why I have no friends as a youtuber... |

[@JoshuaFluke1]

Here's Cory's channel, go show him some love; kzbin.info/door/PMLBO8JzvBjy3N-hZcFWDQ

[@RoyerAdames]

Brother, you got to do that meetup, zoom call, and game day steam or like whatever you like, there is a lot of us that would like the chance to meet you because he can relate, a lot.

[@David-Ray]

Cory's an awesome pilot and person!

[@RoxasVoesi]

The funny thing is I have found out if you come to a person with a business first then talk it goes over better. IE. "Hey man how is your dad I heard he had surgery is he doing well? Also I have this business thing I would like to talk about!" Or "Hey man reaching out to you because I wanted to talk about this business thing. OK now that business is done how is your dad doing? I heard he had surgery is he doing well?" Get the work done so you can then talk to the person after without anything butting in. Letting the person know that I needed to talk to you for reason X but now that its done I really want to know how you are doing. Simon Sinek does a lot of really good speeches on things like this and personally I really look up to him as a leader.

[@flycory]

Wow Joshua.. Thanks bro! To your fans: Josh is legit, he's authentic and real, what you see here is an accurate representation of who he is in real life. Happy to have met him and I look forward to sharing some really awesome adventures! I'm still an ENFP. 😀🤘

[@9trogenta13]

No friends? as a youtuber you got Techlead (as a millionnaire)

[@vibeworldmeta]

Same here, introverts only need a couple of really good friends to be fulfilled. Better to have one or two real friends than a crowd of acquaintances that don't really know you.

[@SL2797]

Something my mother taught me, which I've taken to heart to this day, is: "Much better being alone, than in bad company."

[@s.6986]

so true..

[@yosoyraapiid3424]

Mejor solo que mal acompañado (in Spanish) is a really common quote people use where I’m from and to be honest is really good advice

[@Karll541]

Dump Lump you just couldn’t help yourself lol

[@phantomapprentice6749]

@@timetimetime3985 some people have supportive parents, believe it or not

[@differentbutsimilar7893]

This is very true, but I might add "No man is an island." Be true to yourself first. But I think if you need to be alone to be okay, then you're kind of in a lesser of two evils situation. It pays to have people to rely on - in my life it has been make or break... they're rare moments, but that's why I'd say nobody can really afford to be without some kind of human support lattice for any longer than necessary. You just never know when it's gonna be your out. Nothin saying you gotta grab the rope every time it's dropped. But keep em hanging there in case you slip. Because you're a stupid human who will fall at some point. Lets just say you can have relationships that may actually be kind of a drag on you at times, with not much of note coming of it, and then that day can still come when something goes down and you realize how much worse things would've been for you, if not for that relationship. And then you see each other a little differently and there's more to be had. Everything can change with a turn of events, and not just for worse. It's easy to think you understand it. It always is, whether you choose to trust someone or choose to distance. And I figure if I was wrong before, why would I assume that I am right now, when I feel the same as before? You know? People aren't perfect, you know? We're all varying degrees of fucked up. But at the same time it takes events just playing out before the value of any type of relationship with anyone really shows itself. Sometimes you think you know, and then find out you were totally wrong. It can be good or bad, or both. It could be someone you just met, or someone you knew for a long time. I'd prefer cautious realism over cynicism any day. Something about writing people off when I know there are things I don't know about myself seems flippant. I've been there and I don't think it was the best way I could've gone. Placid times, but also stagnant. Being alone is its own weakness. Better to be strong enough to be able to trust a few people, and have a grasp of yourself that lets you decide who you can realistically trust, not just because you believe they are trustworthy, but because you would be able to survive a betrayal by that person and because the risk of that betrayal is worth what all parties stand to gain. You can only be so strong alone. Pride and fear can make you their bitch and you can wind up in a place that is no more virtuous than blind trust. I think there's a nice middle ground in humility and the acceptance that it's all a dice roll. You could be around people who might betray you, or simply bring you into a bad position. Or you could be a lone wolf and fall to something that maybe somebody could've helped you with. And I think at the end of the day introverts are no less human and still have need for interaction and bonding. Nobody is so good with themselves that they can tackle everything within and beyond by themselves. You will stumble. The people you meet and the ones you become close to are your path to learning more about yourself, and how to navigate among people, not how to eliminate the need. I'll paraphrase one I like "You draw lines not so that people will not cross them, but so you will see who will cross them where." Everyone has that line, just as everyone has a point when they will even cross their own lines. Isolating will get you out of various perils of people, but isn't in itself a solution. Solitude is not strength, it's merely protection. Underneath of that, you can still be as vulnerable as you are around people - it's just not actively coming out in the interactions you are no longer having. It still affects you and things that make those fail can still affect you in ways you can't see, even when alone... especially alone. The only way I've found to deal with it is to really try to understand yourself and other people in a way that makes you more empathetic to their motivations. Note that 'empathize' and 'agree' are not even remotely the same things. But if you want to have a certain understanding of what a person will do, or what direction any relationship is headed in, you just have to try to wrap your head around what that person's needs are and where they are coming from and compare it to yours. Some arrangements and interactions are just never going to go well for you, but if for you 'trust' is contingent on implicitly not considering that everyone has their own motivations, your problem is not due to other people, but rather what trust actually entails and how to integrate it. Now, as a pretty heavily introverted person myself, I really like being alone and sometimes things just don't jive with people. Lots of just awkward moments, bullshit... the occasion cataclysmic disaster. I get what Josh is saying when he's doubting why an introvert would want to bother, but I think it's a shortsighted way of approaching people. Having a lot of bad experiences factors in a lot. Nobody likes being hurt or abused. I have plenty of stories there, where for a long time I regretted trusting somebody because of the damage that it ultimately did, but now I think I was just going after something I needed at the time and it just didn't go how I had hoped. That is to say, I wouldn't have bothered if there wasn't a need! Just because the branches have thorns doesn't mean I won't die if I don't get to that fruit. In that regard, I think that quote has a bit of a slippery slope to it. Especially as an introvert, you can walk the line of insulating yourself too much for general human tolerances. It's a vulnerability we more easily fall to than our socialite counterparts. Introverts are different, but isolation will still make you miserable eventually. Josh himself also speaks of challenging that, because it's still better to be in good company than none at all, even if it is often difficult, and you don't care for it as much as other people. It serves a lot of functions that can't be replicated in a vacuum. Honestly, I don't think the difficulty is even an 'introvert/extrovert' thing but rather, a 'people' thing. Those terms simply describe different sets of challenges that different people have when it comes to dealing with others. You have to balance it. An introvert does need to get out and interact and form relationships with people. An extrovert still needs to make time for reflection and try to be mindful of other people's boundaries. It's the same general push in the end, getting there just looks different. I'm sorry for going on a total tangent. But in the context of this video that quote hit me a certain way and I wanted to speak from my experience a little bit.

