Why I Am NOT Body Positive (Meghan Tonjes Response)

[@KickingGeese]

she keeps insinuating that a person that wants to lose weight and live a healthier life hates themselves and that's offensive. for me I consider it an act of self love

[@aquamohawk]

I've been following both you guys for years were you guys in videos together or have a mutual friend ? Love your vids btw❤❤❤❤❤

[@KickingGeese]

@@aquamohawk yes! I love meghan! but her take here isnt very good. this is an old video and I imagine (or hope) her views on weight loss have expanded since this

[@aquamohawk]

I'm with you ;with age and changes in health through the years I also consider it an act of self care and love physically and mentally

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

Yeah, she might be referring to a few individuals she knows of or assume but yeah that all or nothing thinking is definitely easy to identify

[@KickingGeese]

@@NextLevelOnlineCoaching absolutely and it’s not as if diet culture CANT be toxic with toxic af influencers

[@lucylemongrab6575]

I'm disabled and I find it so frustrating when people claim that saying you should eat healthy and exercise is "ableist" because "not everyone can be healthy". It's true that I will never be healthy, but if I eat well and exercise I'm still healthier than I would be otherwise. Saying it's good to cultivate healthy habits is not the same thing as saying anyone who's not healthy is worthless.

[@Megan-ep2tp]

Totally agree. I hate it when people use this argument. I will never be totally "healthy" but I can definitely be the healthiest version of me. When I eat well and exercise and take care of my body, I am in less pain, I have fewer complications and my quality of life is massively improved.

[@Anna-fw7lm]

In Italy we say : Inutile è chi l'inutile fa . I don't think it can be translated well in english because it's a saying (originally not even with 'worth', but with 'stupid', but it can be changed due to the occasion ^^ ) it's more or less like "Worthless is who the worthless do"

[@vickyoli]

THIS. I have dystonia (a painful one) and had scoliosis surgery. Sometimes I think “I would cut my fingers in exchage for a cure to my dystonia”. I wish I could change it by just exercising or eating healthier. I take care of myself, because I am afraid of having diseases. If I can avoid a diseases or cure it, I will take 100% the chance

[@Hila2205]

Using the 'ableist' card is to me like... ok. So because there are people that CANNOT, that means that everyone SHOULD NOT? That's taking a whole new advantage of disabled people, not so?

[@katarinabaird6822]

Not everyone can be healthy... Everyone can be healthier.

[@weirdandlazy1]

Why don’t fat activists advocate for shorter work days, and affordable, healthier food so it’s easier for everyone to be healthy

[@weirdandlazy1]

Junk food and fast food are inventions of capitalism. It’s not natural, therefore obesity isn’t natural. They need to direct their energy elsewhere.

[@Searchin4keys]

Cause then they'd have to eat the healthier food and change and that's a no no

[@zirrnorseman8068]

@@weirdandlazy1 well, obesity is natural. It happens when you eat too much all the time. But I agree!

[@Champagnebear]

BeCaUsE tHeRe iS nO bAd FoOd...and food companies defo have out best interest in mind and definitely don’t want us addicted to their garbage products 🙄

[@donnachaobrien90]

Ultimately it's all about choices. If suddenly at the height of my alcoholism I had been told hey you get a shorter workday I wouldn't have gone home and exercised I would have gone home and drank more alcohol.

[@xxMelanie3]

They always end everything with “I personally don’t care what your body looks like” minutes after calling out thinner influencers.

[@amberc9053]

As a black woman, I hate it when people try to equate that with being fat. You can change your weight, I can't change my race (nor would I want to)

[@emanlee2003]

It's sad

[@akumayoxiruma]

Nor do you need to: Ethnicity isn't bound to diseases or mortality - weight however is.

[@ailema.4548]

Also, 79% of Americans are overweight. She's more than half of the population. Black people, however, only make up 14% of the American population. Your gonna stand out more than someone who's fat and as a result, your gonna be harrassed more than someone who's fat.

[@bimbozos]

@@ailema.4548 this!!!! this is such a good point. racism and fatphobia are incomparable.

[@clau83938]

Exactly!

[@katesantell6719]

When Glitter and Lazers trusted her body that it wasn’t feeling good, and decided to change for her mobility, she was crucified. Doesn’t sound like she was trusted by the community.

[@BabyblueLeo]

I was 227lbs and I hated myself. I couldn't go up a flight of stairs with being out of breath, I had a hard time tying my shoes, and I was terrified becoming diabetic. I am down 70 lbs and am starting to love myself again. You can love yourself when you are obese. But don't attack other people when they don't.

[@eladdov8601]

Keep doing it! I was 300 pounds and in two years lost 120 pounds, I feel so much better and healthier

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

Congrats! THat freking amazing

[@ksnlovely]

Wow!! That’s so awesome!! 🙌

[@EmilyAnnWalshDontJudgeRead]

Completely agree, I’ve lost 71 pounds over the last 2 1/2 years at my heaviest I was 219 pounds. I can tell you at 5’2, that having that much excess weight on my small frame was terrible. The same @BabyblueLeo I couldn’t go up a flight of stairs without being out of breath, my knees screamed at me every single day. Yeah my blood pressure was OK, my labs were normal but my PCOS was out of control. It was so out of control that I almost died from it because I had a cyst on my ovary that caused me to have emergency surgery. My recovery was twice as long because I was overweight. I had complications because I was overweight. I didn’t like myself at 219 pounds, because there was things I wanted to do but told myself, convince myself I couldn’t do them because it would’ve been an inconvenience for myself and embarrassment to go on that hike and not make it a kilometre and I feel like I was dying. Now I can do a 7K hike and still have energy left over to go on with the rest of my day, to go on a date with my boyfriend. To HAES, I don’t care if you’re proud and fat, but don’t attack people that were fat and that were not proud and wanted to make a change, wanted to live a long life and were terrified of the consequences if they continue to gain weight. As somebody who’s watched her father’s friends not make it to 60 because they were obese I have died because of it, yeah it terrifies me. My dad is in that realm and it terrifies me that he’s not gonna make it another 10 years because of his weight.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

@@EmilyAnnWalshDontJudgeRead Whoa that is so powerful you can now do a 7k hike. AMAZING story!

[@pialina1196]

10:55 "We all should want to be healthy" is not at all ableist. Disabled people can still strive for health, despite having a handicap. And sure no person will be on top of their health game forever. Turning that into a reason not to try at all makes no sense to me. News flash to her: There are disabled people who are trying to improve their situation to be healthier and avoid future complications and they don't all hate their bodies or their conditions. Wanting to be as healthy as you possibly can is a normal thing and has nothing to do with ableism or not loving yourself and your body.

[@DoodleDoo2]

Honestly them stating it’s ableist is more of an offensive thing to say than them thinking everyone striving to be healthy is a ableist term. What are they implying? That wanting to be healthy is something only people who aren’t disabled can achieve, that disabled people are incapable of being healthy because of their disability? These kind of statements are what happen when you are ignorant to real issues and people.

[@sophasopha2357]

Agreed. I personally don’t think it’s fair to call anyone ableist, because I simply think that unless someone is disabled themselves, they will never truely know what it’s like. I also wonder if she’s implying that people with mental disabilities are unable to be healthy? I’m autistic, does that mean I can’t look after my body? And even then, people with body parts amputated, or with muscle disorders, and other things like that are able to be healthy. I’ve seen and met a lot of people with physical disabilities who do los of working out and are in great shape despite their disability. There’s even a guy who’s a competitive swimmer who have no arms OR legs (Sadly can’t remember his name at the moment)

[@pialina1196]

​@@sophasopha2357 Exactly. And it's not even only about being active and eating healthy... I was born with a disability that effects the way I walk. Do I hate my body because I do physical therapy and used to wear leg braces when I was younger to "treat" my disability? Of course not.

[@pialina1196]

@@DoodleDoo2 I thought the same thing but I didn't want to go as far as to accuse her. I learned to be careful with turning these kinds of arguments around on the people saying them. That just makes people get defensive and doesn't really help the conversation. Here it's ok because she's not directly addressed (even though she might come across the comment and read it), but when talking to a person you should think twice if you want to go there.

[@DoodleDoo2]

@@pialina1196 I can tolerate a lot of things from people. What I can’t tolerate is this kind of ignorance and exclusivity. I don’t care if they get upset or defensive, it only makes them look bad AND they get no grace from me considering they had no problem bashing other people.

[@nosauce5321]

I dont know how many times I have to say this as a "person of color" but I hate being lumped into the toxic side of body positivity and having white women try to speak on my behalf. No thank you ill do it myself okay.

[@theoutsiderjess1869]

I'm black as well and i was also obese but It is very annoying hearing these people act like the victims because they can't put the fork down or exercise

[@ivy456]

Ikr? I can't change my race with changing my lifestyle but I can change my weight. So it's not the same. How hard is that to understand?

