Why everybody hates: Dean Forrester

[@blairegilmore770]

WOOO I GOT A SHOUTOUT SORT OF LOL ive been waiting for thisssss (I WAS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THIS)

[@kierralovestv]

HIIII omg I’m sorry I couldn’t remember your name or find the comment 😭😭

[@blairegilmore770]

@@kierralovestv NO WORRIES AT ALL GIRLL

[@Sophie-qg9gw]

Thank you bro I needed this.❤

[@bangie317]

Dean’s temper was terrifying and Rory was constantly walking on eggshells around him. It really bothers me how much Lorelai put him on a pedestal when she saw how anxious he made Rory. On a separate note, the writers seemed to change a lot of Dean’s character to better contrast whatever new love interest Rory had. Dean had just moved from Chicago and rode a motorcycle, but once Jess showed up, they started to play up how “wholesome” and suburban he was.

[@majeda_a]

jess also had a temper and had bad relationships with everyone that rory loved

[@ThymeofGhost]

@@majeda_a same with Logan too. Rory doesn’t have a winner they’re all possessive over her.

[@not-a-ghost2206]

I think what says it all is that rory would constantly ask jess "if he was mad", just because they had a disagreement about a guy. Jess was way more secure in a way that he didn't doubt rorys feelings as much as Dean did. She needed his approval and self esteem. They can talk about a difficult subject and then move on without judgement. With Dean it was always "I don't like jess" and he never had a good reason for why. So rory had to walk on eggshells which is a dangerous relationship to have at sixteen. This made rory nervous to break up, because how would he react? Yes relationships are work but they shouldn't be when you are young. When they are constantly effort and the other person is draining you, like it clearly was with Dean and rory, you need to shut up and support them, not pushing them towards each other all the time like lorelai and the town.

[@Roryxfilms]

@@majeda_a at least we can say that Jess matured as he got older and actually made something of himself. He got better and even tried to get along with Logan but logan was such a jerk to him.

[@hannah-19.19]

@@Roryxfilms honestly thank you!! for saying this. I have to say I really really hated Jess in the erlier seasons but later on, I thought he would have been the best choice because he had such a good redemption. The other boys might have been alright in the beginning/at some points but in my opinion never ended up being a good person.

[@kellyjohn7768]

I am so glad to hear you say that he was a jerk when Rory didn't say I love you back. He was way too clingy and controlling to me. And he jealous with everything even from the time with Tristan...

[@kierralovestv]

!!!! And there was NOTHING going on there

[@mirabedumb]

YES!!!

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

@@kierralovestv tristan was HARASSING her and dean was still like “WHAT THE HELL RORY”

[@malloryweeks3306]

@@anonymousforcommentslol6075 Rory told Tristan repeatedly that she wasn’t interested in him. She thought he was cute and that’s it. Yes they went to the same school and so of course they would be thrown together for a project, that doesn’t mean that she was interested in him. They only kissed that one time at Madelyn’s party but Rory and Dean were already broken up and she regretted doing it right after

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

@@malloryweeks3306 did you respond to the wrong comment or are you agreeing with me?

[@Theendlesstoil]

Poor Lindsey. I genuinely feel like the show tried to punish her for "being like the other girls" like she got absolutely no respect because she was like a girly teenage girl which makes me so sad!

[@myas.6485]

This is so true

[@Forceprincess]

Yes! Lindsey was done dirty!

[@seaof_stars]

they treated her like a filler character, she had 0 personality of her own other than being the woman Dean was with. not all characters need to have fully fleshed out personalities but really we barely knew her and were expected to dislike her, all that the show told us about her was her unrealistic goal of wanting a townhouse by the end of the year. that in the grand scheme of things was something that she could have been talked out of except that the show writers needed to bring her down to make Rory seem perfect because she was so "grounded" and "realistic"

[@YouTubewontletmecommeng]

Rory is girly too

[@SilenaBeauregardisahero]

Especially when you realize everyone in that town loved Rory

[@danah3462]

I agree on most points. But what bothers me in the "why we hate Dean" debate is that he is considered a stalker because he observes Rory before they meet, but Jess isn't. Imagine if Rory wasn't into Jess, him jumping on the hourse sledge without asking if it's ok, him buying the picknick basket and thereby "forcing" Rory on a date, or him watching her all day at the dance marathon...If she didn't like that guy, it would be much creepier and uncomfortable than Dean silently observing her while reading a book.

[@sarinhalps77]

yeah... honestly i think jess is overrated by the fandom. he has his flaws, too

[@majeda_a]

exactlyy people criticize dean for things jess also did but jess only gets praise. jess was toxic most of the time with rory

[@VioletEmerald]

The main difference is Jess being ridiculously crossing the line is fully acknowledged in the show when he does those things. Rory is uncomfortable and upset at first, Jess is considered a bad boy. Dean however is supposed to be treated as romantic and perfect for these behaviors he did. Even his jealousy is just love apparently.

[@jahnaviraman5411]

tbh thats how i feel ab tristan... he kinda didn't leave her alone

[@zumann874]

@@VioletEmerald exactly!

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

“he dated rory because rory likes to read, he dated linsey because she wasn’t rory” IM DEAD 💀💀💀💀

[@Esh486]

He used to like reading too. I don't think many teenage boys would read Hunter Thompson

[@Adore_Nessa]

​ not really tbh when rory went and buy books a time he looked really annoyed

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

@@Adore_Nessa i was just quoting the vid lmao but yea i feel like he wanted a “smart girlfriend” until it didn’t benefit him

[@the_blackpotatoe1268]

I like that slow progression the writers did with Dean. He started off sweet then slowly the audience started to see red flags and Rory lowkey ignored them. Their relationship is the perfect example of someone falling in love too fast, it’s so high school. Now Jess, I love him. I have dated a “Jess” trope before and honestly dudes like him are great. He got Rory to step out of her comfort zone, encouraged her dreams and when she made decisions he felt were beneath her he was honest with her. Rory actually loved Jess and he loved her too, cause after that car accident he made sure she was okay even though he knew everyone would blame him.

[@the_blackpotatoe1268]

Also I am not encouraging Rory cheating on Dean with Jess. She should’ve broken up with him first then pursued Jess but I get it was for the plot and her character development.

[@kierralovestv]

I agree with every word of this

[@milanarnold4978]

you worded this so perfectly, i feel like he struggled a lot with communication which did make things hard but he’s everything you said

[@dee9340]

@@the_blackpotatoe1268 And Jess actually broke up with Shane first before insinuating anything with Rory.

[@salem-01]

I just couldn’t stand Jess after he got mad at her for not wanting to sleep with him. It nearly made me scream.

[@brittanybrooks8708]

Unpopular opinion: I actually liked Dean as a boyfriend better than Jess. Yeah he wasn’t perfect, but overall he was a WAY better boyfriend to Rory. Rory put him through it and literally cheated on him when she kissed Jess, and he didn’t deserve that. He made an effort with her mom and family, showed up when Rory needed him, and respected her more. Jess made Rory always question where she stood with him, rarely communicated well with her, and just left without telling her. Worst of all, he blew up at her when she wouldn’t sleep with him at the party. Then he leaves and doesn’t tell her?! He didn’t respect Rory at all. This is just my thoughts on the first three seasons - don’t get me started on the Rory/Dean affair storyline. And I won’t get started about Logan either ugh 🙄

[@Grace-pk5hl]

This!!!

[@shelleineym]

I agree!! Dean honestly had every right to get upset with Rory at certain times. Like he wasn’t “doing too much,” as he was Rory’s boyfriend. I think he was just scared of losing her, which did happen so idk why everyone judges his actions sm🥲

[@whitwat]

Agreed!

