Why Co-dependency is Destroying Your Family

[@Christiansstillstruggle]

My mom is a caregiver who has been done wrong her entire life for assuming her role was to save everyone else. This sermon brought her immense healing and revelation 🙌❤ God literally spoke to her through Pastor Mark 🙏

[@Whereempathsgather]

Children think parents don't have issues, sadly. Everyone should heal before they have children.

[@soniamckay6889]

A lot of healing comes after the children.​@@Whereempathsgather

[@loganross1861]

Man it would be such an advantage to grow up with this, under this kind of preaching and culture

[@leefossett5777]

I was a single mother of 4. This was hard to hear but I needed to hear it. It explains a lot! Truth is hard 2 hear sometimes but necessary. I am broken.

[@bonniemoon6790]

Ill be praying for you. God bless and keep you.

[@Bvofarm]

Yes, it takes strength and humility for this admission. I pray for you and that you are able to maintain your willingness and teachableness and that you continue to see God working in your life. Amen.

[@Bvofarm]

@leefossett5777 forgot to tag you

[@jenniferflower9265]

Dang… I’m definitely the care giver. Failure to launch my own life, I’ve takin everyone’s anxiety, nobody takes care of me. I have a ton of health issues from it and full of anxiety. I’m 45 and times running out for developing my life. It’s time for a change.

[@bc4yt]

Amen. Same.

[@jamimccormack9220]

Same❤

[@creeves6957]

I totally enmeshed with my son as a single mother (not by choice but by his unwillingness to be a father). My son didn’t leave home permanently until age 26. Today at the age 71 my son has enmeshed with his absent father and totally estranged me. Certainly I caused great damage to our adult relationship and grieve daily for my child who is not dead.

[@amylooper]

Yes 💯 to all of this! I’m a high performance coach and author Leading Motherhood. I love how real Mark is. There is no sugar coating! Just started the workbook with hubby! Personal development is a lifestyle not a one time event.

[@jamesgrosrenaudjr812]

Prayers for you pastor with this sermon series. Tough love everyone needs

[@ljmetcalf8536]

Thanks for the great message - our marriage was nearly destroyed by this problem so I'm grateful that you're brave enough to tackle the issue truthfully. I love all your messages and have listened to you for years. If you could tone down (or change or delete) the music at the start and finish, that would be great.

[@amycakes400]

Mark has such a clear vision for the Lord. His teachings have brought me back into studying Gods word after going through psychosis from an abusive relationship. When so many things felt unclear Gods word truly saved my life. Plain simple and in print truth. I pray for young families starting off but come from broken homes. It’s truly important to have confidence passed down from the mother and father. Don’t think mom and dad can do it alone either! It takes a village!! aka church is so important for families. Tolerance is the perversion of repentance and the church is groaning.

[@stcroixpaintingpros5586]

Mark, I always look forward to your sermons! I have listened to hours and hours while I'm painting houses. Your preaching seriously resonates with my generation of men (millennial gen). You have a gift to influence men in the right direction and always happy to see an upload from your channel 👏 Now I'm going to listen to the sermon while enjoying the beautiful December weather in Florida 😂🎧

[@On_a_journey15]

Pastor this was a brave message, but needed. I thank you.

[@lorrainestrouse2525]

Love these profound, important principals mixed in with humor! So refreshing to hear these truths.

[@shilpagermainealfred7564]

Pastor Mark and Grace.. Hi😊.. I'm Shilpa from India. I'm married 18 yrs now and blessed with 2 kids.. your series on leave and cleave has immensely witnessed the truth in my spirit. I'm from one of those sad country cultures where even Christians vote for enmeshment over biblical values for marriage.. I have fought so hard for the last 18yrs and am exhausted! Preachers in India refuse to even touch this topic. I'm sure there r millions of Christian ladies like me in the same state. I sometimes thought there was something wrong with my biblical views.. but your series has just given me the launching pad to continue to fight for my marriage..please pray for us! And also that biblical principles of marriage should be strongly preached from our church pulpits.. thank you! God bless!

