Why Do Narcissists Overlook Evil?

One of the most disturbing traits any person can have is the propensity toward evil. And yet, it seems not to bother narcissists. Dr. Les Carter explains how they so commonly see themselves as victims that they lose all perspective. This means they will not be a good match for someone committed to common decency.
If you are interested in online therapy, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. Go to our sponsor betterhelp.com... for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help.
Sign up for Dr. Carter's course: Ready, Set, Connect
courses.surviv...
Get 20% off when you use the coupon code: rsc20youtube
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his KZbin channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
Join the Team Healthy community HERE: survivingnarci...
Check out videos, articles, quizzes, and more at our website: survivingnarci...
You can follow Surviving Narcissism on:
Twitter: @SNarcissism101
Instagram: @survivingnarcissism101
Facebook: @survivingnarcissism101
Dr. Carter has two other courses that you may find to be useful:
Free to Be: Reclaim & rediscover your uniqueness survivingnarci...
This Is Me: Setting boundaries with the controllers in your life survivingnarci...
Dr. Carter's personal website: drlescarter.com/
Dr. Carter's other KZbin channel: / drlescarter
Bookstore: survivingnarci...

[@meow2u22]

Narcissists not only have given up on life, they're also hellbent on taking you down with them.

[@mariajessielocklear8246]

YES 🙌🏻 They don't want to burn alone 🔥 Ohhh but GOD is faithful to save IF you so choose 😇 Stay in a space of love; that may mean staying FAR away from them!! Stay safe people of God🙏

[@bobbarker1798]

So true!

[@Stubbornclarity]

​@@mariajessielocklear8246that is profoundly true. Thank you. God bless you 💛!

[@dixsigns1717]

Well said

[@scentsoftravelmeditation]

They’ve made their peace with going to hell but will dedicate their lives to ensure you go with them. Instead of using all of that energy to escape misery and hell and go to paradise It’s the same mentality of Satan, the father of the Psycopaths

[@WisconsinWanderer]

When narcissists look in the mirror they see themselves wearing a halo and it’s you that has a problem

[@wolfling2039]

That is so very true.

[@lynnchastain8224]

I told a Narc once, you are not talking to me, you are looking in a mirror and talking to yourself. I saw that on another Dr. C video in the comments.

[@spaideman7850]

my malignant narc mum literally uses the church as a sin-cleansing-machine(confession). so, she is the 'most holy' while you are the most evil. do nasty stuff(smear campaign, triangulation, fake stories) to you but expect you to come begging for forgiveness

[@aaronkwolfe]

They don’t see their behavior as evil. But mine? Oh, yeah.

[@dakoderii4221]

@@Teacher369 1 Timothy 4:1-2 4 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

[@meow2u22]

They see their own evil in you or me.

[@joehernandez6260]

Ain’t that the truth

[@angelanicoletti3330]

@@dakoderii4221 ,Amen.

[@dakoderii4221]

@@Ark-ys2up Genocide was tribes of giants. I guess you want to be ritually eaten by giants since you're so upset most of them are dead. The slavery was protocol for the whole world. Slavery started to be abolished with white European countries who followed a Christian belief. first in the UK then in the US then the rest of European countries. So it appears you want slavery to still be protocol for the whole world if you hate the book that brought an end to it(except for many African, Middle East, and Asian countries that reject Jesus). You are the type of fool who asks questions but doesn't want to know the answer. You just want to cause strife and contention then act like you're the victim. All too common in people who can't admit they are not perfect and some of their ways are wrong and causes harm to the body and soul. You only have a limited time here on Earth then the judgment of your life. Might want to start using it wisely.

[@randomcertainty2079]

It's the smirk on their face when they hear bad news or demeaning information about others. It's the joy they feel when others aren't experiencing a desired outcome. It's an, 'your on your own' conclusion when you need moral or physical support.

[@RatedArggg]

The gleam in their eyes.

[@ellie_j.]

They feed off the misfortune of others, it's a surreal thing to witness!

[@CherokeeTrails]

Oh, "That Smirk" is pure wickedness

[@CherokeeTrails]

It's not from this world!

[@nyxcin1]

@randomcertanity2079 Schadenfreude. It means taking pleasures or satisfaction in someone else's misfortune. My younger sister loves other people suffering. She likes it better if she created the circumstances that result in someone's misfortune.

[@gypsyfaded5907]

In biblical times, the word "meek" was not defined as "weak". It described one possessing great power and also the wisdom of when to use it. Narcs don't possess wisdom. Stay strong! 💜🐾

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're on point.

[@carpathianken]

It concerns me that people misinterpret the biblical saying "Blessed are the meek" as meaning that a meek person behaves like a weak doormat. I kind of feel like an example of meek is when Jesus could have summoned 12 legions (72,000) angels to come & defend him to prevent him being attacked & ultimately crucified, but Jesus was committed to his main purpose & faced the adversity alone. I suppose another example of meek is when an incredibly powerful person could retaliate or attack one of their adversaries when given the opportunity but they instead control themselves from doing so. So in other words I agree with you. Meek doesn't mean weak, if anything meek, to me means the opposite of weak, because you choose to do the right thing rather than overpower those that you can.

[@gypsyfaded5907]

Yes. Good job elaborating on this too. Sometimes it's more powerful to leave the sword in its sheath!

[@susanbennetttellstales7998]

I'll enjoy giving that some thought. Thanks.

