Why I struggle with December: A Creator Story

[@OutdoorAdventureTV]

As a "senior citizen" who can hear the clock ticking EVERY DAY, your story rings true. I have come to realize that I need another three lifetimes to do everything that I want to do. On my last day there will be so much left on the plate. It's the curse of being curious and interested in EVERYTHING around me. I have come to realize that creating KZbin videos of my adventures is how I will leave a small legacy that I lived on this earth. Mortality is an evil master.

[@CurtisPenne]

Subbed! =) your mining adventures look incredible

[@OutdoorAdventureTV]

@@CurtisPenne Thank you so much! We have a great time. 🙂

[@Levi_Allen]

I really love that quote, "Every man has two lives, and the second starts when he realizes he has just one" really helps frame things for me. And pushes me to make the most of this short time we have. Thanks as always for your comments and support, I appreciate you a lot

[@markbone]

Loved this Levi. Also, this is my first comment as a KZbin premium account user. Thank you for showing me the light

[@kathykelley379]

I love all of this. I grew up in Panama, Costa Rica, and Quito, Ecuador. The video brought back so many memories. I sit here now, with cancer growing older. But…. I’m so happy. My spirits are high because, I made memories. God bless you!!!

[@matthewTobrien]

This is one of those videos that makes you say to yourself, "I f**king LOVE KZbin." Can't express enough how meaningful it is to see a film like this where someone is vulnerable, self-aware, open & honest about their struggles. Appreciate this video so much - thanks for making it and sharing it with all of us. ❤👏

[@cabellofatto]

Amen.

[@Josh_Sattin]

Another beautiful video. Thanks for sharing Levi!

[@edwardkie380]

I've been watching you GROW since you filmed Jessie and Alicia .. love your Hat I've got one too!! I'll be turning 73 end of the month. . . Just keep dreaming growing in your trade and loving others and the Lord .. your going to do fine . Ed in Phoenix Arizona writes.

[@LandRoverDrive]

Don't chase, but journey. 😉 Take the time to enjoy it in the moments, even the day to day moments. For me, I use the Morning Coffee as checkpoint to stop and enjoy, because I really enjoy my morning coffee without any distractions and watching the views, being that from the back of my overlander or out off my window at home. 👌 By nature we are impatient, an by slowing down your head and looking at it as a 5 year or even a 10 year plan, you will get a better sense of piece and calm. 😊 Wish you the best for your 2023, today you can enjoy the fact that it's not December and the sun is on rising path. Best, Simon 🇳🇴

[@paddyenemymine]

Dude. That was narrating and editing at it’s finest. Loved the grading, music und well used breaks. Such a good combination of joy and melancholy. Even the sandals looked cool

[@OurMillionAdventures]

The struggle is real. So much of what you said reminds me of what Ira Glass says on the Creative Process. It's a process... keep pushing.

[@RCodyWanner]

absolutely gorgeous visuals paired with intensely true words -- wow. feel this on the deepest of levels. not sure where it fits in but -- 2 plate bench, 3 plate squat, 4 plate DL -- praying those words you spoke to us at the end there bounce right back to you.

[@Levi_Allen]

appreciate you brother. the inner voice is certainly one to grapple with!

[@MobileDwellings]

I'm really appreciating you sharing this side of you. Very relatable. Your videos these days leave me with a feeling that is benefiting me greatly: that I am not alone.

[@yari369]

You nailed it Levi. Thank you for this. You are not alone and I head into the mountains for my answers as well, hope to see you out there one day

[@Jhernandez898]

The entirety resonated wholeheartedly. Some Incredible take aways from this glimpse of your journey. “Desire for virtue follow by the appropriate amount of action” “Pause, and you will remove the noise you cast upon yourself”

[@almawonders]

Today I found myself exceptionally frustrated, and my self-talk became increasingly bullying: not good enough, not courageous enough, not creative enough, not... enough. And in a last attempt to distract my menacing thoughts, I almost blindly clicked on this video as it appeared in the timeline. You guessed it: I really needed this. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability so we can all shine a kinder light on ours, too. This is what makes the internet a better place. 🙏

[@camshand]

