Why I Decided To Detransition - Maria Witlof

[@MariaWitlof]

Thanks for having me Melody! ❤ I was looking forward to chatting with you that i got nervous 😂

[@melodyrachel]

haha nah you look and sound great! Thanks for coming on :)

[@shombela2]

So much to ponder here...1) Firstly your guest's courage to withstand restrictive stereotypes, both within her adoptive family, and layer within the trans community. ..2) the reminder of what a gift it is when one is offered a sense of belonging and unconditional acceptance. Great interview- thanks to you both!

[@melodyrachel]

This is so true. Our need to belong is such a core human need. Thanks for engaging and I’m glad you enjoyed the episode 😊

[@aevanhoutte]

Super gesprek-bedankt, Maria om je meningen te delen!

[@Sunnydreamer1470]

I really enjoyed being a tomboy in the 60’s . I didn’t get a dysphoria problem from it but if I was given a chance to change my weird child self to a boy I might have gone for it. Thank God it wasn’t talked about.

[@melodyrachel]

I do hear a lot of people say this if I’m honest. Also a lot of stories I read from young people it seems to be about not fitting the gender roles.. I’m keen to interview some more transgender people in order to understand their perspective better :)

[@normanicole4714]

And im actualky and truely trans. People like myself being hidden from me almost destroyed me.

[@OchoMangos]

Thanks for sharing this interview! I appreciate your honesty about your experiene @mariawitlof, i've had a very similar one myself (also a female adoptee, also reconnected with bio fam, congrats to you!) and related a lot to your story. Glad to know I'm not the only queer person that thinks/feels this way! Having different opinions doesn't automatically make someone x-phobic, and not being allowed to express one's opinion doesn't allow for full conversation exploring the topic. I 100% agree with you that there is a connection with being neurodivergent and gender dysphoria. I've been on low does T for a little over a year and am SO glad I never increased despite my endo asking me. I found a good psychiatrist, was diagnosed with ADHD, got back in talk therapy, and worked on my-self acceptance. Now it's a year later my gender dysphoria is mostly gone! Wonderful video, happy for you Maria!

[@melodyrachel]

Thanks for tuning in 🙏 I’m glad you found some value out of this conversation :)

[@MariaWitlof]

It always feels nice to recognize yourself in the story of another woman doesn't it? I'm happy you enjoyed the convo and that you're making lots of steps towards healing! I don't know about you but being adopted is a huge trauma for me... Wish you all the best!❤

[@salvolondon]

Being separated from the biological family plays a big part in huge identity crisis . Children shouldn’t be separated from their parents unless it’s a danger for their life . Adoption , like surrogacy , is a big buisness , too many “professionals “ feed on children’s skin .

[@MariaWitlof]

🎯

[@dyoung1492]

This might be a sweeping generalisation. As an adopted child, yes there are issues of abandonment. Adoption in the UK does not incur any financial transaction so money was never involved (when I was adopted in the 60s) and my adoption was into an ordinary working class family. Though I don't disagree with the identity issue you present and I always felt different but I never felt I was the opposite sex but maybe it's because I am from a very different generation.

[@emmabrooker166]

Maria your articulacy and openness about this are a gift ♥️

[@MariaWitlof]

Thanks Emma ❤

[@jm162]

Very interesting chat Melody and Maria! I totally support your position Maria - connecting with womanhood in a healthy way, therapy, support FIRST before transition which is an extreme form of conversion...all the best!

[@melodyrachel]

thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this interview!

[@jm162]

@@melodyrachel I did indeed! You are good at it and Maria was very interesting...

[@melodyrachel]

@@jm162 thank you 😃

[@apab9700]

Such a touching story of her meeting her mom and connecting with her walk. ❤

[@melodyrachel]

Totally ❤

[@selbst105]

this is really a good question! it became physical - where did/ do all this start woth stereotype views from people, put on children or comes it form something internal? this interview, for me, gives the hint it comes absolutely from the outside - stereotype views - and they are put on us. and i want to say: i don't like all the "psychic disorders" at all and that they are put in this too. sorry, but most 10,11,12 year old are healthy children. also when maria talks about herself in this age, it seems to me that way. this is a age where problems begin to develope, which are captured then with the "diagnoses, symptoms" later. i also do not accept terms like adhd, autism... they became also constructs of politics, where nobody has a glimpse anymore what this really is or should be. similiar to "gender dysphoria". and this was a problem of psychological disorder terms in history. it is connected to "moral" views. .. and so on. ......... like i said: when i t gets complicated, i get off.

