Why Do Some People Go Off the Rails After Awakening?

... And others don't. Here is the key difference.
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[@sevilaycandemir5205]

Engaging content. I've consistently felt driven to contribute to humanity's greatest pursuits, aspiring to wield influence, power,secrets to perfect health and security. Recognition has been a persistent desire, not stemming from pride or extravagance, but from a deep sense of identity and purpose. Internally, I yearn to delve into the depths of human understanding, seeking knowledge reserved for the select few. My aspiration is to embrace the enlightenment that our predecessors fervently wished for us to attain.

[@MichaelLuisi]

Your emotions are completely understandable; after all, you're only human. If you're truly seeking enlightenment, you can attain that and much more by becoming a member of the Illuminatus. While it may seem mythical, there are genuine avenues for entry available to you.

[@sevilaycandemir5205]

Oh yeah? Is it actually feasible to become a member? I've always believed it's reserved for individuals of a certain socioeconomic status.

[@MichaelLuisi]

Yes, that's deliberate; it's what they want you to believe. For a deeper understanding of the matter, researching Radiant Reservation will provide you with greater clarity and facilitate access to exclusive organizations.

[@sevilaycandemir5205]

That's fantastic! Thank you very much for the recommendation. I've just Looked up RR and droped a message already.

[@pandmantom]

The best damn advice I got was "the sooner you emphatically accept the self, the sooner the no self arises. The sooner you empathically accept the no self, the sooner the self arises". I.e. no duality of self vs no self 😄. Thanks teach :) and Shinzen Young who taught him

[@rulamazigi5839]

I finally see that that’s exactly why I got stuck. I have been unwilling - until now 5 years after that so called “spectacular awakening” - to actually face the shadows, the anger, the pain, the imagined persona which opposes the truth of what the mind actually says which the persona pushes down to act appropriately in society according to the imagined self proclaimed “I’m nice, I’m compassionate, I’m good etc.”The anger and grief and even violence within is bubbling up to the surface and coming to light. It started about a year after the honeymoon period but I rejected them and avoided them by sitting in ‘bliss’ or just involving myself in the world. There’s no escape now. I wish it hadn’t taken me 5 years after awakening experience to realize this but I guess that’s what is. Thanks for this video, your sharings have proven invaluable in helping me see where I actually am - and LOVE to all the pups of the world 🙏🏼 🐶💖

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

😍

[@macparker3549]

Hi, Rula, I’ve not experienced the awakening, so I can’t speak to that, but I have experienced the richness of “loving what has never been loved,” these darker places that arise when and as they will. May it be a grace-filled and welcoming part of the process. 🤬💥🔥🤨🙏💜🌎🌻

[@rulamazigi5839]

@@macparker3549 Thank you Mac, what a lovely sentiment for an “other.” I guess I haven’t had the courage to face the darkness nor embrace it until now, as it seems to be beyond the mind’s ability to repress it further, or maybe I just can’t not see it anymore. Fear has always been my default state of being and apparently anger was underneath that which I never was in touch with. Loving the things that can’t apparently be loved - that, I feel, is no less an awakening. In fact, knowing what I know now I would have preferred the miracle of being able to love the unloveable than to see what I saw that day and beyond. To me it would be the greatest of all miracles to love the unloveable. Thanks again for your beautiful response 🙏🏼💖

[@macparker3549]

