Why Dating For Marriage is UNHELPFUL

[@Christotheproducer]

Great discussion

[@lerrylee8711]

Very good discussion. I'll like to date/court with the intention to enter a serious commitment (marriage) with a Christ centred man. My approach, after the chit chat phase, is to establish what the other's intention is (with reference to my previous statement), if the other's intention doesn't align with mine; for example, if our relationship wants are on different paths, then it's pointless investing any more time. Now...if we're both on the same wavelength (end goal, marriage), that's one hurdle scaled. Getting to know the person and compatibility is another hurdle. .. ......in other words, even if both parties are on the same wavelength and they've invested time, that doesn't mean it will end up in marriage.

[@betrothalguys]

Interesting conversation. I think it's important to remember that "dating" is, and always has been, about having a fun time with someone of the opposite gender. "Having fun to marry" isn't going to work. So instead of "dating to marry" I believe single people are better off remembering that it is talking about marriage that makes marriage happen, as the lady in the video has discovered. Make it clear what the purpose of your interactions with the person is. That will drive off anyone who doesn't have the same purpose. Conservative Jews, who place a high value on marriage have the right idea about "dating." They have people they trust look for a likely person for them and vet them first. Then they meet to see how they get along. They already know the goal for both of them is marriage and that they will only get three dates before having to decide whether to commit to each other. Do Christians really want to get married? If so, they need to change up the way they have been dating. I'm not saying do it like the Jewish singles are doing it. I recommend more emphasis on talking to your Father in Heaven than experts. But do be purposeful and commit soon.

[@natschaefer1044]

Great episode guys, learned a lot from this one :) Bit curious about Rob's Disciple Records shirt in the intro montage, is he a fan of the label? I listened to a lot of dubstep in my teens so this feels like a very unexpected crossover haha

[@be_salt]

We'll have to ask him - good spot!

[@Mikaela-i3t]

Are these secular statistics or those who refer to themselves as Christian? It would be nice if men and women were less emotional and more practical regarding marriage. Remember Paul, the Apostle stated it is better to marry than to burn (with desire). It doesn't take that long to know the core of that person. Just ask. Everyone is so afraid to ask pertinent questions and then you waste time. Oh I may scare him or her away. Well then, bye bye. If a person doesn't have it in their mindset to follow Christ and to get married - then bail out of there. A male family member waited 5 years for his fiancee to then be dumped by her because he didn't make enough money to buy a luxury house. He is a really good guy. He confided and said he felt like the girl who waits a long time to then get dumped. As hurt as he was he moved on and the girls he met soon after, he would state what he wanted on the first date and within what time period. He flat out said, 'I'm not going to waste my time'. He found a lovely girl and within a year he was not only married but had his first son. Personally, I think a person who states what their intentions are for putting themselves out there is hot. Flaky people are not desirable to have around. I have met smart, attractive, talented people at school and work who are flaky and don't get things done. They're untrustworthy, lack discipline and self-confidence. It sucks to have them on your projects and team. Being in a marriage relationship with someone like that sounds frustrating. Let's get this chit show on the road and find your spouse. Be realistic. If you're a 5 and you want a 10 then either you need to get yourself in shape, possibly have some plastic surgery, get smart, talented, or rich to attract and KEEP a 10. If that sounds too costly then stick to someone at your level and don't get disappointed when you don't get any replies back on the dating app from people out of your league. Within three months a person should have spent enough time to know if they are a committed follower of Christ, are truly marriage-minded, have answers to major deal breakers (abortion, work ethic, raising children, theological, etc), know if the person is fun to be around, know how that person reacts to pain and disappointment (do they fight dirty), meet their friend or sibling, and pray together. These things don't have to be asked in a formal interview format. Grabbing some lunch and going for a walk to get to know the person as you would anyone else who you weren't interested in is probably a good thing on the first two or three dates. But it should be pointed out before date one that you are Christian and only date for the intention of getting married. Not that if you accept a date that poor guy is now obligated to marry you but that if marriage is not even in that guy's near future plans then you must kindly decline the offer and wish him well. Something that isn't always mentioned is how long to wait to get married as Christians. Well, if you're horny you can't wait long because you could fall into sin and cause someone else to sin. Remember, what the Apostle Paul said (read above). For those who actually have a sex drive, you can find out what you need if you are diligent (background check included) and have an inexpensive wedding and be married in 4 months. Stop the fairy tale nonsense. Don't get into debt. For those who may be in school or live out of state and don't have as much opportunity to spend time together doing fun and boring things then by month 9 you should definitely know if you want this person in your life. Make plans to get married within the next 3 months. Love you all. Father in Heaven, I pray that through your Holy Spirit you guide each and every one of these viewers into Your Will. That they come to know your Only Begotten Son Jesus and grow closer to Him. That they know that Jesus came to die for our sins, save us from our sins, and sanctify and reconcile us to You. That they know that You love us. You wanted a family, children and that You have given us those desires as well so that we can spread Your message of love, forgiveness, reconciliation, and help to bless those who are lost, lonely, hurting, struggling with sin, hungry in body, hungry for truth, hungry for love. Help us to be bold and recognize that marriage is a God- ordained institution. Mankind did not come up with marriage or children. Marriage has a purpose to exemplify the relationship between Christ and the Church. It is a blessing for mankind to have one's own family. Help us to see marriage the way you intended it to be. Help us to be practical and intentional. Help us to obey you in this area of sex and marriage. I know You are not a joykill. In fact, obeying you in this area unlocks immense amounts of love and pleasure that we can't help but tell others to yes, pursue Christ, do the Father's Will, get married, have babies, be kind to your fellow man. Your love, begets love and compassion for others.