why i left christianity & i don’t think god exists. (an ego death)

[@00st307-m]

always think it’s funny when people brag about an ego death as an accomplishment (“I killed god”), and then go on to make a *public statement* about it. 🎶 isn’t it ironic 🎶 ‘Ego death is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity”’. Most people who really go through this don’t talk about - bc it’s usually a socially shamed experience - like psychosis, near death experience, grief or complete failure / identity breakdown.

[@thought_bug]

I considered this before making this video! I don’t think we can say someone *hasn’t* had a certain experience just because they’re talking about it publicly. I like making videos and talking about things I find interesting! I also went back and forth on the phrase “I killed god” as some people may interpret that as a grander statement than I mean… I settled on using it because 1) I *did* put an end to my perception of god. God was something I internally experienced and that now ceases to exist. 2) gotta hook the viewers some how 😏

[@ay2257]

Sounds like you're getting hung up on definitions and other people's experiences my guy

[@merryharrypop]

gate keeping growth and changing by saying you should actually be ashamed of it… yeah, sounds cringe L

[@mouna8720]

i understand what the op is saying, but i really want to emphasize as someone who went through psychosis (i was born and raised in a muslim family. my maternal and paternal lineage have been muslim since islam was first introduced to west africa centuries ago), it's hard to talk about this because it is embarrassing. i lost friends, work, family members, and so much more when i went through my ego death and perspective collapse. it quite literally still haunts me. like our fave little thought bug here, it really hit the fan for me around my mid-twenties specifically 23-25. i appreciate her for making this video because the reason why i struggle to talk about it IS because it's humiliating. i have felt so much power and gratitude for this life transformation and this grieving process, but no one arounds me understands... at all. so even when i have tried to talk about it people just see me as a "fuck up" or "lazy". MANY people don't ever question their lives and/or perspectives like this until they're middle age--if that. so it's important to highlight the reasons WHY people don't talk about it instead of shaming those who have the courage and understanding of WHY it's worth making public statements about. so again THANK YOU THOUGHT BUG for making this video. i think we can hold space for this comment while also acknowledging the great importance of creating a video like this. it's because it's important, necessary, and life-altering.

[@tpbloomfield]

"Most people who really go through this don't talk about it - bc it's usually a socially shamed experience" To me, that's exactly why people SHOULD talk about it. Much like the other things you mentioned, that should also be talked about more (grief especially, we need to normalise talking about grieving already!). A complete loss of self-identity can be really damaging psychologically; trying to mentally rebuild who you are in your own eyes is no easy task, before even getting into dealing with the social complications and stigmas that come from doing so - potentially losing friends and family, feeling unwelcome or uncomfortable in places you once viewed as safe, etc. In my opinion, we should be encouraging people to talk about going through these things more, stop letting it be socially shameful, so that when others go through it they know they're not alone in the pain and conflict they're feeling.

[@lesbemo]

something this video made me think about is how important choice is. i really admire how you can find positives and not resent your past beliefs. i also am no longer christian, but i was raised christian and had no choice and i honestly couldnt find a single positive ive gained from that experience. idk it might not be very relevant but i think being able to choose your own beliefs, even if you abandon them later, will entirely change your perspective of them.

[@VENOMdeVINO]

Very relatable thoughts and experiences you shared there!!

[@_aPaladin]

you never had a choice to be Christian? That doesn't sound very Christian at all? Being a Christian, means you choose to follow Christ, take him as your "LORD" and "SAVIOR". Meaning you obey his commands, and do his will. Am I missing something? I find it ironic that self identified christians are deconstructing something they don't even understand or know?

[@tommore3263]

I'm a Catholic, and fully agree. I reject the protestant notion of blind faith and anti intellectualism. After all, God is why reasoning works and why the universe.. His Universe.. is INTELLIGIBLE. God is obvious. Its important to face doubts and uncertainties. THAT is the path to truth where God is truly found. Good luck.

[@VENOMdeVINO]

@@tommore3263 is it Good Luck or God Luck you meant there?

[@VENOMdeVINO]

@@_aPaladin if that's what you got out of that comment you just went on a diatribe while missing the point. Meaning we just read some kind of lecture on the wrong topic. Stick to the subject. Read it again if you decide to reply to me as well. Thanks

[@CSTBFO_jad]

Well said. I’ve gone through a similar process in recent years. The real tipping point for me was understanding that saying “I don’t know” is a much more humble, honest, and human response during arguments, rather than trying to convince others (and myself) that what I believed was true.

[@benharwin6521]

Yay new video! I found your channel from the Jeremy Kyle video. I have watched all your videos since. Thank you for all you do here ❤️

[@thought_bug]

Thank you so much for coming back and supporting my videos ❤

[@PrzemyslawSadula]

I simply remove judgment, sins, guilt, shame, guilt and contempt from my life, I also reject things like hell, the devil, evil, etc. I have just started living my way from within and I simply feel better in my everyday life. And in the end there is no such thing as failure it is just human experience.

[@etakarinae248]

Yeah, and unicorms exist. Truth is not what you wish

[@truthseeker1594]

To find the truth in this life and answer the question of whether God is real, we need to look at the bigger picture of the world. It is essential to study the history in the Bible, where many predictions have come true. Events such as the rise and fall of empires and the coming of Jesus were foretold in its texts. For example, prophecies in the Old Testament about Jesus' birth, life, and death were written centuries before they happened. These fulfilled predictions are seen by believers as proof of the Bible’s divine inspiration, indicating that its messages were guided by a higher power. We also need to realize that while technology and science have advanced, Satan is even more clever and deceptive. This planet is not a quiet, isolated place in the universe but the main battleground between good and evil forces. If you are truly honest in your heart and seek the truth, read The Great Controversy by Ellen White. This book, available for free online, offers historical facts about Christianity, the rise of false teachings, the devil's deceptions in the church, and much more. If you have any doubts about God's existence, simply ask Him if He is real. I promise you, if your intentions are sincere, God will absolutely answer you. Finally, we must all confront the ultimate question: we will all die one day. If you believe in God and He is real, you have nothing to lose. But if you don’t believe, and God is true, then your entire life is a great loss.

[@realglutenfree]

​@@etakarinae248 Exactly, truth is not what you wish. So why should God exist but not unicorns? We don't have any evidence for either and people claim to have seen both.

[@etakarinae248]

@@realglutenfree I know that God exists because He spoke to me, right to my heart. I dont want to convince other people, but I know what I know and what I experienced. That is different to unicorns and fairytales. I pray, you will experience God one day and then know for yourself.

[@realglutenfree]

@@etakarinae248 Then why does God only show himself to some people and expects the rest of humanity to just believe in him? Doesn't make any sense to me. Why stay vague and then punish people for eternity just cause you feel like it

[@iggy_the_enby_iguana532]

This was very thought-provoking and made me think and reflect on my own experience with christianity and realize that I need to practice some radical acceptance in my life right now, too. Also, love love love your videos keep up the great work 🥰

[@thought_bug]

Wishing you the best on your journey 🫶🏼

[@Maery-997]

Oh my gosh I would love to talk to you about this! I’m a Christian but love taking about other people’s perspective!

[@oompa3268]

My thought with religion is that we, as humans have a brain that can come up worlds, universes, etc. of an immense expanse. There are reasons to believe is something greater than you. Some people need that, some people do not. The mindset of everything happens for a reason, or predefined destiny was always a point of conflict for me. The age-old question of ‘why does God let bad things happen to good people’ even though endless debate, always left me with more and more resistance to the idea of a higher power. I think I naturally questioned religion (I grew up catholic and never really had a ‘relationship’ with God, it was more of a looming presence) from a young age. The two sides of Christianity I’ve experienced, like you said is a very fear-based teaching, ‘you’re worthless and should cower before God’ and ‘God loves you, he made you in his perfect image’. So, I should love something I fear? It never made sense. One of my biggest reasons for stepping away from religion in general was the fact that, an all-powerful being, infinite power, created the universe, care about me believing they exist? Why? Why does it matter that a person so infinitesimally small in a such a vast cosmos believes in the existence of their creator. Anyway, loved the video keep up the amazing work.

[@rikk319]

The concept that you should be required to love someone you fear is the essence of an abusive relationship, and groups that endorse this concept tend to be cults, regardless of any other terms they call themselves (religions).

[@a.h.i267]

@@rikk319 god gave us free will. He gave you the free will to believe that he is not real. Psalms 14:1 Whether you believe in God or not, I can’t change that - that’s the job of the Holy Spirit not me- it doesn’t make him any less real.

[@edbeastgaming]

⁠@@a.h.i267what do you think “free will” means in that passage? The ability to will? Freedom of will? Something else?

[@GeoffreyMorrison-xh2eo]

​@@rikk319Thanks! That's a great angle I had never considered! Of course it, and they, are abusive.... "Never the twain shall meet!" Kipling

[@GeoffreyMorrison-xh2eo]

​@@a.h.i267So tiresome and dull. The Bible is just a book--cobbled together by David, Samuel, and the Romans. Let me put it this way: You consider that crazy, earthly book on the same plane with God. Of course, you must agree: That's ludicrous! Shouldn't you fear offending God, thus? Your cudgel is forever gone!: Ahhh!

[@fayeinoue7455]

this was very interesting to hear the perspective of a former christian who wasn't raised into the ideology, i am also a former christian who was very much raised in a christian family with a very sheltered childhood but even though i've admitted to myself i'm a non-believer for several years now i feel like i'm still in that period of grief, and that could be because my religious upbringing was very intense and all encompassing but it could also be because the loss of my christian faith was only the first domino to fall in a long row of harmful and problematic ideologies i've since had to challenge and ultimately discard meaning not only is my world view now very different in terms of religion and spirituality, basically my entire perception of existence has been flipped on its head and recovering from that has been very difficult, i'm still figuring it out but hopefully i'll get there someday. anyways great video thank you for sharing your experience.

[@kavehsankles]

This sounds similar to my experience, it's a lot for someone to go through, and it can be really tough, especially when the religion is all encompassing and feels like your whole life. You're brave for going through that, I hope things feel better for you soon

[@Sovvyy]

The concept of an infinite punishment for a finite crime just feels infinitely unjust. Enjoyed the video!

[@felixmeier3298]

Where does the notion of infinite punishment originate? How can one receive eternal punishment without being granted eternal life? Eternal punishment presupposes immortality, yet eternal life is not universally bestowed, particularly not to those in Hell. Without immortality, the idea of eternal punishment lacks logical coherence, especially considering its exclusion from those who are not granted eternal life.

