Why Is My Wife Never Happy - Constantly Angry Wife | Paul Friedman

Anger in marriage is a very popular topic because it is so common. What should you do when your wife is constantly angry and never happy? Paul Friedman focuses on anger because it covers many areas of marriage.
This is obviously for guys and you may not appreciate this but it's very important for you to know so you can do something about it.
It does happen from time to time that women who are subject, just like men, are to various mental issues. She might be a victim of depression, she might be uncontrolled in her anger,
she may have a real problem.
A lot of people have anger problems and I have to ask you right off the bat.
Are you angry?
Do you react to her anger?
Because if you do that's the first thing you need to stop reacting to her anger and see what happens -- that's the very first thing and if you're not in charge of your mind to that degree where you can control your anger, and you're being triggered and then your anger comes up, you have nothing to complain about but you have work to do on yourself.
What do you do in the meantime?
I have techniques because usually the good thing about anger, it's not self-sustaining. Anger is an instinctive reaction. It's part of the drive to survive and it's a very intense instinctive reaction that if it were maintained it would burn you up and you wouldn't last.
What happens is the anger turns into lower-level anger and emotional anger which is something you can work on. There are two different degrees of anger. One is that bursts of instinctive reactive anger which just is like a wall and there's nothing you can do. All you can do is duck and you could practice some techniques that you could learn in communication where you don't take it on. You let it move past you. You duck.
There's that other level of anger that's emotional where it's not reactive anymore but it's carried and you got asked why because even in those cases, it's a defense mechanism because we're controlled to a huge degree until we take charge of our mind. We're controlled by a huge degree by our instincts and habits and emotions so that emotion of anger is something that we can work with.
One of the problems that men have is that they don't really care why their wife is angry and I don't mean because you left the dishes out. I don't mean that kind of thing but what is her problem and the reason we don't ask that question, or men don't ask that question, "What is the problem?" I don't mean, what is your problem? I mean what is the problem? Does she need your help?
You see most men aren't sympathetic in that way. They go, "What's your problem?" When you should be going, "Honey, let's sit down and talk. Let's try to understand why you're feeling this way. Let me get your glass of water," because that helps dissipate the anger, "Let's go for a walk," because breathing helps dissipate that anger and let's see if we can talk it out.
One of the things the way women are designed, psychophysiologically speaking, talking about it is very helpful for them so you might want to try that. You may be triggering her all the time. Technically, that's not really your fault but because you're married to her it is your concern. Not everyone is like you, she's not like you. She's going to be triggered by certain things and out of love, out of the respect of love. It is your duty to not punch those nerves, to not hit those triggers when you know they're there.
If you know saying something about her sister being fat is going to trigger her, don't do it and avoid those topics. There's a lot of topics you can choose from that are going to make her happy and those are the topics you should choose. Everyone thinks, "Hey, I want to be honest with her. I want to be open," and they don't realize that that doesn't include being a jerk just because you want to be opened, just because you want to be honest doesn't mean you get to be crude and rude and mean.
You really ought to read one of my books. It gives really good guidelines about what to say, what not to say and why, and you need to get a handle on your marriage and get to the sort of the core dynamics of your marriage. You should understand your wife better. You should understand her well enough so you're not stepping on our toes and this shouldn't be because you're going to get something back.
You should be doing it for the right reason which is because you love her. I mean that's what you promised when you got married, "I will love you", "I will treasure you", "You're my goddess," blah blah blah. You're not acting that way and so maybe if you started acting that way it would help her calm down.
Watch the video for more.
#marriagecompatibility #marriageproblems #marriageexpectation #frustratedwoman #unhappywife #anger

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by: 1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing. 2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways 3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions. Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.

