught him do. I left him first, then he called I love you he tried, then texted love you babe, that was Jan 2022. We talked after, then he tried to act like he got rid of me. 🙈 lol I’d love to share all he did, do you video chat? Some outrageous behavior, I loved him too. A major lying one lol He did posts aimed at me too lol

[@Harv3st]

Being in a relationship with a narcissist while also myself having abandonment issues with my mom appearing in my life open arms for like 3 months and then dropping off the face of the earth like 4 times in my entire life as a kid was fucking awful. Literally the girl blocked me this month. And I handled it so bad, tried to contact her any way I could. I am a wreck. I don't know if she is ever coming back. She did before, but idk now. I think I was just secondary supply. We were friends for 3 years, would just be heavy heavy flirting, then she would get distant, then come back with heavy heavy flirting. We got into a dumb argument, she blocked me and came back a few months later. Then heavy flirting, then we actually got romantic, lasted all but 4 months. Then bam. Off to the next dude, keeping me on the shelf, not letting me move on. And even with her blocking me now. She said I don't deserve answers.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Your pain with the girl is rooted with your trauma over your mother. You don't care about this girl. It's your triggers with you not wanting to be abandoned. You also enjoy the attention you receive when the girl shows up bc of neglect from your mother. You lack boundaries with letting your mother return when ever she pleases and it's transferred over to this girl. You don't have a relationship with her. You are being used when she's bored, just so she can feed off of your attention. When you understand this, you will hold strong with that block button. You will stop chasing people to love you and work on your own inner brokenness. Check our Tim Fletcher's channel on You Tube about childhood trauma and codependency. I promise it will help.

[@Harv3st]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Think there is a chance she comes back once the relationship with this new supply inevitably ends? I got allot more in shape since she was seeing me. Would always be the first to view my snapchat and facebook stories. Unfriended me on facebook first saying "Its because of the pictures you post". When I asked what that meant, she refused to elaberate, making my head spin. And would just breadcrumb and say these questionable things that would mind fuck me into thinking she is still interested. She used to say I would get another chance someday, and all this other shit. But when she blocked me, and I kept trying to contact her. I just had a few questions I wanted as closure. If she hates me, if she thinks the blocking is forever, and if I should still have her do my piercings at her job, because a week before she was mad I was going to another shop. It feels like she purposefully tries to fuck with my head. When she ended it with me. A week before she shared all her deepest sexual desires and fetishes. Had me bring her to the sex shop where we bought allot of cool and exciting things. And then ended it within a week before we did anything with them. And a few months later she randomly asked me to help her download her fetlife (bdsm social media) photos for her, which were all sexual. It's just strange how someone you talk to every single day, goodmorning and goodnights and share so much with, just loves you hurting. When I never did anything to her but try to give my entire heart.

[@bigpeezy1748]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me saying things like I can't give her the life she wants, this is after the previous night I suspected her of cheating have no real proof of it other than some things I noticed that dident add up, then boom she breaks up with me the next day. She said she loved me and just wanted to be friends and even slightly talked to me days after the break up, then I went no contact for 2 weeks and seen she had a new boyfriend after 2 weeks then I messaged her saying she could have told me the truth and I wish her well and got blocked on everything, it's been a little over a month now and they are still together and I'm still blocked, what exactly happened here, should I expect a Hoover or what just happened?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

She had devalued the relationship way before you found out about her cheating. She will repeat the same cycle with the new person. If she unblocks you, that means she want you to reach out to her. Don't.

[@bigpeezy1748]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE how can you tell she devauled way before?

[@bigpeezy1748]

Also just found out her new bf blocked me on Facebook randomly not sure why that is either

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@bigpeezy1748 Watch my video “The Cycle.”

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@bigpeezy1748 I made a video on unblocking too.

[@stephybobo1991]

Every time he come near me I’m gonna shame him

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

No Contact would be better. You get angry, we believe you still care. I like that.

[@fantasiazplatkami]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE yes, any reaction shows a person cares, angry one even more

[@courtneysikes2952]

Why do they block us on the phone? lol

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Same reasons.