[@Drm3221]

Oh hey but he had that whole one scene asking her why she dropped out of Yale. After all that offscreen character development. What a well-written character that Jess is LMAO

[@irismusicmind]

100% agreed

[@jramnani7]

I think the Donna reed episode was to foreshadow the way in which Rory would morph to whoever she is dating and to show that dean is a traditional guy. Rory is essentially a people pleaser. Most of her goals were shaped by her moms hopes for her. And her feminism kind of goes out the window when it comes to guys. Rory goes back and forth from being the sarcastic cool girl and the more traditional home town girl who participates in every town function. A life with dean would mean committing fully to that hometown girl persona, while Jess was a license to be more free and adventurous. Logan ends up being somewhere in the middle but she ends up getting lost while she’s with him because she doesn’t really know what she wants and decided to become “queen of the sloths” because she thinks that’s what he wants. A girl who doesn’t work and makes herself an accessory in his life, which was a direct result of his family’s disapproval of her. She was so principled and opinionated on Donna reed and then did a 180, partially because she did some research but also because she wanted to be what Dean wanted. And then Dean gets exactly that with Lindsey and he resents her for not working and wanting a better lifestyle on his dime. But breaks up with Rory because he doesn’t fit into her life at Yale. So no matter what Rory does it isn’t going to please him because he’s insecure and lost and turns out so is she.

[@kyndramb7050]

YES! I completely agree. That's part of what I appreciate about the sequel... after school she was somewhat aimless... which a people pleaser who was told her whole life that getting into college is the most important thing would be afterwards.

[@jramnani7]

A big part of this is Christopher. Rory is scared of abandonment. Rory’s default is to act nonchalant about Christopher’s lack of presence in her life. Subconsciously she’s trying to be the perfect child in hopes it will make it easier for Chris to be her father and stay. You can see this in the way she blames Lorelei for her not being with Chris - as if it’s Lorelei’s fault for not doing whatever it takes to be with Chris and holding his ground and holding him to an expectation. Rory really thinks that her fathers lack of presence, along with her grandparents is a reflection of her mothers flaws, when in reality it’s because of her strong sense of self and BOUNDARIES.

[@kristinak6092]

I think her turning into Donna Reed was a way to say "is THIS what you want, Dean" kind of point...but then ended up fining her an interesting person IRL.

[@jramnani7]

@@kristinak6092 I agree but I think there is something to the ironic mocking that her and Lorelei participate in. They kind of look down on anything ultra feminine or ditsy like when Lane becomes a cheerleader. And you can tell that when she comes out and Lorelei sees her there’s no irony in the outfit and jello, because she’s embarrassed to be seen that way in front of her mom. I think Rory doesn’t really know what she likes because she’s so used to adopting Loreleis perspective on things. Dean calls her out on it in the fight they have about it earlier in the episode. And Lorelei does mock her for it so maybe it is closer to who she really is but she’s not allowed to even consider it.

[@kristinak6092]

@@jramnani7 lol....I think she was embarrassed bc of trying to explain why she was wearing the outfit in 20 seconds would be tough. I agree w the mocking of ultra fem stuff even though they are very feminine (ie, the constant references to sephora and their home is one standard deviation away from looking like a barbie dream house).

[@impossible.lemons6315]

I think one of my biggest problems with Dean too was that he acted like everything Rory asked of him was a huge deal and like she owed him for wanting to spend time with him. Like with the dance or the debutante ball, he needed to be like bribed into going and made a huge deal out of having to dress up. I would think if you’re in a relationship with someone, you’d do things like that without whining because you care about the other person.

[@jbei9981]

Right!! And Jess did the same thing too. I hated when he refused to go to the winter carnival with her and only ended up sticking around once he saw that Dean was there

[@impossible.lemons6315]

@@jbei9981 Exactly!! I don't think any of Rory's boyfriends were any good, to be honest... except maybe Paul who she was horrible to lol

[@BumperSoda]

Right!!!! Honestly i felt this exact way the entire time but i just brushed it off because i didn’t think anyone else felt the same way about it as i did and because lorelai would hype him up so much to rory saying she got so lucky with him that it kinda morphed my brain to believe her.

[@Sophie-vw5ol]

Yep, always had such boyfriends. Difficult when you don't have the important stuff in common and always have to drag your partners to things you like.

[@Sophie-vw5ol]

@@BumperSoda To be honest one have to see it at both hands. Every person has bad and good traits. I mean Dean built Rory a car, that's pretty awesome especially for the first boyfriend I guess. Anyway it's difficult if the own mother evaluates so much but that's just lorelai. Later with Logan she didn't do that, she especially says she don't want to influence Rorys decision to marry him. I know just because she was older..

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

he liked controlling rory honestly and he liked the idea he had of her. he liked having this perfect pretty girl that reads. not who she is.

[@positivepessimist91]

Something I absolutely cannot stand about Dean is that every time he and Rory broke up, it was his doing. Yet, anytime it’s brought up, he says, “She broke up with me.” It’s a small thing, but it just adds to the way he manipulates situations so that he’s in the “right.”

[@hannah-19.19]

omg i didn't realise that but it makss me so mad now

[@wendydotson8891]

This is the same thing I said, the only time he was really on the right side was when he broke up with her at the dance. But he’s still the one who actually did it. And the first and last time were all because of his own insecurities. So the fact that he blames her has always bugged me. It’s like when pacey whines about never being someone’s “Dawson” and completely forgets that he’s Andy’s “Dawson”.

[@eiffelviolet]

I'm upset that he broke up with her THREE times. Two of the times were in public in front of a bunch of people.

[@zellanutellaa]

@@eiffelvioletthe last time he broke up w it’s her was justified. She cheated on him and he finally figured out she liked Jess and was dragging him along

[@aleksandrag.1620]

Lindsay didn’t deserve the way he treated her, i felt so bad for her, she was trying so hard to be a good wife 😢

[@marchels7]

I personally interpreted the Donna Reed episode as Rory sarcastically dressing up and acting up for Dean, to make him uncomfortable so he would realize how deeply wrong his housewife ideals were.

[@VioletEmerald]

Rewatch it though. It's not that. What makes you think it's that? She's so genuine, feels so bad she hurt his feelings and goes all out for him with it

[@hailey1273]

This was my interpretation too. Like, this is what you want me to be? Fine, here you go. But also kind of making light of an argument they were having. Maybe I misread tho. Either way I don’t like dean.

[@sarahjoy1279]

@@VioletEmerald idk i rewatched the episode after not having seen it in like 6 years, but to me it just felt like she was really committing to the bit to show the ludicrousness of dean’s fantasy

[@swmrgirl9979]

@@sarahjoy1279 I think that was her original intent but then, in her research, had a change of heart.

[@danieller.2067]

I don't think she was being sarcastic. Nothing in the episode leads us to think that she was. If that was the intention, they needed to make that clearer, because it seemed to me that her intention was really to please him, she got very upset when she thought she had made a mistake over dinner. But there's nothing wrong with Dean wanting a housewife since he never asked Rory to be like that and he tells her so.

[@dreaminbiblio]

I understood Lorelai's fondness for Dean as the result of Dean being Luke's foil. What I mean by that is, Dean, like Luke (who Lorelai later dates), embodies a sense of small town stability. The guy that one can count on to take care of you, be there and take care of your family. I think Lorelai so desperately wants that for Rory because she never had that for herself. Her overstepping boundaries in her daughter's relationship by talking about Rory with Dean, I think, is a product of that desperation and her wanting to architect her daughter's life to be void of her own childhood mistakes. We see her do this a lot over the course of the series. Rory, however, is in a completely different position than Lorelai was at 16. Her career goals are literally pulling her in a different direction, so it makes sense that things don't pan out for her and the "younger Luke."

[@aylin2341]

girl no because dean swore everyone in the world was plotting against him. he was so passive aggressive for no reason. if your girlfriend has to lie because she knows you’re going to have an outburst… also don’t even get me started about him lying about reading that damn paper she wrote and was really passionate about 😂 i loved this video ❤

[@kierralovestv]

Thank you for watching ☺️

[@user-es5wl8ho8r]

people always compare jess dean and logan as if the real villain wasn’t RORY💀.

