Why Men Deeply Desire Women Who Do THIS (Outside The Bedroom)

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Naked Divorce/Naked Recovery nakeddivorce.com/?ref=jonathonaslay Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows

[@Gigi-c3h]

Jonathon, please Say ""slept together"" helps people not to be embarrassed. 🎉

[@laurienoltimier5490]

😊😊

[@laurienoltimier5490]

😊😊

[@joleenjaremczuk9403]

My 28 year old daughter told me---if you're wearing rose colored glasses red flags become just flags. LOL

[@QuiteContrary14]

That should be on a tee-shirt, or, everywhere.

[@carmadariacompaniona4181]

1. Do his actions match his words? 2. Does he have a generous, kind, grateful spirit about him? (or resting b*tchface) 3. Does he communicate clearly without wanting to be right? 4. Does he have his act together? (or issues at work, personal life, drugs, etc.) 5. Has he healed from his past relationships and has he done some introspection on his life? 6. Is he protective and empathetic toward his partner? 7. Is he trainable? (Most men are - those with emotional maturity and those who genuinely want a relationship. NOT those interested in a transactional relationship and are stuck in their insecurities. Guys who deep down want a committed relationship will be open.) If there's a huge disparity in levels of growth, there'll be huge drama. Your negative beliefs are sabotaging your love life. 8. Does he have good role models??? 9. Is he clear about what he wants out of the relationship? Great points. I might just share this video with my ex-boyfriend.... :-)

[@kathymc1273]

Trainable is one thing, but trying to change a man is a recipe for disaster.

[@suzanne2680]

“When two vulnerable people enter into a relationship, they have the makings for a successful, happy relationship.” Indeed! ☺️

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@dawncrawford9159]

Men have the INSTINCT to spread their seed . No surprises ALL men cheat 💯

[@shelbyedwards605]

How does a woman get a man who clearly wants to be in a relationship with her to be honest, open and vulnerable? He was vulnerable with me in the beginning but then developed this way of behaving like a “typical man” focused on my looks and constantly talking sexy talk to me 😢I know he is a good man. I’ve seen it, felt it and we have been there before… but he built a wall and I can’t seem to connect anymore and now he has a transactional mentality. 💔

[@elipotter369]

​@shelbyedwards605 he may have been faking it - the love bombing phase to get you hooked. Or - he may have felt too vulnerable or his mates ridiculed him or your behaviour wasn't sensitive enough or inadvertently bothered him or you're being too pushy, or it just got exhausting - and falling back on a stereotype is easier and is socially acceptable to the macho world.

[@jodaisy113]

@suzanne2680 … especially when there’s chemistry 😍

[@SuzieQ7983]

Jonathan, I’m really trying to learn from you. This is sinking in and I value your thoughts. I make notes of what I believe to be gems from you. I feel I’m on the verge of giving up but want to believe there are some decent guys out there!

[@Leila2023_]

i totally relate to the first woman on the call... i have 2 kids, it's 3 years since the split. my oldest kid is 11, she's told me that she doesn't want to have other people living in the house. sure, all her friends parents are divorced. she also sees how bad it is for her friends who are forced to live with step siblings who they hate and annoying step parents. I'm not doing that to my kids. if i meet a man our relationship is private, and or they usually stay in the friend zone anyway. i have enough going on with my kids... once they leave home it will be a new chapter.

[@americafirst9144]

Don't count on it. Men your age will be going after the 26 year olds.

[@Leila2023_]

@@americafirst9144 you'd be surprised... I'm in france. most of the men who show me interest now are my age or younger!!! i actually like older men :)

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing 🙏

[@michellem8284]

I found myself single when my daughter was almost 3. I did not bring men into our lives, choosing to wait until she was grown. So, here I am, now trying to find someone special at 60 years old. It is hard, and if I am unsuccessful, I am fine with that. I do not regret my decision for one second and she, as a mother herself, appreciates the decision and sacrifice I made all those years ago.

[@Leila2023_]

I'm fine with being single too@@michellem8284 my mum did the same for us, she didn't force any other men or kids on to us after she divorced and i am actually happy that she made that sacrifice for us. she was happy enough single and so am i...

[@janetcarrier313]

I would never have a relationship with a man that my daughter didn't like. No one needs a step person in their life that makes things worse. Divorce is too painful for everyone and adding another person in the former spouses place can be much too problematic.

[@ValerieJ.Marshall]

I have a vulnerable male been talking 9 months to physical intimacy just a hug. He is amazing- he is my best friend.

