the black wife effect is real

[@detriticore]

The one thing that bothers me about the black wife effect is that it's framed as something the wife did to her husband-- which puts all responsibility on the wife-- instead of the husband's voluntary, unprompted decision to take responsibility for his appearance out of respect for the partnership.

[@ChiTown2k69]

I have a passport for Ghana this year and now I shop at Nordstrom instead of Walmart..I absolutely LOVE my Karl Lagerfield loafers. IJS. Drizzle Drizzle

[@brotherumarj3370]

That's your spin on it. Nobody on tiktok explained how and why they got to where they did. 9/10 she gently nudged him into it. The white men who have style dont need any mammying, they already come prepared.

[@TheCastedone]

Black dudes change with white women. What's the issue.

[@frida507]

It could also be a natural adjustment from hanging out with people who put more effort and interest in appearance and fashion. I'm a foreigner but from youtube fore example I see that American black men talk about matching colors and accessories (and roast each other) while many white American men seem unbothered. Italian men seem to put more effort into their style and someone who moves there will probably be affected after a while. Doesn't even have to be consciously, but culture rubs off... And if you start from a stage where you didn't really try there can often be a larger potential for improvement, compared to someone who already knows their strong and weak points, if a beard is flattering on them or not.

[@frida507]

@@TheCastedone Agree, that's the person you spend most time with and also you hang out with each others family and friends and get new influences. And if you're a city girl and marry a farmer you'll most likely change as well.

[@LegendsofVana]

Honestly, I found this trend endearing. It’s heartwarming to see Black women being celebrated and valued in the media, especially since they are often marginalized and told they are undesirable.

[@D13vest]

How does BW upgrading dusties show they are being celebrated? BW telling filty WM to take a shower just shows what BW would accept

[@brebri89]

@@D13vest you mad bro 🤡

[@Woodland-Gangsta]

Get a job! Clearly it's not the black wife effect. It's the dominant culture effect. Something that I've said hundreds of times as it relates to interracial relationships. Someone has to submit to the other person's culture if the relationship is going to last.

[@ValueSeekerOnline]

Ok lets take a closer look at the statistics, this is not to offend anyone who chooses to date or marry inter-racially but is based solely on statistics and they are as follows >>>>> In the United States, approximately 96% of married Black women are married to Black men. On the other hand, about 20.1% of white women are married to Black men, while 9.4% of white women are married to Asian men . Interestingly, newlywed Black men are twice as likely as newlywed Black women to be intermarried, with 24% of Black men and 12% of Black women in interracial marriages. These figures highlight some of the trends in race and marriage, but keep in mind that individual experiences can vary significantly. More than a quarter of white men ( 72 %) are married to Asian women which is the largest of all interracial marriages world wide. Keep in mind that this isn't just based on the calculated numbers of White men and Asian women in the US at around 42 % of all interracial marriages. Additionally, Asian women are more likely to be living with white men than with Asian men, making cohabitation's even more prevalent. However, all this trending non since could turn any man off regardless of their race because it makes us feel like the women doing it are desperate and only making such videos to get back at their race of men.

[@Abandoned2377]

You need to raise your standards and respect yourself. This is offensive.

[@KhaleeltheCooterCatRealness]

Pasta and lobster cinematic universe 💀💀💀💀😂😂. The PLCU!!

[@Piasays]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@rocksofoffence.righteousam2422]

Who's the Lobster?

[@Reverse_Cat_Cowgirl]

I was about to leave a comment like this, lol. I'm glad we all laughed at that.

[@monovatherealest]

​@@rocksofoffence.righteousam2422 Nobody is the lobster; 'pasta and lobster' is just something mentioned/popularized by the rapper Kaliii in her song "Area Codes" when talking about a (fictional) white boy she's seeing

[@LittleDogTobi]

Thank you as always. I learn something new from all your trend analyses. Also: “If a man doesn’t think you’re cute, that’s the end of the story. He’s not going to go on a date with you just because you could potentially have an awesome personality.” Ain’t that the truth 😢

[@janaekelis]

this is just that meme of bratz dolls with a lego man husband

[@Xmoonlight93]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@sandstorm6194]

I need that to be a story

[@tcl09110]

This is the complete opposite of the hard wig, soft life theory 😭

[@jaquelinecosta3121]

