why do white men love black women with bad wigs?

[@referencetosomethingilike5525]

Reading through these comments feels like we watched an entirely different video. The video was so focused on the positives of this trend and was super informative, but the comments are all so focused on the negative. Very strange, feels like people read the title and commented before actually watching. 🤔

[@amandamaryanna]

this!!! thank you for taking the time to watch and then comment LOL

[@disguiseddv8ant486]

This is far from "positive". This is pathetic! If this video doesn't show how mentally disturb BW are about their own natural hair while putting in so much effort for these wigs/weaves that they're installing on top of their heads they're just displaying the level of self hatred, jealousy towards WW, disrespect for BM, and the love that they have for WM. There's no other race of women doing this or having these delusional off the wall conversations.

[@AndreKing4]

Welcome to the internet!

[@johnstockton3150]

@@amandamaryannayou hate black men especially the ones that can debunk everything you feel about them just because you got your feelings hurt in 3rd grade.

[@user-zr3xd5ur9v]

Maybe you can't read.

[@flagrantly]

Had to pause the video to belly laugh at the line, "That was not a theory; that was a side part."

[@junglebratty]

Same

[@Hintedbymarina]

same lollll

[@shaethefunny1428]

Definitely a bar. That line hit different

[@foreverjeanmarie]

That comment alone earned my like and subscribe

[@bnadira212]

I literally hollered 😂

[@lazycurl3593]

So, y’all saw a BW in a whole castle, being doted on by a man who loves and values her and decided to focus on her wig and devalue her?…This doesn’t lack solidarity and foresight at all. I remember when the discourse was about our “nappy hair” and dating/marrying WM. The lengths BW will go to try to ensure BW are devalued knows no bounds.

[@catsrus-es9eu]

Thank you. Im embarrassed. If they want rich white men so bad, they should ask the woman where she works, what music she listens to, where she grew up. Nope it must be the bad wig. BW are their own worst enemies

[@TeflonBarbie]

Exactly !!!

[@Kendricknia]

These are the same black women who beg white men for free turkeys every holiday season but have the nerve to question why do black women date them? They are their own worst enemy for real. Picking fights with the only people who help them. 😂

[@DarkPrincess_13]

Nothing but facts lol

[@iris7301]

It’s weird ass hell..

[@Rainjojo]

Being a black woman is so damn tiring, can’t live in peace as a person without someone wanting me to prove my blackness

[@mssydneil]

Exactly. I remember as I child I used to want to put powder on myself, thinking I’d become white instantly because I got bullied by mostly black kids at school up into high school because I was the nerdy girl with glasses. I’m 32 years old and I graduate with my Bachelor’s in computer science once my degree comes to my house. I’ve worked hard these 4 years so I’ve earned it.

[@MechaJutaro]

Welcome to humanity, baby doll. If you're a Black male who doesn't look, speak, and act like a fucking thug, your peers accuse you of "inauthenticity". Same thing if you're Hispanic yet refuse to act like a Cholo, or Near Eastern yet don't run around in a turban saying "Allah Be Praised" after every thing you say. This isn't a problem unique to Black women

[@chavaliernsharps159]

​@@mssydneilyes, I think sometimes we as Black people can engage in some of the most vile acts towards each other. No different than any other group or race does to its own as well. Nonetheless, we can be really good at being cruel towards one another. Especially if one is deviant from what is and isn't considered to be Black, or to be doing Blackness. Whatever any of that is supposed to be 🤷🏿‍♀️ congratulations on that degree! ❤

[@mssydneil]

@@chavaliernsharps159Thank you. My love life hasn’t been much better because I refuse to settle for anyone just to say I have a boyfriend or a husband. That’s why I haven’t married yet because I have reasonable standards. He doesn’t have to be “perfect” but he has to have goals and aspirations for himself and drive to be successful. Most American men don’t want to work or better themselves but want women to take care of them. That’s not how a relationship works. You have to be worthy of being cared and provided for like that, male and female.

[@diopfifi4937]

Is q constant bashing and judging others

[@phoenixjones1915]

The creator lipgloss said a while ago that rich white men love natural nappy hair and bad wigs oddly the same thing most black men say that they hate.

[@meiko2164]

Yeah, lipgloss, the most reliable source! 🤣🤦🏼‍♀

[@true4585]

@@meiko2164she kinda is though in her own way. She speaks truth.

[@JJ-pn5ut]

So the people who term your natural hair unprofessional in the work place suddenly find it attractive? Make that make sense. Can’t y’all see this is cringe! We are the only group of people who write books about “how to date interracial” We can’t fix our mess! This is why other groups think we are cursed from HAM. May GOD have mercy on the black race.

[@theceech]

@@meiko2164 shes literally speaking about her life and experience so ya its reliable

[@5050TM]

Why are we still calling our hair nappy? Gross af.

[@icomeinpeace3756]

Being a black woman is exhausting. Always have black men AND black women that look just like us coming at us as well smh.

[@Godschild9108]

Amen!

[@natashadickson4819]

Being Black is not exhausting if you opt for a soft life or softer life. Less debt, less work, more peace. ❤

[@icomeinpeace3756]

@natashadickson4819 I said specifically being a black woman is exhausting case in point videos like these and were always a topic of conversation online. Look at the subject of the video. She chose a soft life. I actually watched the documentary last week and she's literally taking private jets and lives in a mansion somewhere in England. That's the soft life and now she's the face of discourse happening all online about the state of her hair. I repeat being a black women divested or not, soft life or not, is exhausting. The good thing about her is that she's not dealing with the black community in her real life or in her day to day.

[@dfoxxy]

Agreed

[@natashadickson4819]

@@icomeinpeace3756 Extreme luxury is not the only soft life. I opted to work less, borrow less, own less, and to get married. We are not wealthy but life is softer/easier than when I was trying to have it all. When the lifestyle exceeds the income, life becomes hard.

[@CarmenSD]

we gotta stop putting all our business on the internet 😔

[@ahmosel4901]

It's so cringe and embarrassing. No wonder other groups don't respect us as a collective. Low self-worth (including throwing ppl who look like you under the bus) is not respected anywhere in the world.

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

honestly agreed, hide the dirty laundry, PR for black ppl is already dogshit bc the colonizers.@@ahmosel4901 don't give more differences or opportunities to demean other black people. white people hate black men but black women talk direct shit about them way more. I've only every known regular guys so idk maybe poc should listen to social queues and stop giving the majority more weaknesses to exploit

[@Stillunbothered37]

Amen, hence white women in box braids they lost their minds with a window into our black homes.

[@ddrebrne3336]

This comment is the one that I was looking for.

[@youuknow4670]

Yea this is a bad FLEX

[@khazermashkes2316]

I wish Black women’s hair was less policed

[@OvSpP]

It’s too analyzed is what it is. As if the people doing it have stakes to it 😂. Like this is her hair, not a horse race!

[@theconcealedmistress]

Me too. I ignore these people. They have nothing else to do.

[@icomeinpeace3756]

And that's exactly the problem smh.

[@moniquewrites9046]

Amen!!!!!!

[@aaliyahbeeby]

can we just leave the rainbow out of it? i think there’s valid points to be said.

[@rachaelf5903]

As a black woman with bad wigs (no baby hairs, bleaching knots and all that drama) it’s pretty simple, I grew up in a majority white area so I don’t have enough close black friends to judge me for it. I also cba to spend hours/£££ on a wig

[@YonkaiUwU]

Black Americans be the most judgmental, they like crab in a barrel

[@CotillionQueen]

Baby hairs .. bleached knots and all that DRAMA?? Interesting 🤔

[@Lolamola102]

@@CotillionQueenyes all the drama not everyone has the time nor money for all that

[@CotillionQueen]

@@Lolamola102 interesting indeed!🖤

[@2013lovemy]

Omg I just posted this as my “theory” lol!

[@OriginalWhiteDevil]

I'm White and shortly after we started seriously dating I told my now Black wife she should be proud of her natural hair. She actually thought I wouldn't like her real hair, which was sad and shocking to me at the time. If I can't accept the physical attributes she was born with, why would I be with her? We've (no pun intended) been together for just shy of 16 years and she is all natural with cute tight curls.

[@Stillunbothered37]

O wow a white man approves of a black womans hair, stop what youre doing everyone and listen to a white man brag about giving his black woman permission to be Black.

[@kimberlyowens5496]

Good for you. And you're right, it's sad that we dont like our own hair .

[@gorgonismztruth1551]

Modern marriage is a scam where females use the law and courts to steal mens money when they cheat and divorce him

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

I honestly think it’s because white people aren’t privy to black beauty ideals the same way black people are privy to white beauty ideals. For example, many black women have said that when in “white company”, they’re not as conscious about their edges and unkept hair because white people don’t know what unkempt black hairstyles/beauty ideals look like, but they know what looks good to them, and what looks good to them doesn’t necessarily look good to the black collective. My 6 week old braids looks good to white people, whereas black people will ask “so when are you getting your hair done?”. Same reaction when I wear my shiny synthetic hairband wig from Temu. Ironically, my black girl friends with white partners aren’t hung up on having laid hair and never have been.

