"I can’t remember the first 12 years of my life - What does that mean?" #58

[@nisafinnegan]

*Timestamps:* 2:08 I was recently diagnosed with depression by my therapist, but I struggle to tell people about it. When I have tried to tell people close to me, they seem to care but don't really understand what I am going through. When they ask specific questions about my symptoms and experience, I get so exhausted that I can't even explain what I... 9:12 How can you not compare your weight and size when you have a friend with an eating disorder? I do not have one, but hearing the way my friend talks has caused me to become more self-conscious. I still want to keep supporting her and would love some tips on how to remain body-positive. I've been doing all the thought reframing, journaling, and affirmations but it doesn't feel quite enough. Thanks! 15:26 I can’t remember the first 12 years of my life, does that mean I have been abused as a child? Or could I have just had a very boring childhood? 24:14 Is it best to work on the ‘original’ trauma to begin with, as opposed to working on its ‘symptoms’ individually i.e. anxiety, depression, eating disorder, OCD, PTSD etc in the hope that this will hopefully improve all? Thanks for all you do, sending love from the UK 29:29 Happy Thursday! Do triggers only work when you are in a bad mental headspace? Sometimes I can be around my triggers and be Ok and there are other times when I'm anxious to be around them. Love your podcast! 34:12 How do you know when a relationship is beyond repair. What if you're prone to projection and so you don't know if you're thinking that this person is toxic or not. Particularly in the case of childhood trauma. Thank you, love, from Australia. 40:47 I hope you're doing great. I wanted to ask, do you think talking to a therapist about all the details of the abuse I suffered for 3 years, would help me get over it, or make peace with it. I've never really talked in detail, about the abuse I sustained, with anybody, mostly because it's very hard to do it, and because it happened when I was really little, so there are things that I really don't recall. But, lately, I realized, I do want to talk about it, I want and need to verbalize it, but I don't know how to get to it, even though I want to, I feel like I can't, I feel like it would be pointless. But really, I don't, and I've been wondering if it would help me to talk about it. I hope this makes sense. Thank you for everything you do. 46:49 I haven’t talked to my parents for 2 and a half years because of the trauma that they caused me in my childhood such as emotional abuse and neglect. My sister's wedding is in a few months and I will have to see them there. I’m very nervous about it and I don’t know what to do. The wedding will be small so it will be hard to avoid them. Me and my sister are really close and I don’t want to have to miss the wedding because of how nervous I am. Also, my boyfriend will be there and they do not agree with me being gay. They have not... 55:24 How to prepare for the death of a terminally ill loved one? 1:01:34 I'm asking for a friend who's worried for her privacy: "What is considered incest? Is getting harassed as an adult by your own father so? I'm 24 and I've been back at my parents' due to covid crisis. The other day I was chilling on a couch watching TV as my father entered the room and started playing with my feet. As a child, we used to have this play where he'd check my toes whether they were smiling...

[@nikkimckay860]

Nisa Finnegan. Hello and thank for the time stamps catch you next time 👍

[@MrL1O1V1E1]

Thank you

[@howtoaca7504]

Thank you so much!🙂💕

[@ma-yi9ye]

hi i’d really appreciate if u also make a time stamp for her latest podcast since i’m really busy so please if u can i’d really appreciate it and it’ll help me a lot but if u can’t it’s totally fine and thanks for this time stamp

[@prapanthebachelorette6803]

Appreciate you so much thanks

[@SavedbyGod_]

I’ve noticed myself using the phrase ‘does that make sense?’ A lot lately to my therapist 👀😂

[@BananaMan311]

ME TOO😂

[@75sadiegirl]

Same!!!

[@annafaitdesvideos247]

Sameeee

[@daydrmrofficial1966]

Hahaha Yesss

[@laurenh9678]

SAME. Im trying so hard to stop. I think I’m doing it as an indirect request for validation.

