why am i still making youtube videos?

sorry so emotional in this one....said alot i've been holding in for a long time...and I can honestly say I feel alot better having said it...thank you and see you soon
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[@725k9]

As much as it can mean from a random internet stranger, you are loved and appreciated for everything you’ve done on this channel.

[@rtc2112]

Basically what this person said, you don't even have to have like scheduled videos or no shit man just as long as you are checking in to let us know that everything is good for you and yours 🤘

[@shanesmith734]

It doesn't matter what we think. If it's therapy for you, keep doing it. This actually brought me comfort as well. Keep them coming.

[@xBTxWanna]

your vulnerability is inspiring, appreciate your perspective. you're the man

[@esahc4306]

You got this bro! You're strong beyond belief 💪 going through a somewhat similar situation mentally. You aren't alone. Much love homie 🙏 take it easy, but take it

[@Wh44ThiZZiT]

You are great man u just doing u 💯🔥

[@Elixi420]

I feel you on many levels, especialy the weed part... I dont watch this channel for "entertainment", i feel like i have connected with your realness and ups and downs and really appreciate your honesty! Ive been watching your vids since "high times" vids and its been real nice to see you and your brother grow and u getting family! Hope u find the way to be happy and less sad! All the best from Finland

[@George-Aguilar]

Privacy is a valued commodity. Work on the anxiety. Get full range blood tests. Vitamin D, check test levels. Workout. Slow down the weed.

[@shanesmith734]

Everything is different for all of us now. Been following your stuff since 2017. I can relate to the swimming metaphor. I feel like I'm getting closer to the things I want to achieve, but for some reason I feel less and less happy than I was before. Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I would've enjoyed the ride back then. I'm still listening and resonating with you bro. Thanks for the video.

[@HighMito317]

Brother. Don’t feel embarrassed about being depressed. A lot have been there and are there with you. Life is fkn hard! You are loved and appreciated bro. ❤️ mental health for men is REAL. I love you so much bro and I really hope you find peace in your life and in yourself. One book that listened to that has helped me tremendously is called, The Way of the Superior Man. I highly recommend it to anyone! It was recommended by Nipsey Hussle as well. 🏁💙

[@HAYLO_TWO]

I used to watch you back in the days when you made that thizz video and over the years always check in every month or so. Im the same age, I have seen so many similarities w/ life and growth I hope you find the peace and comfort were all looking for in life. Im not going to talk about my personal life but I know how shit is. Whether you stop making videos or not just keep pushing forward, try to make the most out of the good things in life and the world. Appreciate every moment with who ever you love, whatever else you love and appreciate in the world even if its tough sometimes. Getting older, growing as a person / times changing and not giving up is rough but youre not alone. Cut out anything that adds stress, anxiety or negativity that holds you back in your growth and life. I hope to see you doing better and still posting in the future. Im not the type of person that forms parasocial relationships with youtubers but even back over a decade ago when Id watch your videos I could relate and when I check in I always can still relate. Its always helped me to see your videos and to know that youre still posting and not giving up. Lifes crazy but its also beautiful and with the good there has to be some bad. Dont let the bad get the better of you man. ✌️

[@emrvld1420]

What’s crazy is that u doing this is a form of stress relief and let out your emotions instead of bottling it all in. We all need certain people to listen to us and the fact u have a strong set group of supporters is good for you in this time of need. We appreciate the honesty and transparency Aud, it helps us aswell believe it or not that we all can be better in the future. The fact that ur taking the time to start to control your weed use and being open with us is the start. Things are gonna get better.. it’s gonna be hard as fuck now and it’s gonna get harder been a couple of years u will be tha king yourself for making this change. Your mind isn’t use to u living with out these substances so it’s going to be hard but eventually you will get use to it and better. Throughout the tough times even now in this video u still showed us a smile , ur habit of always having fun and smiling has helped us so much with ur good vibes so now it’s ok for u to be serious with us. U got this bro 💪🏾 keep us posted.