They're opposite theories but not contradictory! With the hard wig theory, if black women want a RICH rich husband they dress well but keep the wig hard that essentially shows these white men that they're "exotic". These men's perception is that these women are like "proper African" and not your typical black American city girl who know how to lay down and melt a wig. It shows that they may less experienced in their wealthy world and are also more domestic, not caring that much to their appearance which is perfect for these rich white men because they want someone that admires them while taking care of them too. So he flaunts his wealth to her, she gets super impressed and he likes that attention and in gratitude she reciprocates by being his house wife. The Black Wife Effect theory, on the other hand doesn't indicate that these men were ever rich. These are regular white men..some probably earn well while some just have an average income. And they are not necessarily attracted to these "hard wig" women like actual wealthy men are. So the black women from the wife effect theory can be in fact that black American city girls that way more put together than the "hard wig" women. Now whenever you're in a relationship and if it's an healthy one, you start to look more like your partner and since women have a better sense of style than men, in relationships where the husband cares and cherishes the wife's opinion, it's bound to happen that she will most likely influence him and his sense of style. Also just in general, when we care about someone we want them to look the best so this "wife/girlfriend effect" mostly happens in good healthy relationships, regardless of the race.

[@T.H-v4h]

White men do not look that hard into wigs. Bad wigs are going to be what’s around white people.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@jaquelinecosta3121 The develop Eurocentric views, then attempt to distant themselves from Blackness

[@BigBossKandie23]

@@jaquelinecosta3121 The stiff wig simply means the black woman was not cultured. She probably was raised with white people and most likely she's not like the stereotypical black woman. The stiff wig is when a black woman adopts the culture of white men. The black girl effect is when the white men adopt the culture of the black woman. But look at Travis Kelsey or whatever his name is. As soon as he got with Taylor swift all that changed.

[@FreedomAintFree-ol6fy]

​@@BigBossKandie23I want to stay in this for a moment. When you say "adopt the culture of white men" or the same for black women, you're saying as a statement of fact that there is such a distinct culture. So I'm curious just have a baseline understanding, what are the customs, standards, and norms that makeup black culture? Also, is this a black American conversation or does it include Africans?

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Over-analysis of TikTok is honestly a great way to spend time.

[@moderngoblin]

No…. It’s not…

[@dreamerspringswalks]

your comment is lowkey a roast too

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@dreamerspringswalks It could tilt either way but my intention is positive. Also, it’s banned in certain countries so I’m that much more invested

[@xxxjiggalo]

china living indirectly rent free in your head

[@misspriss5589]

This is the worst comment ive read on youtube

[@witchplease9695]

I just like seeing Black women celebrated and not bashed for once.

[@Tmac_305]

I love that, but I don't like to see Black women fetishized.💜👑

[@ksager123]

Fon

[@thewiseone6049]

Hold each other accountable and people will stop bashing yall

[@TheoZier-gi8rg]

Yeah but be aware of what some people are after. The world loves everything black except the people

[@butterflygirl01]

@@thewiseone6049accountable for what? No…

[@patrice6139]

As a black woman dating an Asian man, I'm here for this trend. I love seeing black women thriving and in healthy and loving relationships. We need more of this in our media.

[@clementinelives]

🤎🤎

[@D13vest]

Its not the medias duty to celebrate BW. If anything, tell your asian man to celebrate you in Asia and see what happens

[@YMBKing]

@@D13vest😂😂

[@wavveytae4181]

@@D13vestwow so negative what does this even mean.

[@D13vest]

@@wavveytae4181 Telling an Asian man to celebrate a BW in Asia is negative?

[@joepiekl]

I think it's similar to the old movie trope of the nerdy girl with glasses who later in the movie shows up without her glasses and "OMG, she's so beautiful!"

[@gbbs9]

ikr! most of the men just grew a beard😂

[@djlivvy46]

​@@gbbs9- hair is makeup for men, and that includes facial hair.

[@devonmunn5728]

Even as a kid I never understood that trope

[@garthyahudahandrews8504]

@@djlivvy46 something that is natural can never be makeup listen to your logic lol

[@djlivvy46]

@@garthyahudahandrews8504 - you're not understanding the nuance of my comment. And that's ok.

[@T.H-v4h]

My boyfriend is white and I love this trend. It’s suppose to be fun and light hearted. Plus I love seeing love for black women no matter what race they date

[@LegendsofVana]

I thought the trend was cute, as well. It’s nice seeing black women being loved and appreciated for a change. ♥️

[@kevinc3342]

It's obvious these WM need help to become better men - they can't do it on their own. They never could...

[@Reverse_Cat_Cowgirl]

Another thing this sentiment reminds me of is that sometimes in mix race relationships, your partner might appreciate things about you that people of your racial dateing pool didn't. It can encourage you to not hide those things about yourself.

[@RainingPouringSnoring]

That's such an interesting take. Never thought of that before

[@djlivvy46]

Black women have been saying this for decades now.