[@christym.6529]

Yes you DO deserve Sean. “Don’t shit talk yourself.” As you always say.

[@janetslater129]

I was thinking the same thing! She would also say to not invalidate ourselves, and telling us that she doesn't "deserve" him is invalidating her own thoughts and feelings. Yes, she does deserve him!

[@anano1015]

hey Kati, i always love your answers to those questions but I was a bit uncomfortable with the last answer. I still think it's the dad's responsability to not look at his daughter's crotch and not the girl's responsability to wear pants around the house or to move out. I don't know maybe it's because this situation kinda hits home to me but I was uncomfortable reading that question. Not that I would call this incest either but maybe it means that the atmosphere at home is a bit heavy and that the boundaries are not very clear. I don't know because we don't have that many details but for me it was not just ' a dad playing'. But i don't know maybe again i'm being too strict about it. It's a very tricky situation. To me this scene is the dad not understanding that he can't be a little girl's dad anymore and not understanding boundaries.

[@janetslater129]

I was thinking the same thing the other day, which I also commented on. It also sounds an awful lot like victim blaming, as she is being told to "cover up," when she was covered. She could've been wearing a dress or skirt and still have that incident happen. What creeps me out the most is knowing the dad was doing a very childish thing with her, regardless of her being a grown 24 year old woman. I hope that Kati will recognize this, and be more mindful in future podcasts/videos about how she responds to these types of questions. As much as I love listening to her podcasts, I do hope she will learn and grow from this. :)

[@aoiyuureisuru7656]

I've been isolating too. My friends are amazing and understanding and helpful but I have the feeling when I'm with them or messaging them, that I'm always self serving. Like I'm using them to ease my mental health. It sucks.

[@melissahatfield2475]

Was I sitting and waiting for you to post..... yesss👏✨

[@alisonprendiville5484]

No matter what the content something always resonates with me...very curious 🤔💜

[@SavedbyGod_]

Thank you so so much for answering my question (Q4) strangely surreal and nerve wracking to hear you read it out, but made me feel hugely validated, understood and heard - so thank you!

[@abbyleedy]

how do you ask questions? Just in the comments?

[@SavedbyGod_]

Hey, if you go on the ‘opinionsthatdontmatter’ main profile page, there’s a community tab where Kati asks for questions for the podcast ☺️

[@davidk.7264]

As a 60 old man who was sexual abused (am now working on it ) thanks for speaking the plain and simple truth.

[@SusieQ78]

Hahaha Resilience Bank... I think my bank got robbed lol. I feel like I’ve made many deposits this past year, but checking my account it looks like “Hocus Pokus, I am brokus”

[@janetslater129]

Haha! I like that! Sometimes, I feel like I'm robbing "Peter" to pay "Paul."

[@TheHuber26]

These videos always come at the best times. Kati, you, your responses, your promptings and ideas carry us through some incredibly tough situations. Thank you for being you! Thank you for such sound advice. You are the best!!

[@beeez_05]

Thank you very much Kati for picking up and responding to question no. 2. You have no idea how happy and excited I become upon hearing the same question that has been bothering me for a while and which i cant seem to find answers anywhere! Thanks for all the insights and I wish you could find time to speak of this in greater lengths in one of your upcoming videos. Thank you very much as well to the person who asked the question, hope you’re okay out there! I know how you feel!

[@TK-nc3ou]

What hit me hard is now I am a parent and I do things that my parents did not: like talk, engage, express love and admiration, sharing fears and surprises and everything. Also just appreciating who my kid is as a person - what he likes, doesnt like, allowing him to be himself. It's such a pleasure :) Just you know sharing emotions. I never had this with my parents and this is not even that hard, you know? So I wonder why they couldnt do that for me. Practically it's sometimes like 15-30 minutes per day of quality appreciation and talk (i am not talking about u know other things u do together, but are not about emotions and appreciation). So my pain is that I think I didn't need that much, I could be helped very easily, I wasnt a needy child emotionally, but I got almost nothing and it had profound effects that i cannot not easily deal with like a schizoid pd

[@clairbear1234]

Kati, I have the same recurring nightmares where I can't lock the doors properly, sometimes it's a scary person, sometimes they are zombies trying to break in.

