Why Men REALLY Use WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE Against Women

[@jinaolen786]

Ladies, please remember not to feed the trolls!

[@markfennell1167]

Yes, it does seem like this woman is trolling because she can’t be that serious

[@sb853547]

Okk dividing household duties equally seems like trolling

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@markfennell1167says the troll

[@Emptytopfloor]

Why not? Engagement is engagement. Good or bad.

[@LuciaDreamingRosey]

@@Emptytopfloor because women have nothing to gain by arguing back and forth with loser men on the internet who are thirsty for women’s attention.

[@jennifersanders7199]

Someone sent me a list when my son was in middle or high school of things your child needed to know before leaving your home for college. It was filled with cleaning chores, grocery shopping and cooking, paying bills balancing or at least checking their bank balance, filling out forms, keeping up on car maintenance, how to ride a bus (turned out to be amazingly valuable). I did make sure he knew these things. At college, he had two roommates who couldn’t do a thing. He ended up teaching them basic stuff like toilet cleaning and laundry and then forcing them to do it. At graduation one of their moms gushed about what a great mom I was. When she left he laughed,”Don’t pay yourself on the back, she just meant you taught me to clean the toilet!” Sure enough at a dinner later, she went on and on about him teaching her kid basic life skills. It was funny, ridiculous, and sad.

[@txspacemom765]

My ex is in a job that requires constant vigilance and quick decision making, or else, someone can get hurt or be unalived. Yet, at home, the house could be on fire and he would be sitting, scrolling his phone and not understanding when I had to ask him to help or go buy something and he wanders around like someone with dementia. There were so many moments like this but the worse was when I asked him to pick me up some chocolate, because I was having a really bad day. He came home with chocolate, covered with coconut. I am allergic to coconut. It makes me vomit. He knew this for 15 years at this point. I could have literally been unalived by this and he got mad. Yeah. Um. But his job, he would constantly tell me how good of a worker he was, looked to by his troops, attention to details etc. Yeah. no.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

I'm so glad he is your ex. He knew your food allergy could kill you and still bought it. As someone with a food allergy myself and family members with the same allergy, that makes me nervous and angry all at the same time. I'm so glad you moved in from that toxic, dangerous, one-sided relationship ❤❤

[@elizabethscrimgeour6608]

Wow, blatant way for these "men" to show they just really don't care about us. As long as they don't mind getting exactly the same energy in return.

[@Taylor086]

Did you press attempted murder charges agaisnt him for knowingly giving you a food allergen?

[@txspacemom765]

@@Taylor086 No I divorced him. He probably would have tried to unalive me in other ways if I stayed.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

@@Taylor086 - I agree that is attempted murder and should be charged as such

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Yes, every time, women should ask themselves 'would he treat his male coworker or boss this way?'. Your partner should give you at least as much respect as a coworker.

[@nickthompson1812]

You must also quickly recognize that men expect for more from a life partner than a male coworker. I’m not dating you and spending my money on you for fun. It’s an investment. I don’t spend money or time on my male coworkers :)

[@NinaGothMambaNegra]

only if it's a male coworker with more power, weaponized incompetence is huge on IT since more women are here now, so the old school dudes would rather let the accounts and clients burn than to listen to feedack on how to improve anything, from emails to infrastructure and AI and so on

[@ladybug3380]

@@nickthompson1812and women also expect a lot from the men they’re with but you guys complain about her having high standards. Her giving him her body and allowing him to get her pregnant is a risk she’s taking.

[@CrAzYiNsAnEBaRbiE1987]

Men treat their friends like crap, why would you expect any more than what he gives his friends? They degrade eachother all the time. Plus I had a dude that chose his friends over Me because he could treat his friends how he wanted but couldn't do that to me

[@aawillma]

My son has consistently said since he was like 3 that he doesn't want kids. He said it seems way too hard. I just realized while watching this video that it's because he has seen first hand how hard it is even with 2 involved parents. He has 2 moms and both of us contribute to the household with employment, domestic labor, and parenting. He has no lazy opt out parent of either gender to model but especially a male parent that acts that way. When he imagines himself a dad, he pictures having to do everything one of his moms is currently doing. I hope he never loses that.