[@djlivvy46]

I honestly think that these women are revelling in the freedom of not worrying what their hair looks like. They have the time & resources to travel to any salon, have hairdressers visit them at home or even have a personal hairstylist on deck. And yet they don't do any of that.

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

@@djlivvy46Absolutely - I agree.

[@beautifulsoulgirl8683]

Exactly. My husband is a wm. They don’t police our hair like that.

[@markparham]

you are making excuses i bet you date white men

[@niratomas579]

Right. For them, it’s doesn’t have the same triggering effects it’s has on us! WP are so complimentary when I switch it up! And they just see the style for what it is at a surface level! In our community they hair standards are impossible to live up to

[@thekeyimani]

From my experience as a black woman, LOTS (not all but majority) of black men love to make fun of black women’s hair if it’s not natural. Things such as lace fronts, goddess braids, and cornrows are viewed as “unkept, tacky, too much, or fake”. That’s why you see a lot of skits with black men pretending to be and mocking black women, worse when people agree with the stereotype. Now with non-black men, that’s not an issue at all. I remember when I wore a big afro wig before my hair growth journey, and a really cute Hispanic guy in my class said I was really pretty. He was on the football team too and we never spoke before, so I was absolutely flattered! Not to mention whenever I would speak to any Asian guys, they would spark a conversation to which I didn’t know they were actually flirting since black men tend to be more upfront. Also specific white guys usually smile or look down and blush when I would compliment or talk to them. With our hair, they’re not so familiar with our culture and how we take of it, and usually are willing to learn about it versus making fun of it. All this to say, and reminder, NOT ALL BLACK MEN ARE LIKE THIS….but let’s be real majority are them are. And I am also not saying for my fellow black women to change your hair to gain attention from a man. However you express yourself with your hair, your clothes, and your style, you do you. And if you do want to change your lifestyle for the new year ahead, by all means go on ahead! TLDR; Non-black men like black women with “hard wigs” because they view our hair as interesting and they want to know more. EDIT: Black women, I don’t care where you are in life, go where you are uplifted, appreciated, successful, and loved. That’s all I’m gonna say after looking at the replies.

[@dinkyboss]

I think it’s not very important to focus so much on what men like or even want.

[@NotSoEntertaining.]

That’s because BM need to keep BW’s self esteem low or BW will start expecting more from them. You’re right, it is the majority of them. BW are realizing that they deserve to be treated well by their men. I’m glad they are finally starting to open up their options and chose to go with whomever can take care of them and who brings positivity into their lives.

[@corimoon3360]

@@dinkybossIt’s not important. However, OP was just giving her experience as a black woman on her hair and how different races of men reacted to it which is related to the video in discussion.

[@vivid5203]

@@dinkybossexactly

[@coloursfilm]

The majority of Black men actually like Black women's natural hair. Black women are the ones judging, laughing at, and roasting each others hair whether it's real or fake, and it's Black female elders that teach Black girls that their natural hair is inferior by constantly covering it and changing its texture.

[@jamesTWisco]

My wife has had natural hair (her hair breaks off so it's short) for most of our marriage. Now she has been wearing wigs for about a year. Amazon wigs - all around $100 or so and she puts them on herself using tutorials. Looks good to me. Maybe as a white guy - I just don't judge black hair because I don't have it, don't have experience doing black hair - other than when I've tried to help my wife with hers. I'm not with her because of her hair. She is a good woman, and mother. She does well when we are in public including work events. I love her whether her hair looks like Don king in the morning or Beyonce or whatever.

[@chemicalrose747]

Lmfaooo not Don King 😂 this was sweet though ❤️‍🔥

[@irenes8689]

There are more men out there like you. You don't have to prove yourself to no one Most men who are married for love irregardless of their partners hair love them for being them and that's it. People need to stop making it all about race.

[@jamesTWisco]

@@irenes8689 exactly

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@jamesTWisco PLEASE tell me your wife isn't African [Black]

[@ashcash5035]

Don king loooooooooooooool 😭

[@astridediva]

I’m all for black women’s happiness ❤ black women should do whatever makes them happy. If Brad is making you happy go with Brad

[@green_guardian5]

I agree, but Black women are the biggest damn hypocrites. They get made and talk shit about Black men that date white women, but write books and support Black Women who date Brad.

[@LadyK007]

🎯💯

[@markparham]

@@LadyK007 if tyrone is making you happy go with tyrone

[@markparham]

if tyrone is making you happy go with tyrone

[@savagejordan781]

​@@markparham💀

[@Alex8grade]

I’m a black woman, soon to be married to a white man. The bad wig rhetoric is just a thinly veiled misogynoir talking point used to delegitamize one’s blackness, when a black woman dates outside the race. It’s not at all surprising that the “bad wig” girlies in interracial relationships also typically have 4C hair, darker skin, and wear their hair natural. Characteristics that we are often times degraded for having within our own community (Colorism, texturism, featurism, etc)…. Another thing I’ve noticed is that many times black women in interracial relationships with white men are usually not women that that put as much emphasis on their appearance, because they’ve been socialized in predominantly white environments, and don’t face the same cultural pressure to be “presentable.” The reality is that the bar for what is presentable is significantly higher for black women with phenotypical characteristics than it is for black women with features that more closely align with eurocentricity.

[@yzma6142]

I agree with the majority of this, but I’ve found that white people perpetuate colorism, featurism, and texturism the same amount (if not more) than the black community. Look at Hollywood… I just think that generally a white man who is willing to date/marry a black woman, doesn’t care what people think and usually finds beauty in natural blackness.

[@MT-yx5cu]

That last sentence is true, except you forgot to add "in the black community".

[@milkflavored]

Underrated comment

[@KaeMaiden]

Nailed it. Add in the Black community to the last sentence and you have one zinger of a comment.

[@KaeMaiden]

​@@MT-yx5cuAdded my response and then read the responses. Absolutely spot on. Glad I'm not the only one with the observation. You know the gaslighters will try and deny it.

[@paynefanbro]

No one polices Black people more than Black people. Black people have ideas about what constitutes good and bad hair/hairstyles and almost all of them are rooted in anti-Blackness. Non-Black people have no idea about these standards and as a result they don't make comments about or disparage Black people when they have hairstyles that the vast majority of Black people would see as unkempt or bad. I think it's fair that Black people seek out people who don't criticize them for their natural hair or for doing low-effort styles, but I would also hope that most Black people who think dating a rich White person who doesn't criticize their hair understand that they're not insulated from other forms of anti-Blackness from their partner. For some that's a sacrifice they're willing to make for a "soft life". Not me tho lol

[@MazHem]

Yeah, internalising racism doesn't work, making sure other black people don't step out of line doesn't work, a white supremacist society isn't going to be good to black people even if everyone looks "perfect".

[@wezzie98]

So true

[@milkflavored]

Underrated comment

[@MP-il8ys]

I think this might be true for shade-ism also.

[@savvy_enigma]

💯

[@zolawilliams1]

Oprah is... so annoying. Imagine if she just respected the gymnasts boundaries? She could have spun that into a message about leaving well enough alone and focusing on what mattered.

[@sherwood9917]

I understand what you are saying. But, Oprah, in the next sentence, then mentioned that the whole thing was sickening and wondered why anyone cared about Gaby's hair, when she was doing such amazing things. She also mentioned that as you rise, many, unfortunately, will jump to tear you down, and assured Gabby that it was a crabs-in-a-barrel mentality.

[@ObservingtheMatrix]

I would love to see how many people could live a life as public and pioneering as Oprah and not be considered “annoying”. Oprah is the perfect example of how as a black woman or man nothing is enough. No matter how excellent or well intentioned- there will be dragging - in the black community 😩

[@mightymeatymech]

"I don't wanna focus on the negative" "Ok well I do" that shit took me out ngl 😭😭💀💀 oprah is too much

[@msch3891]

@@mightymeatymech @5:27 Oh wow.🤣🤣😭😭

[@icomeinpeace3756]

Yikes black women hating on Oprah is peak black women confusion and self-hatred

[@casscass6696]

She felt beautiful enough to leave the house and be on camera as that. The end. Nothing wrong with her or her wig. I’m not in the business of aiding in shaming black women for existing.

[@couragecoachsam]

As a white guy I have no idea what this stereotype is, much less “fiancé gums”. But I’m listening

[@NovaDoll]

I don’t get it too…

[@trinadream5106]

😭😭😭😭

[@8ThatUp2]

It’s a running joke because people noticed that black women who date or marry wealthy men always seem to have bad wigs on.

[@meiko2164]

You shouldn’t waste your time listening to these women… 🤦🏼‍♀

[@NovaDoll]

@@8ThatUp2 Literally have never seen this in my entire life. The black Women normally matches how put together her white husband is. I’ve also traveled to other countries and never saw this…

[@farmhouseonthemountain]

I am a BW married to a well off WM and this is making me tilt my head. Most of the black women I see, single or otherwise, are wearing "bad wigs". I wear my natural hair 98% of the time, and have actually had a black man come up to me and say "You probably have a white man at home," I said, "I have a man at home, yes," This man said to me, "That's a shame, I know the white boys love that natural, but I get tired of seeing sistas with weave," It's interesting. I've gotten the "you must date white guys" all my life, and I'm mostly wearing my natural hair.

