Why Large Age Gap Relationships Can Feel Gross

[@jfs5873]

My parents have a 20 year age gap and their relationship is perfectly happy, much more happy than most relationships I've known. Also, I don't get the argument that age gaps necessarily have have a power dynamic. Yes, there is some power dynamic to it. However, finances have a much bigger influence over power dynamics than age gaps, and yet it's considered acceptable for someone who has a lot more money to date a poor person.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

The power thing is a feminist talking point. They seem to think guys actually decide who to date or marry based on how much power they can wield over them. LOL.

[@BadAssNigga95]

​@@StuJones-gn7telol men will thros feminism in every argument to make it believable but it's not. Their is an power imbalance, I am not a feminist but I have observed many men who make these comment.

[@TheTruthDuringATimeOfDeceit]

This power dynamic is an artificial one created by society, and could be remedied by establishing more civil rights for younger adults. Even in the absence of civil rights for young adults, if we can trust older adults to raise even younger people and to teach them without harming them despite the very strict degree of power that such adults have over youths, why can't we likewise trust older adults who may share a mutual desire to have romantic relationships with younger adults when these particular adults will most likely not have anywhere near the same degree of power over these younger adults as do parents and teachers? And should we ignore the fact that most of the real abuse of power directed at young adults which harm them in very demonstrable ways occurs courtesy of those who live with them or otherwise have the most direct power over them? I will also have to remind people that such a physical power imbalance exists between older men and women on most occasions yet we don't consider such relationships inherently bad on the part of the man if the woman agrees to the relationship and reports it as a positive experience. Please allow me to also remind people, before they say "Young adults and older women are not comparable in this situation because older women are adults who fully understand relationships and young adults don't!" that it was also once believed that women were "innocent" of all relationships at one time, that men who initiated relationships with them outside of marriage were corrupting them, and that women didn't understand the ramifications of such relationships (relations and sexual activity between men and women was tolerated within the bounds of marriage only as a "necessary evil" that was grudgingly accepted due to the fact that such activity was essential for propagating the human species, but it was believed that white women didn't actually enjoy sex and relations between black men).

[@okaycola2]

Yikes

[@AnaGarcia-ld5lf]

A 27-year-old friend of mine has married an influential and wealthy man of 74 years: she had a brilliant career, but she has become pregnant 3 times and, when I have gone to help her with the children, I have seen her totally isolated, subject to her husband and his desires, and trapped in her house with no possibility of getting out of that situation. This is a very extreme example of gap relationships, but it made me see something terrible about them.

[@kyleleighton9726]

The thing is, there’s so many factors that go into the health of a relationship and so many ways in which a relationship could be toxic or healthy that age gap alone should not matter to anyone outside the relationship

[@Lachicadelcable24]

When I was in my 20's, I dated a guy who was 40. A homeless guy told him: "It took you 20 more years to find someone in her 20s", now that was an eye opener, he was a cheater, a player, a controlling freak and a manipulator. He left me with trauma. To lose the v-card with a loser was a traumatic experience. If you are a female in your 20s, please be careful with these old dudes because there is a reason why they are single in their 40s.

[@biggerbitcoin5126]

Funny thing is he says it's gross....the truth is I bet his porn history has no female over the age of 30 years old.

[@RealFeelsProject]

That's actually a topic for an upcoming video - how porn is harmful to: 1. many performers and 2. the sexual expectations of men Thanks for bringing it up!

[@visicircle]

Before Google and Yahoo started censoring such things, terms like lol*ta and "year old" were among the most frequently used in porn searches.

[@jefferylimestone6920]

probably since all of the users are people in school

[@juliafraa6419]

Having a relationship is not the same. No one can use their age to control you if they are just watching porn.

[@tedmccarron]

@FIGHTFANNERD9 yep!

[@iwl-5ccdc337]

I’m a 55 y/o man and she’s 40. She made it very apparent she was interested so I made a move. Now we are a couple. It’s mutual and we are both consenting adults.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

That's like a perfect gap at that age.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

She's 40.

[@Veruska75]

@@GUITARTIME2024What’s your point?

[@StuJones-gn7te]

A 40 year old woman is lucky to get any man.

[@orangeradishneo]

55 and 40 is totally different than 20 and 35. Age gaps are more appropriate as you age.

[@joannareyngoudt9955]

I wish I had waited until my brain was done developing to get married. I got married at 22, he was 32. We started dating when I was 19. I'm now 26. I've changed so much since I was 19, so much since I was 22. It's caused a lot of problems in our marriage. I'm not the same person he married. I have different goals and priorities now than I did then. It definitely has been very hard.

[@okaycola2]

Natural part of growing up. He knew that you would change so he is simply using you to create children & dump you for another teenager. Wake up

[@Thrivinginthespotlight]

If you haven't already, can you please make a video about the flip side? Why relationships with older women and younger men make us uncomfortable

[@Obeythemay]

None of you can present a moral argument of why it's wrong. Beyond that it's just you coping.

[@krisztinabencze4726]

I am 49 yo, he is 37 yo. And our relationship is perfect.

[@LazyboyRecliner]

I'm 37 and seeing a beautiful 51 year old woman. It's the best relationship I've ever had

[@unclejoobah9845]

12 years isn't bad at that age. Now spread it to 20 years younger than the 40 year old

[@tainii-san5879]

Its somewhat different for y'all, you are currently in your late forties and he is in his late thirties. You didn't pick him out the moment he was legal, I presume.

[@Joe-Przybranowski]

It's not anyone else's business who other people date.

[@Lost1nTranslation]

​​​@joanarc7963I wouldn't be here had my parents not had an age gap in their marriage. So naturally, by the nature of my existence, I have very little I can say against it. I think there's a right way to do things and the wrong way. Are you saying that if a 34 year old man consensually and healthily fell in love with your niece and they both were happy, you would still have a problem with it? What if the genders were reversed?

[@ham5483]

​@joanarc7963 24? Thats a grown woman you have 0 say, control freak.

[@ham5483]

​@joanarc796324 is a grown woman, she can do as she pleases and you have no say in the matter.

[@Tfnafplayer2]

If a adult is dating a minor yes yes it is

[@Lost1nTranslation]

@@Tfnafplayer2 I think that's assumed here? No? (as in, assuming the relationship is legal)

[@justinaacuriouswanderer1496]

This channel just feels disastrously underrated. Omg. Omg. More people need to see this.

[@DL-idk]

The biggest problem with age gap relationship is lifespan. I’ve seen people having to take care of a very old and sick partner at a relatively young age, giving up on travels and entertainments that they at their age can still enjoy because the health of the other person has already deteriorated well pass the point of no return. And then they would be lonely for decades after their partner had passed away. No matter how people justify this and how they’re happily married now, this is just something inherent to a relationship like that. Not saying that it never happens to couples of similar age, but in those cases they’re just unfortunate. It is not a by-default element of their relationships.

[@clayrihavein1316]

Well I came into wealth 18 so I should date people twice my age cause I’m wealthier than people my age? Most of the things seem stereotypical lol.

[@TheTruthDuringATimeOfDeceit]

