Why I HATE Christmas as an Autistic Adult - Unmasked, Unedited, Unwatchable

[@CylitheraGreywolf]

What gets me most is the massive disruption and disrespect to routine and solitude. It feels like a time where discipline gets undermined for excess and forced shallow interactions without a reason that makes any sense.

[@kathyinwonderlandl.a.8934]

It starts with Thanksgiving month and isn’t broken till Jan1st

[@jan2351]

For those of us with chronic health conditions who require massive amounts of self care, it’s incredibly draining!!!

[@saffsholistichealth]

I only spend time with people who I don't have to have shallow interaction with or don't exp shallow interaction with and up the self care to the max!

[@cyanidebill]

I just go to work like it’s any other day and I ignore every phone call, except the three people that I actually have a connection with. … so just another day.

[@RabbiJesus]

@@CylitheraGreywolf so don’t interact with it?

[@pattoneill2402]

I feel you, Orion. I hate the holidays as well. The materialism, the Christmas carols. It is all about $$. I don't even like to get presents or give them because it isn't a spontaneous spurt of love for the person, but "I better buy something because it is expected." I just lower my expectations of other people and isolate myself at home.

[@michaelme1548]

Other than stocking stuffers, I’ve never had to go buy something last minute for someone for Christmas. Throughout the year I see things and think certain people would like them. I get them and put them in our spare closet until Christmas. Every year I look right after Halloween and confirm that I don’t need to buy anything. My wife loves that I do that.

[@mnemosynevermont5524]

Xmas triggers images of divorced parents fighting over what I have to do that day, and families fighting over stupid things at dinner. My best xmas was the first xmas I spent alone in my own apartment.

[@carladelagnomes]

Yes, in my childhood it was "Holidays of Hell."

[@misspat7555]

I guess it’s good that my son’s father and I worked out a solid, legally enforceable custody arrangement where we took turns having Christmas, and whoever didn’t get Christmas that year got Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Now, his father just doesn’t seem to care if he sees him at all… oh, well… 🤷‍♀️

[@cyanidebill]

Christmas and thanksgiving were the only times that my parents tried not to be crazy. I could count on that being the only times there wouldn’t be any fighting.

[@clarkefountain2258]

Aaack! Parties! Family meals! Appropriately responding to gifts! Feeling outside everything... You've got it nailed.

[@jutta3378]

Tell me about it! My husband wanted me go with him to a Christmas lunch with friends last week and I knew it wouldn't be good for me but I wanted to be agreeable as he always accommodates me at other occasions during the year. Cut a long story short: I lasted 10 minutes in the restaurant before I could feel a meltdown coming on and had to leave the premises. It's sometimes difficult when you're diagnosed later in life and all your family and friends still relate to you as the "old you", the highly masked person you used to be. The "new me" is still a challenge for my husband who tends to try and "dilute" the experience by saying that "everybody is a little autistic"...we've all heard it before and it really doesn't help! Thanks to Orion's great channel he's learning what it means to live on my planet.

[@mazz3736]

I hate getting presents! Too much pressure for the giver and the receiver

[@cazabam]

I love giving an receiving presents when it is natural and comes from a place of love. I hate it when it's only done because societal pressure and capitalist consumerism says so.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

Me too

[@nelson5953]

Please do a video on autism and the cult of niceness, specifically on how it divides the behaviors of neurotypical and autistic people.

[@PhilBurns-oc2vg]

I can fully relate to everything you've said, that's why as much as possible i try to hibernate over the Christmas period. The worst things for me is the noise in the supermarket when I'm stood in a queue, I feel like I could go into meltdown.

[@user-ye1go6hw9r]

For me the biggest "nope" for holidays is HAVING to do things JUST BECAUSE. Like gift-giving because it's what you do. It feels fake and disingenuous and untrue and forced and disgusting and WRONG.

[@OddboLL]

I wish I could give this video 5 thumbs up. Finally, someone shares my EXACT sentiments about the holidays that I've had for decades now.

[@osullivanmelvideos]

Same. Omgoodness. Finally. 🎉

[@reginleif6703]

Preach! It was nice during COVID I didn’t have to really worry about this stuff and I learned opening gifts alone is so much less stressful.

[@liznichols4916]

I have felt so bad for truly enjoying COVID. For a few years, the world adapted to us. It was out of necessity but still.....it had it's enjoyable parts.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

I loved "lockdowns". They were so nice. The world slowed down to my speed. What I most loved was walking along quiet streets of my neighbourhood and seeing others doing likewise ❤

[@WayofYahushua]

Who followed the "rules" ? I didn't !

[@cowsonzambonis6]

What you said about being dysregulated and needing more time to regulate 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I always wondered why holidays felt SO stressful- that’s 100% why. And it’s completely logical and reasonable able to dislike/hate something that dysregulates me!