[@WaterBaby2x]

That’s very specific to you. I know exactly what shes talking about. I see the pattern often.

[@anamason553]

I’m also married to a well off WM. I wear wigs, but they are nice and natural. I also wear my natural hair, which my husband loves. He very much goes wild when I switch up the styles of my wigs. I try to keep things spicy!

[@Iheartdolls4ever]

I agree. I wear my natural hair most of the time and my husband is an ambitious white man and most black women with with white men wear their hair natural. The black women(single or not)that wear wigs believe their wigs look good but they really look artificial and unauthentic….

[@purpleflows5680]

Same. I’m a BW with a provider husband (WM) and have only ever worn my hair natural. I’ve never had a WM that I’ve dated care about my natural hair. My husband has expressed active love for my hair. Sadly, I have had BM who I’ve dated say things that were hurtful about my hair. Fortunately, my father and mother taught me to love my natural hair and to see it as beautiful so I’ve never paid anyone who thought otherwise much mind.

[@spacebar9733]

The theory I've seen is that rich white men either want natural hair (as in curls, not silk press or braids) or a bad wig, nothing in between.

[@logandodson1484]

The cut of Gabby Douglas stating, “I don’t want to focus on the negative,” and Oprah responding quickly, “Well, I do” made me laugh.

[@pf6980]

Same

[@whatoncewas8480]

I know 😂 - Oprah is SO foul….

[@SomeLassCalledLeya]

As a black girl that's dated white men I had no clue I was meant to be after that lobster dolla... I've only been getting the pasta!

[@mightymeatymech]

same 😭💀💀 i'm asking my white boyfriend where my lobster at

[@TheSuburbnBliss]

Same. But I’m married to him now.. damn😢

[@khrisi9410]

What is the point of dealing with nearly getting by/almost broke wm. Chile ya'll should be reaching for lobster or caviar types with good credit and first class dreams. Might as well date a bm if he ain't got it like that 😂

[@mightymeatymech]

@@khrisi9410 idk maybe i just love him lmfao

[@khrisi9410]

@@mightymeatymech as long as he loves you more cuz that's the only way a wm is going to elevate his woman financially cuz if he ain't doing that he settling and it's a placeholder situation. Don't be messing with these white boys if ya'll don't understand the psychological nature of a wm.

[@danim.2717]

Simple, non-black men (and people) cannot tell the difference between a good wig and a bad wig. With men, as long as it's mid-length or long (various textures) human or synthetic, they don't care. Plus the less you spend on wigs/hair, the more you can spend and invest on other things like health, gym, travel, school, and more.

[@fire418]

No man has ever said he don't care what his woman hair look like. Sounds like you're making up excuses nobody said.

[@Stoudem]

@@fire418agreed

[@watergirl121]

@@fire418 You obviously have bad comprehension skills because that's not what she said. Reread the first sentence

[@fire418]

@@watergirl121 I understand the context, she's trying to make up excuses for non black men that they didn't even say themselves as a whole. They know what a bad hairstyle look like, she just don't want to admit that alot of non black men aim for black women with low self esteem. The white men who date black women with bad hairstyles have low self esteem themselves.

[@fire418]

@@watergirl121 Literally non black people, and white people especially, know everything about us, sometimes more than we know about ourselves. Neely fuller and Francis welsing went over this decades ago. All of sudden random black women on the Internet like yourselves claim white people are magically ignorant about their actions. They studied black people for centuries till now, why wouldn't they know what a bad hairstyle look like? Really think about what you people are suggesting. White people are 100% ignorant about black hair and wigs. When they're lineage made black women put on the wigs in the first place and the Asians sell it to black women. But y'all think non black people are this naive. Y'all the naive ones

[@angiepangie2795]

My white male friend recently asked me what baby hairs were, he didn’t call them that, he just said the hair gelled on ur forehead 😅 he said he noticed it was popular, and didn’t realise it could also be part of a wig I think lots of them don’t understand wig mechanics, they just see hair on your head and think “hair” it could be tangled with no part, crooked and blonde and they’ll be like 😍 lmao

[@Grinchthanksgiving]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@beaniepq]

right? me seeing my yt coworker at work after taking my hip-length braids down: "oh wow, you got a haircut? you pull off so many styles~!" its a little endearing in how naive it sounds 😭

[@realpristine]

The “slim body” is the biggest factor. Please don’t let that part go over your head. Slim and trim is a MUST😂

[@brownsugar4412]

Yup 😂 Heavy on the SLIMM

[@milkflavored]

Honestly was looking for this comment, bc I think the politics are completely different, natural or wig, depending on size. I'd love to hear larger BW with WM partners speak on this, because I think that's rare...

[@nitashajohnson4767]

Honestly, I married an Engineer and I'm a plus-size black woman. Being slim is definitely not the only factor.

[@RosyHortensia]

Yes rich men love skinny woman😂

[@LethalLemonLime]

Gabourey Sidibe

[@b1n2s3s4]

“hard wig, soft life” is insane 😂

[@Aeom_333]

As a gay black man I’m tired of hearing about black women. Can y’all just let them live like why at every turn is there whole essays being drawn up about how a black woman lives her life. Let them be free

[@ahmosel4901]

Frfr it's sickening, tiring and it really be your own ppl selling you out and shaming you just so the dominant society can throw a few pennies their way. Are they not embarrassed?? Smh 🙄🙄

[@Bre.995]

Lmao my first reaction seeing this video. Every minuscule thing, has become discourse.

[@christineharkins1637]

This. We just want to live our lives, in peace.

[@25MK]

Thank you. Some black women just don’t seem to know when to stay on code and leave things alone!

[@EllaBeeMediaGroup]

Thank you! They can’t demystify us and this conversation is just another attack. Why won’t the men go win the economy already

[@millenarsc]

as a black girl who’s not from the us this is super funny and interesting for me lmao

[@notwwwansik]

SAMEEEE

[@dinkyboss]

I’ve seen black women wearing bad wigs across the globe though lol

[@corimoon3360]

Yall want to be special for being foreign so bad it’s embarrassing 😂

[@CinamonGirl570]

​@@dinkybossI've never seen a black woman wearing a wig in my country

[@BlueYellowGreenVc]

Same. Also because I've noticed it myself from social media😂😂

[@beecried]

As a black woman...this conversation is very weird and lowkey tired. Let people date whoever they want. Those tik toks are obviously making fun of and "humbling" black women and girls who date interracialy/internationally. Its sad. This isnt even a real conversation. Its just society being uncomfortable with an idea that isnt common and trying to out it as a flaw. Very weird indeed. I say, if the guy treats you with respect, loves you and treats you right, it shouldn't matter what can of paint either of you come in. In the end we are all apart of the wonderful cosmos, and just lucky to be aware that we can exist. And i believe, when we die, we go back to the soil, water and stars. We, as human beings, get so wrapped up in our own little hangups, that change and progression is often scary. These women aren't doing anything new. Our grandmother's did it, great grandmother's warned us with it, great, great grand mothers, scared us with it. But the world does change, and sometimes, what you used to know becomes a myth and you’ve got to acknowledge that. History will never change, but humanity is always growing.

[@chillybitches]

No one polices Black women more than Black folks. It's rooted in a lot of shame, insecurity, depression, and self-hatred, imho.

[@Michana101]

I completely agree this whole “bad wig phenomenon” is up there with black girls seen as being “white-washed” when we tuck our hair behind our ears…yeah seriously. I think ppl need to be more open to the idea of us dating whoever truly loves and is compatible with us; whether they’re black, white, Hispanic, etc.

[@cloudsurfer73]

Yeah, her acting like. “Oh, they’re not really being judgmental. It’s actually freeing”. Nah, they’re being shady. 100% shady. I’ve been told I was going to end up with a guy since I was a kid and I never wear wigs. It’s people just assuming all black women must look and act the same or else. It’s crazy how even we can’t see that we’re individuals and not stereotypes

[@iris7301]

It’s very odd

[@beecried]

@@iris7301 I'd go as far as to say, embarrassing.

[@ollynolly4592]

One of the craziest things I've recently learned is that even when black men earned enough for black women to stay at home, a law was implemented that made it illegal for black women to do so.

[@MindYourBiznazz]

Yep. It was criminalized for both if they didn’t have jobs. More maids for the middle and upper class. Imagine someone offering a black woman a job back then and she declined. It didn’t go with the status quo that we unfortunately didn’t set to work in our favor. Sigh…power🤷🏾‍♀️.

[@nessavlive]

This

[@lennylink8772]

I see white guys with black women all the time. They normally have natural hair or braids.

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

I even saw a white husband watch the whole process of his wife getting her hair braided and joked about how long it was gonna take😂

[@12ealDealOfficial]

This was my grandfather after my grandma and him split up. She didn't have a wig but I heard she was crazy as hell, just like my grandpa was crazy as hell for her.

