why is creating so hard? a chat about art, creativity, motivation & dreams

[@tiramisunsun]

I have anxiety disorder and what my doctor calls "performance anxiety", meaning I get anxious when I have to perform a task especially in front of other people, even if it's something as simple as tying my shoelace or cutting a piece of cake. I think it comes from the fact that I am a late diagnosed autistic and was always scolded for doing things "the wrong way", which absolutely shattered my self confidence. I'm terrified of failure or doing things wrong, which stops me from creating art. I literally almost threw up after I tried to draw and wasn't satisfied with how it looked like lol I really need to work on myself and accept myself just the way I am if I ever want to make progress and live my passions... Very relatable video.

[@Anna-on3yt]

You spoke to my soul, I found myself in every word. Since I was a little girl my dream is to make art and become an illustrator, but somehow I am always too scared of failure and I continue to start and give up and so I don't improve and I keep feeling a sense of deep failure. Thank you so much for this video, I finally felt so understood ❤ I will draw something every week just for myself ❤

[@quirinebrouwer]

That makes me so happy! Please do 🤍 your passions are worth following

[@cindyr4918]

This is definitely relatable. A book that helped me a lot was Steven Pressfield's "The War of Art" - the whole book is about dealing with creative resistance; you know you want to create, but you are not creating because of resistance. It is something you have to push through virtually every time you sit down to work.

[@benjjjjjjjamin]

Thank you so much for this. You articulated perfectly how I have been feeling for a really long time, and everything you’ve said was spot on. It felt like validation of the things I already know deep within myself. Sometimes you need to hear it from the outside. Thank you!🌟

[@alcopelandbuenoify]

ughhh. and the shame that comes with telling people you are a writer and not having a sample to show for it...year after year. So you eventually you just revert to keeping your dream a secret in fear of letting others/yourself down. Just writing this comment hurts lol. Thanks for the video tho, needed thisss

[@quirinebrouwer]

Omg yes haha, people are always asking 'oh so what are you writing?' NOTHING OKAY I'm a writer at heart

[@megaBreezy]

Thank you so much for this - the year is closing out, and I find myself at a crossroads in a number of ways. All you’ve described about the calling and the paradox we creatives find ourselves in as we fight against our best interests matches exactly with my internal dialog. Hearing it all reflected back at me (as opposed to the incessant internal bullying) immediately brings the problems out of the ether and shapes them into a more actionable obstacle. 🙇

[@artofmelina]

Well well well, if that isn't every one of my journal entries ever, summarised in under 35 minutes. Thanks so much for sharing! Interesting, how so many of us are going through the same struggles. I recently read "Art & Fear" by David Bayles and Ted Orland and it offered some interesitng insights. This quote especially stuck with me and made me think: „‘Artist’ has gradually become a form of identity which (as every artist knows) often carries with it as many drawbacks as benefits. Consider that if artist equals self, then when (inevitably) you make flawed art, you are a flawed person, and when (worse yet) you make no art, you are no person at all!”

[@Elisa-nt8xf]

"There's a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don't, and the secret is this: It's not the writing part that's hard. What's hard is sitting down to write." Steven Pressfield ✨

[@Un-Cooked-fnm]

For what it is worth, I like the words from David Sedaris on writing and, I paraphrase. He says: your job is to write. Thinking about an agent, publication, and all the rest? That is not your job. I wrote for 15 years before anyone wanted my stuff. Now, Sedaris, a satirist, is writing for The New Yorker and has published many books. Keep going.

[@lila3618]

Im so glad my algorithm brought me here. Well done youtube

[@percy.4d]

Another Weird thing about being a creative is that you might be good at something you're kind of embarrassed by? Like you might WANT to be a fantasy Writer or thriller writer but can never write these genres with any confidence or fluidity and commitment needed to produce a solid product. but find Erotica flows through your fingers with insane ease. Even though you barely read that genre. It's as if the writing/art Gods are mocking you😩

[@lemurianwaters]

This is so relatable, thank you Quirine

[@cindyr4918]

Oh, and Lauren Sapala's "Writing on the Intuitive Side of the Brain"; this book highlights all of the ways that intuitive writers receive advice for plotters, and it is a major source of keeping you from moving forward in your writing. I am also an intuitive writer, and listening to her advice helped me so much.

[@lovelylindsey]

I’m also a freelance copywriter and I recently burnt out after trying to work full time for an agency. I’m a poet by heart and idk what I’m gonna do next but after scaling back my work I have more space to dream again and pursue my other creative goals of dancing. I really relate to your situation and I’ve been loving Anne Lamott’s book “Bird by Bird” to get me into writing for creativity’s sake. She touches on a lot of points you’ve made-and with such honesty and humor. 😊❤ Highly recommend!