[@jodaisy113]

Mmm .. happy for you … I have one of those … but he and I’s hugs are few and far between, living two states apart 😕

[@ValerieJ.Marshall]

Thank you we are in different states too!😊

[@renette0506]

Good session, Jonathon. We are continually learning.

[@Connectionclip]

Any man I have met has always been vulnerable they loved being around me and opening up. They longed to tell me things they never spoke. And once they feel accepted and understood they let out everything inside and free themselves of some of their baggage

[@estherdistefano6997]

Where are these men?

[@patriciabriscoe5069]

I love getting dressed up, putting jewelry and makeup for going out with a man. I just like to look my best and feel comfortable. I have no expectations from “him” and will realize if he’s put his best self forward.

[@michellem8284]

The dating "advice" about "talking yourself into something" was spot-on. Thanks! I do a lot of "talking myself into" meeting some guys, and it's true, I'm always right the first time. Thanks for pointing it out!

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@TeaRose9]

Yes, yesss I too am so fascinated with observing and learning everything about human behavior. And yes laughter is the medicine.

[@ginam.4990]

This was another great pod. I like that you share your own personal vulnerabilities. Thank you for your time and how passionate you are with your work here.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you so much!

[@RoseMoke]

I have faith .I trust my lord

[@chirokathleen]

Thank you for teaching those who are willing to have the important/serious conversations up front in new relationships! It’s usually up to us women to do that and we do a lot to perpetuate negative, stale behaviors when we don’t. Let’s step it up!

[@vickivail1000]

Jonathon is so down to earth and absolutely hilarious Teaching is on point, thank you!

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe. . Thank you 😊

[@shirleykelley8871]

Never try to change a man he set his ways

[@melissajenniferjones9959]

Hugs to everyone! 🧸🫂

[@cherylackerman3411]

Regarding the woman whose boyfriend had small children… He may have a need for childcare… I ended up in my relationship being the nanny! Best to wait or commit and blend

[@JustSomeUser12]

Someone once told me if the glass looks half empty, go get a smaller glass and pour it in that one, now it's over half full.

[@JonathonAslay]

Love this quote... 😀

[@Sherryyahoo]

Yes, always look at a glass half full instead of empty. 💕🦋

[@lindahasko7252]

I agree with what you said about a transactional relationship. I don’t think my husband ever learned in 48 years of marriage how to be vulnerable. So sad. Made getting intimately close impossible, at least for me. I’m pretty much wide open, he was very closed up, locked up emotionally. Men are complicated. 15:01

[@lindahasko7252]

I should have written with better clarity; I meant it made getting intimately close in conversation impossible, but I’m sure you got it. 😄

[@tiffanytalavera4561]

I agree. I am not in transactional mode anymore. Being single is nice now. 😸

[@robinpehle9723]

I agree with that! I want the emotional connection, long term relationship. Yes and an emotionally mature man. Thank you!

[@claudiakanyembo5949]

True,true,we're trying to adapt, you really hitting the ground, Much appreciated

[@gladysgaspar1694]

"Transactional relationship" ...so true this is happening, Jonathan

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@denisesmith8657]

I’ve been vulnerable in this new connection I’m in but he’s keeping me at arm’s length. He really doesn’t seem like he wants to let me in. I can’t make him want to open up. All the vulnerability in the world won’t make a difference if the other person won’t be open. Can’t force or control anyone but myself. So frustrating.

[@jennifersinatra5743]

Same. He's scared and told me..he just ended it but wants to be friends as he cannot imagine life without me in it...well, my heart is broken because I made the goal to be vulnerable. Hang in there and consider holding back and mirror his arms lengthness.

[@denisesmith8657]

@@jennifersinatra5743 ouch! I’m sorry. That hurts. You and I both will have to be strong…

[@susancottenham]

🎉I agree ~ learning so much by listening to your videos! ☆Character☆

[@angelamartin1147]

I watch your videos several times per week. Thank you for another great video. I’m learning so much!

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you 😊

[@kimking3909]

I agree. No boring transactional relationships.

[@christinebeames712]

People change, only when it is in their interest to do so

[@Rett-qv7ti]

Listening to you has helped me feel even better about my decision to NOT continue to date anyone. I’m Divorced, dated 2 men 1+ year (both wanted to marry), and I enjoyed online dating in between . I realized I was enjoying connecting with myself post marriage -and the men were responding favorably to that and I was responding to how they were responding to me! They were kinda riding on my emotional work coattails.