[@MrWilgates9]

Ok you ask her to talk it out, let’s talk, let me get you a glass of water, let’s go for a walk and she doesn’t want to do any of the above then what do you do????????? Please be very honest this is a very serious question for me I would like to get other points of view. Thank you 🙏🏼 in advance I appreciate it. 🙏🏼

[@frankovera7553]

She always angry, she's very stubborn and always finds something wrong with me. She's very dominant and wants to be the boss but I don't allow that so we become compatitors. She don't Know rang order. If I displeased her she can be angry for weeks, she never hugs or kiss. She allows me but I don't think she likes it. I'm frustrated and want to leave. I won't live like this.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Running aways always an option, of course. But why not make common-sense improvements and see what happens first. You can start with one of my books, or you can jump right into the course for men. It is worth the effort before you go through the trauma of divorce.

[@parrotshootist3004]

That's a personality issue. Unless she changes to fix her communication and need to control (cluster B sign there) there isn't a point and things will get worse. Unless you submit. Who is she being touchy feely with if not you? Women 'need' touch and hugs and compliments and such, apparently, so where is she getting that, and to whom is she being warm with? *shrugs* questions I'd wonder on.

[@jbarr409]

Leave her. IT WILL NEVER CHANGE. I PROMISE. You will walk on eggshells the rest of your married life. Been single for 15 years now after a 15 year marriage and would under no circumstance ever get married again. To meet a LADY in today's culture is an almost impossibility. If you are a man today and believe that you should lovingly lead your family and be the husband God intends you to be you can forget it. I have a great life. My two kids love me and I don't have to bow to some women just to get through the day without a hour long debate on whether or not to do something. If things are the way you describe walk away and let a lawyer do your arguing. Life is 👍.

[@louiemontana8458]

My gf alway get mad at me also she dont work just stay home n worry about her beauty. Yes she cook. I do everything else. I am the oldest kid so i i have to worry about mom n family n her. She get mad for the dumbest thing. I get so tire of it. She alway the person run away want to break up. I alway argue back

[@BryceDAnderson1952]

tell her to go fuck herself.......

[@lucasthesatilliteguy]

Why is it ALWAYS on me to make all of the changes and sacrifices. Is there not any point that maybe she needs to stop getting pissed off about every single moment that I breathe?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

You do not make "sacrifices" when you are in love. You merely see their needs and weaknesses as something to silently help her rise above by being a great lover.

[@dwwolf4636]

Ridiculous.

[@lucasthesatilliteguy]

@@TheMarriageFoundation I am continually asked to change myself to fit into her list of check boxes of what she wants in a man and she demands that until I make these changes she isn't going to try in any sense that I desire.

[@johncoleman5388]

Dude, my wife does the same thing to me. She wants me to be responsible for every decision in our life! I have gotten to the point that I am unopinionated about ANYTHING! I just say, whatever you want to do, otherwise it is war. She wanted me to attend marriage counseling with her but I told her I was afraid she'll storm out and refuse to go back because there is no on in their right mind that would say she has every right to call me names, yell, and slam things around. She tells me "You make me do those things." Its nonsensical.

[@amberenergyhealertarot6617]

@@johncoleman5388 sounds to me like you should have simply taken her up on the marriage counseling since then you AND her would be getting counseling... you may want to consider whether you are shifting the blame due to holding a grudge or not? Or maybe avoiding the chance of being told u and her are needing work?

[@proREFbrder]

I'm literally the most caring considerate guy I know, but it doesn't matter, when she's mad I'm shunned for days over something I would never get upset about if she did it. Why is that? I would never shun her for anything, and if she came to the door saying I'm sorry I love you, that's the end of it (not that she's ever been in that situation) done, over, let's talk about it and move on. I've never seen anyone hold a grudge like that, it's exhausting. Going to work, having to put on a smile everyday knowing she's brewding at home. I can't be that bad, can I?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

The element that is missing is the heart. You say ""I would never..." which is indicative of your reliance on your mind. Minds can only compute material things and loses all hope when it comes to understanding. For that you need to dive deep into your love for her. One thing you can try is to pretend she is suffering from something that will soon end her life and show her the compassion you would in that circumstance. Then, you are moving in the right direction.