[@marycapossela2090]

I feel like, at least in the beginning, Dean and Rory's relationship was a sweet first boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. Sure their lives were headed different directions, but I think when you're sixteen, having a shared decency, values, and care for each other is enough to make a relationship work. Its more once they get older it got a lot more iffy, in my opinion.

[@BreezusSneezus]

I feel like they retconned a lot of Dean's personality in preparation for Jess' arrival bc they wanted us to root for Jess. Also, don't discourage that engagement girl! Ride those hate comments all the way to the top of the algorithm! 😋

[@kierralovestv]

😭💕 you made me laugh thank you

[@kyndramb7050]

They made him too perfect in the beginning. No first boyfriend is that perfect. But they can be jealous and direct their frustrations towards the wrong things, and be little assholes, like he turned out to be.

[@neeliknowsnothing]

To me he was only the perfect boyfriend for the first couple of episodes of S1. Around halfway through, he became the character we know from S2 onwards, just with a leather jacket.

[@bookworm598]

Agreed!! I liked him at the beginning so much. He was sweet and caring, and as someone who was very shy like Rory, the way he was with her as her first boyfriend was very appealing. But they really did him dirty. I feel like they kept adding bad qualities to his character because the writers wanted him to look horrible compared to Jess (who also had his faults as much as I love him)

[@chelsearegister6202]

@overthemoonwithme I agree he was only good for the first few episodes. we already started to see his anger issues when Rory takes him to the dance at Chilton. He was always getting angry about Tristan before Jess ever showed up.

[@Bine839]

Dean is SO toxic, super aggressive and controlling. I hate that the Lorelai always says he’s the perfect boyfriend and maces excuses for his behaviour cause his behaviour is just so wrong! When I was young and first watched this show I thought this was what romance is supposed to be since I loved lorelai and when she says something is amazing, it is.

[@augustharper15]

I honestly feel like Lorelai is the biggest reason for Rory being in denial about her feeling for Jess and continuing to lead Dean on. She couldn’t be honest with herself (while being a young, impressionable 16y/o !!! ) because her mom would constantly take Dean’s side and remind Rory how lucky she should be. Plus, how much Lorelai couldn’t stand Jess and made him out to be an awful person though he was actually the better boyfriend, he just had communication issues. But seriously, Rory looks up to her mom and she’s like one of her best friends, so I feel like her mom got in her head a lot and Rory didn’t want to disappoint her and also hurt Dean. It’s a shame.

[@lila.sorelli]

@@augustharper15 I agree with this SO MUCH. I loved Lorelai but whenever it came to Dean she was so infuriating it drove me nuts. Poor Rory had many reasons to be upset with Dean and wanted to rant, and she just wouldn't let her those times ;-;

[@Starbits7]

Dean's controlling and it's to the point where it even made me feel like he was an abuser in the making - that scene in the kitchen when he finds Rory, Jess, & Paris having dinner... it made me worried for Rory then and later, Lindsey. So my concern was more for Lindsey. She seemed to shrink around him. When he blew up at her for answering his phone, I half expected him to hit her. It made me really uncomfortable. Re: Lindsey not working.... I feel like she was really committed to being a good wife. She was really trying and she was happy at the start. Maybe she didn't have the grades (or money) to get to college, many of her friends probably went off to school, she didn't have a job so the marriage was her central focus, which makes sense. But Dean's behaviour was shameful. Controlling, easy to anger... possessive. He was acting like an abuser so I wouldn't have been surprised if that had become a plot. If they wanted Lindsey to work then she would have worked. Dean clearly was in control (not in a good way) and he could have made her get a job... but instead he wanted her to be a housewife and form him to be the bread winner. It's like he wanted to be able to say he was doing everything but his wife was doing nothing & wasn't even good at being stereotypical house wife or something . It just feels like he set her up for failure...

[@herhomemakingheart]

His attitude in the episode where Lindsey found his phone was so textbook typical cheater/abusive husband. I hated how he treated her. I was glad that Lindsey left him for that. People always justify Dean, and seem to blame Rory but they both acted disgustingly in that affair. I'm shocked that they took that turn for Rory's character, when she started off as the goodie two shoes, but she literally just became morally worse as the seasons went on lol

[@socialdgirl011]

Ugh I totally agree with that scene. I watched it and was like wasn't he supposed to be a sweet boy like how did he flip all of a sudden like that, forgetting the car love scene. Years later I got into a relationship that ended up like that constantly and was like holy crap that's just emotional abuse ugh. Everytime I see it now it still makes me jump a bit.

[@ClarissaMcLaughlin]

Dean totally did wrong by Lindsey, but also she was wanting him to work a bunch of extra hours in a physically demanding job while she stayed home and did nothing all day just because she wanted a bigger house. Like she and her mom made picnics for him but with no kids she really didn’t have anything to do all day.

[@kierralovestv]

To my understanding that’s what Dean wanted with the Donna Reed thing though. He wanted a girl who cares for him

[@ClarissaMcLaughlin]

@@kierralovestv To an extent sure, he wanted a stay home wife and she wanted to be one. And that’s fine they both wanted that. My point was more that she wanted him to work EXTRA hours of an already demanding job just because she wanted a bigger house. If she wanted the house so bad she could’ve found a way to bring in extra cash. Marriage is a partnership but she expected him to take all the weight for something she wanted.

[@kierralovestv]

@@ClarissaMcLaughlin yes, correct I agree with you on that thanks for expanding on that

[@kierralovestv]

@@kylerees3491 I thought he was just saying that to make Rory happy, it’s so funny how many ways something can be interpreted

[@vvieites001]

@@ClarissaMcLaughlin I wouldn’t say she wasn’t doing anything. She drove herself nuts trying to make him the perfect pot roast 😂

[@solanawinter5291]

I really do think that a lot of rory's relationship issues stem from everyone else's perception of her and dean. like her mom was always like you hit gold with that kid he's so perfect and you two are so good together and blah blah blah. idk I just don't think she had healthy ideas about relationships or boundaries after she left stars hollow

[@occonnoo]

I always took the donna reed episode like rory just exploring and challenging her ideals. obviously she held a firm stance on it, but when you’re 16, you try new stuff, and when someone you love presents you with a different/new opinion, sometimes you question the beliefs you’ve held and known. she returned to them in the end, but i don’t necessarily knock her for feeling something out, and now she knows where she stands for sure. just a part of solidifying your identity when you’re young, but maybe not everyone experienced it in that way!

[@amy9215]

this!!

[@eej1983able]

He got so possessive and had a scary temper. 😨 yikes calling Rory 14 times, not letting her be on her own for a night etc

[@ofsupernaturalbonds]

I just wanted to say even as someone who likes Dean as a character that I can see a lot of your points and think your opinions are really interesting. I enjoy watching all of your content and look forward to more of your videos

[@kierralovestv]

Tysm, you too

[@beccabex321]

tbh, the more times I've seen Gilmore Girls, the more uncomfortable I become with Dean's character. it took me a little while to figure out why, because obviously all of Rory's love interests have flaws, but I eventually realized that it was because it did not feel (to me) that the show really called out Dean's problematic behavior in the first 2 seasons (obviously by season 4 it does) and there were just a lot of small moments that I felt uncomfortable with, but that the show (and often Lorelai) seemed to endorse or be fine with. I think Jess & Logan were both acknowledged by the show & by the other characters to be flawed pretty much as soon as they were introduced, but the same wasn't true with Dean, so I often felt myself getting frustrated with the show itself when it came to him. also, his anger kind of freaked me out at times, ngl.

[@kierralovestv]

I agree his anger worried me too. Like in the kitchen scene I didn’t really know where that was gonna go.