[@KrystalStarOlsen]

They block to make you the "crazy one" when it's literally THEM

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You're crazy if you harass them. Just block them and walk away.

[@KrystalStarOlsen]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE right. If we "chase" them by messaging and saying wtf! Why did you block me? 🥴🤦 But I get so mad and do this. Because it's literally so stupid getting blocked by someone who persues you and puts themselves in your life, only to block for seemingly no reason.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@KrystalStarOlsen There’s always a reason, even if it’s bc they’re bored of your “friendship” or you expect the same energy from them constantly. You become annoying. I’m just making assumptions from personal experience. Just never assume someone can keep up the same excitement over you indefinitely. That doesn’t even happen in healthy relationships.

[@stormycraig6133]

Can block to drink? Cause he doesn’t want me to know he is an alcoholic? Correct? I can’t live with one cause my dad is one and his dad is one. I won’t accept it.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Block to drink? Wtf does that mean? Break up with you so he can drink in peace?

[@Cararara1987]

I was seeing a man I think he was a naricisst, I ended up at the doctor's with a STD I texted him n told him, I got blocked, so I'm assuming that I don't ever need to worry about seeing from him or hearing from him again? He knows where I live etc

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

You are the only one that can keep the disease spread WhOrE out of your life for good. He shows back up, Block. Don't lower yourself to receiving any excuses. And PLEASE, DO NOT STALK YOUR EX on social media or allow any friends or mutuals (flying monkeys) to give you updates or correspondence from him.

[@rockybalboa4593]

Mine gave me two STDs twice two months back to back. Tried to blame me for the first one. I realized I had a second one after he discarded and blocked me. I used a texting app and got a new number. I absolutely slammed him and let him know about it. Definitely don’t think I’m going to be hoovered after that one. I was scathing and ruthless. He knows I know exactly what he is. I even mocked him for starting a new relationship with an STD since I’m sure he already gave it to the new supply he had lined up when he discarded me. Same pattern he had with me.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@rockybalboa4593 If the STD wasn’t treated, you still carry the virus.

[@karlz9162]

I confronted my date with her lies and then she blocked me 😅

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

A date? Harassment will get you blocked too. LOL Are you sure you're not just paranoid from your last relationship?

[@karlz9162]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Well... She saw me as a friend at the point of confrontation 😅. Anyway she lied alot and it was obvious that she only seeked attention from me, unfortunately. However you got a point too since I have trust issues after my ex left me for someone else. ☺️

[@elaineclewley4704]

I've been blocked by a covert because I declined his hoover Will he unblock me ??

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

There's no such thing as a covert (as a noun). If you are saying that he shows more vulnerable qualities to his character, he may unblock you in the future. Just block him back now. You rejected him. He may unblock you so he can punish you with your replacements.

[@jeremyarroyo360]

What if you block the narsistist first on everything. And then decide to txt then call you between 7-8 times?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Why did you block first? Narcissists were never able to express their emotions as children. If she has something to say, she's going to try to be heard. Another reason would be, "How dare you leave me FIRST!" Lol

[@jeremyarroyo360]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE cause I was getting fed up.with her crap she did some stupid shit. then try to act like nouthing happend the next day.sent me screan shots of the Bill's. Then told me her cousin ask. to give another chance to me then try to demand me if I dont call her she will keep moveing on.whe. she wanted me since we were around 12-13years old. Told my mom how she felt about me and would literally follow me to my classes and after school programs example one of martial arts classes. Then she signed up to join. Ranted about some shit I said I was gonna do but I was paying buying other things as well to help her. Now she play all this slit your wrist music time to time gospel quoats. I got a weird number call me not answer then hang up.then had the never to call me the narsistist when we had an arguement

[@ashleycasey2093]