And now, dear Rula, you get to have both! I am genuinely so happy for you to be in this part of the process! So glad you have the heart and courage to walk this part of the walk. So grateful you found a teacher whose pointing includes this. However daunting this may feel, in my experience, the deeper in you go, the more freedom you do find. I have spent countless hours being with fear that feels like it is ossified in the bones. Lying in it when it wakes me in the middle of the night, taking whatever time it needs to begin to soften. For me, it doesn’t “pop like a bubble,” as it apparently does for some. It’s much slower, more gradual. Yes, this is an ongoing process, but guess what, certain fears I’ve had all my life have faded, some even disappeared. Slowly and deeply. And good for you for facing the anger! For me, this one is so central, and considered so dangerous that it seems rare that people really square up to it and own it. I have had to, and this continues. The anger in me simply will not allow itself to be repressed. Even as I have lost family and relationships because of my inability to be acceptably “nicer,” this energy simply will not allow itself to be left behind. And there is so much energy trapped in there! I imagine you can feel it? I am blessed beyond measure to have two people in my life willing to go into the fire 🔥 of this with me and not to lose track of me or themselves. One is a brother, and one is my girlfriend/partner who has had the courage to burn and be burned with me, with both of us discovering the liberating power of that burning away. Perhaps this sounds crazy or dangerous, but at least for me I can say that there are no limits in this endeavor to love what has never been loved. For whatever it may be worth, you have my kinship and my encouragement in this process. I have been wondering of late if there are ways I might be a companion for others in these explorations. If any of my experience in these realms might be of help to you, I gladly and freely offer it to you. Wherever this all takes you, I wish you the very best. I think you may be surprised by what you find! 🙏🤬🔥💥🌻🌎🦋🫥

[@macparker3549]

Rula, a couple other things to say and clarify. 1) Anger moves in all kinds of ways. Yes, it can be used to attack, dominate, and even harm. That can be the challenge. But what I find is that anger ALWAYS points to something important. It can mean we’re getting close to the heart of something (or someone). I find that if I can make a space of acceptance for someone’s anger, including my own, I’m about to hear a whole lot of truth, or at least truthful expression, in a very short period of time. Things that may have been suppressed for ages, and might never reveal themselves in more “appropriate” conversations. Honestly, it just really seems to me that if we REALLY want truth, we’re going to have to go through that anger barrier that keeps so much buried. 2) I encourage you to be aware of any ways you may be weighing yourself down for your pace in this. We all see what we see as fast as we can, and compassion for our humanity is always a path to softening. All the best to you…

[@75accamargo]

I really like Paul Hedderman’s satsangs on nonduality. In a recent one he said something that I loved: “We’re not in the outcome business “. We just do what we have to do, right now, and the outcome is just out of our hands. Very succinct and wise. :)

[@macparker3549]

Hey, Analuiza, On your recommendation, I’m listening to Paul Hedderman this morning. You’re right! Thank you! 🙏🪓🪵🫥

[@75accamargo]

@@macparker3549 I hope someday Angelo will interview Paul. He has such an interesting life story!

[@thegoblonoid]

I like the pet cameo. They're a gateway. When my cat lays on my chest and we stare at eachother, there is just this. Pure, thisness. Silence. No me, no him, just love.

[@Tom-vr2op]

I like this. The sun is not always shining in the present, but when you are present you can stand there and feel the rain on your face.

[@renakmans3521]

Man, straight to the point. I rarely hear people talk like this and I’ve heard hundreds of discourses. 🙏

[@StevenLeMieux]

I've read your book and definitely wanna say thank you. My son's currently reading it I plan to give it a few more reads until it sinks in properly. I've been at this for so many years I get the concept as If that even makes sense but for some reason I still miss the mark here. One profound moment and then years of confusion endless searching I just wanna understand...

[@cps_Zen_Run]

Chasing Enlightenment, for me, is like seeking a path to Eternal Life. My life is too brief to waste following the Yellow Brick Road. Very content with Awakening. Gratitude and Joy for your videos.

[@macparker3549]

Time for something akin to an apology, or at least an acknowledgment of my antics. 😎 Recently, I have felt and expressed a certain frustration because this process seems to be going in “reverse order.” In other words, LOTS of emotion/shadow BEFORE awakening, not afterwards, like it’s supposed to. 🙄 I have called customer service, but the “Awakening” button on my remote just won’t activate, no matter how many times I press it, no matter how much I swear or complain. 🤬 Today, as I woke up (in the morning, not that OTHER thing…) two things occurred to me: 1) Even as I have seen myself as innocently and sincerely “trying to let go,” sneakier parts of me have actually been applying spiritual pine tar to my fingertips so I can get a better grip… 2) Perhaps life is requiring me to do the shadow work up front because it knows what a gigantic asshole I would be if I had an awakening before doing some major house cleaning? Perhaps I have demonstrated this tendency in alarming ways already! Perhaps this whole reverse order thing is a really wise plan in my case. So, I want to apologize to the people in customer service for my complaints. You were right, this information was all right there in the manual… 🙄🤨😁😂

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

I'm never discouraged when someone is doing shadow work regardless before or after etc. The timing of this is so individual, and everyone is different :)

[@Tom-vr2op]

Think less ;)

[@macparker3549]

Tom, yes, you’re right… 🙏🙄😂

[@SimonM282]

Great video Angelo. Concise directions on shadow work. At this point what arises feels like undifferentiated pain. The narrative kicks in that "oh my god, this will last forever" I just come back to what is. Being with uncomfortable feelings as you say. Thank you.