[@darinsmith2458]

When I think of evil I think about a spiritual battle..

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That makes sense.

[@mday3821]

I think it's right. God said, "We are not in battle with flesh & blood, but is Spiritual."

[@darinsmith2458]

@@mday3821 Yes

[@nsyln]

​@@mday3821A spirit resides in a person.

[@nsyln]

​@@mday3821 A spirit resides in a person.

[@l.5832]

Narcissists surround themselves with enablers and call it 'self care'.

[@lynnchastain8224]

Flying monkeys

[@carefulcarpenter]

Something rings a truth bell in your statement. Nice one!

[@lynnchastain8224]

@@carefulcarpenter I had a neighbor for 2 months who threatened me and got me evicted. She flapped her arms just like a flying monkey I kid you not.

[@carefulcarpenter]

@@lynnchastain8224 About flying monkeys: I wrote creatively on a messageboard with over 55,000 members. I had the most red dots ⏬. Every once in awhile a mean girl group would swarm my thread with all kinds of false innuendo and accusations. ☺ One thing a narcissist despises is a creative genius who is also kindhearted. I never returned their monkey doodoo with hate or revenge. They only win when you play their game. "IGNORE is the root of ignorance." Keep learning.

[@meow2u22]

Narcissists overlook evil because they ARE evil.

[@MPR2007]

indeed they are the devil himself 👹👺

[@didirobert3657]

BINGO!! Like attracts like! Look at Trump and his crazy supporters!

[@stephenpaul3289]

I think theyre possessed by a Demonic force

[@scentsoftravelmeditation]

Not evil, but the ultimate evil

[@spaideman7850]

maybe the demons need to learn evil lesson from them(narc)

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

To put it in terms of the stages of Kohlbergs moral development theory: They are firmly stuck in the First stages of moral development: Avoiding Punishment/ Self Interest (as 3-7 yo olds).

[@mlgcpe1918]

Exactly. Thank you for this clarity. The narcissist I encountered stated EXACTLY this! The narc got traumatized around that age. Never recovered. When narc became an adult, sought therapy, and got traumatized more. Basically, they snapped and lived the "Fxck it" life. My recovery is teaching me that most people are not born evil narcs; they are CREATED by their environment. Doesn't change or stop the devastation I experience(d) & having to recover myself.

[@Pollycat15]

Had not heard of this theory, but just looked it up and I can see exactly what you mean!

[@WaterWonk]

Cool screen name! "Everything flows"

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

@@WaterWonk Thank you*

[@craftyhobbit7623]

Perhaps, but I remember being more compassionate as a child - I was more into supporting charity work (particularly for people) when I was a child, but when I was around 10 years old and through my early teens, there were a number of deaths in my family (natural ones, all illness related) and I closed myself off to that compassionate side. It's not gone completely but wanting to help folks was stronger when I was a kid - the final death that really changed my outlook was losing my mum. A narc is stuck in the aftermath of something traumatic that happened to them and they let the pain from boil over into the actions they do all the time after that. You can become more indifferent, but not be the one inflicting pain and destruction - you can still be disgusted by it and not excuse it when you see it, but the willingness to help isn't there as much as it was.

[@MT-tx7bu]

My experience with my narcissistic parent: They carry a lot of internal baggage that they haven't work through. They have been told that what they do is more important than who they are. They don't know who they are. They look towards others to give themselves a sense of purpose. They devalue you if they think you are representing them. Your care and concerns are seen as pity. They talk badly about others (including you). They won't take accountability. They will throw you under the bus to save themselves, then play either the victim or purposely forget. They point out flaw in others. When their ego is challenged, they become hostile. They are more concerned about how they look then how you feel.

[@BaraSchmidt]

It is hard for us to see our own darkness. It is a non-start for a narcissist. That ship will never leave the harbor.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You make sense.

[@aaronkwolfe]

I see my darkness. I hate it. But it is mine. But my energy goes to bringing light. Light overcomes darkness.

[@BaraSchmidt]

@@aaronkwolfe Me too. Part of the challenge is separating out the fact we are not responsible for their darkness. Didn't cause it and can't fix it.

[@aaronkwolfe]

@@BaraSchmidt Wow. That’s been the one I’ve struggled with for the last several months. Fearing that I was the cause of her flip from covert to malignant. I’m still not convinced, but doubling down on bringing light helps.

[@spaideman7850]

'hard to see' and 'totally refuse to see' are two different thing

[@georgegavallos4519]

“Disposable “ yes I said no more to emotional abuse in my 38 year marriage. She refused, as advised by our Therapist for a Psych evaluation. So she discarded me like a piece of trash. No remorse. Yes…. Evil. Dr. Scott M. Peck wrote about these evil people. In his book :“ People of the lie”.

[@georgegavallos4519]

Truly. It opened my eyes to the evil. But at the same time terrified me. I don’t judge, but pity these people. I feel sad for the path they are on. May peace be with you in your journey. 🙂

[@l.5832]

Giving you what you don't want and withholding what you do want. My husband exactly before I divorced him. Even when I suggested activities that he would enjoy and have fun. Nope.

[@spacegirl226]

Mine did the same as well. When I did tell him what I wanted, it was apparently too much, and he continued to give me what HE wanted me to have.