[@joeyneuenkirch8928]

I have been married to my QUEEN for 22 years, we have 6 children and eight grand children. She is my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. She helped me take pride in myself. I did a 100 percent turn around with my appearance, with her help. She is beautiful and I wanted to present myself to that leverl that she would be proud. That is my queen and I treat her as such. Vice versa, I have never been treated so well and she is my ride or die. I protect her to the end. No one will hurt my queen!!!

[@nathanielreichert4638]

I love the black wife effect. I dated an amazing black girl for three years, and what started as her shopping for me and dressing me up and shaping my eyebrows turned into me doing it for myself: just loving myself, loving my appearance at its best and buying/wearing clothes that turned heads and made me feel really confident ❤

[@Tmac_305]

Weak

[@ksager123]

You're clearly a female trolling on a fake account 😂

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

😂 you want a cookie

[@ksager123]

@@WatchingEyes-g9w it's a black fefail troll account

[@terryshumate5667]

You may be gay

[@giantpinkcat]

If the white guy is short in Pasta Lobster, would it be called "Shrimp Alfredo"?

[@sybillelegitime4709]

😂😂😂😂 you need to leave

[@queenbee3561]

Lmao

[@NubianQueen8]

Skrimp scampi 🤭😂 jk

[@HellCat_Kenny]

Aye bruh don't knock my shrimp scampi now 😂

[@NubianQueen8]

@@HellCat_Kenny my b 🤭😂

[@enmity9383]

the flavor has to be there to begin with, we just add some seasoning and bring it out 😂

[@poshlady43]

Truth.... I cannot be seen with someone unseasoned and can't get with my groove and style.

[@skorpionraps191]

My black/puerto Rican woman showed me this trend and said I'm gonna be next and honestly. I like it.🤷🏽‍♂️🤣

[@Mini-ge9sm]

I feel black women give them a new level of confidence. When I was dating an Asian man, I noticed he stared to stand taller and more confident.

[@clementinelives]

Shoutout black women

[@NunYAhBOption]

For what! Genetically removing themselves from their Father gene pool! Yet; ask yourself why women from other ethnic groups are killing themselves. To look or appear have black women’s assets! They were genetically gifted with their Negroe Father & Mother superior genes? These new generation black women have absolutely no clue, what they are rejecting! Their god given inheritance of their FATHERS superior genes! When they go to the family barbeque picnic, and compare their blended offspring. With their original family offsprings, then and only then, will they understand the downgrade! The Deception is Real! Love has no “color” yet choices has consequences upon the children produced!

[@kirby7475]

Yeah as a man I can attest to this. Haven't been in a relationship with a black woman before, but i've definitely received some much needed advice on style from the women I have been with it. It's crazy how eye opening it is when you look at your old photos and just cringe at what you used to look like pre-relationships😂 Just wanted to note that it isn't women's responsibility to make sure her man is well put together, that's his own responsibility. However I would hesitate to blame men for a lack of stylistic awareness. We've really not been done any favors as far as what society tells us to dress like to be honest. Although I think that's slowly changing.

[@lovelylaughter11]

Verrryy important caveat: "A man with a beard that connects"

[@aprilshowers3246]

worth his weight in gold

[@christophergreen9928]

Not the drawstring backpack! 😵‍💫

[@ValueSeekerOnline]

Ok lets take a closer look at the statistics, this is not to offend anyone who chooses to date or marry inter-racially but is based solely on statistics and they are as follows >>>>> In the United States, approximately 96% of married Black women are married to Black men. On the other hand, about 20.1% of white women are married to Black men, while 9.4% of white women are married to Asian men . Interestingly, newlywed Black men are twice as likely as newlywed Black women to be intermarried, with 24% of Black men and 12% of Black women in interracial marriages. These figures highlight some of the trends in race and marriage, but keep in mind that individual experiences can vary significantly. More than a quarter of white men ( 72 %) are married to Asian women which is the largest of all interracial marriages world wide. Keep in mind that this isn't just based on the calculated numbers of White men and Asian women in the US at around 42 % of all interracial marriages. Additionally, Asian women are more likely to be living with white men than with Asian men, making cohabitation's even more prevalent. However, all this trending non since could turn any man off regardless of their race because it makes us feel like the women doing it are desperate and only making such videos to get back at their race of men.

[@mchjsosde]

My poor (now) husband used to wear these awful khaki toms nearly every day😔 thankfully they've been unofficially retired for over a year ago. He is handsome and white so he gets away with wearing things that would otherwise make me suspect him being a tweaker. But generally he dresses in the same style with some pieces that i bought for him or encouraged him to buy.

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

A Black spouse indicates consciousness, pride, strength, and a high self-image A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image

[@Xnovality]

@@DrUmarJohnson1you’re obsessed with white men

[@kevinc3342]

It's obvious these WM need help to become better men - they can't do it on their own. They never could...