Just dicovered your channel. You are god-sent. Anyway, I have a question....Is there such thing as a half-effort Hoover? Im queer (they/them pronouns) and ended things and blocked my diagnosed BPD/NPD ex (she/her pronouns) end of December, and attempted to cut ties with as many people I knew through her as possible. Before the time I went no contact, we decided to be “friends” after a year of screwing around in a mostly Monogamous dynamic, getting into a fight, her blocking me and then reaching out and apologizing. Yeah it was super toxic, I know I know. During this friend period, she continued to over step boundaries and basically wanted me to be her parent, until the adult tantrums, weed dependency, alcoholism and lack of empathy , lack of consistency with therapy, made me end things. When I blocked her, she reached out to me thru another person’s phone, and asked for a pair of cheap earrings she left at my apartment. I didn’t respond, blocked the number and dropped her things off. The only time I hear from her is thru our mutual barber, who continuously asks me every visit “when we’re getting back together?”. It’s been like 8 months. Wtf. Honestly I’d quit him and tried, but he charges $15 for a quality haircut which is Unheard of in my state, in fact I’ve checked and went to other barbers and they charge upwards of $40. Anyway, he seems to continuously give me updates about her even when I ask him to stop. Eventually he stops in the session, but picks up in the next session until I switch subjects. Over the months, He’s doing it less and less now and just asking about my current dating life (relief), But during this period of oversharing that literally just ended about a month ago, he told me that she “seems to be really making a change” through what she posts on Instagram….. doing things like gardening, and starting a self-help book club… these were things that I was into and even introduced to her as I was part of a community guarding organization for years and tried to get her to join, and had bought her self-help books to manage her cluster B traits, that she was refusing to read. Later I find out that she has started hanging out with a girl who I danced with at a party, and openly told her I had a big crush on. I eventually stop following this crush when the crush posted a invite for a “no boys allowed” all-girls lingerie party on her private Snapchat/Instagram. I found it really interesting because I was invited to a queer (quote) “no boys allowed” lingerie party by some friends just a month prior and posted a lot about it on Instagram. When I asked details about the party from the crush, I find out that it was my ex who was organizing it very abruptly and she asked the crush to help spread the word around (this is also how I found out that she was hanging out with the crush in the first place btw). So basically I was told that I would have to talk with the ex for details. Adding to the weirdness apparently it was also the ex who made the digital invitation flyer… using a only a pic of the crush in a fishnet for it…. Wtf. Anyway, I made a decision to stop following the crush so I won’t be updated on any of their activities but I was wondering if this is all a Hoover attempt? I’ve always had the suspicion that she was following me through another person’s account (as my account is private) for other weird coincidences that happened the first time we broke up and I’m wondering is this like a narcissist to do? I’m actually kind of sad that I had to stop following the crush for my own sanity, because she was really cool and she still follows me. Yikes.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Sounds like a Hoover to me! You have to get rid of all flying monkeys/mutuals if you really want nothing to do with her. You're making excuses to keep that from happening.

[@ashleycasey2093]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE No I am not making excuses. I ended contact with the Crush, I was just saying I was sad about it because I actually liked her and she seems like a cool person who I can't get to know anymore. The only person I think that could be considered a "flying monkey" is the barber, but its like I've already cut like 10 mutual people (some of who I actually like, and have nothing to do with her abuse) out of my life because of her, and at this point it seems excessive. I've known him for years, services are really cheap and I can't get a deal anywhere else. I'm a broke post-college kid. I read all the books, am dating, ect. but some of these rules like cutting off all your friends and family through the narcissist/borderline is not as easy to do irl.

[@ashleycasey2093]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Thanks for the reply, knowing makes me feel less crazy and I can go back to ignoring. Best wishes.