[@صوفيا-خ6ث]

same i acc hate it, i feel like they do it on purpose ngl, please my beautiful black women and poc look after your bodies take control 💓 take accountability 💓

[@keybearer26]

I feel like so much (if not far too much of this movement is just Caucasian women bemoaning their weight)

[@kathrynrhodes7785]

I’m white and I’m upset for you ladies. I agree it is not the same and so not fair. And it’s a lack of privilege recognition from my perspective. I know I’ll never understand what someone in a minority group deals with just because I happen to be white in a culture where white people are seen as the majority. But I will NEVER EVER EVER compare being fat to being black or what have you. I would be insulted too. Honestly to me she is a little snow flake who needs to grow up, and take her head out of her ass and learn what real issues are. I do my best to check my privilege and support the best I can. And ask questions. I do not want to speak for you or any person of colour on here. If someone wants to correct me that’s fine. I recognize I don’t understand. But empathetically I know how upset I would be if say I were a black women and her making that comparison. Now in terms of comparing it to being a women and living in a world of sexism, that I can speak fro because I am a women. And I know that I have experiences that men just can’t understand. But I hope they do try and emphasize and support just like I try to do. But yes her comparisons were WAY UNFAIR and she needs to check her privilege. Yes it’s ok to get upset about people being mean to you. That’s not ok. But that does not give you the right at all to compare to being a woman (as a women herself I am surprised she even said that), or trans, or a minority group. Meanwhile there are people starving in multiple areas of the world. Obesity is definitely a first world problem. Yes some people have health conditions out of their control. But it also doesn’t help that we live in such comfort. If cavemen got fat the would die, because they wouldn’t be able to run away. Anyways that’s just my take. I would love to hear others perspectives on this. And anyone else feel free to correct me, as I know most of the issues I am talking about I could never personally understand. I do my best to try and support and educate myself. I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day. Let’s try and spread some more love and positivity over the internet. Ugh. It used to be such a great tool. I feel like it’s mostly entitled people being upset because they feel attacked and I’m right. Years of comments sections (some are very positive), or just entitlement has turned the internet into a very toxic place. There are still positive things which I try a focus on. Anyway that’s all from me. ✌️ & ❤️

[@Marc-rx5xg]

As an overweight transguy who's losing weight, it's kinda weird to equate being obese to being trans. I'm changing the overweight part right now, but being trans is permanent and I can tell you: I face a lot more discrimination for being trans than for being overweight/ obese. I was 5'7 and 240lbs, as a side note, I'm now 190lbs

[@russianbot1339]

Ikr it makes me cringe so hard how these people seem to make their obesity a large part of their identity.

[@wyattignaczak9154]

Congrats on the weight loss and I get what you are saying

[@ranimosman5624]

congrats on the weight loss . so proud of you

[@ninaasf-ck]

They want to play in the "Oppression Olympics" and this is the only card she has. The most annoying thing is that people like her think that there's a prize to be won in that competition. The people who medal in the "Oppression Olympics" would *kill* to not be in the competition at all. She's nothing without her self-induced, self-righteous, self-indulgent victimhood and that's sad.

[@bloodiebunnie]

proud of you!! keep going, you can do this!!

[@bensebastian42]

Bro as a transman when she pulled that comparison.... yikes. I literally say this as someone who's entire family is overweight/obese/morbidly obese. I get that excess weight can be extremely difficult to lose and I get that theres genuine discrimination from some people and I get the appeal of just wanting to say that you dont actually have a choice, but it's just not true. And the social pressure from people around you will NEVER be the same as the systematic discrimination and daily fear trans people live with in this political climate.

[@Sarahlittrell3110]

I think they dont understand that life is difficult no matter what Having said that, being a woman of color with an accent who lives in the USA, I find it highly offensive that she compares her "fatness" to my reality... I am sometimes afraid to speak my native language to my kids in public, in case some weirdo does something to me or to them....

[@Lenci_of_Hazelnut]

That sounds hard. I'm so sorry.

[@criticaldrive7688]

I hope that happiness comes your way for you and your family soon.

[@gr8kat1]

I am 47 and have struggled with my weight most of my life. I've also struggled with muscular dystrophy most of my life. I would love to move and be physical, but it's literally not in my genes. Throughout my life, I've watched my muscles dwindle and the fat accumulate. I have trouble with body positivity because my body finds ways to betray me at every turn. I wish I had the options and opportunities that some of these people have and squander.

[@christianbordelon1019]

At 206 lb.s my blood work was amazing, so I would considered “healthy” by that standard, but I felt like crap. I’m so over being exhausted and just feeling blah. I started a health journey at the beginning of the month. My current weight is 195 and I am already getting crap for it. People tagging me in posts about “toxic diet culture”. I’m not even “dieting”. I simply changed my eating habits and took up exercising. I come from a background of an eating disorder so to be called “toxic” for losing weight and getting healthy the correct way is so frustrating. Like I have overcome anorexia and now I am overcoming binge eating. Why does that have to be “toxic”?

[@plumdutchess]

It's sickening how people attack those who choose their own path. It sounds like you are on an amazing path and you are doing it for you. That's the way to go! Congratulations on overcoming those struggles and I wish you all the strength for the future.

[@Jayne_Rose]

I admire your strength. People just don't know the real truth and the background circumstances. Jumping to narrow minded conclusions. It's horrible that you've had to face and endure this kind of behaviour from others. I am glad that you knew better than to listen to such nonsense from others and trusted your gut in what was right for yourself and your life. 💙

[@haleydunnigan1485]

Keep doing what you’re doing! Don’t let people bring you down.

[@marthaglover7650]

When people see you thriving and reaching success it bothers because they’re too insecure to do it themselves. People want to see you do good, but not better than them and that’s THEIR problem.

[@Lady_de_Lis]

I get so frustrated when people say, "Well, we're all gonna die sometime." In my experience, with my obese family members, they don't actually die super young. Definitely sooner than expected, but not in their forties or even fifties. More often sixties or seventies. But you know what they all have in common? Being miserable. Not emotional misery, I mean. I'm talking physical misery. They can barely move, it hurts them just to move. They have several health problems that make them feel like shit all the time. The worst was my aunt. She was diabetic, but she refused to get treatment or alter her diet at all. She ended up being a double amputee, had congestive heart failure, was confined to a wheelchair, so weak from her heart problems that she hardly had enough strength to move that wheelchair, unable to go to the bathroom by herself, relying entirely on her daughter just to survive day to day. She ended up passing away from kidney failure in her seventies. But for 10 years of her life, she was living in that miserable state. To clarify, I'm not in the business of policing people's choices. I'm not going to go around trying to scare people into being healthy. That's stupid. Also not helpful or compassionate. But I am seriously sick and tired of the "we're all gonna die sometime" mentality. If you want to make unhealthy choices, you do you. That's fine. I just wish people actually realized what it is they're really signing up for. It's not just an early death. It's often a terrible quality of life for possibly decades before you ever die. At least the cigarette smokers and alcoholics I know will acknowledge this much. They might keep smoking/drinking themselves into a terrible state of health and early grave, but at least they understand what they're doing. Most of them that I've met, anyway.

[@megsley]

I wish people who said shit like that considered the fact that most likely their family will have to be their caretakers later on - almost like our choices bear consequences not just for us, but for those around us as well.

[@jayceecurran]

I’m 20 years old and I have hated myself everyday since I was about 8 years old When I was 19 years old I was at my heaviest weight of 260 pounds I hated being fat! I didn’t hate myself because I was fat! I hated that my weight had me struggling to walk up stairs, being out of breath getting dressed/ showering, frustrated finding clothes, embarrass not fitting in a booth at restaurants, feeling gross after eating a large high calorie filled meal, etc I struggled in gym keeping up playing tag and kickball at school The worst part was the emotional pain my grandma felt about my health I hated myself because of people’s hurtful words/ lack of words and because of people’s hurtful actions/ lack of actions I questioned my worth daily to the point I attempted suicide at 13 years old (and several times since) My mom and grandma struggled to accept I was a girl wanting to wear boys clothes I had school guidance counselors questions my sexuality when I wasn’t (born female and always will be) I had my school system not caring to give me extra support and my parents not demanding more education support I struggled to connect with kids my age My weight gain wasn’t because I hated myself My weight gain was me coping with my emotions I was raised on fast food and high calorie junk food My weight loss wasn’t being I hated myself My weight loss was because I was tired of physically struggling with the basic parts of life I changed because it was something that I didn’t need the extra stress of I didn’t change because I thought I’d love myself more

[@sophasopha2357]

I’ve never understood the people who say that losing weight is purely because you hate yourself, or you aren’t beautiful, or whatever. Just an example, what if I was like, 300 pounds and I was sick and tired of not being able to run a couple meters without being completely out of breath, so I start losing weight so that isn’t the case? What if I wanted to get into doing something like tennis or soccer because it looked fun, and as a byproduct I started losing weight? What if I wanted to start horse riding but I couldn’t because if I even TRIED getting into the saddle I would injure the horse, so I lost weight so that the horse wouldn’t be carrying itself + 300 pounds? I honestly think it’s pretty hypocritical and ironic to say that beauty isn’t tied to weight, but whenever someone loses weight they immediately say “oh, well you must hate yourself then?” “Oh you must think being fat is ugly” like no, people can be skinny and ugly, people can be fat and beautiful. Losing weight doesn’t always have to be about wanting to be beautiful, it can also be for... literally ANY OTHER REASON. Also, as someone with an ACTUAL disability (high-functioning autism) I don’t believe that it’s fair to call someone ableist because they will never be able to know what it’s like to have a disability unless it happens to them, just like I will never know as a white person what black people go through. Whenever I hear people like her talk about “ableism” and talking about it like she’s talking about it, I actually find it pretty “ableist” myself. Being morbidly obese isn’t a disability. I didn’t choose to be autistic, people don’t choose to be born without limbs or have them amputated. You can choose to let yourself go and you can choose to change that and reverse those effects, but I will never be able to live a normal life.