[@James-3000]

Like you're talking directly to me 😅. Started doing the real work recently and things are opening at a deeper level than I ever could've imagined. I even understand how my suffering has been an immense gift, or grace like you say. Much gratitude to you, hope you had a good Thanksgiving! (and nice looking pup!)

[@darshanmayginnes688]

Thanks Angelo for these post awakening videos. I had no idea how much emotional material was packed in the body after 50 years in a spiritual cult. Back to basics, what’s here now!

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

Welcome. Check out Mac Parker interview

[@tim2269]

"Beliefs are thoughts and thoughts are Ghosts."👻

[@pencilcase46]

I heard something neat today that pinpointed this "stuckness" very well; it was like: people cling to "bliss out" when they should be "bliss in." Remember some of the most intense feelings in shadow work, where I said, "this feels like being flayed on the inside." Not pleasant, and if I had to go through something similar, I would go for it.

[@Mykiller333]

Imagine hearing and recieving messages from many dimentions all at once. Imagine being able to see the future before it happens and you dont know how or why. Then you feel the bliss from reaching Nirvana and you want to scream at everybody from a rooftop telling all beings how messed up the world is and how they can fix it! I thought I was a Vampire at first because of how the blessing was administered. Imaging becoming Enlightened out of the blue because you made friends by extreme luck and grace with true Guru not knowing the power he held and that Enlightenment wasnt even something you knew was possible.

[@alfreddifeo9642]

Thanks for sharing this pointing 🎯♥😶 🙏☮ wishing love, grace, courage and understanding for all

[@Madoc_EU]

I didn't expect that, but this video really brought a new impulse to me. I'm currently stuck without really being stuck. I discovered that everything is quite alright the way it is. But then, why even do anything? I've already come past this point a little, by embracing loving creativity. But this leaves something out: There are still those areas of life that I avoid contact with. Not myself, but something in my mind, still has the same fears that I had before; nothing has changed about them. I didn't take the term "shadow work" seriously before. But after having heard this, I think I will get myself informed about that.

[@IAn0nI]

Shadow work. Always. Excellent.

[@Charpanda]

I thought you were standing up in these videos. Filter blown! Very cute dog as well.

[@sethspeaksdaily7260]

Can you please let us know when your book 'Awake: It's your turn' will be available on audible? Thanks!

[@susan5955]

When I experience strong emotional reactions, it seems if I just allow them to be the mind presents contradictory reactions, explanations and solutions. If I just observe these thoughts without any judgements, without trying to reach a conclusion the emotional reaction resolved it’s self, it’s as though consciousness dissolves really old concepts and thoughts…..I’m not doing it, it just happens that way but I just let the process take its own ‘time’, it could be a few minutes or a week or so. It doesn’t seem like hard work, in fact it’s a pleasant release no matter how long it takes Susan

[@AbscentOrange]

AD, premising this by saying I think that I have had glimpses, but I don’t feel like it makes much sense to ascribe a ‘stage’, when I do that it feels like, “thoughts, thoughts, thoughts….”. Lately though I feel like emotionally I am carrying baggage, feeling gloomy, depressed, and even with the head knowledge that this stuff is all… manufactured…. Could it be that the heaviness is a shadow that needs to be worked? I guess my assumption is that all shadow work arises with a name tag, but I think what you share in this video suggests that some of this appears energetically/emotionally and we need to open the unmarked box? Does that make sense? Like last night I was in a room with people playing ping pong, talking loudly, and I was trying to ‘just be present’, but I felt like I was going to burst and scream, “can you all just be quiet and respect that it’s late???”. Not a very zen response, lol. But just being in that moment was wicked heavy… idk, man.