A common stereotype to rationalize such attitudes are the beliefs that young people are more incompetent and prone to bad decision-making than older people. Their supposed lack of competency to make "emotionally complex" decisions are assumed on the arbitrary basis of chronological age rather than judged according to individual merit. The justification to have this attitude towards young people is bolstered by common societal myths that young people have inherent neurological malfunctions that render them very prone to making "bone-headed" decisions. An earlier biological myth described how teens were supposedly subject to hormonal swings that caused their behavior and decision-making abilities to be erratic, but more recently we have seen the development of the belief that the teen brain is inherently "defective," which therefore allegedly causes them to have a great propensity for making incompetent decisions. These all-too common discriminatory beliefs have been challenged quite well over the past decade in scientific studies conducted by many clinical psychologists, and one particularly notable one in his groundbreaking article, beginning with "The Myth of the Teen Brain" [available online] and in his excellent book, The Case Against Adolescence from 2007 and its 2010 update, Teen 2.0. As a result of this thinking, young people are seen to be in a perpetual state of "not knowing any better"...until they reach an arbitrary age, where they officially become fully developed and are then assumed to be competent to make their own decisions regardless of individual merits. Older people have their full civil rights, so they must be given the benefit of the doubt and allowed to take emotional risks regardless of their perceived or actual individual merits, and this is the way it's supposed to be in a democracy. But younger people do not have all of these civil rights, and thus the very important democratic right to take risks and grow as a person at their own pace--and to judge the rapidity of that pace for themselves--is not recognized. The reason many believe that it's okay for young adults to have mutually consensual sex with each other but not with someone twice their age is because some people take a stab at being open-minded in their own eyes by grudgingly accepting the fact that younger adults desire romantic relationships with older adults and that attempting to deny this completely is not only futile, but also counterproductive to their well-being. Having been raised in the same culture as the rest of us, propagators of these stereotypes will only allow their open-mindedness to go forward to a limited extent, i.e., to a level that is considered politically "safe" to hold among "reasonable" people on the Left of the political spectrum, who fear being called names by their opponents on the Right if they do otherwise. Hence, though they do not believe that consensual relationships between two people of the same general age group are automatically going to have negative effects on the participants, they are still repulsed from an aesthetic standpoint by the idea of an older person engaging in relations with someone that young. Simply put, such age disparate pairings are "gross" to them. So they justify this attitude by the stated belief that older adults automatically have "too much worldly experience" for young adults, and this is believed to enable the adult in question to easily control younger adults and manipulate them into doing something that they do not want to believe any young adult would willingly do unless they were manipulated into doing it, and therefore may have only thought they wanted to do it, or that they found it a good experience. Of course, this was the exact same reasoning used by Southern white bigots in the late 19th and early 20th centuries to lynch black men who had relations with white women. Such men of color were always accused of "rape" regardless of whether or not the woman agreed to such relations because the white men of this era and locale were so offended by the idea of interracial relations--bolstered by then still prevailing beliefs that women were easily led astray by "selfish" and logically superior men (an attitude that has since been directed at people according to age rather than gender)--that they rationalized their lynchings with a firm belief that no self-respecting white woman could possibly have desired to have "icky" relations with a black man of her own volition. Because of their disdain for relations between black men and white women, these white bigots concluded that if the women weren't forced into relations with these black men then they must have been manipulated into it by the suave nature that reputedly gave all men an advantage over and above the inherent naivety and easily led astray female psyche. This enabled them to justify such harsh and unnecessary acts of retribution that were in actuality done solely out of hatred for blacks and revulsion over interracial relations between black men and white women, the latter of whom white men felt they were supposed to be "protective" of in the sense that these white women belonged to them alone. This exact same dynamic is played out today, though not in regards to race but rather in regards to age. Blacks have since earned enough civil rights that it's no longer possible for the legal system--or for too many even mildly open-minded white people--to justify miscegenation laws. And women have earned much more respect in regards to their perceived level of competence during that same time as a result of their own movement for emancipation, so they are no longer automatically assumed to have been manipulated when they have a consensual relationship with a black man (they are simply said to have "jungle fever," and left at that). But the important thing to consider about young adults, and like blacks and women in the past, they currently lack the civil rights and legally recognized autonomy to escape from these stereotypes, and thus lack any substantial opportunities to prove their competence. They are also forcibly kept from obtaining information that would enhance their knowledge and ability to make competent decisions, which causes them to appear to "naturally" fit the stereotype of "ignorant" young people that is actually culturally imposed upon them--which is a major case of political dirty pool played upon them by parents and the State. Those young adults who do not fit the stereotypes and rise above their culturally imposed disadvantages are dismissed as "exceptions to the rule", and not enough reasonable opportunities exist for sizable numbers of young adults to prove their individual levels of competence at the present time.

[@ambivertreader]

​@@TheTruthDuringATimeOfDeceit In my opinion, it's less a matter of the younger person being unable to make decisions, and more a matter of differing stages of development. A forty year old man has much different priorities and is in a completely different headspace than an eighteen year old girl. There's also a lot of baggage that comes with dating or marrying into an age gap at a young age, like children from previous marriages, health issues, or financial dependence.

[@zachary2751]

We only see it as gross when an older partner is involved. So I just want to point out that: 1. There are imbalances in all relationships, not just age gap ones. (ex: a well-heeled female medical student and her somewhat dim-witted, cab-driver boyfriend (who is built like Arnold Schwarzenegger)) 2. Young partners can be just as bad as old ones. (ex: young women using older men for their money.)

[@okaycola2]

Dating someone younger than your kids is gross. Dating someone who has less money or more money is normal. What happened to you?

[@marleym4492]

okaycola2 - idk I could reverse that and say dating someone with substantially more money than your parents is gross and that dating someone younger or older is normal. and even if you don't consider it normal that is no excuse to take away the rights of the younger person to date who they want.

[@samcohen5312]

How has this guy’s channel not blown up yet???? It’s great!

[@shauryasshorts7116]

Yea man sed...

[@sloebone7399]

Because feminist ideas coming out of a man isn’t exactly click worthy.

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Maybe because he's buying the feminist talking points completely.

[@AmandaBloom-jd2po]

Dick Van Dyke 46 year age difference with is wife. Thats crazy 😂😮

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Tony Randall married a 25 year old when he was 75.

[@thomascraig6814]

I’m a 31 year old virgin who’s never been on a date was homeschooled and socially stunted and lives with my parents. I’m going back to college full-time. I have no interest dating women my age. I get along with people 10 years younger than me male and female, better than people my own age. I haven’t even chose a career yet. I have nothing in common with a 30 year old woman who has an established career and is looking to settle down and have kids. I’m moving from my parents’ house for the first time to college and honestly have no independent life experience but have lived like a teenager for the past 15 years. I couldn’t imagine being settled down or having kids until at least my mid-40. I don’t have the maturity or experience of people my age and that’s why I want to date younger women who want to travel, have fun, and explore life too.

[@carbonunit9314]

Interesting

[@thomascraig6814]

@ Interesting?

[@carbonunit9314]

@thomascraig6814 Yeah, you dont hear that explanation every day. It's interesting

[@thomascraig6814]

@@carbonunit9314 Story of my life. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣

[@carbonunit9314]

@thomascraig6814 sounds tough hope you get your shit together goodluck

[@nabazanwar6326]

I agree with the psychological aspects of an age gap. As a sociologist, I believe this moderne times with our vast bombardment from social media, turns people (young men) goals and desires outwards than inward. People know more about who the Kardashians are than the basic knowledge of the dynamics in their own psyche. The presentation and illusion of the sexy and wealthy from social media, has not just alienated people from each other but also from themselves. More to say... maybe later. I hope more people will make honest and critical videos as yours. Good job 👍

[@RealFeelsProject]

Absolutely agree and I await more thoughts from you. Thanks so much for checking it out

[@Brad-t7e]

If you take care of yourself and look 25-30 years younger as well as being athletic; then the only difference is life experience.

[@LadyJane222]

You can be very fit over 40 but will never look like your in your 20’s or 30’s again. It still shows in your face and skin. I’m fitter than I was in my 20’s and look like I’m in my early 40’s but I’m 55.🤷‍♀️

[@mauricioespinoza1375]

@@LadyJane222 jajaja cause of the baby face? Bullshit. Human being has the worst luck of this universe cause his best shape related to skin, beautiful face only lasts some years. Post data: For women the process is worse because men have more collagen in the skin, this was already proven.

[@alanamontero4743]

I think we're in a transition phase in society and it's leading to a lot of confusion. And in some cases, anxiety and fear, because people don't like uncertainty. I think this is also causing some people to double down on outdated norms. They are outdated because they no longer serve the purpose they served and they conflict with new norms. As for me, I'm hopeful for the future. Traditional gender roles can be fine, for some people. They do work for some people. The problem is forcing them onto everybody. The problem is being assigned a role based on what sex/gender you are, rather than who you are as a person, your context, and what works for you and your partner (or partners). In one period of my life (several years) I did try to fit into a more traditional role and to have relationships with those more traditional gender dynamics. It made me miserable. I felt incredibly confined and like I had to put on a performance and couldn't be myself. Additionally, I quickly lost all sexual interest in my partners. Each time, I ended the relationship or didn't let it even really begin, because I knew that it wouldn't work. I have male friends who've reported a similar experience when they've tried to take on a dominant male role. It just doesn't work for a lot of people, at least not beyond a surface level. It didn't in the 50s or 1900s or 1850s either. Some people look at the past through rose-coloured glasses but the reality is that a lot of marriages back then weren't happy or fulfilling. Slotting people into narrowly defined roles and supposed needs and desires based on sex/gender is foolishness, in my opinion. Trying to follow roles and relationship/sex scripts that don't fit who you are as a person or your relationships is also foolishness and an effective way to make yourself and others unhappy and frustrated.