[@JaredBurdick]

I wasn't aware of this trend, but am definitely an example of it 😅

[@fadedandfrustrated]

Me (the aformentioned Black wife): I'm sending you a video; the thumbnail alone should hurt your feelings lmao Him: I already commented 🫠

[@toriisa]

​@@fadedandfrustrated Loved your dynamic🥰 it's funny😂😂😂

[@crunchysalmons]

fr, with the pasta and lobster and now this, i feel a finger pointing right at me

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@crunchysalmons I'm point the finger at you...........Black men/women forever! Snow bunnies NEVER!!!!

[@mees2751]

As. Black women I love to see my sisters celebrated. The most beautiful women in the world.

[@Tmac_305]

Just not fetishized

[@ksager123]

Get outta here

[@thewiseone6049]

😅😅😅

[@terryshumate5667]

I wouldn't go that far

[@drhall343]

This is just Kip's arc in Napoleon Dynamite. 😂

[@HellCat_Kenny]

Bro too real 😂😂

[@Baphomets_Kid]

I’m looking forward to Napoleon Dynamite 2 and Kip being a total Don Juan.

[@kokushiibou]

im a bw dating a mexican guy and neither one of us know how to create an outfit that doesn’t include a black tshirt or joggers so this trend doesn’t really work for us but it’s a cute trend nonetheless lmao

[@mewnboy]

“if the credit card swipes it doesn’t matter that his face card declines” FKEVEJGKAHJFNIM

[@okay5045]

It is about time Black women are getting their due for the amazing people they are and the swag they help their men to achieve.

[@AngelisaHassan]

Maybe they just glow up because they are in love in a positive relationship. Plus women are just more stylish.

[@galaxylucia1898]

Are you sure women are more stylish? Or, are they SOCIALIZED to be style-conscious due to the “male gaze”? I only ask because if the majority of fashion brands and high-end fashion houses are dominated by MEN, then maybe fashion isn’t as gender-based as you think.

[@AngelisaHassan]

@@galaxylucia1898 It aint that deep.

[@djlivvy46]

​@@galaxylucia1898- but who actually buys most of the product?

[@filmadcamp1512]

@@galaxylucia1898 Fashion houses are dominated by *gay men

[@sandstorm6194]

​@galaxylucia1898 bro, I am not the girlie's of girls that care about "male gaze" and I love fashion, it's creative, it shows who i am, not what a man sees me

[@sdc8598]

The Mammie trope doesn’t apply (thank Gawd) your points on black women and the effects of respectability politics and interracial unions is spot on; along with everything else…..I enjoyed your commentary and humor💛

[@boiling_snow_water_]

This is true...we've all seen Napoleon Dynamite.

[@josiedelatorre7865]

omg when you mentioned said pasta and lobster cinematic universe lol, i was "what the heck with that?!" love the term you coined. hopefully you credited for that term.

[@AngelisaHassan]

Justin Bieber gets on my nerves. Why isnt he dressed up for his wife? Dude dress up in honor of her make-up product

[@neutraliserjanine]

Justin Beiber is going through years of trauma that he's trying to heal from a certain group of men. I dont even think it's fair to mention him.

[@AngelisaHassan]

​@@neutraliserjanineShe mentioned him. I did not.

[@wiardikijne5158]

Let a man wear what he wants to wear

[@TheDaughtersOfSerenityTDOS]

🙏🏽🌷 I love this TikTok trend because it's fun, positive, and shows happy couples. Seeing other black women happy and love brings me happiness as an American black woman. Peace and love be unto all these couples.

[@erstellen7888]

I'm so sorry but Amanda you look absolutely stunning in this video. I'm always enamored of your beauty but my gosh girly, you're glowing in this video.

[@Matty002]

as another person basically commented: this only works if the person is open to change. ive asked guys before how attached they were to their hair or beard length vs dating and some guys are open to some adjustments, and some are entirely closed to the idea of changing in any way for a partner

[@spotted_salamander]

The article @11:12 speaks truth that's predicated on all the unnecessary dysfunction that interferes with relationships between men and women. Removing that dysfunction would lead to both men and women feeling similarly about being in or out of a relationship. It would prevent situations where women feel happier unmarried due to breaking away from some traumatic past relationship. Factors, such as motherhood or being a mother figure to non-biological children, give women an advantage in finding contentment outside of marriage, in addition to still being able to find a man to date without marrying or living with him. This societal context contributes to women's greater happiness when being unmarried or "single" compared to men, in the type of society we live in.

[@Airwr3ck]

As a man, the bar is definitely so low lol my fiancé consistently mentions how she made me better :) I literally dressed like a child when I met her. I’m so embarrassed now but damn I was like why would she even date me. I love her so much. I’m much better man ever since I’ve been with her. I’m blessed.