[@grapetoad6595]

​@@felixmeier3298 it is easily logically cohesive even without eternal life; deprivation is a type of punishment (e.g. prison's only (intended) punishment is the deprivation of liberty) so even if you don't believe in a literal hell and only in annihilationism, there is still a punishment in that some people get eternal life and reward for following the rules in a book without any evidence which has the main character committing atrocities, whereas the nicest person in the world wouldn't get in if they didn't believe. Let alone the different doctrines between Christians about what constitutes a godly life.

[@Lox_128]

​@@grapetoad6595 Who are you to decide what's moral and what's not?

[@Sovvyy]

​@@Lox_128 For me, I don't think any one person decides what is understood to be moral/imoral in society, instead we communicate and advocate our moral intuitions. This leads to objective observations about morality in groups from which we form social contracts. I think your question however implies an objective morality (sort of monolithic) and dismisses the validity and authority of the person, rather than responding to the content. A better question might have been "how do you determine right from wrong?".

[@Lox_128]

@@Sovvyy Sometimes the validity and authority of the person needs to be disregarded... but who am I to say that I could do such a thing and that they are objectively wrong and I am objectively right? It can't be as simple as a group consensus because what if you end up with a Nazi Germany situation? An entire nation (for the most part) adopts an anti-Semitic sentiment and views the discrimination, persecution and eventual eradication of a race of people as objectively morally good. They were able to do that because they haven't grounded morality in anything, one guy just made it up by himself. As for "how do you determine what's right and what's wrong" - well that's what the moral argument is all about. Some evolutionist type people say that it's ingrained within us as a requirement for our own existence (we as a species couldn't survive if we raped / cannibalised / were cruel to one another... even though lots of animals do exactly that, so I'm not sure about the strength of that argument, but that's probably for another discussion), whereas others say we get it from a higher power. The problem is that for as long as we have existed, humans have done bad things and believed them to be good, so the instinct either doesn't exist or isn't respected. Either way, you arrive back at subjectivity. The other solution gives us objectivity outside of ourselves. I'm not saying that that's the right answer here - I'm happy to sit on the fence for the purpose of the argument. :)

[@Louis--]

This is a great video, it's really nice hearing you applying your considerate analysis of yourself. Keep up the good work.

[@raffertymetcalfe]

Inb4 all of the comments trying to convert you back with a KZbin comment 😂

[@thought_bug]

😭😭

[@alphaomega1351]

​@londonapologetics Negative 👎! All of the major selling points christian ✝️ mythology have been disproven. Unfortunately, brainwashed people chose to ignore evidence. 😳

[@davroscaan1318]

​@@Reclaimtherainbow_Gen9prove I don't have an invisible flying unicorn.

[@ehenningsen]

​​@@Reclaimtherainbow_Gen9 You can not prove that a unicorn doesn't exist. Therefore, it is real. Same for fairies, Zues, Thor, Enki, and 3000 other gods

[@ehenningsen]

@@Reclaimtherainbow_Gen9 By order of transitive arguments, you declared your claim to be rookie level.

[@Godless-Being]

You’re doing the right thing. After leaving Christianity myself, it was a weight off my shoulders. Now I can think for myself and even if I am still depressed.

[@Yeshua777Hamashiach]

Of course, the road to eternal damnation is wide, the way is easy, but the end is death. The path to life is small and hard, but it leads to eternal life. Don't be deceived, friend, try again, give God a chance! It's the end of time.

[@Godless-Being]

@@Yeshua777Hamashiach the amount of times that I’ve tried have all ended up in failure. How can I be going down the road of eternal damn nation if I don’t believe in it

[@Haromori-oq8cs]

@@Godless-BeingIt’s real, no matter if you deny it or not. It’s real.

[@addy8078]

Every believer that I know was either raised in a Christian household or converted in adulthood after a traumatic experience. I’ve never heard of a kid having christianity as their childhood hobby! I can tell this will be one hell of a story

[@sebaspc2445]

Me

[@a.h.i267]

Yeah, I was the same way. My dad was a pastor and still is. I never understood. Literally every church service I went to from age 13 through 18 I hid in the bathroom the entire duration. I would bond over hating the church with other ppl my age- we would get drunk and high during church services and hide in the car (lol). Raves, Alcohol Drugs, New Age, Agnosticism were what i made of my life. Living a fast life. I had an encounter with God literally three weeks ago. It made me realize I cannot run my life better or different than the course that God knows I will follow in my life. I stopped fighting for my life and just gave it to God. Church hurt is real. They don’t explain a lot of things to you thoroughly as a kid. I get it. But Christianity is more than the church and laws- its about giving your life to Christ so he can run it for you. I don’t expect you to wrap a finite mind around the infinite, but it also just makes more sense that you let an infinite being run your life, rather than you who’s only been alive for less than 100 years to do it.

[@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin]

My wife had Christianity as a hobby. She’d spend Saturday nights at friends’ houses just to go to church with them on Sunday. 26 years with her now. She’s so amazing.

[@michaeljarmula439]

I was one of those people who got into Christianity by choice as a child. But then I drifted away from it as a young adult.

[@josephang9927]

Umm people always change ideas when something change, or raised on it. That is not unique to Christianity.

[@user-ck2fz2uc3n]

This was absolutely fantastic! Discovered you recently and absolutely love the content!

[@Gabagool4Christ]

It’s just crazy because my ego death took me out of atheism and general spirituality to Christ. We are strange creatures that’s for sure :)

[@dreamy.izzy26]

Ego??

[@mandylynn260]

That just shows me that belief and spirituality are subjective to the psyche. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. There’s no right or wrong answer in the end the human experience is complex and unique to everyone in their own ways.

[@schnitzelfilmmaker1130]

I’m a Christian, but definitely appreciate the honesty you showed in this video. Videos on this topic from Christians and non-Christians can tend to get very silly, but there were many things you said that not only displayed honesty but demanded that what you said was taken seriously, and things that as a Christian I’ve also noticed

[@thought_bug]

@@schnitzelfilmmaker1130 thanks so much for watching!

[@johnsmith-tq5zn]

You kinda lost me at "I'm a Christian." 😅

[@uberdonkey9721]

Fundamentally as Christians, we are to follow the truth - in what we say, how we live. Both Christians and non-Christians can just end up deceiving themselves, so as long as we have integrity, we are on the right path. In the end it is God who brings us Grace, and we don't get there through logical analysis and book reading.

[@LogicStandsBeforeGod]

@@thought_bug Two anecdotal experiences posted by two fellow Americans and there was no middle man in both narrated story posted on YT. Two Americans asked God for guidance from their heart in whole sincerity, it was Allah who answered their call, one man came from Jewish family and other man came from U.S military family. Both men came to Islam for the miracle their experienced, true story posted on YT, unbias reports, both men started to hear Islamic call-to-prayer Azan in the middle of nowhere, both men reported same incident. Both men were former """enemies""" of Muslims. If it were NOT for the miracle, they wouldn't have bothered with Islam, both men were truly longing for God and guidance. If your heart is pure, this could be you in the next, you cannot fake your supplication to Allah. Your Creator knows about you, more than you know of your own self inside and outside...

[@LogicStandsBeforeGod]

@@thought_bug 1) These men truly longing for God guidance and they supplicated to God from their heart, which resulted in miracle, in other words two separate individuals had prior supplication to God and then their supplication was connected with a miracle and it was a not random miracle and these men were knew they had supplicated to God. 2) These men were former """"enemies""" of Muslims, which means they were not bias in their claim in the least. 3) These men had no exterior motives such as looking for immigration, looking for a spouse or looking for financial gain. 4) These men were not born to Muslims parents or brought up on Muslim culture. 5) These men had no Muslims friends or connection to Islam and there was no middle man between them the God showed and answered their supplication, no middle-man in the story posted. 6) The videos were not made by Muslims and it was not posted by Muslims men.

[@dillona1001]

I feel like your mind and mine are 2 sides of the same coin sometimes😅 I was raised Christian, am literally 26, went through a breakup, unofficialy moved in with the parents, and have unironically been boasting my newly perceived lack of ego lmao I personally still consider myself a Believer but I've definitely been reexamining the shortcomings of the institution, patriarchal besmirching of doctrine, and general toxicity that breeds the religious trauma we've all discovered we have. It's definitely a beast of a thing to reconcile and still hold on to, and I respect your flow of logic that brought you to your conclusion. One thought I've had pertains to your perception of self. You've talked on your channel about your mental health extensively like in your defense of Trisha P, and I've heard before that dealing with the kind of minds you and her lean toward having, it can be difficult, damn near impossible to reconcile your already delicate identity and sense of self with the modern ideologies we implement with modern day Christianity. I'm deathly curious if/how your perception on that front impacts your idea of God and how you see yourself? I have more thoughts but one can only communicate so much in a KZbin comment😅 Also I'm gagged at the fact that your idea of "short-form, low effort content" is frickin "ego death and why I shifted my entire dogma of truth before 30"💀 you're legendary for that💯🫡

[@ellliotjameees]

"babe wake up, thought bug just posted peak content" 👑👑

[@alexv1190]

Stop this tiktok shit

[@frederickpile3599]

@@alexv1190 "Daniel Adams vlogs." Richard Lorenzo jr channel. Mapalo. Andres Bisonni channel. Mark Hermans channel. Daniel Chand channel.

[@ellliotjameees]

lmao

[@quinn1224]

i just watched your love island video, and now this one. i have never watched love island, and have never been a christian, but im obsessed with your videos. they are so good, now time to watch the video about the jeremy kyle show (which i have also never watched)

[@thought_bug]

Thank you for being here!!