[@vickidanielson6920]

Introverts are not broken. Introverts do not hate people. We energize alone. Extroverts energize with people. 👍👍😊

[@deadpoolshirtguy1996]

Very true! an good bit of the idea that we hate people comes from them not understanding that.

[@itguy5260]

Introverts are not shy. Introverts are not afraid to communicate. We just don't have any internal need to.

[@taylorcb77]

well...sometimes we hate people...

[@kogamikun4701]

I just hate people who thinks very irrational and only think about their status like they must be treated as god while looking down to me knowing we’re are all same humans

[@bettyboop.693]

We energise alone.....oooooh that so resonates. I used to struggle with the need to be alone inorder to feed my mind and spirit. I now embrace it, I realise I can attend a couple parties a year BUT I for sure won't be the last one to leave and I for sure feel a strong need to detach, be alone recharge!

[@rah4254]

I feel more lonely in a group of people than by myself. When I try to fit in, it never works. You just got to be yourself at the end of the day, those natural deep connecting relationships will come and they're worth waiting for.

[@Kevin-it4fh]

That's only if you're not really close with the group you're with. I barely talked in high school, yet got lucky that I found a group that I liked being with. Just let it flow I guess rather than force yourself to meet new people that you're not really compatible with.

[@michaelvigato3228]

At this point if I ever see a web dev tutorial I'm going to be like "wtf is this"

[@brandonvance9688]

Hahah I know right?

[@feuerschlange6374]

I actually thought id doing that. Explaining the structure of html, then go over to including css files and js. And after that diving into scss and some js frameworks. On the backend i would've explained php and basic operations every language has. I let that idea slide, bacause it is dry theory at least unless you get to the js part and nobody would be watching it.

[@garyp3472]

Does he do web dev? I though he was a struggling artist or LGQBT activist or maybe a typewriter salesman

[@garyp3472]

@FlappyBird Codes Fuck off, seriously? Wow. poor guy. Wonder if it was drugs that brought him down? Could have been an addiction to autoeroticasphyxiation, people don't realize how serious that is. Seriously awesome.

[@kei2142]

Dev tutorial is not the same genre as ex-devs drama I guess?

[@tulliusagrippa5752]

Joshua, true friends are very rare. Mark Twain said “the difference between a dog and a man’s best friend is that the dog will never betray you.”

[@memejmoon9716]

I’m gonna tell you The truth I live near a person that works for the health department the hospital. Yet he was sick and never notified anybody in April now his kids are sick because he brought in another family member he won’t report it because it was he would lose his job

[@nanomia]

A dog is with you just for food and shelter though

[@natashalall3553]

and yet people often treat them so terribly...

[@reubenkruger4077]

"You can't do It by yourself" Usually comes from people who could not do it by themselves......

[@ForgottenKnight1]

It depends on what the "it" is.

[@mikep6726]

Couldn't have said it better

[@harjap7487]

Growing up as an Indian, I always thought about how different I was from my community. This video really resonated with me when you mentioned how different you were from others and wanted to learn how the way of life works. I would always question something and all of a sudden everyone was against me. It never made sense to me until I realized that people never like it when you challenge their values and their way of life. I am always the type of person that would always go left when everyone goes right. After a while, I realized the one thing that allowed me to be at more peace. Everything is temporary and people come and go as they please. One other thing I learned as well is that just because you have different views doesn't mean that you can't come to an understanding. You can always be friends with people that have different viewpoints. It's like what Uncle Iroh from Avatar the Last Air Bender said "It is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place it becomes rigid and stale".

[@andeleon6838]

Im Southeast Asian bro. I think we both grew up with tons of highly religious people and strong traditions you cant easily question. For me, tradition holds you back from critical thinking, and I grew up without questioning because of the fear of punishment (physical and emotional abuse by parents, which is pretty normal to us) and fear of being judged (by former churchmates). I was an outcast many times in my life, and not even my family was close to me. When I started working I met a few people who accepted me for what I am and what I believe in, no matter our opinions differ. Empathy is important to relationships and this only comes when you remove prejudice in yourself. I agree with what you said that everything is temporary, and whenever I meet people who are so stuck in their own beliefs, treating their opinions as facts, know-it-alls and condescending people, these are the people I'm trying to distance myself from. I can't get through them and they're not willing to get through me either, no friendship happens, they just leave me annoyed.

[@missanthropy5687]

"more content you didnt subscribe for" - aha, you sir are WRONG! it was actually this type of content that got me to sub! Not only the introverted part, but the unique interest/few friends situation resonates strongly with me. good to see you're doing well man, chin up and utah gang represent :)

[@cryptodeveloper]

13:51 at my first software dev job, I used to take small breaks to go out for a smoke alone - you know, to have some alone time and to get some fresh air. Sometimes I would run into colleagues who used to smoke cigarettes as a group and they would tell me "you can't just smoke alone" .. I would think to myself like "bruh.. that's literally what I want to do, it's the best part of my day"

[@adivasi8277]

INTP here . Been looking for genuine content creators on youtube and your one of the very few my friend. Keep at it.

