why I'm not afraid of aging: the fear of aging keeps you from living

why I'm not afraid of aging: The fear of aging keeps you from living your one and only precious life. aging gracefully as a Black woman. We need to learn how to age gracefully and joyfully so we can enjoy life to the fullest at any age. Why do women hide their age? Why are we told to never share our age with other people? Ageism and the idolization of youth in this Western Society has convinced us that the more we age, the less value we have. But what if we change our views around aging an getting older? What if we learn how to actually age gracefully, joyfully... so much so that we actually look forward to and embrace getting older.
content included: why i'm not afraid of aging, the fear of aging, the fear of getting older, the fear of growing old, hitting the wall is a myth, the fear of aging keeps you from living, how to age with joy, the fear of aging, why are women afraid of aging, ageism in America, how to live with joy, why do women hide their age, how to age backward, how to embrace getting older, quarter life crisis, millennial quarter life crisis, you don't have to get old, how to age gracefully, how to work through a quarterlife crisis, Black women aging beautifully, the benefits of getting older, Black girl creative, Black woman Artist,
▬ Chapters ▬
00:00 The Pressure to Not Age
03:42 Who Benefits From Your Fear of Aging?
07:14 The Idolization of Youth
08:18 Age is Relative
11:01 I'm not afraid of aging
12:39 Ageism and Sexism are Closely Related
15:12 Removing the Shame Around Aging
17:30 How to Age Gracefully
19:32 Aging is a Gift
21:52 Go and Live.
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much love and much joy,
alecia
#thefearofaging #blackgirlcreative #aleciarenece

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Stop allowing age to stop you from living. That's it, right there.

[@AleciaRenece]

YES!!! Absolutely! 💛😊

[@marydavis7978]

At 65 I'm a solo traveler living my life!😅😅😅

[@AleciaRenece]

@@marydavis7978 LOOOOOOVE this!!!

[@denice6239]

I am a 54 year single black woman. I still have dreams and goals I want to achieve through the grace of my Heavenly Father 💖. I desire to travel in my van. So there I said it. I am all about that now. #BlackNomads, #Blackvanlifeliving. This is something in this part of my life I would like to do. Ten years from now I may do something different.

[@barbarabuford5795]

Girl me too! I am 70, and after first seeing Fox and Miles, that's a dream for me too! Reasonably healthy, paying off bills and want to at least rent RV's first! I can see me, visualizing now, at this RV place in the city where I live, staying 3 nights to get a feel for it! If I Never purchase, I can still go on adventures with rentals! Presently, my tiny car is So small, not advised to tow with it. 👍❤️🙏

[@AleciaRenece]

YEEEEEEES!!!! I believe in you!!! You are a Black Nomad for SURE! Welcome to the cluuub! And I love that you're remaining open to the possibilities even 10 years from now. It's how we should all be. It's all beautiful! I cannot wait to hear more about your journey!!!

[@AshaMae]

Do it!! I love to see fellow nomads out here. You're 54 years young sis, do you!

[@Mirror_My_Ambition]

Hey 50 and absolutely in 🥰 with myself, my greys, my EMPTY NEST, living my BEST LIFE knowing who I am.. FINALLY living for me and all my DREAMS.

[@krisw.5025]

You said it and put it in writing! It has to come to pass now!🙂 Stay encouraged!

[@HealthyHairJourney]

I'm 46 and living my best life.

[@AleciaRenece]

LOOOOOOVE THIS!!! YEEEEEEEEEEES!

[@anissa2361]

I had a friend die at 19 as well from lupus. Getting older is a blessing. I know no one knows when they will die but I don't want to die young 😭

[@livefromtheground7274]

Watch that. Young is relative. ;)

[@AleciaRenece]

I'm so sorry about your friend! 💛💛💛 And that is a lovely perspective to have. Aging is a gift!

[@anissa2361]

@@AleciaRenece Thank you! 😊

[@lindabrown0]

Old lady here and I'm just so happy finding all you ladies: Stephanie, Shida, Adalia and all the other ladies. Take care of your health but don't obsess. Take care of your money because it matters. Be grateful for every day in every way. "The older you get, the more secure you are" or should be. Western culture is obsessed with aging. What a silly stress? Ladies don't buy into this "forever young" mentality it's a waste of TIME, which is what life is all about. Please don't be afraid of aging. Just relax and enjoy your life.........