[@carofischer9934]

When I read the title my first thought was "Oh, but I love Christmas!". Thinking about it now, I love it because in my family it's a time of slowing down, of resting and spending time with family (close family, meaning my parents, brother and I). We still celebrate Christmas the exact same way we did when I was a child, down to the food we have, so for me it's part of my yearly routine. I guess I don't hate it because I already got rid of all the annoying, overstimulating parts and only kept the calming one. For me personally Christmas time is also the perfect excuse to stay at home and cozy up, so I guess that helps, too :D

[@hellequinm]

Yes! All my grandparents are dead and I have no kids. So it's me and my husband enjoying the best part: food and cozy at home eating until we can't breath 🤣

[@KevinUrban-u1z]

It's all what you make of it, good for you for taking the best and tossing the rest. It's yours to do as you wish.

[@chrismaxwell1624]

Same with my family. My wife works with kids get Christmas off so she wants quiet. I don't have to go out to the events she does I get even more alone time. It's quiet for me. I take the time off too if I can. I love the day after Christmas shopping as I get to stay home while everyone goes out shopping for sales. I've seen how some people do Christmas as Chaos trying to get the Social Media best Christmas ever.

[@dani_dan_dan4296]

This is the exact same for me. As a little kid I found opening presents quite stressful so would sit in the corner quietly to do so at my own pace - but my family was very accepting and never fussed over it (my sister with the larger personality took the limelight which I appreciated lol). But it was usually a calming time cuz it would be just the 4 of us. As an adult though, i do hate the social pressures of the season. I'm mingling more with my partner's family Christmases - which is more chaotic, mingled with relatives, and stereotypical, i guess. It stresses me out a lot 😅 The alcohol tends to help calm the stress down, which is not a good crutch at all 😭😅

[@jillianoldfield2300]

That sounds lovely. ❤ And very unusual. 😂

[@apark9538]

Thank you for helping me understand what my daughter is experiencing a bit better... She was just diagnosed at 19 and she has always hated Christmas! it totally stresses her out every year and she dreads everything about it! I never truly understood why, but this makes total sense to me now! I have also read your book and it has really helped me understand her and the way her brain works a little more... Thank you!

[@michaelme1548]

My daughter was diagnosed at about twenty and has always loved Christmas. She avoids all the social stuff but loves the decorating. She’s very particular about it.

[@carladelagnomes]

I don't like the holidays. Fake involvement "forced shallow interactions," as the person in another comment wrote. "We're being pushed into situations we don't want to be a part of, and we're doing it for other people." Nurotypical people don't know what energy I have to donate for this highly commercialized, financially draining, overwhelming situations. Christmas music. Years of listening to the same crap sung over and over and over. And sometimes the same Christmas music sung badly by a new singer. And it is everywhere and it is horrible. I sure do agree with you. Like fingernails scratching down the blackboard. Commercialization of these holidays is ridiculous. Orion, I am grateful I am not the only one who sees these things and thank you for voicing it.

[@RabbiJesus]

@@carladelagnomes forgive them, because they’re probably only trying to involve you as a means to treat your social anxiety.

[@ThisisPam]

Ugh, I feel this. As a mom, wife, teacher, daughter, there are so many spheres in which I’m expected to create and maintain Christmas cheer. As a church music leader, I have to fake my way through playing and singing Christmas bloody carols (not very Christian of me, is it). I start feeling the stress of the season in early November and then a huge sense of relief when it’s all over, early January. The most exhausting “break” known to humankind. Thanks for this video Orion! I feel better knowing others feel this way, too!!

[@Elvenroyale]

I ALWAYS give the appropriate reaction because I “ruined everyone’s holiday” when I was six and the family threatened to never give me anything again. At 6 and being autistic, you believe that and understand exactly WHAT that means. I thought my life was over. No food, no new clothes for school, no school supplies…(I loved school. Well… PLAYING school anyway.) Birthdays would be gone too. And next Christmas? Coal. If anything. But the worst part of the whole thing was just how disappointed in me everyone was. I was so ashamed of myself for hurting everyone. Looking back, all I did was NOT perform as expected and I was mad that everyone kept pushing me to smile and talk and give hugs and act excited! Just like you’re saying, Orion. I had to wear new scratchy clothes instead of my comfortable ones and be in a house crowded with people that I only saw once a year (and at six years old it might as well been a lifetime since I’ve seen them), I was expected to be extremely happy about the new big girls jeans I was wearing because they were the same as my aunt’s. I was supposed to pose with her in a picture and once they got me in that picture, I looked like I hated the world. After that Christmas, I became hyper vigilant about showing happiness all the time, ESPECIALLY when someone does something thoughtful for you.

[@moongardenglow]

@@Elvenroyale it has always been putting on a performance. I too went through this. I'm guessing since others here also see it for what it is makes me think I am autistic after all.

[@pricklycactusblossom6790]

​@@moongardenglowHowdy 🤠 Appreciate your sharing🌹This is us. Always wondered why I was so weird. Blurting out the rudest words. Shocking. Orion is great at explaining us.

[@3rdeyegoogly]

@Elvenroyale I'm so sorry your family put you through that when you were so young. Being misunderstood is the worst. I don't recall being accused of "ruining Christmas" until I was a teenager. Now, I'm riddled with anxiety every year about how I'm going to ruin it this time. Whatever I do, it never feels good enough anymore.