[@macparker3549]

May not be zen, but it sounds authentic to me! Seems like many of us have this notion that we have to accept what we don’t like in “others.” But how accepting are we of what we don’t like in ourselves (perhaps anger in this case)? First things first?

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

You definitely get more sensitive and I can understand that experience as you are aware of how you and those in your environment might be affecting others nearby. It's much harder to ignore what was once so easy to ignore. But it's all toward a good end :)

[@Mimi-xs7gi]

Needed to hear this….❣️

[@AshleyStuart]

Does this shadow work come in waves? I've gone through several periods of what I'd call pretty rough periods over the past few years since starting on this 'journey'. It's very powerful when it happens but it definitely has been more than one period of time. Also, I love your dog. I personally especially loved the videos where the dog was sleeping in your lap as you talked.

[@macparker3549]

Hi, Ashley, For me, yes, it comes in waves. In tsunamis, in unexpected sparkling springs, in eddies, in stagnant pools. In other words, in every way you can imagine. Whenever I think I’ve got the hang of it, or know what to expect, I’m invariably wrong. I’m learning to be patient, responsive, and not the one in charge. All the best to you as you meet your waves, ride them, and sometimes drown in them. In my opinion, this is a greatly under appreciated art, both in life and in spiritual work. We are so fortunate that Angelo sees and points to how essential this part of the process is… Have you read his book? All the best to you? 🙏🌎🚿

[@AshleyStuart]

@@macparker3549 Thank you. This description is perfect especially about how it's so unpredictable. I love Angelo's book! It's awesome! I need to get myself a hard copy though so I can more easily read sections of it again though.

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

Yes it definitely comes in waves, and there is a finite amount of to. Just feeling it closer and closer and make no conclusions 🌻

[@DenisaNastase]

"Don't move, and don't try to be the surgeon" Whaa :D :D

[@juliecloutierchannel]

Beautiful Thank you.

[@injoyinmyself2018]

Chopping wood,enlightenment, chopping wood. Murderer, enlightenment, Murderer.

[@trevgrooves]

I’m not managerial material.

[@JoSpring]

Always play!

[@humanbeing4995]

🙂

[@TinyMaths]

Dogs are the most marvellous creatures; I think you should play, make the video later 😄

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

They sure are!

[@elizabethgaldamez1729]

Interesting, thank you for what you do

[@Shmyrk]

Superb. Thank You 🧡

[@davidhummels4162]

I have a question about some of the darker rabbit holes one might go down after attaining some level of insight. Recently, I was watching a video by a teacher from the Zen tradition in which he compared statements made by people who woke up to comments from none other than Charles Manson. There was enough overlap that I found it jarring. The teacher pointed out that while such people may have experienced some kind of insight (whether through spiritual practice or drug use), they did not experience authentic realization because their subsequent attitudes and actions were demonstrably egocentric and dualistic. Yet, they can pass themselves off as "enlightened" because they sold potential students/followers on their backgrounds (this or that guru, practice, ideology, etc.) and claimed they had reached some sort of exalted state, which is, of course, pleasing to the ego. Cult leaders, basically. What kind or what level of insight do you think such people reached? I'm interested in your opinion not only due to my curiosity about awakening but because I am a security professional (healthcare sector, actually) and a grad student in forensic psychology. I'm quite sure you've alluded to this issue in videos before, I just don't remember which ones. Thank you 🙏

[@macparker3549]

Hi, David, He did an interview with me a couple months ago about my experience down one of those darker spiritual rabbit holes. He does speak to at least some of your questions in that, don’t know if you saw it. The video is titled, “When Spirituality Goes VERY Wrong.” Cool that you’re studying forensic psychology. I was actually interviewed by a forensic psychiatrist as part of my legal case. It was one of the more humane parts of the process in my experience. Best to you…

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

Can't speak to what that Zen teacher said or who he was quoting but as I mention in this video, you can end up in some weird places if you are unwilling to do the shadow work that inevitably comes with this process. My recommendation: Do the shadow work and don't worry about Charles Manson.

[@davidhummels4162]

@@macparker3549 thank you for the info as well as your words of encouragement! The name of the video rings a bell. I have a feeling I may not have had time to watch it when it was posted but I'll go back and check it out. Best wishes to you!