[@joellehosette818]

Thank you for this sermon. You are so correct. I do not like it when it ends....because then I must go out into the world. And see everything you point out. I don't want to be the online family anymore. I want to be there with my church family!!!!!

[@Libbylou77krtc]

We have in our family division between our 4 sisters because, my parents played favorites. I am the one who was rejected by the family and there still remains division.

[@Kiki_Mans]

This was really good. Really spoke into what's going on with my extended family. Especially the part on favouritism. Watching from Melbourne, Australia.

[@jimwilken9315]

A friend sent this to me today, i really needed to hear this, i thank her for this!

[@rosered6]

To all my brothers and sisters out there: You cannot save ANYONE in your family. THEY have to save THEMSELVES. They will give you the shame, manipulation, blackmail, and they will say its your job. It is NOT your job. Your job is to live your life and serve Christ. You cannot serve God if you are serving someone else instead. This is why God said you cannot serve two masters. You are a precious life, be blessed 🔥

[@susansitkauskas7263]

Yes yes yes

[@yvonnechristian6421]

Pastor Mark, you preach as if most fathers are good examples in the home. I work as a psychiatric nurse and trust me, fathers are just as dysfunctional as the mothers but I’ve noticed a pattern, mothers get blamed 3-4 times more than the father, even if the father is not emotionally or physically present most of the time.

[@ashleychristopher7793]

Agreed. My dad used to hit my mom. That was the only "affection" or touching I only ever saw. When I got married, I picked someone like my dad. That was not good for our children.

[@rebeccajordan6672]

I heard differently. He showed both sides of the coin. He went through the whole lineage of dysfunctional fathers: Abraham, Isaac & Jacob. It's not about pointing fingers or reading stastics about who is at fault, it's about how do we move forward from here. I recognized a LOT of things within myself as a mother that I do that is not healthy for my family and same with my husband. We HAVE to stop pointing the finger and self reflect and take responsibility for what we ARE guilty of.

[@alandicks4207]

Too many women think they can find a replacement Dad. The product of that thinking is destructive. Social services is to be blamed too for being gullible and helping the women block fathers from assuming their rightful roll.

[@Secondelmnt]

He has teachings on fathers part to play as well

[@joycenjoroge2434]

To be honest, I think he's been quite impartial and tried to show both sides of the coin

[@MelKali]

He’s right on! … I struggled to let my husband at times step in because I see my boys as being little boys. I paid the price with my oldest one, I’ve learned to step back and allow my husband to take on the role even if he is strong and tough with them. He would tell me all the time, there will be a time, where boys will try to overpower you and exude authority with you. My sons are 10 and 13 now my oldest is 21. I am stepping back and letting go and allowing him to be a father. I do believe this also comes from myself being without a father and mother in my life. So I’m also learning in the process. Each child is different and parenting doesn’t come with directions but we can go back to scripture and what God says in Proverbs. It is very true what he is saying.

[@BarbaraBelsky]

Great talk and content. Thank you for such a beautiful delivery. I read a comment someone said their father was meek, as in a weak connotation. Jesus was meek and humble of heart. Not weak, but strong, confident, detached from self will and interest.

[@MichaelSmith-md1fs]

Pastor Mark I love your preaching.

[@1Bygone]

Sometimes the Truth Hurts but it's needed for Growth.. This one Hit Home as I'm a living witness but this was a huge help in planning my own Future and not being a Victim of my past.