[@janebraun4482]

IF you are experienced with online dating, what should one expect. Mine refuses to 'call' me, and, he is overseas. Says I love you and all that but never really shares much. In this case I know about him for he has some notoriety or fame, but still. Do online daters not call?

[@BonnieBluebird]

@@janebraun4482 Be wary. Should do a video chat with no excuses. If he won't, there's a reason.

[@HapillyMe]

​@@janebraun4482it depends on the person and their values. I'm talking to a guy online who calls, andl I met others online who just text. The good ones call!

[@karenduncan100]

I just discovered you last night. Wow!! You are so on point. Thank you for doing these videos.

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@karenduncan100]

@@JonathonAslay ❤️

[@karenoyama8950]

I believe it was Edgar Casey, who said, “ mind is the builder “. Look’s also fade in a man, but, his mind does not! A beautiful mind wins my heart always. ❤

[@karenklos9022]

You’re being so sensible, good to hear. I went through a dating introductory agency and so far so good.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you 😊

[@Connectionclip]

I disagree with transactional on first date I’ve had men ask me to pay half the first date but have paid everything subsequently, I’ve had men spend upwards of $1000 on a first date just for dinner they were my culture-Indian, most spend $150-200 on a nice dinner I always offer to help, I always offer to pay tip except for that $1000 one and they always refuse. I don’t expect anything, they take me to places I frequent on my own. 98% are generous. I haven’t been with stingy on a date. The men that ask me to pay half I believe are testing my willingness and attitude to make sure I’m not interested in money. My family has money and im not without money, I’m not interested in their money. However I’ve started at the bottom and married and helped two men become high value. I’m older at this point a man has to be at a certain level I can’t start over. But I’m super generous I pay for dates I invite them places I buy gifts and surprise them too. I put as much effort as them.

[@Sherryyahoo]

I don’t believe a man is stingy if he doesn’t pay for your meal.💕🦋Kudos to you for contributing

[@karenplumley7209]

Jonathon, you make me feel so much better about my "rescuer" mentality, knowing that I'm not the only one that thinks they can fix a man. I'm working on it by following my passions and taking care of myself instead. Thank you for your honest and straightforward approach, and your great sense of humor.

[@MaryDeWester-ot9ft]

Your kind honesty is really so shoring up. Thank you!

[@PATH918]

I watch all these program s and i figure out 1.women are more vulnerable in the relationship 2.women try to face the problems but men are just escaping from problem situation 3.Women are victim of our own successful and we spoiled men too much and we should stop spoil those guys who don't deserve our attention 4.Soon the guys need Jonathan's help and ask the questions how women think about them and how they should please the women in stead 😢😢😢

[@marciahershkowitz4823]

You’re wonderful! I enjoy your talks!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you so much!

[@evettejohnson1180]

Yes it’s a fun side of listening in on your advice. Love the way you conduct..😊

[@deb2319]

One of your BEST!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks ☺️

[@TeaRose9]

Agreed!! I was going to say this too. 💯

[@karenduncan100]

I've been binge watching your videos. Great information that I wish I had learned years ago. Going forward, I plan to implement this information if I ever become involved another relationship.

[@JonathonAslay]

Best of luck!

[@lindabanes3434]

Thank you very much Johnaton Asley great learning 🎉

[@carlabrotherton7197]

We gotta be on the right path, we are doing everything Jonathan you have described . I'm excited and we've not added the icing on the cake. He keeps saying when I'm ready . He's respectful. I'm afraid to let go afraid of getting hurt again. I was married 27 ,and have been divorced for 4 years now. I'm just afraid. I know that's why I've not added the icing on our cake. How do I let go of this deep fear of being hurt again.

[@Sunlightsam24]

When I was in a position like you, I decided to lead with trust in life ❤

[@christinemurolo5285]

JA you seem back to your Original Self I'm so happy to hear you laughing again. 😊 all your shows are great 👍

[@bellabriggs1393]

Every single relationship is a transaction !!!!

[@user-yz4ie4iz5e]

Yeah every gender has struggles with vulnerability. I no longer buy it that men are “ conditioned “ to be violent. As a female I’m so tired of hearing all this and how it’s my job to carry a relationship in every way, plus look sexy, be independent in my own life yet perfect fit a man at the same time. It’s just convincing me to be single!!!

[@deb2319]

INDEED.Two Givers Is A High Frequenency..🎉🎉

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Joy-mm3cz]

As a woman, I was having a hard time trying to figure out what each of the ladies were asking. Men need the bullet points and cliff notes versions FIRST. I work with many men. I know this from my many years in the workplace.