[@davidhummels4162]

@@SimplyAlwaysAwake thank you for your reply and duly noted. I expect that letting go of Charlie Manson will be one of the easier parts of my practice 😃

[@MK7of7of7of7]

So.....nerve pains shooting down both legs while I sit and "feel". Not much different than last 40 years but I think I'm getting a hint of something....wait? nope false alarm, just pain.

[@C43Z]

So if I'm understanding correctly, shadow work is just being willing to feel the icky sensations (doesn't necessarily need to be a sitting practice) and the work that leads up to awakening is meditation (just sitting)+inquiry? And can meditation/sitting in silence be a form of shadow work, or is it a form of avoidance?

[@StevenLeMieux]

I'm no expert but I would assume anything we normally do to distract ourselves is avoidance the opposite of sitting still and questioning it.

[@C43Z]

@@StevenLeMieux I feel like sitting still with an agenda to achieve something or feeling the need to meditate is also a subtle way to avoid how you feel right now.

[@StevenLeMieux]

@@C43Z also very true. But after reading the book I realized that's part of the process. The stepping back or observing thoughts and sensations as a witness and inquiring vs distracting for stimulation which is itself a form of avoidance. I think your referring to sitting while trying to stop thinking vs allowing thinking while observing. Have to say the single hardest part for me or anyone.

[@Pam74055]

I really did zero meditation prior to awakening. There is not a practice that can get you there. It’s more ponderous in where the teacher is pointing. A very still pondering. No thinking will work. The shadow work afterward is similar. That’s been my experience so far. My awakening was in September, it was Grace, as he said. You may have a few ah ha moments that are relevant, but intellectual thinking is of no value.

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

That's a pretty good assessment, though after awakening we often have to be willing to be radically honest with ourselves in regards to what we are using spiritual practices for.

[@this-abledtheextravertedhe5299]

😌 Thank you

[@amazias9213]

Thanks.

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

You're welcome

[@pchabanowich]

The freedom to feel a discomfort to its depth in peace... is miraculous. 🪷

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

[@ssstrong529]

I'm curious if anyone has had experience with what could be best characterized in mainstream terms as dissociated personality disorder after awakening. The going "off the rails" included schizophrenic like symptoms with separate personified fragments of consciousness "controlling" a person. Sadly, our current mental health paradigm has no understanding/place for these spiritual problems.

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

No I don’t think so. Off the rails doesn’t mean some new disorder arises, rather one is resistant to work with and integrate the underlying delusions and repressed emotional material that was already there.

[@ssstrong529]

@@SimplyAlwaysAwake @Simply Always Awake I can see it as repressed aspects that were always there. I'm just wondering if the repression is so extreme, it can cause these distortions. I've been on a journey to understand what happened/is happening to my family member. The best description I've been able to find is from Dr. Bruce Greyson and colleagues out of UVA regarding Kundalini Psychosis.

[@laurentmmx]

​​@@ssstrong529adly it seems that what you described can happen in any consiusness expending experience like Vipassana retreat, holotropic breath work, psychedelic, Kundalini awakening... In a interview the transpersonal psychotherapist Martine Gercault said that she always does a preliminary interview with people who want to attend one of her holotropic breath work workshop. Here what's she says: To enter a modified state of consciousness, it is important to have a very structured self, a strong self, a sufficiently constructed psychic support, otherwise there is a risk of decompensation. If we are without foundation, without landmarks, it is obvious that entering a state of expansion of consciousness can aggravate our troubles. I would speak of sensory “permeability” or psychic permeability, which can sometimes lead weak ego individuals to have the impression of being inhabited, invaded by energies that are not their own. I note that this happens much more in subjects who have not done personal work and who are not anchored in themselves. The more rooted you are, the more vertical you are, the more you succeed in blocking what does not belong to you. the transpersonal psychiatrist Stanislas Grof probably knows this problem well. Even C.G. Jung thought that analysis can be dangerous for certain subjects whose psyche could be overwhelmed by the productions of the unconscious. You can search for "jung ego inflation"

[@laurentmmx]

​@@SimplyAlwaysAwakeAngelo what's your thoughts on this topic ?