Levi dude... What a special video man, thank you. The biggest challenge I have is the thought of What if, what if I worked harder, what if I pushed myself further? And so in 2022 I did, I went back to uni part time online, whilst working full time, and making KZbin videos and working on brand campaigns for some of the world's leading tech brands... And in the end... It took everything I had and Ultimately my creativity felt like it suffered. It's the curse, you try to do more, work harder, but then you cut out the fluff. The tinkering, the making random stuff on the weekends, and all the downtime jobs. All of which fuel creativity, give the brain time to come up with ideas. They say ideas come in the shower for a reason! So for 2023 I've blocked out Sundays as pure rest days, family and friends time, tinker time, build a shelf time, the fluff of Life. And then for the other 6 days I'll go 110% hard. I'm currently reading the book four thousand weeks, which ultimately shifted my perspective of going all in all the time. And it's given some clarity around the hamster wheel feeling of trying to do more with out time but never reaching the level of our pursuits in all areas. Anyways yeah good book by the dude that wrote it, and good vid from you man. Appreciate you sharing how you're feeling. Helps us creative types a lot ❤️

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts Cam! I will definitely check out that book. And totally agree that rest and play time are essential

[@WakeUpMatt]

Man that hit home! Beautiful words and shots Levi! Thanks again for the amazing visit!🤙🏼

[@Levi_Allen]

What was it, over 5 years in the making? glad we made it happen Matt. I'm excited to edit the vlog from our hangout as well.

[@JakeDaly]

Beautiful words and a beautiful video... much love, Levi!

[@MayurMahapatraFilms]

you are my favourite creator so far.. that's just because of your style of story telling and genuineness ...

[@reporter919]

You did it again. Sharing these thoughts that so many of us have is so incredibly helpful. In a way, in this video where you questioned your purpose, you were actually fulfilling it. That’s what I think anyway.

[@cabellofatto]

I was glued to the screen. More people need to see your stuff. Thank you for sharing this.

[@bestattentions]

Hey Levi, I've been a passive consumer of your stuff (+Mark, Jesse, and others) this past year, getting inspired about KZbin channels and making things. THIS is the stuff that really matters. Thanks for sharing all of who you are! P.S. I cannot recommend highly enough the book "Four Thousand Weeks" for questions like 3:00 (Am I doing enough?)

[@reillyminecraft3949]

i feel that a lot of creators likely feel the same, and there is no shame in acknowledging the stress

[@Levi_Allen]

This video isn’t really about stress ; )

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks Ryan Harris for the beautiful music, listen on spotify! left.ly/spotify-ryanharris *In Hawaii I recorded a hike with Matt,* check out the video on his channel! kzbin.info/www/bejne/j2qnl2SshLaLraM Follow Mark kzbin.info/door/4exYtWOlHd4mL-owyyA12w Follow Jesse! kzbin.info/door/9uPmpbVinTDL4-aZN-Y1Uw

[@usernameTheInnerTube]

Just a thought, but maybe you should be thinking about how you got to go to Hawaii, in the middle of winter during the holiday season, and play with the boys and leave your wife at home and she hasn't divorced you yet. Don't get me wrong I love my wife dearly and she lets do a lot of things and get away with a lot of crap, but there's no way in hell that I'm going to be able to go to Hawaii and not take her. Just a thought from a guy who probably has 30 plus years marriage experience on you. I do enjoy your videos by the way and am not trying to deter from what you do. Thanks.

[@Levi_Allen]

@@usernameTheInnerTube Bless your heart, but I think you might be projecting here a little

[@usernameTheInnerTube]

@@Levi_Allen Thanks for the reply, but no projection here. I've just been married to the same woman for over 35 years and learned a long time ago how to keep her happy, not trying to say you're not doing the same for your lovely wife, just trying to be helpful and point out the pitfalls. Again, love your work. I hope you and your family have a blessed and happy new year!

[@Levi_Allen]

@@usernameTheInnerTube I appreciate your concern

[@itsbrittjohnson]

beautiful. thank you.

[@ExploringCanadaInfo]

Talk to yourself like @jessedriftwood talks to you. Everyone needs a friend like Jesse. 👋🇨🇦 Here's to the best 2023 ever, looking forward to your recap at the end of 2023 already.

