Why INFPs Disappear

[@jamespollard1842]

Not a proud INFP but certainly accepting of it. Took me an hr to right this . I deleted the other 10 ,000 words.

[@GeekPsychology]

^^ been there

[@zenlotus8696]

Why not proud? Be proud damn it.

[@ahmadsrizal2365]

Excuse me, could you help me with some question, Is ignoring someone you love after having a mild crash or other health issue natural characteristic of an infp? Or is it just an unhealthy infp.?

[@Anonymous_quirks]

Sometimes life also becomes overwhelming to me for some reason,solitude is at times essential for seeking peace,rest or setting boundaries👍

[@FoundSanctity]

For me personally it’s been months that I have disappeared I always used to confuse it with other conditions but I now understand the normalcy of it

[@GeekPsychology]

Those are my experiences with it anyway! Doesn’t make it a good habit, but awareness is helpful

[@eternalrhythmflow]

Thank you for this, Matt. I am presently enjoying another one of my personal disappearing acts - so great timing! I needed to look into this.

[@GeekPsychology]

Glad it was helpful! ^^

[@GRACIE342]

Love your vids! Thank you! Id add also another take... We love with all in us, but we are always collecting information and we will make excuses upon excuses, maybe for sometimes, years...looking for the best in another, and even looking deep within ourselves, making sure it is not us that is the problem first .....BUT when we finally get that final piece to the puzzle and we do not see anyway to fix the relationship we will retreat. They may think it was the last thing they said or did, but it was the over all truth we finally see without our rose colored glasses, and it's like dying to a INFP!! ....... I think of the Stevie Nicks song Bella Donna, where she says, … "And the woman may be awestruck And the woman may truly care But the woman is so tired So the woman disappears."

[@GeekPsychology]

My wife always tells me that I’m making excuses. I always say (translated) that I’m just explaining my intentions. ;)

[@BrianVanClough]

No one really can tell that I’ve disappeared because I’ve made it a way of life. In one way that can be seen as sad because other people in my life do cross my mind a lot

[@bakarka]

I was going to comment, but I think I'll slide down a "slippery waterslide of doom" instead! Thanks for that image! 😊

[@GeekPsychology]

Weeee 🌊🛝

[@Anonymous_quirks]

It's ok infp's,take your time🌸

[@Gdueiebbjdu]

I love being an INFP! I learned so much throughout the years and love the fact that I healed enough to help other.

[@cellothere5050]

Wow! Thank you so much for this video. For some time, I thought that my IXFP friends stopped talking to me because I hurt them accidentally. The silence made me nervous so I looked through my text messages and apologized for any harm I may have caused to them. Found out they were busy doing something else.

[@GeekPsychology]

Sorry to hear that :( There’s always the possibility that you bumped into a value that was important and they left, but usually it’s not that extreme of a situation. Thanks for putting in the time and effort to ask them!

[@cellothere5050]

@GeekPsychology That makes sense. I try my best to not cross people's boundaries. I apologize to make sure that I didn't cross "the line". After I apologized, my IXFP friends would mention that I said nothing wrong/harmful. When I experience silence from them or when they disappear" I tend to work on myself. I would read articles on how to become a better friend and read articles to better understand MBTI personality types. And then, I watch your videos! Thank you for creating great content!❤️

[@FelizandTheSea]

Thank you so much for your sharing Matt you content creation is so good❤

[@GeekPsychology]

I appreciate that! ^^

[@freyashipley6556]

What a beautiful video. I love the idea of us being comparable to cats.

[@Markbenwisch]

Good you made this video I just discoverd through algorithm! Cause this explains finally why two of my best friends just diappeared. I told one of them what I think of him and it was my honest wish to help him, cause I sensed a huge problem in caring for him self just of the look of his flat. I also told him that all his journies are somehow episodes of escaping him self. But with time he regressed and ghosted me. One day I tried to call him, as the sound of his mailbox accured and I heard a message of him. His voice sound was different and I knew, something was wrong. In a SMS he declared he has depression. Somehow I think, that it was me, pushing that first domino to fall and causing this. I believe ENTPs and INFJs can cause this pretty well in INFPs. I miss him. Both of them.

[@user-st5oh9yf8h]

Thank you very much, as if you explain what is going on deep inside us🌷

[@GeekPsychology]

You're welcome 😊

[@khadeejadja]

Thank you Matt, this is great !

[@GeekPsychology]

Glad you liked it!