[@said24rabbani]

there is difference in norms and nature remember that

[@evaphillips2102]

Ma’am you NEED a podcast

[@jclyntoledo]

I see what you mean and I agree that not everything is as black and white as ppl make it out to be.

[@hananokuni2580]

@@said24rabbani 100% true. Norms can be changed. Nature cannot.

[@DavidJackson-y4d]

Just be careful that those "new norms" are not repackaged "old norms".

[@TheKid377400]

I hope the algorithm picks your vids up, they are super well scripted and produced.

[@alienkatt7362]

A few academics reject evolution theory due to the supposed confirmation bias of "white male" researchers, but the fact that by that same logic one might conclude that these mainly female academics might also be acting out of confirmation bias doesn't occur to you. In any case, the fact that some academics disagree with the evolutionary explanation leads you to summarily conclude that "evolution theory doesn't hold water." That's quite a leap. There is nothing wrong with dissenting views, of course. But to simply dismiss an idea because dissenting views exist is foolish. You may be harboring a bit of confirmation bias yourself, sir

[@visicircle]

Goodness, it's a rational human being! And here in the wilds of the internet where they are so rarely seen! Thank you for putting into words what I was feeling. Constructive criticism like yours is what makes this site so valuable.

[@tjm9565]

I'm 55 and my wife is 27. I have never loved anyone like this and we are over the moon.

[@angelwolf5756]

Good for you I’m glad you have a solid relationship

[@stinameaner]

Well said and happy for you both

[@tjm9565]

@@angelwolf5756 Lots of work, but so amazing! ty

[@juggalogamer8541]

And of course you're going to have that bunch of group of people they're going to say congratulations that's so awesome but honestly you're old enough to be her dad that's really nasty I'm sorry if people don't look at it as you know when you were like a teenager she wasn't even born or when you were in your twenties having fun with your friends your wife was in a baby crib

[@juggalogamer8541]

@official asiangirl exactly and whether they think they have a lot in common they really don't

[@krystallovesclassics508]

Did you really have to start this video by highlighting Aaliyah being raped by Robert Kelly. That wasn't a relationship that was a child being groomed and preyed on by a serial child predator. BTW That song was written by Robert Kelly, Aaliyah didn't write a single song on her debut album.

[@seijin4426]

It's not gross, it's normal and natural. People are freaking out over nothing.

[@BadAssNigga95]

It's not natural, it's jammed into our brains to see it as "normal". But it certainly is not normal.

[@tejay3504]

I also find it important to point out the societal pressure and ingrained habit of people pleasing in women. I have been 22 with a man who was 44. People pleasing, wanting to make others happy, the school system suppresses our healthy questioning of authority and when older men have seemingly more resources and power, they can come across as authority figure. We are not taught to have a healthy relationship with authority. We are taught to bow down and give up our needs as women to put others before our own. Take this into consideration too great video

[@sarahrobertson634]

Women, resist at all costs.

[@sdjslkdjlsskldjslkdjsl8262]

"authority should be questioned" Meanwhile there's like a 99% chance you wore a useless mask during covid because the authorities said you should, you got the rushed vaccine because the FDA (an authority) said you should. lol.

[@jeromelancashire3278]

But you can get abusive relationships like that between two people of the same age, as I grew up in a loving household between two parents with an age gap I find it incredibly offensive when somebody compares a coupling like that to abuse or worse pedophilia.

[@Takiki]

The power dynamic is absolutely not comparable to two people of the same age

[@electricityisgreat2767]

@@Takiki its way different two same age people abuse it was less worse and they both would understand what to do most likely

[@jeromelancashire3278]

@@electricityisgreat2767 Trust me it's not,

[@jclyntoledo]

@@Angel-vv9xo Thank you! It happens in work and teacher student dynamics or other roles were someone has more power over you either by status/role or money. The age is not the sole deciding factor.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@Angel-vv9xo Do you really want another power imbalance between the genders?

[@kimerietate8372]

I am a woman, and when I was 34, I dated a younger guy for a month or so.I never once found it "exciting"to be spending time with someone younger.Men like younger women for superficial reasons, and to to feed their egos.They want to feel like they are in control, and they want to feel that they must be special if they're able to pull a younger woman.They are being self-serving, and not thinking about the women/girls at all.

[@bankrolldame]

this.

[@kajekage9410]

My younger wife and I laugh at this degree of cynicism.

[@searchrankoptimize]

@@kajekage9410 how much younger is she? The gap?

[@atlantsi42]

You sound like a real catch

[@gamma21285]

@@bankrolldame nope

[@Thrivinginthespotlight]

I don't know I feel like a ten year age Gap can be normal ish, I think it's much weirder if there is an age Gap where one person is old enough to be your parents. my rule of thumb is if they were in a completely different stage of school when you were growing up, then it can set up a lot of differences like if there were high school when you were in elementary school growing up, that might be kind of weird because they were already dating and most likely sexually active

[@RodrigoOswego]

People from completely different ethnic and cultural backgrounds get together and form healthy and loving relationships. The idea that you need to be the same as one another to be compatible is a complete logical fallacy.

[@CarolaTesla]

​​@@RodrigoOswego but this person is not saying they need to be same or have the same cultural background... They said they prefer someone who is closer in age.

[@Sealwithwificonnection]

"Weird" is subjective

[@ashantythegreat3231]

​@@RodrigoOswego ...you're missing the point, sweetie. It's not about culture or tradition. We in a time we can admit some traditions aren't fine and we should accept that. 😊

[@RodrigoOswego]

@@ashantythegreat3231 you don't get to decide what's fine and what isn't, sweetie. At least not all by yourself. You can stand on your convictions as much as you want, but at the end of the day you are trying to impose your sense of moral superiority on relationships and people that you are not personally involved with. You might think you are righteous but so does every racist and gaybasher. Maybe you should keep your personal morals to yourself and use them to decide what kind of relationship you want to have and leave all the other consenting adults to do the same.

[@coolbeans6895]

I’ve not had any experience with age gap relationships and don’t intend to, but I 100% agree that guys doing traditionally homemaking things is very much a turn on and absolutely cannot be undervalued. Edit: actually I do notice the affect of age gap relationships in my parents. They’re 12 years apart and for the most part their relationship is good, but you can definitely feel the strong power dynamic inequality that occasionally feels uncomfortable

[@ariandmary]

Why is an unequitable or varying dynamics relationship demonized? Not only do I have an Age Gap relationship but I have age gap FRIENDS in their 60s. No one has ever denounced my friendships, calling them "manipulative", "gross", "creepy". Strange that people only rush to these words when love and intimacy is involved. A difference in experiences is only to be expected in AGR's but definitely not worthy to be shunned. An older man can benefit a younger woman in MANY ways and vice versa. After all, isn't a relationship one where both HAPPILY give and take? There's only one thing gross and that is Ageism. Society, especially western, wants you to become invisible or die after 50. By then you are "worthless" to them. THAT is gross.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Since we now live in a world where you cannot even trust your shadow your statement might be naive at times

[@Dennis-nc3vw]

No one really cares about power dynamics. If their daughter was an airhead and she brought home the class valedictorian for dinner, they wouldn't say "Oh noes, power dynamics! He's going to manipulate her." The fact is, the Pride movement is just full of hypocritical, intellectually dishonest cowards. They say "love is love" and "consent is all that matters", but they don't really believe it. So they invent a bunch of stupid loopholes like the "power dynamics" line.

[@JMP-kw3wy]

This video is totally wrong. The real reason why the older guy younger girl thing "feels weird" is simply because you're talking about a man just sleeping with a younger woman. If you frame it as an older man marrying (and treating his wife good) age becomes way less of an issue if they were both ready to get married. If two people treat sex and relationships as a serious thing with a goal of marriage and monogamy, there's way less "predatory" vibes. Less abuse of power connotations and implications. More about two people that have the same goal and happen to be some years apart.

[@hananokuni2580]

A guy who is 45 and marries a woman that is 25, and treats her respectfully every time is not predatory IMO. Now, if the guy that is 45 just wants to get his rocks off with a girl who is 25 (and she consents), then he can be called predatory. However, to know whether a relationship is predatory (and call it out as such) or not takes some careful observation and most of us just don't know how to do that. As well, some like being chased and caught. Thus, I don't consider it my business to get involved in affairs like that.