[@whitneymason406]

I hate dealing with intoxicated people and the expectations at holiday gatherings. Now as an adult with a son with high support needs, we have really revamped how we do celebrations. Great video, and I hope you have a happy holiday, whatever that looks like! 💞

[@donovangray4246]

I am so happy whenever you have one of your unedited videos, because I can identify with all the frustrating things that this crazy life gives us and no one else talks about.

[@-GrnDZer0-]

13:00 60seconds unskippable ads, right on your mark, lol

[@MrPenfold71]

I was undiagnosed until this year at the age of 53, and for many years, I have voiced many of these concerns to my family, but I ended up being told I was a Bah Humbug, and it became a running joke. Well, after watching this masterclass of autistic explanation, I feel even more empowered to educate my loved ones on the stress of the season. Thank you so much!

[@jonoghue]

I'm undiagnosed but increasingly convinced I'm autistic at 29, and I go through the same thing every year. Parents asking me what I want for christmae, telling them I want nothing and I hate christmas, and getting called Scrooge.

[@reallydiab9365]

Me too! diagnosed this year age 59. I'm going to forward this video to my immediate family

[@doctorno3912]

Every year, my partner and I do xmas at our house. This year I decided to nope out. I told everyone in the family we aren't hosting this year or attending. Spending Christmas this year by the beach with just my partner and I. No stress, no obligations and no Christmas. My autistic ass couldn't be happier.

[@InterDivergent]

I went 5 years without doing it. Was a great time.

[@doctorno3912]

@@InterDivergent lol 5 years, gaming the social system like a champ. Well done, I tip my hat to you.

[@dmn4747]

How did you get away with that?! My in-laws are still mad at me because I wasn’t able to feign excitement when they surprise crashed our Greek vacation I’d been planning for a whole year.

[@doctorno3912]

@dmn4747 partner only has her dad and he's pretty chill about things. My parents on the other hand don't like arguing with me. Amd since I completely cut my sister out of my life and don't attend anything with here there I get a fair amount of lead way. By cutting my sister out I think it put everyone in the family on notice. If you fuck around with me now, you'll find out.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

​@@dmn4747That sounds like torment. I feel intense compassion for you.

[@DarkstrifeQueen-v8v]

For me, it’s the concept and pressure of getting gifts for everyone on Christmas that ruins the spirit for me. I don’t understand that, and not getting gifts for everyone makes me the a**hole of the family? Whatever happened to the gift of just spending quality time with loved ones? There must be more to Christmas than just the gifts. Like what do you get for someone who has everything? It’s just a waste of time, money, and energy tbh.

[@notsure9802]

For me its the materialism connected to how much you value a relationship. Like, show your loved ones how much you care about them by buying them something. But then some people value handmade better. Others see handmade as cheap or whatever. And either way there's pressure to make it the right thing. And then you have to hang out and open presents in front of people. So if you like a present make a show of it, if you dont then pretend you do and make a show of it. Then what if what you give is not equal to what they gave you. Or god forbid someone unexpected gives you something and you didnt get them anything. I hate this whole interaction. Id rather get something i see randomly in the year, that makes me think of you and get it and give it to you. It feels more real. Theres more but this is what affects me most negatively about the season. I do like the weather and decorations. And we have a tradition of our sons dress as elves to deliver little presents to neighborhood kids, annonomously, on christmas eve. Our sons love it and the recieving children and parents love it. The parents obviously know. But it shows our sons it feels good to bring joy and not necessarily get any credit for it. No pressure, its fast, fun and memorable.

[@BeauDAmore-u1o]

I am absolutely enjoying that you are fully emoting for all of us. It’s entertaining and validating at once. Think about doing stand-up.

[@jaaaxson]

I'm laughing because this is exactly how I feel about holidays, birthdays etc.

[@melissagodwin1594]

Huh. I’m glad you mentioned birthdays. I actually mostly enjoy Christmas, but this video is exactly how I feel about my birthday.

[@alanguest1979]

It's the crowds that get me, if I need to do anything (shopping, meetings, whatever), I want to do it asap in the morning (or in the evening) before the crowds that get in your way or hold you up get too bad!

[@krissyk9767]

Yes the shopping centres where I am get so insanely crowded and people are so rude pushing and shoving everybody.

[@PlantingDiversity]

Absolutely agree 👍🏻 Online shopping all the way whenever I can. Every where is just so very peopley at this time of the year

[@KevinUrban-u1z]

They have 365 days to get ready for Christmas yet wait till 2 days before to get ready. SMH

[@viktoriavadon2222]

As an autistic woman, I hate two things about Christmas. One is what you mentioned too: as soon as Halloween is over, the shops are filled with Christmas items and music. Two months is just too much. When it's being shoved down our throats, it triggers my PDA. The second is the expectations, being a daughter means I don't just have to be there and socialize (luckily we really only get together with family friends once and both grandparents, so that is bearable, kind of), but also help clean and cook and bake and come up with presents. On top of it all, I'm a university teacher, just coming off a really busy time of helping graduating students, and grading papers and exams at the end of semester, and all I want to do is decompress and recover from the burnout, do nothing for like a week, but no time for that because must prepare for Christmas...

