Why am I so sad after losing 175 lbs.? | My Gastric Bypass Journey

[@WarnerSisterDot89]

Oh Stephanie, I am so there with you. I'm 169 down from my highest at almost 14 months out and the idea of being a different person outwardly, of people just meeting me for the first time not knowing that I was almost 400 lbs, is definitely a difficult thing to wrap my head around. I started dating a childhood friend a few months ago, we reconnected over the summer and while he knows of the weight loss, he didn't know me while I was at my heaviest and can't comprehend that even though he can see every picture of me on Facebook. My history with dating and marriage/widowhood is a bit ugly with people liking me in spite of how I looked or making me feel like they are doing me a favor by being with me and he is constantly complimenting my body and my brain and showing me off when we go out places and while it's wonderful, it's also a huge source of anxiety and fear that the other shoe will drop and he will all of a sudden change his mind. Therapy helps but it can be so painful. I hope that both of us can heal from the past and move forward in our new lives ❤

[@1FatBeet]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I'm saddened by how many of us experience this and feel this way, but also comforted to know I'm not alone. I really feel what you said - it's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop in a lot of situations and it creates this constant level of anxiety that floats around in the background. I think therapy has been SO helpful but as you mention, it's painful. It is shedding light on things and putting me in an uncomfortable spot of transition which is always tough but always worth it in the end. I am right there with you, let's tackle this together and move forward the best we can 💗💗

[@findingmyhappyplace]

It's also sad how the more confident u become how people even immediate family pull away from you.Its almost like we start to deal with our issues and the ones who care the most now hurt us because we are finally liking who we're becoming and maybe we don't kiss tail as we used to....it's ok though we have to care for ourselves we deserve it

[@jenjram]

Thank you for being so open on the internet and your channel. This, the mental health portion, as you say, is the most important aspect. I keep hoping more people will talk about these struggles/realities instead of just monthly updates/portions/etc. However, it is a very vulnerable place to explore, and I think many do not want to go there. I appreciate all that you do and share.

[@1FatBeet]

I 💯agree, it's a very uncomfortable place to be and putting it out online can make us very vulnerable. I understand why many don't talk about it, and honestly I can't fault them for it, but the more people who can share those types of experiences can help us all realize how common it is and that we aren't alone. That's the reason I'll continue to share. Heck, 5 months ago I did a video talking about how hesitant I was to put this kind of stuff out there for people to be able to comment on - it's very real! Thank you for your support 💗

[@grandmabrowne6102]

My childhood and most of adulthood, I've been Chunky. My high weight was 326. I'm now at 220. I'm 64. This past year has been mostly "Automatic Pilot." In a way this has been a blessing. With being away from home, Monday-Friday, taking care of family and a Foster grandbaby, I don't have time to hardly think about my weightloss. I've had to buy smaller clothes. People comment about my size change, but I am not very mindful of it until I look in the mirror. I have 2 bad knees and hip. There is no way I would be physically able to deal with the multiple stairs in my daughter's home, without this surgery. My Gastric Sleeve was done in June 2021. I get full fast and crazy sick if I eat too much sugar. We have 2 granddaughters who are Autistic. I truly believe my focusing on taking care of, yet enjoying this family time has helped me with a lot of my transitions. You on the other hand must be mindful of these huge changes most of the time. Being on KZbin in itself with the fantastic content you are providing, has to have a number of details front and center in your thinking. Personally, I am extremely grateful to you for insight and motivation when I've needed it. You have taken such good care of yourself and us. You are an accomplished young woman in so many ways. Being aware of the pitfalls and bringing that to our minds is important. Unfortunately, my youngest daughter, who had the same procedure, is dealing with the reality that it is possible to put some of that weight back on. We will all have different victories and challenges. Being able to learn and encourage each other; you and your followers on here, has been most helpful. Thank you. You keep writing your destiny, dear lady.

[@KrazyKatLadyx2]

Beautiful video. Don't ever feel as though you are alone in trying to find yourself after "uncovering" yourself through weight loss. Hiding for years and suddenly not being able to hide in the same way is it's own journey. Kudos to you for being vulnerable and sharing ❤

[@elizabethstephens6471]

I am preparing to start the process for weight loss surgery. I am someone who has punished myself with food. I didn't realize at first but early adolescence had me dealing with improper situations of sexual abuse. I wanted to be less attractive and was depressed. I ate my emotions, I hated my body. I hid my light, energy and confidence. Then it became worse. Teens being uncomfortable with their body. Another situation that hurt me that was not my fault. Men saying things that were improper but caused me great depression and anxiety. Limiting activities and losing joy. Being married was/is hard. I am not emotionally right in the head. I feel like the weight loss may bring back large waves of emotion and shame. I am trying to work on some of it now.

[@marlawegrzyn6991]

You articulate so well…..exactly how I’m feeling. Thank you for sharing

[@leigh4health]

You are so right! I am in the process of getting surgery but I have been in a recovery program for almost 3 years. I am just now breaking through that shell you talked about. Perfect timing for me to work on the physical as well. Thanks for this platform.

