WHY IM NOT GETTING MARRIED | Boundaries, Healing, & Projection+ Pressure From Women

[@sasuskieyang4840]

Ngl when I saw you were pregnant I was confused, last videos I watched you were sad and unsure of your love life. It's easy to judge though, even I did. But clearly I missed something since now you have a loving partner, which is an amazing feeling. Marriage doesn't save a relationship, nothing is guaranteed. So waiting doesn't hurt. But I just hope you guys continue to be happy and good for each other. I think some people are scared of a part two of you being left to care for another kid alone. However, they are expressing it in not the kindest ways lol

[@DakotaaCross]

There’s also a misconception that I was left lol i wasn’t left to raise a kid alone I left myself and because of that he takes that out on Aubree if I wanted my family together I could or but I respected myself to not stay with someone who was unfaithful a lot of two parent households are actually single mothers w/ w man who takes up space my partner is amazing and I have no worries at all

[@sasuskieyang4840]

Well said! ​@@DakotaaCross

[@budellababy]

I think it's great that you're doing what your heart calls for. I hope this doesn't get me blocked but I'm struggling to understand your logic. Marriage is a big commitment, yes. One should do the self-work to prepare themselves to be in a marriage, yes. And also...birthing and raising a human being is arguably a higher stakes commitment. You can't divorce your child. If you haven't done the self-work to be a good partner, you probably also haven't done the self-work required to be a good parent. I'm speaking generally, not specifically. Parenting is WAY harder than being married. Cautioning women before marriage but not acknowledging the even bigger commitment that is parenthood is odd to me. Anyway, you're beautiful and glowing and I wish you continued health and fulfilling love. 🤎

[@DakotaaCross]

@@budellababy it doesn’t have to be understood love ❤️ thank you so much for your kind words !🥰

[@kathrynpearl3326]

People need to respect boundaries. Relationship Dynamics are changing daily & I don’t think Marriage is as much as a Priority for Women as Before.

[@DakotaaCross]

Agreed !!! Like I definitely want it but I respect those who don’t

[@lydiabecker9842]

Finally someone who gets my mindset. I've been feeling so alone in this thinking im in my early to mid 20s and im happy im here now

[@dgp123dolly]

off topic but you are GLOWING in this video! you rádiate beauty! also this hair color looks amazing on you

[@Sherryxpiee]

I can’t wait to get married in September!! But I don’t think anyone should feel rushed or pressured to get married! When it’s ready for you, the opportunity will appear. Dakota glad to see you popping up more often on YT!❤ glow girl

[@amandawilson4716]

I'm a girl that never wanted to get married. My husband and I ended up getting married after being together only a year, and we decided on not having kids. We have been together for 11 years in July. Everyone has a different life and different direction, people need to respect that. I'm sorry you're getting these questions. Congrats girl. So happy for you!❤

[@user-tu8ii8km1y]

i can relate to so much of what you said. i have been with my partner for 5 years now, unmarried. my sister and her wife got married after 6 months of meeting and have talked so much crap about me not being married yet. there have been many things with the main thing being hints at me not being good enough. meanwhile, their relationship is falling apart and they cannot stand each other. money problems, cheating, arguing in front of family. my relationship is beyond peaceful. marriage will come when it’s the right time. i have so many things i need to handle first.

[@what.the.whatever]

I'm 32 and marriage and kids feels unlikely even though I would like to but the material of men out there is iffy

[@DakotaaCross]

You will absolutely find someone who’s worth your time and gives you everything you want ! Just don’t rush it 🥰

[@kori-jostump3677]

With getting married literally tomorrow, I needed this. You're the literal best. I wish I knew you in the real world! ❤️❤️❤️

[@brookedee3902]

I mean, this is what sharing your life on the internet breeds. People feeling comfortable sharing their unsolicited opinions. Coming from someone who has been happily married for 16 years I’m the first to say marriage is hard, but, worth it for us. That doesn’t mean I project that on someone else. Everyone’s experience is different. So weird. Congrats! Wish you the best ❤️

[@AnasiaGladney]

26:29 Genuine question: If you don’t feel like you know your partner enough to get married why do you feel comfortable bringing a human into the world with him?

[@funbusroxmysox]

I was listening to the "What's the Juice" podcast yesterday. An older episode called "THE CEREMONY BEFORE THE CEREMONY - Nick and Olivia share pre-wedding rituals, the good, bad, and ugly + how to make an unconventional wedding feel intentional". She and her now husband waited over 10 years before getting married and did counseling, etc. Before having a unique wedding celebration that they designed to be a true expression of their love. I don't think that everyone's journey is to wait 10 years. But the intentionality behind their marriage is inspiring (as someone married who's been married for 4 years, together for 9.)