[@aniconicbookclub]

I think KZbin algorithm knows me in and out. Kinda scary but I’m glad it brought me here

[@jasminelatka]

This is so relatable. Only a few mins into this video, but maybe you have already written the book - maybe the book is your journal of frustration to write? Maybe we're just overthinking what the end product should be, that we overlook what already exists right in front of us, the work we've already done. Thank you love for sharing and keep at your talents 🎁 Have a sparkly day ✨ Love, Jasmine

[@lovelynothingness9759]

All of this is why I created my website, Perpetual Girlhood, to be a home for all my little writings and musings that are part of the process of creating something bigger. ♡

[@tanyab244]

I found your channel when you moved to Italy and have been watching ever since. I am an avid reader but not a creative. I enjoy books that are engaging and have well developed characters. The authors I love have rarely been mentioned on social media and certainly haven’t gained a booker prize but yet are excellent writers. And that is to say, not all of us readers want to read a literary masterpiece but want to be transported into the story and identify or admire the characters. I admire you for being an intelligent person. I want to encourage you to write your story/book. Think of it as something you are writing for yourself and not for a larger audience. If you like the end result (and you will be your biggest critic) let your sister read it and then look for a publisher. You’ve recognized yourself as a perfectionist, and that is your biggest challenge. Overthinking and perfectionism are the roots of everything else ( I know since I have the same problem and I think is unique to women). The other thing you’ve mentioned is that you’re intuitive rather than a planner which also has its challenges. I would encourage you to write an outline of your story/plot in your journal, to minimize putting pressure on yourself, and then continue with the character development. I’m writing this as a non creative person so I don’t know if it makes any sense. I just want to say do it and don’t overthink it. I would buy your book and I don’t even like fantasy. Sorry for the long comment but you’ve packed a lot of information in this video. Can’t wait for your next one. Have a great week.

[@quirinebrouwer]

Thank you so much for this comment!! This is so kind and you’re right, I also think perfectionism is such a female trait because we have been taught to doubt our desires and instincts for centuries, and were only listened to if we are AMAZING at what we do. I could think and talk about for that for hours as well haha - anyway thank you for your kind words! ❤️

[@roulamamlouk3076]

I am only 5 minutes in, but I relate so much that it makes my heart hurt if it makes any sense (I dream of becoming a dancer). anyway, I will continue watching, but I can already tell this video will speak to my soul.

[@roulamamlouk3076]

okay this video is really everything I needed to hear to keep going, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I really wish you all the best and hope your dream will come true

[@quirinebrouwer]

I’m so glad the video inspired you & I wish you all the luck in your journey of becoming a dancer! ❤️

[@rory-le1ni]

this really came at the right time. thank you so much.

[@MartaSpendowska]

3:30 in and my gut tells me you are a perfectionist and that usually stems from the need to “perform the perfect.” So, the fear is the fear of judgement. I am a fine artist and an illustration (commercial); you can pursue both and bith brings their own rewards.

[@charmaineg.9527]

I needed to hear this! words of wisdom and very relatable! thank you

[@bonjourcupcake]

Thank you for sharing your frustrations. I really resonated with it. I’ve wanted to be an author since I was a child. I was able to write sometimes but nothing with the structure needed for a novel. I eventually finished a novel and self-published 10 years ago. I’ve managed to write a few first drafts since then but the resistance and fear is strong, and I get overwhelmed with the editing process. I’m currently editing my second novel but it is hard to show up and sit in the chair because I’m afraid that the story in my head will never translate well enough to the page. But at the same time, I regret not publishing more than one book in my adulthood (I’m 42). I suffer from procrastination and perfectionism. It’s hard. Wishing you the very best with your novel. 💕

[@3lla387]

Girl I love everything you post✨

[@quirinebrouwer]

🥹❤️

[@Joanemk]

Hi Quirine, thank you for sharing your personal creative journey and insight! I can relate a lot to what you’ve mentioned about the pressure you place on your work to be incredibly special and others praising what you do when in the end, it really is about building that confidence to show up and do the work that you always aspire to do without having to be perfect or be validated by others to start. This video literally showed up right at that moment when I really needed a lil’ reminder about this! Thank you! ❤❤❤

[@quirinebrouwer]

Ahh I’m so glad it resonated with you!! ❤️

[@annevblij]