[@spacexghost888]

As a black woman married to a white man, they don't care what you do with your hair as long as you look good. And they LOVE your natural hair and braids!

[@AfrooBlack]

IDK about this. I stay in North Carolina and this is so untrue there. White men liking a black girl's natural hair is uncommon here. My theory is that the only time WM in those states see BW is on social media looking a certain way. (Wig, thick, braids, etc) so when they come in contact with a natural BW, it's a culture shock. It definitely depends on where you're staying because when I used to live in Minnesota, WM loved women with braids. As a lot of BW had their hair in braids during the winter.

[@D13vest]

Your man doesnt care because he didnt have many options

[@TaylorM]

Do you know him personally? How do you know how many options he did or didn’t have? Men are valued for their money, and women are valued for their beauty! Do you have access to his bank account?🤣🙄

[@antisocialbutterfly5664]

“As long as you look good” That’s the thing. A bad wig doesn’t look good.

[@Idk-nc7kj]

@@antisocialbutterfly5664to you, nobody else cares

[@blaqkatt5806]

I think at the end of the day, it’s not about bad wigs. It’s about the fact that most WM don’t care. The first time I wore my natural hair to work at a majority white company my white male supervisor rushed to me with absolute delight on his face and in the corridor for all to see and hear he said Wow I love your hair! With eyes wide and scared a little I listened as he continued on with. What did you do to your hair, I love it! Now mind you it felt great but still shocking because no one had ever said that before and honestly it’s only ever been BM whose tried to shame me or insult my natural hair while even WW and of course my sisters have complimented me. BM are so ready and willing to show their disdain for us until at this point it doesn’t even faze me anymore cause I know I look good. They say they want natural but when you do it and have thick healthy natural hair they still want weave or stringy thin hair so at this point I look good for me only. ❤

[@gorgonismztruth1551]

Modern marriage is a scam where females use the law and courts to steal mens money when they cheat and divorce him

[@Cinnamon_Shaw]

Why do people care so much about how a black woman chooses to wear her hair, if a person is okay with themselves they usually are not bothered by others hair

[@catsrus-es9eu]

Don't say people. It's black women doing this.

[@digimonalvatrax2738]

@@julinaonYT "BULLYING"

[@camlatchford6182]

long story short, everybody can date whoever they want, within their race or outside of their race. and I hope everybody realizes that they deserve love and kindness.

[@joannagipson12]

💯💯💯💯❤❤❤❤

[@thejayisokay33]

Indeed💯

[@60sbabydoll777]

Exactly

[@fruitsarelife7073]

This wasnt about dating choice, it’s about the impact of Bad wigs on dating. But you guys had to get that off your chest 😂😂😂😂

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

I STRONGLY disagree with this dangerous statement!!!!!

[@cherrycordiaI]

The stereotype of a crusty, poorly laid wig has always gone way over my head (lol). I've had natural hair since my late teens and I've only ever dated non-black people. I don't have a racial preference, I just stay where I'm appreciated. Our 6th anniversary is in a few days and I don't think my very, very white, Swedish husband has ever seen me in weave, let alone a wig. The white men I've dated have shown nothing but appreciation for my natural hair.

[@strawberryfraisier6446]

exactly... i have to wonder if people have ever been around interracial couples before. non-black partners really like natural hair and see it as unique and beautiful, especially afros.

[@gorgonismztruth1551]

Modern marriage is a scam where females use the law and courts to steal mens money when they cheat and divorce him

[@michellegrobbelaar7379]

I remember this discourse. I get why it seems that way but lets be real black women that date black men also have bad wigs. Most people can't afford Alonzo Arnold wigs. I don't want to generalise but the black community is more harsher than black women's looks than white people. Obviously white standards of beauty exist but its like black women are expected to go in public looking like Miss Universe while white girls and other non-black girls can go in public looking homely and get away with it. It reminds me of the natural hair discourse that lipglosss brought up. Yes there are black men who love short 4c hair but a large amount of black women only like natural hair when its long or loosely curled. As for the bad wig part. A wig won't look real, thats the reality. We are not Indians and non-black Peruvians. As long as it looks good enough I don't care if my closure is obvious. Black women we typically have type 4 hair and type 3 natural hair.

[@Lauren-nr1wk]

THIS. Bad is very subjective. To other races, a wig just looks like a wig lol. I don't think they care about good or bad like we do.

[@chrissiemudpuppy1179]

As a "natural hair nazi" I see all wigs (type 1-3a) on black women as fake hair. It doesn't matter how laid or melted the lace is. My brain goes that is not their real hair. The only exception is if it's on a mixed race woman but that's because I might not think she is actually black at first.

[@lambslaught]

@@chrissiemudpuppy1179odd

[@OvSpP]

As a Black man, I kinda see your point! All these wigs are meh at best, whether they’re dating us or others. Downpressers got y’all paying for 6 out of 10 hair.

[@user-cm4pw9om2l]

⁠why would you use the term natural hair nazi…….

[@sfdko3291]

Non black people don't know what a bad wig is. We just know it's not your hair so we just...you know...whatever.

[@invadingminds]

😂 So you all just don't say anything to them to avoid possibly being offensive?

[@natashadickson4819]

​@@invadingminds It's not about the hair. If the person likes you, it doesn't matter if the hair is real or a good wig or a bad wig or whatever.

[@OvSpP]

That’s a good point. Cultural blindspots for them, but for us it’s extenuated to see all the hair analysis.

[@cedesley7296]

😂😂😂 this comment is hilariously crazy!

[@cora7818]

Do you mean non black?

[@JeromeProductions]

As an 18 year old black man with a mom who has a white fiance, I just want happiness for all sides even if that means dating out of race because honestly that shouldnt't be considered wrong. Not in this day and age.

[@JeromeProductions]

@@williampotter3369 thanks man. And yeah some people are just outright disrespectful nowadays to single moms. The circumstances aren’t always their fault. Doesn’t mean they aren’t less of a woman or worthy of love

[@8691cc]

I think nothing wrong with dating outside of your race it’s just when you are changing who you are to be with them that’s when the problem relies.

[@duckingghallatious]

I’m a white guy married to a black woman. (From Kenya) I love how my wife gets different hairstyles every so often and I get to see her show her beauty in unique and different ways. For what it’s worth my favorite style is her natural hair in a loose Afro but she thinks she doesn’t look good with that style. I’ve enjoyed learning about African hair the last few years. I never knew how much of black women’s hair was not actually natural but now I can tell right away. I still think they look awesome though! Just my unique perspective 😃

[@milkflavored]

Kudos to your wife! This was very sweet.

[@savagejordan781]

Beautiful

[@sm1purplmurderedme583]

❤

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

Stick with your own kind colonizer!!!

[@user-pu6jc3kc6u]

It just shows black men have more concern about our hair, than white men or even ourselves. I think more women wouldnt feel the emphasis to always have our hair top notch. I bet it's refreshing to be with someone not so concerned about what on your head instead of whats in it

[@brandond1947]

I honestly can't name any instances outside of comedy where bm "care" about bw hair. Also blk women literally bullied gabby Douglas and simone biles for their hair. Just saying

[@user-pu6jc3kc6u]

@@brandond1947 I'm going by my own personal experience. Yes, some women who aren't use to wearing nappy hair consider it undone as well as alot of black men. We are expected to get our hair done. And getting our hair done looks different to non black people. We can have a afro puff, and they'll like.

[@laer.393]

it’s super refreshing. i have long natural hair but it’s nice to just wear a puffy bun/buns, a fluffy braid out, or neat mini twists and not worry about ~laying my edges~ or ~curl definition~ 🤣🤣. as far as my man is concerned i’m hot and not bald so who cares. wm focus way more on naturalistic beauty (clear skin, relatively fit, thick hair) than all these details or “baddie” requirements. not only is it refreshing but it’s good for my hair! and my wallet lol, don’t have to spend 100’s to still get fed pasta and lobster 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@brandond1947]

@@user-pu6jc3kc6u ok I understand to a degree. I have a yt gf and she's ok with how I wear my hair wen I grow it out and likes my waves. It's a bit refreshing but I do understand I can't afford to just wear my hair a certain way becuz there is a certain perception black men have with certain hairstyles by blk women. For me I'm not sure if this narrative about bm and hair is too accurate. I do see blk men with blk women who are together who aren't obsessing over hair

[@gmoney6092]

wait wait wait let me get this straight....sooo you're trying to say that the only reason why black women try to make their hair look nice is because the big bad black man is too concerned their hair and the sweet white guy is so nice that he doesnt care how she looks even tho white men invented racism against black hair.... I have literally heard it all now lol.....

[@erikb5722]

As a white man dating black girls in Italy this video it's very interesting.. I can see many differences between dating a black woman in Europe and in USA. All I can say is that we usually dont care about the bad or good wigs here, even because we dont know how black hairs are lol for example I used to think the long braids where real hair 😅 Btw since in my country there are mostly african women the main problem about white/black dating Is about culture differences and different religion.. who cares of the hair 😂

[@beautifulsoulgirl8683]

My husband is a wm and so was my ex. WM don’t care about our hair like that. They don’t police our hair like bm. That’s why a “bad wig” means nothing. They care if we look presentable for certain occasions, but not how slayed a wig is. Just Brush it and let’s go. Also, they aren’t really into slayed edges. Too urban or hood for many of them. They often won’t approach a woman with “swirly edges” because visually they don’t find it natural looking.