[@OronoDiane]

Thank you for this video- you address many of my biggest concerns here. I have my first meeting with a surgeon in 2 days- so am just beginning this journey. And I have a significant history of depression- the mental health ramifications of this surgery scare me a lot. I am an emotional eater and have been trying to figure out how I will cope with emotion post-surgery. The ways in which my self- perception/ esteem may change hadn't specifically occurred to me and I need to look at that as well. At 53 years old I've spent the vast majority of my life morbidly obese and it's so difficult to see how my identity may shift with such a huge weight loss. It HAD occurred to me that I might feel terrible regret for not having done this sooner. My weight has been the primary factor in my being single and I wonder if I will resent myself not losing the weight while I was still young enough to enjoy dating. Anyway, thank you for all of your content/ for sharing your journey here on KZbin- I just found your channel last week and am a happy new subscriber.

[@Jeanniebugg]

I started therapy about 2 months before surgery. I knew that stuff was going to come up and I wanted my therapist and I to already have an established relationship. Just like with alcohol, drugs, or sex, food is just a symptom. Food isn't our problem - WE are our problem. I'm about halfway through with a book. It's called, "Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction". It's written by a gal (Connie Stapleton) who is a counselor in a bariatric clinic. It's pretty good! If you like to read, I would recommend it - at this point, anyways. :)

[@1FatBeet]

Thank you so much for this recommendation! I will add it next in line as that definitely sounds right up my alley. I'm just now finishing "Good Enough Now: How Doing the Best We Can With What We Have is Better Than Nothing" by Jessica Pettitt, and next in line is "Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)" by Eve Rodsky. Your recommendation is ABSOLUTELY next!! 💗

[@drd6893]

This is a big reason why to have this surgery in the states, you’ve got to be seeing a therapist before and after❤. We’re only human I’m happy you’ve gotten into therapy

[@lacoleson]

I am 5 weeks post op VSG and already struggling a little bit. I enjoy your videos and appreciate you sharing these things.

[@furrrylivesmattter7823]

I'm going thru gastric bypass right now too and totally get what you're saying....it's different being heavy...people look at you different and there's alot of stuff you can't do....now that you lose a bunch of weight yeah doors open people look at u different and I get it I don't thi nk I need to say anything elae....people who are heavy have to understand, unless u have an Uber awesome sense of your self as a heavy person u have to understand. Peace girl

[@mayraservin2929]

Hang in there you’re doing great you look amazing i’ve been following your journey since day one I love your videos thank you so much❤

[@1FatBeet]

Thank you so much!!💗

[@ronnyguerrero]

Hello! This is a very good channel and pleasure throughout your Bariatric journey. I have a question for you, the Surgery didn’t affect your concentration like when you work in your computer, reading, etc.

[@sweetrachellrae5962]

I love your channel I have always been over weight I weigh 235 and will be having surgery soon I get so scared to get to skinny since I’m not very big to begin with I’m so unhealthy I rather do the surgery to help me food is my emotional support I just keep getting bigger and have medical problems behind my weight 😢

[@MarciaMarshaMarcia]

Much love and respect ❤ I can totally empathize being only a year out.

[@bridgetthauert5518]

Thank you for being so frank

[@kampehmedia]

Hi Stephanie. Im 6 months post op (Gastric Bypass) i'm already down 80 pounds and i look great...BUT...i dont feel great for many reasons: I'm physically able to eat more than the 6 ounces that my doctor told me i should eat, i'm never satisfied with my meals, sometimes i eat up to 8oz for me to be close to feeling satisfied, i know, it might be mental hunger but im pretty sure i know my stomach, but, bottom line is that every time i ask my doctors why am i able to eat so much they never have an answer, they actually abandoned me after the first month and i dont blame them, they already did their part. I never suffered from depression until now, again, i look like a million bucks but i feel miserable every single day of my life, sometimes i dont even wanna eat, i just skip foods and start doing something else to keep my mind off the fact that i had a gastric bypass and i could still eat larger than normal (for a bypass patient) amounts of food and not feel satisfied. I'm a single dad, live with my 2 kids and i have to 2 jobs, making my meals is a nightmare and that's reason #2 for me to skip some meals, i dont even have time to meal prep. I just started watching your videos, right now i just need hope and believe that eventually im gonna be ok.

[@chyndb]

I’m nervous borderline scared of the mental aspect of this post op

[@1FatBeet]

Change is scary. I obviously won't say it hasn't been hard, but real meaningful change and working through this process really is worth it in the end. Looking inward to figure out why I make the choices I do and why I behave the way I do around others (or my expectations of how others will behave around me) has been eye-opening and helpful for me to heal and work on the things that lead me to be nearly 400 lbs. in the first place. But that stuff is hard work that a lot of people shy away from and I understand why. I think it's worth the effort, even if it hurts a bit. We all experience that part different because of our different lived experiences and how we choose to protect ourselves.

[@ShadareaRapt]

Jesus purchased eternal life for us by his own life on the cross so we have eternity. You haven't lost time being 400 lbs if you'll be in heaven later. The hard work is forgiveness, forgiving ourselves and forgiving others so we can get along with everyone.