Why It Sucked to Be a Pirate

Yar Har fiddle dee dee, bein a pirate just blows dick to me
Intro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...

[@redrix1787]

It cracks me up how Sam's sense of humor hasn't changed in years.

[@beulahjohnson2757]

Same 🤣

[@bloodakoos]

it was humor?

[@bentennyson2615]

Alguien De Internet no it was drama-._-.

[@VCRK888]

Alguien De Internet yes

[@mud2479]

Who is sam?

[@brieblevins66]

sir that's my emotional support weevil

[@ttracs]

ultrabrie ma’am that is my guide flee

[@johnmemes6447]

Weevil

[@unlawfulspinach5435]

Sir that's my emotional support diseased rat

[@amiehalfacre1691]

do not eat mr weevil or kill mr rat

[@tf2oshaaa]

Blevins

[@PolythenePam0451]

"I might be disturbed, but that's one sickness I could definitely get down with" Nice

[@SealiioNahka]

I mean... sake and vodka are ok.

[@VCRK888]

The Film Freaks Holy shit i just got it

[@aji_jacobson]

@@SealiioNahka Disturbed is a band and they have a (great) sing titled: Down With the Sickness

[@abdallanassar9124]

Ahahahahah omg i just got it

[@shanag.2852]

Omg yes

[@MMA-Pon]

fun fact: pirates didnt just drink budweiser by the gallon because they loved getting drunk but because the way beer was fermented at the time the consistency was closer to a very watery bread dough that had some alcohol in it so it was actually very filling as well as stimulating which is why depictions of beer at the time was very foamy. they really drank it cus it was just sterile and almost food, getting drunk was just a plus

[@NigerianCrusader]

WHATS BUDWEISER MATEY

[@njinlover]

I read they also drank beer because they didn't have enough clean water, which makes sense

[@ignatz2]

@@njinlover I imagine it probably went something like this: "Water is cheap, but beer is also cheap, filling (the beer of those times was very thick), and gets us drunk, so lets just get the beer."

[@anthonygerace8926]

@@njinlover Most people on land drank alcohol for the same reason.

[@ferretqueen2908]

At the time beer generally tended to be cleaner than the water

[@masonlunde3054]

Can't spell disease without sea

[@bobsempletank1222]

Diseese

[@avashark6843]

The seas=disease

[@ant51006]

Dioceanse

[@lampshade2536]

Can’t spell illiteracy without sea

[@ホフマン日向]

Di-zee-z

[@Lymbo88]

Not to mention (something you don't see in most pirate movies) splinters. In those sea battles, the ships are made out of mostly wood. In the movies, you see cannons blowing up parts of a ship while the crew run around panicked. You don't see people getting their faces shredded to paste when a cannon hits too close and sends thousands of pieces of sharp wood flying at them. Also drowning. People drowning all the time. Being stuck inside a capsizing ship, or being nowhere near land when the ship goes down... Lots of bodies down there. Hard to swim 100's of miles when your leg just got blown off. Infections, too. Barely any medical supplies. If you're lucky, there MIGHT be a doctor on board, but he's not gonna be able to do much besides bandage you. Yo ho yo ho

[@RougeDragon-sp2pd]

You will never kill my dreams I will be a pirate if its the last thing I do

[@RobiticDuck]

Well....at least their flags were cool

[@darkhero4504]

May i See your pantsu Yo ho Ho Ho

[@DictatorAtWill]

There's a scene in Master and Commander where one of the younger officers gets hit by a rather large splinter. It gets infected, and the doctor needs to amputate the kid's arm. No painkillers, no precise medical equipment, just some restraints to keep him from flailing around and a strap of leather to keep him from biting his own tongue off.

[@JacViramuerte]

@@DictatorAtWill was about to comment about this scene too haha, love that film!

[@spyjonsachurin2101]

I love the description of below deck.

[@HoneydewBeach]

they should remake it to be historically accurate

[@HoneydewBeach]

wait are you talking about the show or actually below the deck

[@akosacs01]

@@HoneydewBeach That took you 1 week to figure out?

[@HoneydewBeach]

​@@akosacs01 I need clarification. You were referring to the show, right?

[@gdolphinz7486]

“You feel something furry brush against you and it’s either the body of a diseased rat or the beard of your diseased crewmate, either way, it’s probably where the piss came from”

[@CazCraven]

In pirate combat the cannon balls would hit the ship mostly and create a huge wave of splinters. Being hit by the splinters would cause many of the pirates to lose body parts or they would even die. This is what formed the stereotypical image of eyepatches, hooks and peg legs for pirates.

[@BlockImmigrants]

And the battles are probably quick as hell with many deaths within the first few minutes of fighting.

[@wujek7616]

@@BlockImmigrants these battles could take hours or even days. Even though splinters were indeed very dangerous for the crew, the ship took barely any damage at all. "like throwing a biscuit" -Francois Massertie 1689

[@tristo4197]

@@wujek7616who is francois massertie

[@MugiwaraShay]

so what you’re telling me is there are no rubber people talking skeletons and raccoon dogs? yeah no thanks

[@nightlymoss1361]

No hot navigators either😔

[@codycody6634]

No swordsman who have no sense of direction?

[@nightlymoss1361]

@@codycody6634 no more taekwondo chefs

[@lucascerri3847]

No liars? Oh wait.....

[@chrise76776]

If there’s no perverted cyborgs who constantly break into a dance routine, I don’t want to be a pirate

[@pranav5273]

2100 kids making videos on "Why it sucked to be a Software Developer"

[@Siegward37]

It really sucks actually...