[@markparham]

white men own the fashion industry they know what bad hairstyles look like you are making excuses stop being so naive

[@markparham]

white men own the fashion industry they know what bad hairstyles look like you are making excuses stop being so naive

[@beautifulsoulgirl8683]

@@markparham ​​⁠ wm run the fashion industry and love hiring natural hair bw who don’t wear wigs. I’ve dated wm all my life and married to one and one thing they don’t care about is our hair being straight and laid. They expect our hair to be more coarse, with coarse edges. So if we wear a wig that doesn’t look like Asian hair, they actually think it’s growing out of our head that is slightly coarse and long. Wm don’t think we are bald like bm do and often encourage us to be natural in their presence. If we decide not to be natural, they don’t police the wig.

[@markparham]

@@beautifulsoulgirl8683 if you only dated white men how do you know how black men feel about black women and the hairstyles black men prefer that would be like me talking about flying an airplane when i haven't been in the cockpit of an aircraft

[@sakuralein1]

@@beautifulsoulgirl8683 he is in ever comment 😭. I said I live in germany and white men just doesn’t care..

[@abluelark]

As a wealthy single white guy, this is the first I’m hearing this discourse, so thanks for the video. I honestly don’t think about wigs at all; I’m not even sure I’m able to spot them to be honest. That’s largely due to growing up in a predominantly white town, where wigs are not generally worn. I just assume everyone’s hair is their own. I think white men are just unaware, unexposed, and uneducated about black hair and the concepts of wigs.

[@rosewatersweettea]

What brought you to this video?

[@amberjasmine2347]

@@rosewatersweettea Random videos pop up on KZbin all the time.

[@UsagiTaughtMe]

Yes, exactly! I honestly think this is the answer. Most non-black men don't know anything about black hair. Good wig, bad wig, natural hair, relaxer, they just see it as hair. 😂

[@FaithsStardust]

@@rosewatersweettealol

[@thesecondYouTube]

Can't be rude to the guy then ask for the number 😂

[@ggw1776]

As a white man who lives in a predominately white area, I was college aged before I realized that there was such a thing as wig culture for black women. Of course I had seen black women on TV and in movies, but I had assumed that most were straightening their hair and didn't think much of it. As I've aged, I've come to dislike wigs only because I find natural hair so much more appealing. Not that my opinion matters that much in this discourse.

[@Kiamber_]

Geez black women can’t catch a break 😅 I don’t use Tik Tok and am unfamiliar with this discourse. Amanda says it isn’t meant to be negative but it still feels mean spirited.

[@moonbaby222]

exactly😭😭🧍🏾‍♀️

[@spacebar9733]

Its not negative I swear, I thought it was mean at first too but it's just something bw notice.

[@no.6377]

Nah it's pretty light hearted. But I can see it being offensive to some.

[@ksis86]

Honestly i think its more funny than mean 😂 i might have bad wigs but at least i got a man that loves me and put a ring on it, so to me its just not that deep

[@eryabolonha]

I think it has the potential to alienate even further these black women who probably were never fully felt accepted in the black community. We should really give us a break some time

[@bomberbcm]

I would argue tho that their is a similar theory concerning Black men with no shape ups jokingly meaning they’re partnered to white women. It’s not seen as much in an aspirational way but I do think it is curious how the perceived lack of care of black hair is reflected in their choice of non-black partners. (I think it’s reflected in a lack of cultural pressure with a partner that doesn’t care)

[@Bibirallie]

Exactly this! It has nothing to do with wanting to attract a partner, which is a narrow view.

[@Cnichal]

That hairline theory on Black men, is not far from the truth though, 😂 and neither is your point. I agree with you! I remember an old coworker who exclusively dated whyte men (even though these whyte men were beating her ass). Her sew-ins, always looked terrible! I found out later, she was getting them done by whyte women. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@justdoit.86yearsago]

You need cultural links to have the hook up on where to get your hair done. So bad wigs and no shape up is usually a sign that you don’t have a black friend group, placing you in closer proximity to date white

[@IshtarNike]

Definitely not surprising. My non-black friends always say they can't tell when I've combed my hair. Which is low-key rude because there is an obvious difference. The same way you can tell a difference between combed combed and finger combed straight hair. But whatever.

[@hannah60000]

@@IshtarNike Nah, they are taking the absolute mick! Side point: It somewhat explains the mixed race children with matted hair and a non-black mum!

[@loser69210]

i like the sentiment here, which is that black girls get tired of doing it all and sometimes need a good old party city wig and a white man to pamper them. and good for them! good for them.

[@fatubakarr9649]

Back in high school 2016. I recognize the obsession the black community had about perfect hair. Leave out must blend well, no stiff wig and baby hair must be slayed. Let’s not forget natural hair invite the nice nasty comments from black women. At that time I let go trying to have “perfect” hair. Baby that was hard and I would get comments all the time about my hair. That time I also stoped wearing leave out and relaxing went natural. It was hard too! Overall the pressure is real hard to have “perfect hair” with no hair out of place. Side note: I once had my hair in a Afro at the cafeteria line this blk boy pulled my hair I turn around he said “oh I thought it was fake”. It’s not only the women like the video said it’s the men too

[@ImTakingYouToFlavorTown]

You comment has sparked the horrifying thought that 2016 was almost 8 years ago now.

[@user-du7qp3qq6d]

Boys who do that have not been raised well in my opinion.

[@Noble-light01]

As a black woman who have meet a couple of millionaires in my life time- I hate wigs but I have one wig for emergency, which people will call a bad wig. To pull a millionaire has everything to do with your confidence and education. And bad wigs look realistic compared to laid down wigs.

[@ShandaP018]

I still date black men but I have bad wigs. I always have my kinky straight synthetic literally blown out and water dipped curled with a crochet part because I don't like screen door wigs. They look natural because of the imperfection..

[@EllaBeeMediaGroup]

Worn wigs definitely look more natural and the superior men are more focused on the economy. They have a deeper appreciation for women based on education and social etiquette.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@ShandaP018 We love you queen!!! I can't imagine rolling over and looking into the eyes of an oppressive being. Black women forever! Snow bunnies NEVER!!!!!!

[@RochellB46]

But when corporations judge you based on you’re hair it’s bad but you as a black woman can judge another blacks womans hair style and it’s cool

[@gorgonismztruth1551]

Modern marriage is a scam where females use the law and courts to steal mens money when they cheat and divorce him

[@leena5875]

i think a factor is that black women with “bad wigs” are often shunned for it by the black community or don’t have black influences that teach them “better” in the first place which probably pushes them to feel connected to white men who don’t have the knowledge to critique them or are their preference in the first place. Black men are often the first to criticize and reject women who don’t have hair on par with their standards

[@LM-he7eb]

Most black women not raised in the black community do not know how to keep their hair looking "good". But, they know how to navigate the white dating pool

[@LizzieHunterPaul]

I think shunned by the black community is a bit strong. 🤔 Especially considering half the comments that are dragging the person the other half are telling people to mind their own business or are generally indifferent.

[@hawkrose2698]

Yep , and how pathetic that black people even made this a thing.

[@user-ys2fl4xk6s]

No women criticize women. Dudes will bang a rock.

[@Understimated.]

Honestly as a black woman with a bad wig and a white husband…. This got me looking online for a HD premium wig lol

[@ea7109]

😂😂😂😂

[@Lakishia]

girl same.....whats wrong with my $4o dollar lace fronts???

[@ms.ednapost]

😂😂😂😂😂👏🏽

[@kilimanjaro5537]

Honestly, I don’t really find the TikTok’s about the bad wig soft life funny. It feels more like shade than a light hearted observation. It reeks of “I want what you have but I don’t think you’re deserving of what you have because you don’t conform to the black beauty standards.” Do I disagree to a full extent about the observation? No, but the same can be applied to all black women regardless of their partners race. It just feels like another attempt to put black women down who date outside of their race and it’s quite insulting. And in my personal experience, most of the Black women I’ve known and met with non-black partners usually have natural hair.

[@EmoShawtyJay]

girl something tells me you’re about to go absolutely viral over this video over time !!!

[@normalgirlbim]

yesss i agree, this video is so good

[@icomeinpeace3756]

Black women have identity issues

[@camlatchford6182]

I'm a white guy, I've dated black women before and my wife is indigenous afro-latina from south america. Personally I've always thought natural hair was gorgeous. I've always thought it's silly to limit yourself to dating only people that look like you!

[@dinkyboss]

Yeah as a black woman who happens to not wear wigs this whole video and topic is extremely cringe and tone def 😬

[@NovaDoll]

@@dinkybossI’ve been natural my entire life…

[@ObservingtheMatrix]

@@dinkyboss Yeah … super cringe and super shallow.

