Why fathers should be present at birth | Debrah Lewis | TEDxPortofSpain

[@africanfathers]

Brilliant! This is really important - women do not get pregnant by divine intervention! We men need to be involved in our partners pregnancy - 50% of that child in the womb is you! More please!

[@jessicaalcorn6314]

Will Ganness You may be mistaking this video for a MGTOW or an MRA one. It is not. Or maybe it is. But not as hardcore as you seem to want it.

[@ficklesick]

it's admirable that Trinidad has given a TEDx presentation like this, its about time. Well done Miss Lewis, well done.

[@LisaEngleOptiMOMcoaching]

Such a powerful message! Speaking from the perspective of my father having been at my birth, my children's dad w/ me and just 2 weeks ago tonight, with my son in law as he supported my daughter through their 1st birth. Bravo!! You're sharing an IMPORTANT piece of the necessary changes to restore humanity to functioning in healthy states of compassion and Love. Thank you.

[@licimatt5484]

Yes, a paternity protection act similar to the maternity protection act, please! Make it mandatory for workplaces to provide paternity leave. This is very important for encouraging active fatherhood!!

[@RectPropagation]

Such a wonderful talk. The information about outcomes for the newborn when the father is present was especially interesting. I've already had first hand experience with having better medical outcomes when my husband is there to advocate for me. Which is why it's so disappointing that so many comments have turned this into a man vs woman thing or a zero sum game. I cannot understand the mindset that resists doing anything that would help your baby because it would also benefit the father. Love and support can be given to the father without taking anything away from the mother. And again, the father's involvement also helps the mother. The entire family benefits from the father's early involvement so why insist that it not happen?

[@CloudTribe]

Might be the most important day of a mans life is the day he becomes a father. More than even marriage or having sex the first time. It's something that should be shared with us. Even in hospital births in north america men get pushed aside and ignored and they feel useless in the situation. They should be allowed a more active role in the birth and catching and delivering the baby they helped make. I personally hope to be allowed to deliver my wifes baby when that day comes and be a significant factor on that day, not one that got forgotten about.

[@magnolia31611]

Wonderful video!! I’ve been advocating for fathers rights to be involved parents since my first pregnancy. It is so so important, and would solve a huge amount of the problems our society is facing! When fathers are present, families thrive, and when families thrive, our society thrives!

[@zuzanazuscinova5209]

Not really. Some men are completely turned off by the experience. It's no secret.

[@BeautyandStyleTV]

@@zuzanazuscinova5209 I don't think birth is about being turned on anyway...

[@funeralgiggle3771]

1.25X Speed

[@tamic9145]

I feel that as a woman it is our job to pave the way for the rights of a father to be involved, during child birth. We need more midwives and Doulas , less OB surgeons involved in the process of child birth. During this special time the only other person in the room who should be with the mother is the father. Not friends, sister's, or Mother's. There is time after that baby comes into this world for the rest of the family to bond , but the day they are born is for the new Mom and Dad. Men need to want to be a part of the process and quit sitting on the sidelines. Help the mother pick a hospital or to birth at home. If the hospital in your area doesn't offer accommodation for the father, keep looking. Hospitals are a business and there are plenty to choose from. Don't settle because of convenience. A father's job is to help and protect the Mom and child . We need to get back to our basic instincts . Trust what feels right.

[@shellytansi]

PDXer I think alot of the time, family and friends get in the way of things. As soon as the baby is born, it's like the mother of the woman giving birth suddenly wants to grab up the baby as if it's her own, when it's not. There are many cases of this in hospitals, women will report that they should only allow one or two people in the room with her as she gives birth. The only person that will be in the room while I'm giving birth is my husband, I don't need my whole family to stand around me and wait to grab my baby.

[@simonebayer2081]

Do not judge and deny other people's choices, wishes and culture. We used to give birth with a group of women present, friends, whanau, and midwives, before doctors took that away.

[@themellowmama]

❤️ Yes!

[@shivitamohan6244]

Tami C You have to realize that some women need their mothers/whoever else with them. What is good for you may not be good for me. Try to understand that. I don't believe the room should be bombarded of course - but for the comfort of the birthing mother, she should have who she needs including or excluding the father. The end. Peace.