[@timothy-holt]

As someone who doesn’t know you and sits on the other side of your content, it feels to me like you are doing enough. Of course that’s just my perception. I have been greatly inspired by your work, and I’m sure many many others feel the same way. For me you hit the nail on the head at the (2:52) mark. I ask myself that question often, and it is a really difficult thing to answer and unpack. It is generally followed by the toxic self talk (3:15) that I also experience as I try to create a life that is deeply meaningful. To create work that is deeply meaningful. The downtime is the hardest, because we are left with our thoughts. We are alone with the person we struggle to understand the most. There isn’t a higher virtuous version of yourself, you already are that virtuous person. Is it possible that on a much deeper level you are unsatisfied with something else...and that it manifests in the work feeling unsatisfying? I really appreciate you sharing your perspective. Cheers, -Tim

[@MadisonClysdalee]

This hit home, thanks for sharing!

[@Levi_Allen]

glad to hear that Madison!

[@MikeDancy]

Dude, are you ever 30 yet? You'll look back at these days in 20 years and have nothing but great memories. Enjoy every day.

[@brianvansickle5196]

I’m not sure this feeling of untapped potential is limited to creators. Thank you for this post. It spoke to me in a moment I needed it the most. You’re not alone either.

[@Levi_Allen]

I totally agree. I made this from a creator perspective, but I know it's not unique to creators as well. Thanks for watching!

[@letyourmusshang]

Wow Levi this is remarkable ❤ Thank you for what you do for this world and community

[@RossCollicutt]

Every word of this hits home. Feels like I’ve done so much yet accomplished so little.

[@MrMoerbe101]

We need more videos Levi, I miss your build videos. Your so awesome and tell such a great story.

[@chris_sparrows]

Thank you for this. Bouncing off what Jesse said, I was listening to something else recently and they said that in order to "love your neighbor as yourself" you have to first love yourself.

[@Levi_Allen]

I totally agree. I thought I had learned that lesson years ago, but here I still am relearning it every year

[@JasonYapp]

Amen to that my friend. But, from one brother to another - you are doing plenty of good, meaningful work from my view and observation.

[@alpinewonders]

It`s interesting that a successful youtuber should feel this way. How much more an obscure Alpine filmmaker on Vimeo....

[@mitchellnurseproductions]

Great stuff, Levi! Reminds me of a quote I recently read: "In our pursuit of happiness we've overlooked the fact that happiness can be found in the pursuit itself." I have to keep reminding myself of this and to stay in the present. Let's ride soon!

[@MattEpicAdventures]

Thank you for sharing this feeling. Thank your for putting words on it. Thank you for uploading it. 🙏 Love & Respect Matt

[@TySPAID]

Needed this reminder today! Also trying to do more storytelling like this, so thank you for the great inspiration!

[@StephenJReid]

Honest. I feel this. Usually hits around the end of October, the year feels gone by then. Creators have to remind ourselves though, that what we get to do is a gift, creating new stories for people to experience. We should appreciate the fact that we get to do it at all. Even just one video a year that even just one person watches and gets something from is an amazing thing in of itself.

[@Levi_Allen]

Totally agree. That can often by why I feel even more guilty. I literally get to live out my dream making videos for clients and also for myself. So it makes it all the more painful when I feel I haven't given my best

[@CanadianSledDog]

That was beautiful! I'm right there with you in this. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[@Levi_Allen]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@liamr-f2881]

Beautiful storytelling Levi, it was a pleasure to come along with you for the ups and downs of this trip. Although I've moved away from content creation, this curse has definitely followed me. I'm sure it's part of the human condition, which is why these messages resonate with so many people, it's lovely to see you explore these themes in your work. For the past few years I've been passionate about psychedelic medicines, which are tools that when used intentionally can help people to make vast improvements in the way they relate to the world, other people and themselves. Being out on the west coast, perhaps you have heard about this in the news or through some other manner. I think that someone as sensitive and sensible as yourself would find this extremely intriguing and rewarding to look into further, there are some really incredible stories to be told here that aren't being heard. If you're interested, I'd be happy to connect you with whatever resources will help you explore this: information, people, etc. All the best to you in the new year Levi, here's to being just a little bit kinder to ourselves for this trip around the sun!