[@GP-fj9qu]

I put a goal on myself to do a little less each year. I see it more like self care. I try to do more for myself, and say I am busy or something.

[@funniful]

I like Christmas. It’s just me and my autistic husband in my home. We live isolated in the woods. We both like pretty lights, so I put up a tree, and decorate the living room with lights. We do not go inside shops, at all. Groceries are picked up outside. We spend very minimally…and it’s delivered from Amazon. We actually only leave our house once a month. My son and daughter in law come for a Christmas weekend to visit. They don’t have kids. It’s a very chill experience. I don’t send cards, play music, buy tons of gifts, nor plan elaborate dinners. The point of saying all this, is to say that you can design your Christmas experience to accommodate your needs.

[@StrangelySansName]

As someone who was recently diagnosed with AuDHD and worked retail for many years, I can say that I HATE Xmas with a passion because of retail work. The music over and over starting in November, the crowds, the way people are SO RUDE to each other and to people who work in retail. The way people have unrealistic expectations of retail workers. Don't be mad at others if you waited until the last minute, etc. I literally have holiday PTSD from this lol. I laugh but I'm being for real.

[@astrobat87]

Same here. Worked in retail from ‘07 to ‘21 and the Xmas garbage traumatise me me too.

[@catsymurphyandrews1769]

I love your unmasked videos. Because isn’t that how we all want to be expressing ourselves as long as we’re not killing people of course or doing things that are illegal isn’t it something that we all want to aim towards educating people about what autism is and allowing for our freedom of expression in a sense. So unmask away Mr. Kelly!

[@xAwareWolfx]

"Do lights have balls!?" Never change Orion 😂

[@saffsholistichealth]

😂😅made my day that

[@veronicasmith2612]

SORRY that’s just what his shirt says

[@jeremyg6758]

I got an ad at the exact moment you mentioned commercialization. Perfect timing to make your day!!!

[@alejandro-314]

100% relatable. Christmas (and similar holidays) should be every 4 years or so, like the Olympics.

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

This is the best suggestion ever

[@yflihi]

As a late diagnosed 63 year old, the thing that really does my head in is Christmas music in shops. It symbolises to me the massive disruption that the whole season is to me, to such an extent that I hear Christmas music and the resulting anxiety makes me physically sick. That and the fact that people that you only know distantly suddenly feel the need to stop you in the street (I love in a small town, it's not uncommon) and make small talk about Christmas plans. And when I say that I'm hoping to jump in my 4wd and go camping out at the lake where I'll be totally alone they look at me like I'm the Grinch.

[@isabeltyrer7903]

Do it!! You are more important than anything else... ❤

[@KevinUrban-u1z]

I actually listen to Christmas music to a very small degree year round. But do find it very fake and manufactured if playing in a store.

[@KTplease]

It’s become a consumerism season. NTs have been manipulated into thinking the more they spend, the happier the holiday. But then NTs GRUMBLE about the cost, the effort (2000 lights on the ROOF, REALLY??) and the time it takes to pack it up all again!! It’s MADDENING to see NTs go through this willingly!

[@carladelagnomes]

And the debt load that people enter into to buy a bunch of crap! Credit card debt that takes months to pay off after. DEBT is not happy...

[@artsiesteph]

I genuinely laughed out loud when the ad roll came in. I didn't think you'd do it right then. 🤣🤣🤣 Back on a serious note though, I appreciate you going into your personal perspective and thoughts on Christmas. Not gonna lie, I'm a big Christmas fan, so thank you for showing me how it can be for others. Appreciation and acceptance, like your channel says. ⭐

[@MVance-k9p]

One thing that amazes and bewilders me is how NTs conduct themselves in such a rude and selfish manner leading up to a time of the year that is about being the opposite.

[@bugsybrown1745]

That’s because it’s a big performance to show others how special, thoughtful and how much you love your family and friends. It’s a competitive performance too - social media has to capture it all. The busier and more stressed you are? Such a loving mother you are, wow!

[@jeongin_wife628]

That was my favorite ad break ever. Perfect timing.

[@H.Michele]

This is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone describe what it’s like for me to receive a gift!! I hate it. Horrible anxiety! I always ask people not to give me gifts and explain that it’s because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by my reaction. I tell them I have to warm up to new belongings and I won’t appear to appreciate it until days later. I am undiagnosed so I just always thought this was some weird thing about only me (like so many autistic things, it turns out).

[@markmcmullen1371]

It's nice to know I'm not by myself on this one.👍

[@HaakonOdinsson]

You’re not alone, my friend 🙂 Take care and best wishes

[@osullivanmelvideos]

Same. This is refreshing 🎉

[@ulkesh78]

I hate hate HATE Christmas music. Should only be legal for 48 hrs per year max. Christmas eve and Christmas.

[@t-man5196]

Is the Grinch autistic?

[@WayofYahushua]

Absolutely ! Does it take 2 months to get ready for the 4th of July, your birthday or any other holiday ? ? ?