[@kierralovestv]

And I think Lorelai had a limited perspective on Dean I never heard Rory tell her exactly how he talked to her moreso “he was mad” not “he screamed at me”. I’m gonna mention that more in my videos and explain why I don’t blame Lorelai for how she saw Dean

[@queenofgoldenhearts]

3 things i need to say 1. he never respect rory’s timing! from saying i love you to answer a call he was so controlling and everything had to be the way he wanted and planned! 2. he failed miserably on giving her the space she needed and deserved! the episode when she finally has a night alone she has to promise him she would be with him for the entire next day to compensate! AND HE STILL SHOWS UP! 3. he was paranoid that rory wasn’t answering him because he thought she was cheating on him and then later on he puts lindsay down for doing the same when HE WAS CHEATING! it’s says more about him than anyone else! bro… no, just no! that’s gross, man, stop it!

[@hollytree3379]

Ok but one thing -- being paranoid that Rory was cheating him was accurate. He gaslight Lindsay. And Rory gaslight him at the time. Rory had feelings for Jess and would downplay it and downplay Dean's suspicion over him with the her "aw can't we just all get along" thing. That's not right.

[@queenofgoldenhearts]

@@hollytree3379 never said she was right but it’s not an excuse for him to act the way he did yk? he never even had the patience to have a real talk to her and ask her if she wanted to break up without making her feel like she was a terrible person who was hurting him! she chose to lie and hide her feelings from herself just to be a good girlfriend and stay with him (did a terrible job, ended up kissing jess and gaslighting dean) instead of speaking up clearly since she knew how he would react! they were terrible for each other…

[@jahnaviraman5411]

EXACTLY. i'm so glad some people agree with me 💀 i've seen way too many people defend dean

[@alyzu4755]

The episode where Rory is supposed to have the house to herself for a night and NO ONE let's her is one that stands out for me. Yes, Rory lied to Dean, but that was because he came over after she'd asked him not to, while, at the same time, Jess brought over a bunch of food she didn't order (and told her Luke had sent it when he hadn't), and then Paris showed up. I felt for Rory in that episode. And I was very angry at the other three. But especially Dean, because he NEVER trusted her. Not just around Jess, but also Tristan. Also, that last scene with Dean and Luke didn't make any sense because Lorelei had JUST BOUGHT AND OPENED AN INN!!!!!!

[@LiveURlifee8D]

This episode stands out for me as well, it actually made me cry. Would like to clarify I was not in an abusive relationship but I was definitely in a toxic one and his behavior reminded me so much of that, so his character as a whole triggered me a bit and made me very emotional at times.

[@jahnaviraman5411]

exactly. and his outburst is just proof that he's terrible at communicating and can't hear her out without exploding

[@vicky8752]

yess and in the episode where Rory had to make act 5 of Romeo and Juliet and dean had to come and watch the rehearsal because Tristan was there like bruh he doesn't trust her or anything

[@danieller.2067]

Dean being upset with Rory that night made sense to me, although I agree that he overreacted. But look: yes, she had said that she wanted a night alone, and he just went there to bring food and said he would leave her alone as soon as they finished eating (it's not like he said that she was obliged to spend the whole night with him). It seems like a normal couple thing to me, he wanted to surprise her. But then he gets there and Jess is there. Jess, who hit on Rory even though he knew she was already in a relationship.

[@Ultimate32126]

Lol Rory literally emotionally cheated on dean but gets a pass lol. "I dont understand why dean is so mad at rory." Give me a break if a girl treated me like that anyone who have acted like dean. Haters just love to hate.

[@camech9589]

I feel Dean’s character changed a lot once Jess was introduced. Dean was also smart and interesting and gave good masculine vibes, but suddenly he became uninteresting and toxic. I don’t know if that was intentional from the beginning or done only to move the plot in the direction they wanted, either way, he didn’t feel like the Dean that was introduced at the beginning. Also, he did overreact when Rory didn’t say I Love You back, but I get why he got upset, I mean, they were both teenagers, teenagers aren’t the best at emotional maturity. Insecurities and fear of rejection are very strong at that age.

[@kimberlyidol]

tbh we know that both Rory and Dean had their faults (some more serious than others) in their relationship, but I think the true culprit of its downfall was that neither of them saw the other as their own person. they and a lot of us were taught that it’s more important to HAVE a SO to “show” that you’re desirable/loveable than it is to actually be happy with yourself/in your relationships. I think this explains why Rory drags out breaking up with him for so long even though it’s clear she’s not into him anymore-he’s become part of the perfect girl standard she’s always held to (good/perfect girls don’t date around, they’re ~supposed~ to have an equally unopinionated long term boyfriend to show how “mature” and “refined” they are compared to other hormonal crazy teenagers). I don’t think they made sense together to begin with either, but without all the pressure from hetero standards and the other ppl in their life, this should have just been a scenario where two 16 year olds kinda thought the other was cute and they maybe go on a few dates or date for a while in high school before going their separate ways when they realize they don’t want the same things in life (particularly college). Instead they get praised instantly and constantly for being the “wholesome young couple” that everyone loves and both of them believe they’re worthless without the other ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@jahnaviraman5411]

yup, that's why all the grown adults in stars hollow were so obsessed with them

[@user-pg8dh6vh1l]

I personally loved lorelai in earlier seasons, but just like every human being, she made mistakes. I think the biggest one being her denial of jess. She continuously gave her personal opinion that dean was a better boyfriend, and especially the idea he was "safe". He was a "perfect first boyfriend" and was pretty suburban despite the fact she didnt like him at first. I think jess scared lorelai because in her eyes he was going to lead rory on a bad path etc. and she didnt even want to see him beneath surface level. I wish she would've encouraged rory to break up with dean if she wasnt happy in the relationship and to try different things. Maybe she'd find that the instability of jess didn't work for her but at least she couldve learned more about what she does want in a partner in a less toxic way. Lorelai also didn't see or understand everything between dean and rory, so she believed jess was going nowhere and was essentially stupid while dean could at least keep rory on a kind of straight path. In truth, dean often cut rory's dreams down whereas jess encouraged her to chase them and really inspired her. I just think lorelai's intense negative and positive limited view on the two of them made it worse for rory to really accept that she had moved on and that it was okay to try different things.

[@woodlandpricess]

I don't particularly like Dean, I think he was needy and possessive towards Rory. HOWEVER, I hate that people treat Jess and Rory like they're the sweetest, healthiest relationship when he was literally just and aggressive, bratty, side bitch. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERD: DID YOU GUYS FORGET THE EPISODE IN WHICH JESS TRIES PRESSURING RORY INTO FUCKINGGGG AT A PARTY???? AND GETS MAD AT HER WHEN SHE TELLS HIM TO STOP 3 TIMES??? WHATTTTT????

[@zumann874]

Nobody thinks they were the healthiest relationship at all. none of the relationships in gilmore girls is healthy tbh, maybe except lane and dave. people prefer rory and jess because of their amazing chemistry, undeniable compatibility and ability to help each other grow into better people. none of which rory & dean nor rory & logan have to the fullest extent. people find them sweet cuz it was that passionate, innocent love. but, i'm pretty none of the rory/jess shippers think it is a completely healthy relationship or anything, both of them were too immature to work better on their relationship at 17.

[@woodlandpricess]

@@zumann874 oh believe me, a lot of people think of the like that, just go into any comment section of any Rory x Jess post or video, and you'll see a bunch of people praising them for being such a perfect couple, when they're both insufrible and pretty toxic.

[@zumann874]

@@woodlandpricess appreciating them looking & acting cute together is different from thinking it's a healthy relationship. i totally ship them, they're my otp, but i very well am aware of the fact that they're not a totally healthy relationship. also, none of the pairing in the show was as insufferable and toxic as rory/dean lol

[@ellebelle1555]

THANK you. I literally hate Jess just as much if not more than Dean

[@sheilawebb9746]

& the time Rory was pleading with Jess to be nice to her mom if he cared at all about her, & his reply was, "what makes you think i care about you?" He was a jerk thru & thru at least as far as I've watched, & seemed to only go for Rory so he could piss off Dean.