[@arcle3853]

Anyone care to elaborate?

[@user-sp2yl8gw5c]

@@arcle3853 in short, they didn't have many choices

[@kevinlewis8420]

If you like coding and work for a decent company, it's a lot of fun.

[@legendarytat8278]

@@kevinlewis8420 Which is not easy.

[@perfi4333]

I am an “I’m not paying for Adobe softwares” pirate.

[@zhanucong4614]

Actually adobe dosent want you to pay,you learning adobe and maybe start working in industry gives them more profit,that tactic is so effective that in anime industry they are called industry standart

[@gavinwilson5324]

@@zhanucong4614 Then why is it so damn expensive?

[@zhanucong4614]

@@gavinwilson5324 so that company has to pay big sums while newcomer's gett attached trough piracy

[@liliththefirehawk796]

@@zhanucong4614 “adobe doesnt want you to pay” **adobe creative cloud costs $600**

[@wilh3lmmusic]

BASED

[@jacobgonzalez1386]

Being fair to old Jack Sparrow, all his flips and rope swings are exclusively to run away from the pirates who are hacking the side characters to bits and pieces.

[@walrusArmageddon]

The crew at the beginning of a Pirates movie is always larger than the crew at the end. I think like, what, 6 or 7 people are left at the end of the second one?

[@bigben9492]

To be fair, jack knew how to fight with a sword, and so did most of his crew. To be extra fair, pirates irl weren't just dumbasses with sharp objects, they knew how to use said objects to a good degree. Now as for the shot being wasted on a deck hand if it was even able to shoot at the time, not sure.

[@NigerianCrusader]

@@walrusArmageddonINCLUDING TODD HOWARD

[@NigerianCrusader]

@@bigben9492STOP IGNORING ME

[@Lrizu]

​@@NigerianCrusaderuh nuh uhhhhh

[@almightylordpitlepen8608]

That won’t stop me from being king of the pirates

[@gildeddrake1479]

the salesman saying he'll run the prison

[@deanrobson6904]

Not if I get the one piece first

[@almightylordpitlepen8608]

@@deanrobson6904 in your dreams

[@t6hp]

EHM, it's the pirate king. Not King of, more like a king upon. In other words, become the baddest ass there is that everyone would simply shit themselves just thinking about dueling you, including the government. Kind of like Kim Jong-un.

[@mukelu]

I am the pirate king, i've pirated many movies and games

[@varietywiarrior]

The food mentioned was just the travel rations. If they were at sea toolong, yeah, the for sure ate like shit. But you've gotta remember that they usually ended up looting spices and stuff. It's been documented that pirates often ate better than navy sailors.

[@youtubeenjoyer-pf3tu]

@N5ZZ0 I...I...okay

[@youtubeenjoyer-pf3tu]

@N5ZZ0 here 🥫

[@hellatze]

Not every pirate are that lucky.

[@Noah_Levy]

Not to mention that scurvy wasn't that big a deal in the Caribbean, since the distance between islands isn't that big, and fruit is plentiful.

[@monalisadabbing7491]

Sauce pls

[@CommanderCrocky]

You forgot the part where you get killed by a kraken after raiding a skeleton fort

[@synphilia4776]

Sea of thieves reference

[@urbs7466]

Best comment

[@fumothfan9]

TF2 reference?

[@ethanhockley3136]

@@fumothfan9 it's sea of theives

[@whyme3917]

I read this as: you got killed by a "Karen" which was wired cus I thought Karen's just complained and not killed anyone.

[@jasonhansen8035]

Bros just lying so he can become king of the pirates

[@ConnorLover9817]

next thing ya know he's got the one piece

[@The_anime_and_manga_nerd]

LMAO I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT

[@seabe2345]

How tf are you not more popular?

[@SecureLemons]

fairly new channel

[@wergersnee]

1st time i've seen it but i subbed, thanks for your inquiry

[@miaowmiaowchowface]

dis channel gon be big

[@tickedsanchez629]

I know right

[@corrosive_st]

seabe2345 because people have opinions

[@knko7158]

I was not convinced until I saw “Dick Rot” disease. Ok I don’t want to be a pirate anymore..

[@KinglyOle]

One Piece is proof that being a pirate is fun

[@FlexBeanbag]

@@KinglyOle kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJ7GaoF8m82rbZY

[@FlexBeanbag]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJ7GaoF8m82rbZY

[@Sentient_Blob]

There’s an actual disease called crotch rot, which is just athletes foot but on your balls and dick. I’m pretty sure the pirates actually had to deal with it

[@lobeliaowl2482]

@@Sentient_Blob So, mother nature is into cbt?

[@parkouremaster]

Being a pirate, is basically being a homeless but in the sea

[@studentNEET319]

@@Chichichihuahua wrong time

[@ハルオクムラ]

Aye, the ship is ‘yer home once ‘ye learn the ways of the pirate

[@DrsJacksonn]

+ all the disadvantages of being a slave + all the disadvantages of being in prison, but each of those x10.