[@MVance-k9p]

I think holidays like Christmas might be a necessary social tradition to remind NTs to treat each other respectfully and show appreciation for those that care for them.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

Does that mean us Autists can leave the neurotypicals to put themselves through this ritual?.We don't need to attend because we're thoughtful and considerate all year round.

[@SeriouslyJaded]

As an adult I hate Xmas. Only put the effort in for others. Hate the stress, the crowds, the everything.

[@sapdoni]

I found this so deeply validating. Thank you for posting this! I recently had an experience at work where my coworkers wanted to all go around the room and share their favorite Christmas traditions and I found it to be pure torture and I felt kind of self conscious about how different and other my reaction made me feel. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s also helpful to hear you describe it in your own words because you are able to describe things that I feel but didn’t know how to put into words yet. Again, so helpful - thank you!

[@nomadicprepper8594]

Besides all of that, To me is also the huge expectations around gifts. I spend my money wisely on things I truly enjoy! And rarely anyone would be able to figure out what those are since I have very specific hobbies that most of my close friends don’t share. I live a very minimmalistic life style and all objects in my nomadic home are for a purpose. Buying gifts and spending my money on silly gifts for others just to make them happy is a waste of my money. So I normally just tell everyone I’m going on a vacation somewhere and avoid participating to Xmas all together. I just stay home with my dog and ignore what day it is.

[@carladelagnomes]

Ohh, that's a good idea!

[@tracynottage356]

Hi Orion, I am absolutely with you 100 percent, I understand exactly where you are coming from, it's nice to know that it's not just me that feels this way about Christmas, another great video, thankyou Orion 😊 ❤😊

[@reachforfitnessltd6356]

Although I’m Autistic myself, I know I’ve been guilty of the masked me causing the other Autistic people in my life discomfort in how I interact with them so to have this video I’m so so grateful. I needed someone to explain exactly how to interact with an Autistic person. It sounds mad as I know what I need but find it hard to be what others need. You have helped me so much this last year. Thank you Orion.

[@flashthemonkey6032]

It feels sort of liberating hearing you let these grievances out so naturally, and sort of filtering them through my own head. It’s an interesting… thing.

[@bluefox5331]

I hate presents most of the time. Like you say. it's just random stuff. Most of the time I feel like they picked something stereotypical that I could like, didn't even like.. ask my parents what I like or try and figure it out? And then I am left with these things (and cards.. god why the waste, pLeasE now i gotta try and halfway recycle this and throw the laminated paper in the trash.... after reading mass printed wishes for ten seconds...) that I will never use, and decide if I should cram them somewhere in my room or throw out.. and then feel bad about it.. I wish it was acceptable to tell people "please don't send me any wishing cards I hate the waste, you can just give me a cookie or something or just write wishes on my phone".. A gift from my parents for my birthday this year was a good mortar and pestle because I cook with spices that sometimes I can only find whole (or prefer whole until preparing them). Best present ever. Don't need anything else, yes perfect. So I am totally on the same page about gifts as you..

[@andykerslake]

I have Autism, and thought I was on my own with these views. I go to church weekly except for Christmas. I avoid Christmas like the plague! Being around people at Christmas gives me the feeling of spinning around for half a hour, and then stopping , no balance and I can’t function . I’m on my own for Christmas, sadly I ❤ it.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

I love being alone at Christmas.

[@rockinrobnw]

It’s so strange to me that allistic people still don’t know, can’t fathom, why autistic people have such a hard time during the holidays. It’s not a state of mind. That implies control. As if I can control how the holidays affect me as an autistic. This just happened to me with a co-worker less than an hour ago. My lived experience is always seen as not existing. Or if the holidays cause me anxiety, I’m told, Well, I just take it easy and relaxed. What I read into that response is first, that my experience isn’t really valid, like I have nothing to be worried about. Then they always tell me how they handle that situation. How they handle it better than you. I was talking more to people now that I have my diagnosis. But since I found out about being autistic, I have only met ignorance, tropes, and dismissal. I’m going back to not talking. Weird how people think you are unintelligent when you don’t talk.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

After I was diagnosed Autistic I started campaigning for almost everyone in my life - doctors included - to read my writing rather than insist I speak. It's a reasonable accommodation for my disability, and I have the right to ask for it. My autism includes selective mutism (misnamed, because it's not a choice). I now realise it's grotesquely unfair for anyone to expect me to talk at large group gatherings. I'm boycotting Christmas now.

[@eva01iastate]

I so feel this is my soul. Thought this year my wife has gone with lets dump all the Christmas b.s. and leave the country a couple weeks and go to New Zealand. This has been a place I have wanted to go for a long time and the things we have planned will be once in a lifetime experiences. Yes routines will be disrupted but for once in years for a reason that is actually worth it.

[@krissyk9767]

I don't mind celebrating Christmas and new years - I think of it like its celebrating getting through the year and surviving 😝 BUT, I agree that Christmas is too overcommercialised and too much fuss over it. We can confine celebrations to just around Christmas - not starting in October! And there is too much pressure on buying gifts. I would be happy just to have a nice lunch with family, without putting pressure on people to buy so much stuff and have over the top parties etc. It has become too much!