[@Levi_Allen]

Appreciate you Liam! and yes definitely keeping my eye on that area as things progress. Some really hopeful stories from people

[@ReimannPembroke]

Damn I needed this video this morning. As a creative-minded person, I am struggling to find a healthy balance between making a decent living and feeling fulfilled. It seems like everything I do to get closer to my creative goals comes with a financial sacrifice. It's important to know that we aren't alone in this. The journey is hard. But eventually, (no matter how long it might take) we end up where we are supposed to be. You earned another subscriber today man. Keep it up!

[@HiethGeorge]

Another blinder & beauty story - just pause reflect & have fun making stuff for the right reason for fun and be kind to yourself then the chase will become insignificant - it is great know we are not alone - take care and stay safe !

[@Levi_Allen]

Take care Hieth!

[@jamesprecious1035]

What a beauty! Nice reflection on life and wonderful imagery. Thanks Levi, may 2023 let you continue the chase in a good way.

[@Levi_Allen]

Appreciate you James! All the best to 2023!

[@paddyjames14]

You’re an amazing man. I’m 21 years old and you’ve inspired me to start filming my back country skiing excursions with my pals. Keep filming brother!

[@friendonfoot]

Only discovered your channel a month ago and wow this really hit me. Beautiful visuals and a deep honest story that I can completely relate to. Thank you for sharing your talents and your words. Happy chasing

[@MattPochwat]

Truly beautiful and incredibly relateable. Thanks for this Levi

[@Levi_Allen]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@MikeMurphyCo]

Well said, Levi. Happy 2023! 👊

[@tylerd3458]

Real shit. Thanks for making this. Hope the new year brings you inspiration, hope and self appreciation.

[@EricShellTheArtOfTheCraft]

I hear you brother, and relate. Been watching you silently for a long time. What if your subconscious definition of “success” is not your own. But instead an outside pressure from societal norms or wherever…. I felt the same for many years, and today I finally love myself because I redefined success based on the “life” that is within me and leads me. Outside forces drive us, which is not healthy. Inside energy, inspires, empowers and satisfies us. That is my definition of a successfully life today, how true was I to the compass within. It’s no longer my goodness, it’s no longer how much I achieved, it’s no longer how inspiring was I to others. It’s simply how true was I to the desires, the life and energy within? Interestingly enough….I’ve never achieved as many of those standard definitions of success as I have since adopting this belief. And I love being able to look at other peoples success and be genuinely happy for them without feeling any pressure to compete, because then I would be instantly failing my own calling. Much love my friend.

[@Levi_Allen]

Totally agree that subconscious expectations from our upbringing and society totally play into this

[@loklan89]

Beautiful & introspective Levi. I can definitely relate to a lot of what you spoke about 👊 Thanks for sharing.

[@jordandery]

One of my favorite videos you have done to date. Really spoke to me.

[@NathanielRolland]

Great vid, Levi. You're an inspiration to so many.

[@ScottBell]

I feel ya buddy. Thanks for continuing on the journey and sharing it with the world. I think @JesseDriftwood nailed it on the head at the end there. Love yourself like you'd love someone else - something I work on every day.

[@Levi_Allen]

Yeah if you can't make the feelings go away, you can at least change the way you respond to them

[@edwardleefilms]

I needed this. Thanks Levi for putting your honest thoughts and experience in such a beautifully shot video! So many points from this video is helping me overcome the new year “hype” and getting into a mindset of gratitude.

[@Levi_Allen]

I appreciate you Edward. I hope I get to see you in person some time this year

[@JaredIsham]

Oh man, this sounds like you are telling my story. "Did I try hard enough?"

[@TuckerPearce]

Maui Brewing, great choice Levi! I get not feeling fulfilled but for what it’s worth you are so inspiring These videos you bring to us are so AMAZING. Thanks!

[@Levi_Allen]

I appreciate that Tucker, thanks as always for the kind words

[@ChrisGrant3d]

Totally hits home. Thanks Levi!

[@johnsilver228]

Thank you. I often beat myself up and feel so hopeless.

[@westonwoodcraft-rq9sb]

You put into words the way my mind feels on the daily. Appreciate the advise and hope brother 👏🏽

[@Levi_Allen]

I appreciate that

[@michaelshearer8427]

Not a digital content creator, but I feel this 100% too👌Always enjoy your videos. Thank you.