[@carpathianken]

That's why boundaries don't work with narcissists because the passive aggressive pieces of crap use your boundaries as something to focus steamrolling over & then feigning ignorance when you have to keep reinforcing those boundaries with more strict & no nonsense assertiveness

[@mday3821]

My mother did the same thing. Withholding important information...lying to me...never there when I needed her most, making me believe I was the bad person! She loved to cause me pain.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

Me, too.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Im so happy being separated

[@gypsyfaded5907]

You can learn a lot while on your own! Best wishes going forward

[@karreevaughan4674]

Happy to hear, won't be long for me, counting the days.

[@karreevaughan4674]

Thank you Dr C this video couldn't have come at a better time. Just dealing with some of this last night, he was being awful, and I made the mistake of saying can't you just be nice. He said "I don't know where you think all these nice people are. Where did you come from people in the world aren't nice" I told him I didn't believe that, I have encountered many nice people in my life. But then I remembered who I was talking to, that I was wasting my breath. Again thank you Dr C ❤

[@BigBros.Breaks]

It gets easier every day! Especially cause they don't see the issues with their behavior. They lie about us, not realizing the truth is apparent to those that can see. It just takes a lot of patience, cause they know how we would have reacted when they had us, and they assume we can't get past it. Thank God!!

[@christalmay2680]

I can’t help it. Gus looks so sweet and cute with his face in the couch. 😊He’s sleeping so good!

[@silethaking279]

He is knocked out❤️❤️😄

[@kimrobinson6285]

That's because he's heard it all and has mastered the art of life! ❤

[@DH-tp1it]

My ex recently died alone in a field. Alcoholic and Xanax user. Raging narcissist/sociopath. Lost everything -crazy. He said multiple times the whole marriage “if it wasn’t for your mother, I’d be on the dark side“ and his other quote was “I enjoy making people, miserable“ -absolutely sad and foretelling of the future. I went no contact 10 years ago. He has left a financial disaster and did our daughter in with fake college loans. So glad I’ve been divorced for four years and separated for five years previous. Legally everything was out of my name. These are truly evil devils with no soul. He had a wonderful wife and daughter and career. He chose to destroy everything. His mother was a raging narcissist. I wish I’d known better. The whole family was nuts and narcissistic. Sad that I married into it not knowing. Run as fast as you can from these people - true evil!

[@kathrynrealhealthtalk910]

They judge everyone else's "evil" but their own.

[@jeankipper6954]

How often I wished that they had other hobbies besides "teasing" me to tears.

[@cymbolichuman433]

There's a fine line between love and hate... If someone says they love you but treat you like a thing to mutilate, they don't love you.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

People who overlook their own evil and apologize for evil on the behalf of others have given up on life and first on themselves. And doing all that in the name of Love is beyond any order.

[@jakehays8926]

they will hide behind religion. They will act like they care for other by praying for them or something just to get the focus off of themselves.

[@ReRe_642]

Aww Gus is so adorable Dr C

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

The pessimism is exhausting. I've done a lot of shadow work. Not easy.

[@nyxcin1]

Schadenfreude: Taking pleasure or satisfaction in someone's misfortune.

[@t_nels]

Interesting!

[@carefulcarpenter]

There is a lot of that in comment sections. They refer to it as "destroyed them". Usually a devaluing of another's opinion, but sometime just plain old name-calling.

[@t_nels]

@@carefulcarpenter Would it be envy in english?

[@carefulcarpenter]

@@t_nels Interesting question. Maybe someone fluent in English and German could answer better than I can. I know a narcissist envies, and desires to be envied. Schadenfreude sounds more evil than simply envy.

[@t_nels]

@@carefulcarpenter True, so what would be it's equivalent? Seems it would be harsher than kill joy.

[@texaspatty458]

They see evil clearly , it just doesn't pertain to them . They see you as evil though . It's their own evil they perceive in others .

[@teresacamp5739]

Exactly! He can watch a movie where someone does something awful that he does all the time and calls them a piece of 💩 without noticing it’s exactly what he does.

[@MarianneCatherine]

Mine does the same thing!!! 😮 Absolutely no self-awareness!!! 🙄

[@jeannedouglas9912]

Good point

[@25N77]

When I first glanced at the title of today’s video, I read it as… WHY DO NARCISSISTS LOOK EVIL? I need to slow down and look closer.

[@Hatbox948]

My nex did sometimes look evil lol.

[@learningpeace9788]

Don't cast your pearls before swine, let they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you!

[@caroleminke6116]

😉

[@Stubbornclarity]

I had to learn the hard way! And the repercussions are hellish!

[@hestercastlemansa2976]

I agree. Dealing with a narcissists is definitely a spiritual battle.

[@nighredemption]

“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.” - Proverbs 26:11

[@dixsigns1717]

@@hestercastlemansa2976 truly

[@southernsandgroper3423]

Absolutely 100% correct. I’ve been on the receiving end of an entitled narcissist who aimed to pursue me through the legal system with their manipulation and lies. The pursuit was so intense, it sent me to hospital with a stress related illness. I would never have believed a Christian could have behaved so abysmally, while also constantly proclaiming they were the victim. Delusional. A couple of years on and I’m still dealing with the fall-out from the situation.

[@sharynfoster3255]

Hi I have known evil people and it’s mind blowing the damage they can do. I wish you a better brighter future. Stay in the light!