[@ripleysigningoff1231]

But what about the people who are not and never have been near 300 lbs? Why can't our healthy but bigger bodies be excepted and celebrated?

[@reginamaier7452]

@@ripleysigningoff1231 Accept it. Celebrate it. No one says we can't do that for ourselves. What is being focused on by activists is the outside view instead of the strength and beauty within, and that'san issue. They start out pretty good, talking about the self-view, confidence, beauty within and without, etc. Great! But it quickly changes to a game of blame and whining about the unfairness of it all. The questions they ask seem to have an outsiders-view focus: "Why can't others accept me as I am?" "Why do people make me feel bad?" "Why do others tell me I don't conform, and that I have to so I can be accepted?" What's wrong with this picture? It entirely negates all previous self-acceptance, self-love, self-condident claims. If it were about the self, an outsider perspective wouldn't matter. So I wonder, especially with the question you just ask to which i am responding, why can't we be confident, ignore negativity, and be pleasant humans at the same time? Why does everything need to be communicated through accusatory virtue signaling and strawman arguments? It gives the perception of insecurity, not confidence. I don't think that's what we're going for. Just be confident. Celebrate the self with no apologies. Period. Personally, I don't agree 100% with some blanket statements Obese To Beast says in his videos. That advice made me fat. I know the truth of my existence, but I don't blame him for not knowing my personal struggle or situation. He knows his own, and he shares that for those who want to listen and for whom his advice may work well. I Don enjoy him saying things such as "all people of a certain size did this or that, etc, and that'swhy they are that size." That may apply to him and other people,, but not to people like me. It doesn't help me in any way and doesn't apply to my situation, but I listen anyhow. I defend his right to share his truth as he has experienced it. I have followed his type of advice in the past. It was offered to me from doctors, nutritionists, therapists, family... I gained weight and became more unhealthy. They all said it was my fault.. i knew it wasn't. What i didn't do,, though, is give up, give in, and ask the world to love me. I am capable of loving myself.. If I followed his advice now, I would regain the 175 lbs I lost and ruin my health. I'm not saying it doesn't work; it just doesn't work for me. But I don't say it's his fault or that he should change his speech or views. I just do what I know works for me and let him talk about what he knows works for him. His words do not cause me any harm or suffering. They do not silence me or stop me improving myself as I see fit using my personal plan. I took personal responsibility and found my own path that does work. Does that mean I hated myself? No. There are many great qualities about me outside of looks or health that I love and wouldn't change. I just wanted to be aesthetically pleasing to my own eyes, and that's okay. I didn't want to die young, painfully, as both my parents did, and that's okay, too. I matter to me, and how I look in the mirror matters to me, and my health and abilities matter to me. Therefore, I figured out how to obtain my goals for myself, and I'm changing for myself doing what I know works for me. My words to the activists: Do live unapologetically, but live without blaming others for an unpleasant life. Life is made up of what you create by choosing the actions and attitudes you take on. Why make it harder than it needs to be? Enjoy and be grateful for what you already have. Why not? Is something someone said taking away your ability to move past it and choose joy instead? No. You are doing that to yourself. Simply stop. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[@whonotyou.1984]

24:34 omg that just got me mad. I didn't choose to be a women or queer or brown. However everytime you eat over your calories and don't exercise you choose to be fat. If you buy your own meals and choose to not portion your food or eat unhealthy foods you are choosing to be fat.(Obviously I'm excluding people that have health conditions that make them fat).

[@amandarae8835]

I think the “proof of health” to be a model stems from the really skinny/anorexic models having to prove healthy weights to work. I think whoever made the comment on her page flipped it to ask if plus size models have to have “proof of health” to work.

[@CHloE748]

People who get mad about someone else bettering themselves are just jealous, whether they realize it or not.

[@baffled_clam]

Straight up agree! think it's their insecurities that do this to them; they might try lying to themselves every damn day that they are obese and healthy, but I think they know deep down they aren't, and seeing the success of others - rather than making them motivated - only increases their jealousy. For whatever damn reason 😒

[@leahsonpoint4518]

Yes!!

[@Tina06019]

From my perspective, folks should (mostly) mind their own business. The exceptions would be close family members, spouses, best friends & the medical care providers of folks who are harming their own health. Those people have a right to bring up the bad health habits of the other person, but still, they shouldn’t bang on and on and on about it.

[@JennRighter]

I was subscribed to her for a long time. You are very accurate in describing that people exist in bubbles and what they view as the norm is often concentrated to the bubble they exist in and that is why they’re so shocked when other people are not familiar with what they are. This applies to people in every facet of life, I am in NO way saying this is exclusive to her or that I am immune to it. What I AM saying is that I personally seek out alternative opinions to try my best to avoid existing in an echo chamber. The reason I unsubscribed from Meghan is because she does not do that. She is talented, a WONDERFUL singer, she’s very intelligent, she’s beautiful, she loves dogs. But after years of watching her videos I saw her narrow into this very specific, concentrated bubble. She is funny and sarcastic, but that became a very narrow thing over time. I became increasingly annoyed with how limited her view of people and the world became. And last I watched any of her content, she seemed unaware that she exists in an echo chamber, which made it so much worse. I wish her the best, she’s more talented than I am, but she became unbearable to watch.

[@JennRighter]

I would also like to say that she plays up being from the midwest, despite having lived in L.A. for years and years now. I think she does this to avoid being accused of being in the "L.A. bubble", as many KZbinrs are once they move there.

[@JennRighter]

"I only care about the people who have the same beliefs that I do." THANK you for that, that is exactly what her mantra should be. In THIS video, she's trying to police what other people are saying and why they should or shouldn't be saying it based on what she deems to be acceptable. She briefly said it was "so hard" for her to come into a conversation and tell people what they should be doing...maybe consider not doing that? Especially if you have a platform where you can say what you think. It obviously wasn't that difficult for you to drop into a conversation online that you weren't a part of and place your personal judgments and parameters and even assumptions all up in there. I'm sorry, but it's so strange to me that someone as smart as her behaved this way and then got worse in that same direction. It goes to show you just how much that echo chamber can affect people.

[@AMcGie]

Really well put, she's absolutely in an echo chamber!

[@Desolate-Utopia]

As someone else who was subscribed to Meghan for a number of years, I also came to the same exact conclusion you came to quite a number of years ago now and decided her content was no longer for me anymore. And to be honest, she's probably happy we're gone. I remember vividly her saying a number of times for people to leave and not come back when they disagreed with her. She got stuck in a mindset, simply stuck, and refused to look outwards, whether she agreed or not.

[@tonjes]

@@JennRighter 😂

[@akumayoxiruma]

21:54 That is so funny because 'body positivity' doesn*t have its roots in promoting obesity or accepting fatness. It originally was a movement to support people with PERMANENT genetic conditions such as vitiligo and victims of accidents such as burn scars to love their body. Those people had no choice in getting nor getting rid of that aspect - unlike people who are over-/underweight. Body positivity is for people like John who has plenty of loose skin. But a while ago it was stolen and rebranded by the fat glorifying movement to justify their problematic status against scientific research on health and beauty standards. That is why I call them 'body negativity' movement because there is no love in consciously destroying your body.

[@MSJARELA]

She is dismissive of the struggles of others because she FEELS her self-induced victimhood is “worse”. That is incredibly narcissistic.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

yeah, very selfish - self- centered

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

Yes this exactly.

[@crystaldollhouse]

If you don't mind me asking, what did she say that made you feel that way? I'm just curious bc I didn't get the same impression

[@Fortheloveoflore]

@@crystaldollhouse I didn’t either. I got the impression that she thinks that what she does with her body isn’t anyone else’s business and she doesn’t have to feel bad that others want her to lose weight just because some people aren’t able to lose weight because of some issue. It’s the same argument used to tell women not to get sterilized, because Some others can’t have kids. It’s a poor argument to make.

[@lamma746]

@@Fortheloveoflore That pretty narcissistic though. Not in the same way the OP is making it out to be, but she lacking empathy because she's insecure. A lot of people are just being vulnerable and she's taking that vulnerable person's statement and mocking it. Also, she uses ableism and compares herself to people getting discriminated against due to race.

[@rachmaninovwasemo2313]

I thought the roots of body positivity was for people like me who have certain disabilities or disfigurements. Oh wait, I forgot, I'm a size 2 so I don't get to own that title. Doesn't matter if I have large surgical scars all over the lower half of my body. Im "privileged" because I didn't have to suffer not fitting into clothes or seats. Funny thing is, I rarley think about how "able" bodies are luckier than me. In fact I don't think that way at all. I acknowledge this is one of my unique struggles I have to go through in life and other people have their own. Sure, I'm sad over the fact that I barley got to attend highschool, was in pain most of my adolescent years but I definitely don't pit my experience against anyone else's and act with jealousy or envy. Maybe that's the difference between people who are truly victims of their circumstance and people who create a victim circumstance for themselves. I know I sounded condescending at the beginning of this comment. I think it just makes me mad when people MAKE themselves a victim and then act like they have no control over their situation even when it is their own doing. Meanwhile other people like myself fight HARD to get out of the victim situation we were given that was out of our control. Now here's the reality, I'm sure she was actually victimized at some point in her life for something because she wouldn't feel like this if that wasn't the case. And she could be using the fat narrative as a way to stay a victim but also not confront what actually victimized her. I find this in a LOT of people who self victimize. Almost all of us do this to some extent.