[@susansitkauskas7263]

We need SO much more of this but I think even pastor unfortunately have some of these dysfunctions. We need to spread this knowledge like wild fire

[@sonyahartley6320]

Your so right my heart and home wasn't healthy I took on the responsibility of caregiver now my husband was a good provider but he had a lot of growing up to do. 😢 It was painful and so didn't want our family to breakup. It's the thing that causes my anxiety my codependent behaviors I was going to save my husband and make everything perfect I guess. He wouldn't go to church he made me feel like I was 2 and to his family. I was never first he always had to be outside and would help other ppl more than he would us. I lost both my parents and had been traumatized throughout this. Alcohol played a roll also. Were no longer together and I have become friends with him. He now attends church and has to take care of his uncle who has had a lot of health problems. Our daughter suffered so much I didn't know what to do. 😢 ❤God gave me a way out I felt it so strong b/c of the damage caused to leave and go back home to Hsv Al. I'm a widow now from my second marriage and some of the patterns in choosing a husband were similar

[@lo-ul8nq]

Thank you Pastor Mark great service

[@Missy-sx9zv]

Im literally all four depending on the situation. Fight, flight, freeze, caregiver

[@rochpartyof5]

Wonderful sermon.

[@TraditionalWifeWisdom]

I thought the sermon was going be about the wife depending too much on her husband and that she should learn to be more independent...What I've been thinking maybe my problem is...needing my husband too much. An unexpected, but much needed lesson on how too much input by in-laws destroys a marriage.

[@kencondor4337]

This sermon describes my family's dynamics almost all the way down to the tee. This family is on life support due to this same situation. It seems every wants to tip toe around the disfuntion and uses the victim card.

[@rickybennett6491]

I just lost my mom and “job” as caregiver, she left owing nothing but leaving my siblings with income she had no part in giving out equally, I’m blessed with the lessons she left me as I spent 24/7 with her, now I’m struggling to cling to God for my next move without $ to make it happen. Please pray for me & my family

[@bc4yt]

Praying for you!

[@Primordial_Synapse]

Hopefully your church helps you out as they should.

[@karm9852]

You are now an experienced care giver… you will be a great addition to a family or a care giver company

[@omarsanchez3202]

How do you teach your son when he doesn’t want to respond or communicate?

[@brock232]

Loving this series!

[@mandyC0re7]

48:50 look beyond the faults of your parents … we have a perfect Father in heaven who loves each and every one of us ❤❤❤❤❤

[@mrspmullen1]

It’s true what he said about cultures. Growing up all I heard was I had to marry someone in my ethnic group to maintain the culture.

[@philipmerrifield]

I love these sermons! I've followed Pastor Mark since I was in middle-school and have greatly benefited from his insight! Is it possible for y'all to turn off the ads on your sermons? There are like 10 ads a sermon and it is highly annoying/distracting.

[@Cheryls_Country_Living]

Sermon starts at 8:00. If the intro is loud and obnoxious to you, skip to the sermon. ❤

[@hg-tm6gn]

Hello where do we get this talks in order? This is such an important message!

[@karm9852]

What’s his age

[@suzieqkrohn8313]

I understand and agree with what you are saying. However, our old world is never coming back. So even though we want to move forward, where will our children go when the forecasted 300 million jobs will be cut because of technology? Children, at that point, without a job are not going to be able to afford to rent or buy a home. It’s going to be a lot stickier than we can ever imagine. Only with God’s help will we be able to transition. When the Babylonian fiat system of money crashes soon and it looks like 1929, the banking collapses are the 1st indicator; we may need some new sermons. No fear because that is the flesh, we walk in the spirit and we keep pressing on until we are with the Lord.

[@princesssweetpea9205]

Amen.... look at the true statistics... a huge percentage of young adults, as old as 25-30, can just find no feasible way in todays economy, jobs, housing, interest rates, etc... How does one address this? ??????

[@suzieqkrohn8313]

@@princesssweetpea9205 there is no way we can address it. I’m not trying to be a doomer, however the world is hurtling toward the anti-Christ system. God will make a way for us, but until this corruption in our government is put to rest, most will not change. Including schools and colleges. The kids that already have degrees cannot get jobs. We are in the end times and I’m pretty sure we are never going back to the way it was before Covid. We are in the birth pangs phase and they have a big agenda for 2030 and it doesn’t include us as Christians.