[@roxymovie3938]

Evil in the definition of "the willingness to inflict pain and suffering upon others" How does a person go into the space of evil? 1. A victim's mindset > The world out there is bad. > Lots of pain and hurt inside > "I have to be better than the bad ones!" 2. They include individuals in broad generalizations 3. They are in constant compensation for fear od irrelevance > "I have to be dominant because then I get attention from you." 4. They specifically give what you do not want > "I win in making you lose!" 5. To them, goodness is weakness 6. Fear of being replaceable, unnecessary 7. A profoundly negative worldview Be aware: 》People who overlook/apologize evil have given up on themselves and life 》They onload shame/devaluation onto you for they need to destroy you 》To them humans are like objects/tools 》》Maturity arises from examing your shadow self (suppressed feelings, wounds, fears, what you do not like about yourself) 》》Tend to your needs seperately 》》Allow yourself to grieve 》》Pull away and practice self-care Dr Carter 👨‍🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Great summary, as usual, Roxy! Thanks.

[@roxymovie3938]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thanks a lot, Dr Carter! And as usual, you are quite welcome. On this video, especially with this subject, Gus 🐶 was extremely relaxing. It's good to see that he is feeling much better now 😊

[@nighredemption]

It's also a double standard. If they do evil, it's okay with them. But if they see someone else doing the exact same evil, oh boy it's NOT okay with them.

[@wordswordswords8203]

Exactly. And it's like the must intellectually know that it's the same but somewhere along the line they have a huge disconnect.

[@jaykay3839]

Giving you what you Don't want: Yes! My husband always makes mistakes when ordering our food. He "forgets" we had something scheduled. He "forgets" to order something for a birthday or holidays, all the while insisting that he'll "take care of it". If you insist on doing it yourself he acts as if you're a big meanie for implying he can't do it.

[@wordswordswords8203]

I like how you call them out as EVIL. It's so great not to sugar coat what these people are. Some people say that they are "bossy" or "opinionated" or "natural leaders" or "damaged" or "neurotic" or "a mixed bag" or whatever. But what they do and how they harm others is pure EVIL. thank you Dr. Carter for continuing to put out excellent content about this ongoing pervasive problem in so many of our lives.

[@notthatvashti8127]

This is such a valuable topic. Having experienced the 'overlooking evil' conundrum, I have many times scratched my head as the person on one hand is proclaiming how much they love you all the while allowing others and themselves to trample and devour you. The biggest gaslight ever! I long for the day when mankind no longer has the need to dominate and control each other! Thanks Dr C!

[@scentsoftravelmeditation]

I can never grasp how someone makes a conscious choice to be evil, over & over again. Evil is the opposite of anything positive. It’s the ultimate root of insanity, misery, failure, misery, darkness and everything bad Why would somebody want that just to go to hell for eternity is beyond me.

[@cst4747]

This is an excellent picture of this dark behavior and you know it when you feel it too! It's painful. Glad for you Doctor C and those like you shining light on the path!

[@cookiemama4]

You really can feel it when you walk into a room or house where they are..

[@Teachk146]

​@@cookiemama4and then you can tell, it's coming!! Mine would always turn it around on me and say he was in a great mood until HE got home and I was being so negative... When I was just watching TV, after teaching all day... Yes, you can feel the negative energy!! My dogs would skulk away and hide. My Velcro pup would climb BEHIND me on the couch. Then he would say he didn't cause it, or he'd say, they're fine!! He would INTENTIONALLY do the things I've politely asked him to not do certain things because it upset either me or the dogs, or me AND the dogs. I could tell... Because he would start doing those things more often. Just like a little kid would do to get a rise out of someone. It's just sick.

[@cookiemama4]

@greggraham9567 It feels like depression when you walk into a room. Yes, dogs can very much feel and sense the tension just by the person coming into the room. They feel YOUR pain in it too.. I wish people wouldn't hurt people..

[@AffectionateSeaOtter]

They reach their 'success' by climbing on others' back.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thats the absence of love

[@laurenlowery5799]

Thank you for validating all of the frustrations, hurts, devaluation, confusion one has when dealing with an evil narc. It is heartbreaking. I am 73 and my sister is 87. It took me this long to go no contact and remain no contact. I kept going back because I wanted a relationship with her, wanted to be a part of her family despite what she had done to me. Then there was a "last straw". She has put a knife in my heart so many times over the years. I feel ashamed that I was not strong enough to go no contact and stay no contact sooner. Now I have peace, no drama. However, I am working through the immense anger I have for her regarding what she did to me, our mom, her 5 girls....she is truly wicked.

[@snowbear1877]

I am in the same boat, except that my sister's two sons and her husband all side with her and see me as the problem.

[@bobbarker1798]

Narcissist are evil, sadist.

[@snowbear1877]

@@annemariegodden A tribe of narcissists. That's a good way to describe them. It does seem like a toxic system, a toxic culture as in many organizations.

[@snowbear1877]

@@rwdchannel2901 Thanks rwdchannel. I am so glad that you are in a better place now. I still have contact with my sister but only sporadic via email, SMS or Facebook. I haven't seen her in 16 years and I probably won't see her again. She will be 80 in June. She refuses to see me unless I also see her husband which I think is a ridiculous and controlling demand. Especially since it has always been two against one, and he has never had a good word to say about me. She has even accused me of bullying him by exclusion! I have offered to enter family therapy with them but their response was 'definitely not'. That says it all, I think. I wish you well on your journey.

[@CamCam-mq6ji]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know what you're going through. My heart goes out to you.