[@masieldubois6882]

I know a guy who complained that women want to establish a career before having kids and “oh the biological clock!!!!!!!” But complains that he’s paying child support. He’s worried more about women’s choices than making sure his kids have what they need

[@Nurse_sunny]

I definitely think it’s ok to be married before having kids but I 1000% think it’s ok too to be pregnant without being married or engaged I feel like people who judge are the unhappiest people. A family member of mine asked why I was getting married at 21 and I did it because I was happy that’s it and she would complain for years saying she wants to leave her husband yet wanted to judge me. I think people should worry about their own life and not judge others. ❤️lol girl ur right tho! I focus my energy in my marriage not on other peoples life that’s why it’s hella strong and loving I think everyone should do what they want im nobody to judge at all 💕

[@Helena-ix8wx]

Love this softer hair colour on you❤❤

[@mariaritavolpicelli1608]

I am so happy for you Dakota! Do not listen to those comments, it is so weird of someone to even think of saying "when you file your taxes you write single, right".

[@CT97559]

Congratulations on the new baby!!

[@rachelreynolds0430]

i'm less than a minute in , but i'm in my 40's , and after my marriage in my 20's/30's , i'm NEVER getting married again. no judgment here regarding not getting married 💛 .. that taxes argument from that troll is ridiculous. your taxes have NOTHING to do with your relationship status.

[@DakotaaCross]

I deff want it one day but im in nooo rush until I feel ready!! I feel like people try to push it onto us before were ready or judge others for not being ready and its so annoying I appreciate the non judgment we need more people like you!!!

[@MARIO_Miiii]

I needed this video so fucking bad you don’t even know your channel has saved my life

[@DakotaaCross]

Thank you so much for this sweet comment 😢😢😢😢

[@victoriaxbeck]

ur glowing & happy and it SHOWS 😍

[@rachelreynolds0430]

i also relate so much to the stuff around the 23 minute mark. i've been in something for about a year where we are both really working on ourselves and that has made so much difference.

[@briannadelgado713]

Im glad you stopped listening to others and their opinions. God will tell you when the right time is and he will guide you. People try to help but sometimes they will project their own mistakes to you without knowing, like trying to live thru you. I got married at 23 and I got soooo many people giving me advice to not do it because I was too young. Also some said are you pregnant cause you dont need to marry (i was not preggo). I got married and have been married ever since. The devil tries to get in between your relationship especially if it is wholesome. I love my husband and he is someone God gave me cause I prayed for him. I didnt want to get married, but I accepted the path cause i knew he was the one.

[@frankiehancock2654]

Ive been in my relationship for 14 years and we have 2 kids, im not married, i just dont see the mad rush to. We happy still not been married. You do it when you feel ready.. Congratulations aswell lovely❤️

[@ginaaguilar6453]

Hey everyone has different views of relationships… who cares? People need to stop putting their two cents in when we don’t ask for it… much love and I’m SO HAPPY FOR YOU, I’m sure your daughter is SO EXCITED 💙

[@SarahTalksPod]

I file single and I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years in October. We have plans to get married eventually but not right now, we want to live together first.

[@DakotaaCross]

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all!!! I think that’s amazingggg!!!!❤❤

[@damishaspann5638]

Girl I love you your so damn wise it’s crazy! You just gave me a whole different prospective and it makes so much since just like the old saying say if you ain’t got nothing nice to say keep your mouth shut! Okay! And mind the business that pays you because mine ain’t paying 😅

[@Sarahxxxxxxx]

I’ve been with my partner for 10 years and we still aren’t married. We just felt recently like we are actually ready. It drives my family up the wall that they can’t control the situation and I just find it funny. I’ve seen couples get together, get married, and get divorced all in the span of my relationship. Marriage is not for everyone and it doesn’t validate a relationship the way people act like it does.

[@DakotaaCross]

I love this ! And I bet your marriage will be soooo successful because you waited until you felt ready !!