[@hedvigkarpati7834]

As a Christian, I can empathize with some or even many things you said. Being a catholic I also experienced the feeling of shame to a certain extent, and I had the misconception that I think many Christians, especially Catholics have, that in this world we are supposed to suffer, that God kinda wants us to suffer. I even had a period when I got further from God and stopped going to church due to bad experiences with some hypocritical church members. But thankfully I never fully lost my faith, and thanks to a short play I saw in a church camp, God brough me back to Him. Since then I have dug much deeper in my faith, and I had many realisations. I realised that it's not true that God wants us to suffer. Suffering is necessary, but God does not delight in our suffering. We can offer up our suffering to him, and that's a good thing, but His intention is actually that we have the best, happiest, most fulfilling life even in this life. I don't agree that acceptance and faith cannot go together. It's not true, that every bad thing is a punishment from God. He actually never wants any harm to befall on us, but He can use the bad things that happen to us to our benefit. Just as He used the bad things that happened to Him to our benefit. He never wanted to suffer. He didn't enjoy suffering. He just chose to go through suffering to achieve a goal, the goal of saving us. I believe that accepting the bad things is crucial in Christianity too. Everything might have a reason, or at least God can use everything for our benefit, but He never said that we would understand those reasons. We who believe in Him have to have enough trust and faith in Him to accept the bad things, even if we don't understand why He allows them to happen. And it's ok to be angry with God, and to wrestle with Him, just like Jacob/ Israel did. I think that if someone has a superficial knowledge of God, just like I used to do, they can have a lot of misconceptions that I mentioned. But if we truly search for Him, and dig deeper, He will reveal His true self for us. And for this He sometimes lets us leave him for a while. Maybe to let us experience life without Him, to have a better understanding of what life is like with Him. When I had that bad experience with church members and I stopped going to church, I asked God to only let me drift away from Him, if this will eventially draw me closer to Him. And that's what happened. I hope that that's what will happen to you too. 🙏 Because He is real, and He is good, and He doesn't want us to try our best to be a good person because he wants us to please Him, but because He loves us, and wants the best for us, and doing good is what will result in the best life for us and others as well. We don't need to be perfect. The Bible even says that none of us are perfect, that we are all sinners. And I think that that's actually liberating, because it proves that even though we are imperfect, we can still go to heaven and live in His presence.

[@cn-uy8cz]

Hope He grants us all to heaven without any condition.

[@hedvigkarpati7834]

@@cn-uy8cz That would not be good. 🙈

[@JessicaenIngles]

Your comment it's really kind, and explains what having a real relationship with God is truly like.💗 thank you!

[@CoolBreezeAnthony]

I agree with you.

[@Enne_esse]

There's something so inherently condescending about this comment.

[@Azeria]

i honestly don’t have anything insightful to say but this video was super interesting

[@thought_bug]

I’m glad you liked it!!

[@chemtrooper1]

I was a Christian for 35 years. Loved going to church every Sunday and socializing with my “extended family in Christ”. I was feeling “called” to the ministry and considered going to seminary. In preparation, I decided to devote myself to extensive study. I learned some Greek, read the Bible cover to cover, and read every apologetic book I could find, not realizing this was the beginning of the end of my Christian faith. I used to get angry with Christians who tried to “bring me back into the fold”, Luke 15:11-32 wasn’t an uncommon response; but I remind myself that I sounded just like them not that long ago. Alan Watts has been a substantial influence in my journey through deconstruction. Eckhart Tolle has been another☺️.

[@andreroy8141]

I hate to break it to you. You never really believed in God in the first place and for that reason. It means you never really were a Christian. The Devil knows the Word of God better than any Christian. So just reading the Word won't help. Without the indwelling of Holy Spirit. You will never really come to understand and see the truth. It's core to what it means to be Christian. The Bible says without the Spirit of Christ. You are none of his.

[@Nighhhts]

“Reading” and “comprehending” are two completely different things. No one can “bring you back into the fold” except the Holy Spirit, Who resides in you forever, regardless if you fall away. If you ever believed in the true Gospel, that is, Christ died, was buried and rose the third day, you are eternally saved. If you didn’t believe that and instead believed a lie like “repent of your sins to be saved,” or “you need faith plus works to be saved,” or “you need to be baptized to be saved,” you were never saved. A false gospel can save no one, ever. If it’s anything other than faith in Christ alone and that’s it, then it’s false…

[@andreroy8141]

@@Nighhhts Exactly. 💯% correct. I replied earlier stating the need for the Holy Spirit. My reply got removed. However, Jesus is still working. Amen!

[@theodorequist4904]

I’m still kinda confused as to if you sought out Christian answers for the questions you were having just reading. Or you just stuck to your own understanding while reading

[@chemtrooper1]

@@Nighhhts can you clarify what you mean by true gospel? I absolutely believed in the once saved always saved doctrine, which is what I think you’re conveying here. What then have I failed to comprehend? My first reading was presuppositional, and I found no univocality; the god of the Old Testament is clearly different from the one Jesus claimed he was one with. My second reading (and continued study) was dispassionate and academic; the Koine Greek offers some interesting interpretations that cannot be rendered in English as the authors suggest. My faith was built on the foundational basis of biblical inerrancy and “god-breathed” inspiration; that entire doctrine collapses when you start finding contradictions and errors. I could go on and on on about alleged authorship and the synoptic problem concerning Matthew, Mark and Luke but I don’t think that would really matter to someone who has presupposed the authenticity, authorship and historicity of the New Testament.

[@ColdSpyderBuck]

I left Islam about a decade ago. Best decision I ever made. My start in my journey of free thought was (like most who leave the faiths they were raised on) atheism. After a year or so experimenting with various atheistic philosophies, I had decided atheism was leaving me cold and empty inside, and after a long period of studying without any external influence, I became a pagan. I later learned that an old friend of mine had chosen the same path completely independently of myself. Be grateful that the religion you left doesn't call for your murder the same way the one I left does for me. All the best and stay free!

[@GeoffreyMorrison-xh2eo]

​@@Unemi134I think that you should worry about your self....

[@t2nexx561]

Paganism lmao how?

[@djonx437]

Which Pagan God did you choose

[@ColdSpyderBuck]

@@djonx437 All of them

[@ColdSpyderBuck]

@@t2nexx561 Study and a will to go my own way

[@dianacryder7523]

Thank you for this. Our experience can feel so isolating. It's nice to know I'm not alone, that someone else gets it.

[@uberdonkey9721]

At 34 I had a religious experience (after recovering from an illness) and felt God, and that actually all our logical thinking is superficial (I'm a scientist). I was previously agnostic/atheist. The following years I recognised why Christianity really fills our human needs. I wrote a book (Christianity from the Ground Up) which details the logical reasons for being a Christian (but also talks about the terrible business of faith healing and fake miracle workers). Since that experience, the Epistles of Paul really opened up to me and I felt I understood them for the first time. Indeed the similarity to my own experience convinced me that Paul had a religious experience, and while I dont believe Jesus is God, I do believe he was the Messiah. Anyway, we have to walk our own path. God reveals himself to us, we don't get there by indoctrination.

[@Rolando_Cueva]

@@uberdonkey9721 you don't believe Jesus is God, how come? Haven't you read John's Gospel?

[@jeremiahbok9028]

"Pain was inevitable, but suffering was optional... Suffering comes from not accepting reality as it is." Yes! It's such a hard lesson and we learn it over and over, but it's true. "YOu can stop trying to be good enough for the creator of all things." That's beautiful and it hit me so hard. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of this. Feminism does deeply clash with Christianity and I love that that was a big part of the beginning of the end for you. I'm so sorry you grieved, it seems a lot of people leaving Christianity do. As you say, it was never true, so in a very real sense you've lost nothing. But you've lost your *thoughts* that God loves you, that you'll see your loved ones again, as well as a link with many friends and potentially family, and you realize you've wasted so much time going to church. So grieving is of course very legitimate. "I didn't understand that you could forgive someone, for hurting you, and then say, OK, now I have a boundary and you're not allowed in my life anymore." That's powerful. "As a child, I ... was quite curious about bigger questions about the world." YES, being religious can be the result of just honest exploration, even though it doesn't reflect reality. People don't talk about that enough. I loved this video so much, thank you. I always thoroughly enjoy hearing about people's journeys away from faith, they're different and meaningful every time. I'm glad you seem to have found some peace. I know, for me, leaving Catholicism has brought me so much freedom I rarely quote so much in comment, there were so many good bits in here. All the best.

[@lofg6926]

1- You ARE good enough for God, he just wants you to love him back 2- Don't confuse catholicism with christianity

[@amAntidisestablishmentarianist]

What has it got to do with feminism? 😅 Sorry but the biggest enemy of feminism is feminism itself. 😅😅

[@itsaboutthattime4425]

@@lofg6926 honest question here and I’m not being a d. What do you think you are achieving with this comment? Do you think they will read it and think “actually you know what, I was wrong about it all, you are completely right! Time to convert back!” Or are you just commenting because it makes you feel better about yourself?” Again not being a d, just want to know what your actual goal is with that comment. No disrespect.

[@lofg6926]

@@itsaboutthattime4425 I was raised Catholic, and due to several logical inconsistencies, I became a strong atheist in my teenage years. It wasn't until last year, at 23yo, that I started studying Christianity more deeply, and came to realize that Christianity is very possibly the truth. This is because I had never heard the teachings come from Protestants before, who remove all the noise and center in the key teachings of Jesus and on explaining all the evidence for the historicity of the New Testament, and the evidence for the existence of God as a necessary metaphysical being. And after examining all the evidence, it is quite clear that not only is it possible for God to exist, it is quite more likely than not, that it is in fact the case. So, a couple of points: 1- This deconversion story centers around having conflicting moral values to those preached by Catholicism, not necessarily Christianity. 2- Of those that are conflicting with Christianity itself (such as homosexuality & abortion, ), I have one answer: If God is in fact real and those are his commands, who are you to think your opinions are more valid than his? That is pure arrogance. Can't you sit down and consider for a moment, that your opinions may be incorrect? That they have been influenced by the world, perhaps to be able to win in this world (as some of those beliefs may be truly beneficial for you in this world) but then lose in the next world? The key here is that you MUST look at the evidence for God. Because if he is real, then you are in fact wrong and you have to accept it. If he isn't real, then go on believing what you want, because objective truth literally does not exist then. 3- The Gospel message is that you ARE good enough for God, he literally died for your sins because of how much he cares. To provide liberation and purification from sin through faith in Jesus. 4- "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." You are NOT required to PERFORM to be saved and loved by God. "However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness." 5- Not understanding why God would "do X thing" is not evidence that he isn't real. 6- Bad experiences with religious institutions or persons are not evidence he isn't real. 7- The problem of evil is explained by the fact that God IS the good. The source of everything that is good. If only the good existed in this world, then we wouldn't be able to freely escape God, or develop our separate identities, as we would be branches of him. Thus the opposite of God must exist, so that we may freely escape him if we so desire. That manifests itself in evil, chaos, pain, suffering, death. You can choose to seek him or reject him.

[@Newgrist]

Arguably, "ego death" is at the heart of the Christian teaching about the participation of the crucifixion of Jesus in baptism. And "radical acceptance" is the outcome of the appropriation of the Christian message of justification by faith, at least as it is expressed in classical Protestantism. I think the observations made here about the human condition are compelling, but I also think that Christianity has the spiritual and intellectual resources to engage meaningfully with them.

[@NightmareRex6]

esoteric christanity.