[@kellylynn88]

Some ppl just cant be alone with their own thoughts...and _that's_ not right...thats actually pretty terrifying. I cant imagine needing to constantly be around ppl to distract me from my own thoughts :(

[@Zuranthus]

i remember having a talk with someone once, i was talking about my art & stuff, the person comments "wow i would never be able to do something like that" i then asked if they never came up with stories or songs in their head, they shook their head...it was the first time i came to understand extroverts, they have nothing going on in their heads, that's why they always need people to be around with

[@andeleon6838]

@@Zuranthus I fucken laughed when you said they have nothing going on in their heads 🤣🤣🤣

[@dawngrimmel]

Dude, everything you said, especially in the first three minutes, describes my life to a T. I'm really glad I found this channel. The stuff you talk about is not only relatable, but also presented in a way as if talking to a friend, so it's very engaging and accessible too. So yeah, keep it up! 🤟

[@deadpoolshirtguy1996]

Seriouosly, thats probably the most engaging thing about his channel other than relatability. He talks so nonchalantly and like the people hes talking to are in the room. Very genuine guy i throw him on in the background when im trying to get out of a bad state of mind and it usually helps me get back on track like a friend giving you a talk.

[@ThyBenefitzz]

I would’ve guessed you were either an INTP or an INTJ by how you think. I’m an INTJ and the way you described your childhood was exactly how I was. I felt (and sometimes still feel) like I need to pretend to be human when interacting with other people. It seems NT types are a rare breed that think so differently to the rest. Continue to question everything, we have a gift of seeing through the ‘social norms’ and groupthink that you described, don’t let close minded people cloud your vision. I’m a relatively new subscriber and I hardly comment, but I felt the need as I relate to you so much. Don’t feel bad about having few friends, I always say it’s better to have few friends with deep connections, then a bunch of shallow fake friends.

[@pavelk7835]

I disagree. Hes an introverted estp thinker but not that heavy, hes an extrovert

[@TheLibran1]

@@pavelk7835 Hard to say because distorting situations can cause activations of the Demon and Shadow functions which can phase in and out or in worse cases "lock" in place pathologically. Also OVERCOMING trauma or learning new things can put say. A otherwise extreme extrovert in my case with the CAPABILITY of extroversion, but without the preference or optimization for it.

[@matth23e2]

Hasn't that test been scientifically disproven a bunch? lol

[@mgm8075]

@@matth23e2 It's just like IQ test; not a scientific measure but still pretty useful to a certain degree until we develop something better.

[@matth23e2]

@@mgm8075 IQ test is a scientific measure tho but yea it's a cool test it's annoying that people reduce their entire personality to 4 letters and say it explains everything they do lol.

[@prathameshtakane7354]

when people realize you are an introvert they instantly think like we are living the worst sad lonely life and they are the only superhero who can help us out of our "misery" what they dont see is they are the one using other people in their life as a support pillar, and on the other hand us introverts are selfsufficient and satisfied in our life and dont need other people to make us happy, we find happiness in our self and our life

[@sem8776]

Today in therapy with Joshua... Good content though

[@didine256]

A lot of us don't have friends, just acquaintances

[@andresjacome6200]

Most people don't, buy they like to think they do

[@BillClinton228]

People are such narcissists that they are not interested in befriending you unless they have some use for you. You can't even date anyone without them having a massive shopping list they need to check out just to qualify you, women are like... Car - Check, Money - Check, Education - Check, oh wait he's not 1.80 meters, he's 1.78m tall. Nope, not good enough, moving on.

[@SmoothCode]

People are sinners. The Bible makes it abundantly clear. Only the few are righteous. The wicked are SELF righteous. There is a difference.

[@WitchLuw]

yep sadly. Idk how those people have 3 or 4 all the time or sad and they are fine

[@sonjak8265]

In fact, when I let people get too close, many of them become toxic.

[@demolitionist42]

Haven’t had friends since high school and it’s actually a good thing. More time to focus on building a business etc.. Good authentic friends actually help each other progress in life. Authentic people are quite rare nowadays.

[@fabric1928]

​@saganist If they don't ever reach out are they really friends, or is the friendship more one sided? If the other isn't even willing to talk, whats the point of sustaining the friendship. Once you've naturally drifted apart you have de facto cut each other off anyways.

[@Kevin-it4fh]

@Garrett Nixon honestly, they might just be doing other things which includes hanging out with a few friends, or just not usually the type to reach out. I'd say that you would know through your interactions if they are genuine with you and would actually like spending time with you if you reached out to them.

[@thepanda9782]

I relate to this video a lot. Out of loneliness I've had some bad experiences where people I thought were friends relied on me heavily...but if I needed someone to talk to about my issues, or if I was trying to express my authenticity it was suddenly a burden or weird. When I went through a depressive episode at 18 and tried to off myself multiple times my 'friends' didn't reach out or try and help me recover. Yet they pretended to be woke and expected me to put up with explosive tantrums, self harming, and genuinely immoral behaviour (such as them being animal abusers bc of negligence). Because I recovered on my own and proved they had a choice in their toxicity, nobody cared when I was low or struggling and in some ways I became an enemy when I tried to show them how to fix it themselves or dared point out their limiting beliefs and behaviours. It was normal for me to give without getting anything back, and often I felt there was something wrong with me otherwise why would people treat me so poorly? I was always the most 'successful' one because of my intelligence and drive, and instead of being supported it was another thing that was used against me. But I was used to it so it felt normal...like I would never have friends who genuinely liked ~ME~. I gave up trying to make new friends, nobody really liked me anyway so why bother? If all I was valuable for was getting used by people then it was costly to have them. My breaking point was a roomate/friend who I moved in with out of pity. She claimed her partner was being abusive and she was scared, and needed an out. Early on it became clear she was super messy, couldn't pay her half of rent or other bills, and was very mentally unstable. At one point she started having breakdowns over not being able to afford a plane ticket to go see her sister. I offered to pay for it as a way to get a break from her constant drama, to try to help her put herself back together, and because I genuinely wanted to help my 'friend'. She had blown up on me and others before but she started throwing full on meltdowns with self harming behaviour. She became very controlling and manipulative, verbally and mentally abusive, etc. I couldn't talk to her about my boundaries let alone share my honest thoughts/ideas without getting blown up at and told I was the problem. She treated me like an ATM, maid, cook, and therapist. She would have friends over almost every single night, drink and blast music...but she tried to say I could only have my partner over twice a week, and if I left she would get mad that there wasn't anybody home to clean up after her. Overall, she was a hypocrite at best and quite possibly a covert narcissist at worst. For a while I was pretty hurt because this was someone who I felt I loved, who was my best friend...but through some meditating and outside witnesses I came to realize it was never like that on her end. I was just another resource to expend and she treated me and others in her life like garbage. Unfortunately I'm honestly really scared to make friends. I don't want to be used again but I've been conditioned that who I am authentically isn't enough. And maybe to a degree it is true? I don't like to talk unless it's something stimulating, and if I'm not taking care of my responsibilities I'd rather just relax at home or in nature (preferably both). At the same time, I have my partner. We are both INFP-Ts and it's been a relief living with someone who I understand and who also gets me. When I'm feeling lonely or discouraged for not having 'enough' friends, I remember that he has my back and reminded that quality of friendship is 10000x more important. Genuinely taking care of or looking out for someone doesn't have to be a one sided experience. I love him, and for once I know he loves me too.