[@Ballsmasher69420]

That's also called the shadow integration right? It's bringing all those repressed and pushed into the shadow emotions, behaviors, beliefs back to the light. Like fusing the mask (persona) with what's behind the mask (shadow). That's usually in social scenarios. Typical is a nice guy persona when a person is nice on the outside, but carries a lot of resentment and hatred within. Instead of integrating the shadow, taking proper action that is aligned with you. Authenticity is a good word I think for that.

[@jorghaltehreffkyan4190]

Nice shirt. And I liked the doggo guest appearance.

[@jamesstaggs4160]

I feel zero in my chest and haven't for many years. I remember having feelings there, good and bad, but if there's any merit to the chakras idea my heart chakra is dormant or dead because I get nothing there.

[@cavallopazzo340]

Now that you mention this. It's actually the same for me too. I experienced quite a bit of trauma and in my case those sensations are "stored" in the head and in the arms and that's where I feel them as they are getting released during this awakening journey. Have you found out more regarding what you said meanwhile?

[@Soulology8]

100% ! Shadow work is the way

[@sabrinasandhu06]

❤

[@korneliaheidegger3116]

❤❤🙏❤❤

[@TheWizard10008]

Please post where you get your T-shirts.

[@nicoleyoung3927]

How do you recommend meditation? I used transcendental sometimes and then sometimes I try to have no thought… How do you recommend meditating?

[@swimmingbird238]

Love ur shirt Angelo

[@llvv375]

I feel like shut down !!

[@wolfgangfinke7403]

What is this fascinating background sound? Can I have it pure without speech and where?

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

It’s all music I made

[@wolfgangfinke7403]

Do you offer it somewhere for download? Or just possibility listening to it pure and without speech somewhere?

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

@@wolfgangfinke7403 no it’s just used for vids and guided meditations

[@34ginanicole]

What’s “the big one”? 😵‍💫😳

[@macparker3549]

I think he is referring to the full realization/enlightenment of which the awakening/kensho is the first major shift/step. I don’t know this from experience, but from hearing him talk about it before.

[@Gandalfsson1]

Question: I am not awake, but as I have understood it, You have to feel your emotions to become awake. Is that not right ? It is a huge challenge for me, but working on it : ) I now -after this KZbin here - I understand that you have to do that after awakening, also.

[@SimplyAlwaysAwake]

If you are truly intending to awaken I would use the pointers in the playlist awakening approaches and/or my book.

[@macparker3549]

Hi, Kib, I have found both the awakening playlists on Angelo’s KZbin home page and his book, “Awake: It’s Your Turn” to be invaluable resources. All the best to you! 🙏💥🔥🌎💜

[@Gandalfsson1]

Thanks to You both. I have the book, but it is a challenge to read when you are not english. I think I have seen most of the videos. I have got glimps, but as I see it I am not 100 % ready to let the ego go - that is my problem, I think, and therefore my next step is to go through my emotions as I see it What about my question ?

[@macparker3549]

Hi, Kib, I am no expert, but it does not appear that you “have to feel your emotions to awake.” People of all kinds seem to wake up. Very emotionally expressive people, people who are quite out of touch with their emotions. As Angelo says, I think in this video, awakening can be like a gift of grace, a “freebie” that seems to come out of nowhere. Then, in order to fully realize and express that awakeness, we will need to face every emotion that can cloud and distort this awakeness. As with everyone who asks these questions, it is your experience that will guide and teach… This is not an authoritative answer, but I hope it helps… 🙏🔥🌎

[@Gandalfsson1]

@@macparker3549 Thank you very much, but ....( very long story), and the short one is that 2 times i managed it, and I went into "the light" and got rid of an obstacle nearly all suffer of ( fear of loosing). The other time was when a venomous snake crawled on me. It is a long story, but I am sure it is one of my challenges

[@stoicafanel]

Thoughts , feelings ,senzaționes,,,,,,,,,means nothing,,,,I Am,, it îs nothing too,,,,There - I say that-

[@humanbeing4995]

🐚🐚🏖

[@nat998]

💛

[@shannon7]

play!!!!

[@sid__]

Isn’t it all Karmic based?

[@n-xsta]

Faaaarrrrkkkk 🫠😅🙏