[@apekshan]

Dean came off a little insecure which translated to anger and jealousy every time rory was around any other boy. It got really suffocating in the end, and he seemed to forget that he actually liked rory in the pursuit of getting mad at her for interacting with other males of the human race. He never got over her, and tbh she was a part of the reason as to why. They were initially really cute, but somehow their relationship got quite toxic in the end (when jess appeared).

[@NadaAlawadhi]

Dean was so needy and demanding he was not understanding at all. But at the same time, they were both kids and they all needed to grow. Like these experiences are what teaches us how to have boundaries and not let yourself accept this kind of person.

[@patriciaramirez2982]

I think a lot of people have this thing about liking the "bad boy that will be made better by the mc" so as soon as jess was introduced, dean the seemingly "good guy" became an obstacle for Rory and jess, and im not even mentioning that the writers wrote out any compatibility dean and Rory had, its sorta how in tvd as soon as Damon was introduced as a feasible romantic option for Elena suddenly Stefan wasn't good for her

[@rebeopina]

I agree with you but I love Damon so I can't be objective hahaha In Elena's case I think she needed Stefan after her parents died, she needed a safe and stable guy, but then she grew up and needed a different thing. Don't get me wrong, I love Stefan haha but it made more sense to me

[@niclaci6093]

Totally agree! I want to add something that I felt It's not stressed enough: he left her in public twice! He's uncapable to have a decent and respectful conversation with his partner without trying to hurt or humiliate her when things go rough.

[@Munchie1011]

In the episode where Paris, Rory and Jess were all eating when dean started yelling at Rory u can truly see the fear in her eyes. Even when she started to tell him not to yell he just started getting louder. That was the scene that made me really angry with him.

[@jahnaviraman5411]

that scene and also the scene where rory told him ab the car accident. he was more mad ab her hanging out with jess than her literally getting into a car accident. and the way he started kicking his bags 💀💀

[@wendydotson8891]

I don’t hate dean I just think he was very immature. I didn’t like his reaction to the I love you, but many teenagers would unfortunately react the same way. And his insecurities about Jess were valid, but he should have just broken up with her sooner, but again he was a kid, who was hurt and struggling to hold on. Then him getting married when he was obviously in love with Rory was crappy and cheating on his wife. Then he blames the fallout on Rory. And while Rory shouldn’t have been with him while he was married, he was the one who cheated, she wasn’t the married one. The thing that bothered me the most about dean was when he told Luke that they’ll always leave them because dean is actually the one who broke up with Rory every time. Maybe he was justified the second time but he still the one did it. He was to insecure, I feel dean had a lot of growing up to. In the revival he seemed like maybe he had finally grown up and become at peace with himself. I think each of Rory’s guys were good and bad. If she was to end up with one I feel the one best fit for Rory is Jess, I think Jess was a crappy boyfriend as a teenager but he grew a lot and he was the one who fit best as an adult. He is the one who challenged her intellectly the best. Logan challenged her also but I feel he should have been a college thing and left at that. I feel that he was so prominent in the revival because his portrayer was the one who had the most time to give as an actor. Jared was doing supernatural and milo was doing this is us but Matt was between shows at the time. And he was also convenient as a parallel to Lorali’s situation with Christopher. Basically having history repeating its self only later (I’m a believer that the baby is Logan’s)

[@kirstenrhodes6713]

I think the frustrating thing about Dean is the narrative framing of him. He is usually never framed as in the wrong, he is consistently framed as the perfect boyfriend, and his mistakes aren't acknowledged by most in the narrative. It can be so frustrating to watch a character make questionable choices and then never have to deal with the consequences.

[@urrockstargf111]

i personally loved dean however I do understand where u came from i rlly disliked dean in the later seasons but my love for him returned in the revival i could tell that he had moved on and matured also i have to admit it is frustrating that everyone mostly just hates on dean and not other characters who made mistakes too.

[@Lililililili333]

I feel like ppl who hate him, don’t remember how being 16 was like 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@urrockstargf111]

@@Lililililili333 exactly thank u.

[@GirlDo3]

​@@Lililililili333 And they don't empathize with how he must have felt watching Rory fall in love with Jess. Cuz upon rewatching he only got clingy and needy when he noticed her falling for Jess. Lorelai also noticed this that's why she kept going on about how good he was.

[@tat._7384]

So, about the Dona Read)? -however its spelled- episode, I did something similar when I was 16. It wasnt with my boyfriend, but my all guy group of friends, I was starting my never ending raging feminist era, we got into endless debates and then for two days I became this very femenine, submissive, fulsome, uncapable of doing anything by myself person. And it was to prove a point, to prove they didn´t actually like the ideals they were defending. And just me being dramatic, cause I´m a leo. I always watched that episode as Rory doing the same, and at the end, Dean kinda tells her something like "I like _you_, not this Dona persona", or maybe my memory is failing me. idk

[@kierralovestv]

Ty for sharing it’s making this alot more clear

[@OfficialSTJones]

Ahaha 😂the Oliver Twist moment, exactly! I love your commentary! You got all these points about Dean perfectly! And yes, going to Lorelai about Rory after calling her 15 times! The anger and jealousy of Dean are the biggest thing and the cheating on Lindsey.

[@xoasesina3128]

I'm sorry but him breaking up with Rory after she wasn't ready to say 'I love you' was the first of MANY red flags. Rory is no angel either but Dean gives me the biggest ICK ever jealous and scary temper

[@losttimewoods]

i started watching gilmore girls pretty soon after getting out of a "highschool sweethearts" relationship that turned out very emotionally abusive. seeing dean was like looking at that ex straight in the face. all those red flags rory ignored in him were red flags i ignored in my ex (short temper, possessive, etc). I may very well be reading too much into a 2000s show but i think he was a reference to much darker things. I feel like the Donna Reed episode was meant to allude to this - rory was already shoving down her career desires for him bc she felt like she had to (to be a "good girlfriend"). It shows that especially as a 16 year old kid, she is easily manipulated, and knowingly or not, guys like dean play into it.

[@milkisreallygood8957]

I feel like he's the perfect first boyfriend. He is the definition of first love. He isn't perfect but isn't bad. He has his flaws, yes, and wasn't the best boyfriend but he was Rory's first love, her first boyfriend.

[@teagan1636]

I agree but at the same time I maintain that a man shouldn’t raise his voice at his woman, at least at the rate he did. I feel like that could’ve normalized angry boyfriends to young girls if that makes sense

[@teagan1636]

I do think they were trying to portray a first relationship , and boy do I relate 😅

[@stephaniesarria87]

I was recently watching the episode where Rory loses the bracelet that Dean made for her, and it bothered me so much. Instead of feeling sad that she lost the bracelet, because it’s of sentimental value, she instead goes nuts running around the entire town looking for it because she was scared that he was going to get mad at her. Which I can totally see! He would constantly yell at her. Like the time he yelled at her at chilton in front of all of the students, because Tristan was holding her books. Instead of asking her, or speaking about it (I mean they were broken up), he embarrasses her and forms a scene in front of everybody. The only way to shut him up was to tell him I love you. All of it was so toxic.

[@realariesqueen]

My first issue was the first break up with Dean and how he blew up when Rory wasn't ready to tell him she loves him. Of course, it was understandable because they are both young at the time. But she even explained during the moment that she was confused because of how she saw her parents' relationship. They could have had a calm conversation about it and he could have not lost his temper and I would have respected him a lot more. Did he even apologize to her about how he treated her in this moment? It seemed like all that blame was on Rory when she was just a kid and love was a very big thing for her to process on the spot. I mean, its a big feeling for even a lot of adults to process. I am also going to put a small number of blame on Rory because she should have told the true story about the break up at least to her mom and she could have helped her through that or (although mental health wasn't a thing talked about at the time) she could have gotten Rory some therapy to talk to an adult who could help her process things. Honestly, that whole family needed a therapist.