[@mjyoussef7417]

Damn this is so real I feel Josh hacked my mind lol I came to the U.S alone and had the hardest time finding genuine people, especially here (San Francisco) where everyone is flaky, fake, throws complement at you, and sugar-coat everything, want you to believe in what they say (Oh you gotta be open-minded) WITHOUT QUESTIONING what they believe otherwise you are no one. It was rough at first. Being a programmer as well, most people I met were just interested in "disrupting the industry" and almost ALWAYS talked to me for that reason but not for my character. It changed me a lot because I did lose some genuine people in my life from just being too worried about how they'll screw me over or just take advantage of me. I was always sad and worried about I'll just be alone but honestly been VERY productive and couldn't have been happier. Yea it sucks that society is like this but it is what it is I guess.

[@cUser691]

Hard - transition to US to San Francisco... Yeah, lots of people get excited you’re a programmer so you can do all of their IT. Nice to trust others with a filter

[@mjyoussef7417]

Garrett Nixon This. I lived in Jordan, poor country, corrupt government and in most areas people’s relationships are their only wealth, and you can have whatever opinion and still maintain friendships (and I mean REAL friendships). This is why I got very shocked coming hereI especially that everyone speaks about American and how everything is perfect lol. I can’t speak for the entire US, but SF they all claim to be open minded until you disagree with them. Especially now everything that is political and you can’t even be yourself and pay outrageous rent. Still trying to find genuine people after living here for 8 years smh.

[@TheLibran1]

I hear this a lot about people who go to San Fran and LA. (I read a lot about travel online and also worked in hotel business for almost 15 years.) I have lived in Oklahoma and Arkansas and didn't really have those issues. (I traveled through more than that.)

[@TheLibran1]

People should realize that the US is 50 mini-countries, if you have a bad experience in ONE city in ONE state... Maybe you should leave there or at least not talk about "The US". :P

[@BCantley]

Josh! I viscerally agree with your principles on being true to yourself. Especially in church circles, you are conditioned to feel shame whenever you start to assert what YOU think, want, and feel. Be an individual. (You would love reading Kierkegaard by the way)

[@elenabob4953]

Josh, I think you haven't read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain :).

[@Holmie_Bytes]

I function quite well when I’m alone. I enjoy being an interovert. We might live very different lives, but I do genuinely like to keep tabs on your content etc to see how you are doing. The older I get the less friends I have, but just because you don’t hear from me often just know I still consider you a friend.

[@jamesfrost9380]

Being introverted isn't a bad thing, having only limited friends isn't a bad thing. Based on the fact you make youtube videos and on the content you provide it seems you are quite a sceptical person, again this is not necessarily a bad thing. That being said, it is good to be self aware and note that not everyone is out to get something from you, there are genuine people on this planet. You seem intelligent, trust your gut feelings, make friends by doing things you like with people who probably don't know who you are or what you do for a living. Have a hobby you enjoy such as archery, join a club. However, don't mention your salary (I saw your video when you mentioned telling your family how much you earn and regretting it), that you own property or anything that ties you to money as some people will naturally gravitate towards that and only see you as a possible source.

[@jonthomas9708]

My thoughts better expressed here. I think you're bang on it

[@nicholasc.5944]

men you have just given me valueable advice, have a like

[@ryanbarker3978]

Josh, growing up my dad was on the career climb and by the time I was eight, he was the CEO of a mid sized telecommunications business. I know exactly what you are talking about and am in a similar mental space about new people myself. It's honestly harder than it should be for someone else to earn my trust but like you said the 90% manipulative have ruined it for the 10% genuine and authentic. I keep a very close knit social group around me, but there isn't much I wouldn't do for the people who are in my life. Myers Briggs profiles me as an ISFJ-T which I honestly find pretty accurate. Just wanted to provide the reminder that you aren't alone and that there are people out there that can understand your point of view. You're doing some really amazing things with your life and honestly the standards you're holding your interpersonal relationships make the relationships you have with the people who are worth it that much more meaningful. Success and happiness are both extremely relative, the important part is that you find your own way to fulfilling both.

[@meesa8468]

I have no clue what your channel is usually about. The KZbin algorithm put your initial video about your family on my page. I've since been scrolling from that video 8 months ago and watching the ones related to your family and day to day life. Thank you for being so honest and unapologetically open about these topics. I am old enough to be your mom. My sons are 21 and 28. But my family is so toxic and similar to yours. It is a real struggle to come to terms with and to find your footing after recognizing that toxins being removed from your life is 100% the healthiest and most freeing gift we can give ourselves. It comes with pain and loss and grief and so many hard emotions. It isn't a easy choice. I am proud of you for deciding that you are in control of who you allow into your life. Those people should be able to bring to your life as much as you are willing to bring into theirs. I do think ending relationships with a parent is the hardest thing to do. I've tried and failed to stick to it. Always from self shame and self guilting messages I hear in my head. I know I deserve better. It's been 3 weeks since blocking contact options from my mother and it is liberating. It is always liberating. This time I need to stick it through and not give in when the next manufactured "family crisis" is used to rope me back in. I hope that whatever your life is about, (your dreams, career and overall life ambitions), that you always live strongly in the power that comes with acknowledging your own worth and not allowing anyone into your life that does not also acknowledge those things and honor them. Just a small thank you from a Canadian mom, evolving into being a introvert and loving the liberation from group think, toxic family mindsets, manipulation. If we love ourselves the way we deserve to be loved, we will accept only people into our lives capable of loving us the same way. Keep looking forward. You seem like a young man with a goal oriented and focused path ahead for yourself. I do hope you find a few cherished people that are trustworthy that can become your people. Families can be made in so many ways. I have my children and my partner. Little outside that. And that can be okay. This mom is proud of you