[@dalt1340]

take your time man you've already come so far, you have more youtube success than most people will see in their whole life. you got this ur mental will only get better

[@jonking7345]

I'm a 57 yr old man, I still have my moments of trying to figure it out. We all do. This is only the second video I've watched of yours, the first was the truth about MDMA. So I don't know you, or your struggle. From the outside, I feel like you're making this /these for a connection. Most everyone wants to feel a connection. I would encourage you to stick to your wisdom of recognizing what is true and good in your life, that you mentioned. Those are real things, your doubt and anxiety are the things to discard( I fully know this isn't an easy thing ) I care about you, and don't even know you, think about all the people who HAVE gotten to know you, and how they must care. One thing I would say to you is, make a video when YOU feel like making one, if that's 10 min from now, fine. If that's never again, that's fine too. Include what YOU want to include. This is YOUR creation, do what is good for you, and don't worry about anyone else. The people that truly care about you will be be fine with the path you take. The only other thing I guess I would say is, that the brain is an unbelievably complex thing. Chemicals and signals finely tuned and easy to throw out of balance. You've apparently been turning that tuning dial rather aggressively for some time now, maybe a lighter touch is called for 🙂 I wish you contentment, peace and joy, and the recognition that all things, both joyful and otherwise, are temporary things that come and go, that sometimes we ARE just floating, and that's okay. Recognizing this and keeping an eye on what actually matters brings some peace. There is also one above that cares very much. I chose to believe in Him, everyone else has that freedom to choose too. He has brought me much peace, Jesus

[@cryptic4446]

Audible I subbed to ue channel when I found ur video about how u almost destroyed your life one night and man if it means anything that video helped me so much during a suicidal period of my life homie . Hope you know I'm not the only one you helped , keep doing ur thing. I feel you on the debt part and weed addiction. Man I feel u on spiritual level frrr.. best of luck man never lose hope my g

[@Klipsat]

Bro don’t feel bad for ur self u helped me a lot and taught me about how life is ups and downs and that’s ok don’t compare ur self to ur old videos cuz it’s “old” and ofc after those videos somedays u felt good and somedays u felt bad and again that’s okay i really wish for u all the best and i see the future you from now have a milion sub and making video about this video 😂🤍 Big love from Saudi 🇸🇦

[@gilbertencinas2518]

I see you struggling and you need to remember that you are still growing as an adult. Everyone goes through crazy shit one way or another. Don’t stop riding the wave. This is temporary, you will be just fine my friend. 🙏🏻🙏🏻✌🏼

[@Mayan_Hawaiian]

bro do yo. thang 💙☮️ take of yourself and check in every once in a while,

[@iPhenomProductions]

Stay strong brother. Let it out...it's okay. Always here if you need anything.

[@davidpaez8892]

Have a routine, wake up early, exercise, eat healthy, work hard. Your brain will reward you. It worked for me and I can’t guarantee that will work for everyone but physical and mental health are somehow related and I have experienced it. At the beginning it felt like I was doing all of it for nothing but with time my mental health improved drastically.

[@FailasaurusRex]

Don't feel bad brotha, I remember like 8 years ago I asked you about depression on one of the ask audibles and I'm still dealing with that shit too

[@trubiyya6925]

Allow yourself to be sad. Its ok. You are strong, man..! Hope you are good.

[@Elixi420]

Also feel like its common for ppl around the age of +30 to have these kind of feelings, atleast in my circle its very common right now.

[@lakush420]

Live life!

[@reclusive_aggressive]

Can't stop/won't stop. You'll figure it out, aways do.

[@Cuntalmarie]

I love ya

[@ryanfromcc5834]

I understand and relate to so much of this I hope things get better and you can get your mind calmed down and you see better days whatever you upload I’m gonna watch stay strong Audible

[@TwentyThreeVeeya]

Hardest thing one can do is take their own advice. I’m on the same boat/swim lol. I always feel like I’m drowning but it’s my own mind making me drown. Shit gets hard but we still pushing through making it. We just gotta find healthy ways to manage our insane thoughts. We will get there tho. Keep dating forward you got this audible.

[@jpotts21]

Been watching since twisted pictures. I’m very proud of you. Keep it up

[@OhHeyWhatsUpBro]

Hey, man. Glad to see you back. Sending you peace as you walking through this point in your journey. You got this!

[@StraightFadedEnt]

I understand where u comin from bro i be feeling the same, hopefully i can get u on my podcast and we can discuss thiz, glad u still doin videoz Keep ur head Up Bro u aint alone u got thiz💯

[@6Diego1Diego9]

Why not just make vlogs about interesting things around the city. You don't have to talk about yourself.

[@alfredogonzalez8735]

Appreciate you bro. Maybe get some exercise if you don't already to help with the depression and anxiety.

[@Naatboy]

I know the solution to your problems. Love how you talked about you swimming but could not go forward anymore. You know, the sky is the limit but what if you have reached the sky...? We humans are not able to comfort our selfs when we are sad. We are actually NOT 'gods'! In the past I tried to heal my depression with psychedelics and meditation but I just got worse... But then I found Him, or no, He found me! The most Holy God gives us the only real love, peace and truth we need through His Son Jesus Christ who is God. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Ill pray for you, wish you all the best!