[@Levi_Allen]

yeah I would imagine its not creators alone who feel this way. thanks for watching!

[@FF-gu7jz]

Thanks for this video Levi! Exactly how I often feel at the end of the year. I just want to keep working, the people around me often do not understand. I think it is a common thing when it comes to employee vs having your own company. Always good to know that I can find peace in gods presence.

[@Levi_Allen]

The tough thing about being your own boss is that there is always more you could do! But the freedom that comes from it I wouldn't trade for anything. All the best!

[@brianwrussell]

This is so encouraging. Thanks, Levi!

[@TedNemeth]

hey good one Levi. Been a long time fan of ur channel/journey. We’re all on this expressive creative life journey. I did the 9-to-5 cubical corporate life in NYC for 15 years. Now I’m a gypsy with a camera. You made some points in this video that def resonated well. Keep pushing brother.

[@Domcaptures]

100% can relate brother. Keep doing what you love and sharing stories along the way. It inspires us all

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks Dominick!

[@EdisonMotors]

This rings true…. Also, beautiful Photography

[@Levi_Allen]

Many thanks! we need to connect soon. I'm fired up to finish my Edison video : )

[@margoburns9085]

Thank you for sharing your deepest self with us. That is not easy. One word for this video...beautiful.

[@Farmelle]

Levi, I love everything that you produce. Every video a beautiful work of art and some have literally moved me to tears. You may be chasing the dream, but what we leave littered in our path through life is a testament in itself. I've been lucky in my life. I've had a career as a computer game programmer that spans 30 years and over 50 projects. Some of those projects an am still in awe of, others, not so much, but even as I rapidly near the half century on this planet I am still chasing my dream. I am almost resigned to the fact it may never happen as the risk is something that my whole family would have to bear. But while I reach for the stars, sometimes looking back at the ground reminds me how far I have come. Be kind to yourself. It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Don't be so impatient to get there that you miss the view along the way. You have time. Peace

[@Levi_Allen]

Appreciate you as always Paul, thanks for the support and the comment

[@documentaryfilmacademy]

Beautiful storytelling Levi. I can really relate to this. Thanks for sharing 😊

[@Levi_Allen]

So glad!

[@richardgordon9428]

Solid reminder and beautiful videography 😊

[@grimwerx9071]

Levi, this was very powerful and something I needed to hear. Wishing you all the love.

[@Levi_Allen]

you as well!

[@schoeferfilm]

Great Video Levi 👏 Hawai looks a little bit like Madeira 😂 I have been there lastly and uploaded 3 short videos 🎥 best cinematic greetings from germany

[@marvinandrew]

THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE, LEVI MUCH APPRECIATED

[@TheAaronalden]

I had a pastor who said if you're not struggling with something, then you aren't trying and you aren't growing. And if you can keep it productive and healthy the struggle and pursuit are good. Be kind with yourself with what you view as failure and shortcomings because those are part of the process and you don't always see the growth and progress until you have pushed through the clouds.

[@TheAaronalden]

Easier said than done of course. But it is good to know we all are in this struggle.

[@gwynncool]

Great watch, praying you find contentment in the rock of ages who laid down his life for his sheep- Hold tight to Christ brother

[@lorenz_paulus]

well said! absolutely empathize with you. i‘ve come to think of that whole (unfulfilled) struggle as what ‘growth’ just feels like; you know, the relentless urge to do more, to achieve more. i’m not saying i’m 100% at peace with it, but it sometimes helps reminding myself that all those accompanying uncomfortable feelings are (just) one side of the coin of what initially is quite desirable: to grow as a creative.

[@JasonLorette]

As I'm now in my fifth decade of life...and still figuring it out...I feel the "not doing enough" in my core dude. I started a YT channel at 49, my creative journey is when I'm most happy, but feel like I'm spinning my wheels a lot both with my creation and life...I feel it man. Great vid.