[@piretiris8223]

Sea robbers

[@DarethLover67]

oh dang

[@cifer8070]

If I can sing "leave her johnny" with my boys on a ship I see that as an absolute win

[@snowpawwolf1123]

Bro I legit want to start a sea shanty club or something like where we rent a little boat every month or two and go out on the lake to sing sea shanties, but nobody wants to do it with me 🙃

[@Qwerty-jc3so]

"A fish in the sea" is my favorite shanty

[@bigcb6148]

@@Qwerty-jc3so come all you young sailor man listen to me , I will sing you the song of the fish in the sea

[@mohamedfodhil9908]

@@bigcb6148 windy weather boys sotrmy weather boys when the wind blows we're all together boys

[@bigcb6148]

@@mohamedfodhil9908 blew ye winds westerly blew ye winds blow. Jolly sowester by steady she goes Up jumps the eel with its slippery tail Climbs up aloft and reachs the topsail

[@madsharkz8640]

3:04 medicine ads in a nutshell “ _you won’t have headaches anymore but the following will occur when this medicine is taken_ “

[@niksin9941]

grandmas: where are my glasses, honey??

[@bokbok5737]

You forgot about: DEATH

[@presidentofallfoodnice8113]

Dick tot

[@mememan2404]

Rotten dick jungles

[@cruztube3355]

You can’t have headaches if you don’t have a head

[@Salad-in]

> Dick Rot > Jungle Dick Rot A fan of the choices, Pirates are.

[@jenneacubero1036]

LazyTown: *"You Are A Pirate" plays* Sam O'Nella: I'm gonna have to stop you right there...

[@callmefox630]

Unstops in Torrent

[@sirwrench6972]

Time to get my twitching body overboard

[@Lrdnqustr]

also, being a pirate means being an enemy of many empires

[@Burn_Angel]

Unless they paid you to assault spanish ships.

[@ConstantChaos1]

And?

[@noahalban6384]

Many pirates were privateers (state-sponsored pirates) so they were essentially payed to take gold from ships of enemy kingdoms. Became a huge problem when the New World was discovered because so many ships returned to Europe from the Americas and had a fuck ton of silver. England decided to hire privateers to loot these Spanish ships. A big reason why the armada attacked england

[@whiterosecicero4802]

Noah Alban Privateering had more regulation then just being pirates. You needed a mark of a privateer (document of sort) to be legal and could only operate against the enemies of the nation you got the mark from. Luckily England was at war with Spain a lot. During peace time if these privateers continued then they were pirates and could be executed. Many pirates were privateers first then pirates as they wanted to continue making mad cash and not share it with their employers.

[@kckdude913]

@@noahalban6384 Yeah I feel like that's mainly the reason why they're romanticized a lot, despite being basically thieves and murderers. Had most pirates been Spanish ones attacking the English, I think the way they'd be viewed today would be very different.

[@youtxbe_r8191]

that's not gonna stop me from becoming thE KING OF THE PIRATES

[@darkstardragon608]

Yeah good luck -_-

[@hardxzun]

beer was actually healthier than water because water conditions that time sucked and you need to heat the water for beer

[@bobmcbob49]

which is why militaries regularly marched with beer or wine

[@saltysoysauce954]

I don't think the heat killed bacteria, I think it was the alcohol

[@hardxzun]

@@saltysoysauce954 Both, boiling water at 65°C or 149°F kill bacteria.

[@saltysoysauce954]

@@hardxzun That aint boiling but I get what you mean

[@haydeen6535]

This is actually not true. DRINKING water conditions at this time were absolutely fine. It’s just all the other water that was all fucked up, but they didn’t drink that water

[@timothytosser288]

0:27 histrorically pirates did that 💀

[@Lumppii.]

How do you know?

[@Cheeser_]

Personal experience

[@rE8Al]

@@Cheeser_🤨

[@tangytango2749]

No actually. Homosexuality in piracy was no more frequent in piracy than it was throughout any point in history. Most pirates were religious, and as such, beat on anyone who participated in such acts.

[@edude9]

​@@tangytango2749lets go!

[@TheRealW.S.Foster]

He forgot to add that there's a 50/50 chance you'll eat a questionable piece of fruit, gain a power from it that varies from godly to stupid and not be able to swim anymore after eating it.

[@spindash64]

Most pirates can’t swim anyway, so whatever

[@funkytime69]

So, drugs

[@Zinfiny]

@@funkytime69 no fruit

[@user-sx8lj9xe1y]

It be great if reality was like that but then deal with pirates that are probably assholes

[@CeshBundicoot]

chefs kiss reference

[@hfhxgdytfyguyghfyfhrbt6gxc749]

1:32 "Oh, you're gluten-free? Sorry, all we have is gluten!" -B. Dylan Hollis

[@marcelj6979]

"Pirates never take other people's property" Isn't that the freaking point

[@scumbagbenis8762]

What

[@astronautindisguise]

slit fidget spinner dab bod mod an old Disney show had some kid pirates who made a “code of pirates” and one of the rules was “A pirate never takes other people’s property”

[@scumbagbenis8762]

@@astronautindisguise okay well that was a retarded and out of nowhere comment to make as if i would know what it would mean

[@cristhianramirez6939]

@@scumbagbenis8762 The comment wasn't directed at you specifically. Get out off here

[@okokisafuckingloser6298]

God that show was horrible

[@JustinY.]

Thanks for debunking one piece

[@Marixchatt]

Yeah I saw you actully comment on a comment :(

[@boimann7583]

Justin Y. Burn in hell

[@jemswhy7382]

Rip justin

[@raviloli6811]

HOW HOW HOW HOW YOU FCKING DEMON. GODDAMN EVERYWHERE.

[@lutemis3119]

Maybe its a bot?