[@lnt1984]

I hear you brother 💯

[@AlanStrong-oz3ub]

Wow, are we the same person?

[@amadough7590]

My problem is that I don’t react and it makes her more upset...

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Every response should be positive, loving, and supportive...from the heart. Then you cannot go wrong.

[@ashleynunes9662]

Hey Paul some mornings I wake up grumpy and other times I just let her sleep

[@infinity.1111]

LOL

[@Oomdaan11]

Ashley, I just plagiarized your saying. A few friends had a good laugh.

[@aerobertson]

My wife is Never Satisfied whatever I do it's really sad

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Do good for good's sake, not for recognition.

[@aerobertson]

@@TheMarriageFoundation that was good thank you.❤

[@stevencox1240]

Thank you. Your words won't be soon forgot.💕

[@natedog2I0]

My wife is always angry, and always talks with attitude and anger. It’s now starting to make me talk with anger and attitude, how can I stop that?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

That is your challenge, to be yourself and be a better person today than you were yesterday rather than a reactive person.

[@munterboy9298]

My wife is the same. Always angry and in a bad mood, constantly giving me the silent treatment, always criticizes everything I do, calls me pathetic and a loser yet I pay all the bills, cook, clean and paid for the house she wanted and work full time. She makes me physically and mentally ill. We have a 3 year old son who she won't let my family see yet her family are allowed to have as much contact with him as they want. She has to be in control of everything. As soon as my son gets old enough to understand I will leave.

[@munterboy9298]

@@johnjcb4690 no way man. In gonna buy a house by the beach and travel around see all the places I wanted to see. The places I wasn't allowed to go because my wife didn't want to go and because I had no money. I was single for a long time before my wife and I was much happier then. I will miss my son but I hope he understands and I hope he leaves home and explores the world too.

[@jessievasquez3560]

I'm not disagreeing with this advice but it seems that you haven't been married or if you have you are bais towards women only. Women need to take responsibility for their own actions too. Men do above and beyond for women in most cases so it's not that men don't care or are not sensitive enough. It's that women are too spoiled.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I am not hard on either men or women but they sometimes think I favor men. Its about self-evolution regardless of your gender

[@ashleyscout4848]

Have you watched any of his other videos? He often touches on his marriage and has plenty advice for women as well

[@richrdroma]

Even though I doubt this will work on my wife I like this calm friendly advice. I will try to redirect her anger towards her telling me more about her underlying problems. I have tried a lot already but I can still improve.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Yours isn't a good idea, Nobody improves by discussing their problems. Your role as her soulmate is to bring her love without inhibition and support to her as your lover, not be a doormat. Open your heart more and less analyzing. Be your higher self by cultivating yor love and devotion. That is the most useful for you both.

[@speakrighttogod]

The most admirable words: "I will try..." and "I can still improve." It takes HUMILITY to have that disposition. Wish you well!

[@thanhphamthitan5342]

Its one of the best advice to save a marriage on the edge when u believe your wife or girlfriend is a good person but unhappy and angry all the time

[@euphoricrain775]

Guys: search borderline personality disorder. Your welcome.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Sure, if you do not want to look at your own behaviors because you know you are perfect, which you are not.

[@TheConqueror009]

@@TheMarriageFoundation Projection and Gaslighting. Keep going.

[@Christian_counsel]

My wife will get pissed. I won’t react. But she never calms down and says sorry for how she acted. She will say she can’t believe I did this and that. When I don’t do anything. And when I say. What is I did wrong. She will say. It’s just how you speak to me. The problem is I make a point all the time to be very calm when I speak to her. I think she gets pissed that I’m not reacting

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

In your own way you are arguing with her and that will not help her. Be there for her, comfort her, don't try to fix anything.

[@MakeMySanctuary]

Xmas? With my health issues I've become too much of a burden on my wife. I love her so much, but I'm starting to feel she'd be happier without me. I can't even imaging life without her, but seeing her so down more often than not is nearly unbearable. I cooked her breakfast day after surgery. I want to be better for her, and more of what she deserves and I try daily.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

The burden you place on her is your moodiness. Learn to be in joy regardless of your struggles.