[@Levi_Allen]

I think its a special kind of paradox a lot of maker/creator types have to grapple with most of their life. It's exhausting haha

[@TimNorman1]

I 100% agree with you about the progress bar and December being the worst. So many unfinished projects. So many items not done... yet. Expectations lost. The progress bar is about to be rest, but I don't' see the progress that I've made throughout the year. I'm focused on what wasn't done or finished or what was lost that year. January is part of planning out a year and being hopeful.. December the time to look back and analyze how the year went, and regret the items not.. not done, not started, not thought of, not there, not pushed... just not. I've done well to not get as bugged by it this year by the negativity. I'm trying to focus on the future instead. Change what I can when I can, and the rest will hopefully fall into place.

[@Levi_Allen]

yeah the progress bar squeeze at the end of the year is no fun at all

[@Leo_Perf]

I love the story telling, love the visuals and love the tone. Well done man! 👌

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks a ton!

[@annagracheva8714]

Thanks for the story and the message, i wrote down what your friend said about loving yourself as a reminder because i have the same issues and he said very important words. Just came to your channel because i was looking for information on Sony lenses and watched this video... Beautiful!

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks Anna!

[@samuelgrayart]

Needed this man, thanks for sharing.

[@limepeels1061]

Connect with van neistat- Casey’s brother. A podcast or some creative project you two would be, interesting

[@Levi_Allen]

I'd love to chat with Van

[@karansarin]

Thanks for sharing this man 🖤

[@dutchglobetrotter6464]

Love the adventure. Have a good year mister!

[@Digital.Done.Right.]

All the love to you Levi and your family. This is a beautiful story.

[@Levi_Allen]

You are so kind

[@BenjaminJaksch]

This makes me sad. Levi you have created something truly moving and beautiful here. You have opened yourself up in a very honest and authentic way. The reason it makes me sad is the little attention work like that gets on KZbin. Especially in relation to your following. By the way I will be in BC soon - maybe we get a chance to meet 🙏🏻

[@mikejf4377]

Your work is great, you need to believe in your self. Your lucky you are still very mobile to do what you do. I still am a person that needs audio while I’m doing things. I don’t sleep with them, I don’t think I could do that.

[@neilbarriskell7840]

In the end, we all wonder/chase what we will leave behind, and as someone in their 60s, perhaps this reflection comes more often. But with age, if you are lucky, comes acceptance, not an acceptance not to move forward, but acceptance that we are but human. Enjoy the successes, learn from things that go wrong, love, live and explore; the rest is what it is.

[@Levi_Allen]

Appreciate that Neil

[@enriqueleft1785]

that was amazing. it really spoke to me .jessie worded it perfectly. although this vid would have been nice sooner December is gone thank goodness

[@stevezytveld6585]

Thank you. This was beautifully put. And something that I needed to hear. Happy new year to you and your family and everyone you love and respect. May it be filled with joy. - Cathy (&, accidently, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown/Pimisi

[@Levi_Allen]

Same to you!

[@JoelRuby]

I think my sense of unfulfillment comes from my dissatisfaction working on my own. I find that working together with other creators is what often sparks the most ideas, exciting solutions, and feelings of connection to the work. This year I hope to work less as a one man band video guy, and more as a collaborative partner on projects with measurable force for good.

[@saltlife316]

wow i really enjoyed this, pleasantly surprised

[@Levi_Allen]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@VincentClarke]

Man, I can relate SOOO MUCH..thanks for sharing.✌🏼✨

[@Levi_Allen]

Thanks for watching!

[@westnylefx]

I like the Volvo. i rap about those cars. i love them very much

[@ChasingPhotography]

This brought a lot of emotions. Hence my channel/brand name.

[@Levi_Allen]

always chasing

[@HustleHue]

amazing footage!!!!

[@Levi_Allen]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@ThomasStewartDev]

Been following your story for awhile - it seems like your faith used to be a big part of your life. I'd love to hear more about how that has affected your desire to be a more virtuous version of yourself and how your beliefs shape your self-talk.

[@Levi_Allen]

I'm not so sure this is the best platform for me to explore that in a healthy way, but I appreciate the idea. Maybe one day I will be able to do that better

[@heather.hughes]

This is so beautiful!!

[@Levi_Allen]

thank you!

[@kramerlewis]

You are not alone.

[@MrMoerbe101]

I get the impression that you follow Christ from small pieces of videos through the years. I’d love to know your spiritual journey. Your Definitely not alone!