[@AudieHolland]

I wonder, weren't there ever any Beach Pirates? Not robbing and stealing on beaches, but camping out on a nice sunny beach, near strategic sailing route. No long voyages being virtually imprisoned on a tiny rotten vessel, just relaxing, singing songs and drinking rum. Untill a merchant ship appeared on the horizon and you would quickly set to sea in your pinnace or other small pirate ship. Capture the merchant ship, return to your beach and divide the plunder.

[@AidanDaGreat]

Perhaps. But strategic sailing routes were of the utmost security, so there would likely be pre-established forts manned by hundreds of soldiers on land. So I think it would be unlikely.

[@AudieHolland]

@@AidanDaGreat Well, Nassau fits the job description well. Right in the middle of Spanish galleon routes, shielded from enemy raids by the many shoals and sandbanks. And if there really was a serious invasion coming, at least you'd have enough time to evacuate.

[@AidanDaGreat]

@@AudieHolland huh. neat.

[@AudieHolland]

@@AidanDaGreat Yeah, I just remembered. There were one or two similar places, like Old Providence or just Providencia.

[@thatc00lk1dd]

This is real life not one peace

[@cowcat8124]

Sam O'Nella should do a video on salmonella

[@princeparsival2038]

@Cir0c 0boma Thats actually really sweet and clever

[@didnotwork5027]

yes he should

[@janellem.6744]

Why does this sound like Sam has experience with being an 18th century pirate

[@darcy_glitter]

He was a pirate in one of his past lives 😂

[@cosmobane6995]

@@darcy_glitter Nella D. Sam

[@sweetchilli1261]

Just do it like in One Piece

[@gingermcgingin1733]

That would require eating magical fruit to gain superpowers. And because of JoJo's I know that there's even odds of said fruit petrifing me.

[@MochaPhilanthropist]

I wish I can get petrified by that magical fruit holder

[@strangetomato3021]

YA YO YA YO

[@TheDxDKID]

Agree

[@inspiringer6418]

Just eat two devil fruits

[@ibuzz2544]

Are we gonna pretend we didn’t see the last four types of diseases....

[@alamo0243]

D I C K R O T

[@charliegarrison9688]

Rotting dick jungles sounds bad 👎

[@youngveggies6558]

The pirates would get down and dirty a *lot* and they weren't close-minded if you catch my drift.

[@scl1332]

J U N G L E D I C K R O T

[@DarethLover67]

I was waiting for this comment

[@alang.bandala8863]

Fun fact: The character of Jack Sparrow was conceived with at least three different illnesses on him, ranging from heat stroke to a curious little red spot that grows on the side of his lip with each movie. So yes, he is a lucky guy, but he already spent it on something else.

[@MidwestManMountain]

I binge-watched your entire channel. Bravo sir.

[@Squid_Lid]

MidwestManMountain Home & Garden DIY ii

[@Blanketcrab-dm5bp]

Ditto

[@jessemarsden8260]

Same

[@not_a_planet4086]

MidwestManMountain Home & Garden DIY I

[@Nightmare-fe9hr]

lol same

[@ホフマン日向]

I'm the kind of pirate that wouldn't pay 10 bucks to go see a movie

[@mattok101digitaltamer9]

FBI OPEN UP

[@mattok101digitaltamer9]

@WaluigiShrek WAIT, THATS LEGAL.

[@nathanschmitz2302]

I know a site, still hasn't been raided yet surprisingly.

[@JianCB2]

@@nathanschmitz2302 Tell me

[@nathanschmitz2302]

@@JianCB2 Who are you?

[@MontageLegacy]

Meanwhile CGP is like BRANDING

[@macaroon_nuggets8008]

and CONTRACTS!

[@autumnmccomb6647]

and SPREADSHEETS

[@whenwhen2284]

and BOOTY

[@marissafalch9555]

I pretty much only watched this video to compare it with Greys it was still an entertaining video tho

[@grangermontag1824]

Pffft more like CPG Ghey, _amirite?_

[@Lux_1138]

Hear no weevil, see no weevil, taste no weevil.

[@JoeBro915]

I’ll never think about the “scurvy” song from Spongebob Truth or Square the same ever again

[@thegerberbabyslesbianmom]

JoeBro915 FUCK P!NK SLAPPED IN THAT SONG UGH...WHAT A QUEEN

[@101Volts]

Scurvy is part of why British Sailors got the slang term "Limey" attached to them from Americans as a derogatory word. British Sailors got Lime Juice in their rations which ultimately didn't prevent scurvy (they were getting lemon juice previously, which I read worked.)

[@Lichen8404]

P!nk really did that tho. For a spongebob movie.

[@benn454]

@@101Volts Limes don't work as well. They have less vitamin C than lemons, which are the most effective fruit.

[@givemeyoureggs456]

benn454 But they still work

[@nightmare_creature3757]

If you're like me and you wanted to be a pirate because you wanna get wasted on a boat and sing sea shanties with the lads just know that you don't have to be a pirate to do that. And yes, this is an invitation

[@lordmazdamundi2847]

I would gladly join We just need an old boat

[@DragonCat-zt5ex]

Details are required

[@lordmazdamundi2847]

@@DragonCat-zt5ex What details.