[@Jayne_Rose]

As another who is disabled due to chronic illnesses etc, I completely agree and have commented similar things myself. I'd love to be apart of a body positive community as I really struggle to be inside my body a lot of the time, most of the time physically existing is painful. I love who I am, I do what I can to look after myself all the time and yet I don't feel safe or comfortable to be in the body positive community due to HAES and other sections that speak out in a way that over takes everything and excludes others by their words and actions. I recently joined John's discord which was a good start, I'm still struggling to connect though. I don't feel as though there is a place in the world or a global community for those who need a safe space for body acceptance and positivity. I hope I'm wrong and there is one, or one will be created again. There isn't anything to stop HAES/other outspoken group to come in and take it over and once again push others out. I am saddened that there is no equality. I understand that HAES is fighting for their own equality as they've felt marginalised for far to long, I just wish they'd pull back the reigns and allow others with different circumstances breath, have room to flourish without being dragged into this. Even those of whom are smaller sizes seem to be getting dragged down. I'm not small myself; medium, depends on if my health is going well or not. The better my illnesses are, the lower my body weight comes naturally, illnesses on a rampage and it's very difficult to maintain a more comfortable weight range for my personal preferences. I am starting to wonder about the affects of the people who are unnecessarily called out for living their lives to the best of their abilities whilst also being smaller sizes. I feel it's uncalled for just as much as the stuff those of whom are larger have received. I do not know when the line will be drawn. I just wish people would stop tearing other groups apart and everyone come together to support one another no matter the circumstances. I hope my monologue makes sense. It comes from sadness for all. Thankyou for reading and please be kind to yourself and all others.

[@Jayne_Rose]

@@kathrynrhodes7785 Thankyou for the reply. I don't believe I put anything about being condescending in my long message. I did appreciate the read-through of your message, especially as I'm currently a week and a bit away from receiving my coeliac diagnosis/confirmation. I'm aware that the original poster put in about condescending so I'll now assume you meant them.

[@kathrynrhodes7785]

@@Jayne_Rose Oops! I got you confused with the original commenter!! Rachmaninov Oh well. Still in general. People need to grow the fuck up, recognize what they have control over, and stop being whiny little snow flakes. Because someone was “mean”.

[@kathrynrhodes7785]

@@Jayne_Rose You’re likely celiac too?

[@Jayne_Rose]

@@kathrynrhodes7785 All good. Yes, it's very clear that I've got it. I'm still having to go through the procedures again in order to confirm it and allow for further steps to be taken. I originally had the tests done over a decade ago, however they weren't done correctly in the process so I got an inconclusive result that wasn't followed up.

[@mjszy1]

You know people like her always bring up the argument that everyone will die and yet rarely talk about quality of life??? Blood test results don't show joints with pressure put on them or aching back or anything the skeleton is having to deal with from an immense amount of extra weight. The thing that scares me the most is having a hard time breathing just walking up stairs or not be able to go on a long walk because I'm in too much pain in my future. All these people are too focused on trying to convince themselves its all ok right now...

[@thekarategirl5787]

Melanie Murphy (the person she responded to on twitter) had Orthorexia and Binge Eating Disorder. That missing context is kinda important. She's talked about it on her channel and it has presumably shaped her opinions on weight and HAES/fat acceptance/diet culture.

[@JohnsHANtourage]

I never thought fat shaming was okay, but I always had a hard time understanding people who were SO strongly supported body positivity. Not because I disagreed, but because I was GENUINELY curious... like I did NOT feel good being over weight. I didn't have as much energy, I couldn't do things like everyone else, I had to constantly live in fear of my deteriorating health... so I didn't know why anyone would want to stay that way. I loved the idea of loving yourself and caring for yourself, but I was always curious why you wouldn't want to get to a healthier place.

[@fitfatty211]

Not everyone has that experience, though. I’m in my 40s and have been overweight or obese most of my life, but my weight never was an issue for me; I have always been healthy and it never inconvenienced me in any way. In fact, I often wonder if people who complain about their weight and life as a fat person are psychosomatic; that their “problems” are all in their head.

[@JohnsHANtourage]

@@fitfatty211 That's an interesting point. I guess for me, I was in the past, and I can't help but compare the differences and the limitations that the weight brought

[@theoutsiderjess1869]

Same when I was 250 pounds i never subscribed to the fact acceptance movement

[@EFantasic]

I'm only halfway through the video, but this woman is coming off as extremely condescending and I can't tell if she meant to.

[@cindy6094]

She makes me feel like I’m being yelled at for something I didn’t do.

[@EFantasic]

@@cindy6094 Right? If I have a different opinion, it's automatically wrong in her eyes.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

Probably resentment ..definitely resentment

[@oliviasmith1347]

She’s extremely condescending, and bitter.

[@FaceLifeOpenMinded]

I used to watch her when she was on a weight loss journey and then body positivity/fat acceptance became a thing... I had to unsubscribe.

[@GG-kp1hb]

I work in healthcare, one of the phrases that I've read time and time again in charts that puts this whole HAES to bed: "BMI precludes from cardiac transplant"

[@sue4245]

Interesting.

[@vickyoli]

THIS❤️

[@GG-kp1hb]

@@vickyoli seriously people really don't realize that their choices and body comp actually affect candidacy AND risk for life saving intervventions Its so sad By the same token I've followed young transplant patients, that were transplanted despite the risks just to give them a last fighting chance and it did not end well. It's so tragic. Hearts are not meant to do all that work.

[@vickyoli]

@@GG-kp1hb that’s true☹️ kuddos to you to work in this field. I used to be a nurse (now I work in research). I truly don’t understand when people have the choice to become healthier and they don’t take it. Yeah, now you are ok, but if you catch a disease or get older, you will get F up.

[@mewster1818]

The model argument is that laws were passed in multiple countries that models cannot work with an underweight(unhealthy) BMI... I think it's perfectly fair to argue that obese BMIs are equally unhealthy and those models shouldn't get a free pass.

[@alexrobbins4891]

So true! Both are unhealthy so both should be equally treated when it comes to modeling..let's see some healthy people of normal sizes more

[@ivanaaduarte11]

Bmi isn't an indicator of health alone...

[@mewster1818]

@@ivanaaduarte11 I know, but if there are laws classing underweight BMIs as unable to model because they're considered unhealthy, then by the same logic overweight and obese BMIs should face the same ban for the same reason.

[@ivanaaduarte11]

@@mewster1818 I understand what you're saying, but being underweight is something that is almost attached to the model world (and glorified), while being overweight lacks representation. And it is well proven that weight alone has no meaning health-wise (I am taking overweight, not obese or morbidly obese).

[@mewster1818]

@@ivanaaduarte11 While BMI alone is not a predictor of individual health, we know that overweight and obese BMIs do carry significant health risks. Likewise not every underweight person will have issues, but we know that they're much more likely to have issues related to their weight than healthy BMIs. Weight related illnesses do exist, heck plenty of studies do show a consistent correlation of multiple illnesses with weight as the primary, if not only, factor. The whole point of regulating thin models was to push for healthy representations in media, even if fat models do not have the same amount of representation, it's inconsistent to act like they're any different. What you're essentially saying is that you're fine with a double standard when it's against skinny people, but that glorifying fat people(which despite your claims is definitely known to increase your risk for many diseases) is fine just because there are fewer of them.

[@DS-cq6km]

Namaste from,India, Thanx for all the motivation

[@lordzero2379]

Guten Tag, from Germany:)

[@kaetlynbabs6144]

I am so glad I found your channel. It is so refreshing to hear some middle ground when it comes to the health debate. Thank you for helping me feel validated on my journey for self acceptance!

[@rachelmarchant2081]

I was 150 lbs and worked out 5-6 days a week. I went for a physical at the doctors and was told I was over weight based on a height/weight/bmi chart. I was 16 years old and a size 12. That has made me feel "fat" all my life. Enough of all this "fat phobia"!

[@BUJU2007]

I like myself which is why im not ok with being morbidly obese.

[@9CrystalDragon2]

10:45 "death is coming for all of us" that line genuinely angered me. Watching both my parents suffer from Bad health partly brought on by choices they made and how much their mental health has suffered due to their physical illness and ristrictions it gives them. There is more to this than if the diseases you get will kill you. My Motivation for change is not just society but I have Seen first Hand how being over weight and underweight can severly inpact your life, how Angina makes doing simple tasks difficult or how the lack of movement and a Bad diet/lack of food can lead to chronic constipation. They destroy all confidence and social life for a Person and in both these cases it lead to a cycle where they didn't feel like they can improve and their conditions got worse.

[@theywalkinguptoyouand4060]

I understand this. What i dont like is people saying, "oh it's fine if you're obese if you don't care about your health or care about your children" If i said that to a patient, they'd punch me in the face, deservedly so.

[@crystaldollhouse]

d13s31fu3L I agree, I find that really rude!

[@alejandramoreno6625]

during lockdown, my only outside activity is to take the dog out for a walk, a long walk, 5km walk. I started losing weight. I'm not skinny, but I am possibly closer to a healthy BMI ( was a bit over before). Honestly, having a healthy body weight doesn't require hitting the gym for 3 hours a day, it just requires moving more and not eating lots of junk.