I recognize this so much. I hadn't drawn for eight years because of this feeling. I believe it's fear of failure (like in an actual anxiety disorder kind of manner) and the myth of genius around arts like writing, painting and music. Crafts don't have this myth of genius. Of crafts - that are also super creative and labour intense - we believe that you train yourself in them. But art is a blessing by the gods given to very few chosen ones. And that's just not true. Nobody has a talent they don't have to work for to develop. But this combo made it so I didn't draw for years. 4 years ago I changed this, now I know that I will draw every week and finish projects. I'm still not where I want to be, but I see that I progressed immensely in my art. And I have the confidence that I will keep on developing it. Good luck with finishing the novel. And if you ever find yourself stuck, maybe turn to cognitive behaverioul therapy. If I feel this big build up of fear before starting a creative session, I use 4G-schema's (it's called this in Dutch) to analyze my thoughts and realise how stupid they are. And then I tell myself: If I don't do anything, I can't fail, but I also don't improve. If I do something, something will change. Maybe not this drawing, but four drawings later, I'll be slightly better. And that thought helps,.

[@quirinebrouwer]

The myth of genius is such an interesting concept and really puts into words some of my thoughts in this video! We put so much pressure on ‘the arts’ because we think it has to be genius and don’t allow ourselves the room to just try things out. I’m so impressed you managed to break out of the cycle and are creating every day!!

[@annevblij]

@ yes exactly! And the idea that you have that innate genius or you don’t. So if your first draft sucks, you are not a genius and so why even try? This is how I tended to think. Also a lot of people that society views as innately talented are (white) men, so that doesn’t help either.

[@staedel78]

I am an aspiring children’s book author/illustrator and you just verbalized everything that has been going on with me for the past few years ❤

[@quirinebrouwer]

Wishing you the best on your creative journey!!

[@louect6227]

Ohh I so recognize my patterns. What about your process ? I learned that (sometimes) I let my creativity turn into frustration because I really not enjoy a tiny, tiny step in my process that is not inspiring for me. My creative side make to compromise : 'I don't like that so I will NOT do that!' while the 'logical' side tries to negociate because that tiny step is important for her : 'card sorting works ! Try that !'. Nobody wins in that battle, we are both loosing time here ! So I am learning to never let the two 'sides' lead at the same time. You talked about the pain of not finishing something. I recognize that too. I learnt to let go of that expectation and guilt (yep, I said that : I am ashamed of my creative side. Crazy !) . She is not inspired to finish ? I trust her. This is about creativity, so I let her lead. That painting is not finished ? I really ask myself : who cares after all ? Really ? What is better : being stuck, in war with myself or accept myself fully, learn that exploration is a beautiful place to enjoy ? A place to reinvent myself. It is a 'logical'/thinking decision ? So I lead. The creative side is happy not being around. She will be bored anyway :). You made me realize that, this dialogue is the reality I need to consciously explore nowdays to make things work. Hope it make sense 😊. Sorry for my mistakes (english is not my mother tongue but love it !) Questions for you : as a writter, do you thing you are a poetess or a novelist ? (your videos are full of poetry 😍). What are the parts you enjoy the most in writing ? Wish you happy discoveries and writing, as a writer 🤩

[@kellynconradsieg7396]

I've been going through the same in the past few months, and I started questioning whether I should keep trying to write. thank you for this video, it came at the perfect timing

[@quirinebrouwer]

I'm so glad!

[@kikibergmans5248]

Jaaa dit is echt wat ik nodig had. Ik heb dit zooo erg met muziek maken, ik wil muzikant zijn en muziek schrijven. Ik kan mezelf er gwn niet toe zetten en heb een enorme blokkade. Ik wil hier super graag een podcast episode over maken en je lijkt me echt de perfecte gast.

[@quirinebrouwer]

Bizar he, dat je jezelf zo kan blokkeren daarin! Hoop dat je er voor jezelf ook stukje bij beetje doorheen kan breken

[@sandramiksawrites]

I swear, I've been going through this word for word in the last few years. I am so glad you posted this at this time. Thank you. We will work though this and follow our dreams as writers. ✍🏼

[@quirinebrouwer]

Yesss 👏🏻🤍

[@alicjag6317]

I could listen to you for hours ❤ struggling with similar problems rn so that was really helpfull

[@liza.hellakisa]

I follow you for a year I believe, and I adore you.

[@quirinebrouwer]

Thank you so much for your kind words! & yess you don't have to dance to become perfect at it, but because your soul yearns for it. That's the best reason to keep going 💞

[@Voltergeist]

I can really relate and find what you had to say very helpful. I would say the only thing you tend to do is say some of the things you try sound 'stupid', when nothing you're saying is stupid. Especially if it is working for you. That's the imposter syndrome talking. Give yourself more credit!! Thanks for this!!