[@industrialjim826]

i appreciate the way you help me articulate my weird thought processes. i think quite the same as you but can never seem to explain myself to other humans and your vids definitely help

[@renatah_90s]

Hi Joshua, Just recently found your channel because of all the corporate jobs videos. I just wanted to say that I so appreciate you creating this video. It's very refreshing to see your authenticity, your honesty, and validation living as an introvert curious creative person. I relate so much to your family story, your experience at work, and also being an introvert. The one thing I Iive by, after so much disappointment with others is having really strong personal boundaries. As a giver it's easy to feel guilty for saying NO or setting limits but this is how we teach people how to treat us. I'm really happy you do KZbin and explain so many things I've thought about for a really long time. I wish you the absolute best and hope you can find friends that can appreciate you for being you not for what you can do for them. Many blessings 😃

[@duane8620]

Josh we have to have that guarded look towards people. Agenda's are all around us, we are in a selfish world where each person is used like a *tool* to use in their grand scheme. I have to say, your story was really mine since my grandad died years ago. My wife, she has the best thing and I know I am so very damn lucky to have that. Recognize it and bow my head daily in thanks, I seriously be gone if it wasn't for her. You're a good guy man, our scars from other make us stronger and smarter. There are people out there who will care about you, not what/who you are. Very true words and sadly, humanity has provine Josh right over and over again in all our lives. Just turn on the TV you'll see more of the same there, selfish, self serving world and we exacerbate the habit in pop culture along with social media "influencers". Introverts UNITE!

[@Searizeel]

Been following you since your gaslighting video. Didn't even know about the vocabulary until I stumbled upon your video. I like all your talks about life. It's just... true. I used to work for a company for 6 years, got soap allergies for it, broke my wrist at work, and all I got was constant blame for other people's mistakes because "I'm a leader". . Finally left that toxic place and working in a place with no income ceiling. My boss is the nicest I've met so far, and I'm just genuinely trying to help him out the best I can for as long as we both continue winning. . And I'm just pretty happy now. Working 2 jobs, I have better friends. Not the best income, but because of the better lifestyle, I'm saving more than I did back in the other job, even when my total earns is about 25% lesser. . Also, all your stuff about break ups, no trust, i get it man. I've trained over 200 part-timers. About 180 of them stabbed me and left me to bleed dry. It's amazeballs. This isn't even counting the colleagues I work with that did that to me. . Whelp, looking forward to you talking about the finer things in your life! Glad you have that plane thingy going and now hell froze over for your family shenanigans. Hope I could be as strong and successful as you one day. Gonna keep hustling with that self-sufficiency attitude. . Planning to fly to New Zealand to see a really cool organic peanut butter window. Then with any luck, hope I can shake your hand without ever using sanitizers (since I'm allergic to them anyways) in between. . All the best!

[@ChelovegII]

“The lesson of True Strength means rejecting strength that is not your own"

[@intuitivebanana]

Nice KOTOR 2 reference.

[@SauceyNoodle]

I felt this video, as an INTJ a lot of the time I think I’m not succeeding like other people because connecting with others doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m somebody who likes to be alone a lot and works best that way but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on valuable networking and friendships by not being in a discord server with other college kids. You’re a great example that I don’t need to pander to other people in order to be successful.

[@maestreiluminati87]

"The words family and friend are the most offensive words there are." - Louis Rossman " *FAN SPIN!* " - Also Louis Rossman

[@Zamsky39]

I think Louis and Josh could make some sort of a talk show. 12/10 would watch.

[@Skyline_NTR]

does Louis make your PPBUS G3_HOT as well? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@maestreiluminati87]

@@codycast Louis Rossman is a New York repairman that spends most of his time either pushing for right or repair, or fixing ipads. The quote comes from a rant of how your family and "friends" will often attempt to use their relationship with you to get one sided benefits, such as free professional work, freebies etc...

[@tvdavis]

Relatable content. I find that, as an introvert, there is very little accommodation in the world for us to not be constantly drained by forced human interaction. That feeling that people only want to be bothered when they need you for something, or they see that you are quiet & reflective by nature, so that means they are free to “talk at you” and you’ll sit there and listen. The #1 reason that I hate the office, and grocery shopping, and just trying to get through the day, is the constant expectation that you TALK to people, and give them unfettered access to you as a resource. When you’re down, or tired, or struggling, they are oblivious or judgmental. When they need/want something, your situation is of no importance. I can barely walk my dog because the anxiety of having to be trapped by my over-talkative neighbor is too much. I’ve got to walk the dog, rush back home, get ready for the job I don’t want to go to, rush to get things done that I don’t want to do…and now I’ve got to be stuck for 15 minutes in a conversation I don’t want to have, because my saying “uh huh” over and over & repeatedly looking at my watch while trying to walk away because my dog is pulling & NEEDS TO GO POOP isn’t enough of a hint that I just want to be left the hell alone.

[@leosolis5846]

Very relatabl. As a fellow introvert myself I have the same struggles where I've been taken advantage of for being too nice. I've been hurt and treated badly for not knowing how to properly defend myself. That in turn has made me distance myself from people not cuz I wanted to to rather to protect myself. Although I do believe their are some good people out their, I live my life alone most of the time and do most things on my own thanks to God. Thanks for sharing Josh. it's good to know their are others out their..