[@JessiieB]

I have struggled with my weight since my teens, I had had a pretty bad eating disorder. I’d eat cabbage soup and exercise 6 hrs a day to stay a size zero for years until my body started breaking down. Of course like many other recovering people I swung the other way and gained 100lbs. I definitely felt better being fat than I did being skinny. My health was 10x better being fat than skinny... *however* being that over weight was an issue and I worked my tail off to get back down to a healthy weight. I still struggle daily to not swing one way or the other. So I hate so much when people try and shame me for wanting to lose weight or saying “man I’m getting fat” that’s me trying to remind myself to try harder. It’s my life my body if I want to lose weight it’s no ones business but mine

[@crystaldollhouse]

JessiieB hey just wanted to say that's awesome you got through it and hope you're well

[@Jayne_Rose]

Good on you for keeping up your battle! Eating disorders are a fierce foe; you're a fiercer force to be able to battle both simultaneously. What a powerhouse 💙

[@dd42101]

I think some people are mistaking saying people are valuable people regardless of their weight for saying its good or fine to be unhealthy. I think about it as its fine to advocate for health just don't be a dick about. I have absolutely no idea why people are upset about other people loosing weight. I'd be happy for them that they have achieved their goal. Ablist doesn't always apply with this. I had a problem where medication fucked me up on a major scale and im trying to sort it out 😒 however to be honest this is not an ablist issue in general tbh

[@annann129]

It is ok to be unhealthy-its a problem when people are so empty they have to place value on health..

[@kscrimsh]

So, around the 15 minute mark, I really understand where she’s coming from. Cuz I grew up with thin/fit parents and siblings... I was the only one that struggled with weight in my family. BUT, as you said, it’s important to care about your health. I have fluctuated myself, for over a decade.... but in the end it’s about finding what makes you feel good. Sometimes it doesn’t happen easily. But just care about yourself as well as your loved ones... for your future ❤️❤️❤️

[@cindy6094]

She’s so condescending🙄

[@SkyeBear1]

Considering like she said she literally experiences the same conversation and comments every day, wouldn't you get tired of that too?

[@SkyeBear1]

She literally said she was, I'm just going off of what she said because I'm not in the space to make assumptions out of thin air. She's a fat woman on social media, she probably did get at least a few offhand comments each week.

[@cindy6094]

@@SkyeBear1 Sure, I would be annoyed about that. In fact, in my graduate courses, I had to take “communicating your science” classes so that I can effectively speak about my research with people who blatantly disagree with the science. Ive definitely seen how frustrating is gets to argue something over and over. But she’s arguing her opinions and personal anecdotes as hard facts and it seems like she’s arguing to an audience that she deems moronic. I feel her disdain for me and I have absolutely no issue with her at all. I just disagree with her opinions. You know what I mean?

[@SkyeBear1]

@@cindy6094 and I totally get that. I don't like her delivery and I feel like her using anecdotal and emotional evidence while using blanket statements against what she seems to view as an opponent is pretty rough. I guess all I'm saying is I understand why she comes from a point of frustration. But I would argue that frustration only brews more frustration

[@plumdutchess]

I always had that vibe from her. I feel that's kind of her stance in life.

[@irenechang1967]

I hope she doesn't feel this way anymore. She kept using "I just don't prioritize health like skinny people" as a defense mechanism to lie to herself so she can hide her insecurity. I hope she can be honest with herself.

[@Iwasjustwondering89]

Boy, I love Meghan. She‘s genuinely funny, her music is beautiful, and I’ve been subscribed and actively looked up specific videos of her to rewatch again and again for many, many years. I will never relate to her stance on health at every size. Talks about how her back gives out regularly, but refers to her blood test results to claim health. I really, and I mean this, do not understand how these two things add up in her book.

[@patrickbateman3610]

I actually agree with her comment on "glorifying obesity." It's not "glorifying," it's "normalizing obesity."

[@mewster1818]

I think obesity is already normalized in the US at least. When I first teetered into the obese weight range a few years ago, people would constantly tell me there was "no way" and keep going "but you're still so thin"... because we're just so used to seeing obese people that they honestly did not believe me when I said I was obese. To me that's incredibly dangerous if we can see people everyday and be so used to unhealthy body sizes that we genuinely start labelling obese people as "thin" or just "slightly overweight" or "curvy". My argument that it's glorifying obesity though is because Tess Holliday literally does glorify obesity, the articles about her are all her pushing the agenda that she's completely healthy, that it's completely fine to be her size, all the "haters" are wrong, her life is great and isn't impacted negatively in any way... how is that any different from lauding anorexic models on their figures and their diet and exercise routines? If we're going to have a moral stance against underweight models, then I think it's only equally fair to have the same stance against overweight/obese models.

[@redhammer92]

@@mewster1818 Im 230lbs and am constantly told im not fat. Its mid boggling because i 100% got bullied for being fat for like half my life. I understand i might not be super morbidly obese or anything but damn it would be nice just to fit into one group or the other and not hear the comments from either side.

[@EPIClikeYOURMOTHER]

@@redhammer92 Yes same! I've lost a lot of weight since quarantine and my family which is primarily overweight tells me how small I am now but I'm still 224 lbs. I'm still considered obese for my height and I'm still 60-75 lbs overweight according to my doctor. Like I still have a lot of work to do that some of the people around me are confused by. It sucks lol

[@mewster1818]

@@redhammer92 The thing is a lot of the people who say that stuff are also being very genuine about it too, the idea of what is obese is just heavily distorted for a lot of people.

[@YanickaQuilt]

There is the part that say, "if you are fat you are not worthy of love, compassion, medical care and empathy" and "being over weight is not healthy" . One is horrifying, the other is medical and scientific facts and has nothing to do with one another .

[@Searchin4keys]

Why is that if we don't agree with their opinions it's all the sudden "they have no value/worth" like no you're still a human being, but you could be so much more. If that makes sense. She keeps talking about fat people as a group yet then says we are autonomous and individuals but keep lumping them all into her ideals.

[@starlesspaw]

It’s so nice to hear obesetobeast’s honest takes and convos about being overweight in regard to health rather than like vanity, it’s like such a hugely relatable topic and it’s so refreshing to hear these health-first approaches where he’s not being “anti-fat,” he’s just being truthful about how it can affect someone’s actual physical and mental well-being. And honestly for me, “eat well and exercise so you can go hiking and kayaking without getting tired and no joint or back pain and also it literally is one of the most effective treatments for depression and anxiety” is a WAY better motivator than “lose weight in order to be conventionally attractive” and it’s so nice to finally hear people talking about it. I like to listen to these vids while I’m on my morning jogs to reinforce and get hyped for the benefits of being fit and healthy!!

[@justapersontrying]

I love myself so much I can’t allow myself to keep eating garbage and go about my life with no discipline or self control.

[@Lunicia_the_crazy_healer]

I have to say: when I was at my heaviest (110 kg), I said some of those things too. I hold on to my blood test results, because they were awesome. I rationalized my back pain away, like "oh, I was laying wrong or turning wrong or worked to much". I got offended whenever people told me what they do for their health and/or fitness. And I hated myself and projected it onto other people around me. Having a child did changed my view on things. I wanted to be healthy for my child, I wanted to be a good role model and I wanted to be able to keep up with her physically. I got so heavy because I wasn't taught portion control, I wasn't taught how to eat healthy and because of childhood trauma that made me turn to comfort eating. The shame my family and other people put on me didn't help either. After I started to lose weight and changed my diet to healthier food and worked out, I was able to reflect on the things I thought or said back than. Watching videos like hers makes me sigh and shake my head.

[@teyarose]

I can accept being an ass for my view on this. Growing up, I was slightly overweight (20-30lbs). I thought it was the end of the world. In college, I barely survived a very traumatic event and now I suffer with PTSD. Since then and the following fallout over the last 6 years, I've doubled in weight (+120lbs). I KNOW that with a normal mental state and left to my own devices, I live a relatively healthy life and my body will average slightly overweight. No random aches/pains, no insomnia, no exhaustion, no depression, no overheating or excessive sweating, and enjoying whatever foods I want but craving healthy whole foods as often as I crave junk and sweets. I also know that I will probably never be completely back to normal. All the therapy and meds in the world cannot cure me, but they sure as hell can help if I work really, really hard. I can get my head above the water enough to have some normality back. No one is going to live a happy, healthy, fulfilling lifestyle and become obese. If you're binge eating or emotional eating or craving only comfort foods, there is something wrong. I started therapy, started medications, started sleeping regularly, started going on a 20 minute walk outside everyday, and I noticed I lost weight. I noticed I hadn't binged in a while. I noticed I was actually feeling full from a meal instead of empty. Then I ignored my mental health and where did that leave me? Suicidal and up 80lbs. Mental health was and is my biggest issue. It is a constant struggle but the most important one that people tend to ignore. I see body positive women who are grasping at every straw they can find to ignore the fact that there is something deeply wrong they need to solve within themselves. Blaming the world and claiming everything is ok with them is just avoidance. I've been on both sides if this. I've been the fit/attractive girl, I've been the bloated bikini girl, I've been the morbidly obese girl. I've hated my body in ever iteration. I've loved my body in every iteration. Just as I feel that one person's trauma doesn't invalidate another's, one person's body inside struggles do not invalidate anyone else's. To think others don't have a right because you have it worse is self centered and shows a lack of tolerance and acceptance.