[@christym.6529]

Your Detective Kati shirt is so cute! “Be curious about it”.

[@Pollekecavia]

I'm sad my question is not in any podcast :( But still love to watch it!

[@nikkimckay860]

Lies. Hello your comment spoke to me and I understand and agree with you and I feel you because I feel the same andxbeen going through the same problem iv been trying last couple of weeks now to get my question though just like you have mentioned sadly it's all down too how meny likes you get I think also if your question has got any comment s underneath your question I feel like I should stop trying I can't understand why nobody gives my question any likes I myself watch all kati s podcast s and get important advice from them but I can't get my question though so I am with you on how you feel my advice keep trying perhaps you'll get your chance x

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Keep trying, I hope you get your question answered soon. She posts at 6am pT on Sunday. There are just so many questions coming in! Everytime I kinda look through some questions there's usually over 250. I can't imagine how hard it is to wait for an answer. Alot of times I'll just read through the questions and find that there is one similar to something I'm curious about. Hugs and love♥️hope you get through sometime.

[@beexkat]

(pls like for her to see, thank you so much!) Yes I'd love more videos, ideas and tools on how to communicate your struggles! (also communicating them if you have an insecure, anxious- avoidant attachment style) I always seem to do it at the wrong time, situation and it never feels fulfilling! And I end up feeling alone, not understood. Also sometimes I am scared that my friends don't really care, they never ask questions..

[@charlie5115]

Oh, shit, guess I have trauma then.. I’ve just been telling myself the memories have disappeared because of depression.

[@BPW6188]

Thanks for another great episode!!! I look forward to Thursdays for this!! 😄💗

[@jenniferh.7219]

One of my issues is that I've explained I have no roots for self esteem. Or at least it's based on performance & transaction. Such as If I can do something, I am a person. But if I can't do something I'm not a person & don't have self esteem. Why is it that I dont receive a response when I've identified not having roots for self esteem as one of my main issues? I'm aware of some of my qualities and strengths, but this does not affect my esteem.

[@kavleenmarwah4373]

Thank you so much Kati for answering my question ❤️🙏

[@macollins1234]

You DO deserve Sean!

[@bill88694]

I agree. I the way you guys talk to each other (and bantering) and are respectful to each other during the podcasts!

[@stream_terapia1166]

"I had a black dog, his name was depression" and "Living with a black dog" by WHO are great videos and describe living with depression in a way that everyone can understand it. I can't recommend them enough and I think everyone should watch them. Great psychoeducation.

[@kiskillilla223]

"I Had a Black Dog: His Name was Depression" is a book by Matthew Johnstone. There are also other books by Matthew Johnstone, like "Living with a Black Dog", a book written for those who care for those suffering from depression - friends, family members, colleagues, and even therapists.

[@SuperTed.]

For children maybe.

[@Lisa-xf5uf]

Kati, psychedelics we're so very powerful and healing for me. It healed my trauma in the most beautiful and loving way

[@monkeyboy19761]

When i was adopted I vowed to myself I would forget everything b4 that point. For the most part it worked.

[@Ayesha______]

How to prepare for the death of a terminally ill loved one? Holy crap this is such a relevant question for me right now. My great grandmother passed away 3 days ago and at the moment I don't actually feel anything, i mean I love her and miss her but I can't really cry like everyone else. This is my first time experiencing the death of a loved one and I just don't understand.

[@scribblemoose]

That sounds like the numb period Kati talked about. I was the same when my husband died - my therapist said it was like my brain wrapping me in cotton wool so I didn’t feel the pain all at once and get overwhelmed. I found it wore off over time, and then the tears and emotion came in waves, like Kati described. I’m sorry for your loss.