[@Tbone_Crusader]

Fantastic video Sara..keep up the good work:) Coud you give me maybe advice..I m in limited contact for two months by now..today she texted me for seein my son,and I agreed with timing..I just sent 'yes' reply..then she replied to me that she goes out of our town,and when she is back next day she bring son to my place..then I replied to her that 'I'm dont give a shit where do you go,only I m interested in timing of seein kid,and when does she want me to bring him back'..'other infos about where does she go is usseles to me'..then i felt a bit sorry cuz I was a bit toxic,evethough she did same to me..nevermind..I later text her that' I m only interested in her if she is in some extreme situation,or impeded danger,so i coud try to help or saving her..any kind of other infos where does she goes or some those small infos i dont need to know.'. then she replied.like'its ok' and put emoticon hug in msg...I replied ok,and since she did told me I wished her happy trip and good time..she sayd thanks.and conversation ended.. Did I done good or bad with this?Shoud I grey rock her by ignoring this kind of txt msg or..?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Being friendly with your ex who is being friendly with you is good for your child. Creating boundaries is also very good just try not to react with aggression. She will believe she still has control over your emotions.

[@Tbone_Crusader]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Thank you..I appreciate it..

[@Bo00si33]

I have a few questions... 1. When trial starts for real this time, will this make him release his anger on his current partner(s) since he can't get to me? 2. Do u think he has told anyone about this? any women? Like do u think he has mentioned me? 3. If u were in his position, do u think with all the memories coming back, you'll be in ur "feelings"? Or "hurt"?.. 4. If the judge doesn't give him jail time and it's just probation and a slap on the wrist, do u think that would lessen the chance of him seeking revenge against me?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

If it were me.... 1) Anger is always released on partners, no matter what is happening in my life. Or it will be internalized. 2) You are the villain in this story. He's innocent. 3) I would ACT as if you were nothing to me. But some lower on the spectrum will act out in court. 4) We play the long game. Watch your back.

[@debralavorata546]

Sara i looked for this video because i think im blocked,idk. I got a vibe yesterday that told me to try his number,and i got a rapid busy,then i tried again and i got a recording that said the person ur trying to teach isn't accepting calls,then some numbers and then nothing. The super emp(me) became terrified and scared because i still love the avoidant narr. So i broke nc after fourteen days and tried a simple text,i miss u,i got one check,then after a minute it said switch to sms,then it went through.Ive had that happen now and then with other people.I got no response,but he wasnt on Whatsapp for four days. Now im back on nc,fidnt try the number again,but i feel sick to my heart,i think he did this after he friend zoned me cause he thinks something that wasn't true,dont know what to do or how to handle this ,help sara

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Stop breaking no contact. Let him miss you and let him reach out. He knows you have anxiety. Let him have anxiety over you.

[@irose1995]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE hi dear I had FWB casual relationship with this guy I think he was narc, initially he was very nice but later on he started to distance himself avoiding my text and calls and after several arguments that I did he simply blocked me I just ask some respect and attention as he used to ignore me in public was i wrong? He literally blocked me after 1.5 years when can I reach out to him ? Will he unblock? Or it’s over for him?

[@melissabrown8691]

Yes that's my question if I hold accountable watch the way the words are used strategically interrupt and over explain everything why would they stay so long and refuse to leave and take it! That's the part I don't get I tried so hard to psychologize him away nothing worked. Only reason I'm not dealing with the in my face show up version is due to a few of his friends who stepped in and court orders not that they worked either... why would someone take it so long and still try so hard to get u back under the delusion ?no matter how much i live someone i can love them and lwt them go if it is not right healthy for me. Hes apparently at a rock bottom hes never been in before spiraling exposimg himself essentially as he has always kept his 2 sides extremely separate and hidden. In his sisters words i broke him. He had always used his sistwrs mental health issues to make her seem more crazy as a kid and got away with everythkng but was also in teouble alot but different played his sister as emotionally unstable ome qhen in reality it was both. She is quit happy as apparently he is finally getting it as he has been able to not care about anyone essentially not in this way as his sister says. What does all that mean

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Don't try to understand the depths of a chaotic mind. Just know that his behaviors have nothing to do with you. He sees you though a lens of his early trauma. And no one can love away the pain he has hidden deep inside of himself.