[@TheConqueror009]

@@TheMarriageFoundation Please quit giving bad advice. Understand why rats leave a sinking ship. You're the rat who would convince other rats that their perception of the reality around them is an illusion.

[@doinurmomLOL]

good content.

[@crayon5475]

Thanks for the video. What to do if she gets physical when she's angry? How should I deal with it?

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

If necessary because you cannot move out of range it is acceptable to lovingly restrain her, that is how you would do with a child. NO anger!

[@crayon5475]

@@TheMarriageFoundation understood. Thanks

[@enriquehernandez2248]

Record her. Learn from Johnny Depp.

[@andrewjackson9948]

You dump her immediately. You dont hit your partner. Wtf kind of shit is that

[@franktickle9404]

My biggest problem is when my wife gets angry I can't stop laughing at her because it's usually out of something so stupid

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Do you want to treat your soulmate in that way??

[@thelostpawn]

I’ve been following these guide lines for years now, but my wife is constantly threatening me when angry/triggered. I’ve strived for that happiness, but her trauma and increasingly toxic coping mechanisms are driving me away. I broke off long better relationship over smaller abuse, but I really wanted to make this one work. Idk if I still have it in me to forgive her and make things work

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Our program is more that just following guidelines because you need to be in your heart, which you are trying but not there (or you would not care about how she behaves, only yourself) Try the course for men. The course for men we offer is the best way to change yourself. themarriagefoundation.org/

[@richrdroma]

I can so relate to this. If the other person actually wants the fight there is no possibility of dodging. I've tried everything. She will always escalate if challenged and always challenge if ignored. The only thing that works is being a doormat for a long enough time to calm her down. I don't want to be that person when my children gets older.

[@richrdroma]

@V^IVIike^V Sad to hear what you're going through. Try to be calm no matter what happens. We can't change the other person only how we let it affect us.

[@munterboy9298]

Same here. My wife calls me all sorts of bad names and puts me down all the time, it's hard to still live someone who treats you like that

[@johncoleman5388]

@@richrdroma I hear ya. My wife threatened to divorce me when I backed off. We've been together since 2015 and married since 2017. She gets mad anytime I don't do exactly what she says. She compulsively calls me from work if I miss a phone call. Last time I ignored her antics she threatened to divorce me. We have kids, so like you, I take the abuse. She doesn't even allow me to go to another room.

[@nickmitchell7772]

All we can do is keep trying. I've been using this approach for a while.

[@MrsBee-uo2lc]

Finally a real man giving good advice!!! Rare these days. 👍

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I appreciate that! Thank you for spending time with us. 🙏

[@timwynn6079]

we've been married for 2 year ,1 year as LDR which was the most difficult year for both of us. She was a dependent early on in our marriage as she lost her job. I've been the main supporter for her even tho we're still in a LDR due to covid , but now she is got a job, she's reluctant to even talk over the phone, she seems always busy and even at night she would refuse to chat for a brief moment over WhatsApp. I told her I cannot do it if we our relationship is continuing on like this. We've agreed to file a divorce in July.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I'm sorry to hear.

[@optiKalismo]

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! THIS IS SO HELPFUL!!!! sincerely a concerned loving husband

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

You're so welcome! 🙏

[@Aventuras377]

Thanks

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Welcome

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Welcome

[@kennedyotieno1171]

Thank you but no thanks. Let people be. Angry person will always be angry. It is hard labour to be always be the one trying to cool overheated engines all the time.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

tolerence is a form of love

[@aklol7384]

What abut you sir how is your marriage life can u make an video of it 😊

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

hmmmm... it is amazing as it should be because I practice what I have learned and share. But let me ask my wife how she feels about this.