[@TheImmortalBukkit]

Same here! Being an introvert is not the worst thing. :)

[@mochimochiato3117]

As an introvert myself, I can relate with this video and I'm glad found this channel. I have problem with my family with different kind story. I'm struggling with it. My journey with 30 years brought me to try to find my inner peace. I used spiritualism (not religion) as a way to channeling my anxiety, to find who i am, to find what i need to do with my life. It help me a lot. Your story of life that you share and your self reflection video. I'm happy to listening. I don't know, but its give me kind of energy. "you not alone". thank you Josh with your video. I'm introvert, I'm doesn't have any close friend, I'm alone but not lonely.

[@douglasrobinson8491]

Love this video; really hits home with a lot of my same views... Especially the thing about other people being really cold, hard to make friends, etc. This last year I realized that a lot, after moving to Cancun and seeing the really insane difference in the way people treat each other... Everyone here is open to each other and will sit around and talk for hours, genuinely, with strangers. It's really changed the way I look at life. If you ever head out here - drinks on me. But don't go to the resorts, they'll take your money, you can get a hotel downtown (where the cool local things are) in cancun for $20-30 us per night and it's worth it to do that instead of the resorts anyway.

[@jaytheamaturecook]

As an introvert myself, I can totally relate to this video.

[@_equalo]

I think being a public figure like you are makes it even harder to find authentic people at this point in your life. But at the same time, having such a hard past where you get screwed over so many times has helped prepare you to handle all the fakeness. You kinda are going in reverse. Most people start with a decent number of authentic people in their lives, and then get exposed to more inauthentic people out in the real world. You started with a lot of inauthentic, and so you end up being exposed to authentic people later in life and it seems abnormal and makes you wonder if there’s an ulterior motive.

[@cUser691]

Agreed, he got burned so hard to recognize genuine people.

[@rainamarie9353]

Man watching your videos you are seriously an empath... you have a heart awwww

[@BarrySlisk]

"I don't keep friends. In times of war they can give up valuable information about you" Carlton Banks, Fresh Prince of Bel Air

[@vorval96]

cool now smile for the cringe camera, I'm taking your pic

[@kattihatt]

vorval96 youre kinda cringey dude.

[@vorval96]

@@kattihatt actually you?

[@ShadowMan5563]

vorval96 cheese.... 😰

[@undertheovertones]

Thank you for making this video. Definitely related to it a lot, especially talking about how being an introvert isn't because I don't like people (fuck people that label all introverts as just "anti-social", maybe my #1 pet peeve), but because I have been used and abused by so many people that I just don't know who I can genuinely trust not to take advantage of me. Really sorry about all the jerks taking advantage of you when you are already down from being taken advantage of by others. That's really a low blow, and I know how it only just further proves the point to yourself that you so few people will return back to you what you invest selflessly in them.

[@leeshacm]

INTJ watching your videos here and I'm identified with a lot of what you say, keep it up 😊 your material has a lot of depth.

[@RiosRa-ar]

Man, you are gold. Thanks for sharing things so personal.

[@bhenry3550]

Hello,Josh. Your content is interesting to watch, from a while ago to now. I started watching about the time you were trying to get your dad started. You do remind me of a lot of my own experiences but with a great insight and perspective that's really rare . Been there .. From the childhood , church , spending huge amounts of time & cash supporting ingrate relatives to the world of the the corpo coder. In case you're wondering corpo world has been like this a long time . You really call it on that world of use and dispose groupthink land of darkness. I'm glad you wised up early. IT hasn't changed except for the SW . Corpo world has only got worse and more juvenile. Recruiters & resumes , crappy gigs & worse bosses - same BS, they haven't learned anything useful. I was older when the light finally dawned. Always had the attitude though. I finally did the " consulting " gigs , made real money , started a company that had nothing to do with IT and never wrote another line of code for cash . That was 20 years ago . Couldn't be happier. Except when I have to deal with the corporate customers , vendors , etc. who are pretty much the same in any business. Sucks about the family stuff but you did the right thing . Enjoy your freedom . Have fun flying too . A friend of mine is a business jet pilot . Flies when he feels like it and has other businesses . He likes it . I wouldn't get too hung up on the idea of making money with your own plane , vary expense as you know . But maybe that's your path . I wish you all the best on your business and life going forward. PS I don't have a " great business idea " to pitch , I don't want your money , I'm not selling anything and I'm not buying anything either. Just enjoying your videos and glad there's others out there who got out of the " obligation " world . Maybe you're helping others just by showing it's possible.

[@freethinker3083]

Your words are truly refreshing. I am so tired of people thinking I’m being negative or cynical when I’m reality a lot of things I say is just what most wouldn’t typically say out loud. I appreciate your honesty and the depth you go into in your videos. Honestly you feel like the friend that I have always wanted around. Someone who you can just have a really open and honest conversation with that understands life outside of social norms. Thank you for your content. ❤️

[@robdeluksschmidt]

Hey Josh! I am a super mega introvert as well. I can definitely relate. I have worked in highly social situations, everything from bar-tending to managing 100's of people. I learned the skills necessary to survive, but I could never keep it going for long. I always end up a quiet recluse with very few real friends. I will be honest, I prefer it that way, sincerely. I am sure you feel the same way. In my experience, introverts are often a product of their families. We learn not to trust from the people we should be trusting the most. It makes us better at seeing through people to be honest. I love my time , and I love that I get to spend it with someone I appreciate, me. You do you bro, and keep up the great work. Cheers.

[@PieroCascio75]

Mate not everyone wants to take advantage of you and for sure, many of them will but having this feeling of not trusting people can be very harmful for your sanity and your life. I do hope, from the deepest of my heart, that you will find good people that will help you changing your mind about this. There are good people out there but you have to look at them with trustful eyes or you will never see them even when they are in front of you. I believe you are a great guy based on what you've coming trough. Sending you love and I do hope that sooner or later (better the sooner), you will get a bit less bitter about this. You are doing a super great job especially on yourself because at least you're continuously questioning yourself. Oh by the way, I'm an introvert myself so I definitely relate with what you said. Wish you all the best Joshua.

[@symean]

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. Love your videos mate, wish you all the best and hello from Australia!

[@cbisabelle]

I appreciate your honesty so much. Thank you.