[@Underyourbedeyes]

why dont you do a little more research. When older women mate with a younger man, they have a much better chance of having a sucessful pregancy. So it actually works both ways. Older women with power and wealth, will look for younger men. Thus, just as there are younger women who find older men attractive, not just for money, there are younger men who find older women attractive, and there is a biological reason for everything that can and has happened.

[@harisfareed4599]

Exactly

[@edp3202]

Inequitable is the key word. The woman has NO power in the relationship when the man's much older and is more established. NONE.

[@ziadallali8456]

Not true

[@Underyourbedeyes]

@@ziadallali8456 yes it is.

[@leobat7007]

The reason why large age gap can feel gross is that moral disgust is a thing, and you subscribe to a moral system that sees power imbalances as exploitative, oppressive and wrong. Since relationships with a large age gap inherently involve a power imbalance, you see them as wrong hence gross. But that's just you. To the vast majority of humanity, who doesn't see power imbalance as wrong, relationship with a large age gap appear as perfectly normal and acceptable. Hence why this kind of relationship has been, and still is, the norm worldwide. Bottom line is, you shouldn't overgeneralize your feelings to the rest of humanity, because you're not representative of the average human. You're weird (western, educated, industrialized, rich, democratic), which puts you at the extreme end of the distribution for many psychological traits, including morality.

[@Fakeslimshady]

You know what has power? Money

[@jclyntoledo]

I agree except the last line 😂😂. I think anyone in the western world would most likely agree with him. Not all though bc I think this video is overly simplified and a lot of past generations were full of age gaps.

[@leobat7007]

@@jclyntoledo The US is not the western world. I'm Italian, and age gaps here still don't raise much of an eyebrow.

[@BadAssNigga95]

Age gap are gross and humans justifying that should check their moral compas as well.

[@sixfootse7en248]

I’m 48m and been dating a 22f for a month. I normally wouldn’t even try to go after a woman that age, but she pursued me. No, I don’t have money. I know long term the odds of us working out is nearly impossible, but I’m enjoying it and just taking it day by day. She’s beautiful, the sex is great, and she treats me better than most other women I’ve dated in their 30s and 40s.

[@BadAssNigga95]

You sir are part of the problem.

[@sd_pjwal]

I'm 50. She's 24. Her family is British royalty and wealth is the last thing she needs from me. Get over it bro.

[@Anthony-yp3ug]

these videos are so good keep it up

[@sloebone7399]

Let’s just judge everybody and try to bend them to our will. Because we know how they should live their lives. They’re not breaking any laws so we’ve got to try to shame them or they might do what they want and we can’t have that. And if we can turn an adult woman in the victim of an adult man, simply because he is older than her, that’s a bonus!

[@jclyntoledo]

😂😂😂 This is funny bc this is literally the msg most of society goes by the whole "everyone is different but let's treat them all the same" idea.

[@giuliapiperea]

The women is 70% the issue because they go for older men because they are control freaks and very insecure , younger men have more options prettier girls and that stuff but the old dude will be so happy that you’re so young so will not matter so much how hot you are 😂 is all about control Women can be manipulative too come on . And is always the case almost . Almost all the relationship I show with big age gap , the husband was a narcissist and the women was a very smart sociopath who can manipulate a narcissist sooo easily telling them all what they want to hear and boom they are yours😂

[@misterrea861]

Dig the irony of the Al Pacino reference at 5:15 . Two years after this video got posted, 83 year old Pacino and his 29 year old girlfriend announced they were expecting a baby. I think he spent too much time "getting the power."

[@howardroark3670]

Let's be honest. The only men and women that don't like age gap relationships are JEALOUS. Because they can't have one.

[@aaronc4724]

I could not take a 20 year old girl serious in a relationship. Even though I look young for my age. I just wish more people would date closer to their age.

[@Very_Silly_Individual]

Preaching to the choir 😂

[@Joe-Przybranowski]

I just wish more people would mind their own business.

[@ModelJames13]

YOU do it. Don't worry about what others do.

[@lander77477]

why do you wish that

[@amarugulloa9485]

Love this video! Your self-reflection, honesty and use of research was great and something I wish more people would do. I was wondering if you could share how you found some of your sources? I'm wanting to do a paper on a similar topic and I am having trouble finding what key words to use to find the information I need. Love the content, keep it going :)

[@amarugulloa9485]

@user-qb6ze6di8k exactly, and people will take that as the go ahead to let their guard down. Sadly as a femme person I’ve had to learn to be very selective with my trust

[@NoName-zb1gm]

What's more "gross" a man dating a much younger woman or a woman who won't date a man her own age because he's not good looking enough or he doesn't make enough money or because he doesn't provide enough excitement to keep her engaged in the relationship?

[@Very_Silly_Individual]

Well, the first one is gross physically. The second is gross because of how immature she is acting. All the more evidence that she probably should stick to her age bracket.

[@baskey3723]

you dont HAVE to date anyone.

[@shawndiddybodilly2613]

I’m 33 currently dating a 18 yo which I had no intentions until she started hitting on me I must admit this is the most healthiest relationship I been in I don’t try to change her or who’s she’s gonna become on her own I embrace it

[@chae1557]

Gross

[@riri-pz3by]

Ewww

[@Anon00113]

Ew

[@manosijroy8282]

Thats a big age gap tbh. Btw I am a guy who turned 22 just 20 days ago and have crush on a girl in my college who is 18 turning 19 after 2 months so hopefully our age gap is fine.

[@chae1557]

@@manosijroy8282 the amount of life experience he has over her is going to have an affect on his relationship whether he realizes it or not. It's not her job to support a man who's passed the age of proper brain development.

[@trqster]

You've got some good takes in there and the conclusions are spot on. My partner is 25y younger and we've established a healthy loving relationship considering the points you've left at the end.

[@robertlowe979]

Specifically older men who find themselves sexually attracted to much younger women all have the same Psychological Profile as the Lust/Serial Killer and the Pedophile/Serial Killer. If had more pre- informed social experience, these girls would be running from much older men.

[@codingiscreativity]

I am 24, I am using dating sites where I get request from older men 40+ , they don't want children but in their profile it's mentioned, prefer partner age 18-27. This age 18-27 is an age where female in their prime fertility. If these men aren't looking for children, why do they want women in that age group? They can search 35+ . Are those men toxic and time waster? Or is it any Red pill theory ?

[@snörre23]

try searching 35+ its been a desaster in my experience, and not everybody wants children

[@BitterPeachh]

@@snörre23 Nobody wants children are you serious. It's been a disaster for me even under 35. Nobody I met wants marriage and to buy a house.

[@BitterPeachh]

You are correct. I went through the same thing. Every guy I met that were in their 30s and early 40s did not want children or marriage. Alot of them already had kids and didn't want more, or, marriage, because they already did that in their 20s. Women in their 20s are trying to get started. They are time waisted.

[@kimerietate8372]

I'm a 51 year-old woman, and what they want is a "hot girl".They are thinking about SUPERFICIALITIES, but they also want the EGO BOOST of thinking they're special enough to get a younger women.They also want someone who's naive, more easily impressed, and they want feel like they're in charge.An ex-boyfriend of mine admitted to me that he wanted a young girl who would WORSHIP HIM, because he knows a woman his age is not going to do that.

[@kajekage9410]

@@kimerietate8372 you sound bitter as hell lol.

[@greenghoul157]

Logistically a gap of 20 years or more would make the younger partner young enough to have a father daughter bond with and by the time they're 40 they would be your caretaker, I think the cut off point for a healthy age gap (between adults) is around 15 years anything more than that things get logistically uncomfortable, I also think teenagers should be off limits when you reach a certain age, my cousin who just turned 20 is married to a man in his late thirties that started dating her when she was 17 and they have a very strange groomerish relationship

[@ModelJames13]

Dogs get groomed, people don't. Take your age prejudiced butt outta here. 👉

[@banjomechanic]

So it is a bad thing because of all the horrible stories about age gap relationships we hear in the media? The media specializes in “horrible”. Love who you want, date who you want.

[@intendedclient5574]

I never deeply thought about the power dynamic angle until I heard him say, the older person may influence the younger person's personality instead them finding their personality on their own. I think there are pros and cons there.

[@sunnypyburn6478]

He has not deeply thought about it either. The older man may have the economic & social power over the younger woman, but the younger woman will have the sexual power over him, something which is totally ignored in this video to maintain this feministic and man-shaming society we live in.