[@kevinc3342]

It's obvious WM need help to become better men - they can't do it on their own. They never could...

[@kadinelindsayart]

Your delivery of of this video is sooo good, the script is SCRIPTING

[@amandamaryanna]

Thank you!

[@Ginza92]

Yes, very professional. Scripts are a weak point for me. I ether look down to read or look like I'm reading a hostage letter.

[@psychedelicpegasus7587]

I will give a lot of credit to the ladies and gents in these photos for looking great, but there are a number of context differences in the before and after photos. Before: Taken by a (probably) guy friend or is a selfie, the man is much younger (some awkward teen shots), candid shots, variable lighting, more casual situations or just hanging out. After: At a later stage in life so more mature, at formal events and in formal/smart attire or a full on professional photo session, indoor lighting, at a venue like a hotel or place with a dress code and these photos were probably the very best of the photos taken. Also, they have a person beside them who they love and appreciate and who loves and appreciates them back. That's a natural glow (up). 😊

[@Jo-un9tt]

"Whatever we touch turns into gold or at least a man with a beard that connects" Truth. I love this trend though it gives a great self-confidence boost to black women.

[@indiabrazilsaudi]

your channel is my fav & i honestly love how you speak and present topics. i would love to get a maragrita on the rox with youu and hear you go on about tiktok trends

[@amandamaryanna]

Thank you so much!!

[@indiabrazilsaudi]

@@amandamaryanna ur so awesome!! keep it up!!!!

[@aafrophonee]

I didn't realize the swirl community was so complex

[@ramonamron5194]

Not really.

[@madameblabla98]

i just have to say- i love you so much, not in a creepy way, but I deeply appreciate your brain and the poise you bring to these topics. truly inspiring, i wanna be like you when i grow up.

[@bethdixon501]

Your segmented affect of the “how” & “why” is greatly appreciated, thank you 🙏🏻❤️👑 It’s so nice to see a transition of couples who are enjoying the life together. So in conclusion you are a tremendous asset for the youtube communities coming together 🥳🙏🏻👑 We certainly are in need of more togetherness now more than ever, thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@steegen101]

*Never* been in a relationship? wait how fr you're thoughtful & stunning

[@ZSAN12]

The glow up is real, and its not a trend!!!!

[@sopuruchindubuisi2354]

your dress is so beautiful and compliments your skin, hair and background beautifully

[@keremti1]

Where is the dress from? 😊

[@jordanpohl6856]

I think this is more a function of social adaptism, where people in close continual proximity become more similar in behaviors. Most American men are not trained or educated on style, but most women have some form of routine and a better understanding of style. I think a man having a long term relationship with someone who is put together the men will osmotically pick up similar behavior over time.

[@imariventura7881]

The Black Wife effect is dope!

[@Indus85]

I found this video because someone I've gone on a few dates with (who is beautiful, and, yes, black) just asked me on our last date if I've heard about this trend, and when she showed me a tiktok, I was SO offended because I actually DO know how to dress, and have been complimented on it my whole adult life. Her response was essentially "yes, you look good, and dress well, but doesn't that make you wonder how much BETTER you could look?" Should I be offended, or charmed by the implication? I don't know. Anyway, now, what I'm even more shocked by is hearing that the stunning, talented, and funny woman who runs this channel has "never been in a relationship?" What is going on in the world?

[@roccafille]

Can't believe that you have never been in a relationship 😱. You are super pretty, smart and creative. That was a really surprising thing to learn. Loved the topic, didn't hear about it before.

[@enyamouth69]

She holding out for brad 😂

[@djlivvy46]

​​@@enyamouth69- she's actually holding out for love. Which is something your demographic might like to try.

[@kortlancharming]

It's 4 Brad 😢

[@garthyahudahandrews8504]

@@enyamouth69 definitely lol

[@tadycakes00]

​@@enyamouth69 If so, so what? Opening up her dating options is a very smart idea since wm, am and hm are more marriage minded than bm. Limiting herself to Only bm will most likely leave her another unmarried woman, single mother or both! Statistically speaking! 💯🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Drew_HBK]

I need to read that psychology today article cause AIANT NO WAY

[@sybilhaynesstudent4801]

Thats a real thing. The balance is love, appreciate and fun. I've had a white boyfriend. I laughed most of the time. Its like a new everlasting bestie, except the mother and father in laws.

[@TheUAProdigy]

Attraction seemingly stops mattering when yt men are involved. Secondarily the assertion that these women are in loving relationships is a result of the subject being yt men. They're always getting every benefit of doubt there is to give.