[@tdsollog]

I’m 53, and recently diagnosed ADHD, and awaiting diagnosis on autism. This is soooooo relatable!

[@AngieGravil]

It was refreshing to learn I am not the only one who hates Xmas. I go through visual and audio pain dealing with what NT want, forget everyone else.

[@ThisisPam]

Hahaha that’s PRECISELY when I got an ad! Hope you’re happy! Get stuffed Orion!

[@DiscordBeing]

Christmas just reminds me every year of all the Christmas plans everyone left me out of and continues to do every year. The slowdown in the year then coincides with the time I want to do something because I was left alone, but can't because everything is closed and people are socializing. RIP.

[@user-ye1go6hw9r]

Thank you for doing these very real videos. This series is SOOOO valuable.

[@danielanderson1681]

Firstly I hope this is okay to say, but it makes me smile seeing the unmasked you. As I'm trying to do it more myself and seeing aspects of myself helps. Secondly, in regards to Christmas I don't enjoy how stressful and fast paced it can be and all I really want to do is sit with my nieces to watch movies, play comes and just be a bit silly.

[@AaronGrosch29]

Just confirming, I got the ad at the exact moment. You did it. I laughed. 10/10

[@veronicasmith2612]

Diabolically delightful

[@user-bt7oe5jj1o]

I was always told that not liking all this stuff was because I was a bad person.

[@jan2351]

Watching you roast the world and say what I’m thinking has been my favorite part of the day. I wish “get stuffed” was a ringtone! (My skeptic mind thinks holidays are just major distractions. My theory is “most people” prefer to live with their heads on the sand. For those of us that prefer to see the world as is are floored by these types of flashy egoic performative acts… so stuffin NOISY!!!)

[@donnadettrick127]

Orion I totally agree with your feelings , I quit Christmas decades ago. But it was primarily created by others , from my perspective. Yelling and screaming and hitting as things went on. Drinking and fighting all these issues came out every single Christmas. Family was not fun. My opinions on anything seemed unwelcome. Gifts didn’t compensate for all the uproar. Most holidays are wasted on me. I try to celebrate my birthday and New Year’s but it’s not that safe many places I like to go to. I don’t mind being alone. Most Christmas music is a reminder of those experiences. I miss the food though. 😊

[@j.b.9260]

I'm an autistic adult and a big fan of Christmas.

[@Chelseyandfam]

@@j.b.9260 interesting! Tell us what you love about it.

[@yundorphin]

I love it, too, but I was never forced to celebrate it. (It's not a traditional holiday in my culture.) XD what's your favorite part of Christmas?

[@j.b.9260]

@@Chelseyandfam I've been in love with Christmas since I was a kid. I enjoy the films, the music, the giving and receiving of presents, the decorations, the weather, etc. I even love the crowds and the shopping. Maybe it's my holiday from autism, who knows?

[@j.b.9260]

@@yundorphin Maybe the films and the music, but I love it in its entirety, really.

[@notsure9802]

My husband and I are both autistic. He loves christmas but i get stressed by it

[@Bluebubblesgreentree]

I decorate for Xmas, watch holiday movies, bake food and spoil my dogs. That's it. That's all I need. I put my tree up in September and might take it down day after Xmas but that's it for me as far as celebrations. Not going out, don't need to see my coniving bully-filled family lol

[@jillianoldfield2300]

What a lovely plan ❤ Have an enjoyable stress-free day!

[@Bluebubblesgreentree]

@jillianoldfield2300 thanks you too! ❤️

[@introvertonthespectrum]

13:05 gosh darn Orion. I got an ad at that moment and it was a 54 second Christmas Sprite commercial that I couldn’t skip. I just exited the video and came back to a skippable 5 second ad. Nice one hahaha

[@Grey_Warden_Invasion]

I just remembered something even worse than giving and receiving gifts among family. The forced Secret Santa at school. Yet again you are expected to pick up on the smallest social clues that whoever classmate you pulled is never actually giving but only imagining in their heads, are expected to find a gift for them based on non existing clues, but unlike family members around the Christmas tree kids WILL show their disdain around other kids if they don't like that gift and they will make it your problem once they learn who the gift giver is. And if your receive a gift then there's the pressure of showing the appropriate expected reaction to a classroom. Family gatherings are still a kinda safe place for slipping up and not immediately having the appropriate reaction, but I can't imagine an unsafer place for any slip ups of that kind than school.

[@KTplease]

Ok the ad break was funny. Spite ads. 😆 Just for that, I didn’t click skip. You’re welcome. (Edit: yes, the ad actually did insert there! I thought at first that YOU did that!)

[@BlueRoseHelen252]

Hilarious I got a hair transplant ad 😂.... Great video, plus relatable

[@dugolas]

As a kid Christmas always made me stressed because if I didn't like the presents my family got me they would feel sad. So I went out of my way to pretend to like everything I got for their benefit. It was exhausting. I never liked my Birthdays for the same reason

[@tims9434]

When you have Christmas with a friend's family. You realise how dysfunctional your own is

[@mixtresskatgranquist9898]

Im not autistic and i get it. I absolutely hate christmas music , and Christmas in australia makes no sense whatsoever. And all of your points are absolutely valid. Its quite comforting to hear somone come out and say this . I appreciate you.