[@speakrighttogod]

Lol! 😂 What did the wife say? Please do let us know. 😊

[@sylvesterhandy5454]

I like what u are saying but I make it sound that easy I’ve done everything you have said and she is getting worse I’m close to the door

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Everything I say in a video just touches the surface. Dig deeper.

[@ajila592]

it sometimes work

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

What always "works" is revamping yourself so the marriage is lived in happiness and love. Try the course for men.

[@amirshrestha1476]

So helpful❤️🙏 from nepal🇳🇵

[@youtubediscriber6438]

I‘m married ,here where Live in a safe and beautiful Country i live because of Her, we wanted to broke up every year for 7 years, we dont have kids,the problem is im in the best time of my life,and i live a terrible Life,everyday bla bla bla problems, Every day she tells me she is the reason i have a bette life in Economic Way,everyday tells me from which dirt i came here,im very tired,i thought havin kids might change something,but at the same time im Afraid that our kids can be the Victim of our everyday arguing and will live in hell. I dont know what to do. I dont know even if I Love her anymore, 😥

[@dilgeshabraham5002]

I have the same problem so we had a 5 years daughter and now we are separated and she is The victim. I can’t even see my daughter anymore because of her. Good luck bro do not Bring kids before the problem solved.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

It would be a bad idea to have kids until you learn how to be married the right way. I suggest you get one of our books or even take the courses.

[@endibobey]

Man with 2 kids here. Run away.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

start with one of my books themarriagefoundation.org/

[@endibobey]

Don't make kids. Just run away from her. Kids can never heal your problems. Raising kids is NOT easy and would be an additional stress factor for your marriage. Walk away from her. If she does not accept/realize that she has issues, you can never help her. Help yourself first. Choose peace and freedom over turbulent relationship. Seriously. We men are deep inside afraid of loneliness. We think our current women is so good and we cannot find a better one. But the reality is you can find a much better one.

[@el-hocinekerroum1004]

Maa man♥

[@glennpe4125]

Why am i always wrong in her eyes?? What do i need to do to make her happy??

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

That sounds like a rhetorical question. If so, it means that it is a complaint.

[@glennpe4125]

@@TheMarriageFoundation Im trying my best but she always gets mad over little things when other couple should be talking about it calmly

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

maybe, but it is up to you to learn more... get one of my books so you can see what you are missing. themarriagefoundation.org/

[@JamesJohnson-cp2zg]

The real question is what is she doing to make you happy

[@TheConqueror009]

@@glennpe4125 Listen don't take advice from this guy. He literally just tried to sell you his book. Profit off of your pain and tell you, that you're the problem. Drop her like a hot potato.

[@stevejameson9324]

Paul! I don’t doubt you are a decent bloke, I am respectfully responding to your video, not seen anything else you’ve produced. Quiet frankly it is not as clear cut as you say. The fundamental issues is , if your wife is not secure in herself and have a healthy sense of self, her feminine characteristics will not emerge , loving , gentle, soft , tender hearted, fun, playful. She will regularly present with toxic behaviour of emasculating withholding affection, love and sex and stonewalling. It is important for men to understand female nature and maintain a healthy masculine structured, if a woman perceives a man to be too needy or clingy either wants her attention or sex , the woman becomes repulsed when a man becomes weak and needy, that is just female nature unfortunately, I wish it wasn’t that way. I have seen this time and time again in my practice

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

I discovered an approach to marriage help that does not label or put down either women or men either collectively or individually. The goal of marriage is happiness, love, and harmony, period. I get you there with positive progressive steps that gives you control over your mind and opens your heart. My psychologist friends who start by incorporating my teachings eventually come all the way around and live themselves on a higher plane as they teach true marriage saving ways. Many get their toes wet with a book or course themarriagefoundation.org/ and as they get the promised results become "converts" :)

[@ken9221]

Read the bible better. You can be soooo happy in all circumstances.

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

If only that would work!!!

[@lelamaciolek1166]

That's not an excuse to cheat on your wife and demand she be happy.