[@Hatbox948]

My ex narc always blamed his ex wife for their divorce, and for his alienation from his sons. But, the reality is that he was/is a serial cheater, and he was never there for his boys. Now they want nothing to do with him, and he plays the victim. He'd whine to friends about how they neglect him, etc. He can't see beyond the lies he tells himself.

[@aaronkwolfe]

I’ve had severe pause to any new relationship since my discard. I got a list of 10 questions to ask during “getting to know you” phase and #2 is “How did you contribute to the problems in your previous failed relationship?” An answer of “None” is a red flag.

[@michellepurcell8703]

I couldn’t believe the cold dark pupils of my ex when he cruelly discarded me after 8 years together . So sad to realise I never really knew the real him 😢

[@wolfling2039]

You’re so much better off.

[@malwads1836]

He actually did you a BIG favor even if he had malicious intentions🌞👍.

[@prechagirl]

Same here. The sadness over not really knowing them and not understanding can be overwhelming at times

[@lanaivanovic5272]

I'm sad too. 😢❤

[@gigiarmany4332]

the doggie in the background sleeping so peacefully💖❤️you Sir are spreading more world peace & serenity with your soothing voice & wholesome knowledge then any body else I can imagine..God bless you & all your loved ones💖🖤

[@preparedsurvivalist2245]

My narc claims I am morally bankrupt because I follow IG accounts she doesn't approve of. Yet she beat me in front of our young children while they screamed in horror. But in her mind that's perfectly acceptable, because remember, it's OK to do despicable things to others as long as you've unilaterally decided you don't like something about them. That's Narcissism 101.

[@patg.7192]

Thank you Dr. C. for saying, 'allow yourself to grieve'. I most certainly am doing that! Great to see Gus again too!!

[@spacegirl226]

Evil is easier than being good. I've thought about this a lot lately. When you think about the state of the world, politicians, what you read or see on the news, evil is everywhere because it's easier to have evil running wild than to exert all the effort needed to stop evil. When good, righteous, moral people look at the world around them, they see evil winning, flourishing. We struggle do to right, when it could be simpler to have no standards or morals. It makes you wonder "Why do I bother?" I saw a quote a few weeks ago that has haunted me. I think about it often: "Battlefields are littered with the bodies of good men." You'll never see a narcissist on a battlefield. Never. If these good people could come together despite our differences and push back against this evil, we would win. Our cause is just. Thanks, Dr C!

[@obscurum6]

I agree that if good people came together there would be a different world.

[@malwads1836]

We can't change the entire 🌎 at large...But we CAN create change within our own home ultimately.The more of us that raise our own families in a healthy manner...The more we WILL impact the 🌎 in a positive healthy way like how a water drop creates waves in a cup.🌞👍

[@obscurum6]

@@malwads1836 Thing is if that were true how is it that the narcissists have made the world in their image. We can change the world, not just our home, narcissists think they own the world and you're suggesting just letting them control the world.

[@fred.k9875]

In the battle of defeating evil arm yourself with love ❤️.

[@malwads1836]

...& also arm yourself with this knowledge too😉👍.

[@cheryllryan8440]

Because that's a large part of who and what they are

[@jds6964]

My narcissist mother can do no wrong in her mind. However if the children and the husband are not praising her enough then they are so in the wrong. I look back at the "family" meetings that we used to have when I was a child. All it was was a means for my mom to rage against everyone else since we not praising her enough or doing enough for her. Any minor issue was blown out of proportion. My mother likes to say "I love you with all of my hear", yet she has zero empathy for anyone but herself. I had a very close personal friend of mine pass away unexpectedly. She never once asked anything about my friend, never asked about his celebration of life service or how I was doing. She has also become an alcoholic. Then she wonders why i do not want to visit her on Christmas or on our shared birthday.

[@wisdom_may]

This spoke to me in volumes...thankyou so much Dr.C,, I needed to hear this validation.... absolutely it took me a while to accept ,they really need to do the opposite of what you want or ask for....With Family and close nightmare relationships.....what you want out of your life is going to be sabotaged at all costs.. but I have also experienced this with people in power positions..like police, doctors, and even total strangers that you ask for help with something just making sure they don't get told what to do...its like its an insult for them to get asked to do something and they see it as a challenge or like they are at war 24/7 with total strangers even.... .....I had a primary care for ten years......we did a cortisol test for the course of a week...where it was clear that when the narc was near me my cortisol was beyond high...she never discussed anything with me she never documented the results..she never documented anything I said about what trauma I was dealing with...... to me she was a narc protecting the other narc...the way she treated me was a total 180 ... ....I have experienced this with total strangers ..Especially when I said "the previous person did it this way can you do it like this? when a narc finds out that someone else already didn't do what you asked...they doubly don't want to do the right thing...its like they don't want to lower themselves to help you if no one else did it....its so bizarre....and these are total strangers....but this is how they all think..".heck no "!!! you aren't going to get you way ,! ",not while they are in charge.. This is a topic that I hope begins to branch out ,,we need more awareness of truly how much narcs just want to sabotage anyones lives they can...Dr.R said the narcs. are one in six people....about five years ago..the number was one in 10-15 people. I wonder what the true numbers are? I think that and this is just my opinion...that the numbers are 60/40.. with 60 percent of the population being cluster B..and only 40 percent of the nation is truly not dealing with narcissist or sociopaths or they are survivors...its really an epidemic....they are the stick in the bicycle wheel that throws you off ....I wish they could just disappear if you ask me..