[@ashantythegreat3231]

​@sunnypyburn6478 "feministic" "Man shaming" Oh god.

[@evaphillips2102]

It feels good to hear a man speak on this topic and voice these concerns. I’m not against age gap relationships (7-10 years seems to about even some evolutionary things out) but the wider gaps have always made me uncomfortable, you’ve explained why perfectly.

[@atlantsi42]

Why not mind your own business?

[@adamgraydon3255]

Isn't this discrimination? What if some guy wouldn't date you just because you are black?

[@mts7274]

Does it feel good enough to... touch yourself? 😏💦

[@lilydiallo594]

What matters is the heart, not age.

[@PeevyMctweevy]

Why would big age gaps make you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't affect you personally, maybe you need some sort of therapy..

[@watchmanexpert]

I divorced because my wife didn’t want sex , she is 56 I am 54 … now my new girl is 36

[@Mikegtu2005]

Ahah so your lucky to have another 10 years of sex. Should have gone for 18yo . You’d be right till mid 70s buddy

[@langying]

To answer the question: Because it comes off as predatory. It's assumed the older man is chasing the younger girl because she's supposedly less experienced, more naive, and thus easier to assert dominance over and manipulate. Now, there are guys who ate with someone younger for more wholesome reasons. But, I think more often than not; it's the former. If you think it's creepy here. You should see Japan.

[@RealFeelsProject]

Yeah, covering these topics in non-US countries is definitely something I may eventually cover. For now, I'm focusing on experiences I've seen or experienced and can speak to a little more directly.

[@Melly16yr10]

What’s going on in Japan？

[@langying]

@@Melly16yr10 weird shit

[@kamilareeder1493]

Often times it is predatory. I fell into this trap as a freshman in college and he stalked me for a year after the abusive relationship. He was crusty and too old, I stayed with him because I had no other people there and sometimes even needed food and clothes. He would make me cancel college events to hang out with him, I'd get there, and then he'd ignore me the whole time. 😠😠 Thats not even close to worse thing that happened that year. So many people have made fun of me 👎👎But I definately blame him. Im glad that im now much more confident and strong, but im sad that someone had to scar me for life to make me a stronger person 👎👎 It makes you unable to see your worth in future relationships because if they're better than that abusive guy, you'll settle even if the new guy is still a turd. I still fall into that trap sometimes lol. Thankfully I've raised my standards, but again I'm sad that I had to deal with all of that stuff 😕 surely there's easier ways to know your value and gain confidence lol Sorry to dump this under your comment 😂😂

[@addajjalsonofallah6217]

Evidence?

[@chattypirate925]

I'm sorry, but any way you look at it, a woman standing next to a man twice or three times her age just looks like her grandpa or Dad. It looks perverse on both sides.

[@lander77477]

looks perverse to you, but what if they love eachother, and they have kids and have a happy family. what is perverse about that

[@serena7418]

Your just narrow minded and judgemental grow up

[@tedmccarron]

I started dating my last girlfriend when she was 19 and I was almost 37. We were very deeply in love and lived with each other for several years. There wasn't much of a power or financial dynamic because I had a very modest income and lived in a tiny one-room studio apartment. Neither one of us had much money but we had a lot of love in that tiny apartment together. A few years later we did break up because of certain issues but they had absolutely nothing to do with age Gap and to this day we are still close friends. In fact I'm also close with her parents and her mom thinks she should have married me. This video makes it sound like it's usually a big problem they have such an age Gap but really it isn't. There are plenty of screwed up relationships with people of the same age as well as happy successful relationships between people with huge age gaps. Charlie Chaplin married his last wife when he was in his fifties and she just turned 18 and they live together happily having many children together for decades until the day he died.

[@juliafraa6419]

You are a predator full stop...and your ex will realize it when she gets to be your age and thinks back on your relationship.

[@visicircle]

@@juliafraa6419 Oh Julia. Your good points are obscured by your projecting. I'm sure you have some basis for what you are saying, but your personal experiences do not constitute all reality. What does it mean to be a predator? If your only requirement is that there is a large difference in age, then I'm afraid you make a very poor case for yourself.

[@tedmccarron]

@@juliafraa6419 she's 39 now and we're still very close friends, thank you. In fact I had Christmas dinner last year with just her and her parents, so you can bite me on that one.

[@tedmccarron]

@@visicircle thank you!

[@juliafraa6419]

@@visicircle predator is someone targeting a young person with little experience in order to manipulate them. Anyone saying women their age are "too rigid" or "too bitter" is someone who is doing this. Anyone who likes younger women because they're "flexible" or "more fun" is doing this. Power dynamics are not equal between a 40 year old and a 20 year old. Every 40 year old knows this. The ones that dont care are indeed bad people who dont care about the 20 year old. Who WANT to use that power against them. Decent people don't want to date someone when power dynamics are uneven. They want an equal partner. The fact is if you are over 25 you know it's wrong, you know why, if you're still doing it it's because you just don't care.

[@joshuascott3428]

Well since my father was a great dad and a great man and was 14 years older than my mom i tend to only see the upsides.And my step dad who was the same age as my mom was a vicious psychopath .

[@joshuascott3428]

@joanarc7963 are you saying both are exceptions then i agree

[@johnsuni6224]

feels like sour grapes from older women and younger men.

[@gamma21285]

An age gap of 10 years or so is fine if the younger partner is older than 25

[@Cousinbiddy1]

U mean 18+ and above , screw 25 that’s too old

[@italkgory99]

@@Cousinbiddy125 is too old? 😂

[@Cousinbiddy1]

@@italkgory99 yesssss , 25 is when a women’s beauty starts to decline

[@JediTiga]

Okay keep those rules to yourself... I'll continue dating 18 year old women

[@darncash2056]

Leo? Is that you?

[@scottemmons6409]

Large economic disparities are icky too. You just know shes a gold digger. If their not on the exact same economic level then shes probably with him for the money. She doesn't love him ....she loves what he can do for her.

[@jessicamessica2271]

Some do. My friend is 35 and in love with a 65 year old dude. She genuinely is super in love with him and they have a really happy relationship. His kids think she's a gold digger but I know her and she's not like that. Yes, she may have found his financial security appealing but she is genuinely in love with him.

[@serena7418]

Nah you don’t. My partner is older so what means I’m a gold digger? Does it ek I earn more than him he has no money! Be careful not to generalise it’s very narrow minded 😅

[@scottemmons6409]

@@serena7418 so age disparities is icky when the men are older because he's supposedly trying to take advantage but when it's about economics and the man has a lot more money the women is a angel.? Maybe still being taken advantage of? It's starting to sound like women can do no wrong and men can't do any right. Lol

[@michellemichelle5202]

This is what I try to tell creeps in the manosphere. Society has changed significantly and are open about choosing men they are sexually/emotionally attracted to, rather than the fact they can provide. These men absolutely are ignoring societal changes.

[@Gnashercide]

Hum society change but not biology. Stop trying to shame us for prefering young women. We're biologically driven for th .

[@michellemichelle5202]

@@Gnashercide women prefer young bucks too dummy

[@michellemichelle5202]

@@Gnashercide If it were every woman’s choice, all men would be rich young athletes, not old Hugh Hefner’s. My point about society changing was that people are becoming more open.

[@Gnashercide]

@@michellemichelle5202 but Hugh effner gt all women . If a man hve OPTIONS he would choose the younger ,childless, fit,feminine, and cooperative woman without promiscuous past. But their is a difference between what you want and what you can have , and successful men don't chase older women.

[@michellemichelle5202]

@@Gnashercide Women will always have more options than men. Period.

[@stvinney]

There's the age gap and then there's an age gap Id say the icky factor doesn't kick in till around 20 years IF the women is under like 25 So a 40 year old dating a 20 year old is NOT equal to a 50 year old dating a 30 year old Id say if the woman is over 30, 15 years is pushing the limit 8 years is the sweet spot. Just my opinion

[@RealFeelsProject]

Agreed. That's basically my stance in the video as well.

[@gourabmukhopadhyay7211]

8 years sweet spot mean when do u think that difference is ideal?