[@dreadteir]

I am in a state of Autistic burnout, to the point where I had to say no to having my family over for Christmas dinner this year; I just... can't... UUUGGGGHHHH! My mom asked if we could meet up for coffee after I'm done work on the 24th. Nice neutral open place (in my building), still wants to see me, but respecting that dinner is too much. I just realized how thoughtful that was. Maybe I WILL bake our traditional pies for said coffee. I will refrain from specifics here. ;) Have a good December everyone, maintain your boundaries and take care of yourself!

[@isabellefaguy7351]

"but just focus on the positives" There are no positives for me with the Christmas time.

[@KevinUrban-u1z]

As a ND the one thing in life that has helped me the most is realizing that everything is just in your head and it is all what you make of it and have the ability to change it. It's mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter. I was going to change my shirt today, but instead I changed my mind.

[@KevinUrban-u1z]

I don't celebrate Christmas. I celebrate the change of season and give thanks to be alive. I don't decorate a Christmas tree, I decorate a pine tree to celebrate life. I don't go into retail stores ( year round). They are draining. The worst is Walmart. If I have to go into one I sit in the car for a few minutes to get the energy. Then I'm so drained when I leave. It's seeing all the mindless zombies running on auto pilot that drains me.

[@singingway]

The only time I hate Christmas music is when it's on too short a loop. If the music cycles for the fourth time while I'm in the mall I have to run away, and if they play The hippopotamus song I have to run away covering my ears and screaming.

[@joeminella5315]

This time of year, I consider myself lucky. I'm old and retired and live alone. I don't have to do anything I don't want to, and I don't. But I still remember having to endure too many xmas seasons. Best Wishes to all. Thanks, Orion and......... Merry Christmas!

[@kimwells7245]

As a kid I spent as much time as possible in the bathroom at whosever house it was at to get away from all the people. As an adult, I have the freedom to decide not to go and I don't go.

[@singingway]

This is so good Orion! The gifts which delight me the most are things i really need and specifically asked for. I HATE the idea of gifts that are "surprises." Just...why? Surprises are like being ambushed. They are horrible.

[@spencerdeumer-nt2eu]

You nailed Orion. I can't even think of anything to add.

[@cazabam]

Christmas is just two solid months of pressure, social expectation, rushing around... Christmas drinks and snacks aren't a fun treat; they're self-medication just to get through the season without totally melting down.

[@ChristopherRodgers-tx6zn]

What a brilliant video Orion. Everything you have brought up is me. All these years I have been trying to say the same thing to friends, family, and loved ones, and not being listened too. So to hear you saying it means that I was not wrong, and I should not have doubted myself. Thank you so much. I am actually going to show my mum your video to show her that what you have said is how I feel. I love your book. Halfway through now. Highlighting things as I go along. Please continue with your great work. It helps me a lot. My anxiety is getting worse, but through your book I know I am unmasking, as I am now retired and do not need to mask as much. I am going to get 1 to 1 help from an Autism Service in Doncaster, England. Cheers Orion. Chris Rodgers

[@daniela1970-d3o]

I 100 % agree with you! Your words have provided me with courage to stand up for myself this Xmas although they haven’t given in the huge cloud around me that means I’m a self diagnosed autistic adult. I’m bankrupt and my city has no specialists on autism in adults…that is what stops me from getting a definitely diagnosis whether it’s a “yes” or “no”

[@peterdalton200]

What I hate about Christmas is trying to keep the family together. I loathe the over commercialisation of a sacred day for Christians. I hate being left out of social activities, and being denied opportunities because of misconceptions about autism.

[@Adriem86]

🎉I can say that I did, in fact, receive an ad after you said insert ad here lol😂 Perfection!

[@cblaney3931]

Nice one Orion. I hate Christmas, but couldn't put my finger on it - you just did it for me. Great help 👍👍

[@MLindsey222]

Hi Orion! You handled that noise interruption like a champ. If it were me, I probably would've had a meltdown and wouldn't have been able to continue. So I applaud you for that! I agree with all the points you mentioned. The disruption to routine is the worst! Thanks for helping us fellow NDers feel we're not alone with the holiday struggle. 😊

[@Schaly]

I was given the task of being the person who handed out gifts from the tree when I was a pre-teen. It stuck all the way into my adulthood, and I'm 41 now and still take on the task. Having a task to do like this made (and makes) things feel less chaotic during the gifting process. I have control over something. I didn't have to talk to people, just do my job. I was also fortunate that we had the same breakfast every christmas, and I was always allowed after gifts to go play alone in my room. My parent's never knew I had autism, or adhd for that matter, but it was so nice. Now as a diagnosed autistic adult, I'm fortunate that the people in my life know that I don't mean disrespect when I need to go off alone and recharge for mini breaks all throughout the day. People only get me gifts that are on my gift list (which started as a kid when my dad asked why I kept sneaking peeks at my gifts every year) which really really helps the need to know what I have so that I can plan appropriate responses of gratitude. It's all these little things that make the hecticness of the holiday muvh more manageable. I completely share your distain for the music though. It makes me so uncomfortable. The decorations are pretty (and it could be my adhd love of sparkly things) but my god the music. I can't handle it. It makes me anxious for some reason. At least the day is the same every year with all the routines and traditions that have been established my my family. From the food to the gift routines to the time alone. The compromise is that I do the song and dance of actually participating in the holidays, but I get to make the rules on what that looks like.