[@DeepikaGinger]

While it was still very wrong of Rory to sleep with Dean while he was still married, Dean strongly conveyed the impression that he and Lindsey were on the same page concerning their marriage, and that they both felt that it was over. We find out later that what he said was completely false, and Lindsey was still trying to make their marriage work. It looked like he just wanted his marriage to be over, and, when Rory asked questions and tried offering suggestions, he just wanted her to believe that it was, so he could be with her. And, I wonder if she started a relationship with him after all that because he made her feel guilty for going to Europe and putting some distance between herself and the situation. He never seems to feel any guilt for misleading Rory in the first place.

[@angela86753]

Dean was a passive aggressive baby. He went a little nutty

[@filmguru8116]

I got almost every point you made but IN MY OPINION his relationship with lorelai was not weird it’s like a aunt-niece/nephew (not a native speaker here dunno why you guys gender every word 🤷‍♀️) like he needed advise from someone who knows Rory and he was really impressed by lorelai as a adult so he chose to speak with her instead of Lane or Paris

[@katemccrea6963]

There's a couple of things that bugged me about Dean. Like you said, at first, he was smart, could keep up, was reading books she suggested and they were talking about them, etc. But like midway through the first season, they started dumbing him down. They made him insanely jealous and possessive, needy and controlling. Remember when they first broke up and Lorelei said he called like 25 times a day? I get young love can be like that but lets not forget, this was Rory's first relationship and he'd been in at least one before. It also always felt like they were almost playing house from the first moment. The fact that Dean dumped Rory for not being able to say I love you, despite knowing her reasons why and her relationship with her dad, and she even explained this to him, bugged me. They always kind of played Dean as the older, more mature one, though they were the same age. Dean is that good guy that everyone loves based on easy charm and being part of the town, but is extremely tempermental and we see that throughout their relationship and his with Lindsay as well. I definitely agree with him being a Ross Gellar type because everyones moods kind of revolved around his bc they had to walk on eggshells around him, especially once Jess came in the picture.

[@claricesilva2700]

The reason why everybody hates Dean is because of Rory, but people are not ready for that conversation yet.

[@noemimiya7110]

I think people misinterpret lorelai and dean’s relationship. I don’t think she ever wanted to ‘get with him’ (that would also be extremely weird. But I think she was living vicariously through Rory, she wanted her daughter to have the experience she never had and because her relationship with Christopher turned out badly she tries to make sure Rory and dean stay together. I think it goes for a lot of other things too, lorelai wanted Rory to live her big dreams.

[@lucasr3548]

Dean was already not great in season 1 (breaking up with Rory bc she didn't say she loved him???) but they really took all his flaws and exaggerated them even more to make him completely unlikable once Jess arrived. It's a shame cause he could have been a great character. imo, he didn't need to be Rory to be important to the show and i think that his downfall was that he was being written as a boyfriend instead of a character.

[@VioletEmerald]

That reminds me of the other thing that made Jess/Rory way more shippable - Jess was joys own character and not just a boyfriend. He was Luke's nephew and he had a lot of scenes that really weren't about Rory. He had a dynamic with his mom and stuff too. It's a lot easier to ship a pairing where you can sympathize with him more because you know more of his entire life story and point of view even unrelated to Rory. Dean really was just a boyfriend.

[@Undercoverslug]

There was a video that I saw recently that really put deans character into perspective for me, how because the writers were desperate for Jess and Rory to get together they sacrificed any ounce of character development that Dean went through. It just made so much sense to me. I also think that people forget that they were both literal teens, baby young children who had zero emotional maturity, it doesn’t excuse the things that were done but it at least makes it make sense

[@theMad155]

I’m currently doing a rewatch and found it really weird that when we first meet Dean it appears like he was going to have the same quirky taste in media as Rory, but then in later episodes that isn’t the case.

[@melodyclark1944]

He broke up with her three times. In fact everyone always brakes up with Rory. You can usually fault the guys, but it's sad that Rory doesn't take an active part in her love life. She should find someone that's right for her and break up with someone that's not.

[@alaynajordan8459]

Exactly! The whole thing with Paul in A Year in A Life really drove that point home that she's completely impassive in her love life

[@jahnaviraman5411]

well she broke up with jess technically

[@melodyclark1944]

She did not. He broke up with her by leaving town. @@jahnaviraman5411

[@charoraimondogarcia]

after re watching the show like 15 times, Dean starts with the jelausy and the controling before Rory even breaths in the direction of other boys. I thinks she keeps dating him when these happens and when she isn't so invested in their relatioship anymore because Lorelai enables him and sees him as the ultimate good guy. Rory likes to do what si expected of her, and dating the "good" town boy is that. I can't stop thinking how Dean's relatioship in the revival is. Like he presented major red flags, he is propense to violent fisical outburts and I doubt he has done the work, why? because nobody un the show tells it how it is, e v e r y b o d y enables Dean, exept Jess. Dean likes the idea of Rory, the perfect girl. But the moment she has some personality, some goals that may drive her away from him, he doesn't like it. The only thing Rory liked about Dean is being put in a pedestal

[@monabohamad2242]

just to clarify and just to like be clear do you mean that Rory liked that Dean put her on some kind of a "pedestal"?

[@jahnaviraman5411]

exactly. jess and luke were the ONLY people who saw how awful dean was

[@jamileth_dsg]

I understand some of the points but I think most of them are based on the relationship they had. I mean, as you said, they weren't going to work as a couple, not because Dean was particularly bad but because they were really different, they had different personalities and aspirations. I think that's the main point about it. For me, Dean makes mistakes but the others do too, especially Jess. I understand the cheating thing was definitely huge, probably his lowest. But I feel some people compare Dean's lowest with Jess's highest haha. For me, Jess is bad almost all the time lol. I need a Why everyone hates Jess video 🥲

[@zumann874]

not everyone hates jess tho lol

[@junehosh4347]

This!! I saw a post that compared how Jess and Dean react to Rory wanting to got to Harvard where Dean said “I could care less about Harvard!” And Jess asks if she’s still doing the Harvard thing. Im like… y’all forgot that Dean apologized for his reaction and that he’s happy she wants to go to Harvard, and that Jess was initially trying to get Rory out of school and run away with him. Jess fans are delusional

[@megamapple01]

No one ever talks about the school dance where Tristian was being a little bit annoying and dean threatened to end his life??? Like??? It’s a school dance? Please

[@wolfgang5496]

You legitimately spoke my MIND! Oh my God yes I literally binged GG lately cause of the sudden hype again and thank the heavens you exist to clear up my mind from this collective chaos 😭

[@foodeaterwaterdrinker]

I'm gonna be honest with you, dean was cringe from day one. from the first time he talked to rory and he said "I've been watching you" like omg omg omg shut up. I did not like him at all and throughout the series he only got worse. the fact that everyone (except Luke) fell for his good boy persona was infuriating.

[@briannadale8532]

This is why we love Luke

[@carmelav8380]

i dont think rory ever liked dean that much they didn’t have any chemistry he was just the first guy to have feelings for her

[@anonymousforcommentslol6075]

the donna reed thing was just rory being reasonably petty and trying to prove like “lmfao so this is what you want then 😂” so that he would be like “nonono i’m sorry” which did happen lol

[@thatonedabifan]

I liked Dean and considered him the best for a bit. I felt when Rory and Jess were dating, Jess had a lot of growing up to do still. Now that I am in season 6 and Jess was the ONLY one to snap Rory out of it and after how Dean was about the affair... Jess has won. I've loved seeing him grow into who he is now and proud that he's published a book.

[@Forceprincess]

Lindsey on this show was like Natasha on SATC, i said what I said...

[@melissagoode151]

This is the first time I've heard of people hating Dean and I'm so happy to see other people exist. He wasn't a good boyfriend just like he also wasnt a good husband.

[@chelsieadkins6320]

I didn't watch Gilmore Girls until I was an adult. I loved Dean in season one but man they really made him just awful once season two hit.