[@jenniferthom]

When our kids become adults at 18, there is education or full time employment or maybe a combination of both. Getting them set up for this should be happening while they are still teens under parents care. Setting up the plan in advance. There is no shortage of jobs- in fact- signs are up everywhere that say " now hiring" Saving up to cover shelter, food, needs, and etc. 30/50/20. That formula is 30% on shelter, 50%( necessity bills)20% Save/invest. A lot of the problem is young people wanting to start living outside of their means. If kids come from parents who are upper middle class, they do not realize the process to get there. Start with simple apartment, no vehicle or used, and less entertainment. Credit cards are the apple in Eden!

[@tintrach]

The hardwire never took with the woman who gave birth to me and that left me damaged.

[@enzaknapp2125]

Sicilian here! Yep this is exactly how family is done….many many generational curses 😢husband not Sicilian

[@PRSH8YAPROJECTS]

MAJOR ISSUE! What's with the 3 exhaust pipes on the car?

[@blankenmom]

🤭

[@TravelT970]

Bravo mark- brilliant message, man!

[@TheLookingGlassAU]

In my family separateness was punished. Yeah, people with my last name are usually screwed up :)

[@Fayth_Marie]

I so wish I had a "father" who taught me this and looked out for me to marry into a healthier family. HH Holmes son was my "father".

[@shelleyragusa9598]

Excellent! 💯

[@kariamean6242]

Me at 18: Im moving out, mom. My mother: You're still young. Me at 21: I'm leaving, mama. My Mother: You're still young Me at 25: Please let me go, mama please. My Mother: You're still young Me at 30: Im done mama, I will kill myself. Why are you holding me back. My Mother: it's okay, you're still young. Me at 34: Unemployed, no job experience, no house, no car, zero bank account, unmarried, no girlfriends, depressed. My Mother: you're still young . I came realize, my real enemy is my own Mother...

[@chisanainoris5364]

Well when the mother destroys her marriage and uses the children to fulfill her needs in inappropriate ways.

[@MsQ275]

in my family, that was my dad. it can be either parent.

[@karm9852]

What does co dependency mean?

[@Alaskathelastfrontier]

41:24 drug addiction hits so hard

[@Alaskathelastfrontier]

11:22 leave and cleave ❤❤

[@Jennifer_Collins]

I really love his takes on all of this, but I wish there was more scripture in it….

[@jamesgrosrenaudjr812]

Amen

[@MarlonFolden]

I’m 66 and see a lot of young men (even in the church) that will never become mature men.

[@anneyoung2310]

Surprise! Co-dependency can destroy your family even if you are not codependent. BTW, some moms are psychologically healthy and separate, and want the kids to differentiate/ individuate progressively. There are numerous factors in enmeshment, especially where big ministry and/or money is concerned. Thank you for saying when mothers over-parent their son, it causes "failure to launch." This affects the next generation, if not dealt with. Adulting is more challenging, and ironically, exponentially more critical when you work with and live near family.

[@dcho28]

It’s wise to marry within ethnic groups. If not, that’s fine but definitely a lot more obstacles.

[@TheTimmyThomShow]

So good

[@Alaskathelastfrontier]

Leave and cleave 11:31

[@Alaskathelastfrontier]

32:11 Italy people dang

[@drunkjonboy]

59:45 wow that’s good

[@jackiegregory4515]

this is good and true .and something the church needs to take responsibility for is this ..james 1.27 says to visit the widows n fatherless in their affliction .in the greek widow equals women without a husband and fatherless children. to visit them in their trouble having no support from a father or husband having trouble alone,visit means support im coming to you to show i care .where is this program in the church . ??? its missing and you just leave us alone to cope and it says your religion is therefore useless

[@jenniewestforth789]

I thought the point to Joseph was that he had faith in God and God put him into a leadership role, which placed the Israelites into Egypt under kind rule. Then the rule changes, Israelites end up in slavery for 400 years, oppressed, God hears them and moves them(or tries) to their promised land .... It happened because of what he promised Abraham. I'll be honest, I never took Joseph to be a negative considering how God used him to moves his people in the place he needed them