[@dakotamabry1645]

@@shellytansi I feel the same

[@katizkool5039]

I’m pregnant and my husband has been at every ultrasound we’ve done so far. It’s amazing to see his face light up when he sees baby pop up on the screen. He just holds my hand and keeps looking between me and the screen. He’s definitely going to be in the room and I’ve made it known to him and to our families that if there is only one person supporting me in the room it will be him. However, if things go according to plan we will also have our mothers and possibly a few sisters as long as they are able to stay quiet and calm and positive.

[@zuzanazuscinova5209]

Has he seen what the birth actually looks like?

[@salut4396]

@@zuzanazuscinova5209 Exactly lol

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Birth is Beautiful and if male doctors can handle it, a woman’s husband most certainly can. If he is queasy at the sight of blood, he doesn’t have to focus on the actual birth but can most definitely be there to support the mother of his child and to go skin to skin with baby asap. 💕 🌸

[@oreneileleratotshetlo2003]

How many single mom-to-bes are watching this alone rn? 🙃

[@dustinarmour6703]

This woman has such an amazing way of getting this point across . Amazing woman and amazing video! Its time to end the war on dads around the world.

[@pinds83]

Time to quit waving the Confederate flag too, bro.

[@kirans3326]

Tears rolled down while hearing her speech May good things happen to this woman I will work towards educating and encouraging other fathers (My wife's due date is nearing and I'm part of the birth process)

[@pinds83]

Never met my father in my life. I was raised by my mom alone. Yet, miraculously, I turned out to be a normal human being. So tired of hearing about how hopeless fatherless children are. Everyone focuses on the negative, but don't like to talk about those of us who are living normal lives. Repeatedly telling fatherless children that they're going to turn out to be drug addicted, alcoholic criminals with mental health problems is setting them up for failure.

[@yikes3576]

Omg yes thank you. My father passed away when I was 14 from cancer my brother was too young to remember him and my mother uses this as an excuse for his MAJOR behavioral problems.

[@drghdrgh1140]

Well. Like you said "miraculously" Not to take away anything from your mother and the family/friends that supported your mother and you, but it isn't a normal thing. Does the father have to be there no, they don't. 39% of those inmates interviewed didn't have parents so that leaves 61% of them did! So do 2 parents cause criminals? It isn't the amount of people but the type of person/people raising a child and the expectations placed on everyone involved

[@drghdrgh1140]

@@yikes3576 any member's death can cause a lot of issues for families. I'm so sorry

[@pinds83]

@@drghdrgh1140 Sure...

[@kathitpatel2707]

I like that someone speaks about father

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Me too‼️🌸💕

[@candicethomas9841]

this is absolutely so important! I'm so happy that some hospitals now encourage dads to also perform skin to skin

[@AMAETV]

Ok, I cried at 9:36..Can't wait to have my baby with my hubby right there by my side ❤️

[@Elemiriel]

AMaeTV ME TOO GIRL!!

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

‼️🙏🏼🙏🏿🙏🏻🙏🏽💗💐💜🥀

[@thehumblepeach9018]

Great talk. Men are very important and have been ignored more and more over the last half century. I’m 7 weeks pregnant and #1 condition is having my husband there, or I’m having the child at home where no one can tell me what to do

[@hannahbrathwaitephil]

I am exploding with drive now more than ever, to pray for a future where fathers are able to come into the hospitals to assist and partake of the birthing of their children or child. The day before my daughter died (she was just birthed) her father came to visit her and she gripped her father's hand so tight and would not let go. She stared into his eyes whilst he spoke. If he had only been given the chance to be there at the birth, the same hospital that he worked in. I applaud Deborah Lewis and I hope to have my baby at the centre Mamatoto next year. The more people protest, pray and place pressure on the failing system, I know, this area will thrive and come forth. This has been the plan of the enemy, but now revelation has be shown and light has come and progress shall burst forth in the name of Jesus Christ.