[@screamindog8772]

@@lordmazdamundi2847 when, where, and how many tangerines do you think we need

[@lordmazdamundi2847]

@@screamindog8772 Soon, in the sea A fucking boatload my lad

[@AnthonyCram]

Glad to see he’s back

[@darkstardragon608]

This was 6 years ago

[@mandos-studio]

@@darkstardragon608 Lol

[@mohamedelmsllati4021]

People: Pirates suffer from Scurvy, Me an Intellectual: Teethus deletus

[@LarsTonguesInAspix]

Odontus Deletus

[@fightmefatima992]

Abortion = Fetus Deletus

[@zozzy4630]

@@fightmefatima992 Me, also an intellectual: Fetus Quietus

[@MasonStevens9863]

Z Ozzy what about shut the fuck up

[@zozzy4630]

@@MasonStevens9863 Oh that's one's easy, muzzle your muzzle

[@loduk102]

"Call me Disturbed but that's one sickness I can get down with." Clever. I see what you did there.

[@soldadoryanbr7776]

I had to rewind the video when he changed his face for "the guy" for a moment

[@s1nnocense]

Damn, that one really went over my head. Nice one!

[@orcmama8]

Ik, that was smooth 🤘

[@houselightkell]

I only manage to Get the reference 5 years later

[@Jimijmay]

I still don’t get :(

[@ecola3010]

Let’s rephrase our fantasies we wanted to be the captain

[@whafflete6721]

“I want to talk with the captain over there”

[@abrahamlincoln9758]

"Uh-oh folks. We're entering some choppy tar. I think this is the worst I've ever seen..."

[@LordMondegrene]

"Most Horrible Diseases" is a rich subject, with entire books devoted to some of the more horrifying, like "RABID" about the many manifestations of rabies, which may be the source for the Native American "Windigo" shape-shifting super strong cannibal legends. Porphyria's another one, may be why we have vampire myths in Transylvania, where the genetic disease presents in varying levels, from crooked teeth and a tendency to sunburn, all the way up to snaggle toothed hideously burned and rotting cannibals hiding from the sun in crypts, wating for nightfall to replace body fluids lost from all those horrible burns with good old people juice. Or how about the 1784 eruption of Eyafjallajokull, which caused global cooling, mass starvation, the French Revolution, AND the most horrific volcano zombieism, due to fluoride nuking your brains, so that even HORSES were eating each other. WHILE THEY WERE STILL ALIVE. WITH FLESH ROTTING OFF THEM IN STRIPS. ZOMBIE HORSES, MAN. Along with 17 months of nonstop eruption, rivers and lakes of lava, and a heroic priest who documented the gruesome, "End of Days" spectacle in harrowing detail. Fucking epic, real-life horror.

[@plant7371]

I didn't realize that was what inspired those myths! That's sick in more ways than one.

[@notmyrealname7634]

You're like an actually good gradeAunderA

[@Sammedine]

Roit?

[@crono3015]

+Babybird Oligodendrocyte I'm guessing you're a Markiplier fan.

[@joelmay5980]

He even has an inconsistent upload schedule

[@GrimYaeger]

Notmy Realname I swear he really is

[@AmariFukui]

I used to like him, then he only ever talked about youtube Drama. Which i have a profound disinterest in.

[@vergil8257]

“Why it sucks to be a pirate” Some random pirate: “YO HO YO HO The pirate life for me”

[@vergil8257]

@Docks Docks sorry nerd

[@acorn426]

@Docks Docks 😂😂😂Bruh it’s “yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me” not whatever tf u just wrote correcting the other guy

[@acorn426]

@Docks Docks “edited” 😂

[@SS-gt8sy]

Yohohoho yohohoho Yohohoho yohohoho

[@godelemender8009]

Witnessing a crew come together is the best thing ever Although I have no eyes YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO ....this is a terrible skull joke

[@silentspring222]

This is just “why being anyone in naval careers until the 1900s sucked”

[@jackbalter4288]

The reason pirates were pirates is because they were paid more

[@christopherjones8448]

@@jackbalter4288 sure for the ones who weren't just unlucky slaves who got bashed over the head at a bar and kidnapped

[@davidhong1934]

@@christopherjones8448 That's literally how the British Navy acquires menial labor. Since nobody actually wants to work menial labor on a navy ship, the officers would send press gangs to kidnap drunken idiots on the streets.

[@lankinator.]

@@davidhong1934 that's false. They would press merchant sailors, but not just any random person. What use would someone who has no knowledge of sailing be on a naval vessel in a battle situation?

[@nemrody7828]

@@lankinator. he said "menial labor", not sailors. he's reffering to deck sweepers and other low rank occupations that don't require skill

[@DennisGr]

being on youtube since 2006 i'm always happy to discover a gem like this channel. still way undersubbed, if you keep up this will get pretty huge.

[@dropdead_]

Yeah of course because imitating Grade A Under A is so "gem" .

[@louden-8428]

Hirttäjän Muistolle grade a under a is dead fam

[@VraccasVII]

Grade was just one guy using the same style as many many others did before. It is charming because it is low budget, but it's definitely not his unique trademark. The only really remarkable thing about that guy was how many subs he got in a short amount of time, but the style has been around longer than youtube. I remember watching a lot of that in the early days, and you'll probably remember some memes from that time like NO ITEMS, FOX ONLY, FINAL DESTINATION.

[@TheUrulWaffles]

is this a new word to you?

[@ClearReception]

Hirttäjän Muistolle well if he ever gets around to imitate "being_annoying" then he'll be there 👍

[@ashtoncharles7035]

One peice makes it seem so cool

[@Trigrwrnng]

GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

[@felixo5574]

Tri9g3r w4rn1ng finnaly found someone else who noticed it

[@owenb7911]

Tri9g3r w4rn1ng ooh ooh wa-aaaah

[@kerberossi]

u aa aa

[@erickr199]

OH WAH AH AH AHHHH!!!!