[@scottrawlins8165]

BEEN THERE......FATHER IN LAW CALLS US LAST YEAR STATING HED BEEN KICKED OUT OF HIS APT..HED BE HOMELESS...WE TOOK HIM IN IN OUR SMALL HOUSE..IT WAS A NIIIIIGHTMARE!!! WE FINALLY GOT HIM OUT BUT IT WAS A TOTAL NIGHTMARE. I DONT WANT TO SEE A HAIR ON HIS HEAD EVER AGAIN

[@slightlyimperfect4011]

Single mom of 3 raise my kids put them in Christian’s school sacrifice serve God taught my kids that . Their father still seems to smell like roses and I’m the bad guy 😂😂 I just cleave to Jesus and continue to pray .

[@lizcuero9065]

Herod came from Esau? Yucky yucky!

[@breeherman4457]

all the things that I had itching ear 😂

[@deborahthorp758]

Older woemen are called to teach younger women to love her husband, respect and love her children, this is important and our society culture paints grandparents in a bad light, but shouldn't be in the church

[@littlepixel1650]

Opposite they don’t help they try to CONTROL . Nobody helped with my kids when they were small. Religion and covert narcissist - explains my mother in law. I was walked on for 14 years. We moved away bc my husband can’t defend me.

[@MommyMoniquex5]

@@littlepixel1650Same for me except my husband grew up and now we’ve gone NC with my MIL 🙂

[@LiftingUrVeil-LUV]

Why narcissistic mothers don’t get hardwired when they have kids

[@Necr0Kat]

Valid question

[@jamie01an]

Narcissistic mothers are created, not born. Narcissism is from childhood trauma, it’s a generational issue of unhealthy family systems and immaturity. Our broken sinful world.

[@ExquisitelyPamperedNailSpa]

Unresolved trauma from when they were young children.

[@Alaskathelastfrontier]

Italian 31:58 😅

[@stevethyng8275]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❤

[@lynnmchale1697]

Too late for me

[@shelleyragusa9598]

I want to share this on my public platform but the thumbnail needs to go!

[@hogage9844]

Would be much better without the loud, distracting noise.

[@MsQ275]

I don't hear this....what is the noise?

[@virsapiensfortisest922]

The loud music during the intro portion with the two people before the sermon starts. I’ve thought this for a long time as well. It’s jolting and pretty annoying. Sorry not trying to be negative but since someone else felt the same way I thought I’d share.

[@caramia4483]

@@virsapiensfortisest922fast forward

[@TravelT970]

Great teachings that are relevant to me, but obnoxious intro for sure.

[@C00LMakz392]

Respectfully agree.

[@coolbabe459]

I know it's a joke but I definitely don't agree with the guy in the intro saying apple is better than samsung. Think about it. They used an apple with a bite taken out of it for their logo... giving me Garden of Eden vibes if you know what I mean. Lol.

[@My2sense427]

Please tell the man at the beginning to just be genuine it reminds me of a Bethel college student being slain in the spirit or a headbutt from the Holy spirit what is wrong with young people.Your supposed to be young adults Christian with a sound mind. Please stop trying to be funny don't be like the rest. We expect your church to be different and truly have the Holy Spirit young adults...I say that with love and truth young sister the he he he trying to laugh at his corny jokes and behavior...

[@Witham1836]

Love the messages this ministry is putting out, however, the opening of these messages is loud, chaotic, and very off putting. I was a full time youth pastor for many years, and this is something you would expect before a Jr High / Middle School message. Please stop with the trying to appear culturally cool , and stuff, and let the messages speak for themselves.

[@AJS_Create]

A lot pf people understand this dysfunction and are not religious. The entire psychological therapy community knows these things. This isn't some special religious insight.

[@chrissie3244]

Oh my gosh!! This is terrible!! Will stick to the shorts. It's worse than secular TV. Grow up indeed.

[@chrissie3244]

HATE that disgusting loud music!! This is supposed to be a Christian program. ☝️🙌