[@alexiscreatingthings]

Awesome video!

[@PraktijkEmmagine]

Thank you for the inspiring video

[@dmjames1972]

First time seeing/ hearing you. I enjoyed your thoughts and authenticity here even as an illustrator and designer. In fact, I just forwarded this video to a friend of mine who is writing a book too. I really appreciated thst you made the point how you must do social media in this day and age to promote your creative work and self- that’s just the way it is now. Just signed up for skillshare, using your link! 🎉

[@quirinebrouwer]

Thank you so much!!

[@angelinagabriel8362]

Love you so much quirine ♥️♥️♥️🦋🦋

[@quirinebrouwer]

❤️❤️

[@mypersonalpainpoint]

I actually don’t want to be a writer, a novelist, but I want to write more and as a graphic designer I HAVE to be creative..but many times I just can’t. My theory for why is twofold. firstly the lack of confidence. secondly is that feeling, that if I let the emotions surface that I need for writing, I won’t be adjustable to everyday life. this might sound crazy, but inorder to write I need to be honest, but inorder to be honest I have to face “stuff” that is hard to face. it is difficult, but the transformation is happening. slowly but still ;)

[@aniuska__pm2746]

You said at the beginning that you are not sharing any tips because you are lost, but this is exactly what I needed to hear. I have been trying to write my own stories for years, but after a few days of motivation and work, I just "give up" and think it's not worth it because it's not perfect, I'm not going to achieve my biggest dream. It's so frustrating. You explain all this and the rational part of it, that they are just insecurities, and it's so important not to believe them. Just to try and give yourself a chance. (English it's not my first language and coming with all this thoughts in other language may result in a chaotic comment, sorry :P)

[@quirinebrouwer]

Sometimes we don’t need advice but we just need to hear we’re not the only one struggling! I really believe that when the time is right we’ll be able to break through this blockage - I hope that for you too ❤️

[@flamencalis]

I 100% recommend "The Right to Write" by Julia Cameron, the author of the Artist's Way (another great book to unblock creativity!). The book itself is so well written and the exercises are great, her famous morning pages (3 pages of longhand automatic writing in the morning everyday) are life changing - for anyone not just writers! Also, for some great writing exercises, I love Natalie Goldberg's books like "Writing Down the Bones". She has a way of blending her personal Zen philosophy with creative writing exercises that is really fun and inspiring. All the best with your writing!

[@quirinebrouwer]

I really love her advice! My problem just was that I started reading books on creativity as a way to procrastinate even more, while it has turned out that just picking up the pen (or really - opening my laptop) and write has worked way better for me

[@alexiscreatingthings]

This reminds me of the Casey Neistat video “always be closing”, which the “everything is a remix” guy also mentions in his course - if you finish every project you start, even if you’re not happy with the end result, you get to learn way more, feel proud of yourself, and keep your momentum going, vs being weighed down by loads of dead projects. I’m currently like 80% of the way through a video that now feels super dead to me but I know that if I don’t publish it, I’ll forget about it and won’t learn anything, plus won’t get any feedback etc. just gonna finish it and then I’ll get to move to the next thing without the dead thing weighing me down 😅🙏

[@quirinebrouwer]

This is such good advice! Really am going to try this from now on

[@Horrorbabe4]

Its a confidence thing

[@_surreal99]

Writing is a very weirdly tricky art form. Especially the allure of big Projects.

[@Noquierousuario]

This has nothing to do with the video but it keeps happening to me on all my favourite creators' content so I'm just going to ask. I live in a spanish speaking country and enjoy watching videos in different languages. But now KZbin has decided to use AI to dub/voice over all the english speaking videos into spanish (supposedly so they can reach a more wide audience). However, only creators have the option to deactivate it so... Could you please deactivate it? I don't want yt to impose the languages I'm allowed to listen to in all my content. Thank you, Quirine, if you read this. Love all your channel wholeheartedly,❤️💖

[@Courtney6]

Hi, you can go into the video settings on her video and click “audio track” and choose the original audio for the video. It happened to me too on a French language video and I was able to change it. The dubbed English was scary. Lol

[@elizabethquirk9109]

[@jomen112]

You wanna write? Why not write the story about this character that wants to write but never comes around to do it, and the pain and frustration she feels about not being able to achieve her childhood dream....

[@quirinebrouwer]

I've considered writing a short story about this frustration haha (but then... it didn't happen, surprise surprise)

[@jhonviel7381]

u fail a lot on youtube, bc there is no winning this platform...