Why do I feel like I failed at my illness? - Ask Kati Anything! podcast episode 86

[@hethmcg]

One of the things that has helped me in my suicide safety plan is getting a timed lock box. They make them for cell phones and snacks but I use it for my self harm items. I can put them in the box and set the timer for the night if I am having trouble at night, or sometimes even for just one hour. It helps me because I don’t feel embarrassed having to give my things to someone else, and I have a sense of control knowing that I still have the box and I set the timer. But while it is locked I either paint or journal or listen to music or if things are really bad call someone to talk to them. It has been a huge help to me. Just thought that perhaps this could be helpful for others as well!

[@renamoda5450]

Timestamps: 1. 1:00 2 . 9:08 3 . 11:54 4 . 17:10 5 . 21:45 6 . 28:28 7 . 37:13 8 . 42:42 9 . 53:34 10. 59:16 Cheers!! :)

[@annasophia2005]

Youre amazing!!

[@askkatianything]

Thanks Rena! :) :)

[@renamoda5450]

My pleasure!!

[@ababy6074]

Thank you for being such a devoted therapist and for answering our questions. You do your best to be helpful and you have devoted your life to being a therapist.

[@kylapollard9275]

Hey Kati thank you for answering my question (#9). My psychologist now knows about my eating and SH. She got me to do a task that was art related how I see myself and that’s how I was able to express it. Sadly she thinks I may need to be hospitalised if I can’t get specific treatment. Thank you for everything you do I am very grateful for it.

[@ruanrossouw4916]

But also set boundaries and make it clear when you DON'T want someone to help and if they want to

[@KATHYSFIBROWORLD79]

I get this I've got EUPD and affective personality disorder and fibromyiala and there bounce off each other but feel like I'm failing my self and workers as I can't seem to get right, I did start doing a you tube video for mental health and it kinda helps its like having a dairy but talking to my camera

[@AJOG14433]

Thank you for all you do kati. You help me so much. I appreciate you💯

[@too_tired_for_this]

I was in a treatment program (TMS) and actively engaging in self harm. I had to show them my cute, and the nurse called them “scratches”. That sent me completely off the rails.

[@suzannep]

It's really invalidating when people say stuff like that to us isn't it. I had a similar reaction when I disclosed I used to self harm to a therapist and she asked if I had scars while very obviously looking at my arms, I do not have scars, and this made me feel like it did't matter, it spiraled me into all kinds of feelings. I started to think my experience might not be valid because I don't scar.

[@sparkeli4513]

In reference to question 2, in the UK (I'm sure this happens all over the world) gangs tend to groom vulnerable children and young adults to force them into delivering illegal drugs. They target these people not only because they are vulnerable but also because the likelyhood of police searching a child for drugs is much less likely than an adult being searched. It's known as County lines.

[@elizabethfrootloop7814]

Question 7: could the original poster also ask the counselor for therapist referrals on a sliding scale? They seem really motivated for therapy!

[@marrodriguez8859]

Thank you so much for this. As always! Hope you are doing ok

[@kimadecastro]

Why does my insurance (in canada) only cover Psychologists & not psychotherapists? What's the difference?

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Great episode Kati! Have a great weekend! 😀

[@poohbear0320]

what is the difference between a social worker and a therapist?

[@hannalowercase5928]

their degrees/education focuses are very different from what i know

[@user-ez4vz5lz9z]

Like Hanna said, their education focuses on different things. Generally a Social Worker's role is to safeguard against harm. They work with children and adults and usually are required when their clients are facing a crisis (DV, abuse, etc.). Whilst they can provide some counselling they are not primarily trained in therapeutic counselling/therapy. A therapist is a general term. Here in Australia you can use that term to describe trained and registered professionals who deliver therapeutic interventions (psychologists, counsellors, psychotherapists, psychiatrists). They will deal more with talk therapies and evidence-based interventions like CBT, SFT, ACT and plenty more. Whilst trained to deal with crisis situations and referring clients to services which can help them find housing, get more complex help, get financial assistance etc. they will generally not intervene and assist at the level a social worker will. Mind you, they both will work with basic theories surrounding building a good relationship with their clients which is collaborative and empathic. Some clients will have a treatment team which involves both. For example someone who experiences severe psychosis may see a therapist and psychiatrist but will also have a social worker check up on them every week or so. Here in Australia there can be a lot of cross over with these roles, given the need for more trained mental health professionals. So unfortunately many social workers end up being an informal counsellor, case manager, mental health officer and more (without the extra pay!). But they key difference is that idea of crisis intervention and safeguarding clients from harm.

[@rockchik676]

Ive failed at everything myself, my family, my friends, my partner, my stepdaughter I'm worthless

[@tanhuang_nua]

You're not worthless even if you think you've failed! I know it's hard to feel positive about yourself sometimes

[@rockchik676]

@@tanhuang_nua I am, I don't deserve to be around

[@tanhuang_nua]

@@rockchik676 I hope there's someone you can talk to about what you're going through. We deserve to be around when we try to take action to improve ourselves. It's enough to be worthy. 🤍

[@rockchik676]

@@tanhuang_nua I don't have anyone everyone is either to busy or to stressed

[@tanhuang_nua]

@@rockchik676 Is there a way for you to get into therapy/counseling? Even if not, local crisis text/call lines can be there for you in your hardest times

[@ARK613]

14:55 This is false. The overwhelming majority of major world religions do not teach that "being gay" is a sin. Only the action of engaging in forbidden sexual behavior is a sin. There are many people who both identify as LGBT, and are completely religiously observant. No one chooses their desires. Everyone chooses their actions. It is incredibly hateful and defamatory, to falsely accuse all religious people of emotional abuse.

[@rockchik676]

And I know many people from a religious background and all of them have had to keep their sexuality a secret for years because of the shame and embarrassment they would receive from other fellow religious people. It's not welcomed as much as people think it is

[@adamwells6079]

While it's true that most religions don't explicitly condemn homosexuality itself (though all religious texts are subject to interpretation), there are plenty of judgmental religious people who look down upon LGBTQIA+ folks regardless of what their actual behaviors might be. Conversion therapy is still a thing and it's the religious institutions that are performing it.

[@rubberkiwi1]

"Not all churches..." she didn't group all religious beliefs and churches when she said that. And maybe be curious as to why you got defensive there.

[@horsesrmylife78]

So I’m a Christian lesbian - if I can’t be with women, what is the alternative, then? Expecting someone to live in celibacy, or to lie to an opposite-sex partner and pretend to enjoy being with them, is not okay. I choose my actions, and I choose not to hurt the people around me by faking romantic love that can never, and will never, exist. Jesus never spoke on homosexuality. But he did speak on love. And honesty. And both of those things have led me to be my whole, authentic self, with a woman by my side and God in my heart.