[@LMoreno621]

My fear of aging is NOT DEATH because people die at different ages young or old. My fear is not looking pretty anymore, not being attractive enough, my body getting out of shape, being treated like a worthless fossil, being mistreated, and not being able to do for myself. I put this in prayer 🙏. I agree ☝️ that capitalism has ruined the minds of people. Corporations are greedy and need to use naive young people. Other nations in the world respect their elders more than the USA. This is a great video and yes many older women do look beautiful.

[@drusheenakyles528]

"Time is going to pass either way". Love this insight. The American culture is trash. Thanks for bringing the light on the regular! 65 year old BF

[@goldengirl1056]

I have a channel that I started two weeks ago on Traveling. I just added a second niche on Aging. I am age 70 and proud of it.

[@AleciaRenece]

This is BEAUTIFUL!!! I can't wait to follow you. I'd love to see your content on all of it. Travel, aging and more. 😊💛 Just know you are inspiring many folks like me. 💕☺️🌺

[@goldengirl1056]

I like your Golden Girl song is that for public use? My channel is named Golden Girl, I love to use your song.

[@marydavis7978]

At 65 I'm a solo traveler keeps me young! Age is just a number living my life!😃😃😃

[@soulrebelshanni]

I recently became a death doula and I love the idea of Aging With Joy. A lot of people have this fear of death and aging. 🦋

[@soulrebelshanni]

There's also a great podcast called 70 Over 70, you should check it out.

[@clerknorth9695]

And I'm sick of the ..."looks good for her age" crap.

[@AleciaRenece]

Me tooooo!!! 🤣 She just looks GOOD! 😊💛

[@happygucci5094]

THIS

[@farahware7934]

Whew this is me and my midlife crisis right now. Basically for me it’s less about the physical and more about feeling like opportunities have passed me by

[@barbarabuford5795]

I sincerely get this, but it's Never to late! There are Grants and Online courses too! 'Adventures' still await you, but u Must get out and do something different! Go beyond your comfort zone, Don't remain stagnant, or you Will have regrets! A goal I have now is owning an RV, or at least to rent one. So what do I have to do? Pay off some bills so that I may achieve my goal and save. Heck, it costs money to rent an RV, but oh what fun I will have! Much Love, God Bless. ❤️🙏❤️

[@AleciaRenece]

Hi Farah!!! Yeeeees! Echoing what Barbara already said, it is NEVER too late. Defy convention. Set your own path and the path of others by doing it your way today with what you have. I believe in you. We all do! What are you thinking of doing? I'd love to help!

[@vfree4579]

@@barbarabuford5795 I love what you told her by getting back to the grants sometimes I just feel overwhelmed do I Google grants or do you have a website that I can go to to try to find some grants.

[@livefromtheground7274]

If you sit on the sidelines having a crisis or lamenting about being passed by, life is passing you by. Concentrate on the NOW and the FUTURE. That time is up. If something isn't on your lifeline, it wasn't for you. Peace and Hairgrease.

[@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice]

Okay, I am binge-watching your videos and this one deserves a slow clap! I love the high level of consciousness and awareness that you demonstrate here. Age is a gift. Longevity is a gift. Romans 12:2 tells us “… be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…” We have to transform our perspective of aging and realize it is a gift and a blessing❤️ You add so much value with your videos. Thank you. Gratitude

[@Pacificat]

Yes ma’am. There is so much pressure on women. We are told that we lose value the older we get. Thank you so much for this video ❤️ Also your point about relevancy is spot on!

[@AleciaRenece]

You are so welcome! Thank you so much for watching! Much love and joy to you!

[@Emiliah1996]

Actually many men Ik don't care about that as long as they love her. It's women who are more judgmental both towards other women and themselves but also towards men, at least that's my experience

[@Blues366]

I'm almost 18 and I'm Afraid of not being the Same Person anymore

[@RachaelAlexander]

Sis, you are literally helping me heal and release old programming with this video. 🙏🏾 I remember having a complex even at the age of 12 about being too “old” because I wanted to be a Disney kid and I thought that I had “missed the boat”. I’ve literally had an underlying complex around my age ever since I can remember, which is totally odd to me because in my conscious mind I know that it is just a number and has nothing to do with my worth or value. And yet the programming indeed is deep and I’m releasing it as I hear your encouraging words. Thanks so much for giving voice to this so very important topic that we as black women in the creative industry and just humans in general need to hear 🙏🏾🫶🏾🙂. I love your voice btw ❤

[@lavish169]

The gray hair thing is interesting. You can start graying as a teenager lol

[@AleciaRenece]

Absolutely! I've seen some AMAZING graying of some folks! It's absolutely BEAUTIFUL! 🤗🌺🌻💛

[@ninawestlake5005]

Boom! Believe it or not, i saw a twelve year old completely grey. It is a medical condition sometimes. Something abouth the hair losing its melanin.