[@bobbarker1798]

I agree totally. They are currently the majority and they're meaner than ever. Including medical professionals.

[@JamesTrouten-t6z]

Thanks for your services. I have been watching your videos off and on for the last 5 years. I have never realized how I have been put through a blender yet today I catch myself very often not wanting to deal with it at all. Yet I know you're right about getting with good people. Which gives me a chance to breathe. Thanks again for all your help on to others. Have a blessed day

[@Lola-mt1ne]

I recently met someone I used the term 'evil' about. Shocking.

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

Thank you so much Gus and Dr. C Team Healthy LOVES YOU BUNCHES. From JANESVILLE, WI

[@kimberlys.7097]

Dr. C that color is so flattering on u. Nice shirt!!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Why, thank you!

[@janethopkins8947]

Perfect picture of my often charming, articulate sibling.

[@wordswordswords8203]

This is very good. My whole family is evil to varying degrees. Don't sugar coat it or try to whitewash it in an attempt not to look at the harsh reality of who you are dealing with. It's traumatic and very painful to realize that someone who should be there for you and love you is not ever going to do that, but it's better to just accept it and get them out of your life. These are very dangerous people. They will literally kill you, even if it's just by the stress overload they put in your life, and they will take no responsibility for it or show no remorse. Good luck to everyone out there dealing with narcs

[@skywithdiamonds5109]

My dad and i were talking about the actor who played the dad in Beetlejuice. He had been charged with csam. My dad made the comment about it not being as bad as him doing those things himself. My dad also wanted people to believe he was the most moral and wisest person. They often tell on themselves.

[@ia9259]

My parent asked me when we were just disagreeing on something I don't even remember "do you want to destroy me?" It didn't make sense but to my parent it did I don't get the anger or the resentment what have I done to deserve that?

[@heavenlyhell9288]

My claim is that the vast majority is evil

[@sharonboehm5296]

Noone is good. Genesis 3 states this clearly.

[@rossanderson5243]

On another post I see 1 in 6 are narcissistic. All conflict is in the story of Cain and Abel. Jealousy is the fear of not been perfect and the ego seeks perfection. Only God is perfect and He is merciful and been forgiving He is the wisest. Forgiveness is what we need to mature so our judgement is true. To judge means to make an informed decision, so you need information to make a decision. It is God who knows everything.

[@CamCam-mq6ji]

You clearly don't know narcissists - these are beyond anything that a normal person would encompass.

[@cookiemama4]

@@CamCam-mq6ji ⁉️

[@mrknoklene]

I think narcissists come from narcissists. They learn it, simple as that. They learn this: right or wrong doesn’t matter, truth or lies doesn’t matter, all that matters is power and control, tactics and strategies, strength vs weakness, war. They believe everything is war, and so there are no rules. Because it’s war. That’s their world, just war, nobody is safe, and hierarchy is the law. They miss out on love, imagine that. Poor souls 😢

[@mikelockhart5528]

Agree. They miss out completely on what life is about. They go around constantly looking to make others miserable so that they can feel significant.

[@mrknoklene]

@@mikelockhart5528 Yes, but also cowering, defending and sucking up to those they perceive to be «above them» on the power hiararchy

[@justmeandmyrucksack]

The father of lies was Satan, so The Bible says and narcissists are nothing if not liars of various manipulative abilities. I truly believe the war is right vs wrong, good vs evil. The malignant narcissist is the most vile.

[@elijahjustice1470]

I know of so called family members who exhibit many of the traits that the doctor describes. Unfortunately, some of that mess has grown on me, even though I have been fighting those sark forces for years. The thing is their lives are a complete mess.

[@justmeandmyrucksack]

Since I was a little girl and asked my mother for things I wanted or needed, she would say ask your father (Mom was housekeeper with no outside employment). When I asked my father he would say "Oh, you want that, huh? Life's a bitch and then you die." I stopped asking and talking with him eventually.

[@Stubbornclarity]

Glad you stopped talking with him. Sounds like a heartless individual who refuses to love and be loved. Pathetic.

[@Stubbornclarity]

@@rwdchannel2901 sounds like he's a broken man. :⁠-⁠(. Deeply unhappy and reaping the consequences of a cold and dark heart. He needs prayer. Otherwise he will burn in hell forever.

[@malwads1836]

​@@rwdchannel2901I know it's not a competition but...My sociopathic narc father recently croaked suddenly from cancer due to a nasty melanoma patch on his skin that he didn't simply get removed years ago so it eventually spread to a bunch of his organs, melanoma generally has a very high survival rate unless it's let go way too long.I told him a few years ago he should get it removed when it started getting larger & weeping but he just said "I'm not letting those idiots touch me".😳I swear you just can't make this 💩 up,many of us would likely be great at writing the scripts for comedy movies with all these hair brained things.Glad to hear you're staying away from your dad & his abuse👍.