[@Coprionix]

2:45 me as a student, not getting enough sleep, not brushing my teeth and having acne all over my face: "guess i'll die"

[@akumarolls8532]

Good luck with life

[@Coprionix]

@@akumarolls8532 thx but i have probably died when the time comes to enjoy life

[@akumarolls8532]

How old are u tho?

[@Coprionix]

@@akumarolls8532 idk man, kind of a "nonce-y" question of you

[@anjaneyar.u.7434]

I’m *6

[@moracomole8090]

Yes it was funner than being a slave/indebted servant which many pirates have been at one time Also many pirates had better lives than regular sailors

[@kissme1518]

Only the pirates that were more psychopathic than others. You can compare it to actual outlaws that live out in the deserts. They kill and steal from one another.

[@helwrecht1637]

Nah, that’s actual pirate propaganda.

[@sanityslayer5291]

Hence Vinland Saga

[@tide5106]

*more fun

[@sanityslayer5291]

@@tide5106 funner

[@michaelmehserdjian9644]

Easy solution: use your eternal log pose to travel to the closest island to find a dinosaur to eat. Duh

[@cheezkid2689]

“Hey little Jimmy!” “ *yeah what’s up* ” My sides are kill

[@Anthonyist]

i think the person who wrote this comment died midway through writing the last sentence.

[@PrashantAnnamalai]

but what if your side are not kill 🤔🤔🤔

[@koji2107]

Title: “why it sucked to be a pirate” One piece fans: *”haha pirate king go brrr”*

[@TypeKK]

Kids:Pirate is fun.They have cannon and the eye patches Me: * IMAGINE MYSELF AS A WAR COMMANDER * oh you dare challenging me Edit:This is my childhood

[@TypeKK]

Pirate sucks Those Internet Pirate:HAHAHAHAHAHAH

[@mustang8206]

Reddit Moment 🤢

[@txkyo4823]

@@mustang8206 car pfp moment 🤢

[@5uperM]

It sucked to be Ace.

[@phantomsoul65]

Luffy said that wasn't true

[@Coggie99]

0:20 was laughing for 2 minutes straight

[@MUSHIN_888]

Bro me too 😂😂

[@porcelainkity]

When the screen darkened i thought my battery was at 15 %

[@uf3732]

thanks for reminding me that my battery is at 7%

[@chemicalfuzzy]

it’s funny because mine _is_ at 15% right now

[@scbd-king8461]

Angry OP sounds

[@Petrolosis]

Far more depressing than CGP Grey's take on pirates.

[@JetMC254]

Not if you watch the Quartermaster edition

[@slappmunkey]

The reasons humans drank alcohol "back in the days" , was strictly because it was the only sterile thing to drink. They couldn't clean or keep clean mass amounts of water, so alcohol was the go too

[@plm-fp6nu]

that may hold true in certain situations. But considering the lack of internet, ac or other modern luxeries we take for granted, I reckon they drank alchohol so much just to avoid the pains of a sober life back then.

[@aetherresonant9079]

@@plm-fp6nu multipurpose!

[@schattepoezel8541]

You do have to take into account that ale was less than 2% alcohol. Way less than it is now.

[@johannes4123]

Except for the fact that alcohol dehydrates you so using it to replace water is only gonna kill you, that makes perfect sense

[@slappmunkey]

@@johannes4123 "mass amounts of water"

[@GuyInHisOwnWorld]

So your telling me that One Piece lied to me?

[@hypekingsupreme968]

one piece lied a lot, the straw hats are everything but actual pirates

[@urmomisnotfunnyxd9761]

Ikenna Okonkwo well when you believe some fictional animated series thats not based on telling you true things about pirates you kinda relize

[@ninototo1]

Hype King Supreme yeah it always bothered me how they call themselves pirates but don't do any pirate things. Of course they still hoist the skull flag so that the marine chases them.. Even 6 year old me found that idiotic

[@scaarefps]

I love how nobody understands this is a joke

[@cutedogvideos3723]

yall don't seem to understand that the guy is joking u don't need to correct him

[@DZC-bc2ol]

We ain't finding one piece with this one 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@ovidiudante]

Weird enough this was one childhood dream I never had. The only time I thought it would be fun would have been like in One Piece so I actually wanted to be a guy who hangs out with his friends as he gets stronger which is far from a pirate

[@crowbirdryuell]

Same with me, naver dreaming to become a pirates

[@soulsnatcher1786]

Dont listen to him he just doesn’t want other people to find the ONE PIECE

[@dorkmax7073]

"Disturbed" "Sickness I can get down with" Bruh

[@djivrannl]

But but but one piece

[@magicalmelancholy970]

;-; I wish One Piece were real (meanwhile any character with a tragic backstory, so basically all of them, are telling me that no, I don't wish that world were real, but in reality both worlds are just as bad).

[@iambatman8803]

Sticker Witch calm down satan

[@stewartsaurus5796]

One piece is not very many pieces. If I had ANY pieces of gold I would want at least 5000.

[@tygonmaster]

Surprise! Luffy is REALLY stretchy because all his tendons are rotting and he has worms from Sanji's cooking.

[@jamweeb6168]

i don’t want SCURVY i want a LOGIA DEVIL FRUIT

[@fxmorin439]

Sucked so much that their was plenty of pirates and thete's still pirates today.