[@KateeAngel]

Before I was 16 and moved to a dormitory I did no household chores ever. My parents didn't even allowed me to help them. And guess what? I never expected my roommates or anyone else to do everything, I learned how to do things to the best of my ability with some help. Yet some 30+ year old men still attempt to use the excuses that they were not taught how to do anything by their mom? That is ridiculous. You had plenty of time to learn after you became an adult

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

I remember when I got my parents old laundry machine. for some people a car is independence, for me it was the laundry machine.

[@nickthompson1812]

Dude, men complain that we don’t know how to fix, build, produce, create… we all know how to do household chores. You’ll never find a man saying how strong and independent her is because he does his own chores and lives on his own. You will however find a man very proud of his creations, such as a nice garden, a curated lawn, or a beautiful family. I am a bit upset that I was raised by a single mother who had no ability to teach me any of these things, you’re right.

[@greeneyedcat10110]

hoe_math is an interesting channel on youtube that addresses these concerns

[@HipHopHoe707]

The first time my ex was alone with our child the whole evening he called me to ask how to cook a very simple dish. I was in the opera. The recipe is on the back of the container. I told him to read it. He dragged this conversation on for 5 more minutes. I'm so glad I'm rid of this useless waste of space.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

I'm glad you are out of that toxic, one sided relationship ❤

[@Shelb13v]

He probably was wanting to see if you cared more about him than whatever you were doing. Men are taught to suppress those things and its expressed in things like that.

[@greeneyedcat10110]

hoe_math

[@wiglicious.]

@@Shelb13vthen he’s just very selfish and should get some therapy for his obvious low self esteem

[@AmyRaeVee]

So glad I have a now have husband who can do all of the same things I do. He is truly a partner. Finally.

[@kiskakuznetsova503]

I knew a guy who refused to get a cell phone (that his gf knew about, he had one hidden) because then, if having to grocery shop, he would be "shopping by remote". He said he hated that he saw "men shopping by remote" in the grocery store on their cell phones. That was so telling.

[@AyAReI00]

Is almost as if they feel diagusted of the idea of helping someone else but them...yet they want total devotion for gf/wife or kids and thats pathologicalm there is no way that individual has some traits of a narcissist personality disorder

[@MissSothePeacefulObserver]

I follow a lot of van lifers. There are many women happier living in their vehicles, then living with a man. Some folks (men and women) have been forced into van living due to higher rents, but once they see the freedom they can have with that lifestyle, it seems to be very freeing, especially for women. I dream about van life all the time, traveling the country, etc. But like most women, I'm responsible for a family member. (Luckily we are close and I've never minded) But if I could get away from the rat race, get myself a camper van, and be completely free, I would love that... This is why its so important for women to have their own money, and their own lives before they consider marriage with anyone.

[@redleeks6253]

Watch melanie Hamlet vídeos. She did the van life.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

I agree, life is freeing when you have your own and live it on your own terms

[@Sleipnirseight]

Thank god my husband is a fully competent adult he contributes more than equally to our household. Could be because he was raised by a single mother in a matriarchal family (that's just what results when the men dip out). Either way, he learned that if you want things done, you DO THEM. We're a great team. There are good men out there. Keep your standards high and you'll find them 😤

[@sarahlpw]

Does he watch porn? Does he call out the men in his life for misogyny? Does he actively fight sexism? Your husband is more likely a neutral man. Doing his share of the chores is NORMAL, not good. Good men are 1 in 1 billion.

[@nicoleparreira1024]

My husband had a career to stay at home mother once he was born but still does 70% of the grocery shopping and all of the cooking. We do nearly equal laundry, maybe I take on chunks more of it at times, but I’m home more. He vacuums, I organize, decorate the home and keep all the plants alive. I’m in charge of replenishing toiletries and kitchenware type of things and do delivery orders of drinks and frozen foods whereas he is more likely to stop by the store for the evenings meal. It just happened this way, we don’t really have to talk about it.