[@Ayesha______]

@@scribblemoose thank you. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss as well, I hope it gets easier for you and for everyone who goes through loss 🖤 Also how long did it take for the tears and emotion to actually start flowing?

[@Em99957]

Kati, I love your videos but I think you missed the mark with your answer to the last question. I don't think the solution was to just move out, or wear clothing all the time and not be alone with them. Seems very invalidating. She should trust her intuition and know that if it feels wrong there is likely a reason. She also mentioned that he appeared to be trying to move her leg to see more.... I hope she knows that she's not overreacting and that she should trust her instincts.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Yay! I've literally been waiting for this to post! Hope your week is going well Kati!! I need this breather right now! Been a long couple weeks! Home from hospital but too weak, all I can do is bare minimum! Listened to Brene browns episode Unlocking us with the writers of " burnout and the stress cycle" last night! My therapist assigned it to me.i know I've heard you mention it before but all I could say was Wow! Powerful! Love and hugs from South Dakota!♥️🥰

[@lisasnoozy3749]

As far as nightmare flashbacks, they are very different from regular nightmares. I can relate to the panick attacks in my sleep. Alot of times they are like broken pieces of a story or kind of puzzle. Alot of recurring ones. And the more stressed I am the worse they are. Especially if I'm having alot of daytime flashbacks the nightmares are worse. Also with nightmare flashbacks I have alot of physical pain and sensations. I often feel what's happening more in my nightmares than daytime flashbacks. I hope this kinda helps explain a lot bit more to the person with the last question. Much love and hugs to you all♥️

[@chaikanal4162]

but are your flashback nightmares chunks of memories or just terrifying scenarios which never happened? in my case (i asked the last question) i have different scenarios that all never happened to me, but the storiy lines are very similar: A person comes closer and wants to hurt me sexually. I always freez in the dream and then wake up paralyzed. Does this sound like a "normal nightmare" to you?

[@lisasnoozy3749]

@@chaikanal4162 mine are very real and fall in line with facts that actually happened. Verified by others. I just am explaining how they are for me. And flashbacks are memories that actually happened which is why they are so much more terrifying. Because at least with a normal nightmare or bad dream etc you can wake up and be like, oh ok that was scary, but with flashback nightmares you wake up and the terror doesn't go away because it actually happened and although I'm an adult now and these things happened between 5-15 years old my brain still has that fear it's never over. There's not that relief you get when you wake up and realize it's ok, only a dream, I'm safe. At least this is what it's like for me. My main abuser got out of prison last year after 26 years and even though I'm 44 years old I am struggling to get back to feeling safe again.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Also I think that at least getting into therapy and exploring why you have them even though you know they didn't happen would really help. There may be something else going on in your life that is at the root of your nightmares that you might have never considered. Especially when you keep having the same scenario over and over in your nightmares. Like Kati always says it's good to be curious and having someone to talk to about it could help give you alot of insight you might otherwise miss. I wish you the best of luck! Regardless of the reasons behind them they seem to be causing you enough distress that seeking help is a good idea!

[@chaikanal4162]

@@lisasnoozy3749 I am so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for your answer, I think it helped me understanding this topic better

[@lisasnoozy3749]

@@chaikanal4162 thank you, that's so kind of you to say. I'm glad I could help♥️

[@Mixtape-rh2nq]

About the 3rd question. I have a few memories from school and daycare but nothing really from home. It is like my memories from home is built on pictures and I don’t remember it. I have never been close to my family even though they are nice people. I had food, clothes and even my own room. I have always felt as if I’m not good enough and that I am wrong. I don’t fit in with them and they deserved someone better than me. I wondered if it is possible that I repressed those memories of home because I don’t want to remember everything bad I’ve caused my parents and sister.