[@Jacksparrow-sh8te]

I for one have survived many altercations with pirates.

[@VLAD-yu6ul]

Jack sparrow ^ Real Pirate

[@Jacksparrow-sh8te]

The Amazing Tatsuo of course.

[@sallyfarmer1318]

I like your profile picture

[@mkultrasoldier]

Jack sparrow including the cock suckling part?

[@Raptor_Ren]

Yeah, because you’re a getaway master. I think Sam was implying you’d die if you fought head-on.

[@maltvinegar436]

I made hardtack for thanksgiving

[@battyboio]

Lol x3

[@twcseanhswk3918]

Yum

[@SirNippletonMcSugarteets]

Dylan Anderson it sounds like “heart attack” kinda lol

[@jorgemora9538]

Why would you punish your family?

[@masonburton7676]

Jorge mora lol

[@bubbadub7708]

So to answer the blonde girl's question, no, ITS INTESTINES

[@Animalboy-nk8xc]

I've actually eaten hard tack. In elementary school one of my teachers had us eat it to show us how bad people had it back then. It wasn't a pirate history lesson. Probably a civil war lesson. I honestly can't remember.

[@mooshroom9578]

also the fact that most pirates had a set bed time. like dead ass

[@crimson7151]

Everybody gansta until a pirate shouts “gumo gumo no”

[@madelinegolding4969]

Why is Little Jimmy drinking gasoline? 0:11

[@nykecon7528]

Got to agree with scooty, are you not drinking it because what’s wrong with you p

[@kottykotty7640]

It's Gasoline? Huh, so that's why my apple juice tasted and looked weird.

[@Catnippy]

nah its 120 proof whiskey he's made of stone

[@fransiscoandrade1000]

Eat a match and you have Fireball whiskey

[@lqu]

Probably a juice box.

[@zomb_rei]

being a pirate is so fun now, i can play any 3ds game i want free of charge

[@firstnamelastname8534]

"sucked" it's past tense being a pirate today is cheap free

[@imperialguardsman5726]

I mean yeah all you need is a speedboat and an AK-47

[@jamessuselessfacts5736]

Asshole

[@Likeusb1]

@@imperialguardsman5726 Well I tried once with a small wooden boat with paddles and some rocks, they laughed at my sheer incompetence and my boat was so small that it got sucked into the propellor, 1/5 stars, wouldn't recomment.

[@normal1044]

That disturbed refrence was amazing.

[@765respect]

What was it? I missed it. Love disturbed.

[@smiley-skeleton4598]

@@765respect "I might just be disturbed, but that's one sickness I can definitely get down with." It's at 3:10, I think.

[@765respect]

Metamorfoza Enigmatica Brilliant! TY for finding it and sharing:)

[@yaboyblacklist2431]

All I can say is... OOH-WAH-AH-AH-AH!!!!!!!

[@lepremierdub]

Was looking for a comment mentioning this..

[@happymeme1329]

“Dick rot”

[@EvilGremlin100]

Rotten dick jungle

[@cottoneyejoe8285]

Dick sniffles

[@candywilliams3137]

Jungle dick sniffles

[@thew4369]

Jungle dick rot

[@L0RDK3Y]

ew

[@Wiriestmender]

Someone didn't get any treasure

[@soupy4099]

1:50 Pirate crews were actually considerably better for everyone on board than regular sailing vessels. There was less work for everyone on board. 2:08 The smell wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary, normal ships were plenty smelly. In fact, there are tons of records of the Spanish Conquistadors being followed around by natives carrying incense because of how bad they smelled. 2:38 Scury wasn't just a pirate problem either. Normal ships would regularly carry 1.5x as many sailors as they needed because they fully expected like half of their overworked under-payed indentured servants that we now call "sailors" to die on the trip. Normal sailing vessels were regularly kept with the minimum amount of deck hands to maximize profit, they were not all well off or well groomed merchants. There is a reason that plantation owners talked about how they had problems with slaves running away whenever a pirate ship docked. Pirate ships were incredibly egalitarian. 3:07 Everyone drank alcoholic beverages all the time everywhere. There was never any safe water and milk was often not safe and fruit was not as plentiful. Plantations were mainly for cash crops not for fruit juicing. If anyone wants to read more about pirates or check my saucey sauces, _The Republic of Pirates_ - Woodard, Colin is a good read. Also yes i know he was over exaggerating for comedy, and I know that the average life expectancy of a pirate was 2 years. Being a pirate sucked, but just as much as being anything else. _"The authorities made the pirates out to be cruel and dangerous monsters, rapists and murderers who killed men on a whim and tortured children for pleasure, and indeed some were. Many of these tales were intentionally exaggerated, however, to sway a skeptical public."_ Don't fall for 300 year old propaganda.

[@SamONellaAcademy]

Yeah, most of the stuff here applied to just about every sailor of the day, not just pirates. I was just showing what the experience would be like relative to the average person of today.

[@soupy4099]

Sam O'Nella Academy Yeah i know, It was a hilarious video! Keep em up! :D

[@Luxegr]

Isn't the salted pork meant to be soaked for several hours before consumption? Would make it more edible. They could soak it in alcohol, rum/beer etc. You probably don't even waste that much drink/water because the salt would fuck you more up regardless.

[@Pedrosa2541]

Another interesting fact is that pirate ships would ellect their leader among themselfs, giving a chance to anyone be the leader. Unfortunely the democratic behaviour would end there, because the losing side would be invited to get out of the ship.