[@khadeejadja]

@@GeekPsychology 😊😊😊

[@christinehallfeldt4280]

Lol I had paused snd commented before you said about spaces and then you said it. And also love cats. Helpful video in morning 😊

[@GeekPsychology]

^^ glad to hear it helped and that I read your mind

[@toothdecay2465]

When someone slights me, I ghost or door slam and don't look back. It sometimes creates awkward moments when these people have mutual acquaintances or I have to see them. Yet, I do not even want to acknowledge their existence. I struggle a bit with relationships that went wrong. I'm a male INFP if that lends any insight. What do some of you do?

[@Gjakdjruknownhpjs]

I have been currently struggling with the same thing. I think that happens due to burn out of internal conflicts. Also if I find someone ingenuine, I tend to distance them.

[@alanarguello3704]

Communication is so important to know what is going on or just to help or to be helped, and as an INTP, the lack of care that an INFP sometimes has for replying or telling crucial information or keeping in touch when a friend wants to tell them something or to know something, leads sometimes to much frustration with 2 of my INFP great friends because when I need at least some communication with them, they really seem like answering 10 days later is perfectly OK (phone calls are rarely successful) and I see their attitude not altruistic at all sometimes, like what they want and desire is what is correct for them and not usually siding for what is objectively correct or caring. I love you INFPs, but remember to treat others as you would like to be treated or at least recognize the needs of others, sometimes as simple as handing or taking some information before it's already too late. I respect your need for space and such, but the world is changing at a rapid pace and sadly I recon we're near the end of era and we don't have forever to enjoy ourselves, there is a need for change in the individual to change the ways of humanity and that goes for everybody.

[@Dani_2002]

I used to be like that. When I saw some messages, the most of the times thought "Nah, now it's not the time. Maybe later" and maybe I responded 3 days later. But now I'm trying to change it. I think that we INFPs believe that if you are going to do something that doesn't come from your heart, it is better don't do it, or do it when you really feel like it. We believe in be genuine, but sometimes we don't realize that we can be a bit selfish with the people we love. One day, one of my best friends talk me about how she felt, and "how I would feel about that if I were her", and I realized. Now I'm trying to reply her at most 1 day later, and she understands that I don't chat everyday and it's okey with that too. People can say that I'm forcing myself for a relation, or that I'm being fake. But the true it's that I do it because I started to apreciate more the relationships I have, and that the people that ask me about how I am doing or If we can meet someday is because they apreciate me, and they really enjoy my company. And that feel is so cool, so I want to demostrate them how grateful I am to be surrounded by so incredible people. I still love to have time for myself, but sometimes share my time with other people is great too.

[@alanarguello3704]

​@@Dani_2002 that's truly great! you INFPs can absolutely be one of those very important person in another person's life, either sought or unsought, but let0s just imagine how one feels when a dearly person gets to communicate 2-5 times a month or we feel disinterest/distancing from them while we may be of being confused about their feelings towards us. It can break our hearts even if just a misunderstanding, but of course there comes better moments and INFPs are usually very friendly towards us when we hang out in person. So yeah, basically a small act of communication can be so helpful and solve any issues that come from uncertainty and distance in time. I think you did a good choice to look at that other perspective :D

[@toothdecay2465]

As an INFP, I may occasionally take a personal day from work or other projects. But I can't relate to disappearing, though. I love my friends. I won't deliberately avoid messages. Actually, if I'm off and you message me, I might show up at your door and drink all of your coffee!

[@alanarguello3704]

that's nice! well, actually my 2 great friends who are INFP are one man and one woman , but both have in common that they don't care much about social media or, unfortunately, don't care that much to look up to what other people reaches out to them for. They see it as a frivolous way to use their time or don't want to be found comparing themselves with others haha, but I explained to them that real people talking to them via whatsapp for a reason is not the same as social media surfing, we real people count on them some of the time but they don't seem to agree.

[@toothdecay2465]

@@alanarguello3704 I can relate to them, to an extent. I'm not very active on sites like FB or IG, but I use messenger apps. I actually like receiving messages from friends and curiosity will get the best of me; I won't be able to resist opening and reading. Even in the midst of my full introvert shut down mode/INFP daydreaming session, I'll reply in a fairly timely manner.

[@christinehallfeldt4280]

It's hard to explain this to others as they say I'm hiding or I'm not dealing with the situation as it's like no I need time because I can't think and I'm overwhelmed. It's amazing how quickly I can get overwhelmed and that's just in my own house lol with two kids and a manchild to take care of lmao. No It's really about spaces and I am getting there but I still have to get so much done while looking after everyone and sometimes a neglect myself so that I have that refuge and try to explain it a bit better maybe that I am not hiding I'm regenerating 😊 can't wait for my own space.

