Why Breakups Hit Men Different

[@lewissmith-d4s]

For all the men who are reading this there's hope - As you get older and into your thirties you become more immune towards rejection from women and much more content in yourself generally. When you experience rejection it still hurts but you recover from it much more rapidly. I'm convinced there's an evolutionary mechanism in your brain which kicks in. You realise that in the end it's all a load of BS and the only thing that is truly worth caring about is your family and your health.

[@andrewrobinson2565]

Your health FIRST and THEN your family. You are of no use to your family if you are ill. 👍 (This message to ALL PARENTS.)

[@BLUESKY-zt1nv]

ha ha i have been rejected since my very first time of asking a girl out in 1973 ...i am now 62 and never ever had any relationship with a woman ..ever ..never even held ones hand never mind kiss ...now i am stuck in my ways .i have never known any different and what you never had you dont miss.

[@steve5123456789]

@@andrewrobinson2565 Rejection can damage physical health.

[@andrewrobinson2565]

@@steve5123456789 Indeed, it's not the fall that kills you.

[@garethjohnstone9282]

As soon as you break up, cut contact. ALL contact. Don't wonder "what if?". I promise you. If there's a chance, SHE will contact YOU. I'm sorry to say, 90% of the time when a woman breaks up with you, it's over. Treat it as so. Kill it in your mind. THE most important thing is your dignity. And grovelling or pestering will haunt you. I know - I've done it. Move on. Push it through. I also encourage you to go down the rabbit hole and embrace the feelings, the misery. It will make you grow. Listen to music that makes you feel sad, angry, exhilarated - really feel the emotions. The only way out is down. Go down to the point where the only way is up. And you come out of the other side.

[@izil1fe]

Cut contact from your side i agree with. DO NOT initiate contact first EVER if you were the one who was dumped. BUT, and it's a BIG but... DO NOT burn down bridges.. do not block.. do not unfriend.. do not delete.. IF you ever want to have any chance with her again.. if she contacts you for any reason.. respond few days later.. and do not agree to anything less of her coming over to your place at night.. for whatever reason she wants to talk to you.. has to be at night, has to bring wine.. If the feelings are too strong, and you care too much, DO BLOCK, DO DELETE, DO FORGET, ASAP.

[@itumelengmakgetla1837]

Brother, we just have to get on with life at the end of the day.

[@eonthinker100yrago8]

One thing I’ve noticed is people in first world countries have unrealistic expectations(different from preferences) from their partners mostly formed from social media. This will bite most societies in the coming future.

[@rjflores438]

My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 years ago, I'm struggling to even get dates at the moment and have done for the past 2 years. Im not a bad looking guy but my confidence is on the floor, I never get approached and the amount of rejections I get makes it feel not worth it anymore.

[@KolyaNickD]

Look for someone younger

[@vicchioblack2214]

Stop focusing on chasing women. Instead, shift your energy toward self-improvement. Hit the gym and work on getting in the best shape of your life, both physically and mentally. Focus on your career and strive to reach your highest potential. Travel and broaden your horizons.Most importantly, consider seeing a therapist to explore what truly makes you happy and fulfilled. By investing in yourself and becoming the best version of you, the right relationships will come!

[@BLUESKY-zt1nv]

i know how you feel but if it makes you feel any better ..i am 62 and never even had one date ..no such thing as an ex girlfriend for me .. I never get approached either and the amount of rejections I got makes it feel not worth it anymore.

[@mast3rchief536]

Do not turn to alcohol whatsoever, it completely amplifies all feels wether it be lust, attachment or anger. I remember when she officially called it with me after 2 weeks of doubt with dry messages ext. I felt a great feeling, a feeling of acceptance and that was really empowered to cut off contact, work myself completely. I already started, I hit the gym, I deleted Snapchat so I didn’t have to see her stories. Following weekend I got drunk and felt an urge to message her and I did, it ruined the whole momentum. Then what unfolded was months of distractions from just still having her in my life. To me it’s just a huge headache with the feelings and to her probably mean nothing at all.

[@heathervt]

Nobody wants to be dominated or controlled or with a person who can't commit.

[@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness.]

True but a man feeling in control of a situation is not necessarily the same as trying to control your choices.

[@FindingThumos]

most women nowadays can't commit to anything. they look at their phones all day and see thousands of other options for their lives.

[@Letshaveafewbeers]

36 things do change mentally from your 20s but you realise life is short and that whilst you confront your emotions you have stronger coping mechanisms that help you get over women

[@dolanSWEG]

2 years still thinking about her

[@ceefaxbbctv8788]

The European girl just viewed the guy as a summer romance. It was never gonna be the same once she returned home and she knew that.