[@deusvult8340]

@@NightmareRex6Dark night of the soul is part of Traditional Catholicism from St John of The Cross

[@The_joker_is_me]

Jesus died for all of us

[@baronvonkek8467]

- "radical acceptance" is the outcome of the appropriation of the Christian message As a guy who's done quite a bit of therapy, I have half a psychology degree (not a professional, but hey I know more than average), and I've studied religion a lot. This statement is not true. Radical acceptance is accepting all of the facts of your life that you can't change. That is to say *facts*. Things you know concretely to be the truth and can physically prove until the cows come home. The sun rises and sets every day, the sky is blue, things on Earth fall at a terminal velocity of 9.8 meters per second. With things in your life it could be that a loved one is abusive and shows no signs of changing, or that you have a genetic illness that will always be a part of your life. You can't change these things, these things are undeniably provably true, and the best you can do is live your best life with them in mind. That's not what faith in Christianity is. The Christian concept of faith, whether Christians admit it or not, is a radical choice to believe in something *that cannot be proven*. It is a choice to believe in something that exists outside of the physical and sensory realm, and thus cannot be proven with physical or sensory evidence. Christian faith is inherently unscientific, and that's fine because science is the study of the physical world, and religion is the study of the spiritual, so it's totally different. But we cannot know any real concrete facts about the spiritual world except from how it effects the human mind, and the human mind conceptualizes it in different ways. The Christian idea of "faith" is the idea of choosing to believe that the Christian conceptualization of spirituality is accurate despite the lack of evidence - evidence that is *physically impossible* to gather. Again, nothing wrong with that, it's a pretty normal spiritual practice, but one deals with concrete worldy truths and the other deals with the uncertainty inherent to spirituality. I see the similarity, but it's simply not the same thing.

[@baronvonkek8467]

KZbin has decided to delete this for no reason, so I guess I'll break it up lol. 1/4: - "radical acceptance" is the outcome of the appropriation of the Christian message As a guy who's done quite a bit of therapy, I have half a psychology degree (not a professional, but hey I know more than average), and I've studied religion a lot. This statement is not true.

[@DualitySeraph]

I've just recently (like a a few weeks ago) became a Christian and seeing this video has really done a lot for me in terms of my faith and how I view things. Really great video and I'm very glad that you have found a life path that is right for you :)

[@kellystone7501]

The sooner you leave, the less time you will waste.

[@DualitySeraph]

@@kellystone7501 Imagine being this rude, crazy

[@kellystone7501]

@@DualitySeraph no point beating around the bush. Christianity is false. Don't waste your time believing false things.

[@jonm57]

@@kellystone7501 Agreed. Rude! Please have respect for others’ beliefs. I mean, will you say this to a Buddhist? Or to a Muslim?

[@kellystone7501]

@@jonm57 There is no justification for respecting others beliefs simply because they believe them (e.g. witchcraft). Christianity and Islam are false and harmful. Please stop believing things for bad reasons.

[@bmd5558]

Great video! As an ex-catholic who’s mum was a nun and dad was a priest this was an especially interesting watch 😂

[@thought_bug]

Whoa sounds like you had an interesting childhood 😅

[@unoriginalclips9923]

How was your dad a priest if priests follow a discipline of celibacy? How was your mom a nun if nuns follow a discipline of celibacy and perpetual virginity?

[@elaraelara6215]

​@@unoriginalclips9923They can step out

[@unoriginalclips9923]

@@elaraelara6215 They aren’t consecrated into holy orders/religious life anymore then. They wouldn’t be a priest and a nun, but rather former devotees to those respective offices. Commenter seemed to imply that during the time they grew up their father was a priest, and their mother a nun.

[@Caroline-z2w]

Obviously not very good if they had you as that's forbidden

[@DoorknobHead]

Excellent description of the transition from the religious worldview to the non-religious worldview from, from an everything-for-a-purpose to a radical acceptance mind-set. I've heard many deconversion stories but, even though I've never been religious, this description sits particularly well with me. Thanx for sharing

[@EarnestApostate]

20:36 oh man, I feel this so much. I thought so much about the parable of the man who built his home on sand when I first came to realize that I no longer believed.

[@johnsmith8906]

As a life long atheist, I view people who say they have a "Relationship with God" the same way as certain anime fans that have waifu's.

[@thought_bug]

😭

[@jerkojerkic9349]

You see, your personal choice of having relationship with God is to deny him. That still won't change the fact that he is alive, that he loves you and that he want's you back to where you belong with him. This is why that is a personal choice. God is not intrusive and he will not force himself onto you, but you need to seek him through his Word to find him. He is still protecting you, but time is short and his coming is very soon. Then there will be no doubt for the whole mankind that he exists because he will come to judge the unbeliving and unrepentant people.

[@archive3339]

@@jerkojerkic9349 people like you are the reason people like him say things like what they commented

[@jerkojerkic9349]

@@archive3339Please read this message given to woman prophetess in January 9. 2019. May you read it with patiance. God bless you. The message is from Father God. Daughter, it is your Father speaking to you. It is I, the Great I AM. Do not be afraid to speak My words. I speak a most dire warning to all the inhabitants of the earth. I speak to anyone who has NOT heeded My previous warnings- those whose eternal destiny is damnation. Listen to your Father! Listen to the One who gave you the breath of life! Your failure to respond and repent from your wicked and sinful ways will cost you eternity! You know not of that which you will face when the breath of life is taken from you and your soul leaves your body. You who have ignored the continuous and countless ways I have desperately presented truth to you. You who continually and repeatedly choose the desires of your flesh over the food I offer for your spirit. You who act and live as if you can serve God and mammon with no accountability. The eyes of your soul feast on murder, anger, rage, fear and death; fornication, idolatry and lust of every kind fill your eyes, minds and your ears everyday. You do not even know the meaning of the word compromise. You entertain yourselves by feasting on blood and death. Therefore, I will give you over to your desires. I will not save you who do not want to be saved. You give your allegiance and are in covenant with another by the willful sin you allow to perpetuate. Do you have any idea what you are doing? To give allegiance to any other god but Me is certain death. Eternal death. I will not protect you or keep you from the hour of trial coming imminently upon the earth when you feed from his table, the table of the enemy. I am holy and I am just, and you walk with no intercessor, My Son Yahushua to plead your cause or to intercede on your behalf. Judgment is here and you will stand alone, naked in your sin, filthy and repulsive in the presence of the Great I AM, and you will already be judged by your words, deeds and actions and your refusal to live a life of holiness and obedience. Your witchcraft will not save you then. What witchcraft is this you ask, in your vanity and your pride? It is the vile and filthy things that fill your lives. You dine with devils. You invite darkness in at every turn and darkness will be your abode eternally if you do not repent. You have given the enemy permission to enter all aspects of your lives and he finds his dwelling place already within you. I created My people and breathed My breath into you in order for you to glorify and reflect Me. Your agreements with satan and the permissions you have given him will turn your vessels from that which I desired to be used for My glory- vessels of honor, into that which satan will use to destroy you. Do you hear what I am saying? Because he cannot create and needs an army to inhabit to wage war on My righteous ones, you will be used as his instrument, instead of you being My instrument. The moment in which he and his demons are plunged from My Kingdom and cast to this earth, he will be desperate for a physical place of habitation. Those who are not walking with Me will be those he then completely inhabits. Why do you think My warnings have been shouted so urgently now? Because that time is imminently upon you, and then satan will have his army, and literally, all of hell will be loosed on this planet. This world has never seen anything like this before- an unimaginable and purely evil army of darkness and death, countless in numbers, hunting down those they may devour. Why would I warn and warn as I have, if I didn't wish any would perish? But when that moment of fulfillment of My words are here, you do not want to be one that is not completely covered by the blood of My Son's sacrifice, because then, it is too late, and your fate is sealed. Are these words harsh for you? Or do you laugh them away as you have in the past? Do you suppose they are being penned by an insane writer who has lost all sense of rationality? Do you have the courage to remain in your wickedness and find out if indeed these words speak truth? Mocking the messenger of these words is only mocking Me. This may be the last time you hear these words. WHO DO YOU SERVE THIS DAY??? YAHUAH GOD THE FATHER

[@qlqnen]

@jerkojerkic9349 Which god?

[@oscarklauss9802]

Actually reading the Bible objectively is the greatest deconversion method out there. People who get caught up in Christianity usually hear the most appealing version, and the most emotionally charged version. It fits either their fear, or fantasy or both. From there they become rationalization experts in self delusion. Actual truth seeking is very sobering, and a lesson in neverending humility about how little is actually known, and knowable. I don't think a lot of people have the stomach for actual truth seeking. They want the guided tour, not the excruciating journey. A lot of people are wise enough to aim for the problems and work that offers actual progress, and potential instead of blood and guts whole hearted truth seeking.

[@douglascutler1037]

I was raised a moderate Christian. Pretty low on the h*ll fire, strong on the peace and love. I grew away from the church as an adult but even so, I kept lingering sentimental ideas about the God of the Bible. Then in my late twenties I was reading the Old Testament for myself and came across the passage below. In a single, sudden moment I realized the Bible was written by power-obsessed men and not some merciful God: Numbers 31:17-18 - King James Version. After a military victory over the Midianites, Moses is angry with his generals for bringing back too many prisoners. He responds: 17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. 18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

[@_jovial]

Hmm.. I don't mean any offense, but by the sounds of it your truth seeking has given you anything but humility.

[@tommore3263]

The Bible is the book of the Catholic church. Biblical fundamentalism is rejected by those who authorized the Bible, the successors of the apostles. And anything God who literally IS REASON .. why reasoning works... reveals, can never be against reason. The Unity of Truth. Mindless matter in meaningless motion appears as a literally stupid view to most rational beings. Why we vastly reject atheism as frankly stupid. By its own terms.

[@douglascutler1037]

@@_jovial The proud often think themselves humble. But that is a self-deception that even religious people can fall prey to. Jesus himself even warns about religious pride and hypocrisy. "There shall be those who call me Lord, Lord ," etc. But it still takes a certain intellectual humility to fully embrace the mysterious nature of reality without making up some explanation that has no scientific evidence behind it.

[@JustaNaughtyBoy]

@@douglascutler1037 The old testament is a tough read, which I guess is why many Christians don't read it. Yeah the slaughter of the Midianites is something the Christians don't like to bring up. Keeping the virgin girls as sex slaves really caps it off. God has the virgin boys slaughtered, yet keeps virgin girls. when Joshua sacked Jericho, all were slaughtered including donkeys and sheep. The same goes for the slaughter of the Amalekites.