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Have you considered birthing in the comfort of your own home? 🏡 💕

[@trishayamada807]

I didn’t want my husband in the exam room. Women shouldn’t feel they have to give up their privacy just because they are pregnant. My husband was there for the birth of our 3 kids, but it was by my choice. He, respecting my bodily autonomy, supported my decisions.

[@trishayamada807]

ronnie. og he can see them after they’ve left the mothers body. No woman’s body is for viewing unless she agrees. It’s called bodily autonomy. I’m all for fathers in the labor and delivery room as long as the person giving birth says yes.

[@annickacarreon8982]

Men will be as involved as they *want* to be. It should absolutely be their right to be present, and most can be. How often will a man pick up a book on pregnancy or childbirth to better understand what mom and baby are going through so that he can truly support them? How often do men research the decisions we have to make for our children so that we can *together* make confident/informed decisions? Pregnancy and birth revolves around women because it is about women. I'm sure most all of us would love it if men showed more interest and took some initiative.

[@regularguyanonymous3248]

Annicka Carreon I agree, we have to start encouraging our little boys and men to embrace the fact that it's ok to have feelings and to be paternal, once mothers and fathers start encouraging this we will see change 👍🏼

[@subhrajitgupta5535]

im sorry to say but your statements are inconsistent.Men dont need to read books to be fathers.Its simple and if an expected father is not able to understand what it is to be like giving birth,then he is discrete.what i mean by that is ,men in general dont even get whats going difficult within them.So no man would get success with a pregnancy book, the very first times when you keep it on desk! But any lightened expected father would be able to show the presence and reciprocity,in a cipher way.and for that no human being necessarily needs to go read it routinely. sometimes us men wont understand the following steps to take just when the kid is born.Or maybe the new things to be added information wise because its women who give birth and they understand first the needs of her child prior when her child needs it.But having said that a single voice of help is enough for a man to add and feed necessities. Pregnancy is about women.Its within them and it surrounds them.But that feeling no greater than as when a man stands in the corner and witnesses the making of what he has made.The becoming of a father!!

[@jello1847]

Annicka Carreon I studied with my wife and we worked as a team and still do now, it's the only way to survive hahahah so really it depends what your relationship is like , you cant be selfish , that's hard because most people don't realize they are hahaha so if your husband Doesn't want to take the time to learn with you and about you it only hurts himself and everyone more, men need to be prepared the problem is society doesn't set it up that way they shrug us off and ignore us, but the reality is having a newborn is hard on both people in similar and diff ways all I can say is GOD and GRACE and a good TEAMMATE are the only way to get through !! So be patient out there and tell your spouse you love them !

[@shellytansi]

Speed Burst The making of what the woman's body made** I think is what you meant to say. I hate it when people say, "I gave my wife kids". No, that's incorrect. You should rather say, "my wife had our kids".

[@CurlyProverbz]

I could not agree more...

[@merb2491]

Fathers are so important! The family needs to be protected and supported. I can't imagine giving birth without my husband with me.

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

‼️💐💕

[@taramccarthy6242]

I love her accent, and her message is important. New dads need support too.

[@baruchservant5132]

I personally love this lecture, it a blessing to us over here as we eagerly look forward to receiving our first born.

[@presentfatherhood6216]

I totaly agree with this, I was denied access for my child's birth and it was so painful, worse, i have been playing catch up ever since.

[@sabitakhadka5866]

Wow. What a wonderful word❤❤

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Men have much more authority and ability to protect their wives than they realize, even in the hospital. Fathers can and should catch their baby if the couple wants to. Men have much more liberty/less resistance when their wife gives birth at home. Fathers can also almost immediately go skin to skin and start bonding with their babies when they are born at home.🤰🏻💗🤰🏾🌸🤰🏼🎀🤰🏽🏡 🍭 🏡

[@seizuregirlllll]

Not all mothers giving birth are with the fathers, not all fathers have been supportive or caring during the pregnancy

[@flmcghee]

Well done Ms. Lewis. Well done indeed.