[@MyNewLeng]

Could your friends situation be a drawback of the digital nomad lifestyle? I'm sure getting romantic with a like-minded individual whilst you're on a working holiday visa in a sun soaked country feels fantastic. But surely that kind of lifestyle is pretty much just a long holiday. And we all know how holiday romances feel at the time and how they can quickly break apart when faced with the realities of time and distance...

[@MrStax40]

I’ve been blocked by two exes over the last 10 years , such a cowards way out , within couple of months it soon passes though

[@devinfraserashpole4753]

I agree, life goes on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[@leechapman-ri9rb]

@@devinfraserashpole4753 Plenty of whales too!

[@Lyonessi]

I'm a woman. I was abandoned by my ex when I was going through a rough patch. He comes back to ask how I am months later, I reply within 24 hours and he leaves again without a reply. Even if he cared, he sure as hell doesn't know how to treat someone with respect. I decided to not initiate anymore. Bitter ending but I'm free at last.

[@FindingThumos]

@@Lyonessi I got ghosted by a girl too. we were just friends but i literally saved her life once and we went to uni togetherr and talked almost everry day for years so i thought we'd be cool and friends forever. however, one year she started treating me badly for several months straight. i asked a few times why she was acting different and the third time i asked she accused me of being pssycho and ghosted me (by the time she ghosted me, she was already basically never replying to any of my messages or phone calls - so the friendship was basically dead anyway, for reasons she never explained. actually the last thing she said to me was she thought our friendship was going fine, which I thought was really weird as she also admitted at the same time that she was sorry for never contacting me) later i found out she lied to me about almost everything about herself and had a long history of mental disorder and crazy family and relationship problems she completely hid from me. lol. so i just laugh about it now, but it hurt me at the time as i had considered her one of my besst friends. i should have noticed the red flags but i was really young when we first met and too naive. i tried contacting her several times after she ghosted me because i was confused and didn't realise i was being ghosted (she sometimes used to disappear for a few weeks at a time normally anyway, so I thought that's what was happening - but her disappearances were also a red flag i shouldnt have ignored). won't make that mistake again. she was a narc anyway, didn't care about anyone except herself. she sometimes told me she didn't love her friends or family anymore. that was another red flag i shouldn't have ignored. i thought she was just venting when she said those sorts of things but it turns out shee actually meant it. sshe really didn't care about anyone. in her spare time she just wanted to watch tv and play video games and eat lots of store food ( she couldn't cook), she considered her friends an annoyance unless they could do something for her like write her homework or go out for activities with her.

[@mast3rchief536]

Phones and social media have given women so much power, it’s given them the easiest way out of a relationship and the easiest way into one.

[@devinfraserashpole4753]

I think that woman viewed your friend as a travel fling. The best advice for him is to go onwards & upwards, move on.

[@jettjones9889]

True but she at least could have sent him a detailed and compassionate message/email to end it and at least give some answers.

[@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness.]

Speculation about what happened between them when they are the only people who will ever really know seems pointless..I don't understand women who cut someone off without another word. I have always written a letter or email with my reasons.

[@devinfraserashpole4753]

@@jettjones9889 It’s something that is common these days, men do it to women as well. Best thing to do is write it off and carry on.

[@devinfraserashpole4753]

@@Her.Serene.Feline.Cuteness. That’s a good way to do it. Unfortunately many do not share these practices so it’s vital to be ready to move on. You have to maintain a stiff upper lip.

[@smqar1129]

Great vid Olly, have you thought of setting up a discord as a kind of community for mens mental health

[@peterrfowler16]

Great post Olly

[@Hu-manBeing]

Hi olly How much does it cost to do a zoom call with you, like a discovery call to see if I want to get your guidance on building my online business 🙏🏻

[@DanAdlingtonOnline]

I remember a female friend telling me women are nasty and be careful. With the exception of my mother, female mentor in the bank and friends wives generally I think the advice was correct.

[@afritimm]

Question --- if this really so different from how a woman feels after an unwanted breakup?

[@Jaapst]

Women always feel better after the breakup

[@Jaapst]

@@bensanderson7144 if you compare women after a breakup initiated by a man and a man dumped by the woman the woman will ALWAYS have it easier.

[@andrewrobinson2565]

It's a good one 👍👍+1.

[@greenwoodorganics4681]

Lol mate try 15 years later... they don't stop haunting you , you can be over it but you won't forget them

[@izil1fe]

Try 6 years later..

[@sneedfeed3179]

Breakups hit men differently because there typically aren’t dozens of women trying to hook up with them at the same time 😂

[@reemsaif3105]

Because they like control. Pay attention...

[@BizVerseTv]

sorry to say, "MEN" dont need these kind of help 🤣😂

[@marny3559]

This is coming from a middle aged chubby Indian man. Chances are, you know absolutely sweet fuck all compared to a white guy in his 20s who's in decent shape. Stay in your lane Pajeet.

[@dolanSWEG]

We got a true Alpha over here guys