[@justmeandmyrucksack]

I couldn't wait to get a job and get out of "his" house, as he always reminded everyone it was. there was no family there it was just people living there, and it all got worse during those teen years, and after, and for decades. Ignoring him does not work without being able to remove yourself from him completely there is no peace. by the time he was dying he was an absolute manic one man horror show. @@annemariegodden

[@justmeandmyrucksack]

from there the emo abuse got so much worse. you cannot just ignore an NPD and still live with them. No Contact is the only way, which I did as soon as legal age. i was his scapegoat, and the entire family's scapegoat. @@Stubbornclarity

[@mariajessielocklear8246]

We love you Dr. C 🙏 This message is poignant and timely 🙏

[@miriamring1082]

The EVIL that comes out of my 50 yr. Old son actions ,body language, eyes when he goes into his evil tyraid(sp?)-- I fear! This only surfaced exactly 4 yrs. Ago------So-called furloughed from job (21 yrs. There) however, (I feel) he was confrlnted by a new boss.......never called him back after pandemic---now will not look for a job... I'm at wit's end!!!!!?

[@janetfreetobeme5721]

Dr. Carter...thank you for your videos. Viewing them has helped me to heal from a 47-year horrible marriage. This video resonates with me. No emotional intelligence is a fitting description along with a negative view. Funny, his mother told me from a youth he was contrary.

[@catherinewilson1079]

Hi Dr Carter 👋 I am very glad to see that you are finally addressing the issue of « evil » . This was the part of the narcissist that was just SO scary to experience. It is the part that took me a LOT of reading about and understanding to finally accomodate in my mind. I would like to bring up one further point; they KNOW that they are EVIL. When I first met my husband he knew that he had to HIDE that side of his character from me, and did so until I was well and truly under his control. When I asked him after a few years to come to church with me, his response was; « I am not good enough to go to church ». Thank you again for your work❣️

[@DevorahTafus]

My mother constantly defends people when I say anything about them, and I've told her she would have defended Hitler if she was there. She denied it of course, but some Germans were unaware, or claimed to be, and she would have been one of those unaware people. I would have informed her but she would have said "How do YOU know?" as if I couldn't know anything she didn't. She defended a man when I told her he patted me on the rear end when I walked by, at church. She said he didn't mean anything. When I asked her what about it was okay, would she like it if he did that to her, she changed tactics and scolded me for bringing it up in front of other relatives. I always thought she defended people because she refuses to gossip and defending them is the opposite, or maybe showing mercy to people so she will be shown mercy. Do you think there's a different reason?

[@WaterBug46]

The world is out to get them. H once said he became a military officer so that no one could tell him what to do. I thought that very strange but had no reference. Now I do. Wow. Thank you Dr C

[@obscurum6]

In the military they have to do what they are told to do. 🙄

[@cherylsavage6178]

Good word yes it is good to be grateful for those who go out of their way to help you. Even if you are a bit stuck there are always someone around you that needs a big hand up.

[@visualapologetics4891]

My husband can point out every tiny problem with other people and other things, but totally glosses over the very corrupt morality of his own extended family. His family is good, and everyone else is bad it seems. But these are major character flaws that he overlooks, and makes excuses for. he would never overlook this kind of behavior and other people outside of his family. I have heard just a little about narcissistic family clusters-or cults-maybe that’s what is going on here.

[@julienatoli8561]

Excellent video Dr Carter ... sadly I can relate 😔 ... Thank you for being you and for always, ALWAYS reminding us to choose a healthy alternative, ... which is the way of P E A C E. 🙌✝️🕊️

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Julie.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

I was on the receiving end of a malignant narcissist who tried to destroy me. He admitted to me that he had no respect for me, that I was beneath him and he didn't see me as a person but rather an object. When he decided to discard me, I was never prepared for what he revealed to me - what his true self was. It was terrifying and I'm still recovering.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

I'll be on the motorway on the way back from Essex. Will watch later 🙏💕

[@aaronkwolfe]

Missed you in chat, but understand. No wheelies! Lol

[@Hatbox948]

Be careful!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Thanks guys. I'm home. Will watch on "tape delay". It was lovely to see Stu 🤗

[@dosso9958]

The narcissistic I know attempts to justify the actions of historical figures who are considered evil.

[@Hatbox948]

Huh? You mean like Stalin or Ghenghis Kahn?

[@jasmineflower9879]

They are AMORAL & IMMORAL !

[@begonia6446]

Narcs cant see themselves!

[@wolfling2039]

They refuse to see themselves. They can’t bear it. Sad really.

[@venus22118]

So true. This vid covers some very important stuff, IMHO 👏 👍✨️

[@pauladyer9845]

After I have another encounter with an abusive individual that is just like you describe, I watch one of your videos. I avoid contact as much as possible but they wait and strike suddenly…out of the blue. I feel my reactions are one of surprise…tho it shouldn’t be …but I use the mature tips you give…just say to myself…I saw that again…I grieve and move on. Your advice helps me to cope with evil…thank you.

[@tmo.48]

This was an EXCELLENT VIDEO TOPIC ❤❤❤. Thank you!!!

[@SandraMuller-vs8ck]

Thank you so much for all the support in educating me on this undeniable mental issue. My reflection of thought through this scenario has made me feel very blessed to heal from this awful traumatic experience and move forward. God bless you. ❤

[@TheChange2024]

Thanks for this it's helping me to understand what's happening to me sir respect ❤️

[@PixieCropCircleDuster]

Omg! Thanks so much Dr. Carter for this life saver! I was starting to justify narcissistic traits in myself as defense to narcissistic abuse. You're are a really great healer... Thanks

[@mireadossantos4610]

When they look at themselves they only see perfection nothing else. Others around them are the ones with all the faults that they don't see in themselves. It's exhausting to live with or around narcissistic people.