[@tinesess3521]

Wow. Reading this was like reading my own thoughts. All I can say is that..man I can relate.

[@martynatrzcinska6533]

01:05:00 "If we're uncomfortable with the lack of clothing... we have to put more clothing on". Don't get me wrong, I don't want to invalidate anybody's feelings but this made my day

[@poisonivy745]

i think it's the wrong take. Like if the dad knew she was only wearing a long t-shirt then why would he start trying to play with her legs? I've been told since I was young I couldn't wear shorts around the house since my brother/father/men were there. And that's so creepy bc my mom was insinuating that my brother and father would look at me in a sexual way bc of the way I dressed and it was on me to prevent anything... instead of them not sexualizing a family member. And I know so many other women who were told the same things growing up...and I'm an adult and still get told that when my male family members come over? It's just so fucking creepy. I think men should be taught not to touch women or sexualize them.

[@animal_cookie]

@@poisonivy745 I agree, the explanation took me by surprise, but I think that was because we're so used to hearing that message, that women are responsible for not "tempting" men. But I'd like to give Kati the benefit of the doubt because she's always been a strong advocate for sexual assault survivors and I've (personally) never heard her victim blame, and there is so much nuance to this question and more info needed. I don't think she was saying OP was responsible for not tempting their dad, rather responsible for themself? idk if that makes sense. I think of it like when my parents would be moving me out of my college dorm, they were really uncomfortable that women were walking from the communal bathroom to their room in only a towel when "dads were in the building". My take, and I wonder if this fits with Kati's response, was that if the other women weren't uncomfortable, then they had a right to be in our home in a towel. And my parents didn't have to look or could stay in my room if they were uncomfortable. However, if someone had said that my dad had to stay locked in my room, despite it being move out day, because they were uncomfortable walking around in a towel around my dad, I'd probably push back on that. I know the two experiences don't map well onto each other, but I didn't want to use OP's story because I don't feel like I'm in the right position to do so. I'm curious what others think too, I thought there would be more discussion in the comments.

[@poisonivy745]

@@animal_cookie yeah, I don't doubt Kati's at all. She's always advocated for survivors.

[@hannalowercase5928]

@@poisonivy745 EXACTLYYY that is such a weird fucking thing to teach girls

[@AmethystWoman]

If the word "you" is in your apology, it's not a real apology. "I'm sorry you misunderstood what I said." Which means "I'm sorry you are stupid." Never include the word "you" in any way shape of form and don't find a way to blame them without the word. If there is any blame, it's never you being sorry. It was a great lesson from a friend. Ha, I thought I invented "doorknob issues." Lol

[@janetslater129]

I can see how the "you" statement in an apology can be misleading. What suggestions do you have for reframing that question? My initial thought is something along the lines of "I"m sorry for the confusion," but it may not be one's fault that the other person may be confused.

[@Mount_Calculus]

Would you do a review on the movie Inside Out from a therapist perspective?

[@_maia_m]

In connection to your answer to the last question - maybe you could make a video about nightmares/ptsd nightmares? Is there a difference between nightmares in people with ptsd and c-ptsd? And are ptsd nightmares always obvious flashbacks?

[@maayan0990]

About the first question, I just went to my first therapy ever yesterday(tbh I went bc you Kati made me feel like it’s okay to go, so thank you 🙏🏼), and the psychologist said that I should go to see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed with depression. I thought that any therapist can diagnose patients, can’t they?

[@maislazkani8577]

They can tell you if they think you have depression but they can't diagnose you medically and you can't get meds for it if not diagnosed by a psychiatrist

[@annascott3542]

Neither Psychologists nor therapists can write prescriptions, only Psychiatrists can because they went to medical school are medical doctors. However, psychiatrist do not do talk therapy, So I ask you how you are but their focus is medical. So if you choose to take medicine, like antidepressants you must see 2 separate entities, at first, but if you choose stay on your medications longer than 6mo to a year-The normal amount Overtime it takes to start repeating yourself in therapy to talk about- than a psychiatrist is sufficient. Also you can choose to not take medication which some people do, the Psychiatrist is not necessary. If you do choose to see a psychiatrist and get on and I depressants I would highly recommend you make sure they do DNA testing so you don’t have to do trial and error to find your rights in a depressant for your body. Hope that helps, It’s kind of a burdensome system.