[@StelleenBlack]

Tom boys have existed for a long time. It's a shame when women are forced into a box with a label on it.

[@melodyrachel]

Bring back the tomboy 🤙

[@ebr7774]

Trans people have existed for all of history. It is a shame that people don’t want them to live. Let women be “tomboys” and trans people be themselves? No trans person wants to push anybody in any box, quite the opposite.

[@normanicole4714]

Tom boys are still around. Its a seperate thing than trans.

[@selbst105]

hello! i am not in the "transgender and against - fight". when the infos get more than simple i do not understand anything. i like the point or find it very interesting, maria saying the stereotype views on gender were put on her as child in a way. this is a clear simple thing i can handle. i thank maria for sharing this little but important point! that is interesting and could be true, i think. that is what could have happened to us as children. that also means that it is not really our own problem, the "gender problem", but from the people who put it on us. family, people, near standing by persons. how great and simple in a way! this is really the point, the "gender problem" is not my problem (not a problem within my person). and i really feel it that way. so this is why i say i am not in the "transgender and against" - fight. i do not like all that! i also think, it is more simple and easier to view and express it this way "not a problem within myself at all" the whole "gender and transgender problem" than to find arguments against transgender (and transgenderactivism) and gender problem and to build up an opposition against it. this makes the fight even longer. i am lesbian. just wanted to mention. i visit csds. i am from germany. (sorry for language mistakes!) greets to both of you and thank both of you for your open, human talking. :* this is what i am looking for and what i like.

[@melodyrachel]

I've responded to all these comments above - sorry its taken so long to reply

[@selbst105]

@@melodyrachel no problem, thanks for your reply!

[@w.urlitzer1869]

some transitioners are just fine.

[@rissahoo]

Sounds very similar to my own childhood experience except that I was never pressured to be more feminine. Also, I think my personal experience helps me understand why people are trans even though I am non-binary without being trans.

[@feather6508]

I used to say that I prefer to be a boy, i even went around to tell... but that feeling change In time... my friend also, she whas more specific... she wanted the boy body parts when she whas lidle... also growed out off it... Many people go true a identity, where do you find yourself, also the stereotypical expectations off the invirement might play a roll, sometimes I think some got stuck somehow.. somewhere.. How mutch I would love to have the perfect body, I would never damage it...there are people out there truely strugle life/fighting to live with misformed bodyparts and being as happy as can. And I with al my bodyparts working perfectly... rarely get sick... would never let someone cut in me or start taking pills... risking potentiaal health problems, i never had or should have iff i did. You must hate yourself, risking that... i prefer working on loving the good things about my body. Beautifull interview.❤

[@melodyrachel]

Thank you for sharing. I definitely feel like everybody’s experience is different but it’s good to get these perspectives out there for sure. I’m glad you enjoyed it, thanks for watching 🙏

[@luthor24127]

Best of luck because this person was where I was years ago and I didn't manage to fix it with soul searching or trying to fit into womanhood.

[@chrisellis4400]

When I was a kid I really liked 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. After some time I was convinced by those around me that 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' was a bad influence that promoted violence. I was even interviewed by a local radio station and I condemned 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' as being the cause of societal violence. I argued that the cartoon show caused other kids to emulate violence. Looking back on life I realise that I was always pro-'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' it's just that the people I knew as a kid convinced me to believe that the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' were the cause of all of societies problems.

[@melodyrachel]

Interesting

[@Keurgui1]

What the fuck does this have to do with anything

[@normanicole4714]

​@@Keurgui1everything. Trans people are the TMNT.

[@lizadeeza]

Her Queer "Community" sounded culty - totally conditional acceptance.

[@melodyrachel]

It seems to be the ones who promote "inclusivity" the loudest are the least inclusive ones.. smh

[@thomasrussell4674]

Yes conditional, that's the problem.

[@selbst105]

ps: maybe it is not or/and not always the case that it are always the sterotypes put on us? but in marias case i feel there is truth in it. and when she tells about the fact, that she was adopted and recently met her biological mother (how great, great, great!!!

[@melodyrachel]

Hey! I understand where you're coming from, and I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I also felt like gender roles were imposed on me, which contributed to me feeling like a man. It can be really eye-opening to recognize how much of our sense of self might be shaped by stereotypes and expectations placed on us from a young age. I think it's important to have these kinds of open and respectful conversations, just like you mentioned, so we can better understand each other's experiences. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for being part of this dialogue! Thanks again for sharing

[@louiseparker1915]

Sounds like her parents were VERY CONSERVATIVE! This gendered bullshit has to stop!!