[@Dover939]

>defending boat based terrorists

[@TheGr8SageSama]

“Teach. . . The Man Roger is waiting for is not you” “The Oneeeeeeee Pieceeeeeeeeeee is Rrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaallllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!” - Whitebeard

[@user-sp2yl8gw5c]

yea he waiting for me, but i'll try to save a country which is not at all necessary cus WHY NOT?

[@SS-gt8sy]

@@user-sp2yl8gw5c well you know saving countries gives you meat in the end

[@seththebeatmxchine]

Kind of surprised you didn't explain why they drink alcohol and how it was safer than water aboard a ship at the time or at the very least all water on a ship had a little bit of alcohol in it to keep it from growing mold or bacteria or w.e

[@tylerodonnell3172]

You are the funniest youtuber I've seen in a while, you're gonna get REAL big soon

[@imgay5376]

+Tyler O'Donnell I totally agree. His content is great.

[@hi-gf5yl]

Tyler O'Donnell not yet, 11months later he only has 141k

[@Solwiz]

John Vo well I mean is 239k good?

[@SalamanderMagic]

Pho ton Yeah. What he's got is pretty impressive as is

[@DivithMahajan]

MANY people who watch his vids dont subscribe. That includes me. Just see the amount of views on his videos vs the subs

[@7Calvin60643]

Hahahaha!! This guy is hilarious!! I’ve just now discovered him. I hope he still makes content.

[@youtubekamek576]

his last video is 5 years old 🥲

[@brentambrielcabigas1086]

:)

[@7Calvin60643]

He’s back!!

[@youtubekamek576]

@@7Calvin60643 What a lucky coincidence 🥳

[@7Calvin60643]

@@youtubekamek576 seriously.. ! That almost feels like Fate

[@ninjacoffeebunny4659]

I know this was from four years ago, but this is oddly great research for my novel! A lot of the educational texts leave out the nitty gritty and just stick to ship and crew specifics. I've had Such a hard time finding any information that allows me to put myself in their shoes enough to make the characters realistic. Thank you *SO* much!!!

[@stillmates5526]

What is the novel about?

[@ninjacoffeebunny4659]

@@stillmates5526 It's the first book in what I intend to be a series, but if I had to summarize without spoilers I'd say pirates, highwayman, royals, and various native warrior tribes all fighting for their version of utopia. The setting is mostly fantasy, but most who believe in any magic in the world only fear it, to the point it effects their societal views of and most technological advancements they should have had by their time have been banned; however, left to their own devices and restricted only by their imaginations, many secret scientists develop their own creations (whatever their reasons may be). Meanwhile many other characters are searching for evidence of magic, all made more complicated by each kingdom having it's own laws on what technology and supposed magic is legal. Sorry that ended up so long, the book cycles through the perspectives of a lot of main characters and the story itself comes together over time like a puzzle (though I do get into the action fairly quickly to keep readers entertained). I'd also like to point out I intend this to be for adults, as many scenes will definitely not be suitable for children. I've invoked nightmares with my torture scenes when I ran some chapters by my friends 🤣

[@stillmates5526]

@@ninjacoffeebunny4659 This sounds unique and cool story, can't wait to see it published.

[@Ffwsbn]

@@ninjacoffeebunny4659 what's the title?

[@ninjacoffeebunny4659]

@@Ffwsbn Lol, I'm not giving away my whole unpublished idea. I'll let you know hopefully within a year from now 😂😂😂

[@SuperCosmicMutantSquid]

There are hardtack samples on display in museums. They're still 'edible'. WANNA TRY?

[@quiverdancervolca]

I am a pirate right now. I have 33 gigabytes of 30 year old Nintendo games.

[@soumitrochowdhury8271]

Sams expectation: Majority of audience will relate piracy to Pirates of the Caribbean and Jack Sparrow Comment section: One Piece and the straw hats

[@Hulijingjinx]

the Mugiwaras seem more fun.

[@_unknown._.entity_]

THE ONE PIECE........ IS REAL!!!!!!!!!

[@whambunger]

salted beef is delicious and i will hear nobody who says otherwise

[@fredd3243]

This better be hemp rope..............

[@alexandergilles8583]

3:10 A+ for the reference

[@kinggil4181]

Nice profile pic

[@eellion3611]

"oo oo aa aa"

[@skyfeelan]

I don't want to be PotC pirate, but One Piece pirate, who get to eat delicious food everyday

[@bkbj8282]

I can HEAR the amount of dollars your microphone cost.

[@llamawayne6944]

bkbj8282 buy him a new one if ya care so much

[@ThePaintballgun]

what 3?

[@8bitmagic]

It probably came with the computer he's using, still quality information though

[@quinnbrohelfilms]

8bitmagic not very quality, you can tell he just thought of this himself and didn't spend much time researching. A lot of his points can be proven wrong.

[@jacksciorti7916]

Quinnerooni this is sam o'nella academy. We're here for skank bangin' and swank bankin'.

[@roserainhannah]

The dislikes are all twenty-year-old men who are mad at you for ruining their dreams.

[@joedollarbiden9823]

I am 23

[@auhsojacosta1672]

I am 26

[@skyblue5833]

I am 29

[@auhsojacosta1672]

@@skyblue5833 *O L D*

[@skyblue5833]

@@auhsojacosta1672 says you

[@thegrob8892]

This is the shit that Akainu would have the Marines spread around