[@bryanstark324]

I really admire your insight. No joke. And not trying to get something from you. Just appreciate what i can relate to.

[@kevinmurphy8431]

"Wow, I really think we share the same mindset. I know what it's like to have no friends too so if you need a lending ear, I'm here for you. Anyway, wanna do a startup with me? Remember if you say no I'll say you don't care about your true fans like me!"

[@Kevin-it4fh]

@MattAufF5 those are the types of people that would backstab you if it meant that they could get ahead

[@phee3D]

I've been watching josh's videos for a while now he barely had 100k subs at the time, I always did relate to a lot of things you say in your videos and stop saying "welcome to content you didn't sign up for" this is exactly what I like to see, I don't watch corporate cringe videos, it was fun at first but I find them boring as of now probably because i'm no longer looking for a job or anything. This is the only content I like to see. but anyways, the things in this video have been THE most relatable to me than anything else you've said before. I've been saying this forever that 90% of the things we do in our life is because we were raised to do those things. Which includes religion, I'm from a muslim country, pakistan, and its a joke here. most of the people just follow the religion because that's what they were told and they can't imagine EVER questioning it. Can you imagine following a religion which tells you basically what to do in your whole life and what not to do just because that's what everyone around you is doing? They don't even accommodate the fact that there is NOTHING wrong with questioning your own religion if you have doubts. The real sin would be to just follow it blindly because you were told to do so. and the religion thing is just an example, this is how people live their whole lives. This is how people form their opinions. By doing what everyone else is doing and believing what everyone else believes. And you dare question any of that? boy you are a sinner, an attention seeker, and just straight up crazy. I swear the world would be much more amazing if people were more genuine, had real opinions instead of opinions which are hugely influenced by what others think and most importantly questioned what they thought was wrong and do what they really want to do. and pls, when I say people I'm not saying all people. I just mean most people.

[@RY-fe3rt]

You're speaking my language! I'd offer my friendship, but I can't risk sacrificing my alone time tbh. 😁

[@mostafaelnahass3790]

I remember in college the so called friends would only message or call me when they needed something. After graduation when I wish them "Happy Birthday" they just give me the "it has been a long time let's chat" A few messages and they ghost coming from an INTJ

[@tyreecrowder1322]

This is the realest fucking video you have ever made I really appreciate this video

[@dfgjhskfjgh]

More reflection content please! And thank you for the upload.

[@southerncoyote]

The real ones be just chillin. Like I empathize with you but I know you got this so I’m not sending emails or reaching out because I know you are gonna get through this. Stay strong.

[@atlfun08]

I really needed to hear this. No one is looking out for me. Lucky for me am a badass that can handle this ish!

[@learnwithlaura3]

It´s amazing that we have so many options to work from home today... The Internet is a blessing for introverts.

[@4b978]

Completly true, same with me, I only help people who help me or to people who don't ask for help but I see they need it

[@sajanah1253]

These videos man.. hearing your story makes me relieved and depressed also hopeful and optimistic..

[@mrgoldyblocks7935]

Push me to the edge all my friends are ...

[@user-ui3dn3rj1z]

died

[@andre5468]

ded

[@amiiiu]

Dead

[@jaynotonyoutube1808]

Non existent

[@xalzor740]

back

[@THUNDERCLAW999]

Dude... you have definitely been through a lot and trust me, i understand. It can feel incredibly lonely and hopeless not being able to trust anyone and it give little hope for the human race. I've definitely been there myself, the thing i try to do is always give people the benefit of a doubt that they have good intentions. but im always aware and very observant (like urself) for the first sign of fakeness.

[@williamlin9360]

I really relate to you when it comes to noticing the hypocritical tendencies of people and distancing myself from them. I imagine internet people like in person and if someone were like that to me in person I’d just ignore them in the street... I’m sorry about the non-reciprocity. After seeing all the things you needed some help on and staying so mentally strong still, I really admire your agency and I hope you maintain a strong mental health not because many people look up to you, but because everyone deserves that.

[@mcphersong5528]

You put it into words so well!!!!

[@Snowi_93]

Dude it's great you understand the difference of being lonely and being alone! I've struggled so much with that my whole life. The only thing that worries me a bit about this, is that I wouldn't like you falling into distancing yourself from people to be safe. I know it's a gamble, and you'll get let down a lot, but you'll also find good things along the way. Don't lose hope! Been following you for a while. Best of luck to you buddy.

[@IsaacDozier1]

"Beautiful people never know who to trust." - Drax the Destroyer The more you have the give, the more others will take. That's thermodynamics in a nutshell. Even physics agree.

[@ProgZ]

Yeah, finally ! It is the episode I subscribed for! I love these sad and depressing videos ;)

[@sandyknowles5638]

I'm just discovering your channel today, I came from the "your family disowning you" vid and I am legit a version of you. lol. Im INFP/TP. :') I love the little cutscenes of your experiences in your videos too. Hearing your story and seeing you come into your own puts a smile on my face. Subbed!

[@michaeldavidlevick1760]

Infp. I agree it is very hard to get out of the ok what do they want from me mentality. I'm 35 and I still struggle with it. There are days that I want to hide from the world and never see another person again but I know that there are still good people out there. I do my best to be one of those good people. I grew up in Christianity and was taught 'give everything over to God, and he will provide' but I came to the realization that it is up to us to provide for our selves. Like I said I'm 35 and still learning to be self sufficient. I know you have heard it before and have become leery of people saying it but if you need some to listen or bounce ideas off of don't hesitate to hit me up.

[@cbisabelle]

I feel for you and can relate to you. Stay strong Josh, you're doing great! I know it's not easy, but you're doing great. You're a very strong person, and I appreciate you sharing your experience, as we can all learn from it

[@waelx30]

INTP and I relate to this video so much. Keep up the good work !!

[@bernierodgers9409]

You have amazing self awareness. Good attribute.

[@jaffaorange3809]

After watching one or two (dozens) videos of yours, finding this one came at the right time. It's great to learn a bit more about you at this point. It explains the motivations behind your actions and preferences. Appreciate it! Will keep watching more!