[@andreamccray7634]

Thank you so very much for explaining why you hate Christmas. My undiagnosed ASD husband hates all holidays, but especially Christmas. This is helpful.

[@crazycorgiladyus7418]

A lot of Christmas carols are written in a minor key, which is known for feeling sad and depressing. So it makes perfect sense why hearing them makes you feel depressed.

[@jessicahendrick4264]

Hi Orion, I’ve been watching for awhile, and am commenting for the first time. Thanks for your videos. You said it would make your year, so I’m writing to let you know. I got an add in the perfect spot when you said you were going to play an add. I thought you planned it. But then you said you didn’t. Merry Christmas

[@gloryworm]

6:20 i'm imagining the scenario where i'm (an autist) freaking out in a cartoonish manner in front of several people watching celebrities sing christmas carols: "WHY ARE YOU ALL IDOLIZING CELEBRITIES AND PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS FINE WHEN THERE'S SO MANY ISSUES GOING ON IN THE WORLD?!" it's like us autists are the only sane minded people on this planet 😂

[@username46100]

Excellent video! Very relatable! And funny (you), even though it's not a funny topic. Thank you!

[@homesteadgamer1257]

First off, LOVE the shirt! lol. Second off, Oh man, I feel SO much of this video! Both me and my daughter are autistic and we both have a very hard time around celebrations, even home celebrations, holidays, birthdays, the gist. Christmas is in winter for us on this half of the world and we both love the snow and Christmas lights and the tree all dressed up, and I actually love Christmas music (but I'm picky about it, Mannheim Steamroller or Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby, and that's about it). We cannot do big group dinners at all, we need to be able to escape. We're actually going Christmas shopping in a couple hours, which is going to be hectic. But thankfully quite a few years ago I learned that my daughter needs Christmas presents gradually over a few days, and since she can't really say what she wants by even looking through like a magazine, I just take her shopping and she picks out what she wants. She likes unwrapping stuff, I suck at wrapping lol. Come Christmas day, I make 2 of my favorite dishes and the rest are my daughter's favorite foods so she feels the day is kind of special. And after she unwraps her presents and eats stocking candy, she goes right into spinning on her chair and has to unwind for a few hours. I usually end up playing some video game for awhile. Thankfully we don't do big family gatherings anymore. And yeah, I have the same idea about family gatherings you do. There is literally a whole year, they couldn't catch up and spend GOOD time together THEN??? It HAS to be the day I have to cook all morning and somehow not forget to make sure my kid eats more than chocolate for breakfast? It HAS to be on the day I only get like 2 hours of sleep and am running on pure caffeine??? UGH no thank you. By the time I'm done cooking food, my daughter is worn out from unwrapping her gifts and I'm pooped from cooking and the house just goes quiet.

[@PlantingDiversity]

Omg your dooms day prep comment made me laugh 🤣 Loved it!!! ❤ I adore Christmas 🎄 it’s absolutely my favourite time of the year but I’m right there with you with loud Christmas songs in the shops and thinking that the world stops on the day 🎅🏼And don’t even get me started on how uncomfortable it is to receive gifts!!!!!!! 🎁

[@x1435]

I... Totally got an add after you broke for commercials 😂 I thought creators had the option to select where ads go tho. Thanks so much for helping to put words to my hateful feelings about Christmas. Hopefully it helps me communicate my needs to my family better this year. ❤

[@username46100]

Thanks, I look forward to watching this later today! So many things with Christmas I dislike, lol!

[@kirschquarkonice]

I absolutely feel you! I also start getting stressed out just by the thought of Christmas, I really hate it. During nov&dec, people increasingly go more and more crazy, everything is too crowded, you are supposed to buy loads of gifts for everyone, have enough time to go to the crowded and very expensive Xmas market with everyone and still be holly jolly and spend some very lovely days with your family.. over here in Germany it's not only 1 day, but 3 🥲🫠 if you have a partner or other family living somewhere else, you often celebrate every day with another family 🥲 so it's a nightmare that won't end for 3 days in a row.. and just a few days later you are supposed to celebrate New years eve, which really feels just as forced as Christmas 🥲 Btw, ppl over here usually don't watch Xmas songs, but some "Xmas time" movies like Cinderella, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.. don't ask me why 😂

[@Mazzamaz]

I’ve always found Christmas to be a difficult time for me. And I really didn’t know why at first but now that I’ve been diagnosed as autistic, it makes sense to me. The hot weather in Adelaide makes it so much worse. And the shopping is a nightmare.

[@carrierella7977]

THANKYOU for these unedited videos. They make me feel "normal". Validated. Ps- i feel exactly the same about Christmas.