[@annascott3542]

Sorry about the typos for some reason I can’t edit or delete that comment from my phone but I think it’s still relatively clear by what is said hopefully!

[@maayan0990]

@@annascott3542 thank you for your answer! it seems like you truly understand the topic, how do you know all of that? after I told the psychologist I went to how I've been feeling, she immediately asked if I've thought about medical treatment and said I could go see a psychiatrist if that's something I want. what did you mean about the DNA test? English isn't my first language so I'm sure I understood it correctly- did you mean to take the test so I could get the best antidepressant for my body? Also, I think I'm reluctant to go see a psychiatrist because they might think that I'm doing okay, I do give that impression, I think. Especially since I've been feeling okay this past two weeks, so I don't know if there's even a point in going to see a Dr about that. What do you think?

[@maayan0990]

@@maislazkani8577 thank you!

[@eangie35]

I just love her, wow how I wish she was my therapist : )

[@ralfwashington1502]

@16:15 (main video question)

[@simsalabimdubistweg]

Just what I needed.

[@sandyb2523]

Katie, I find that I don't think I am worth being a friend because others are worth knowing and i am not

[@universeofluis]

Some great advice

[@shahadsalem3233]

hey kati, can u make an episode about OCD. my best friend have been diagnosed with it recently and I’d like to know more about it.

[@Akanchwua]

Great questions this week👌🏼

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone and hope everyone s coping with life and there Mental health best they can I seem to always miss these live podcast s now so I'm watching them sometimes later in the day or the next day seen the question s list I can always learn and find out new things about other people s health issues though there questions lastly nice top kati looks like a minion quick thing about me my weeks been rough and stressed and struggled with my health can't wait to get some help take care people

[@elizabethbed649]

Hey Nikki :) It’s good to see you. I’m sorry that you’re having rough weeks, I really hope things will change for better soon. I know it’s hard, I’m struggling too. Sending you a big hug Nikki xoxo

[@kalinabozhkova5655]

I’m interested into the memory thing too I think I’m suppressing memories from my childhood because of unstable situation in the family My dad was abusive

[@elizabethfrootloop7814]

I’m autistic (and also transgender), 48 years old. I agree there is tons of stuff on autism that is really dehumanizing, including the abstracts on most autism research articles. Please reach out to me if you would like any specific thoughts or opinions on this matter as you prepare your autism video. I can sign NDAs as appropriate. Btw I find listening to AKA to be soothing in difficult times.

[@christym.6529]

I pre ordered your book on Amazon too!

[@n2da9]

I know I have depression, and I have been having extreme anxiety over what is wrong with me, and I feel like I’m faking it and I am just being weak

[@emmajean2386]

I feel you!!

[@alisha2327]

Your voice is really soothing 💯👍👍👍👍👍👍👍😀

[@julissaparra1638]

Thank you for that “lo siento” moment 😅🇲🇽

[@beegee5305]

Whatever fires together wires together!

[@liberavitluna8530]

looking forward to the polyvaglal theory video!

[@aaronyandell2929]

Kate, you should check out a small game called To the Moon. A major theme in that game are memories and trauma.