[@sullengirl808]

The black wife effect, has always been around, it’s the quite part every black family poked fun at to their adopted family member. The matching outfits, the glow up, the language switch, immersing in the culture, were gonna say something! We can spot a non black person who is genuinely changed or inspired by the culture, without trying to hard and still be themselves within it.

[@TheAmelioratedWoman420]

I love this trend for like-minded African American women and girls. A large majority of my friends are either married to or in relationships with othrmer groups of men. These couples are genuinely happy. I have a wedding to attend in two weeks between an African American woman and a White American man which will be in Georgia. He is a Business Analyst and she is a RN, they have been courting for 1 year and he proposed last Thanksgiving. I am so happy more like-minded African American women are going where they are loved. ❤

[@LegendsofVana]

Congratulations on your friend's wedding! 😊♥️

[@WeShareTheSameAffliction]

They all looked fine before getting with their black wives, this trend is so cringe. 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@brebri89]

🤡

[@djlivvy46]

It's interesting that the husbands do not agree, since they are the ones that are posting.

[@kortlancharming]

Weird fetish 😢

[@aMissAdventure]

Just dropped off half the wardrobe of my white husband’s closet. It’s Goodwill’s problem now. Great changes coming soon. 🎉😂

[@dominique2966]

I'm in Target rolling at your comment 😂💁🏿‍♀️

[@wiardikijne5158]

As a white guy this is like a nightmare to me lol

[@singlemamanodrama4546]

You are one of the best content creators on KZbin!

[@gremlech2846]

the tech bro uniform is intentional. they could dress nicely but the idea is to appear young, hip and confident.

[@e.terrelonge-griffithdefra9329]

Welcome to the Jungle, where the males are the ones with the pretty feathers and bold stripes, antlers etc. Human males try their hand at this effect when they want a partner after they get the partner they forget......This Black Wife effect does wonders for this momentary lapse in attention to pre dating times.. I appreciate you for doing this..

[@wgcooke1]

Not the drawstring backpack 😂

[@IndianaRose-d1g]

I like the black wife effect we do bring our the swag in others

[@ramonamron5194]

Who cares. Real people with money don't spend money on such foolishness.

[@brebri89]

@@ramonamron5194🤡

[@Angeldaisy-ji6sp]

​@@ramonamron5194you do apparently, since you commented

[@lerona1974]

I will say, theu did show this effect on black husbands as well. It was, to me, showing what a loving relationship can do

[@VantineTime]

This was excellent. You're right, it's a wholesome and healthy trend.🎉😊

[@ZoZoe2]

i love your production! this is so well thought out and entertaining

[@OldSaltyBear]

You are correct about young men not being taught how to dress up. My friends and I noticed that a few years back and decided to hold an open house at our buddy's tailor shop for young men... typically high school age... to teach them things like the differences between a sport coat and suit coat... oxford versus derby... and the occasions when each is appropriate. We teach them different tie knots, how to properly steam and press a shirt, even if you don't have an iron, how to remove various stains from a shirt or silk tie and sewing 101 for buttons & hems. When the class is over, we let the men pick out a donated suit and then my tailor friend fits it for them. I've noticed that some of the lads have started bringing their girlfriends with, and personally I think that's awesome. One way a young lady can tell her man she cares is by adding her own personal touch to his wardrobe. Thats 100% wifey imo.

[@SeeingSebastian]

It's true that our culture is strong, so we effect any environment we come in contact with. For better or for worse. However, there's give and take in every relationship. There are plenty of these lovely stories and plenty of negative ones as well. I think men's style has been a growing phenomenon over the last 30 years. Men are still learning to stand out in the style department. Women have a 10000 year head start on us 😆 Great video, with a beautiful and intelligent host 👏🏾 love the glasses

[@yukis2cool]

Great video. I think it's also important how confident you can become in a relationship. Clothing is one of the best ways to affirm a person's gender. Before you're in a relationship, you need to come off a certain way and however you want to portray yourself will be dependent on the people you're around. I think that when a white masc is in a relationship with a Black femme, the way they want to affirm their gender will change to make them feel more comfortable in the relationship, or try conveying their gender in a new way. The whole Pasta & Lobster Cinematic Universe (lol) is fascinating to see unfold. Anthropologists will be eating all this up a few decades from now.

[@Masterho310]

May just be because people are happier and getting their needs met ergo they are more likely to "glow up" and take better care of themselves and dress better because they are just happier in general

[@IdressSolomon-ec7ut]

That's what happened to Eminem. The black man effect its real. Its effects everybody especially the ones that connects with the black people. We been on

[@brebri89]

Bm effect crime and poverty

[@metalguitarist8383]

Let me just say that I commend everybody for staying mostly positive in the comments. Many people are trolling about this subject and it's sad. I understand that people have constructive criticism but the trolling is getting old. I'm an old white dude that have seen my best years behind me but I've never seen this much anger & hostility towards seemingly innocent couples. This video is enjoyable to watch with a good perspective. Great job!