[@AshaMae]

I'm looking forward to having a head full of natural gray hair!

[@AleciaRenece]

Yeeeeeeeeeees! Same here! I see so many beautiful women rocking it and it is GORGEOUS!!! 😍💛🤗 They're just so FLY!

[@anissa2361]

Same! I'd actually be sad if my hair didn't turn all gray, lol. It's so pretty to me.

[@livefromtheground7274]

We were "taught" to disrespect aging by being afraid of its effects and listening to folks who lack melanin & WILL NOT AGE well. Yet another component of the American Nightmare. As a teen, I had acne, backne & blotches. If hormones were explained to me, I would not have tried all those chemicals. Today at 58, I feel fab and am loving my clear milk chocolate skin! If the beauty of age were explained, I would've known that at 40 I wouldn't give a heck about a lot of the mess I stressed. Then I had a baby at 41 which shocked many women worried about their figures. In 2017 I met a man who dumped me because I had flattened my round cushiony belly. He liked how it looked, how it felt, and how it shook. Lol - His loss what a fool! Chris Rock said it best, women are all jacked up by magazines or media telling us we "ain't ish" by magnifying every possible negative aspect of our bodies. Bottom line: If you stop aging you stop living, its the END. Living is all I know and I am enjoying it.

[@lindabolique72]

Some folks who lack melanin can now age better thanks to sunscreen just like some folks with melanin can now have long silky hair thanks to Asian hair donors

[@h.patriciablackshire6003]

Love that you are independent and don't necessarily chase marketing exploits; i.e., cosmetics, plastic surgery. The gift of life is extraordinary... glad mentors surrounded me early in life to embrace myself. Wisdom is a thing!💜

[@isisrodrigueztheartist5386]

People tell me i look young for my age. I am turning 60 next month. To b honest, i am in a state of shock. Every minute, hour,day, week, and month matters. I dont waste time on petty issues. I still go to clubs and bars with colored hair and the latest fashion and sometimes young women run up to me screaming “Omg!!! How old r u????” I always tell the truth and they are shocked and want me to join them for a drink and to dance🎉😊. Its as if they are relieved to know that they still have the rest of their life to b anything they want to b. We older peeps give tue younger gen hope!❤

[@Alexis-wh2de]

The obsession with youth is also rampant in Japanese pop culture. Infantilized women are fetishized and while there is still a culture of "honoring one's elders" if you aren't an elder or young, you're just judged.

[@carlawalker4671]

Another wonderful share. I encourage women to allow themselves to feel what they feel and to keep doing them. Out of many of my friends I am the youngest and one of the few that rocks her gray hair while loving every strand of it. Know what you do at your age is your greatest win. You really hit the nail on the head regarding how our worth is measured and the reasons why. This talk is so timely for many at this crossroad. Thank you 🌻.

[@AleciaRenece]

Carlaaaa! YES!!!! Feel what you feel and keep on doing them. That's is such a lovely mantra to live by. And how beautiful is "Know what you do at your age is your greatest win." This is literally life changing. I try to remind myself that my best days are now. Today in this moment. And Each new moment is a new opportunity for more joy and a new "best". And yes. I am taking back my worth and redefining it for myself. Each and EVERY one of us is worthy. Period. Sending you so much love and joy today! 💛😊🌸

[@carlawalker4671]

@@AleciaRenece 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[@LindaSHusser]

Girl.... you done said a WORD!!!! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!!!