[@ma-yi9ye]

please answer me a few months ago i woke up after i felt someone pull my fingers and when i wanted to see who it is( i thought it was my little brother) there was no one and i was screaming but i couldn’t move or scream and i figured out it was sleep paralysis but then a while after i dreamed about a little boy breaking into my room and if i tried to scream he would scream to my face and i was so scared i felt like i was 7 again and i couldn’t scream or move in the dream then i dreamed about my parents being under control but it wasn’t their choice and if i talked about it i would get killed? and then today i dreamed about me suspecting that someone replaced my parents and i slept in the dream and while sleeping in my dream i was trying to wake up but i couldn’t move or talk or wake up but when i did my whole body felt a big relief. why am i having such dreams when i haven’t had a scary dream in years.

[@ralfwashington1502]

I have no clue about meaning but are you on any new medication or natural supplement for mood? When I take a supplement for boosting my mood (increases serotonin) I can get weird vivid dreams. Usually I don't remember my dreams but when I take the supplement near bed time I have crazy dreams..... My guess is you feel not in control in your life but that's just a guess. If you do take any new meds I'd strongly suggest that as a starting point for the dreams.

[@ma-yi9ye]

@@ralfwashington1502 nope i’m not taking any medication for anything :(

[@ralfwashington1502]

@@ma-yi9ye oh well then I'm not sure. Hopefully someone else here can help. Good luck

[@whoami9225]

The question that has to do with not remembering the first 12 years of your life, you said to do some investigation to be able to fill in gaps. What if that’s not possible? I was trafficked from the age of 4 until I was 17 when I was “rescued” and got out of the situation. Till this day no one has been able to find my biological family so I don’t know who I am. So obviously I’ve had trauma but how do I get those memories back when I have no one to ask? I hope it’s ok to ask.

[@ralfwashington1502]

I'm not a shrink but I've heard of shrink hypnotists. Instead of making you do whatever they say they actually dig into your subconscious while you are under a transe. I never went to one but I have heard of them. It doesn't matter if you remember or not if it happened they might be able to bring that up while you are hypnotized. Being a shrink you will be protected by HIPPA laws and they should know how to deal with any emotions that are there (ideally) or hopefully be able to bring the memory to light where you can see a different shrink about it. Again I'm no doc but have heard of this generally speaking and it MIGHT work. Good luck! And wow sorry to hear that happened. God bless

[@75sadiegirl]

If ya have any questions about dealing with a teenager (boy) on the spectrum let me know! Hormones are great...not 😁

[@mt8582]

For anyone wondering if it's worth the work , Emdr really works for trauma!

[@lisasnoozy3749]

My therapist asked me about it awhile ago but I didn't really understand it much. I'm still at the point in trauma therapy where I often have to write it down in my journal and give it to her to read. Saying it out loud often sends me into disassociation back into the flashback and sometimes it's difficult to bring me back to the present. Is it possible to do EMDR when I'm still at this place? Just curious. I'm so exhausted.

[@mt8582]

@@lisasnoozy3749 i thought it wasn't working because i would disassociate , and she would often have to bring me back to life, so to speak. Also we did it in a way that i didn't even have to say anything. She would must bring up an experience we had talked about before and tell me my story back to me, and tell me to imagine that I as an adult is protecting my child self while that silly buzzer was in my hand. Ridiculous but those things we worked on just don't bother me anymore

[@lisasnoozy3749]

@@mt8582 wow that's amazing.! Right now I see her twice a week, sometimes 3 times and she calls on Sunday nights to check in on me. I usually write down a flashback about once a week or so because thsts all I can handle right now. We are also emotion regulation right now. I've spent my entire life stuffing my emotions in and not allowing myself to feel them and man oh man feelings suck! So everyone of them is really overwhelming. Thank you for the information, I think I will ask her again about the EMDR and see if we can try it.

[@mt8582]

@@lisasnoozy3749 it sucks to feel when the majority of feelings are negative. But after emdr, not right after, it took a few weeks, i started feeling again, and it's great! Life is so much more enjoyable ! It's great to FEEL joy with the great things in your life, and just feel the breeze, instead of just KNOWING about them and knowing that it's good. What I'm saying is, it's worth the hard work.