[@DreamtaleEnjoyer]

@@sarahlpwOkay while you're right, gratitude is a balm to the soul. Let women celebrate when their men are decent! Besides, it's very possible the husband actually IS good in all those other aspects too. If he was socialized right from a young age I wouldn't be surprised.

[@birdiemarie3123]

Men roll their eyes at women dreaming about the Disney princess, happily ever after story, because they see it as a ridiculous, unattainable standard. I actually agree with this. But why then can they watch shows like "King of Queens" and "Everyone Loves Raymond", with the dufus husband & long-suffering yet always forgiving wife, and not understand that they are unrealistic as well?

[@triloization]

Thai is exactly the point

[@strwbryblondi07]

Because those shows are realistic unfortunately. Especially blue collar guys, or those from blue collar backgrounds

[@valeriew4833]

How is that not realistic? That's reality where wives are held to a much higher standard in every area of existence, meanwhile the husbands can be complete slobs and extremely out of shape (dad bods, soooo hot!!!!! Right??? Mom body? EW THAT'S DISGUSTING!)

[@LillianRaven]

The way i force my son to learn domestic chores😅🙈”your wife will need you to help with these things.” “My job is to make u self efficient so you are a decent adult one day.” He says i’m too hard on him cause at his gma’s where his dad lives… he doesnt have to do anything 🤮 But i always tell him “no I’m not hard enough on you. I refuse to short change you in life tiny sir.”

[@xysarenottheprize]

It’s disgusting that fathers teach their sons to be useless then complain about how no Women want to take on their burdens.

[@wynngwynn]

Nick from LIB did this to Hannah but everyone called her the abuser when she was mean to nick but never once questioned why she probably was exhausted dealing with him.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Because it's normalised.

[@jsChelimo]

He was shitty. People were acting like he was such a good person when he was just as bad as her. Maybe even worse

[@0hermitworm]

This is why we get horror stories about male instacart employees. They can't pull the same things with their customers that they do with the women in their life and that's when you get three bunches of bananas instead of 3 bananas. LOL

[@C12341]

I’ve had great experiences with both sexes with instacart. I give huge tips though up front and I’ll start texting them once the updates start and say how much I appreciate it. The banana story is pretty hilarious though

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Yeah I admit that the male instacart shoppers are the worst experiences I've had

[@LynneDaniels-M19]

There was a story out of one of the Nordic countries where they are teaching young girls typically boy centered activities and young boys typically girl centered activities in an attempt to bridge this gap at a young age. I'm not saying that's the only solution as it's still (to a degree) playing into the already established roles for boys and girls but, I guess we have to start somewhere. The bottom line is there are certain tasks that everyone needs to do to be a functional adult in society, but by some men's logic, they just starve, go out in stinky clothes and live in filth if they don't have a woman around? I know some do, but most don't. Most are able to figure out these things because they aren't women's tasks, they are functioning adult tasks, period.

[@Rhnhfmfjhrnnfgfjgjmgj]

I absolutely agree with you

[@Takiki]

Y’all need to realize that this is biological. Males are highly dependent creatures, down to the Y chromosome who depends on X to save his life. It’s built in their DNA at this point, there was no time in history where men behaved like women, any man who is as independent as a woman is a miracle LOL and miracles don’t exist

[@ecclairmayo4153]

They are survival skills indeed

[@craigmusa2254]

I work at a gas station and men scare me.

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

he does 1 thing a year and talks about how he "works around the house"

[@nickthompson1812]

Men would love being house husbands. Nothing I would like more than having time to remodel my home. Even better if I have someone else going out and earning the income while I’m having the time of my life at home! Kids is where stress comes in.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Or that he "does everything "

[@sweetpoptart9486]

Most renowned chefs ( and well paid) are men. But men keep saying that cooking is a woman's job...