[@kaydiangel33]

You assume All men would be good support during birth, but that is not true. A woman has a right to invite or exclude any person during her birth. Maybe she dosent want the father there. It is HER rights during birth, because it is HER body. Men do not have rights because men are not the ones in pain. I believe each individual woman should choose her birth support. No one has a "right" to be present at her birth. It is about the mother, it has been about the mother for thousands of years. It is HER birth. Yes it's his baby, but NOT his right to be at the birth. The mother will decide who she wants to help her. Some dads are mean or abusive, not all men should be allowed in the delivery room. It's up to the Mother to decide. It's her body. Tradition gives Women rights during birth. ♡

[@kaydiangel33]

I also believe every country should support parents rights. Parents should have rights to decide where, how, and with whom they want to give birth.

[@ultimate6243]

Children is not exclusive Property of women. Men have equal rights on children. Husband can enter Labour room if he wants to or can stand outside Labour room. Some time there is need for blood or Medicine so Husband and relatives must be there to arrange those things.

[@dakotamabry1645]

@@ultimate6243 long as it is still in her body she has the right to her own privacy and who is fit to see her child when its born . Goes for men and family members.. she went through the pregnancy and she delivered.. allowing her the right to her own privacy is a given . Men are not entitled to that or her body .. she can willingly share the moment and her body but her husband does not own her.

[@stevebreezy]

Why is this even a topic a agree I'd take on the whole u.s army if I was denied the right to see my child there is no child with out the father we plant the seeds that grow without us the is no ne,t generation

[@janen6085]

Assuming the father wants to be present.

[@ivy4298]

Yep. Most of them don't

[@TieshaNun]

VERY WELL SAID, SOMETHING I ALSO FEEL VERY VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT X

[@realar]

It doesn't help when you don't get to see your child until a MONTH after her birth.

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Did this happen to you? What happened?

[@acfkelly6291]

I didn't see my son for several weeks (me in ICU, him in NICU). Oddly, we're still fine

[@salut4396]

It should be the at the choice of the mother.

[@sukamtokamto7053]

A father should be present at birth so he can see how his wife struggle in labor by giving her spirit

[@seizuregirlllll]

Most men who aren’t in the delivery room is because they aren’t with the mother and there was been abandonment and mental abuse threwout the pregnancy

[@francis5944]

I’ve never been to any of my children's birth and 8 years later, we are still together… my best friend have been to all his kids birth and 7 years laters they are not together. Its not that important Im down for Support for family and kids. but being in the same room when the baby is born, i don’t think that is as important for the kid as it is for the mother…

[@jillronan6786]

That’s horrible! Wtf, Trinidad & Tobago?! My husband has been not allowed to be present for appts and ultrasounds but only because of COVID-19 😣 I can’t imagine him not being allowed to be there for the labour & delivery! I’m lucky that I’m in Canada 🇨🇦 and it’s just expected that he will present for birth, supporting me.... but now I’m going to be more aware of this dad-involvement deficit and do my best to include him in everything possible and support him. Maybe I’ll ask my nurse team to try and support him as well during my labour and delivery. Hopefully Covid calms down enough so we can actually have a baby shower-and I’m going to make it a mixed male/female event, so he can be around other dads

[@dakotamabry1645]

You know idk how that's suppose to make sense.. you are around your husband every day . A stranger or a group of strangers can deliver your baby and inspect your body but you can't have your spouse present.. who you been exposed to every day

[@chaitrag.r]

well said.. god bless...

[@starkillernoir7975]

Well said😇

[@GodHasBeenGracious]

Sure enjoyed this, thank you!

[@BrutusAlbion]

Whats this? Actual reason and logic has been applied? Giving attention to males and their aspirations? What blasphemy is this? Only women deserve more rights! Fight the patriarchy! lol This woman is marvelous! Reason, logic, compassion! Too bad nobody will listen to what she says because the powers that be just don't give a shit and have money to be gained saying otherwhise.

[@natashaskinner-rocke655]

Clearly you have missed the point...

[@BrutusAlbion]

Natasha Skinner - Rocke then plz do tell what the pont actualy was,

[@justinmckinney4093]

The way i see it its we are pregnant it takes 2 right right so pregnancy isnt just a woman but a man can choose wiether or not a woman will be a mother remember wat father means creator progenitor orginator beget but shes right we have no rights in wat we make that includes our own baby

[@FRUITPUNCH2609]

Thank you for this video, thank you for the acknowledgement for us new dads

[@kettlebellwafer]

This must not be in the US. I don't personally know a single father that wasn't present at the birth of his child. The cultural pressure for them to be involved these days is strong.