[@amandaliscette6541]

I love your content Alecia!🤗🤗🤗

[@AleciaRenece]

Awwww! Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛

[@marvaspence5252]

So much wisdom in your words

[@ifeellikeastar9052]

What a great video! I’m in my early 20s (super young lol) but I feel sad for women who start calling themselves old grandmas once they hit 25. I see the entirety of our 20s as a very youthful time. I’m trying to enjoy my youth to the fullest because I know I’ll only be this young and unburdened once. But at the same time I can’t wait to grow up because that means I will gain wisdom and valuable life experience. I feel that my peak isn’t going to happen in my early 20s like society says, but it’ll come later after I experience more in life and reach a comfortable place. I deeply crave security within myself and I know I will reach that someday. But that all comes with age. For the most part I’m not afraid of aging and I don’t understand the obsession with it. Plus… black don’t crack! We age like fine wine 🤣🍷 physically aging is the least of my worries.

[@SailorSlay]

I needed this in my life

[@sixtyblackmystictraveler]

If the industry/business can’t convince you there’s something wrong with you, they can’t get you to buy their stuff to “fix” what’s wrong with you. I found my first gray hair around your same age…it was in my nostril!! Haha I had to tell my girlfriend about it when I got back to my plane seat and we had a good laugh. She didn’t want to know how I discovered it haha I was checking the mirror to make sure my nostrils was clean after blowing my nose and there it was!!! I have been age positive EVERY single year of my body’s cycle. This birthday (60) however has been a process to digest. I discovered it was easy being age positive with people all around me telling me how much younger I look. I stopped coloring my hair in a society that encourages women to dye their hair until the coffin in order to be relevant and not “disappear”, to be attractive to others. This birthday is also about the inner movement to stand in my power even more when the outer societal movement is to tell me to shut up and sit down because I’m a “has been”, not relevant, not sexy, old. And I press on…👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@kaybelletv3659]

I love the way you think because I resonate with you. 🙌🏾 More of us (women) need to embody this message.

[@SusanSingsSongs]

This is wonderful Alecia! With love from Susan ❤

[@AleciaRenece]

Hi Susan! Thank you so much! Much love and joy to you! ☺️🌺💛

[@adamamunu3046]

This video is such a breath of fresh air, I really love all the points that you raised. Thank you.

[@AlieshiaTV]

Yes aging gracefully

[@ayamars4444]

I absolutely love this! I've been talking and thinking about this KZbin commentary space/ channels and while I enjoy listening to younger people (I'm 36) I think a lot of them miss the element of nuance that comes with experience.

[@calmingandpeaceful]

I have been recommending your channel to family and friends You have so much wisdom wowed

[@dje3.16]

thank you for this video. God bless 🙏🏼

[@conversations1250]

You thought this through and came up with excellent arguments.

[@AleciaRenece]

Awwwww! Thank you so much! ☺️💛

[@sandrarandall6574]

Beautiful piece!

[@AleciaRenece]

Sandra!!! Thank you so much!!!

[@user-vs8cu7rp1i]

Love this!

[@AleciaRenece]

Yaaaaaay! I'm so happy you enjoyed this. Thank you so much for watching!

[@tiffanytaylor8807]

I love this video. Thank you sis 💕

[@AleciaRenece]

You are so welcome! It was my pleasure!

[@sinakonjikelana]

Soooooooo wholesome!! Thank you so much Alecia, love from South Africa! 😘

[@AleciaRenece]

Hiiiiiiiii, Beautiful!!! And it was my absolute PLEASURE 💛🤗 Much love and joy to you as well!!!

[@barbarabuford5795]

Oh, wanted to say, I just listened to Stephanie Perry talk about 'If u don't like the place u go to' .., regarding Black American women traveling to foreign countries living, house sitting, etc., Highly enlightening! I was delighted to hear your name mentioned as the second winner of her 2021 December Declutter Challenge, that will allow u to take a much needed Sabbatical! Good for you! Once goal is reached for the Artist, Myeshia Francis, you are next! Sincerely Happy and proud of you! ❤️❤️❤️

[@carlawalker4671]

Yessss, I'm a follower of Stephanie Perry as well and was so excited to hear that Alecia is one of the three. Definitely deserving. Thanks for dropping this here.

[@AleciaRenece]

Y'all are so kind!!!! Thank you so muuuch! I am so excited for Myesha's journey and I am HONORED to be a finalist. It would LITERALLY change my life. Black women coming together literally changes the world! I'm grateful for Stephanie and her community of amazing women. I just sit and marvel!

[@dwalker6868]

Thank you

[@AleciaRenece]

It was my pleasure. Thank YOU! Seriously. 💛😊

[@34missgreen]

I definitely needed this video, especially since my birthday is next week! 🎂 🥳 🎉 Thank you! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

[@AleciaRenece]

Ayyyyyyye! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAAAAAAAY!!!