[@ashantythegreat3231]

​@@gourabmukhopadhyay7211 Maturity and experience. A 18 year old doesn't have anything in common with a 40 Year old. And is in literal high school while 40 Year has a damn job and is more settled in life. Anything can happen and the one suffering the most especially in their stage in life is the 18 Year old. Same with 20 Year olds with 40 Year olds. Besides that most can be their parents, the 20 Year old is barely recently a adult and still a college student. The same thing from last scenario applies to the 40 Year old? Do you get it now?

[@harakatidi8722]

And most women when they choose a much older man in their early years regret it later

[@pmg2585]

Really? What % of women of any age speak well of their ex-partners?

[@StuJones-gn7te]

Since women file 80% of divorces, I'd say most women regret marrying ANY man.

[@LeifurThor-qu2bz]

If you personally wish to date someone with a similar age to you, that’s called personal preference. And if you’re judgmental of people who date with an age gap you are an ageist and this form of bigotry is called ageism.

[@BadAssNigga95]

It's not ageism, it's common sense.

[@thedarkstar7045]

If you like teenagers, please just say that. You are not my cognitive equivalent, and if you think you are, then our relationship will not last 5-7 years. I'll change and grow into adulthood, while you'll still be the same immature mentally stunted man you were when you were my age. Were not dumb, we can see right through you.

[@jpaul8589]

I’m 52, she’s 21. The age gap is a chasm but her and I built an exceptional bridge. The only power I ever exert over her are high standards. No expectations other than I expect her to naturally self-actualize into whatever woman she becomes. With a woman this young, you let her nature just be what it is. You’re not “shaping, molding or forming” anything. She kept at me when I wouldn’t give ANY 20 year old the time of day and I couldn’t say no to such a brave little lady. She wants to be safe, protected, understood and satisfied with man she can trust. Everything else, she becomes her own woman on her terms. I’m that tall muscled Scorpio guy (she luvs that sht) and she’s a tiny little smoke-show so we balance out and look like a “power couple” - the age gap between us is there but it’s impossible to nail down. That’s us.

[@Apollos_Triumph]

I'm late 20s and i would have to say i find early 20s the most attractive, sure older teens have fully developed curves, they tend to think and act like children.

[@hustleyourknowledge]

Is it wrong for a 35 year old man to help and encourage a 20 year old woman achieve her nursing career? If it becomes an intimate relationship along the way is that wrong? We go to college together.

[@RealFeelsProject]

As I talk about at the end of the video, age gap relationships can be fruitful and successful for both parties through communication and awareness of possible harmful power dynamics.

[@ModelJames13]

Try to marry her as soon as you can.

[@gourabmukhopadhyay7211]

@@ModelJames13 Why as soon as?

[@ModelJames13]

@@gourabmukhopadhyay7211 Because once a man gets to his age his chance to get married is very small. This could be his last chance so he should go for it. 😎

[@StarFyodperor]

Only in the last minute and a half, he does mention the question "How it may be made to work".

[@doglover-zo2us]

I am in favor of large age gaps. Period. You people who think that it is 'creepy' have no honesty, or understanding... ALL MEN want the 20-something cheerleader.. It's biology- and instinct.. You can hate us for wanting that, but that instinct is part of what saved the human race from extinction.. My best friends are a large gap couple- him 50's -her 20's.. They have a second child together. Why hate on him/ them? NO, It's not 'immoral' . Age-gap relationships without kids are even better. If you can drink at 21, vote at 18, you can have a LT relationship/friends with benefits with anyone you want.. When people ask a guy, "what do you have in common with her?"(the 21 yr old waitress) men and women don't have much in common even if they're the same age! we don't HAVE to have anything in common! My parents WERE 10 years apart. he was 28, she 18, they care about the family! ( Very little in common.. Who cares?? silly...Do you really think that my mom was 'manipulated' 'unfairly'.. traumatized by that? really? If you think so, please explain why.... You'd think that people that agree with me that abortion/birth control should be legal, and that women don't have to have kids at all, would be more flexible/enlightened on the age thing as well, Debate me on that.

[@jz372]

The average age gap between couples is 2.5 years. Facts don't care about your feelings.

[@doglover-zo2us]

@@jz372 Of course the AVERAGE gap between couples IS 2.5 years. I NEVER said otherwise. I was not disputing the 'facts.. Men often choose a woman within 2.5 years of him because most of us don't have the guts to seek an age gap relationship. The fact that most relationships are close to the same age doesn't mean that they are happy. People(men) will pick same-age relationships out of desperation, not wanting to be rejected and alone. Not because 'facts don't care about my feelings'.,.. I never claimed that these facts were different than they are. I never claimed that the average couple is 30 years apart..

[@jz372]

@@doglover-zo2us Here is another fact for you: the greater the age difference between the couples, the greater the odds of them getting divorced. Multiple studies about this... You seem to want to apply your personal opinion without any fact and yet the bigger age gap, the bigger chance the divorce... I mean you seem to be triggered and refuse to accept that people might not think like you and your parent as much as you want. You can't just say that the reason why people choose a small age gap is because most people don't have the guts without facts to support it and yet we have studies that prove the bigger the age gap the less happy these couples end up to be. It does not mean your parents are unhappy and they don't love each other, but come on, you have to see the world from outside your bubble and realize not everyone think like you and your parents. According to the stats, not many do...

[@doglover-zo2us]

@@jz372 I'm not in favor of marriage and kids to begin with. Lifetime marriage? why? All relationships eventually end..Even So many same-age marriages end in divorce also.. I'm not opposed to divorce, at all.. Even most divorced people I know are ok friends with their spouse.. They just got bored with living with the same person 365 days a year, and they wanted variety..Men want to hook up. Men want to get laid. Just like Tom Leykis... And Leo Dicaprio. hollywood stars..So men will Not be 'happy' with a middle-aged woman. It goes against our nature.. (unless he's looking for emotional intimacy, and not physical intimacy (and maybe not even then).. Men and women don't want the same thing..Women want protection, and provision, money from a man. Men want physical attraction, from a woman. It has been that way since Adam and Eve were in the garden.. Instinct, god, and nature didn't lie to us..I'm not mad that Hugh Hefner paid big money, to be with supermodels till he died. I understand him.. That is why so many of us favored birth control, and abortion. God wanted us to be fruitful and mutiply, he didn't think it was a sin if age gaps were 25 years difference. I am a sinner, with god since I haven't been multiplying. Everyone does fall short of god;s glory, though. Two examples though,: A beaten-down working-class guy working in a coal-mine with black lung diseases, whose wife became neurotic. Leo Dicaprio with smiles, on a fling with a supermodel. Which road did most of us want? In one rich household, the guy has an affair with a secretary, and the wife has an affair with the pool-boy, he is handsome after all. I understand both people, though cheating is not good. How could their marriage last? Aging saddens a person, leaving them crying buckets of tears, a loss of innocence, and hoping to get that youth back!

[@kenm1107]

there's two opinions on the issue: egalitarians who don't care, and feminists who think it's only gross when the man is the older one

[@kamilareeder1493]

Its complicated, because sometimes I feel like guys get encouraged to accept sexual advances from older women. Like as if they should be happy about it. So I think its our job as adult women to not reinforce that dynamic with our sons, bro friends, students, and relatives. Yah know ?

[@bryonstevenson4205]

Rollo Tommassi

[@juliafraa6419]

Umm no. It doesnt matter who is older. It's always wrong to prey on young people with undeveloped brains and very little experience in the world.

[@juliafraa6419]

@@kamilareeder1493 yes this is a huge problem sadly

[@bryonstevenson4205]

@@juliafraa6419 And who are you to determine if the older person intentions? second if a man is 33 and he likes a girl that is 20 or 23 who are you to determine his intent and what moral law did he break?js

[@alanamontero4743]

I don't have a big problem with age gap relationships at older ages. But older people going after very young people, especially teenagers, I do have a problem with. I think there are some exceptions - some very young people are quite mature for their age due to a combination of inner factors and life experiences, such as, for example, death of a parent and having to take on a caretaker and breadwinner role - but this is uncommon. I also have a problem with older men pursuing and/or harassing younger women when they've expressed no interest, something that almost every woman has to deal with, for many of us on a constant basis. I do have a problem with those who obsessively go after much younger women and never anyone close to their own age; this is a major red flag to me and quite different from someone who just happens to end up in a relationship with a much younger person.

[@tedmccarron]

It's no more of a "red flag" than black guys consistently going for white girls (which is VERY common). It's simply a preference.

[@alanamontero4743]

@@tedmccarron Hmmm...your KZbin channel is further confirmation of my opinion. It was everything I expected and less.