[@NekoAiray]

It really pisses me off when the main arguments are "I´m obese and my tests are good" and "I feel good so I must be healthy". Those things applied to me until I got into my twenties but let me tell you science doesn´t lie when it comes to the dangers of obesity and the benefits of being an actual healthy weight.

[@mewster1818]

Also not to be mean, but I know for me personally I didn't realise how bad I felt physically UNTIL I lost weight. If your baseline for forming an opinion has only ever been based off being obese, then your "feel good" is skewed. That's not to say losing weight will solve everything, or even necessarily help everyone, I just know for me personally I did not realise how tired, cranky, and achy I was until I improved my lifestyle and started losing weight.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

Yeah wait till they hit their 40s. Also those test don't account for joint mobility and potential diseases. Anywho.who wants to leave life on the edge worrying about the next test might be trouble for you

[@wweandy123]

That was always my excuse too "my bloodwork comes out fine so I'm fine". A few months ago at 24, I am now pre diabetic with a fatty liver and high cholesterol. Now I literally have zero excuse not to take care of myself. You don't even have to wait until you're in your late 30's or 40's to see your health deteriorate.

[@fitfatty211]

@@NextLevelOnlineCoaching I’m in my 40s, overweight, and my tests have always been good. My *doctor* tells me that I’m healthy and to “keep up the good work.” I’ve also never had joint problems, even though I am an avid runner 🏃🏻‍♀️ and hiker. Every body is different; some of us can maintain good health, even at a larger size.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

@@fitfatty211 That's awesome! You're like the unique case Ive heard in a long time. Are you overweight by BMI standards? height & weight? If you're below 170lbs but have a great strength foundation or experience that make senses. I think you are an outlier in this situation. From my experience X-athletes or endurance fitness enthusiast that are overweight(according to bmi) are very unique cases. I'm even classified as overweight, I gained a lot of injuries in the past and that is decreasing drastically as I'm being more mindful of my weight, movement, activity selection. I understand there will be an infliction point for all of us, where we will be losing muscle mass and mobility at a rapid rate. I do feel lighter at 203lb vs 216lbs. I also train on and off with a 30-50lbs weight vest( no jumping) and gravity sucks. I've also made mistakes in the past and used 80lb weight vest and it caused muscle gains but also tendon strains. ( I stay at 30lb weight vest now) I mentioned 40s because that when it typical kicks off. From business perspective: The majority and target demographics of fitness boutique/small studios clients/members has been : women, 35-50yr.

[@LegalVampire]

I almost clapped at what you said about ableism. Thank-you, you’re such an important & necessary voice in the weightloss and body positivity space.

[@crystaldollhouse]

I feel you interpreted some of the things she said differently than I did towards the end, I have a few thoughts on some points! 28:15 Maybe I missed it but I didn't hear her shame anyone who does want to lose weight. She pointed out earlier, the double standard that thin people are often assumed to be living healthy by society where fat people will be assumed unhealthy, regardless of what 'healthy' things they may or may not be doing at that time. Fat people are often treated as if they are never doing enough, where thin people will often not be questioned. She said she believes everyone knows themselves best, and I would think she does mean that for everyone regardless of size and if they want to lose weight or not 29:30 when she said this about being on Ellen, all I think she meant is that she did something great regardless of her weight, that people don't need to feel like they should be thin before they can do things in life (which is a pressure I'm sure many, if not most fat people have felt). About being a role model - I think she meant that just because she's larger doesn't mean she can't be one, as people had told her she couldn't be because of her weight. She's pointing out people can be a role model in other ways regardless of weight I don't think you had any bad intentions here, but since you said you thought she would equate losing weight to hating yourself (which I don't think she said, just that it is common for overweight people to hate themselves in the society we live in) that influenced some of your reactions at the end I hope I made sense there. I don't normally make big comments, but I felt I could offer another perspective. For reference, I am a larger person in the process of losing weight (down about 30lbs)

[@Jayne_Rose]

For most of the video I got that sense too. There were some things that came across to me as a bit off, I just don't think she was always great at conveying her point well and at other times went a little to far in trying to give examples. I am under the impression that what she's trying to convey is one side of this complex battle that's occurred in regards to peoples lives and sizes. I have personally chosen to hear and acknowledge the main underlying case she's putting forward on behalf of that very specific part of this whole body battle while being wary of the parts where I personally felt she overstepped or just unintentionally got things a bit off in regards to the whole debate at hand. I think her intentions were good in regards to opening up about her mindset and giving a voice to a portion of people and their past experiences. I just hope she continues to develop and come together to acknowledge and perhaps even ease up on others who are walking different paths of life such as a model having a burger.

[@crystaldollhouse]

Jayne Rose thanks for your reply! 😊

[@Jayne_Rose]

@@crystaldollhouse You're welcome, thankyou for your voicing your take on the video. Keep up the hard work in your goals. Cheering you on with lots of love. 💙

[@crystaldollhouse]

Jayne Rose that's so sweet, thanks so much!!

[@ripleysigningoff1231]

I agree and had some of the same thoughts. The part about "fat" people being assumed to be unhealthy, no matter what they do, but thin people, vice versa, really hit home to me!

[@skrimph]

I have a suspicion that this is the main sticking point for identify politics generally speaking. The idea that, “you cannot possibly know or understand my experience because you don’t possess the correct identity markers” I don’t think is true, helpful, or compassionate.

[@Backie232]

I'm barely overweight according to the BMI chart, but I already have side effects of excess weight like aching joints and bad back pain, because of chronic issues I've had since birth. These get worse the more I weigh, and with just an excess 10 lbs I'm already in quite a lot of pain (I'm short so that doesn't help) . People keep telling me that I don't need to lose weight because I don't look overweight, but nobody understands that my skeleton can't handle it lol. I think I'm body positive because I've come to accept the shortcomings of my body, but losing that 10 lbs is also part of that.

[@moviecats_]

As a computer nerd, I can’t hear “ex-fat” without thinking of exFAT, the file system for formatting flash drives lol 🤓.

[@NextLevelOnlineCoaching]

Lots of contradiction within her statements. First she says she can't speak for all fat people than says deflects when a few people say she at risk. " I don't want to show test results but I will just to let you know you can be healthy " Then she goes on talking .Health is what we all should strive for.. I think what she fails to understand is that she made a decision to be " Fat activist". Health or Wealth or Family or Adventure are values. We all should work on making improvements in these areas because they will MAKE US HAPPIER. We are all striving for happiness correct? I know the probability of me being a billionaire is very low compared to being a millionaire. Same logic can apply to health. Weight loss is one tactic to become healthier. Because the law of physics exist if you are obese you are physically not sustainable for the long term. Should she and other fat people have been treated differently in the pass? Yes, we are all learning from our mistakes and due to hyper connectedness of our Internet era. But when you take a stance and strong offensive position of telling fat people shouldn't lose weight, you are convincing thousands that's its ok. All these activists are still young...wait till they hit there late 40s. WOULD YOU WAIT TO INVEST IN YOUR WEALTH WHEN YOU HIT 40???

[@GraceWhip]

As a person with chronic illnesses, I always strive for health. I'm never going to be the Epitome of Human Evolution, but damn I'm enjoying being able to reduce joint pain and overwhelming nausea by changing my diet. I'm also enjoying my nutrition being on point because I'm able to like...actually recover from illnesses.

[@alskarmode]

Ironic that she gives all these resources to help people think like her but doesn’t give the light of day to someone else who thinks differently than her. She’s so hypocritical it’s mind blowing

[@texpra_]

‘That’s ableist’ - dude I’m disabled (autoimmune disorder) and that’s why I’m working so hard to lose the weight and be as healthy as I can be, why would I make the situation even worse for myself 🤦🏻‍♀️ the healthier I am generally the less likely it is that my condition will mess me up even worse.

[@abeltesfaye_]

I had screws put into my hip bc I was obese and a rare side effect of my weight is that my the ball of my hip bone was only hanging on by a tendon. Most people would have used this as an excuse to stop exercising but I became a long distance runner and lost 50lbs. Then in 2018, I had a total hip replacement surgery and couldn't run anymore. However I've replaced that cardio with other forms of cardio and walking and have since lost over 25lbs since March 5th of this year. I still have 42lbs to loose but I'm staying strong! We can do a lot more than we think we can. Also I was in a wheelchair for a year and still take chronic pain meds daily bc I have herniated discs and my total hip replacement is loosening as we speak. However telling me to workout is NOT abelist 🙄

[@cindy6094]

Most of what she’s saying doesn’t ring true to reality... not the reality I live in. She ignores so many things to come to her conclusions. Like the thinner model eating pizza... there’s context. You explain it well.

[@manuelusg]

I’m not obese yet but I am overweight and have started experiencing sleep apnea and generally lower quality of sleep. The added weight makes it harder for me to get comfortable (side sleeper). Wanting to lose a few pounds is not hating myself, it’s loving myself enough to make some changes.

[@MeowMeow-sy2mi]

I'm disabled.... and I still do what I can every day to be healthy! I'm also fat and if I lose weight, I will be health-ier. I can control that! I can't control my mental illness, physical health issues etc. But I can control my weight, blood pressure, cholesterol etc with diet changes

[@JoeKerr1492]

She should just say that she hates healthy, active people and wants them gassed. That's the way she's acting, as if what other people do with their bodies is her business.