[@adammeeks1856]

Am I the only one who like honestly loves dean

[@naturallyemily]

In the Donna Reed episode, Dean calls out Rory for only not liking Donna Reed because her mom doesn’t like Donna Reed. I took it as her trying to show Dean that she can make up her own mind and doesn’t just mindlessly follow her mom and that she has ideas and thoughts of her own. But like she’s 16 and by being extra with the cosplay it really misses the mark. Part of me thinks she thinks she’s being ironic but Dean, because of how she presents takes it as sincere.

[@redmaple1982]

I Think there was a lot of accidental chemistry between lorelei and Dean and this had nothing to do with the writing more that they were both styled in a way that made them look closer in age and both were more open and expressive than rory

[@kyndramb7050]

The way Dean treated Lindsay is how my ex-husband treated me. He "lost" the mobile I paid for, and I found it in his truck, with a bunch of texts to a girl he was "just friends" with at work.... and videos (not explicit, but flirty). Fucking gaslighting asshole.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Sorry you had to deal with that I hope you are doing well

[@margaux846]

1. love the french vibe you went for 2. your vid continues to emphasize how flavorless dean is

[@kierralovestv]

Thank you!

[@hilda3689]

i watched this show first time when i was 14 or 15 and i remember liking dean back then. it was so interesting to see when i watched it again now 5 years later that i saw everything in so different light and i hated dean, he was so toxic…. happy to see that i’ve grown a bit lol

[@mariavirginiamendoza7818]

unpopular opinion Dean isn’t that bad. Honestly he comes from a different upbringing compare to Rory. The whole Donnie Reed episode explains this to the whole conversation was basically how Rory saw how gross it was that woman’s were force into the stereotypecal house wives roles Dean finds this offensive because his mom enjoys doing that which is what a lot of women in this society still enjoy a lot of women still like being a housewife he doesn’t ever pressure Rory to be that and by the end of the episode they both come to term with that like they have a little disagreement but they’re able to compromise in a very mature for that age and see each other‘s point of view. he grew up in typical loving nuclear family and is he’s goal to have that in future. From his point of veiw he loves rory does all the transitional things a “good” boyfriend does he treated Rory with so much respect in the beginning. He literally builts this girl a CAR. He felt insecure with Rory with her rich upper class background Rory grandparents making smarking remarks at him. Which is funny bc in later season Rory gets rejected by Logan family cause he’s seen as lower class. He just becomes insecure and is emotional. these traits are so villainize in him. He becomes super needy but to his defense he can tell that Rory is falling for Jess is so oblivous and she leads him on the whole time & cheats on him. Getting cheating is traumatizing no matter what he ignore his gut instinct only to be proven right. Rory even regrets her decision bc she’s so indessive when she was with Jess she was complaining he wasn’t like Dean. Let’s not forget Jess try pressuring Rory to have sex with him at the party but yeah let’s forget about that behavior just because he comes from broken home doesn’t exactly justify it I find it weird how people can justify so much of Jess actions but can’t do the same with teenage Dean. Dean never got over the cheating and he started to build something with the girl he married only to realize because he wanted to move to fast and still had unresolved feelings for Rory because to him she was first love and Rory treated so badly. The same way Jess and Logan make Rory feel insecure she clings to Logan bc of it. to Dean she was his idealize person that he put on a pedestal that treated only to be like crap so when Rory and him finally have a spark and he’s feeling so much pressure from his marriage keep in mind he rushed into the marriage thinking it was a great idea because that’s all he ever knows like that’s what people do he gets married that’s from the kind of family that he comes from and he wants that but he realize he doesn’t want it with this girl he wanted it was Rory and he’s super shitty and I don’t excuse that he cheated with Rory that really is the biggest default in Deans character going downhill but let’s keep in mind he was only a teenager during these times only for the revival to come back in to have Rory still not even learned her lesson and still cheating with a engaged Logan. Rory cheated on Dean with Jess, then cheated with Dean only to later cheat with Logan as grown adult bc she never got any backlash like Dean gets all the time. Dean was treated like shit from the whole town who loves Rory even tho he’s the one who got dump. like imagine if Dean was a girl i seriously don’t think people would hate him as much if the gender were reversed. In the revival Dean has finally moved on and got his kids and wife the relationship he wanted. Rory clearly didn’t she even has this sappy thing of how how much of a great boyfriend Dean was

[@hdharmony]

Thank you someone has the same opinion as me I have a lot of points to make just on this topic and most Of them match yours I definitely like Jess as a character but at the same time he was horrible to Rory I feel like people just see Jess as good looking and that’s why they favour him but idk

[@heartfeltlovelyamethyst]

I have 2 theories about dean 1) he wanted a traditional relationship so that he could verbally take advantage of the women 2) he wanted to move really fast in the relationship (saying I love you too quickly and getting married too quickly) so that he could sleep with the girls

[@yohanedescends4683]

one thing i noticed is how when rory and jess are dating, there's a scene where she thinks he's upset and asks over and over again if he's mad at her and he just tells her no and she looked a bit confused. i feel like she was so used to dean always being angry and mad at her that she was surprised that jess weren't mad. also the main reason people dislike dean more than her other boyfriends is because the show CONSTANTLY portray him as the perfect boyfriend and that rory was an idiot for not being with him. idk why the writers didn't acknowledge his issues, everything was more rory's fault than his (rory wasn't a good girlfriend but at least they acknowledge that)

[@BumperSoda]

I never liked dean but i was in my own denial. Ever since, i’d say, after their first breakup because rory wasn’t ready to say she loved him, he didn’t sit right with me but i just kinda brushed it off because everyone in town loved him, lorelai would always hype him up to rory and he was just seen as a great guy from every perspective that i kinda went with it but seeing later how so many people had the same thought process i did is really refreshing. Rory had to BEG him just to do small favors for her and he thought that everything he had to go out of his way to do for her was a major burden. He was so incredibly controlling and honestly, would have ended up as a stereotypical abuser. Rory was constantly scared that anything she did, he would get mad at her for or he wouldn’t approve her and she was visibly walking on eggshells with him, he was never a good boyfriend but she was brainwashed into thinking he was by lorelai and the whole town and honestly i think some of the watchers were as well, at least i know i was. Rory was TERRIFIED that dean would blow up at her when she got into that car accident with Jess even though it most definitely was not her fault. Thinking about that one particular scenario deeply is honestly kind of… scary. Dean expected everything to go exactly his way every single day and had no idea how to deal with even the SLIGHTEST punches. I could go into this for hours on end, honestly.

[@AdinaIspas]

I totally agree, though right now after a month of reruns and watching ahead, I feel it's all bittersweet, and I wish they'd have ended up together. Yes he had all the red flags of a stereotypical abuser - it has to be acknowledged. But abuse often happens when someone is denying a part of themselves in order to fit societal expectations. So maybe if Dean finally came to terms with the fact he loved Rory as she is... they'd both heal. I dunno, I'm just not feeling the whole "Dean moved on" plot, I feel it's one of those emotional cover-ups.

[@workinprogress3329]

The fact that Luke never liked Dean ❤ chef kiss.

[@TIMMUT17]

I honestly feel like Dean gets a bad rep, specially in the earlier seasons. He was like 16... He had a lot of internalized ideals that he needed to grow out of, but he was always there for Rory. He was a very reliable person, and seemed to be a family comes first kind of guy. He just needed to grow up. Rory wasn't perfect either. They both were very flawed characters, but he was never a bad person, he hit rock bottom by cheating on Lindsey but even then it made sense it happened since he married so young and had never gotten over Rory. On the other hand, Jess gets a pass for a lot of the cringy, stalkerish, borderline obssessive things he did. I still like Jess, I think he's a great character, I just think Dean gets too much hate and Jess doesn't get enough lol

[@Chelbelle1983]

A WORLD of every damn thing you said. Yes.

[@stephjovi]

You're so right I feel like nobody ever talks about that. I've felt like that for years. Dean put Rory on this pedestal oh she's not like the other girls she likes reading. He never really had anything to talk about with her. She s talking and he's listening. No passion at all, and than he's pissed when she's busy trying to prepare for college getting all those things done that apperantly American colleges care about. Obviously she needs to work on the future that's more important than spending time with him. She and Jess had real conversations about lots of things music books they got along.