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

I've been grocery shopping with my 2 sons since they were born. I show them how to shop! You look at the items you need, the size in comparison to the price! The items we can buy in bulk because we use them everyday, vs items we use less often and don't need to be replaced as often. We also have to keep in mind the weight and size of what we're buying, because we have to carry it home while we're walking!! No car, no public transportation! It have to fit in the backpacks, or be light enough to carry in your arms! How to pack fragile items,like lightbuls and eggs so they don't break before we get them home... That mental load is heavier than whatever I have to carry home.

[@Taylor086]

Schools need to add basic skills to their classrooms, cooking, cleaning, raising kids, change a diaper, feed a baby, laundry change a light bulb, change a tire, unclog a drain, how to use a phillips and flat gead screw driver, allan key, etc Financial planning, how to do taxes. School systems were designed to create employees in the workforce. But schools should add basic skills for both boys AND girls, that they all leaen the same skills at home, and on the road. Add CPR to that as well, so everyone knows what to do in emergencies. Adults should graduate high school at 18yrs of age, and know how to cook, clean, do laundry, feed/change a baby, financially plan, change a tire, change a light bulb, etc

[@CrAzYiNsAnEBaRbiE1987]

Because school isn't their parent, that's the parents job not the schools

[@lain5858]

​@@CrAzYiNsAnEBaRbiE1987 In Japan kids learn to clean and cook

[@elizabethscrimgeour6608]

Agree with all of this. But...also it took me a long time to realize that my ex-husband did the grocery shopping only so he could control what was bought. 😆. All the time we were married, I thought it was so nice that he "did that for me".

[@martibee8984]

I'm glad you brought up the store directory. Nowadays most stores have a website, and many of those sites have a directory of their items. If you tend to shop at certain locations for a majority of your items it's smart to have the app for that business on your cell. Especially if you don't know the store very well. This could be utilized by men while picking up the shopping list instead of asking his "partner" where everything is. Additionally, there are signs in most stores that point out where similar items are shelved together as well. Simply get on the site, and search for whatever item you're looking for. If they stock it, it pops up, and frequently tells you what aisle it's in. It's so simple, and doesn't require contacting anyone repeatedly. I know my local store like the back of my hand, but whenever they re-mod on a larger scale I have to get used to where things are again. I frequently use the app during this time. Have your "partner" download the app before going to the store, and tell them to reference the app if they have any questions. Technology can be your friend if you're actually looking for information, not an excuse to pester your "partner."

[@craigmusa2254]

So im NB and work at a gas station... i constantly am cleaning and when older men or just men in general see me cleaning/dusting shelves they will say im "doing beach work/ or woman's work" ... and im just dumbfounded

[@ecclairmayo4153]

It's ridiculous even though you are getting paid, they still can't unsee their bias. They better hope their wife never leaves them or dies, because they are going to learn quick that cooking snd cleaning are survival skills that everyone should know!

[@electron-Volt]

I know it's not what the channel is about, but what blush is that 💕

[@theripper1705]

Very good comparison about he would never do this multiple phone call / wrong items bullshit to his male boss.

[@sarahw7196]

The list is the hardest part

[@caseyw.6550]

Ily so much!!!

[@danidiaz2377]

💜👏👏

[@obietravels652]

I honestly don’t know where y’all are finding these “men” who can’t shop and cook. Find a grown adult; don’t settle for a child. My partner of 10 years does all the shopping, cooking, laundry etc for his household, works a hard job, and raises his kids. I show up for dinner. I don’t organize anything, plan meals, wash his dishes, nothing. I have my own house to take care of. Independence is a beautiful thing. He grocery shops multiple times a week, provides everything the kids need, and texts to ask me if I need anything, which he will later deliver to my door. I cook for him about once or a week at my house, and we go out on weekends. Domestic labor is NOT what I’m bringing to a relationship 😂

[@JBLegal09]

Maybe it's a thing in the US cause you appear to be going backwards, but generally it's not an issue in Australia hun.

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

it makes no difference here in Finland, men are the same. women usually just think that the grass is greener somewhere else, often spinning tales of "oh the men of other countries are better than the ones here, ours dont know how to thing x but they do." no, they dont. it makes no difference. it has cock and balls, its the same thing everywhere.