[@weronikaklamka6208]

What if the trauma is still happening, what if it never ends and you're just destroyed by it, day after day

[@VidalesJorge]

I feel you, I was trapped in it for 16 years before I could get out, try your hardest to leave, meanwhile as Kati said, treat the simtoms, treat the depression or what ever else, just until you can get out. Google r/cptsd, they have helped me out a bunch

[@weronikaklamka6208]

@@VidalesJorge thank you, I'll check it out.

[@n2da9]

I have trauma, how do I bring thing up to my therapist?

[@ChronicallyCassidy]

Write it out on paper and let them read it

[@GEKENILWORTH]

I was interested in the information about memory. I've always had very detailed memories from about age 3 or 4. My grandmother was the same way; she remembered everything about her childhood, including details about the night her little brother was born--she was three-and-a half. Is this sort of memory genetic?

[@Martin-wt3sr]

Still havent started therapy 😒 I have schizophrenia & bipolar disprder, personality disorder & on top of that i smoke & it fucks with it. I forgot who my family is & they look at me weird. I feel like i can have a seizure by thinking all these crazy thoughts (when i do have thoughts) I forgot how to think & remember, im kinda just stuck in the moment. . Soon ima forget what words are. The silence is loud asf & it makes me nauseous & ill feel like throwing up. Thats like 1/4 of my problems. Anybody have any silmilar experiences ?

[@maislazkani8577]

Who diagnosed you?

[@dreamagine]

I don't have similar experiences, but why have you not started therapy yet? If you can, I think it would be good for you to get into it.

[@Martin-wt3sr]

@@dreamagine my psychiatrist told me i was gonna start soon but its been like 4 or 5 months

[@priyao5097]

Is it possible for all memories to disappear except for small frame of time (say, the amount of time you've interacted with your abuser)? I keep replaying the small window I was forced to be around them over and over again in a loop to the point my identity before and after has been completely worn down. What does this mean? Is this PTSD?

[@Nikki-sf6bs]

I have memories of my childhood, all trauma ones. I wish I could have trauma amnesia.

[@Psyxhotic]

I don't know where to ask this. But have you gone through therapy with someone with aphantasia (not able to see pictures in their mind) and how do you tackle them differently? I have aphantasia and feel weird knowing sometimes I can't really see images in my head and sometimes it hurts not being able to relive memories without seeing a picture. I can only feel the memories but not see them.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

I know Kati talked about this in a previous ask kati anything. I just can't remember when. Seems like it was within the last few months.

[@The.Logbook]

Hii Katie! How are YOU👆 I am kind of okay... tomorrow is my last day at my current work project:( But everyone is not even bothered:( So feeling kind of weird.

[@huddlespith]

Hey just a note to say the thumbnail says #57 instead of #58 😊

[@askkatianything]

Nice Catch! Fixing it now. TY!!!

[@kimadecastro]

Cool sweater 😎

[@tiarnataggart6186]

ur so cute at 29:33 I like that lil voice it reminds me of the welcome voice

[@johnnyguitar7921]

what if i feel my memories have been implanted, as it is done to the Replicants ?

[@tonkjuli]

Kati, I love listening to your podcasts and appreciate your opinions and knowledge. However, the 9th question, I feel like you were victim shaming/blaming with your answer. Like yes we all know that it is different when we are adults, but saying she should have pants on as an "answer" to her valid concern seems very miss-placed. I don't think you meant this at all (at least I hope you didn't) but it definitely came across as you saying, well, if you would just cover-up, then you won't feel comfortable.

[@diablominero]

I lose (or maybe just fail to form) memories of sufficiently boring things. I think that might be from ADHD?

[@ASLCoach]

Pediatric Iatrogenic Trauma.

[@Mocoso7]

@1:00:00 Solution = wear pants. And yes that sounds like he is a bad person.

[@BudFuddlacker]

The microphone tone is so damn irritating, I can’t listen to this