[@susanbennetttellstales7998]

Oh dear Gus at 6.38 - just when Dr. C mentions "contrarian". Such expression! Gus, we thank you!

[@jefferylennerth9908]

This video makes the most sense to help me with leaving my narcissistic wife soonest. Thanks so much.

[@hestercastlemansa2976]

I still find it hard to wrap my head around these evil individuals. I was with one for 7 years. I finally got out on my 3rd attempt. It's been 4 months and 12 days now. I had to fight through 2 not so vicious hoovering attempts and a 3rd, very vicious and manupilative one, that almost got me down. Thankfully I am over that now and recovering. Again. I wonder how many more attempts? Thankfully I am getting stronger and wiser after each hoover.

[@Escapegoating]

The stronger a man is, the more gentle he can afford to be.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Well stated.

[@MaurettaDecker]

The smirk the i love and care while you are literally dying in front of them personally and society im not perfect i could ne ver see anyone in pain thank you dr and all comments for easing my pain love is here real and strong onwards and upwards all you shining heart s❤

[@mikebott6940]

Mr. Carter, while I don't enjoy saying this, it's like you were reading my brother's playbook.

[@Warmhack]

Very helpful, insightful

[@mareeamor3596]

Oh yes, yes and yes! They are definitely not examples of the three wise monkeys. There are prime examples of this currently on the world stage, and for me personally with a narcissistic relative who revels in being evil. 😢

[@TheeyeOftruth-yx2np]

This was absolutely tremendous DR Les, You're absolutely beautiful, Thank you so much for this, I had a bad childhood and I don't play victim and take it out on everyone else, If someone does evil, Does wrong, I won't repay evil, I will be glad not to be like that, as Marcus aurelius, Says in stoicism, I shall remain true to myself, Have authenticity and integrity, Compassion, Shine light and speak truth, Peace, love, Respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 😃🌈🌌🌌💚💜💙💛❤😊🐎☘🐉🌲✌🌞🦁🦄🕊😇🐶🌷😘🌹

[@lovecyril999]

Dr C, your videos keep getting better and better at helping me see the truth of what I was involved in. You helped me to get out and I will always be grateful.

[@RG9r0n1n]

Vulnerable side... Is that why onlookers always look for it? When it's very much been present the whole time with select individuals?

[@cheeksmcgill9858]

Dr. C, you are so right and clear about the Evil, it's sad. But knowledge is power isn't it. Thank you.

[@lesliesavage9229]

Good video. One of your best. We need to understand what is going on, before we can deal with it. Even if that means no contact. Videos like this help.

[@marmaladesunrise]

Thank you, Dr. C. You truly ARE "The Terminator!" Thank you for terminating that narc troll. 😉

[@Omoroka1]

I can tell, they are Master of Manipulation, very good actors and very good liars. But not always successful with that, yes they suffering too, they have feelings, but their feelings are corrupted. So sad. Even demons have feelings, but they are corrupted ones.

[@judystevens6039]

They want what they want when they want it go against them and god help you it becomes the silent treatment for months or years 😢

[@MarianneCatherine]

I'm not that lucky!!! ☘️😄

[@judystevens6039]

@MarianneCatherine I'm so sorry my 60yr old son is the one causing havoc with myself and family I'm 80yr old its so hard we have all walked away he gave us no choice

[@MarianneCatherine]

​@@judystevens6039 I pray that all goes well for you and your family with this big change in your lives 🙏. Wishing you peace and happiness as you move forward! ☘️☘️☘️

[@neohabilis7412]

it is always so comforting to have a few minutes with you. thank you for the love and guidance you have given me.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are so welcome!

[@DevorahTafus]

Gus looks so cute today. At around 6:35 minutes in, he raises up and flops into a cute position!

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

I'd like to know why people around then condone it.

[@pamelamoore6239]

To keep the peace and because they know they can't/won't change.

[@malwads1836]

Cowardice &/or dark traits within themselves as well...🤔The people that tangle with narcs over the long-term aren't healthy either & it's why many of us are in these communities trying to heal in the 1st place.

[@davidk2906]

I have heard this saying through the years: "It is evil to call someone evil.". Also I have read on social media it is immature to call someone evil. You certainly have to be careful who you demonize. Calling out a somewhat a bit of a corrupt politician as evil is is an example of condemnation and binary thinking. Malignant narcissists are certainly evil people though . Thanks

[@malwads1836]

Some people really are that bad...If the shoe fits,let them wear it!👍

[@danettelewis8002]

Unfortunately my 34 yr old daughter who is an addict is the narcissist. She's using me and gets to because of my guilt when raising her. Therapy hasn't helped me 🤔

[@aaronkwolfe]

She senses an opportunity to shift blame to you for everything wrong in her life. Own up to what is true (apologize for newbie attempts to parent), but discard that which isn't. Poor choices made by her, are hers.

[@wolfling2039]

Therapy hasn’t helped you yet. Keep at it. YOU decide your outcome. Don’t blame your daughter for using you if you allow it. YOU allow it. Guilt is from hell. Literally. So is blame unless it’s true. Don’t enable drug abuse. In a way, it’s abuse to enable someone to destroy their life. You aren’t helping her. Helping is putting your foot down and making her live with the consequences of her addiction, which is her choice. It’s the only way she’ll get clean, when she hits rock bottom. Don’t mix up love with helping to destroy someone.