[@sarah30932]

I was raised conservative Catholic in the U.S. and I’m Queer so unfortunately i haven’t been able to save anything helpful from my time in religion because it was honestly just pure horror. I’m super grateful that isn’t everyone’s experience. I love hearing your thoughts on life, so I would really appreciate these shorter commentaries if you continue to like making them ❤ Happy Sunday everyone, lol

[@thought_bug]

Makes total sense, I hope you’re managing to find some healing from that ❤️

[@mourning-lamb777]

"pure horror" is an absolutely accurate term for the experience.

[@peraspera934]

I almost clicked off when you began to describe your experience with leaving Christianity as more casual. Then, you encapsulated the dark night of the soul so accurately that I knew you understood the depth of suffering from an existential crisis. There is some comfort in knowing we aren't alone in our unique brand of suffering. I was raised in an insular, intensely fundamentalist evangelical environment. It was very lonely and depressing to lose my faith when I was studying compulsively to try and establish it. To this day, I can not bring myself to tell my zealous religious family that I don't believe in their worldview. It is a little cathartic to hear of others who have walked the same path to some degree and who have had a similar vantage point through it. I just subscribed. ✌🏻

[@tommore3263]

Fundamentalism is anti Christian. God is the God of reason, indeed IS REASON... why the universe is intelligible and meaningful , most obvious in human beings just as our free wills show we are not just physical or determined as even quantum mechanics now shows. God is obvious. As obvious as love.

[@rikk319]

@@tommore3263 Why, then, are there so many unreasonable things in holy texts? Laws on the proper treatment, ownership, and dispensation of slaves, for example, when it would have been much more simple and moral to say, "Do not own slaves"? Such laws reinforce the concept that those holy texts are merely creations of the humans of those times.

[@flolou8496]

@@rikk319 Your question has been asked hundreds of times and answered hundreds of times already, and on a apologetics scale of easy to difficult it rates barely as ''easy'' to overcome, even a nobody like myself know's the context of servant VS slave is key to interpreting the word ''slave'' when you see it in the Old Testament.

[@tommore3263]

@@rikk319 The Bible is the book , writings authorized by Catholic bishops who received their authority and command to teach and perform the sacraments directly from Christ. They are not biblical literalists. The 6 day creation shows relationship not 24 hour spans. When Christ says I am the Vine and you are the branches, he's not reincarnating Twiggy from a '70's movie. The Old Testament is incomplete, a foreshadowing. The teaching of the Catholic church is guaranteed by Christ and the Holy Spirit where the authority has rested from the beginning. Protestant sola scriptura is not from the bible or Christ. God so loved the world he sent one pope, not 700 million with doctored bibles in the air. Cheers

[@tommore3263]

Oh..me again Rik.. there have been different types of slavery in history and some of it was actually indentured service, others were better characterized by selling of labor. The papacy led the world in speaking out against slavery and it was Britain in particular who lost thousands of lives fighting it worldwide. It is stil practiced in much of the world. Cheers.

[@kbai12]

I think you might be referring to the just world fallacy at 19:52, at least to an extent. This was a point of contention for my own journey away from christianity. When you're thrown into suffering that is beyond your control after being immersed in this mindset, it's very hard not to blame and shame yourself, and for those around you not to do the same if they also have been conditioned to think this way. In my case it overlapped a lot with ableism, but it can feed/be fed by any ideology that dehumanizes or misunderstands. Thank you for sharing your perspective, I enjoyed the video

[@baskeptic1161]

This is the first time I have seen your content. I really enjoyed hearing your story- thanks!

[@Mr.Shartly]

As a kid I had questions that couldn't be answered. Around 13 I started paying attention to the Christians in my family and other church members. Long story short, I realized that Christianity is no different than any other cult, it's just a widely accepted cult. My mother used to say the devil turned me away from God. I told her no; Christians turned me away.

[@UltimatesuperMegaverse]

@@Mr.Shartly I’m sorry to hear this, may I ask what church it was, Mormon, catholic, Lutheran, or orthodox? Just wanna know

[@fettergraf]

OK, but what does this has to do with yeshua the Jewish preacher?

[@The_joker_is_me]

@Mr.Shartly it is not a cult if it were a cult it wouldn't be public

[@Chakra_king]

I interestingly share a similar sentiment to you, but in the complete inverse. Granted I am pretty weird, and pretty mentally ill, so I'm not sure if I can trust my own mind anyways lol. But I had converted to Roman Catholicism when I was 16, with a firm and zealous faith, and by the time I turned 19, I had developed an alcohol addiction, and for whatever reason I still called myself catholic, but I had completely lost any active faith. Instead of agnosticism or atheism however (probably because spirituality seems too intuitively obviously real to me) , I turned to an odd sort of new age/buddhist/catholic syncretism. It started when I went thru alcohol induced psychosis, but has lasted up until now in my life, where I can't help but feel like I am God, and I just haven't realised it yet. That's pretty much what most new agers believe. Yet I've been feeling what you call a drive to "radical acceptance" to Catholicism, or at least a traditional Deism. By that I mean I feel as though I know there is a God or power above me, one who can conquer death, and one who has created me, yet I still have this subconscious urge to proclaim myself in his position. When I think of myself as God, or the only real or true consciousness in existence, I feel this awful burden or anxiety on my shoulders, that I must do everything correctly, and prove myself to be the highest being in the universe. Yet when I accept that God does exist, and he is not only the highest, but he is being itself, then I know my ego must be crushed, but I also know that I don't have to hold any burden- I just have to trust in him. I guess what I mean from all this rambling, is that In my experience at least, I feel the highest ego when I'm away from God, and although I feel such a strange resistance to it, I deep down feel like I have to accept that my ego strains my relationship with God, or else I prolong my own suffering. If nothing else, I know I should worship, that is give the highest worth, to that which is most powerful, and as Divine as I think I am sometimes, I know damn well ive never risen from the dead, and redeemed all of reality at the same time, so I still try to become actively faitfhul to that which can save me. Im a pretty terrible Catholic, but an even worse God (and atheism to me is just an impossibility).

[@tulpas93]

You said something at around 29:55 that brought an image to my mind where religion was like a scaffolding you'd set up while you were "under construction" and eventually you didn't need it anymore because you were done (aside from repairs, a change of decor, and perhaps someday an extension). I'm excited when this happens to any of us, but I'm most excited for enfeebled this happens to us as a species! 🎉

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

15:45 this made me think of a time when someone who had known me (this person was a non-Christian) basically “accused me” of being a Christian or tried to say something was true because I was a Christian, and I wasn’t really comfortable being called a Christian but also wasn’t yet comfortable saying “I’m not a Christian.”

[@oreocarlton3343]

I recommend the book Kierkegaard: Fear and Trembling to anyone trying to understand the christian faith.

[@imakedumusic3393]

I feel like the term christianity has been used vaguely in the recent years. Being a christian is far more than going to church and praying and reading the bible. It’s exactly what you are doing, questioning everything. But what if instead of questioning and finding answers yourself, what if you had just a little bit of faith and asked God instead. I mean this might not be a great argument but i’m putting it out there. I also came across this video about the difference between knowing something and believing in something. In many cases abt God, we actually don’t know everything about God. We will never know but we can believe. But belief should t be a feeling, imo. It is still backed up by evidence though evidence can’t necessarily prove anything absolutely, that is where faith steps in. Faith is fundamental core of christianity.

[@sadrequiem]

I used to be a very devout christian. I had heard of Ego Death in relation to some drugs but I had never thought of it as the process of losing your faith. I went to that process as you describe it and it was a huge very impactful. It took years to finally find my new self at the other end. It led me to a lot of exploration of many ideas and different religions. I'm a happy atheist now. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@ster9k]

21:27 YES!!! THIS!!! You’ve put a name to what happened to me! I had lost my wife and the grief process triggered this search for radical acceptance for how things are. The soul mate. The soul. God. The plan. Everything I knew and believed to be true just kept crumbling in my hands and all I wanted to do was escape into the cold embrace of “the end” but I was so frightened of Hell Doctrine that there was no escape from how I felt until I contemplated the idea that none of that was real. Today, I’m happily medicated, I live by the credo: “It is what it is,” I stay firmly grounded in the present all the while abandoning magical thinking. It works so well for me. Ego Death. Radical Truth. Thanks for these words. Nice to know I’m not alone.

[@merpuccino]

20:53 You said it right. When your belief in God collapses, it's like your whole outlook on life caves in. You kind of have to start from scratch.

[@DoraEmon-xf8br]

It's something I can't really comprehend. As. Far as I remember in my child hood, I never had faith whatsoever. It's still an interesting testimony though.

[@Schizniit]

I always just found it curious how no one finds it odd that most English translations of the Bible today are written in Shakespearean English and that half the time it doesn't even accurately translate from the greek or hebrew texts

[@johnheaton5058]

You need the New Revised Standard Version..not the King James..

[@adamclark1972uk]

You don't know much about it if you think most versions of the bible are in Shakespearian English. The only version like that is the King James Version.

[@TitenSxull]

It's so quaint hearing that you thought being a Christian was going against the status quo in some way. Here in America many people still fear coming out as atheists because in some cases it can get you disowned and even kicked out of the house by family members. Here Christian nationalism is on the rise. It's very interesting hearing different perspectives from around the world and how people decinstruct their beliefs. Idk if I had an ego death while deconverting. I went from Christianity to deism to pantheism to reincarnation trying on a ton of different beliefs in search of the truth before finally realizing I was an atheist. The closest I came was realizing that we are just animals that evolved and there's likely no afterlife. That was a bit difficult because of how I had been brainwashed as a kid. Anyway, very interesting deconversion story. Thank you for sharing.

[@RosiYYAP]

i had a lot of similar experiences with religion as a teenager and into my early 20s, though i think i my overall feelings and thoughts on it are now negative. it took me a long time to slowly disconnect and deconstruct my faith because it was something i engaged in with enthusiasm. your part about having faith and then losing it and how that's a unique and poignant experience really hit especially

[@liklibinekuds7700]

Youre hilarious!! Im in america but had the same spiritual journey, it seems. Your content is really great. It's nice to listen in on this stuff, helps a lot

[@childfreegamer8840]

I was raised Christian and left in my 20s. I’m 32 and an atheist and the world just makes so much more sense. Reading the Bible really helps. The UK is getting less and less religious, which is great

[@dokinsra-rn8ni]

Yep that’s right! and you’ve the man Richard dawkins! Envy you from South Korea

[@ItsOnPaper]

You’re in for a rude awakening

[@yeboscrebo4451]

The UK is crumbling…coincidence?