[@ChristianReeveOfficial]

Josh will never read this, but I would actually be friends with him. We think very similarly, and I find myself nodding my head listening to his videos all the time aha. Totally get where you're coming from. I'm nice to everyone I meet, but I won't let them take advantage of me or use me. Too many times in the past I was too giving of myself, my time, my money etc, and then found myself wondering why I would not receive the same kindness in return. Nowadays I spend all my time alone, and seldom talk to, or trust anyone. It's actually kinda funny how many people get in touch with me after months or even years and ask how I'm doing, only then to request stuff. If you don't care about me, and you just want something from me, get out of my life lol. Keep being you Josh, you rock!

[@RielAngelino]

I don’t even code. I found and subscribed to your channel for the videos on your personal life you make. They are helpful and inspiring to many.

[@vrandatandon3790]

Damn! You are an INTP!!! Wow that's why i have always related to ur personality...

[@PhuPhillipTrinh]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Josh, enjoyed your talks.

[@paulbrzeski4237]

Josh, you are nailing sentiments, experiences and observations I had never even realised were my own. Thanks for that. Your channel is basically a support group for tired coders

[@bradleystassin1486]

You're my mentor Josh! Thank you for all the advice you give. :)

[@twentysix37]

I can relate to that, always watching what people are doing and trying to understand their reason for doing it. Also about you kinda saying it's hard to find people to listen, I've found it's hard to get people to share, there is alot of people who'll stick to chit chat and shallow topics. So I you're lucky you can think and express deeper things, especially on such a public forum. You probably have thousands of offers but I think it would be cool to talk to you about whats on your mind.

[@justinTime077]

I think I am a lot like you Jizzle. No wonder i like hearing your thoughts and what you've got to say. I really relate with how you say you would think of things as a kid, and find a lot of hypocrisy. Even as like a 7 year old i was like, Sunday school is BS, these people are freaks. Then i quickly was like, well, mom - Santa Clause and god aren't that different. You just told me santa was fake, so... um.. I 100% agree a lot of people are like NPCs to me.. as if they don't THINK about their circumstances .. Totally unconscious of their self serving, manipulative, hypocritical BS. They also can't handle someone that's honest and open unlike themselves. Really makes them squirm. I also CANNOT stand the corporate hivemind, and gaslighting of you when you question the nonsensical "norm." People are at a point where being walked on is expected, and almost respected... it's crazy.

[@cudderson94]

What you resist, persists. I hope this doesn't come off as tone-deaf. You have a great head on your shoulders and a big heart man. I just think you need to completely accept what has happened, and find closure in forgiveness. Doesn't mean you have to ever talk to or trust them again, but by holding a grudge or these negative thoughts, you really haven't gotten over it, it's like it's still happening. It's easier said than done, but just wanted to say something in case it helps. Thanks for the inspiring channel, hope you kind find peace of mind ❤️ Your channel made me not quit coding

[@Each2TherOwn]

This is why I like your channel. Raw, Real with good production. ,thats more adult then 10mil sub kid friendly KZbin. A channel for introverts another perspective many are to afraid to show.

[@TomeRodrigo]

You have absolutely nothing I could benefit from so not to worry, I like to support people because it is naturally in my blood (I an ENFJ) and I am supporting people who have nothing to offer me. I've offered you in some other video (probably where you were talking about some of your ex and some loneliness) if you want someone to chat you can, I am here (while I have some time on my hands). I am alone in a different country I know very well what loneliness is and I also had the wrong girl, who messed up with my mind. Also, I can see that you feel paranoid which is normal, in this world, I feel the same way with people, therefore even I am an extrovert I am not looking to socialize that much. But as you have a girlfriend and success on the youtube channel I believe that you have your needs met these days, which is great. Good luck to you + with your channel.

[@SScampo]

Well I like this guy, all I want is to see how you grow in the next little while. Keep doing your thing! You are asking the questions others are scared of, it WILL be lonely at times but people feel this anyways.

[@Jumpzallnight]

I feel that bro. Just keep your head to the tracks and get what you want out of life. I find the quote from A field of dreams "if you build it they will come" is true in even a metaphysical interpretation. Build your life man and when you find your joy and not your excuses you'll see those around you and know they matter.

[@tammymoorman7985]

As an introvert myself, I can completely relate to every single word you’ve said in this video!

[@TheReal_ist]

As someone who hates relying on anyone for anything as it usually no most definently leads to issues in the future. I also resonate with this while not well viewed video who cares those 50k ppl like u and me are able to chat with others like us in these comments. Its a good feeling knowing that while most people are extrovert types that love to play the game of life and chase your own or someone elses tail over and over and over again. We dont and thats ok. Which is just so comforting to here from u Josh but also all of the others in these comments. Good luck u guys and stay safe. :)

[@highlevels6024]

Josh you're the man .

[@jb2kewl]

I really appreciate getting your honest opinion about different topics on your channel. I could definitely relate to a lot of what you were talking about. :)

[@andrewwilson6769]

True introvert. now i see why i live your videos. : )

[@reaper545454]

Spot on as usual!! Keep up the good work!

[@pri2x0x]

As a fellow introvert, and a therapist, I think its important to release certain social expectations around quantity and other superficial aspects of relationships. Keep the relationships that enrich you mentally, emotionally, etc. and all the wonderfully authentic aspects of Joshua. People let us down, but that's just people. Don't allow others' lack of growth and awareness to close your heart and diminish all that you are and have to offer. Sending good thoughts (and hugs).

[@Shdnfncidjen]

Shit man you gotta ignore those toxic comments you're out here getting it by yourself man. Mad respect

[@PeterBlindman]

Another introvert here, can totally relate to not following the hivemind and being wary of people, and so many other things you mentioned. Thanks for being authentic and for sharing your thoughts. Always nice to be reassured that there's nothing wrong with needing to have time alone.

[@Saturn2888]

I can totally relate to this video. Never thought of myself as an introvert, but I wouldn't argue with your definition either. Nice to hear this from someone else. After removing the bad (incompatible) people from my life, I noticed I don't have many friends anymore. Can't hang out or do anything. To me, this video is extremely relatable.