[@xersys]

14:30 the difference between a skinny person eating what they want and a fat person eating what they want is thousands of calories... it’s literally calories in vs calories out. If you’re fat, it’s because you are putting too many calories in. How does she still not get this?

[@ripleysigningoff1231]

I think you're the one who doesn't get it. You have no idea what either person is doing during the rest of their time. You just ASSUME you know because one has more body fat.

[@xersys]

@@ripleysigningoff1231 And that assumption is based on SCIENCE. Body weight is directly equal to the amount of calories you eat. There is no other magic attribute for obesity outside of a rare birth defect which almost nobody actually has. If you're morbidly obese, it's because you eat too much and don't exercise enough. If you want to be fat, and are happy being fat, congratulations, but pretending that there is some invisible fat virus floating round magically making people fat is ignorant of reality.

[@lilialotus8115]

I’ve been a fan of yours for years...but I feel like her points are being misunderstood or deliberately distorted. Either by you or your audience. She’s not saying “anyone who wants to lose weight hates themselves”, she’s saying that fat people aren’t given the same treatment in society that a thin person is. Our accomplishments are in a way, ‘tainted’ by being obese or even just a little chubby so it’s not all just about health. Some if it’s image. People assume things about fat people. I’d argue that the way society constantly makes us feel like we should be ashamed of eating (at all, not just unhealthily) makes us more likely to get depressed and binge eat in private. It’s still a choice to do that of course, but the social stigma of being fat makes a lot of us socially retreat and that in turn makes binge eating worse. There was a point she made about being on Ellen at 300+ pounds that I don’t think you understood. She basically wants fat people and fat kids to see that they CAN accomplish things and achieve success. That they don’t need to lose weight to be happy, or lose weight to be successful. They don’t have to put their dreams on hold and ‘fix’ their body before being viewed by the public. Society often tells fat people the exact opposite. Understanding her points doesn’t mean I think losing weight is ‘bad’. Even if you’re changing the way you look because you want to *look better* and not for any immediate health problems. That’s still valid and I think it’s good reason to work out and change eating habits. The assumption that she’s saying everyone who loses weight is bad is kind of dishonest. I think the communication gap between a lot of the people in the body positivity movement and everyone else can be explained by hurt. Fat women are deeply hurt by the way society treats us, and we *expect* to be mocked and ridiculed for our weight. We *expect* to be called lazy and reckless for not detailing our diet plans to any strangers that ask...its frustrating so Tonjes and people like her are extremely defensive about issues pertaining to weight. That’s why they come off preachy condescending to a lot of you. I get why...I just don’t think she said anything too sensational here. She listed those creators because she wants to support them and she likes their work. Not because she wants people to be just like her. Just had to say all that. Sorry for the essay.

[@swankycab6170]

The issue here is how ludicrously, comically overstated these struggles are. She is literally comparing being overweight to being trans or black, and I'm sorry but there just is no comparison whatsoever. Until you have to worry about leaving your house as a fat person because you might get beaten or killed unprovoked, they are not the same.

[@katelynmarie424]

THIS!

[@lilialotus8115]

@@swankycab6170 That was a bit hyperbolic sure, but that’s not the only point she made. She’s not completely off the mark though. I’m both black and fat and I know that being one or the other is less likely to result in negative experiences than just being in one of those categories. Society undervalues and harms both types of people to different degrees, but it’s still a problem. People sometimes water down their infants formula because they don’t want them to be fat, which can kill them. Fat people often have major medical issues looked overlooked like cancer, or MS because doctors default to telling us to lose weight instead of testing us. My grandfather was prescribed amphetamines for weight loss, and we’re pretty sure they contributed to his eventual heart attack and death. Hypothyroidism is a major reason why weight loss requires medical assistance for some. I’ve had nodules on mine since adolescence. People can’t always afford that assistance and that will eventually end in death for them. The problems that affect fat people in society aren’t exactly as traumatic and violent as racial or gender based violence. But the temptation to play oppression olympics is irresistible to both sides of the issue from what I’ve seen. I know that people on that side tend to have a bit of a persecution complex, but she made other really good points throughout the vid that were twisted or just not understood.

[@christinaishere1]

When that lady finally crashed into reality it’s going to hurt. Self love should be someone trying to be as healthy as they can be. Most of us will never be perfect but we can strive to be better. I’ve lost a lot of weight this year and I’m so sad I waited until I was in my 50’s to do it. I feel amazing and enjoy life so much more. I’ve wasted so many years. I hate hearing people like this living in denial. And dragging others down with them. Loving yourself really is being good to yourself and to be good to your physical self is putting in good nutrition and moving. It just is. Even if you have things wrong you can be as healthy as you can be.

[@annakarenina3378]

Obesity affects all of us in this country. All the food we’re wasting, all the healthcare resources and money that is spent, all the struggles our children have to go through because their parents don’t teach them how to be healthy, all the soldiers that can’t join the military or effectively protect our country, all the productivity lost at work, etc. As a stranger on the internet, I can still feel annoyed about obese people refusing to try to get better.

[@AKbaby89]

I am disabled from Stage 4 Endometriosis, and I could not agree with you more about the ableist stuff. I pray every single day of my life, that there will SOMEDAY be an option for me to not be sick. Every single day. Literally.

[@SessKo]

I have been watching some content critiquing fat acceptance because I think there are things to be critiqued in that sphere. But the thing I can't get past is that I ultimately agree with Megan that there are periods in people's lives and contexts people exist in where weightloss/maintenance is not the top priority. There are a lot of situations where it makes more sense to prioritize other things over weightloss/ maintenance. Also why does perfect health need to be the ultimate goal? Is our purpose to live as long as possible in the most optimally functioning body? You can say it is selfish/privileged not to prioritize your health when some struggle with their health. But that's your opinion and your judgement. Everyone has a right to make a plethora of choices that affect their body in a variety of ways including risk taking behaviour, where we live, how we travel, eat, maintain our hygiene, exercise, sleep, rest, manage stress and emotions, make body modifications etc. So while we should be realistic about the risks of obesity and extra fat, I don't think it is everyone's duty to be as healthy as they possibly can be at all times. And I don't see why unhealthy and/or fat bodies should be stigmatized and hidden from the media.

[@ripleysigningoff1231]

Yes!! Thank you for saying what I was thinking! I'm a pretty healthy 41 year old and will probably live to be in my 80s, but also probably overweight my entire life. So what?? Does that mean I'm wasting my life? No, I contribute to society in other more important ways then just being as "fit as I can be."

[@PutteWalther]

Well the “us vs them” she is using isnt helping anyone... 🤭 We are all people, all worthy and entitled to have a body without getting hate towards it ... I know - a very Hakuna matata oppinion..🤗

[@iluvgir12390]

I feel like Megan is angry about fat community being judge but, then judges a model for eating a burger it seems like she is a hypocrite. I think a big problem in the model community is skipping meals and anorexia or could even make someone have a food disorder. If you don't want to be judged you shouldn't judge other people.

[@tonjes]

Glad you enjoyed the video :)

[@marissasmith1346]

Lol they be scared to comment 🙄

[@ham90]

That's all you got?

[@marthaglover7650]

Scared of what? Not every comment is worth responding to. 😁😁😁

[@marissasmith1346]

Martha Glover typically with social Media people do go after for argument sooo 🤷🏼‍♀️ I mean you’re kinda proving my point 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@marissasmith1346]

Martha Glover glad you deemed mine as worth it tho.

[@popstarprincess123]

Wow i am amazed she was in the body positivity movement and never came across the thin hatred or the everyone should be fat to make me feel better or my favorite ignoring eating disorders (remember Tess said she had one) They compare losing weight to murder and not murder of a whole person no no murder of a fat body like they stop being human

[@saraangel6696]

I was diagnosed with high blood pressure... it’s called “the silent disease” because people assume that the only way to say “you are healthy” is with BLOOD work.... high blood pressure is not diagnosed with blood work, it’s diagnosed by taking your blood pressure (two high readings in a short period of time is enough to diagnose you). And yeah, my lab work is fine, but i still got the recommendation of watching my sugar intake because i am close to the higher healthy limit, and i need to up my “good” cholesterol by a few points because a low “good” cholesterol level could contribute to a higher risk for heart disease, and so on. A single value does not tell you ANYTHING because it depends on everything else!!! I hate the “my lab work is good” argument for saying “healthy at every size”, because it is just NOT TRUE! If your joints hurt, it’s not healthy. If you wake up with your extremities numb, it is not healthy. If you can hardly stand standing up for an hour is not healthy, if you are hyper fixated in what the other person looks like so you can call them “normative” and hate on them for not being fat like you or for not getting hate comments like you do, IT IS NOT HEALTHY. And yes, i am obese, i weigh 105kg, i am 5’3, i believed these assh*les for a while, but not anymore, now i am PISSED. Oh, and if i want to lose weight, it is MY body and it is MY choice, much like with a lot other topics. I am not fatphobic for wanting to lose weight, just as i am not brunettephobic for wanting to dye my hair freaking purple.

[@p.a4459]

I like megan sass, but i feel she's at the victim mental state (related to weight). She can lose weight, and that is fucking hard, but not imposible. I think she feels angry at it, and I understand it, as a fat woman i know it feels that it is not fair, and you are right. But it isss what it isss, life is not fair. She doesnt need to lose weight for other people. just for herself and only if she wants it. i just want her to make that desicion knowing that you sacrifice years of life and cuality of life.