[@tedmccarron]

@@alanamontero4743 said the woman who hides her own KZbin content. There is nothing in any of my videos that confirms anything you said, you're just sort of talking out of your rear end.

[@alanamontero4743]

@@tedmccarron I don't have any KZbin content to hide. Most people don't because we haven't created any content. Do you not know how KZbin works? If I created content, it would be public. It is interesting that that's what you focused on....Anyway, I'm not going to waste my time on a gross, creepy, bitter old man who thinks leftie boogeymen are out to get him and who, for some reason, feels that he needs to come to a stranger's KZbin channel in order to defend toxic behaviour and sexual predators. I feel sorry for you and any woman who has the misfortune of having to deal with you on a regular basis. I'm so glad the men in my family are honourable and would never act like you. I can be proud of them. As parting advice, I suggest becoming a man that your family can be proud of. Not defending creepy sexual predators (or being one) would be a good start. Another suggestion is getting a life and not coming to small KZbin channels to have a whinge because you're offended by the mere notion of being a good man with integrity..

[@idontgiveafaboutyou]

@@tedmccarron making it about race now aren’t we? Sounds pretty lefty except it’s about black men instead of white men. As I remember, any man can go after younger women. Go take that race card somewhere else.

[@activatekruger446]

Literally nothing wrong with a large age gap. This is just more man-shaming.

[@tedmccarron]

Amen!

[@juliafraa6419]

Cool so you see nothing wrong with essentially preying on children. Thanks for calling yourselves out.

[@activatekruger446]

@@juliafraa6419 18+ isn’t children, weirdo.

[@juliafraa6419]

@@activatekruger446 their brain development is not finished yet. In comparison to a 40 year old yes they are a child. Development happens gradually and does not finish until 25 years old. Under that age you are still particularly vulnerable to abusive dynamics so should not date anyone much older than you for your own safety. This goes for young men and women. Half my 18th year I was in high school. Did I have as much power as an adult with a job and their own apartment who had been out in the world for 20 years? Absolutely not. They could easily manipulate me. And that's the reason they want to date a little immature 18 year old. Anyone wanting an equal partner is disgusted by that dynamic. Those defending it...I can explain why it's wrong. But you know why. You are 40. You remember being 18. You know the difference between those ages. If I have to explain it to you it's because you already know its creepy and you 1. Dont care or 2. That's why you want to date them.

[@activatekruger446]

@@juliafraa6419 Spare us the wall of text and just admit you’re a jealous post-wall female who can’t compete with younger women.

[@louisbutler7209]

I agree and disagree with you. The power goes both ways. Not all older men seek younger women, because sometimes younger women seek older men. And we can also flip the age roles as well, male for female to address the cougars. Also, not all people are controlling like you’re suggesting. Notice your focus is the power of the man over the woman. I do like your closing statements though. No I’m not in an age gap relationship, but have witnessed a few…good and bad.

[@idontgiveafaboutyou]

They make it seem like younger women don’t like older men when a lot of them do. As for age gap relationships ending badly, that can be any relationship.

[@giuliapiperea]

Women go for older guys to have the control and the power . Because they are so scared that they will leave them for someone younger after they get more mature that they date their old men to be sure 😂😂😂

[@giuliapiperea]

@@idontgiveafaboutyou they are very insecure or hungry for money for this reason exactly they go for older men to have the power 😊 is because they are so scared of competition that they will date their dad to be sure they have the power you know 😅

[@giuliapiperea]

@@idontgiveafaboutyou because guys of their age have a lot of more options prettier girls … but the old man will be so happy knowing you’re so much younger than him 😂 so will not matter that much how hot you look because this kinda of predatory ego maniac men idolises so much youth 😅 MEN WANT TO IMPRESSS OTHER MEN SO THEY GET A TROPHY WIFE BECAUSE MEN ARE SEEKING VALIDATION FROM OTHER MEN NOT FROM THE WOMENS. Omg 😂

[@josedanielrodriguez1126]

I know a couple with a 44 year age gap, they have been together for 20 years. They treat each other well. The life stile is what keep them together

[@okaycola2]

That is a nightmare

[@taylorchan]

This was so good, Brad.

[@RealFeelsProject]

Taylor! First off - I fucking miss you, dude. And second - thanks for checking it out. I'm trying to be as fair-minded and non-judgmental about this as I can while also bringing up systems that manipulate women. Hope you're doing well. Loved seeing your singing chops in the last WF vid

[@sandoristar7597]

Large age gap relationships is a "thing" because most women over 35 with a kid cannot find men. Besides that you are looking the topic from the women's side only.

[@bryonstevenson4205]

Preach

[@marlinshanklin-ww7em]

Feels gross to who ?

[@stvinney]

Yeah Seinfeld is full of shit He dates the hot young ones because he can. And just because you can doesn't mean you should There's no animosity here either. It's just wrong. He knows it and that's why he's making up stupid shit excuses like "Im not a racist"

[@lander77477]

whats wrong about it

[@partialwonder1311]

You make some good points here, but ultimately these women are making their own decision to get involved with an older man and become a part of their world. In almost all cases, the older man has a lot of financial resources that they want access to.

[@noseymemaw842]

exactly or they would be hanging with the men with just an average income also, where is all those love stories, yes its the money honey, the majority of these 20 year olds are entitled, uneducated, lazy, dont have a job and dont want to get a job, its easier lowering or losing their morals, so theyre looking for quick wealth in rich old horny men, so they see its an even trade off they just have to fake a few orghasms, basically daily lie to the old dude of her undying love and soulmate crap stories for a few years maybe not that long, til he croaks and she see her financial plan paying off when she makes off with his life insurance/savings, his kids college and the money he stole from his former wife during his divorce to pursue this fantasy porn life come true, its actually sad.

[@giuliapiperea]

Yes exactly for me the women are the 70% the issue because they go for old men to have the control and power they crave . They are so insecure that they will be left when they will grow older that they date their dad to be sure 😂 they are very control freaks and women who go for older men are very highly narcissistic and manipulative to.

[@Wthhhhhhhhhhhh1]

i met my current boyfriend when i was 19 he was 35. now i’m 22 hes 38. we are very happy together and plan on getting married soon, his age is just a number to me. plus he looks 10 years younger so it looks like little difference between us, i just could never take a man who is in his 20s seriously 😊even early 30s..,

[@MicJackson58]

Lol of course he looks younger, a lot of y'all say that. And this seems fake anyway.

[@MicJackson58]

And you were only 22, probably still is 22 so what makes you think you were fully developed in the brain? Are you saying you're mature at 22? I'm pretty there's dudes at 22 or 23 mature like you, if you were saying you're mature. You could be under 25 but still be mature but that's not in most people under 25. You just gave up so quick and just went for somebody that's MATURE MATURE just because he's in his mid to late 30s. Sooo who are you 🙄

[@Wthhhhhhhhhhhh1]

@@MicJackson58 i’m 23 now, trust me most men my age are not mature at all and have no idea what they want, that’s why i’m only attracted to older men. i’ve never met a guy my age who actually knows what he wants like I do

[@MicJackson58]

@@Wthhhhhhhhhhhh1 You can stop with the bullshit excuses. You don't know every guy your age, you ain't met all guys your age, you just gave up. You don't sound like a real woman where you will give the immature guy a chance.

[@harisfareed4599]

Go for it bestie, don't listen to haters. However look for red flags if he's tryna parentify or control you otherwise I'm happy for you SLAY 💅🏻

[@AMF96]

Is a 30 year old guy dating a 18 year old girl wrong? I think the age gap might feel a bit weird and significant at first but if the relationship lasted, by the time the guy is say 38-40 and she is 26-28 I think the age gap would be less of a concern over time.. any thoughts?

[@jeffreyd508]

I'm 48, and my long term gf is 23, but I feel that other guys who do that are gross..........true story btw

[@tedmccarron]

Well at least you recognized your hypocrisy now try to curtail it and realize the guys are no worse than you are.

[@jeffreyd508]

@Chris Rich Good thing we don't need your permission. BTW, no one here was even thinking of exploiting children but YOU. Get your mind off of sick things with kids you freak. Keep that kiddie stuff off this thread, I'm serious. It's not welcome here

[@sarahrobertson634]

You're disgusting.