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

No it's not. It's meant to demean black men. I'm a black woman and have a black son who loves black women. I have a father grandfather who are good men. The comments down black men A lot of these women have taken past and bad experiences that they inflicted upon themselves,and now categorizing all Black men as being no good while a white man is better This is bs..WHY DOES IT MATTER...IS MY POINT

[@shaina8947]

i actually love your main takeaways on this, i was literally thinking about this on the day this was posted, but the video only got recommended to me today. to summarize our mutual thoughts; black =we're raised to put lots of effort in our appearance to minimize any discrimination & to be taken seriously, which makes some people over compensate at times, but on the bright side, it makes u take more pride in yourself bc you look & feel good. white = opposite; while obviously most people regardless of race are taught to take care of themselves, the emphasis isn't as present because they don't need to compete if our society already accepts them more than others woman - society expects us to look better than our male counterparts, so we take part. & while things like fashion are stereotypically enjoyable for a lot of us, the stereotype stems from the fact that it is a common interest BUT the added pressure to conform to these assumptions makes getting ready take longer (even though that gets laughed at often in the media) & require more effort. man= opposite; they don't have to put as much effort, & if/when they do they get called feminine as an insult. so they have more freedom to be casual. putting both racial & gender aspects together, the prominence of this trend & the visual evidence of it makes a lot of sense! :) also one thing i noticed, is that sometimes the "after" version of the man sometimes seems more black-coded .. which is funny bc people hype him up, but it makes u think about different implications of why he chose to change in that way. does he think his black partner will be more attracted to guys with fades, tattoos, chains, etc.? did she imply that's her preference, despite falling in love with a white man that never previously looked like that? or did he just naturally change his style?

[@djlivvy46]

But blk people were adorning themselves long before any other people even existed on this planet. And we still care for ourselves even when no other people are going to see us. A good example of this is the black church.

[@6em974]

As the representative for thirsty dudes everywhere I’d like to say “never had a relationship” is wild.

[@crownedinvictory91]

It seems cute. I wish it included partners from all backgrounds including Black men tbh. Seems to reflect that, like you said, men get more out of being married (potentially at the expense of women..) in heterosexual relationships.

[@GloriaReed-u2j]

Nothing happens with you all, except being a run- away slave.( ie: Johnathan majors.)

[@junyaiwase]

Ima let the black women have this one, long as it’s not becoming weird against then

[@neutraliserjanine]

The husbands are the ones who took the initiative to praise their wife influence in their life. If you see less of one group of men it's because maybe those men don't care about their wife. Which actually shows on social media. They would rather talk about what's not good about those women than anything good about them.

[@Mychannels45]

You will never see blk women appreciating blk men. It's a plantation syndrome.

[@Mychannels45]

​@@neutraliserjaninekeep yourself hate to ur self😅

[@YaleStewartArt]

I guess my issue with the trend is that it soft-reinforces the low-effort culture of men. You know there are dudes out there seeing this as "You can present as a schlub and still pull a baddy, and once you do, they'll glow you up!" which is not a great takeaway. And to be very clear, effort =/= expense. You do not need a $5000 custom suit to show effort. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Just put some level of thought into how you present yourself. Odds are that your date is giving it thought. It's only polite to give it thought in kind.

[@colinneagle4495]

To me, the implications of "The Black Wife Effect" are twofold. First, that it's the job of women in general to "fix" men, in this case their appearance, but in many other ways as well. The second being the stereotype that Black people are all inherently cool and stylish. These overlapping expectations create a situation ripe for "The Black Wife Effect" to flourish. It's easy for a new narrative to take hold when it fulfills societies preconceived notions, so if society thinks women are supposed to fix their man, and Black people are experts in style and confidence, then it's easy to imagine a Black Wife fixing her husband’s appearance. To me, assuming that one group of people "should" do something for another group is where this gets problematic. Yes, being told you are fashionable and confident is a nice complement to receive! But what is a complement when told to one person quickly becomes an insult when told to an entire segment of the population. So I guess I'm just wary of this internet phenomena and the story that it tells people.

[@sherrita8582]

I think it's fun seeing the before and after..I 😘 seeing black women Hapyp ❤❤

[@loganhurley4764]

Rick Grimes is a good example of this. When Lori left TWD, and Rick grew closer to Michonne, Rick’s whole aura was upgraded from slender policeman to gruff and rugged warrior. Then again, he *was* in the middle of an apocalypse…

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

What

[@loganhurley4764]

@@WatchingEyes-g9w You had a question?