[@simple.edits.]

it's really nice how much effort you put into your videos and editing, i really like and enjoy your channel

[@kierralovestv]

Thank you!

[@isabelleb-l2699]

I think the biggest problem with Dean is that he was always gonna be a settler, like he clearly envisioned himself having a family in some nice house in Stars Hollow whereas it was clear that that was never the life Rory envisioned for herself and she knew it and he knew it but they just sort of hoped that the other one would change their mind

[@carysfriend9853]

Also, he manipulated rory into sleeping with him, now don't get me wrong rory is still to blame for a lot of that HOWEVER it annoys me that everyone talks about how wrong it was for rory to sleep with a married man, but no one talks about how he manipulated her into thinking he wasn't. Just an after thought lol

[@chelseygarrett4221]

Every time I watch it at a different age I have a different take. 😂 I also understood different references each time and each time I'm on someone else's side. I think all the boys that she was with were in her life for a reason for that time. We all make mistakes when we were kids we all craved different types of people as we grow. We're all just doing our best with the emotional tools we have.

[@paulasosa4623]

Let's be honest. A lot of the people like Dean because he's really charming and good looking and try to justify those moments when he was a jerk bc of that

[@Lililililili333]

I’m rewatching GG and I kinda understand Dean when he’s a kid, he’s just a teenager 🤷🏻‍♀️ hate the cheating on the wife though 🙅🏻‍♀️

[@rachelcheeseman3730]

Dean had the bad boy appearance (leather jacket, out of towner), but was too traditional for Rory. I kept thinking during season 2, if you don't trust Rory, just break up with her. (I thought in season 1 after the whole I love you break-up, they should have stayed broken up, but I was team Tristan when I first watched it.)

[@TheXander360]

Tbf Rory assumed they broke up. He never said we're done. He says 'I'll take you home' and 'it doesn't matter anymore' which I guess sort of imply a break up or that he wants to talk about it later

[@edendrew]

oh my god the lyndsay phone scene. that was absolutely awful. the poor thing. and how it contrasted with the scene where she cooks him dinner and is so excited. I think that she felt his sudden distance and was doing absolute everything to get him back in. just desperate optimism. and in that phone scene I dont think shes mad, shes guilty because she believes she is in the wrong. she should've had more screen time after they broke up.

[@yeyosilver7067]

If my girl had time for everyone but me, if I did everything she liked and she did nothing for me and if she cheated on me with another guy, I'd definitely have a bad temper

[@anso5833]

Then you should just break up with her because clearly you're not made for each other. Rory's appearance and aspirations made Dean insecure and he made sure to show it and make Rory feel bad often times.

[@yeyosilver7067]

@@anso5833 he did She was the one who always ran after Dean, she was extremely possessive of him but wasn't able to treat him well. Rory's whole point is how selfish she is about others Dean never felt insecure about Rory's career choices, he felt insecure because she was seeing another man behind his back, even though she said she "didn't have time" for him If you can't see the obvious in the show, that's your problem, not Dean's.

[@Erudite13353]

Dean terfied Rory to the point that Paris had to step in and say something. That's a sign

[@ayazeyad136]

I watched GG when I was 16 and I loved Dean and never noticed how toxic he is 😶😶

[@jijiian]

I didn't even know people hated Lindsey! That's silly. I didn't hate Dean, I always thought he was just immature and selfish but could probably eventually outgrow that.

[@maryboyle1207]

Discuss the inconsistencies with the Christopher character. I never.irked him. He never attended Princeton, his father was a lawyer, Christopher took GG to her parents and later to his mother, but Rory only met his parents once, in Year in the Life, Chris takes a position in. The family business, what business he was. It a layer. When Rory moves in with Kogan, Chris says he and the old campus of Yale go was back. I dontthinkhe ever went to college never remind Yale. Sorry, give me your thoughts.

[@chelsearegister6202]

I feel like you forgot one important point, and that is Dean and Tristan. I rewatched Gilmore Girls in my 30's for the first time since it aired, and I already got irritated at Dean the moment he met Tristan. Tristan was a jerk, and Rory had no interest in him, but Dean got into a fight with him at the dance and, worst of all, got mad at Rory when he was a part of her group in class. He yelled at her like that was her fault and then insisted on hovering while they were practicing, knowing it would egg Tristan on and prevent them from getting anything done. I started getting annoyed with him way before Jess showed up.

[@FeLima91]

What I don't understand is when people criticize Dean as a character with patriarchal/misogynous ideology, when both Logan and Jess also derive from the same place. Dean wanted a housewife, Logan doesn't need a housewife because he is rich and has female servants for that role and both Logan and Jess use women for entertainment/pleasure in an objectifying way. Everything derives from this same place, the uses of women that favor men. I just think that in Dean's case it is more exposed, while in the case of others it has more nuance. The three of them like Rory because she "likes books", because she somehow appears to be better than the other girls, the "she's special" narrative that the show wanted to emphasize, so if Dean is superficial because of that, then Logan and Jess are too. The three of them engage in cheating with Rory, so pointing it out only to Dean is hypocritical (even though it is still morally questionable). For me, that scene with Luke has to do with their history. Luke never liked Dean because he wanted Jess to be with Rory because he projected Rory as Lorelai and Jess as himself. So the scene for me is Dean (very rudely indeed) saying that Luke looks like him and not Jess. The scene makes sense because Luke isn't painted as the stereotypical bad boy, he's a small town man, like Dean. Indeed, what Dean says isn't true, Lorelai doesn't want "big dreams in big cities" but Rory seemed to want that and that's Dean lashing out his grief, that he really destroyed the family dream he had for another wish, his desire of being with Rory and nothing worked. He’s sad, feeling that he, as a humble small-town man, won't be enough for her, like maybe Jess or Logan could. And then, what happens in the reboot? Jess changes, stops being the world's biker and becomes a small-town man, like Luke and Dean, further cementing the narrative that Rory doesn't learn from her mistakes and retraces her mother's footsteps. Indeed, some of his behavior is worrying, but I also don't like a lot of Logan and Jess' behavior dealing with their emotions, who also go to explosive and toxic places. I think the fact that Logan and Jess are the bad boy stereotype and Dean is the white american/good boy stereotype, a lot of people want to defend bad boy archetypes out of personal preference and because they don't like Dean as a small town man, of conservative imagery, who wants to settle down and have a simple life. All this ramble is me defending Dean? Of course not, I personally don't like men romantically like that, he and Rory would never work as a couple with all of that mess but it would be great if the series showed in some way that if a woman wanted to be a housewife, her husband should also, in addition to not putting her in a box, know how to share the domestic work and perhaps the work of raising children with her because women who wants to be housewives exists and we shouldn’t bash them, we should respect them and their autonomy. Also, to defend Logan and Jess in absolute is to defend other problems, such as the romanticization of wealth and impunity (with Logan), or the romanticization of women as modifiers of men, placing the blame on women because men do not respect them since a "dignified woman"/ "not like the other girls" makes them stop being womanizers (with Logan and Jess). In the end, the show isn't about rooting for one guy or another, I think it was supposed to be about Rory's coming of age, including her romantic mistakes with the three guys. Neither of them seems good to date in real life, not without talking about the problematic ideologies the three of them perpetuated. I think that's what was missing in the series, understanding that men with this ideology are in the world and people have to relate to them, but without romanticizing their flaws because of personal preference.

[@shoyuramenoff]

Tbh, I've never even seen an episode of Gilmore Girls, but I find your content interesting and your voice really chill so I'm here lol.

[@kierralovestv]

Awe wow thanks for being here

[@paolapoklepovic7584]

I never understood Rory and Dean. There is not ONE thing that those two have in common. I literally see them as two people being attracted to each other and... nothing more???