[@Cousinbiddy1]

@@tedmccarronnope he’s just an idiot and so r u

[@kkorova]

My parents have a 21 year old gap and trust me, that was a BAD BAD decision 😂😂😂

[@deedrajoy17]

i was 28 when i met my current boyfriend who was 66 at the time. We hung out for two months and i fell hard for him. weve been together 5 years now and i never want a different guy!! i didnt know his age in the beginning but i thought he was like 50 something at the time and i was ok with that. but then i got curious so i asked him his age and it was like no fucking way i didnt believe him and i made him show me his id.... i still dont believe it and he defenitly doesnt look his age or act it. he gets told all the time even by his close friends they cant believe he is his age. hes very active and even outlasts me in bed!!!! Its so crazy tho cuz my mom is the same age as him!! she had me when sje was 39 so thats the age gap between us. all growing up my parents were older than all my friends parents age like my parents were my friends grandparents ages.... it bothers me a little but ive gotten used to it but guys my age are pitiful compared to him! we have so much in commom and have a great relationship. weve argued a couple times but he is so good for me and is the best boyfirned i couldnt of dreampt or asked for a better guy. I definitely learned age is just a number!

[@GBU61]

I am 62 and my woman is 25! Best relationship I have ever had and she appreciates me unlike all the women in my age range. The key element in this relationship is we live in Latin America where it is a man’s world and women understand how to be women. Do I expect it to last…no! But as long as we are happy I will continue to be with her.

[@penguinvic9892]

Missing from this is the female game plan (applicable to any age, but young women are much better at it than men). 1/ Attract attention of target (i.e. smiling, being close by, flirting). 2/ Be useful (works best in a service industry like a café or at work or a social club) 3/ Recruit target for pet projects. (i.e. get target to check over a letter for any errors) 4/ Begin to organise target (invite target to say, a theatre production they are involved in) 5/ Initiate very person discussions, etc. When I was a middle aged man in my 30s and early 40s I was amazed at how adept quite young women were at doing this … and before you knew it you were rapidly down the path of friendship or a relationship simply because you had been organised into it.

[@aaachriamahoe9928]

Women don't love you because you created this video.

[@SelfieStickAdventures]

This dude wears his seat belt while walking around in public

[@mobilemcsmarty1466]

when my gf is less than half my age there's nothing "gross" about it. we're having love and fun as consenting adults. what's gross is **you** thinking you have some kind of influence where you don't belong. in the place you wish you were, we revel in your disapproval 🏝😎💃🍸

[@BadAssNigga95]

Nope sir you are part of the problem.

[@okaycola2]

Is she a mail order bride?

[@brutusmaximus5380]

Large age gap relationship are natural. There's an old French saying that the proper age of a woman for a man to marry is half his age plus 7. This is especially true when you consider a woman's fertility window is very short. Also in this day and age all countries are facing a depopulation problem brought on by malthusian economics and scarcity economics. We don't have enough newborns to replace our aging and retiring employees. A nation's GDP suffers when we don't have enough people to run the country. If this happens, the nation will have to depend on an immigrant population. So this idea that large age gap relationships are gross is a bad idea. What we should be fostering are successful responsible men who have the financial ability to house a harem of women. The Chinese screwed up when they limited the number of children a couple should have. Now they are raising that limit because they are facing a largely economic problem, not enough people working to fuel the economy. Same in the United States.

[@samariam3043]

I think it’s just comes down to sexual attraction and sexual preference. I don’t think it’s as deep as biological as much as it is optical and sensory.

[@lander77477]

it is biological. Women biologically seek safety and security, and a mate who can impregnate her, and provide for her. Men seek out beauty, and youth because younger women are more fertile and likely to produce healthy children. Its all biological

[@josefstalin9678]

I think the biggest parts are definitely the intent and the age they met at. While age gaps in general can have issues, I think youre far more likely to run into those issues if youre dating someone *because* theyre younger. If a 25 year old and 40 year old genuinely love eachother, Id still find it weird, but not bad (unless they started seeing eachother when the 25 year old was even younger, like still a teen). On the other hand, someone who is 50 exclusively dating young women and breaking up with them when they get "too old" (which is generally before 30 for these kind of people) is pretty much just using them for their body and the "bragging rights" before they move on to the next person. Theres also something to be said about the "legal age limit". People say "as long as theyre both consenting adults" but those people never consider that different countries have different ages for that sort of thing. Is a 50 year old dating a 14 year old morally ok because its legal in some places? Or is it only morally ok in those places? Do legality and morality always go hand in hand? When I see someone who's older chasing after 18 and 19 year old girls, I cant help but wonder if theyd chase 15-16 year old girls if it werent illegal for them to do so. A specific example I always think of is how Steven Tyler of the band Aerosmith paid a woman a sum of money in exchange for guardianship of her 14 year old daughter, who he started dating and later married when she turned 18.

[@Breakfastststst]

Nah it doer feel gross at all unless it’s like more than 25 or something it’s just makes people jealous

[@FreddieAllan-h3g]

I'm 65 ...dating 2x 25 year Olds .. ...my last wife was 15 years younger ...she died in a car at 38 ... 20/12/2012 ..

[@snörre23]

First - i never wanted children. 55 now, been looking for a partner my age for the last ten years. In vain, dates were a desaster, i thought that i am a average mid 40s guy but the dates felt like i was twenty and dating someone the generation of my mother telling me stories out of a whole different universe. I have no idea who would be my match. The person i am in that 55 year old body is basically the same than early 20s, 15 on good days, i have nothing in common with a "mature" woman, mother, grandmother, typical 50 year old. I just want someone to love, no children, roles, duties.

[@bekahnavarro]

My best friend was married to a man 15 yrs older than her. I was initially worried for her. He was young at heart and an absolute sweetheart. I've never seen 2 more compatible people in my life. They stayed together until his death.

[@IamBarati]

You have big problems if you don't realize that 55 is old. If you still think you're 20 you need help

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@bekahnavarro I'm sure she enjoyed changing his diaper.

[@sarahrobertson634]

You're nasty, and will not find anyone.

[@bekahnavarro]

@@sarahrobertson634 He died in his 60s. No diapers.

[@WhiteLily44]

I don't like it from a practical sense. She is a 20 year old mail order bride and doesn't speak English. He is 50, he's not a millionaire, heart attacks happen. Who will look after her and the kids in later years?

[@penguinvic9892]

Well, yes, but good health is not a given. This I reminded a young woman at work who mocked me for having a much younger GF. Her same age boyfriend then had a brain aneurysm, and almost drowned in the shower. She was much more circumspect towards me after that (and I was circumspect enough not to bring the subject up again).

[@Nyxthebat04]

Age gap relationships are so fucking gross and predatory. The truth is, the older partner (usually a man) knows this, but tries to justify it to themselves.

[@SweetSkies478]

Exactly. Humans aren’t fully developed neurologically until roughly 25 years of age. Someone below that age has very little to no adulthood experience, much less economic stability compared to someone middle age and beyond

[@lander77477]

What is gross or predatory about it. Please give a logical answer

[@banjomechanic]

This is one of the few remaining relationship topics we can criticize with little outrage.

[@kamui9566]

So many people in this comment section need to learn to mind their own business.

[@gamma21285]

Yes

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Keep desiring potential incests then

[@CrazyFai]

this video is so good!

[@thaneknight]

18 to 19 is too much of a child.That's a senior high school student.I want a girlfriend or wife not to raise a daughter which for me would end up being a part of the relationship. Of course it's the individuals that are the biggest factor.

[@armorbearer9702]

(16:05) So at what age does this development complete? Would our persona fully develop when we reach 30, 40,or 50?

[@kathyhansen2820]

Men, in general, find young women more attractive...period.

[@edp3202]

Sex I get. A successful relationship? 🤔

[@kathyhansen2820]

I've noticed that attractive young women don't marry poor old men but rich ones yes. So I figure if the guy knows he's paying for it and the young woman is ok with the setup no problem. I do find it rather pathetic if the old guy really believes he's a stud. I suppose people have different definitions of what a successful relationship is. As long as both parties are honest with each other and more importantly honest with themselves I figure whatever floats their boats. @@edp3202

[@StuJones-gn7te]

And younger women tend to be less demanding, more enthusiastic, gentler and have less baggage. When the presenter speaks of experience, he means baggage, even if he doesn't know it.

[@lilydiallo594]

@@StuJones-gn7te yes, until they empty your bank account and leave!☹️☹️☹️

[@StuJones-gn7te]

If I had any money, it would be well hidden.