[@thesaferoom6968]

THATS AWSOME MAN! or WOMAN!

[@whatthefitt]

Great? That’s why the UK is getting worse to worse.

[@nathbizl]

cant wait to see your thoughts haha

[@Ytchannel077]

You can disagree with religion amd still believe in god

[@The_joker_is_me]

Facts

[@XWaffleKillerX]

I'm late to the party but whoaa "everything happens for a reason' completlet undermines the power you have in your own life' really articulated my own issues with that mindset in a new way. Well said!!

[@Camalonious]

A lot of what you've said about suffering and the 'divine plan' for us all hit me hard. I think a large part of my "faith" is built on how awful the world seems to be, how awful people can be to each other and the need in me to believe that this will face some kind of ultimate justice - i.e., it's all part of something bigger we cannot yet perceive. But now I'm sat here thinking "shit, is that all just me being afraid, rather than a belief in something?" o.0 like denial instead of radical acceptance.

[@aabrightlove]

For the folks calling her narcissistic: maybe take a closer look at your deity of choice. Yahweh is the ULTIMATE narcissist

[@The_joker_is_me]

@aabrightlove she is narcissistic though 💀💀💀

[@bamacopeland4372]

Yes god is the ultimate narcissist. It's my way or else.

[@teganflyman5352]

Really interesting. I grew up with secular beliefs, rejected religion, rejected all sorts… then I found Jesus. Can’t even believe I’m saying it myself. We all have a path.

[@DCxSkateboarding]

You didn't find Jesus. Being convinced of bad ideas isn't finding Jesus

[@camharris1664]

​@@DCxSkateboardingright😅

[@alias_crouton2671]

​@@DCxSkateboardingOK, chill. I get that you don't agree with his beliefs, neither do I. But, all he said is that he puts his own stock in Christianity. What's wrong with that?

[@DCxSkateboarding]

@@alias_crouton2671 normalizing harmful ideas is the issue.

[@alias_crouton2671]

@@DCxSkateboarding Not all religions promote these harmful ideas. They didn't mention which beliefs they put stock in, so why are you assuming the worst immediately?

[@PictureProphet]

I think everyone can (and should) make their own choices, but PLEASE keep in mind -to anybody reading this- that Christianity is NOT Jesus or God. As I'm reading these comments I see lots of ppl saying it was a weight on their shoulders which is the case with religion- but not a relationship with God. He carries our burdens for us! Being a Christian should not be about religion (rules and to do lists) but an amazing experience and relationship. Anyways I pray you get to see Jesus as He truly is!!

[@teawitched]

my parents christened me but they didn't practise christianity. i went to friday school and sunday club every week, which i enjoyed. i was gifted a children's bible from one of the teachers there and i would read it every night. my primary school was C of E so there were elements of christianity. my first secondary school was not christian, but in year 9 i moved to a catholic school. it was at this school i started to lose my faith. we learnt about the bible in depth and i questioned a lot of it. didn't help that i discovered i was bisexual at the time and was having lots of family issues. i've been atheist ever since, although during lockdown my mental health got so bad i bought a bible and talked a lot to christians online, trying to find something to keep me going through it all people from my school got bullied by kids from non-catholic schools. we got called stuff like "bible bashers". it was definitely seen as an uncool thing by other teenagers. even people in my own school didn't take christianity seriously. people would refuse to partake in mass and hymns, with some people purposely singing really loud and bad as a joke.

[@ezshottah3732]

This video came across my feed a few weeks ago(I love hearing ppl’s deconstruction stories) saved it to my watch later playlist and finally today, gave it some time. Firstly I just want to congratulate you on deconstructing. Although your experience with religion was quite different from mine, there were some very rational thoughts that we both shared about Christianity. The biggest one you touched on was how Christians build their entire world view on this belief, and once they figure out that it’s not true how that affects their psychological state. So you, me some ppl have the awareness to realize this and work it out. But for the ppl who don’t, the extreme levels of cognitive dissonance that these ppl maintain to uphold their beliefs… it won’t surprise me the day religious ppl are diagnosed with mental disorders. And I don’t say that as a punch to the religious, I think our whole species would benefit from being honest and mindful of our mental health. I just think religion gets away with behavior that we wouldn’t normalize in most social situations. Thanks for sharing your experience I will probably share your story with family and friends since it’s so relevant to my own

[@thegentlemanfish7504]

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I agree with what you were saying about pain and sorrow and spiritual perfection. We were never promised there would be no broken bones or broken hearts, only to trust in that God would heal us. There would be pain but suffering is optional. Too many Christians are under read and I'm sorry for any pain caused to anyone by my fellows. Where ever your life takes you, I hope God blesses you regardless.

[@alias_crouton2671]

The issue here is that an all-powerful, all-loving, all-knowing God would have no reason to let suffering exist in the first place. That's just a walking contradiction.

[@benpachin3919]

@@alias_crouton2671 Hi Alias! My name is Ben and I have also doubted God's existence and I want to put a thought into your mind, not to argue with you. In the beginning, God gave us the gift of choice. He is all-powerful and all-knowing, and he decided to let us choose. Instead of forcing everyone to follow him, he gave us a choice, which is why not everyone believes. We also have the choice of sin. Everyone sins everyday, which is why suffering exists. I hope you ponder on this: if you choose to believe, God loves you with all his heart, if you choose not to believe, God loves you with all his heart. He does exist, and he wants you. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gIGxZmumq8qkosU

[@AustinLine]

​@@alias_crouton2671 suffering and death were brought into the world through sin, sin is the reason the world is corrupt. Adam's disobedience and the temptation of the devil is why the world fell from perfection. The devil hates everything that God created. So the devil's main goal is destroying everything that is good. So don't blame God, blame the devil.

[@alias_crouton2671]

@AustinLine An all powerful God should be able to snap away sin just like that. Don't you find it weird that he made a tree with the ability to provide knowledge of good and evil right in the middle of this garden, and told Adam and Eve expressly to NOT eat it? If he didn't want them to eat it, he shouldn't have made it in the first place! Also, if he's omniscient, why did he not stop the serpent before it could convince Adam and Eve to eat the fruit in the first place?

[@EvansKeita-we2yv]

​@@alias_crouton2671 no it's not if grass doesn't eat microorganisms diseases spread, if wolf's don't eat sheep grass over grows , etc

[@Casperjohnston-l3q]

The thing I have always believed is LIFE IS PURGATORY for damaged souls

[@Arminius420]

I've been to so many childrens hospitals. God's not doing anything to save them. Its always been us who help ourselves and each other.

[@JesusTheLoveGift]

It is god who helps us and we who help each other, First love god with all your heart then love your neighbour as yourself, if we continue to ignore this commandment that is very clear, which is the solution then what more can god do? The world will continue to fall, people will continue to suffer until we love them

[@Arminius420]

@@JesusTheLoveGift No, that's a cop out. You are just giving away all of our credit to someone who doesn't deserve anything from us. Who bleeds? We do, we has to work until our bones break? us. Its always us and it always has been. Nobody out in the cosmos is going to help you more than your fellow human beings.

[@XeniaAetheria]

So interesting! Thank you for sharing, it really helps me on my way.

[@MISSMADISONMEDIA]

It’s like you took the thoughts right out of my brain

[@merlin4084]

Great video. I'd listen to more of these shorter videos if you were to make more of them. My parents were somewhat religious when I was a child (Irish Catholics) but I just couldn't get into it. I fully accept that, in my case, that it was mostly my fault that I couldn't get into it. Being dragged to church every Sunday (back in the 90s) to sit and listen to some old guy pontificate to a crowd for 40 minutes just wasn't as appealing as sitting in and playing Playstation games all day. It took a couple of years but they eventually just stopped bringing me to church I kept making so much of a fuss about it, and maybe a year after that my parents stopped going altogether, as the logistics of one of them staying home to look after me while the other went to church and then swapped around just wasn't worth the effort any more (though they may have started going back in recent years, I don't know I haven't asked). I've always hated religion, and when my interest in history got more important to me and I could read about all the horrible things religion has made or has been abused to make people do, I could never accept organised religion as anything other than a force of human evil. It was just another way for people to single out 'outsiders' and justify doing anything you wanted to them because they are 'infidels.' I have done my best to remove religion of any sort from my life. I don't ask people about it, and I don't share anything about it. It's not always possible to ignore it, but I do my best to look past it.

[@TA-yw7ce]

You think the mass is about a priest giving a sermon and that’s it ? Clearly weren’t raised very well in the faith. I don’t blame you too much, if you don’t go to the traditional rite of the church, you may be confused since the emphasis after the Vatican council was put onto the priest ‘performing’ facing the people ect

[@merlin4084]

@@TA-yw7ce being raised well in the faith is entirely dependent on if I cared to learn in the first place. As I said, I was always more interested in playing my Playstation when I was that young. Being dragged away from something you like to go to somewhere you don't care about all that much only breeds resentment. From my point of view, regardless of what actually is supposedly going on spiritually, a priest is giving a lecture or a talk to a crowd and the crowd just sits there, occasionally replying with some prayer, everyone shakes hands and then everyone goes home. A pointless waste of a good hour in a day. That is what it felt like at the time and to this day I've not had much to persuade me that my view would change. I have the same dislikes for the act of exercising. My parents would drag me away from something I wanted to do, to go do something they wanted to do (hike up a mountain for example) and to this day, despite knowing that exercise is actually good for you, I still have my resentments towards it (I have been getting better about it recently, though).

[@jonm57]

As a Christian, I used to care about others and it saddened me if others walked away from their faith. As I’ve gotten older, I could care less when I see people leave the church or become atheist.

[@emmatessier600]

Loved this story! For video ideas: you remind me of Kidology, if you continue social commentary types of videos, you could be very good at that :)

[@MoAtreides]

I used to be catholic, then atheist, then agnostic, and now pantheist. I think denouncing spirituality will further remove you from the world around you. It’s only until you understand that everything around you is made up of the same as you, you can relate to all. I believe that god exists, it’s the universe and everything in it, with this you relieve the pressure of being good enough for god, since you are god. Don’t fall into the illusion that you’re separate from anything inside this universe

[@urnotl0r0s]

it’s not an illusion, it’s something called reality.

[@MoAtreides]

@@urnotl0r0s if you knew anything about physics you would see that it is an illusion. The atoms in your body are not the same from when you were a child, nothing is really yours, not even you, so yeah thinking that you are anything separate is delusion. The only reality is that this universe is one big energy fluctuating system.