[@PappaBear_1234]

From your favorite male viewer I have to say I miss you soo soo soo much 🥺❤️❤️

[@Thatssorayvenw]

Girl speeeak. I’m 30, unmarried, and 5 months pregnant with my man’s baby lol People’s judgment is absolutely ridiculous. Congratulations mama, I wish you a healthy pregnancy and delivery ♥️

[@DakotaaCross]

For real! I don’t get why so many people project this stuff like I will do it when I feel ready and when the time is right but for now I’m happy && good !!! Thank you for sharing this definitely made me feel so seen and it will make other women feel seen too! ❤

[@somethinggood-sy1ed]

Will have a kid but not get married? Make it make sense. Poor child

[@DakotaaCross]

@@somethinggood-sy1edat the moment no in the future yes absolutely , please tell me you didn’t listen without telling me you didn’t listen lmaoooo poor YOU

[@diet_bleach_]

Currently locked in the bathroom hiding from my 3 children out of wedlock with my partner of 13yrs 💃🏾

[@DakotaaCross]

LMAOOOOO I LOVE THIS !!!❤

[@diet_bleach_]

I know exactly what pressure you're talking about. Don't let it disrupt your peace. My gma had a saying that fits well for here "what you eat don't make me shit" whatever they wanna do, do it over there. It's not going to disrupt what I got going on here. We are good💜

[@hope3894]

Do you plan on getting married to your boyfriend when the time is right?❤

[@DakotaaCross]

Yes ! I said that 😂

[@victoriaxbeck]

Can’t wait to watch and hear your thoughts! I love your mind. 🥰❤️

[@blessedlovedandprospered1181]

😮Oh my gosh I fell asleep listening to your old videos and twice I dreamt of these boy children while listening to your videos and I woke up wondering why am I dreaming of little boys and I was wondering if maybe your gonna have a boy and it's interesting that when I listen to your video today u confirmed u gonna have a boy congrats sis🎉🎉 God bless you and ure little one 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️

[@SarahTalksPod]

Yay to you having a boy!! Best wishes

[@Briklotz23]

So, quick question. When you are writing a letter to someone who's hurt you in the past, do you write their name down like dear blank? Or do you just write the letter and what all they did and wish them the best of luck?

[@DakotaaCross]

@@Briklotz23 Deff the name ! It makes things more personal for sure also it doesn’t have to be a kind letter it can be whatever you’re feeeling !:)

[@Briklotz23]

@DakotaaCross thank you! I honestly appreciate you. I started listening to your podcast last Wednesday, and I only have 1 episode left. You have made it easier for me to be able to start my journey to heal, and I thank you for that.

[@dreamwishergirl]

I want to get married, but my boyfriend has been married before. I think he’s the one for me and he wants to get married again but it bothers me that he was married before me. They got divorced because she was mentally insane, like threatened to kill him and herself and was cheating.

[@opulenttinglesasmr789]

Girl - I hate when people can't just say CONGRATS before asking for marital status updates. Can folks even ensure the dang pregnancy is going well first??? Never rush anything simply due to pregnancy. And you never ONCE said you don't want marriage. People need to mind their damn business. Say congratulations and MOVE on.

[@DakotaaCross]

Agreeeed!!! It’s so outdated to think that has to come first and I feel like it puts so much pressure on a woman !

[@opulenttinglesasmr789]

Seriously!! So much pressure. People are far too worried about how things "look". Due to early losses, and those nosy questions from "well-meaning" family members, I will certainly be keeping any future announcements to close loved ones and friends. And I am MARRIED now, girl. Half of them are probably miserable in their own marriages/lives but worried about you. Congratulations to you both!! Prayers for a healthy baby and a safe delivery.

[@victoriaxbeck]

Hi babes!!!

[@Joshdifferent]

I’m 28. Don’t want kids or to get married

[@yattaboolove011]

So true!

[@Robifitness__]

Heyyyy girl heyyy I’ve missed you

[@AventurasGlez]

So people not agreeing with you = shitty energy? Can't wait until you grow more in your faith and show the fruit of your walk. Whether you like it or not, you are single. You are repeating the same mistakes and on top of that, you are unrepentant. Having babies out of wedlock is an open door, go read your Bible or simply ask your pastor. There are blessings as well as curses to our actions.

[@DakotaaCross]

@@AventurasGlez I’m not reading this novel of a comment lol

[@hilda1499]

❤

[@Musihousehold1]

I feel like you’d love Hailey Gamba!!!

[@DakotaaCross]

I’m not a fan of hers !

[@hope3894]

@@DakotaaCrosswhy is that?

[@DakotaaCross]

Just not ! Doesn’t really have to be explained

[@toriraae]

the tea on your cousin is pipingggg cause baby why are you commenting on my situation when you cant even figure out your own?! 😂 crazy! ppl need to mind their business.

[@leilaraian4998]

Fiiirst