[@ericaholmes8398]

Reading about everyone's achievements warms my heart. I wish everyone here many good days

[@KitsCreations1998]

As somebody who is chronically Ill with a syndrome that has no cure and the only thing I can do is manage pain with narcotics? Yeah that "I could be healthy if I wanted to but meh I dont wanna" fucking HURTS. I've gone to doctors and doctors and doctors with this issue and that issue just for them to tell me there's nothing they can do about it. On thar subject; you know what else sucks? How quickly obese people can get permanent disability benefits for something if they put the effort in could be fixed... And I'm 4 years deep into fighting for it for something I literally can't do anything to make better. Ugh.

[@makeitcount2985]

If people know themselves best why do they become anorexic or obese? People don't always know what's best for them, look at drug addicts... Etc...

[@Bellethiele]

She judges and assumes a lot about thin/normal size people, for someone who's so against judgement and assumptions.

[@elizabethallen4353]

It's sad that a movement that started out so well intentioned is getting so warped.

[@NYCWoman]

Are you familiar with the KZbin channel Edyn Loves Life? It would be great if you interviewed her. I believe her outlook is extremely positive and healthy.

[@aoifeturnbull9965]

I just don’t understand how people don’t see that body positivity SHOULD be for everyone. Because someone is overweight may struggle, but this is equally to how a person who is normal weight may feel self conscious of a scar or have bdd, or someone who is underweight dislike the way their bones show! There are struggles for everyone!

[@MrDucktastic]

24:20 - I felt like I was listening to the Alex Jones of Body Positivity. Like.... whaaaa? There isn't an insidious conspiracy working against fat people.

[@JoeKerr1492]

The only conspirator there is gravity

[@ripleysigningoff1231]

Actually there is. It's called marketing. They also thrive on people with low self esteem, body insecurities, etc. They sell makeup, diet pills, detoxes, and plastic surgery. If everyone were happy with themselves the way they are, they would make no $$.

[@MrDucktastic]

​@@ripleysigningoff1231 Marketing isn't a secret and it's also not that organised either. All these companies throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. Just happens there is a lot of people interested in get-thin-quick schemes much the same way as there's a lot of people who like food. And if you want to group an entire industry, marketing is targeting anyone with a wallet. Not just fat people. "They" market you Big Macs, gym equipment, 3XL joggers and green tea extract as diet pills. "They" don't care who they're selling to. You are right about marketing thriving on the demand created by body insecurities. But I would suggest self image issues start earlier than that - social interaction at school. Social circles. Being rejected because you're fat etc. The human need to belong has existed long before we invented botox and I don't think marketing helped shaped our evolution as a species - "they" just exploit it. And boiling it all down and making a complex issue into a conspiracy is not how you go about tackling the subject. I just don't think adopting a siege mentality is a healthy substitute for low self esteem.

[@Jay-bw8ye]

I didnt hate myself when I was fat because of society I hated myself because I looked and felt awful, being fat made it harder to do basic shit in my life. I've completely changed my lifestyle for the better and I've never been happier after losing weight

[@Mae_today]

I just started sharing my 100lb weight loss story here on KZbin and your channel popped up. Loving your content. It’s been really interesting to me to see how my view on being overweight has changed from when I was overweight to now. It’s hard for me to not want to motivate others to want to lose weight because it has been SO life changing for me. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy and be able to live their best lives! It’s okay to want to be healthy and more comfortable in clothes and around others.

[@Jayne_Rose]

Subscribed and cheering you on 💙🙏

[@Mae_today]

Awe thanks girl!

[@Adamimmune]

It really comes down to the fact that some people have chronic victim mentality and some people are heroes..

[@Kam_i_]

john pls drop the bg music its so calming and pretty!

[@AliceHindman]

I have a long history or anorexia but also go into extreme binge phases too. So I know that anorexia is way different than wanting to lose weight. My father in law has severe anorexia; way more severe than I have ever had, his BMI is around 13 or 14 most of the time. And they lived with us during the pandemic. My mother in law enables his behavior and helps him sneak food into the trash and he puts whatever he feels uncomfortable eating on her plate for her and he threatens suicide if people want to address the issue. She snapped at me for showing concern saying I am not a doctor and he is very healthy (because he eats veggies mainly and veggies are healthy and he works out a lot and exercise is healthy) and I like to make them seem bad and only want to focus on the bad when it is none of my business. And most people look at him for a second and know he has an eating disorder, it isn’t a question. He is so weak he can’t do basic things. For example they traveled internationally for months to see us and only brought 2 small suitcases because he is too weak to pull one and my mother in law could only handle 2 on her own. I still love them and do not think they are bad but seeing him in that state crushes my heart especially having gone through it to a lesser extent and just recently being healthy the last few years myself. I used to drink bouillon water for every meal with one apple and granola bar as a big meal once a day and do a 2 hour cardio workout daily on top of that but slowly because I was weak. I literally snapped at a gym employee for telling me to go home and change my salty shoes during winter because I knew I couldn’t come back if I left and the thought of missing my workout made me feel dread and panicked like I was going to die. I think morbidly obese people don’t understand how soul crushing it is to see someone you love do something so unkind to their health. If I tried to defend his or my previous behaviors as healthy people would know better. I had healthy blood work and vitals at my worst anorexia and my father in law used to but no longer does. The doctor is extremely worried about him but he refuses to agree his weight is the cause of his poor health. You can live with an eating disorder and look healthy for a while but eventually a doctor will tell you that you are in the brink of death. My husband has gotten calls saying to come back home and see his dad because he might die before he gets the chance otherwise. What you eat and your habits matter whether you are anorexic or morbidly obese.

[@bgl4329]

Thank god he said I swear in his Tess holiday video people had a hard time understanding that being transgender or POc etc. Is not the same thing

[@wordswithmaranda9055]

I think it’s very strange that she used that model as an example of lack of negative comments when the model she used is a famous plus sized model.

[@analea-plaza3482]

About what she is saying, about thin people that say they don't do diets, etc....Bc usually when a thiner person say that they eat what they want, they mean vegetables, protein, healthy snacks, and sometimes something a bit unhealthier, watching portions. Not a muckbang of junk food... Portion size is so underrated...

[@FaultedMaria]

I really got the impression that you “typecast” her early on (maybe from her tone? It came across as sort of condescending to me) and then didn’t really try to listen to or understand what she was saying after that. Like at the very end, around when she mentioned being on Ellen while still at her highest weight, she was referring to the very real and common experience of fat people feeling like they have to be obsessed with their weight and their bodies and are not “allowed,” in a sense, to participate in life or cannot achieve anything meaningful unless and until they reach a “normal” weight. This is why she brought up her achievement of being on Ellen while quite overweight. I have certainly felt this way, only this year starting to overcome that false belief, so definitely was deep in that feeling in 2018 when this video came out. I didn’t just “invent” the idea that I wasn’t really allowed to participate in life until losing weight, either. It was very societally influenced.

[@crystaldollhouse]

Faulted Maria I was wondering if anyone else got that impression, I felt the same and made a similar comment about that point. He had the impression she thought losing weight means you hate yourself but I didn't hear her say that. I think it's very common to feel like you can't participate in life while overweight, I definitely felt that societal pressure myself

[@victoriat5103]

I come from a family with several severely chronically ill people. Part of my motivation to get healthy, and yes lose weight, was because I feel like I have no right NOT to take full care and advantage of the good health base that I do have.

[@raaid22]

I think people like her delude themselves into thinking any struggle, or criticism they have is because people are prejudice about their size. no, not at all. it sounds like she uses her weight as a way to brush off any critiscm, regardless of what is has to do with her weight.

[@manicshoutout8968]

yo dude, at 20:12 you're making a point that has actually been shown to be caused by things like facebook and youtube algorithms. if you watch documentaries like The Social Dilemma or Screened Out (for example; these are on netflix and so easily accessible), you can see what I mean. things like political and social polarisation happen because people get pulled into feedback loops or so called 'youtube holes' where they're just watching or listening to other people who agree with them, and such their views develop into more and more extreme versions because they never see any evidence against their own arguments. things like this are, imho, what drive movements like HAES or even conspiracy theory groups like flat earthers. but that's just mho.

[@lisajackson9431]

The laughter at 6:57 really pissed me off. There was nothing funny about that statement.

[@motherelephant5537]

I'm sure it's difficult to feel attacked, but she's right about seeing thin people "get away with" stretches of unhealthy behavior and feeling so frustrated with the double standard. I'm 5'5'' and my first number on the scale is a 1 and I really empathize with many of the statements she is making. She is making sense. Especially about the ability issues. I have birth defects and injuries that make activity very very painful. And so many times, thin people say things that basically equate to, "Why aren't you overcoming your adversity? Why aren't you thinner?? Why don't you play thru the pain???" When I know they don't face the same things I do. It feels very tone deaf, inconsiderate, and ignorant. I'm very happy you were able to face your issues with food and choose to get to what you think of as healthy. It's really wonderful that you have stuck with it. But standing there saying online "I did it, it's possible, why aren't you doing what I did?" Is just not it.

[@maxwellmediainc]

13:24 didn’t she just say she was making and umbrella statement ??

[@Brandon-a-writer]

how can you build the strawiest strawman and still fail to take it down. eeshh, assuming everyone is just out to hate people for no reason but their weight. :/