[@camlatchford6182]

Yah, to be honest I haven't heard about this tiktok trend and I'm not really active on social media at all. Honestly I'm happy about people dating outside of their race, I generally think it's a good thing, however if you're putting your partner in a box or stereotyping them, then it's not really love. I always get annoyed at people asking me "do you call your mother-in-law when your wife doesn't cook for you" because there's a stereotype that latin American women are like more "traditional" or "submissive" about gender roles....jokes on them because if I did that, my mother-in-law would tell me that I'm a grown man and I can cook for myself. My wife's family are very forward thinking, more so than most americans and her grandpa was a university professor....I just hate how people want to put members of different races in identity boxes

[@obamasgirl787]

An Afro Latina is a bootleg blk woman, just say you want a white woman with dark skin and keep it real.

[@hektorfrisch4547]

I'm white, I love afro hair in black women.

[@IIIv0]

I'm black and i love afro hair on black women too

[@shanaynaie]

I know y’all like to tussle, but I’d argue most black women’s wigs look bag regardless of who they’re dating. Most of these wigs don’t look natural or good, no matter who’s wearing them, because they are difficult to style. We can see the lace and the excessive pasted baby hairs Btw. I think this is just a funny way to pick at and single out a particular group of black women.

[@rebashley]

They be like, “lace where?” Baby, I see the lace with thine own eyes. A whole screen door of scalp worth. I always see it!! 😂😂😂

[@shanaynaie]

@@rebashley Facts! We absolutely see that hovering net that's supposedly a scalp..

[@Cindy99765]

Right..My partner is of Indian descent and eventually realized the wig I wore was fake, but he just said the color was cool and asked about other ways I styled my hair. Non-black men don't make a big deal about hair and it's refreshing.

[@remigal899]

Agreed. Most wigs black women put on look very bad, especially after they try keeping them on pass due.

[@naomikissedme]

Real

[@StarrGoddess77]

Why is this so hilarious. Once I was going through a depression episode but my cousin from outta town came and insisted we go out. I had to drag myself outta bed my hair was a mess so I just flung my kinky straight wig ontop of a low messy bun🤦🏾‍♀️ I know I looked a hot mess. Not only was I shocked when I got to the location, it was a fancy restaurant, but I kid you not the amount of white men stealing glance at me that night got me all self conscious. I went to the bathroom and I looked at the wig and yes I was embarrassed 😅 but it was too late I had to just commit 🤷🏽‍♀️. I went out back out and on my way to the table this older white gentleman stopped me and said I’m beautiful 😅😅😅 I was so confused.

[@JazzyFro]

I'm sorry but reading this has me dying 😂😂

[@Cutaisacamp]

@@JazzyFrono fr 😭 she ate with the wording

[@JazzyFro]

@@Cutaisacamp right! I'm like the delivery of the story has me WEAK 💀💀🤣🤣💀💀🤣🤣

[@butterflygirl01]

Lmao

[@keyahninaylor4974]

😂😂😂😂

[@VeronicaNiSheasnain]

I’m a white woman watching this random video that entered my life. It’s not about the wigs girls. White men like fun loving women. Simple

[@jammydoughnuts]

As a BW who has only dated non-black men, they really don’t care what we do with our hair. If anything, there is no style a white man loves more than natural hair. Whether you just woke up and it’s messy, a braid out, twist out, locs, they just like that we are natural and that they can actually touch our hair without us running away lmao. If they think you’re attractive, it really doesn’t matter. It’s a good thing to be in a relationship with someone who accepts you for who you are and doesn’t care about something so trivial as whether a wig is laid within an inch of its life or not.

[@user-ys2fl4xk6s]

Black men are the same but you often times have BW around that go mean girls for whatever reason they like.

[@cherrycordiaI]

My white husband loves my 3c hair. Shaved or grown out. It's all about being attracted to the woman you proposed to, not how laid her hair is.

[@1st_b]

BM: I prefer natural hair. BW: 😡🤬How dare you comment on my hair, I do this for me, stay out of women's business!🤬😡 WM: I prefer natural hair. BW: 🥰 Omg that's so refreshing to finally hear someone let me be free and embrace my natural hair!😍 😂Smh

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@cherrycordiaI Assuming you're an African [Black] person, what's your reasoning behind saying "I do" to a European male???

[@israeliana]

That's very true, especially on the ability to touch it. Last year i briefly dated a shy but cute white man, trust fund wealthy type, who was also in his 20s. He didn't care when I had fuzzy canerows one day and then the next day was wearing a £40 wig. He thought my hair enhance my beauty, and didn't even care that I obviously didn't straight my hair and grow 7 inches over two days. The only strange part was that he was always sneaking in to smell my hair because he likes the scent of the hair oil and my conditioner. So strange 😂 but I learned that his only hair preference was long hair that smells good. Even though my natural hair isn't super long, he found me attractive and liked the way I smelled, so he didnt care if I changed my hair every week. I miss how simple it can be to just `be` and not worry about laying my wigs or redoing my braids.

[@Ami-ml7gp]

I am black and my husband is white. Before I was married, I dated 1 black guy seriously for less than a year and all of my other dates were all white or Hispanic (the black population in my state is around 8%). I think the real issue is femininity as one of the ladies in the video mentioned. I have micro locs almost to my bottom, I wear dresses/skirts only outside of the home, and we are active in the church. We live a comfortable lifestyle, but I was doing well before we married. I thought I would marry someone of my own race, but they typically have no interest in me. I run, hike, lift, eat clean, and like outdoorsy stuff. In theory, it could be the energy or it could be a combination of that and femininity. Just for the record, I have never worn a wig 😂.

[@tangoblast7614]

some how I feel like laying this at feet of black women's lack of femininity only enables misogynior...

[@mehanimations2675]

'I am a black' is a wild thing to say

[@Feedaneeshaqua]

Are you suggesting that black men aren't interested in women who "run, hike, lift, eat clean, and like outdoorsy stuff"? Or that black women don't participate in those activities?

[@michelleb6935]

​@@Feedaneeshaqua No she saying the feminine energy the feminine essence. I lot of straight women act like men nowadays.

[@LuxxMa]

I’m glad you found love❤️, a lot of ppl in our race waste so much time

[@tika2glamorous]

The real winner is the black lady with the orange hair…….give me the wig if it means my life is going to be SOFT.

[@elyse443]

Almost all BW I see married to a WM have natural hair. I’m from LA where it’s common. I personally don’t even get hit on by BM with my natural hair. It’s WM who looove my natural hair personally and my husband can’t tolerate the Cookie Monster hair.😂

[@zakai-kaz]

Anecdotal lies

[@mayaferrel9553]

​@@zakai-kaz Are they anecdotes or are they lies? Pick one lmaoo More seriously; women here describing their personal experiences isn't an attack on black men. IDK why some ppl react that way and feel the need erase other ppl experiences or attack them. Why do you feel so strongly that black men are being insulted? You're not going to undo those women's lived experiences. If them thinking like that bothers you, be the change you want to see. Show them new experiences. Give them new anecdotes. Anything else is a waste of everyone's time, including yours!

[@msch3891]

Seen the same. So I'd guess it's not so much the wigs and "baddie" look for the wm. Bm are into hair texture, the weaves and wigs. Wm like hair too but place value on other things over hair.

[@MaryamOwens]

I haven't gotten past the title but OMG. Why did you choose violence this morning? 🤣

[@ArcadiasPlanet]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@rosepetals6895]

Whats of more importance is the natural hair theory- why most black men despise black women’s natural hair

[@tamiwithani]

exactly. remember when there was an influencer said 'i can only pull white boys with this hair' when she wore her shrunken 4c hair? it's because it's TRUE. Lots of black men HATE black women. I have been to France a lot and the black men there are always with some light skin or white women, but French men are all over the black women

[@rosepetals6895]

@@tamiwithani exactly like thats a better conversation to have. Why do black men always want black women to be done up 24/7 and why does natural hair equate “unkempt” for black men.

[@jaymadets]

most black american men*

[@aliyah8926]

As a black girl I LOVE THIS AND IT IS A QUESTION IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO

[@1439315]

Men do NOT like fake long hair. Looks and is silly. -cheers

[@TacoJolly]

I grew up in a very rural county where - verified by the US census - the population was 99.8% white people. I had no idea about wigs until I was 23, living in the Bay Area. Because I wasn't raised around it I just can't always tell if someone has one on, let alone what a good one is. I learned a lot while dating in California.

[@ADesolateAngel]

​@@1439315most men are too desperate and sexualize women way too much and are only with them for like one thing so I doubt that most men would care about hair especially if her face or body is hot LOL

[@thekalenichannel1812]

​@@1439315 simply not true. I don't wear wigs, only wear my natural hair but I can acknowledge that a lot of men very much do like fake long hair....

[@kaiserchan4683]

@@1439315speak for yourself bud, I dig a girl who has a new style every month yes please

[@rebeccaaurora6955]

You are my youtuber of choice rn. Your takes on pop culture are so well researched and you’re an amazing writer. Ty for providing us with such high quality content!

[@amandamaryanna]

Wow, thank you!