[@simplyredislandgirl]

Well said!👍💪💎🔥🤓😉

[@AleciaRenece]

Thank you so much! ☺️💛

[@thetwinspuppetshow71]

AMEN!!!!

[@AleciaRenece]

💛😊

[@ninawestlake5005]

Age is indeed 100 % relative both to men and women. Depending on your age, you'll have different thoughts of what is young and old. The standards keep changing. Just like fast fashion. I'm a classic girl with a splash of modern in all aspects btw.

[@gybx4094]

Our own internal fear is what holds us back as we age. Conquering fear is imperative, but very difficult.

[@magnificentmidlife]

Love this video! Can I send you a copy of my book where I write about lots of this, especially gendered ageism?

[@AleciaRenece]

Yes! please do!

[@aprilclover2429]

I love your videos! I do believe however that people are considered young well past age 25. I think that people are considered young well into their 30’s.

[@AleciaRenece]

I completely agree. To me 50 plus is young. But the marketing is horrible. The country tells folks once you pass 30, you're done. It's so sad!

[@mpricemsw]

Now this is a whole WORD!! 👏🏼 Everything goes back to slavery. That is why aging is viewed as a "problem" in some 👀 societies.

[@AleciaRenece]

Giiiirl!!!! Yeeeees!!!!!! EVERYTHING goes back to slavery. EVERYTHING. And precisely. Folks aging is only a problem to them that seek to exploit.

[@osainharris748]

I'm about write a research paper on this for my college writing course. If anyone has any input or insight on this please reply to my comment, thanks :).

[@AleciaRenece]

Yeeeeeeeeeees! That sounds absolutely amazing!!! And yes y'all! Please contribute if you can! ☺️💛🌺

[@SharitaBlacknall]

Do you have a podcast?

[@AleciaRenece]

Hi there! I do! I have a couple. The first is "Black Girl Creative Podcast" and the other main one right now is "The Love Letter Project" ☺️💛🌺

[@WorldofDaisyFlowers]

Damn. Why are you reading my mind 😅

[@AleciaRenece]

I'm right there with you 💛☺️🌺

[@newworldlord643]

I made a cheslie chryst video, im sad she was so stressed about 30 and i spoke about the toxic culture of ageism. Its disgusting. Im 38 btw im glad i unsubscribed from that shit

[@barbarabuford5795]

Oh girl, u r still so young, wet behind the ears! Anyway, I embrace where I am each stage, age wise. U have to love yourself first, all of you, before others can love and respect you! I use to think no one would want to date a divorced me with 2 kids, Ha. Then I hear about someone having 12 kids and getting married, YES! Or Hearing about a friend on their 4th marriage! And having/ earning money does Not make one instantaneously happy. If really rich, it comes with it's own worries/ problems- people trying to rob u, abduct your kids to get what u have. Getting off subject. Age is relevant to the person. I wish Americans respected the aged more.

[@barbarabuford5795]

Truthfully, it took me a while to get to this mindset, at peace with self.

[@AleciaRenece]

Barbara. You are so generous. Thank you so much for sharing this! This is encouraging to me, and I KNOW it'll be encouraging to other Black women. You're amazing!!! Thank you so much for being so encouraging!!!

[@AleciaBAndersonBassSinger1]

So I think I found my twin

[@AleciaRenece]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Alecias United ☺️💛🌺

[@Three721]

I’m afraid of looking older than my husband. I have several strands of silver hair ( quite sparkly 😂). My husband is bald and has light hair so it looks blonde on him. I’m 3 years younger than him (I’m 44). However working as a hospice nurse death has become more “real” for me and I want to enjoy every moment grey or wrinkles as they are a blessing but anything that’s Gods plan is made to be unacceptable.

[@AlieshiaTV]

The thumbnail lol

[@AleciaRenece]

LOL! I was trying. LOL

[@AlieshiaTV]

@@AleciaRenece it’s great & realistic lol

[@ninawestlake5005]

How in the hell can we only be young to the age of 25? What fool created that idea? Omg.😂. So...we are old for 75 years? Then we should all retire at 25. I believe in half and half. 50 years young and 50 years old. We need not fear any of them. They are inevitable. Eat and live well. The rest doesn't count. It is all added junk to kill time.