Why do I test my therapist’s boundaries? AKA 95

Ask Kati Anything mental health podcast episode 95
1. I’ve got a question about boundaries. Why am I testing the boundaries of my therapist? I don’t want to do it but it’s just happening and I get irritated at myself for doing it. Do you have any tips and do you get annoyed as a therapist when your client is testing your boundaries?
2. I hope you’re doing well! How do I appreciate the happy moments where my depression disappears when all I can think in the back of my mind is ‘when will it get bad again’
3. How can I stop idealizing my therapist? I really idealize my therapist and keep telling my t how much I love her and how I never want her to leave me. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with it but my therapist seems so perfect to me even if I know on a rational level she isn´t but I´m so focused...
4. I am in counseling for depression and anxiety. However, I find I have a strong reluctance around getting better. I think there are a variety of reasons - depression defines me, so without it I’m not sure who I am, and it gives me a lot of excuses as to why I’m not successful or more active. When I am...
5. I am curious as to how you would prepare your clients/patients for when you were out of the office for a vacation or such? I mean, for those going in weekly, are there any tips that you provide for coping if a session cannot be held weekly? I have weekly sessions and the idea of not going in...
6. I was wondering how to stop being sick on the day of therapy? It can be hours after and I’ll be sick every time without fail. I don’t think things are going too fast but I’m now getting nauseous when very anxious too. I don’t know why this keeps happening? I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis for ptsd by the way. Thank you for all that you do
7. How do we move past our trauma when we have to return to it? I had a very traumatizing experience at college over a year ago, and I had to withdraw from school this year after trying to return because it was too overwhelming. I feel like I can’t return to my dream school because of...
8. I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I'm wondering how does one not get so dependent on their FP (favorite person). I'm very dependent on this person. Whenever they are in a bad mood or upset it makes me in a bad mood or upset.
9. Could you talk more about the less common symptoms of OCD? I will re-do things if it doesn’t “feel right” or have to touch the surface of everything before I place anything down. I find myself not being able to NOT do it. Sometimes I don’t even know what the “obsession” would be because...
10. I was wondering about thoughts of self harm. I got really focused on an object. I wanted to buy it. I didn’t hurt myself but I really wanted to. Now I feel shitty. Like I fell and can not get back up. How can I feel better when situations like this keep happening to me. I haven’t hurt myself since...
#1 0:28
#2 9:15
#3 16:04
#4 27:45
#5 40:11
#6 44:03
#7 46:47
#8 51:40
#9 58:30
#10 1:06:57
Timestamps courtesy of Riley :)
#podcast #psychology #katimorton
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mental health awareness boundaries in therapy cognitive behavioral therapy coping skills author kati morton

[@suzannep]

1:14:07 I was curious about the little jump cut... and now we know... LOL This was a perfect ending 😂

[@rileyr6879]

Time stamps: #1 0:28 #2 9:15 #3 16:04 #4 27:45 #5 40:11 #6 44:03 #7 46:47 #8 51:40 #9 58:30 #10 1:06:57

[@askkatianything]

AMAZING! Adding to the description now. Thanks Riley :)

[@progressivedragon6664]

Katie, you are such a blessing to all of us in this community, thank you for continuing to share your wisdom your compassion your bubbly personality and your vulnerability. You literally save peoples lives

[@cariinaa1423]

Beautiful words 🥰 couldn't have said it better

[@Kay-ce1ls]

Question 10: I just needed those words! I always feel I need to be happy if it goes well without self-injury. And then I find myself cutting again and it feels like I've missed it so much. So thank you for clearing things up! It made so much sense. Thank you!

[@sjtjr2000]

I kinda think of a therapist as a coach or personal trainer. I absolutely "test" the boundaries my personal trainer. When he increases the weights (or reps) and I try to argue back. My personal trainer says it's because I don't know how strong I am so he enjoys "challenging" me.

[@nancyliawoods]

Thank you Kati, I just deep cleaned my living room and got half of my garage cleaned too while listening to a few of your episodes. I find it very calming and soothing to listen to you, I value your content, dont ever stop ❤

[@lanamay1836]

thank you so much for answering my question (#9) and offering your insight! I’ve been watching you for five years now and this means so much to me. I love this community ❤️

[@cjaykus]

Wow. This is probably the BEST AKA episode ever...!!🌟

[@hannalowercase5928]

question 4: YES, YES, YES. i experience the same thing!! OCD has been such a huge part of my identity for myself and for others since i was a kid that i find myself holding it close to me and not wanting to get better sometimes, even though i do.

[@christym.6529]

Thanks Kati! Super helpful as always! “Sean there’s a spider on the table.” 🤣

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello Kati. and happy Thursday to you just clicked on my notification. hopefully this is still live . Been ready and waiting for this new podcast all week your podcast .And everything you share and the advice you give is always helpful .and your voice is always calming to my mind it's always good to read the question s and see what people have asked you. and of course best part is hearing all your surpporting and careing advice you share with all of us. I always appreciate you and the time you put in to doing these podcast ☺️

[@raywood8187]

Thank you Kati for all you do and no, crawly things, you don't get to ask Kati anything!

[@LessThanThree76]

They way that I see the.”testing boundries” thing is, that since I’m too scared to tell my inner thoughts and show anger to friends or a partner (since they can leave me), it’s much safer to ”take it our on a coach, boss, therapist etc. Because they can’t just leave.

[@TheSevenLands]

Yep, three years of trauma therapy heightened my gastrointestinal symptoms and other body symptoms that les to a Crohn's diagnosis!

[@linguavenandi]

Cant wait to watch!! Love your content Kati! You’ve really helped me (and I’m sure others) these past few years with your content. Thank you

[@kylapollard9275]

Thank you Katie for this. I’m wondering if anyone might be able to help me in conjunction with the testing of boundaries. Why do I feel like I need to try and push my therapist away? Like I’m seeing where she’ll decide to drop and leave me. Could this be connected to emotional abuse in my childhood? Or could it be something else?

[@poR2020]

I literally lol @9:39 🤣 Yes, depression sounds exactly as such.

[@yunhee93]

I'm goings back to school too even though I have been traumatized but I am also taking classes online.

[@RCStableSteven]

Great content! Experiencing these.

[@cariinaa1423]

Thank you so much for this podcast🤩 you really help alot🙆‍♀️

[@askkatianything]

Happy to help!

[@cariinaa1423]

@@askkatianything i laughed so hard when you included the Outtake with the spider! I can relate so much😂

[@micaelalmeida1997]

Question number 3 is for me!😅

[@nikkimckay860]

hello people iv met before and new people iv yet to meet. I use these podcast s as a way of meeting new people and talking to new people. sharing our love for all that Kati dose also the Kati community .when ever I feel that things feel worse or I feel worse I write in the Kati community page .I also share things in the comments I'm glad to meet new people who go though the same as I do we all need these podcast s take care people

[@yunhee93]

Did she meant neurodivergent too?