[@briannajones3223]

i met my partner in 10th grade. we are still together and have twins. my son is white appearing but is BLACK! and filipino, jewish. my daughter looks asian and black(brownskin). but she is also jewish! like this is so scary for me that my kids will be dealing with this in the future and im going to have to educate them on filipino,jewish and black history. his mother was so happy that my son was fair and it dawned on me how colorism exists in the philippines and his mom is around my complexion. my mother in laws sister is darker than me and they are filipino. so im in the process of educating them about blackness and our hair texture. we need to stop gatekeeping blackness because we are allowing misinformation and allowing to oppress us as a community.... most black men didnt want me because i spoke "too white/proper" but clearly dont know they got it fucked up. im just really good at adapting and still am connected to my black culture. my partner loves me with my hair fresh out the shower while i feel most black men would call us jerome with our wet and go. not all black men are like that but its strange how we are not mentioning that most black women end up with other races when we are denied by our own. and lastly, our home is paid off. we dont have debt..... maybe our community should stop dating based on race and date people who can lead you to a better future and keep you HAPPY. arguments still happen, but its not the same....the way i saw my mother be treated is horrendous and i think its a result of forcing black people to love each other when they are not compatible all the time... just love who you want to love and if they happen to be the same race as you then thats amazing. much love and i hope we can get back to being like our folks were in the 60s-70s. being black was something to be proud of but in 2023-2024 its about boxes and who fits in. and we are literally doing the paper brown bag test and blue vein society type of gatekeeping. spewing hatred at black women who acquired the life that our ancestors wanted. and we didnt date out our race back in the day because it was ILLEGAL! we have the rights to do that now so you will see it more often.

[@kelceynicole]

the title alone is why I clicked😂😂😂

[@nicholasKMAmusic]

The title of this video is SENDING ME😂😂😂😂

[@ninkiminjaj2312]

yeah it's deffo not a positive thing lmao! the "happy for her" comments are, imo, obviously tinged with a kind of subtle mocking. most of the women writing those tiktoks would not actually feel confident enough to ACTUALLY wear a stiff wig, even if it would attract a white man. the unspoken consensus is that it's generally better to appear "put together" by the standards of the black community than by a white man's standards. its an insidious joke to make fun of black women who don't subscribe to the black woman aesthetic, either because they can't afford it, or more likely grew up around white people and therefore don't know how to "do" their hair to an acceptable standard.

[@beaniepq]

you clearly understood the assignment. completely agree.

[@majesty9985]

It's not the bad wig, it's the CONFIDENCE to wear a bad wig and still bag a (most likely wealthy) white man. Lol, most girls with "pretty" wigs don't have the confidence without the wig.

[@heygirlhey9363]

The hard wig soft life also has to do with most affluent neighborhoods don’t have hairstylist do black hair properly. When I moved to affluent neighborhood in Orange County there were NO hair stylist that could do black hair properly and if I wanted to get my hair done I would have to go over an hour away to get my hair done. I learned how to do my hair and other black women would ask who did my hair because they couldn’t find a stylist to do their hair.

[@ashleyhampton8259]

Not going to lie. Kind of disappointed that you chose to highlight this discourse. I feel like no matter how you look at it, it’s anti black. We need to stop putting each other down and uplift each other instead. Maybe help the girl with her bad wig instead of judging her? And I think it has more to do with proximity of where that person grew up and personality versus “choosing” to look bad.

[@blackkat8881]

I’m a BW who met my WBF while fully natural. When we got married years later I rocked braids in a classy up-do, in preparation for our Caribbean honeymoon. Several weeks later I took them out. I’m still rocking my natural coils, no relaxer, no weaves, no wig. I don’t even press it in any way. 13 years later. We still together and I’m still natural. So I guess I can’t relate.

[@daniemay9321]

Can’t either, my husband loves my hair natural. I even cut my hair this year to start my hair journey and he loves it

[@maryfields877]

I’ve been married to my husband for 20 years (WM) and I found this discussion interesting. I’ve never really seen it myself but maybe I’m not looking hard enough, lol. On our honeymoon, the was another BWWM couple in our snorkeling group. I’m a swimmer of sorts so I got my hair braided for the trip. The other couple was not American, likely from Northern Europe and the woman had on wig and was struggling to keep it on with all the gear. Now, she was beautiful, perfect dark skin, nice teeth, thin, body was a 10. Her hair was just off, but as an American Black woman, I wondered why she didn’t get her hair braided. But thinking about it, depending on where they were from, maybe she didn’t have access to a braider. I wanted to talk to her because we kept looking at each other but there was clearly a language barrier so I just admired her. Her wig didn’t make her less beautiful in my eyes so I’m sure she wasn’t any less beautiful in his.

[@teamwhit2you519]

I agree, 11 years married here and been natural the last 8 years. My husband loves my natural hair, I wear it in its natural state most of the time. He’s liked it every step of the way, when it was shorter and now that it’s long. I can’t relate to the hard hat wig thing!

[@MT-yx5cu]

Your experience is the norm. This video is a bold faced lie for clicks and engagement in an attempt to humble black women once again.

[@tomatobanks5036]

@@MT-yx5cuwhat a ridiculous video. Earned a quick thumbs down from me 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@MNIU_]

As someone who has been in the military over half my life and worked in that space , white men will marry fast and ALL their wives are SAHW / SAHM , that’s why it confuses me when I get on social media and consistently hear this rhetoric of “marriage is 50/50” and at one point I was like 🤔 this is a black community issue bc honestly wtf my co worker literally said to me the other day of course he has a life insurance policy (at 28 and yep he’s been married for 8 years ) bc wtf is his wife going to do with no experience or qualifications if something happens to him. Ask anyone who works in govt space they will tell you these white men are married and their wives are stay at home .. expectantly They change their work schedules due to what their wife wants or needs, they help with the kids … it’s literally an EXPECTATION.. it’s probably why they can move fwd so fast bc they aren’t having petty arguments about “whose plate gets fixed first? The father or the kids or the ex baby daddy”

[@prncessbaby16]

Dang this is soooooo true!

[@Callimo]

Well, tbh, these guys marry fast, but also get divorced just as fast. And, tbh, these army guys have supported by the government in many ways: education, healthcare, housing, etc etc. So ofc the spouses can stay home most of the time. I think you might be a bit biased by the "success stories" and not see the other side of fast soldier marriages. (Dependas, constant cheating, etc} Also, most White people do have enough generational wealth to get a leg up from their parents or grandparents. Especially if the army has been a family career for generations.

[@msch3891]

Right. BC issue. How many bm saw their bw mothers as a sahm/w? More than likely the mother was the only parent that was the breadwinner and always working hard. "Worked many jobs and still cooked and cleaned for 15".....No fathers in the household as the sole provider providing for the home. If both parents were there the mother was probably still struggling. I realized that as a child at school that many ww and other races of women were sahm/w. It's not the norm or standard for bw in the BC.

[@msch3891]

@@Callimo As op said It's not an expectation in the BC. Bm don't expect themselves to be full providers, especially not for bw. Good or bad wig. When they have money to cover it all they haul!

[@chubbybunny3778]

Lmao "whose plate gets fixed first, the father, the kids or the ex baby daddy?"😭😭😭

[@fromthegetgo4981]

my husband has just literally never judged me for my hair. there’s even more of us black women with natural hair and white husbands.

[@XQN-R]

Tbh I’ve had non black people look at me strangely when my hair looks bad or good to me. So I will never know really until someone openly says I like your hair.

[@milkflavored]

This!! Ive (thankfully) had nice black people compliment me on my hair, but outside of that, I don't have anyone in my immediate circle to tell me if it looks good or bad, so I have to practice self love and just style it in a way that looks good to me. As much as I've wished for a sister or a close friend in my life to tell me, I'm kind of grateful not to be under the constant pressure of having to be a "presentable black woman" at all times, in the fear that my looking unkempt will reflect badly on the entire race.

[@celeste7469]

You really put that women’s pic up and sat down to discuss her wig!? Let me help y’all out so you never have to ponder over this. It does not matter how laid your wig is, how long your hair is or how tight your braids are. It does not matter what’s on your head it matters what’s IN it. This whole convo is giving low self esteem, low self worth. When you truly love your self you won’t be worrying about who likes your hair or how another woman got her man. I watched the episode and that woman showed so much happiness and joy for life. Focus on your energy.

[@HDorce12]

This is embarrassing. Why do videos and theories like this exist?!

[@Jasmine-uu2xo]

ikr....so many non-blacks in the comments too. BP need to be more secretive w topics concerning race-relations bc everyone is always in our business

[@ahmosel4901]

Too embarrass the community 🙃

[@dia9916]

This is an unserious question 😂 and I am seated!

[@innocehnt75]

its nice to not be policed and ridiculed for my appearance for once. i know its not all black men but jesus, some bad apples have really ruined the bunch for me.