[@Iam_Celene]

It just seems like they styled their hair and fixed their wardrobe 😂

[@djlivvy46]

Oh, there's a lot more to it that. 🙂

[@kortlancharming]

​@@djlivvy46no more than that 😂

[@djlivvy46]

@@kortlancharming - I wouldn't expect you to understand, since you belong to the least married male demographic.

[@YouWontDoAnythingAboutIt]

That's really all they did. And all for the same type of men who they were rejected if they were Black. But they won't tell you that part.

[@djlivvy46]

@@YouWontDoAnythingAboutIt - these clearly aren't the same type of men, since they obviously believe in marriage and celebrating their wives.

[@chrisbailey9377]

Only to a simp. Real man isn't changing for anybody. Ladies. Find yourself a sigma Not a simp you can mold. Just saying

[@tylerd.5694]

Came here to say something along these lines

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

They want to control

[@darthbee18]

If it weren't for Amanda I wouldn't have been aware of various tiktok microtrends atm 😅😅🙈🙈

[@cseptember6562]

Weird how they would never do this for a black man or date one who looks like the before pictures of these men but when the guy is white every thing changes. Weird af lol

[@brebri89]

😭😭🤡🤡🤡🤡

[@db6881]

Hope you find a corner to throw your tantrum and cry in.

[@Angeldaisy-ji6sp]

cry harder 🤣

[@SAINTMAURICE-tl7kb]

Why do you care? Would you ever want to date or marry a bw 😂? Its a win win. Bw get the bums from the other groups of men, while the other wmn get the winners of all the races. Bet you that the bw is the breadwinner and the leader in all those relationships 😂

[@kevinc3342]

It's obvious these WM need help to become better men - they can't do it on their own. They never could...

[@Exodus26.13Pi]

Feminine and outstanding presentation. You have a sweet spirit.

[@daffke1185]

It's because they get enough love and their wife does everything for them. So they want to change how they look for them. It's good for both of them ❤

[@amroprice]

You’re legendary for this 😭

[@amirsim2479]

What a beauty Amanda is !!

[@Peekul1]

Very happily married to my Kenyan wife. 😊

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

You want a cookie

[@Xnovality]

@@WatchingEyes-g9whe’s already got some Kenyan cookie

[@WatchingEyes-g9w]

@@Xnovality 😁

[@theobazantay9457]

You are just sublime Amanda, thanks for the video :)

[@7eye7]

Wow this was good to know. This even being a thing is mad interesting. Thank you for your report on this ma'am. On my end for wearing clothes, eye dress in a manner that always ready to work, or help. My mindset is constantly on emergency mode as there can be an emergency, or the need for help in areas that require tough clothing, all around me. Being in this society on the continent with the American culture where one cannot be nude in public, my mind has focused on practicality over comfort. To such a point, that it has left a less caring attitude towards clothing and fashion in general, for myself, as all my clothing have become tools of either protection and purpose. It could be what our minds, current state of physical life, are focused on, that results in what our fashion is. Naturally this is different across all cultures on this Earth. Peace unto you and yours

[@crazwizardlizard]

I’m bisexual and aesthetically-minded, and I care about how I dress. But it’s not just because I’m queer that I dress nice to go out. It’s also because my completely heterosexual proto-metrosexual father raised me to give a shit. And when I see girls out with men where they are dressed in some kind of intentional outfit and the guy is just… wearing clothes… it makes me SO SAD.

[@jessicazhong9083]

I love how you describe trends! I was wondering what pasta and lobster had to do with dating. Was it a metaphor? Who is the lobster and who is the pasta? Nope, it's very literal😂

[@boofgedder9809]

So black wife effect is essentially "we think we need to dress a certain way, so you should as well"

[@maryconnor6173]

Can’t believe this gorgeous woman has not been in a relationship. What is going on?

[@clydu91]

A Swirler's paradise.

[@cow1959]

Nice pfp lol

[@NeverWednesday]

Late but like. My now ex NEVER put effort into what they wore. We went to a MUSICAL and they wore JEANS AND A GRAPHIC TEE. Im still miffed about it tbh. Like my parents gifted us their fancy tickets to a private bar because they couldnt go and i dressed up in this cute skirt and blouse and... that was matched with jeans and a graphic tee

[@JwinBaby]

But if we do it it’s a problem The double standards is real 🤦🏽👎🏼

[@djlivvy46]

Because the women you affect don't look anything like this. 😂😂

[@Burn143]

5:58 “Put the athleisure down, we are getting margaritas on the rocks, we are not going rock climbing”😂

[@antoniolondon5878]

Daughters of the Trade is alive n well in 2024!….#Dontgetchoppedup!!!

[@djlivvy46]

What about the fathers of those daughters?