[@MoAtreides]

if you knew anything about physics you would see that your life is an illusion. Not even the atoms that make up your body are the same as when you were born. Nothing is yours, to think that you’re anything separate is delusion. The only reality is that the universe is one big fluctuating system, and your experience of separation is an illusion. An illusion that will quickly fade once you die.

[@MoAtreides]

@@urnotl0r0s if you knew anything about physics you would see that your life is an illusion. Not even the atoms that make up your body are the same as when you were born. Nothing is yours, to think that you’re anything separate is delusion. The only reality is that the universe is one big fluctuating system, and your experience of separation is an illusion. An illusion that will quickly fade once you die.

[@MoAtreides]

@@urnotl0r0sthe@@urnotl0r0snot the @@urnotl0r0sones @@urnotl0r0s

[@Islandmaninthemiddleoftheocean]

25:30 many of these songs can lead to an inverted pride in which one is a sinner, the worst, yet still makes them think more on them than on God or others. That’s why a prefer classical chants than modern Christian music. Interesting testimony of your experience with Christianity, wish you the best, God Bless.

[@sck8000]

I'm an atheist myself - and definitely someone who was, and still is, very curious! I've always loved asking the big questions, and still love religion and philosophy as areas of discussion. I also think I underwent my own kind of ego death not long after I left home and started trying to fend for myself - it was one of the most harrowing things I've experienced besides the death of close family members. My experience obviously differs in many ways from yours, but I can truthfully say that it made me a kinder and more empathetic person, and more thoughtful about how I live my own life. I'm not perfect, but I also don't strive to be - just better than I used to be, and doing the best I can. At the end of the day, big philosophical problems should be embraced in this complicated and chaotic world of ours. Even if it's tough - *especially* if it's tough! I used to think I wouldn't wish that grief and anguish that I went through on anyone, but I've come to realise it's made me who I am - and who I will continue to become as I get older. Side note, I really hope you've seen The Good Place. There's so much heart and humour in it whilst diving into so many great philosophical and moral quandries. One of my favourite shows of all time. It's not directly related to this video, but I can't recommend it more highly.

[@Maelstrome123]

I'm glad you are freeing yourself from the shackles of religion. Good luck on your journey. There is no reason to believe in any religion.

[@ArashReal]

Salman Rushdie Said "if Muslims believe that Satan managed to deceive prophet, how do they know if the whole Quran wasn't the revelation by Satan?" The god that requires believers is an ambitious criminal. He better hope I won't find it.

[@al-kimiya6962]

66 IQ take.

[@tajamulislam3879]

There is no GOD but ALLAH ☝️ Muhammad SAW is the final messenger.❤

[@micheal74rich]

_"Salman Rushdie Said "if Muslims believe that Satan managed to deceive prophet, how do they know if the whole Quran wasn't the revelation by Satan?" '_ LOL. Salman knew nothing about subject, what Salman did was, he used public ignorance to sell his books. There is no Muslim believe that Satan managed to deceived the prophet, the whole story was hoax.

[@micheal74rich]

Salman used ignorance the public to sell his book. There was no Satan deceived the Prophet.

[@sayasayaabraham9766]

Are you ok😂?how can you say that? If Quran is revealed by satan then why it says ‘’O dear father! Do not worship Satan. Surely Satan is ever rebellious against the Most Compassionate’’.

[@YESHUA_is_king_21]

II Corinthians 5:20-21 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

[@nataliamyshka607]

Thank you very much for this video! Your thoughts are very close to me. I had a similar experience. I come from a family that believed in God, but didn't go to church. When I was 19, I got to know christianity better (orthodoxy, I am from Russia), and began to go to church regularly. I was a christian for more than 6 years. At some point, faith and God became my meaning of life (I even thought that I would dedicate my life to God and serving him). However, later something turned over in my soul, and I began to wander towards atheism. But for now I am afraid to tell my family and friends that I don't believe in God. And it is even scary to admit it to myself, because for so many years this was my reality and my meaning...

[@BruceLeon83]

Awesome video, great points. I've been there, I did the Christian Deconstruction and Ego death. We vibin' .

[@mouna8720]

i love this video. thank you for creating this. i needed this.

[@thought_bug]

❤️❤️❤️

[@arturorubio3553]

Enjoy the journey. I hope you come back with new found knowledge and increased faith. This is from someone that was never sold on Christianity and had done everything at my grasp.. from ayahuasca ceremonies, to occultism to rational atheism. Funny enough prolong fasting like 4 days with only water and complete openness and humbleness of how little I knew after dwelling into everything I could was the cherry on top. God bless.

[@zootsoot2006]

Right. She seems to be confusing ego collapse with ego death. The first just leads to suffering. The second is a pathway through suffering to God or the Light on the other side. The first can, but not always, lead to the journey towards the second. Yes, her childish conception of God may have died, but the real God, the living God, is waiting for her if she does in fact push forwards through ego death.

[@arturorubio3553]

@@zootsoot2006 100%, you said it better than I could.

[@CMVMic]

There is no god.

[@zootsoot2006]

@@CMVMic Won't you feel like such a boob when you pass away and find out there is?

[@arturorubio3553]

@@CMVMic prove it

[@blacksheep2409]

I’m sorry you had the experience that you had with Christianity. Jesus loves you and never wanted you to feel you had to do better or feel pressure to do better. That’s why he came. He did what we couldn’t do. He also isn’t the author of evil. He permits certain things to occur, but he can also turn those things for the good. To flat out say everything happens for a reason is too black and white. It’s more nuanced than that from a biblical perspective. Commendable video though. Respect for posting :)

[@D-LineReviews]

Isiah 45:7 says he was the author of evil as well….. guessing that’s why he would send evil spirits…. Not permit but send only to be defeated by a harp….. lmfao Maybe if she would sacrifice her daughter like Japheth to the love god he mighta came to her…. Who knows but ……..one thing Christian’s know for sure is the almighty love god impregnated a virgin in order to then sacrifice himself in order to protect us from himself…..

[@mango5660]

Thanks for sharing! Some parts of this video is so relatable! Never thought I'd see someone with a similar journey (even though my christian phase was much shorter and ego death came as a teen)

[@caramelfrapz]

this makes me wish i had the choice growing up, i was raised in it and currently have to accept that at 23 i will never fully live without someone in my ear trying to bring religion back in my life, pray for me over the phone, or try to reconvert me. i will never completely be at peace until im alone in my own place and thats sad

[@fredbmurphy]

Christianity cannot save you from anything. It only offers an escape, a loophole from the responsibility of morality by the dishonest position of belief; of being held falsely accountable to the testimony of others. You don't even have to answer the question "if God exists or not?" You only have to breakdown the logical fallacies of the belief systems who claim to know about God.

[@zyleafpunch5684]

You can't break something that is not logical, i myself am a christian and the encounter i had with God was not logical at all but was the sole confirmation of my faith. So you can be as logical as you want, someone who truly has faith, cannot be broken.

[@fredbmurphy]

Faith and reason do not intersect: it is conditioning to suggest otherwise.

[@zyleafpunch5684]

@@fredbmurphy i disagree if think they do intersect, because if you don't have your own logical reasons to believe, then your faith is void, just like this girl's faith in christianity, she has never had an experience with God, therefore she has no reason to believe. (Even if subjective, a personal experience is still logical reason, it's just that i can't be proven to others)

[@fredbmurphy]

@zyleafpunch5684 one cannot be legimately held accountable to the testimony of others, which religion does, and Christianity certainly does. (John 3:18) It isn't what you belief is what matters, only what you can know.

[@wyattduclos3174]

This video helped me feel very seen. Thank you.

[@thought_bug]

❤️

[@YESHUA_is_king_21]

Romans 5:6-11 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

[@roguedoge2479]

He sees your faithfulness, brother

[@YESHUA_is_king_21]

@@roguedoge2479 Amen God bless you brother 🙏🏾

[@kavehsankles]

My experience with Christianity was very different from yours in a lot of ways, I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness (so very much the opposite of progressive haha), and it took me til last year to be able to decide to leave. I laughed when you said you found out about feminism at 16 from Tumblr because same! I then realised in my early 20s I'm bi but there was a lot of cognitive dissonance between my identity as a bisexual feminist and the bigotry I heard all around me. It was really scary deconstructing how I viewed my religion and faith, and I pushed down my doubts for a long time because I couldn't deal with it at the time. Now I'm not sure what I believe, I know I'm not a Christian, but I think I'm at peace with that.

[@Maya-zb8nz]

Talking as a Christian: There is a LOT to learn from you, so thank you for sharing ❤

[@Patexer]

Don't be religious. Get to know Jesus Christ and you'll have life.

[@InnocentAlaska]

Cringe , be religious follow Jesus’s teachings and be in his church ☦️

[@Patexer]

@@InnocentAlaska no.

[@InnocentAlaska]

@@Patexer yes. If you’re not in communion with his apostles then you’re not Christian and you don’t follow Jesus.

[@Patexer]

@@InnocentAlaska that’s a lie. Following Jesus has nothing to do what church I go to and the religious rules I follow.

[@Patexer]

@@InnocentAlaska following Jesus is a way of life, not going to church on Sundays.

[@GERBERTH-r8y]

the bible never said that humans should be perfect or good enough. because only god is perfect. that is why he came on earth to die in our place so we don,t have to. it,s about striving to be more like him. not reaching his level.

[@mirandarose7474]

Exactly!!

[@Elysium346]

Striving to be as Christ is no different from striving to be perfect. That's the point. That's the burden. As a former Christian (currently agnostic) I understand her point completely. Being a devout Christian is a great burden. "Those who love me follow my commandments" "You are in the world but not of the world". We cannot be perfect, but we should try our best -- and genuinely trying your best, in body and mind, all the time, is a great burden. Naturally it s worthwhile, if you believe. But when you don't believe and no longer have to try and adhere to the standards of Christian moral perfectionism it does take a constant pressure off you. You can set your own personal standards, without needing to be grounded in Christian doctrine.

[@Jaimechann]

I don’t want to be like someone who didn’t have the compassion or decency to speak out against slavery and the s.x slavery of women and girls going on around them.

[@alias_crouton2671]

Small error in your logic here: God = perfection. Humans = not perfect. Humans should strive to be like God. Therefore, humans should strive to be perfect. The issue with that is that perfection (by your own logic) is purely unobtainable. Why should we strive to be perfect, when we would have a much more manageable time striving to be a better version of ourselves instead? Don't live your life for someone else.