[@Nethanda]

Most nonblack people ridicule black women's hair the most

[@R-il7hj]

Oh no. Not black women dating whoever they want! We need to criticise this asap

[@gabbygabbygabbyoioioi]

I find it fascinating that the mention of size (being a skinny Black woman specifically) was another factor in the initial statement that sparked all of this, but the size aspect rarely gets acknowledged in tiktoks or comments despite how that seems to be another major quality of the black women that do end up with rich, white men. Someone a lot more eloquent than me can see if there’s also something to say about this ~phenomenon being more associated with a body type not often connected to black women (not saying there aren’t skinny black women ofc, just that upholding thinness isn’t as common compared to white circles so it’s interesting that a Black woman that does uphold/fall in line with that specific beauty standard is a part of this ‘type of Black woman that snags a rich white man’)

[@milkflavored]

Hard agree. I wish we could have more discourse on this. I'm assuming the BW w/ WM in the comments have a similar body type (thin), as none of them have brought this up??

[@butterflygirl01]

⁠​⁠@@afrofelinesI’m skinny but the majority of black women are curvy, even many skinny ones are. My mom is skinny, but she’s curvy and has a natural bbl. Idk why black women are ashamed of it all of a sudden , South African black women are very curvy and thick women. Black women by far all over the world have the most feminine body shapes. It’s not a notion, it’s a fact, despite many of us skinny black women , the vast majority are thicker, curvy, and have big butts.

[@gabbygabbygabbyoioioi]

@@afrofelines Nowhere in my comment did I state that all Black women are African American (which has nothing to do with the comment anyway) or that it’s a group-wide struggle with obesity. Statistics don’t always align with what culture commonly associates with a group of people whether negative or positive (e.g. most cultural representatives of Brazil inside and outside of the country are light-haired white people when most Brazilians are Black or mixed with Black). Western society routinely associates a curvier body with Blackness-even if it’s inaccurate for Black ethnicity groups beyond Black Americans. There’s a reason why people come for Kim Kardashian and associate the curvy manipulation of her body to her trying to emulate Black women. The association with Black women of any ethnicity group being connected to a curvier body goes back even before Sarah Baartman in the 1800s (who was South African). _Cultural associations rarely care if it’s true or not or if it causes harm._ I simply found it interesting that the original creator of this TikTok statement made it a point to mention thinness as a criteria for this phenomenon as culturally Western people _are_ less likely to associate it with Blackness and nobody mentions it. It doesn’t mean there aren’t Black thin supermodels (as if they are representative of any race or ethnicity group anyway) or that all Black people deal with obesity. Those are all separate statements to the comment made.

[@nala8179]

You always discuss tough topics so gracefully!

[@amandamaryanna]

Thank you, I try!

[@hollyberries2u]

Was minding my business and came across the thumbnail like hold up...what!!!😂😂😂😂😂

[@yzma6142]

So many of these creators are focusing so much on the hair part and not on the skinny part lol. It’s like they refused to hear it. I’m sorry but for some reason most rich white men loveeee skinny women of all races. I truly don’t know why lol but I’ve noticed it. This is more common than the whole “bad wig” trend if we’re really keeping it a buck

[@milkflavored]

THIS. Across all races, you need to be thin or its a no go! Just trading one hardline beauty standard for another..

[@msch3891]

Yes. Slim build. I mentioned that too. I don't think I've seen them with a bbl baddie or good laid wig with laid baby hairs type.

[@ViraL_FootprinT.ex.e]

I always just figured that the whole _BW with "bad" wigs being with WM_ thing was really just more about the WM in question not having much experience with BW's hair and therefore not knowing what a "bad" wig even is. And in those relationships, it maybe takes a lot of the pressure off of the woman to have to maintain something thats more of a financial, and possibly time consuming, burden.

[@chakradjuzeus9275]

Most all the wigs and weaves look bad and trashy. I can’t tell the difference. 🗣️”TAKE THAT WIG OFF!”

[@kita2361]

I haven’t seen many real life relationships between black women and white men because its not as common in my area as seeing the reverse (black men and white woman) but the very few times I have noticed them, I’ve observed that they’re usually darkskinned, very beautiful (like model level status) and wear straight hair wigs, though I don’t remember if it was “bad” or not.

[@AfrooBlack]

Thisssssss. It depends on the location. A WM in North Carolina won't have the same taste as a WM in Georgia. It's clear as day. WM in Georgia LOVE natural haired women from my experience. But go to the Carolinas oh boy. I believe it's because WM there are accustomed to the long hair = beauty. So wearing a wig should be the go to.

[@kf9781]

@@AfrooBlack omg u not lying. I’m from GA and the WM here looooooooove natural hair. Stretched, shrunk, twisted or braid out!

[@didyallseethat499]

I think the reason has to do with the fact that when black women are in community with other Black people, they have a better understanding of black hair and black hair enhancements. Whereas if you grew up in community with predominantly, non-Black people, and in non-black spaces, you don’t really learn how to style your hair or your hair extensions. When you combine that with the knowledge that people tend to date within their community, you see how black women with hard hair end up going out with, and marrying non-black men.

[@milkflavored]

W comment

[@user-ys2fl4xk6s]

Also a WM can see exactly what you just said and know you prob are not connected to blackness in a way that you will EVER challenge him on anything. So it's much easier for them.

[@aleyahk1977]

I wish 100%, ALL EVERY black women had locs / Afros / braids / just not straight hair bc whyyyyy lol we the only ones with this texture of hair !!!!!!

[@maramma4780]

Real talk why don’t we embrace this uniqueness

[@ced.ricooo]

oprah was so vile for that

[@1missmeeks]

😂🤣😂😭😭😭

[@malsi840]

Oprah is always prying. lol

[@jamesl3058]

I know this a discourse that has been going on for a while but the fact that you made a video....EVERYTHING LOL

[@venusaja]

this whole “hard wig soft life” thing makes a mockery of Black women and it’s really not even funny at all

[@ObservingtheMatrix]

I have so many thoughts on this as an interracially partnered person. I grew up in a Jamaican household that was first generation American and because we were poor my mom always just cut my hair with some clippers over the kitchen sink and called it a day. I had the most loving home so I didn’t ever think anything of it til I got older and I realized how obsessed people were with their “line up”, “waves”, and 90s du rag culture. I know this may seem high minded but that always felt like bondage to me. It felt like African Americans accepted this plight of life that said you’re only as good as your aesthetic presentation & you better not have “bad hair”. Later I realized how it informed how people partner to have kids with “good hair”. Overheard so many parents talk bad about their own kids because of the struggle to “tame” their “naps”. This discourse just feels like another level of that. People realizing through social media that OMG you can find love without the perfect “what lace” wig install? How dare these people divest from what “the culture” had deemed “the standard”. I quietly have always loved couples that have this look. Or the blk guy who has “I date white women” hair cut. It’s my own little fight against white supremacy & it has hurt my partnering with other black ppl BUT I find that to be a small price to pay for individual freedom.

[@Ruledbythehead]

It reminds me of the way black people used to be made “presentable” for the auction block and is nothing but a remnant of that practice. I actually grew up in Jamaica and didn’t leave until college. When I left I told myself that I had never been a minority in my life and I wasn’t about to become one. The siloing of a neat little description of blackness and being black (in America at the very least) feels like nothing more than having a permanent branding on my back. To see people willfully sign up for that, and to see black women in particular, across the diaspora, fall into the same bullshit every fucking time, makes me want to scream.

[@Glowingson]

You sound dusty lol

[@LizzieHunterPaul]

There’s definitely such a thing as being obsessed with your looks and prejudiced towards other black people and how they wear their hair, but going so far as to imply that adhering to a beauty standard is somehow the fault of the person and not the group who set the standard feels off. A lot of Black people are hyper vigilant about their hair because of America’s discomfort with Blackness as a whole. A lot of Black women relaxed their hair to the detriment of their curl pattern so they could go to work without complaints from others. Schools have suspended Black kids for their locs. Others got complaints about the smell of coco butter. Black people have a right to make their own rules about how they want to look. Do some people take that too far and weaponize it to be colorist/racist, of course. But everyone follows a set of unspoken standards. Take a woman shaving her armpits and legs for example. Shaving is a choice every woman has but that doesn’t change the fact men have made it clear that not doing it is unsightly and unhygienic. Would I then rip women apart for shaving? No way. I wouldn’t blame women for adhering to a standard they didn’t invent in the first place. And I’m sure no one implies a nonblack person is constricted because they want to use a self tanner.

[@TheBlackCommanderReborn]

​@@Glowingsonyou sound crusty and bitter too

[@dinkyboss]

As a black woman I 100% agree. It absolutely feels like bondage at a certain point. Especially when you get dragged for not meeting some artificial quota.

[@nodistractions5548]

Shera says, she isn’t a dating/relationship coach, she considers herself someone who teaches women to get the bag.

[@gurlgunz]

Yea she gonna get these girls hurt

[@TheBlackCommanderReborn]

She's a clown. A woman old enough to be my grandmother, on TikTok giving horrible advice to women and even girls.

[@Trust_No_One_0316]

I see white men loving black women real natural hair

[@lug358]

As a psychologist that had to work with words like "theory" i think people confuse the word theory with the word "hypothesis" which is what they really mean. They are not talking about a theory but about a hypothesis.