[@mayawallace7627]

Lana R. P. My husband isn’t present at any of the births of our children and that’s the way I want it. Everyone is different.

[@wshelby83]

I really hope I get to experience childbirth with my future husband. It's something special man

[@ONEFAITHofJESUS]

Absolutely‼️🌹💗

[@amiajohnson2428]

Yea but ain’t no point of being present if you gone sleep the whole time a women in pain giving birth

[@jomali9143]

Any Bangladeshi midwives here?

[@immasoxfanbaby]

Amen

[@MohamedAlaa3]

2:15

[@mohamedalaa2388]

2:35

[@rutaelena]

Porfavor!!! De una vez dejad las cosas como son! Dejad a las mujeres parir como lo desean, no ha de hacer presión que participen los padres en el parto... dejad a las pobres madres en paz!

[@DarkScorpionPete98]

Eres una dramática.

[@vacaspen5038]

so they shouldn't. Most the time they stand around and let the woman be abused and neglected. If you're not a trained professional or a friend and she's on the best terms with a leave her alone. Birth is not a spectator sport and many women give into stress and performance anxiety and it makes it worse. Birth is a spiritual physical exercise. Most of her attention goes Inward and she's paying attention to her immediate environment and our physical senses are at Amex. She is going to release or let part what she had grown and maintained for months. Search Amber Thiessen even about the child. It is first about the woman. Many people who are spiritual say that her intuition an insight will open into the spiritual world. That is why many Pagan deities were listed as midwives. Even an atheist admits that this can greatly alter a woman's consciousness. after the birth it's about her and the baby. The birth, both the mother and baby adapting to each other and they're wearing this of the environment. Women don't be self pity teen sabotaging and weak. And stop giving your Gloria way to medical professionals and even the men in their lives.

[@edunlap6594]

Not all men, of course, but most will be involved in childbirth if their favorite sports team and/or stripper midwife is involved. If men truly want to be there for childbirth there is NOTHING to stop them. They don't need to be prodded and coddled.

[@jenxespee]

🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹

[@petehuskins]

What has a father being present at the birth got to do with being with the child throughout it's life? A lot of men do not want to be present at the birth. It can be extremely traumatic to watch someone you love going through hours of agony. (and despite some of the flowery descriptions here, for many it is 24+ hours of agony) It can leave them traumatised and never wanting to venture between the womans legs again. Some men want to, and that should be encouraged but for those who don't, stop with the guilt/blackmail please!

[@FRUITPUNCH2609]

Just because you are traumatized to see you loved one going through hours of agony does not mean your partner don't need your support. In fact, this is the moment she needs you the most

[@4Mr.Crowley2]

If you are not mature enough to stay with your partner while she is giving birth then you have no business even having sex. Sorry, but that isn't a "man." That is a boy who doesn't have the courage to stay with his woman when she needs him the most -- ffs grow up. It's embarrassing to us mature men.

Poor guy, he's going to be traumatized to see her suffer. So yeah, go away then, to make sure to not feel bad anything. Leave her alone, while SHE is the one in pain, while SHE is the one pushing out his child and while SHE needs assistance and support from her loved one. It's not about HER after all, it's about HIM, right.

[@ruthmaryrose]

+Peter Huskies I am a woman and for what it’s worth, I agree with you. It should be the couple’s choice. What is more crucial is that the father be married to the woman, love and cherish her, and provide safety and security. Above all else the child deserves to be conceived and raised in love and security. That is more likely within a lifelong vowed relationship between his parents.

who cares about the marriage O.o

[@lokaitnt]

Oh God NO- this is a Public health session at the YMCA!

[@lokaitnt]

Why was this talk session allowed? Is it we want to have a talk TED session on our resume ? At least stick with what you are suppose to do inspire not preach!

[@The_Mature_Man]

Very interesting TED talk. I think if fathers take and active part in the beginning it can set a good foundation for their parenting journey.