[@IH1606]

"We paint red flags green and abandon our standards because someone likes us." 😂 lmao

[@DorothyPrater-w5l]

I agree either way that!

[@Mb-yn9zp]

Why is correct! Why not just look for an evolved man? Not my job to make him right.

[@CharlesBaxter-s7g]

True Love ❤️ has no conditions but the Real World has an Order👁⚘️

[@Angeliccooke]

There was a woman single mother of two who died very recently who went to a retreat and had mushrooms and died. BE VERY CAREFUL....

[@bonnygoldberg5852]

Hi Jonathan I agree with you Blessings to you

[@kimking3909]

Jonathan, I’d like to see a list of “what makes a man a douchebag?”…pointing out most things to keep away from. I literally had to look it up on urban dictionary today.

[@JonathonAslay]

Actions not making words. Making promises and not keeping them. Focused on sex and not your heart.

[@karenrich]

I agree with you about what a transactional relationship is. I am definitely not looking for that, I'm looking for a secure (trustful) and vulnerable partner and I will be both as well. That's the connection I'm waiting to find with someone who's also looking for the same. A transactional relationship can't be permanent because what happens when you have nothing left they want and vice versa?

[@zenithflower4892]

I agree with that, jonathan. We will trap into transactional relationship if we behave like that.

[@2013december]

You’re so funny. And on point.

[@LoriPHarris]

This was so good Jonathon, thank you. Love your insight, makes things really clear.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree on the transactional relationships. I ask men what they're grateful for. Also what their greatest life acheivement is. If they hate change or are resistant to it. I let them go. Youre right on emotional maturity, and men with healthy relationships in their lives. Its easy to meet men organically. Self control is powerful and freedom.

[@Rett-qv7ti]

That pic you showed looked professional and retouched. What if you don’t want to spend the money for photo and instead post a realistic photo? I wouldn’t want to have to live up to that photo! isn’t it good to let them be pleasantly surprised when they meet you?

[@estherdistefano6997]

Johnathan you are right!

[@darritaking]

I’m a fairly New subscriber, and I’m so happy I found u❣️ You are such a knowledgeable Wonderful Person, you are teaching me so much, most of what I completely agree on❣️ I hv taken notes from this. THANK U❣️ God Bless ❣️🙏🏽

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for subbing!

[@flowersroses4430]

I agree about "a transactional relationship"

[@hortenseross5338]

JONATHON, YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT!!!!! SAY IT LOUD!!!! AND AGAIN!!!!!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Will do... 🌞

[@kickingfox8183]

Question, after thought. Watching replay... Do you think humans tend to be addicted to mess, their emotional state. Humans tend to create situations to continue stress or their own mess, hell, self-sabotage... Etc

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes I do

[@VivianMacDonald-p8o]

I find you hilarious funny Jonathon ❤your bear hugs. Great advice straight to the point l like that.

[@spirituallheart]

I know how you feel, I've been a parent in my relationship but Mushroom has helped me grow out of all my tramas so I'm now open for something new.

[@VivianMacDonald-p8o]

Jonathon you are hilariously funny ❤your 🐻 hugs so cute and a crazy sense of humour 😂😂

[@Gigi-c3h]

Joy is really joyful🎉

[@aquaram1111]

I would caution women, not to equate“trainable” with “mashing him into what you want”

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed 😁

[@tanaayotte]

Jonathan I agree with you

[@shirleykelley8871]

You right

[@laureenquattrini7160]

Let the training commence!

[@minnierose15]

Good evening Jonathon, I recently found you and have watched a few videos, you are very informative and i thank you for that as a woman of 60 it is hard to Jump into the dating seen i have been single for 3 years( also no sex) and I've been divorced for almost 20.i have watched other podcasts and I'm really trying to understand the male mind..i just subscribed and look forward to many more videos, i especially loved this one and all your viewers questions. Plus you are strait and direct and also have a great sence of humour. Keep the videos comming💯❤🙌

[@claudiakanyembo5949]

I really like that!!!we have more transactional relationship out there!!Jonathan it's really true.we're not looking for a really encounter which is to connect on soul's level!!!

[@christinagaetano4756]

So glad to hear you laugh like your old jolly self !! :)

[@mercedesescoto628]

Jonathan you are right on point.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks ☺️

[@rabeccakamwande5699]

It makes sense

[@blasebaker]

Great show.