[@melodyrachel]

Yup

[@TC-8789]

I appreciate the care with which you two have approached this topic. I strongly dislike the terf movement and people like Blaire White - who panders to the most extreme right wing. But as a transman, I do think it's important to hear these stories about who de-transitions, who never transitions, and why. I am not Christian and don't view my body the way a Christian queer person would, but Christianity isn't the only faith or reason a person would not choose a physical or social transition. And we need space for all of these options. That said, because I am American and see the false information coming from the right in my country leading to a massive increase in violence, I will always listen to criticism of the queer left with caution. I hope your channel doesn't become an apologist for these individuals and groups on the right that are inspiring stochastic terrorism. The only way the left will put it's guard down is through a measured and sincere dialogue.

[@barryledgister4496]

Which groups on the right are inspiring stochastic terrorism? What false information from the right do you think is causing a `massive increase in violence` (I assume you mean against trans people). Why not criticise the Left? They hold most of the power in the mainstream media, and are placing most of the stories. The Right just react to them, which I`m sure is the Left`s aim. An example: President Joe Biden announces Trans Day of Visibility which just happened to accidentally fall on Easter Sunday. The Left report this, and the Right react...but who is really in the wrong? Imo, the Left; for slanting the story as a Trans diss of Easter, rather than respectfully giving the full reason why the days fell together. The Right would completely ignore trans people...a tiny, usually white minority, if it weren`t for the Left`s goading coverage.

[@kirsteenniven5111]

The "terf movement" is not a thing. TERF is an insult levelled at anyone with any objection at all to any aspect of "transgenderism". It's another misogynistic way to dismiss, victimise, bully and abuse women and girls. If you listened to their objections, then you would understand what they are concerned about, and the primary issue for most of them is children and young people.That may or may not include you! Whatever age you are, they care about you, they love you, and want the best outcome for you! Blaire White is not being bullied for being "far right". Blaire has been bullied and physically attacked by far right trans-activists for being moderate, and being courageous enough to expressing genuine concerns, and advocating that people should be offered therapy at first, rather than being given irreversible treatments. That is not a far right opinion. That is a moderate, common-sense opinion which most rational people would share. Did you know that a large percentage of the youngsters who are influenced by gender ideology are autistic, learning disabled or gay, or all three? And they can end up with horrendous medical complications from surgery gone wrong, atrophied genitals, or no genitals. They lurch from one medical procedure to the next, because it's a slippery slope. People can end up dead from surgical complications. It is no joke, and therapy should definitely include being offered alternatives and full disclosure of the risks. I wish you happiness, but my advice is that you are you. You cannot become anything else but yourself. You cannot escape from your body, but you can change the way you feel inside, and as you mature, life gives you more choices and you learn to embrace your pain. Love yourself, because you are loveable. Don't harm your body. Care for your body with love, and treasure your health. You only get one shot at life, and to live the best life possible you need good health. Do some traveling. Address trauma. Live freely, and life will feel easier. xxxx

[@melodyrachel]

Hey thank you for your comment, i appreciate it. I do try my best to criticise left wing dogma with caution for sure!

[@katiewyatt4399]

No, this is 100% a TERF channel. Look at all the other trans content on this channel, it's never anything positive. She's just interviewing TERFs and spreading TERF apologia. She's heart reacting comments that call trans women predators. Don't fall for this garbage. From one trans person to another.

[@ALT-vz3jn]

TERFs don’t exist - that was a slur invented by male to female trans activists, in order to commit biological female erasure.

[@cgpcgp3239]

I wonder if going to a gender clinic will convince her to re-transition. Clinics are staffed with gender ideology ideologues. Lots of them are trans and non binary. I can’t imagine a gender clinic being supportive of detransitioners except to retranistion them. Please do follow up to see how she’s doing.

[@melodyrachel]

Hmm yeah. Although Maria seems pretty certain, I shall do, thanks for watching 🙏

[@MariaWitlof]

True this! Still waiting for their call. Tho in the meantime with the guidance of one actual caring healthcare professional, I am now getting medically examined to tackle at least the physical aspect of testosterone damage. The therapy part will have to wait, tho feminism has helped me a lot already the last couple months! ❤

[@cgpcgp3239]

@@MariaWitlof Thanks for update. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you able to fully heal. ❤️

[@FreiaNomad]

If the govenment doesn't provive the hormones. We will find other ways. This ridiculous that the waiting list is years!!!! Also the endocrinologists are CLUELESS about trans people.. they are used to older men and older women. So called black market hormones saved me. Now I have my doctor but I was mentally falling apart just waiting.... horrible

[@dyoung1492]

The trans community dumps de-transitioners as traitors and says they were never trans ... so much for being kind. You are so brave, Maria and I hope you go from strength to strength.