[@MichelleIsNotWright]

Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m a Christian who initially grew up in a more so cult than found true Christianity recently, what I hear in your story is a lack of spirituality, or forming a relationship w God. When I hear like secular, it’s not that it’s just anti religious but it’s also the spirit behind certain things that make it so. Like the Hollywood industry for example, there’s a lot of evil spirits there, and even in some church’s that get infiltrated too. The Bible also acknowledges that life is hard. It is also acknowledges wolves in sheep clothing- pastors that are wolves and pretend to be sheep. And spiritual warfare things like that. But I respect where you are. I wish you had a different experience, it’s helped me a lot on my journey. I wish you well. Have a nice day!

[@TheBeingReal]

Classic no true Scotsman fallacy.

[@phillip-england]

Someone else said it but you need to hear it. No true Scotsman fallacy

[@chemtrooper1]

Could you articulate what you mean by “true Christianity”?

[@Schizniit]

I used to try to be tolerant of Christianity, but growing up in the southern US, I was raised protestant so my family does take the bible too literally (but at other times they'll conveniently leave out the stuff they don't like), I turned atheist when I was about 12 and I first decided I was going to actually read the entire bible in the order it was meant to be read. That was literally the thing that turned me into an atheist was reading the bible and seeing it for what it was on its own without some preacher there to paraphrase it. I prayed, I had vivid night terrors where I would be killed in some horrific event and then I would actually go to Hell in my dreams too because I was afraid of that as a child. Now that religion is threatening to become law here, it's a different game now.

[@Schizniit]

Yep definitely different from my experience in Christianity. It was beaten into me and if I even acted up a little at church, I would get beaten/strangled/you name it. It was always a very negative experience and even down to it effecting my nightmares. I still have trouble sleeping cause as a child I just had so much stress around going to sleep. It is just ruling through fear. That is the goal of Christianity no matter how you slice it.

[@ernisama3654]

@@Schizniit Im so sorry to hear that, but that is not the goal of true christianity. God bless

[@GrantsPassTVRepair]

There are times in my life where I questioned the accuracy of the bible, and if God really cared for me based on the troubled life I've had, and my personal flaws I've not been able to overcome, but something I've noticed on an ongoing basis, are the many synchronicities I've seen, which have been to perfect not to recognize that God has been there for me, and many others I've spoken with on this topic. It's not as if I've been rescued from every trial, and avoided all suffering, but I've experienced enough of these perfectly timed miracles to know that God is real.

[@Lox_128]

Sounds like a lot of the issues raised weren't issues with Christianity (the religion) but with Christianity (the church). Compounded with a weak understanding of theology ("everything happens for a reason", "soul mates"), and need for support through mental health issues, it's entirely understandable why Christianity didn't seem to be the answer. A poor lived experience doesn't mean Christianity isn't true though.

[@thought_bug]

That’s true! It also means that a well-lived experienced doesn’t mean it *is* true

[@Lox_128]

@@thought_bug in isolation, you're absolutely right! But then philosophy and apologetics enters the chat...

[@jacobscott2597]

⁠@@Lox_128apologetics and a strong understanding of theology should not be necessary to have a Christian faith. After all, didn’t Jesus say “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”.

[@Lox_128]

@@jacobscott2597 it shouldn't, and it isn't. But if you have a weak theology and aren't supported by Christian leaders who know what they're doing / talking about, then it suddenly becomes very easy to leave the faith when hard times come about because there's a weak foundation and insufficient support. For some, faith alone isn't enough. I know that goes against what Jesus said to do, but if someone is contemplating leaving the faith I doubt they're going to take his words seriously at that point.

[@EiferBrennan]

No, the fact that it has absolutely no evidence to support it means it's not true.

[@androidsongs5527]

did you ever read the Bible? if you want to know the truth say to God every day to reveal himself to you and who Jesus is until He reveal himself , i thought our life ends when we die and is finished , but i found out that the Bible is real Hell is real Heaven is real angels are real demons are real, Jesus is The King of Kings and he is coming back are you ready?

[@downenout8705]

Simply saying that something is real doesn't defacto make it real. That requires evidence and you have presented nothing.

[@The_joker_is_me]

@@downenout8705 Jesus did exist though

[@downenout8705]

@@The_joker_is_me Christianity clearly started with something and I have no problem accepting that is originated with an apocalyptic preacher who wandered the Levant saying and doing things that upset the Romans who, as they normally did, killed him. That preacher calling themselves Jesus is also an obvious choice. Accepting the historicity of a historical figure however doesn't defacto make any supernatural claims about that character also historically true.

[@T800-theRealOne]

If you understand physics, biology and how nature actually works, there are no gaps for "god" to fill. Embrace reality as it is; not stupid fairy tale characters written in an old book.

[@neoboletuserythropus3111]

I generally agree, but there are still some gaps left, actually. The hard problem of consciousness and the origin of the universe, to name the most servere ones.

[@T800-theRealOne]

@@neoboletuserythropus3111 Once again gaps just mean it defies our current comprehension. Inserting "god", or the easter bunny doesn't answer the question.

[@neoboletuserythropus3111]

@@T800-theRealOne Of course it won't. But understanding how nature actually works is - as of now - an impossibility. Physics has been stagnating for almost a century, after all. There might be no god of the gaps, but those gaps are certainly there.

[@T800-theRealOne]

@@neoboletuserythropus3111 Sure there are gaps, and we will die not having an answer to these deep existential questions. That's just the way it is.

[@Dantriecus]

I had a similar experience. Not really raised Christian, taken to a youth group by a friend, went to soul survivor and then in my late teens just realised I didn’t believe in religion. I was doing a philosophy A-level at the time so I started to have new questions about stuff that I didn’t know how to articulate before. All of which is I throughly enjoyed this video. It’s good to know someone else out there has had a somewhat similar experience. I would be very interested to watch a video about the soul survivor scandal as I wasn’t even aware of it until today. Keep up the good work!

[@tommore3263]

Interesting. I also reject most people's religious views with the exception of Catholicism which I actually find to be sanity and truth itself.. Himself. Interesting that you studied philosophy as did I . I would maintain that the existence of God is demonstrable by reason alone.. which is why most of mankind is overwhelmingly religious. I'd be interested in hearing your philosophical case against, as I've read those of Occam, Hume, Kant and the gang and they simply aren't even coherent. Especially Hume who is popular with atheists. And Bertrand Russell, the big atheist philosopher didn't even know the first line of the cosmological argument. Embarrassing. God, REASON.. BEING.. is why reasoning about being even works. Why science is possible and why modern science appeared only in the Christian west. I'd be interested in any counter arguments you may have. Cheers .

[@Dantriecus]

@@tommore3263 sure. The cosmological argument ignores its own premises, presupposing that god gave us reason and then using reason to justify gods existence is circular and flawed, and the broad consistency of god existing has such a heavy ontological commitment it becomes contradictory.

[@tommore3263]

@@Dantriecus The cosmological argument does not presuppose that God gave us reason. It is an examination of the metaphysical foundations of being and causality.

[@tommore3263]

@@Dantriecus What do you think reason is?

[@Dantriecus]

@@tommore3263 broadly speaking, the ability to draw conclusions from various pieces of information.

[@functionalfitnessworkouts]

You said it SPOT ON. GREAT video....to the point, and mentioning things that ring absolutely true with my experience as well. AWESOME !!!

[@otakuwolfgamer9029]

with all due respect, im not seeing any good points to support her conclusions. The data she presented for her argument as analysis of the past is way too polluted with emotionally driven, personal dilemmas regarding how she perceived christians were and weren't like cultural wise, how she felt at odds, and why it wasn't progressive enough to her liking. Not one point even made that was toward any core Christian doctrine that she didn't agree with so far, only a quarrel with christians interpretation of the word and their actions, which is vastly different from what Christianity represents and she knows that. So I'm lost to what good basis she based her conclusions on so far because her observations do not go at odds with any core christian doctrine yet.

[@JoelLessing]

And yet, I doubt you would have a problem if a conversion *to* Christianity were emotionally driven.

[@otakuwolfgamer9029]

@@JoelLessing trying to point some abstract people bias still doesn't resolve that no argument against the axioms of the belief itself was mentioned.

[@markuskristensen2433]

Love the video keep it up :)

[@frontgamet.v1892]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pIuYn2eIi7-Kqacsi=gbc5mIBDy137FSxS

[@felixmeier3298]

Thats horrible... There was a time, i also lost my faith but thanks to God, he heared my prayers and answered me. Thats the only reason im Christian again, because God acually answered me. I was devastated, i also had existential treats, i was philosophing about the meaning of live, of existence, what would happen to me once i died, did anything at all even matter, am i truly nothing, just a short existence, to forever vanish? I asked, if there is truly a God, if you are really out there and can hear me, send me a sign, a message, anything, because i never got a message, a vision or anything similar,... (So in other words i didnt give up, the little faith i had left, was still hanging on, ask and you shall recieve, search and you will find, etc.) Why is there no one answering me, is there anyone at all? I actually cried XD. When i woke up the next morning, just before opening my eyes, i saw Psalm 22, in burning letters infront of me (I wasnt sleeping, i was waking up, weird time to have a dream). So i got up, hopped on my PC and searched Psalm 22 (i didnt know what this was about, whatever this Psalm 22 was). Awesome, i got my Message. I mean Dang... actually reading it brought me to tears, even now, reading it again, because i was in the same place. The beginning of it hit me like a truck: "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from saving me, so far from my words of groaning? I cry out by day, O my God, but You do not answer, and by night, but I have no rest." This is not the full Psalm, if you are interested, please read it. Most important was, i was heared, and thats more than enough for me, to put my Faith in God, he truly knows me. I hope you find what you are looking for, i hope you get your answers, and that you will never loose hope, or that tiny little faith, you maybe have left, i denounced God too, even told my Brother "God is dead" And even after that, i get a message from him... I know our journeys are not the same, but: "You cant find, what you stopped searching." (Cheesy i know) Best of luck to you, i will pray for you too. (Sorry if my english is bad, im german XD)

[@kellystone7501]

That's one of the worst reasons to believe something I've ever heard. Your God is imaginary. Stop believing things for bad reasons.

[@ziploc2000]

What was god's voice like? I'm guessing more Morgan Freeman than Kenneth Williams.

[@mirandarose7474]

Beautiful testimony ❤

[@yangasidziya3245]

Sounds like a cult to me

[@ElishaTasteTrek]

Amen 🙏

[@counterpoiseag6068]

What an honest and beautiful testimony. I learned a lot from what you’ve shared and will come back to this video from to time to time for reminders

[@thought_bug]

Thanks so much for watching!