[@GeekPsychology]

Kids are no joke. They take so much focus and resources.

[@bollista4577]

Fine! Fi Ne I love it

[@zenlotus8696]

Whoever infp ghosts has given a good reason. There is always a REASON. Also there is real need for us to disappear and one day I will too. Just like the guy in into the wild.

[@hilariousname6826]

Naaa. I've "ghosted" people because I just don't want to make the effort required to write back. No good reason. Eventually, I'll get to it - with apologies.

[@viktorija4485]

Exactly! 😊😮

[@GeekPsychology]

😊

[@Hamless_Kiwi]

Certified INFP Ghost 🫥

[@Trasea]

I'm an INFP but I never do this, honestly, if I need space,, I tell people. I think it's the INFJs who door slam, disappear and ghost without giving a reason. I just experienced this with an INFJ friend I've known for 4 years. Very frustrating and sad.

[@GeekPsychology]

That’s good that you don’t do it. It’s not a door slam. It’s a quiet leaving and then not knowing how to return after too much time has passed.

[@lykoe4045]

Both infps and infjs do this sadly. Although our cognitive functions are quite opposite, we can act so alike when we are at certain points in our life

[@Individually_Authentic111]

The infamous "poof". 😂

[@ahmadsrizal2365]

Is ignoring someone you love after having a mild crash or other health issue natural characteristic of an infp? Or is it just an unhealthy infp.?

[@hilariousname6826]

I don't think it's possible to make a general statement about that. Much more detail needed.

[@ahmadsrizal2365]

@@hilariousname6826 before i answer it, I also asked the same question about it on quora and youtube shorts, some people encountered the same thing. So, we've been on and off a couple times, every time we split and i already moved on, she posted some status in her social media showing her sadness and put a little detail that representing our relationship, and me as enfj, intuitively thought and felt that the status is a sign from her for we to get back together, and everytime I reached out again, I was right, and then we got back together, and about the thing tht i askedson this video was happened when everything is fine s, we communicate really well.

[@sammymac2546]

⁠@@ahmadsrizal2365I got the same intuition after I got ghosted for a couple weeks and started to move on…why don’t they just message us back instead of ghosting and posting subliminal messages or hints for you to message them again. I don’t get it 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@sammymac2546]

@@ahmadsrizal2365it’s been about a month and a half and I still haven’t reached out 😐

[@ahmadsrizal2365]

@@hilariousname6826 we've been on and off relationship, every time we get back together we dont feel like we have breakup, one day we meetup, all the chemistry is still there and even stronger . And then I told her that I had an accident while on the way to her place, she looks disgusted and didn't even bother how i feel or how the accident happened, of course that's not some reaction you wanna see when you have a bad day to your loved one. How and why she did that?

[@thescribe4742]

The only problem is that this "disappearing act" has consequences, especially when it's days at a time, or even weeks, in rare cases months. Sure, take 24 hours to recharge, but be responsible about it. Alp you gotta do is say something along the lines of "I need some me time". Perfectly understandable.

[@eternalrhythmflow]

I understand your point. I have been told the same thing, to just announce that I need some time. However, sometimes it’s days or weeks before I even know I’ve disappeared from the perspective of others. I’m always with myself so I’m not missing me. It’s others who notice but I’m not communicating so I have no knowledge of their experience. I never consciously know I’m about to disappear, I just do it without notice. More awareness and mindfulness necessary I suppose.

[@GeekPsychology]

I agree that communicating it is the best approach. Hopefully the other person can accept it as well. Or that there’s some win-win negotiating.

[@BirthingPower]

You need to define your acronyms and don’t assume everyone knows Just passing by but frustrating after the first 2 minutes- have no idea what yr talking about Had to go search it. Always assume new people are seeing your videos!!

[@GeekPsychology]

Which one? “INFP”? That’s a hard issue for me to navigate without making the video an extra 3-5 minutes every time. Still trying to figure that out.

[@kellikakes81]

Or, you could go watch his other videos and do your own research instead placing blame on him and not the right person, yourself. Hope you're just trolling because your comment doesn't make any sense at all. Have a great day tho

[@hilariousname6826]

I understand your frustration - but expecting that sort of explanation would be like expecting someone who makes a video about a recent baseball game to explain the rules of baseball first, or someone who makes a video about politics to begin by explaining how your political system works. Fortunately, you've got the easiest research tool ever created at your fingertips: if, for instance, you were to google "INFP", that would lead to "Meyers-Briggs", and then you would find out what this is all about.