[@melodyrachel]

Yeah I think those people must see detransitioners as delegitimising them or something 🤷🏼‍♀️ , thanks for watching!

[@PrayingMoth]

I'd say that women and men can both do a lot of things that the other can do. I'd also say that masculine and feminine is inherently sexual and not something related to culture. It seems that there are things given to both sexes that compliment the other, but are better equipped to each sex. Finally, for those who can hear and see what I am saying, the roles acquitted to each sex isn't based entirely upon what the other sex cannot do, but rather what reflects the way God has created us to serve Him. There are people who dishonor God through the way they abuse their roles and those who honor God through the way they trust Him with their role.

[@ALT-vz3jn]

That’s such a toxic take

[@PrayingMoth]

@@ALT-vz3jn That’s your perception. If you’d like to constructively share a perspective that you think is not “toxic”, please do so. If it’s something that is not simply trying to be agreeable, but something that is fact, I’d appreciate you sharing. Otherwise, you’ll just be giving me an opinion that you prefer.

[@normanicole4714]

Starts off so bad? How trans activists would phrase it? No. How truely trans people might phrase it.

[@ravenchristian4499]

Where im from, you have to get permission from a therapist already to even see a doctor to prescribe hrt. If we keep the process regulated, then no one will have to diy hormones.

[@melodyrachel]

That's really interesting and I agree with keeping the process regulated for sure!

[@GenVee]

Hey girlfriend...love your manner. You're so awesome!❤

[@sheribellagee9998]

Narrator sounds mildly irritated with guest throughout.

[@melodyrachel]

Hey thanks for your feedback! After looking at it again I do actually look a bit irritated haha. it’s definitely not at Maria though, I’m going to blame it on my 5am wake up due to time difference 😅

[@andrediniz2906]

❤

[@melodyrachel]

❤

[@ienekevanhouten4559]

Good grief. This girl just needed some good old fashioned feminism.

[@melodyrachel]

I think we all do 😅

[@christophercleary6780]

Feminism was the path that led to this

[@mtns340]

@@christophercleary6780 no. feminism is about getting out of boxes, ie girls can do typically male activities even if they're not male. trans is about going in a box, ie if you like typically male activities as a girl, you are a man. society as a whole is also about putting people into boxes, feminism is freedom not restriction.

[@MariaWitlof]

Yes definitely! I only found it now, and I was surprised radical feminism aligns with my core values I always had! Just never had the words, resources and the right women around me.

[@A-Fc4rl496]

thank yo for sharing your story

[@melodyrachel]

Thank you for listening

[@billyray105]

Best of luck to you

[@binghamguevara6814]

This person should be in jail. Not be given a KZbin account.

[@melodyrachel]

Wait, what? Me? or Maria?

[@MariaWitlof]

​@melodyrachel LMAO I'll probably go for saying "trans women are not women" anyways so im not too worried about my detrans takes 😂

[@janewatson8108]

Good luck, but I’d be staying away from the gender clinic!

[@PMC889]

wow, that sounds exactly like a cult!

[@melodyrachel]

Unfortunately a lot of LGBT culture can be like this. It seems if you don’t politically or ideologically align with people you get ostracised 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@TERFClub]

It’s ok to be a Tomboy.

[@melodyrachel]

i agree

[@RV19871]

because you realised you had been endoctrinâted

[@marcielynn4886]

Gave up?

[@melodyrachel]

Gave up on what?

[@mrlawilliamsukwarmachine4904]

13:33 what does Queer actually mean? I think the definition is very different to how it’s being used. Queer (‘Q’) is distinct from L, G,B & T. It’s not an umbrella term for ‘the community’. Q is of Queer Theory. Michel Foucault; Judith Butler; Gayle Rubin; David Halperin.

[@rissahoo]

In the US, queer is pretty well accepted as the catchall term. Personally I think LGBTQ is redundant and would either say queer or LGBTI+. The I is for intersex, which is a very distinct category that has distinct needs and is getting caught in the crossfire here.

[@mine4548]

[@Rh22-c9l]

100% homosexual , only attracted to straight people these are the only one that will never regret it or less likely Jr you don't are that . Don't do it