[@melissabrown8691]

@cLuStEr B MiLkShAkE the problem is I do understand it. I grew up in it. My family friends yeah I felt the energies I navigated the feelings differently however. I'm a conundrum I swear lmao... I think the most interesting label a narsistic psychopathic type called me was a Chamillion Gem. And the thing is I get it. I have a way of meeting people where there at and being genuine doing it. I'm a natural kind of wild. Developed over talking over explaining I realize now as a way to feel safe living amongst so many fragile hostile hurt people 💔 I have the save the world complex stab ur heart issue. I walk in the darkness to find those who want to find a way out I guess I always have. My mind has always been fascinated with human mind healing the heart and breaking the deception of the evil one. One main issue is that of shame vs guilt. Major concept to understand we are not bad people because we do bad things! We must repent allow ourselves to feel guilt for what we do wrong knowing it's a bad behavior not a bad person. We all yearn for love deep down because we are love we all just don't know how to show it in a consistent way as the delusion is deep we the whole world Walk in in different ways. You have a powerful opportunity knocking i feel it. God is on the move. You are worth it. You add to my hope confirmation and insight. Thank you beautiful for being you.

[@debbibobetty5620]

I noticed you switch from childlike voice to adult voice, is this a common occurrence with someone with your condition? I ask because I dated someone who would do that but then go into bizarre weird noises with their tongue and acting like they were doing weird things with their body I don't understand it. I did block that individual because they were too crazy to have in my life. Last I heard he was at AA trying to pick up girls in the parking lot!

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

When I'm being an A-hole to mimic others, I will change my voice.

[@vedrancy]

woah!

[@gerneviegeorge9979]

What about when the narcissist doesn't block you?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Are they leaving you on read? It's a punishment.

[@gerneviegeorge9979]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Yea, he read all the messages and did not reply. We weren't even in a relationship - it was only sexual. I was not Trauma bounded either. I got rid of him though.

[@robanjel]

I have been blocked more than once with all the chaos and discards. I didn’t have a car so she would tell me “I can drop you off” when kicking me out. I never took the ride just uber. Even with the uber showing up, it was a car that wasn’t the best condition so she accused me of lying saying it was a friend. Anyway I was blocked. Couple months later she unblocked me to tell me she was having my child. I blocked her immediately with anger. Makes me seem toxic or an asshole right? But after her obviously sleeping with everyone I uncovered some lies, what was I to do after the chaos? I’m the one who opened the door again months later because I’m going to own up to a child. We tried to be together again but the abuse didn’t stop. I’m kicked out again, was blocked but then put on “unfollowed”

[@daviedood2503]

But I'm NOT black tho...I'm white 😆😇 LOL! I love being a bad little fkr. Feels pretty liberating. 😈❤🍻

[@raamtselon]

So, why did my N wife plotted the break and divorce??

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

People make plans to divorce all the time. Nothing Narcissistic about that.

[@sanfernvalley619]

Ironic thinking: “why does everyone else get to be happy in their relationships and I’m miserable in mine”? While never accepting maybe their mental disorder has a part in the anguish…I guess it must be that the other is shit. Yeah that’s gotta be the only narrative everyone has to believe

[@StreetcarDesire]

Have you stopped doing lives?

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Hell No. lol I just skipped the 4th of July. 🇺🇸

[@surfshack2]

If we were playing football would you block for me? 🤣

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

I'd trip people, maybe. Lol

[@surfshack2]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE That’s mean 🤣

[@aaronzimmer9825]

Love self aware narcissist. If you think you don’t have empathy you can learn it. Stop looking in a mirror 1-3 years NEVER look at your reflection. You will start to notice others.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Thanks for the quick Fix. 😐

[@RachelL421]

You sound more borderline than narcissistic TBH.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Thank goodness I got diagnosed so I can tell you, without a doubt, that I am not.

[@Md-rn6tg]

Do you need constant chaos to avoid looking inside yourself/selfreflection? My ex would always sleep watch p.orn or call me when he was at home alone and sometimes he would tell me he was scared or just didn’t like being alone at home.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

I don't need constant chaos but sometimes it just happens do to wrong thinking triggered by an event. With some it's a habit, just to blame and rage so they never have to be alone with their shame. Projection is real and something you can't always defend yourself from.