[@RoseMoke]

I really appreciate your hard working

[@jenniferlynrose]

The dad figure comment is right on. We need our dads. I didn’t speak to him for 4 years. I found it in me to forgive him. He committed suicide a couple years after we reconnected. I’m glad I was able to forgive him before he passed.

[@karenoyama8950]

I can understand that men want a knowledgeable female. Hopefully this isn’t too shocking, but I also want a man to be knowledgeable! A good mind is extremely attractive!

[@JonathonAslay]

Knowledge in what area?

[@anotherwon9987]

Absolutely agree 💯!!

[@kathleengimlin8144]

Yes I am understanding.

[@PATH918]

SHOULD teach men how understand women and i noticed 99%programs are TEACH WOMEN to understand men why like that😢?

[@VivianMacDonald-p8o]

Jonathon l actually agree with ❤it

[@rabeccakamwande5699]

I agree with you Jonathan

[@MirnaEJiron]

It’s amazing but that is exactly what I’ve been telling the person that I deeply love. But I don’t want a transactional relationship. I wanted deeper and connected relationship, through the good times, and the bad times, and the Mundane Because I’m trying to start a business, I’m a pastry chef at age 63. But I disagree with you that I have to be the one to teach a man, when a man can go and learn that shit for himself.

[@JonathonAslay]

A woman helps a man to become vulnerable

[@MirnaEJiron]

I understand that, but when does a boy finally become a man? While we women bear the burden of being patient. My father was a Pastor, he passed at 94 in 2022, and “he” told me that women were actually the STRONGER SEX. Why? Because we bare the children, work , clean house, cook and are more in touch with our own emotions for real. Men tend to suppress all emotions, compartmentalize it, and then push it down way in the back back of their minds. And that leads to the proverbial and the carousel affect. They keep doing the same shit over and over again and not learning anything or maturing.

[@Sandy-o6r]

Very good information

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks

[@debbie2520]

Nicole, children are very adjustable if they have a stable home and loving parents…combine your homes right now. As long as you and your man are serious about each other, then build your combined family unit as a solid thing that has a future you mean. Your commitment to each other is what is most important to your children … they want a family too!!

[@user370Z]

You are so funny Jonathon! I lost it completely when you said, "accept all that bad behaviour because he will change!". Good thing it is early evening with all my laughing! Must not wake my son again. You are so right! I find I am more careful these days...well, I don't have a lot of time to waste lol. I might laugh but I am always listening. Take care and keep them coming...I need to hear what you say. Best wishes for Xmas Jonathon. From Paris in Oz

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@sylviasessentials]

Love this show, I understand what you’re saying about staying cordial with an ex-wife and such. As a fellow female Leo I want that person to let me know I am there only one. I believe that when you meet that one that you really really feel in your heart and soul that you want to be with Their your only one and that’s it. I understand the X person whatever it may be but that new person wants to feel like they’re the number one and that they don’t have to ever feel in their soul they have to compete with anyone to feel comfortable. Also how do you feel about going across country😢 to meet up with someone if you feel in your soul that they may be the one? Keep up with the great work and advice that you give much.😊😊

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you

[@Jimmie-ix6jz]

❤NO TRUE LOVE WITH OUT TRUE LOVE IS IN EACH OTHERS ❤ AND LET GO iN AGGGREEMENT/PEACE ❤❤ FORGIVEN

[@Koolala75]

Janelle is was way too adorable 🥰 naturally beautiful too

[@carshi7177]

OmG so correct, thank you so much, I do appreciate your humor

[@JonathonAslay]

You are so welcome

[@mermaidinfinityrainbow3183]

Sounds like my first marriage 😂 you can't save anyone. You can only save yourself 💯 from disappointment. 😂

[@jennifersinatra5743]

Great point

[@dcrank0607]

I met someone about a month ago ago. Things seemed to be going well. Talking/texting daily he was sending sweet quotes and that has changed. He has expressed distance 2 1/2 hrs apart and political views(barely discussed). I told him that I think if you both want it to work you work it out. He came here several days and it was nice. and I went there and stayed in a hotel. I have more flexibility and asked if there is a problem with me coming there and we can rotate. He said that’s fine but didn’t ask me to come.

[@JonathonAslay]

2 1/2 hours is pretty far... can either one of you move?

[@RoseMoke]

Thank you Jonathan ..keep in tauch

[@lillianturner758]

Johnathan I agree

[@JonathonAslay]

👍🏼