[@lestatsluv317]

I highly doubt that. Just because it isn't an issue for you, that doesn't mean other women aren't putting up with it. Women from just about every country around the world are saying the same thing....I find it hard to believe Australia is the single exception. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Interesting, an Australian woman in a different video I watched was just complaining about this. Who is lying? I guess Australia is backwards too.

[@desiree2086]

I was reading lately about the femicide rates in your progressive country, and the statistics about who’s doing the majority of unpaid housework in the house. It seems that, statistically, Australia isn’t doing much better. As a Dutch woman I think the USA is on another level when it comes to misogyny and misogynoir, but in other countries we struggle with the same bias of men who both consciously and subconsciously think homework is women’s work. Statistically proven but also from women’s globally shared experiences. Australia isn’t doing better, hun.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

@@JBLegal09 - You just couldn't help yourself, could you? You just had to turn it into a way to criticize America. We stay on your mind rent free. Get a life. Australia has its own problems, and I just saw an Australian woman make a video here on KZbin about this exact same issue.

[@lovegod949]

Let me guss 4b movement

[@azazelviper155]

If you don't want to hear what a woman has to say about men then leave the channel, it's simple don't watch it

[@Jaylade]

You guessed it!

[@commandery3574]

oop you was right!

[@indigomoon9436]

what’s 4b movement?

[@NM-jd9ck]

and ur pressed about it, cry more

[@Xianne027]

As a mature woman, I appreciate your podcast. But do we really need to see you putting on makeup while expressing your opinions? I really don't understand this trend of displaying personal grooming during a video. What will we see next? Someone doing intimate personal hygiene while expressing an opinion online? Please, my dear, can we just have some dignity while viewing a video. Presenting yourself more professionally will certainly improve the amount of viewers who join your channel.

[@indigomoon9436]

i know i don’t get it, and it’s distracting from hearing the message and the point of the video

[@romalettuce]

Your comment reveals more about your biases than it does about the creator's dignity. If someone’s ability to multitask-sharing valuable information while doing something as harmless and personal as applying makeup-offends you, perhaps the issue lies with your outdated and unnecessary judgments. In the future, feel free to keep your opinions about others’ harmless choices to yourself, especially on this channel. Thank you.

[@cutiepatootie1990]

That's such a boomer coded observation. Young people like authenticity. This gives vibes of sitting with my internet sister in her room while she's doing her makeup and we're chatting about life and she is teaching me what to lookout for in men. Don't join TikTok, the amount of indignities you will see will have you endlessly clutching your pearls.

[@pansepot1490]

@@cutiepatootie1990 lmao, except you are not sitting in your friend’s room. As you admit, this is carefully staged to sell you a vibe of authenticity; which to me means it’s as fake as any overly groomed people on cable tv. And what’s even worse, it’s not even original or new. It’s a trend someone started years ago and hundreds of people have copied. And lastly, @romalettuce comments are also to give feedback to the creator. I think it’s useful to them to know that while some viewers appreciate their style, others perceive it as damaging to or belittling their message. Idk, try to imagine a doctor talking to the public about cancer in children while trimming their nails. Would you really appreciate the multitasking?

[@nickthompson1812]

This is what men call putting on their war paint 😂

[@Shelb13v]

My husband can do anything. Most men don't want to do the things because their wife will demoralize them in the way they did x. the men calling so many times women complain about, then he's an idiot for asking, then he's a jerk for not doing whatever but he doesn't want to be chided by his wife for not knowing things. I used to make decisions and not call until i realized my husband would rather me call five times about things to see what he prefers.. We need to just let our men be in charge. It's super hot when the man is in charge anyways, plus less stress for us women. It's a win win.

[@aawillma]

Blink twice if you're in danger

[@AShreads55]

I think it's super hot to be a sovereign human being

[@T_Cup]

You want to let men be in charge, but then say they're basically too sensitive to be in charge? Also, what do you want them to be in charge of, if they need to call five times to make sure they're getting the same box of crackers they've been eating at home for 5 years? This whole paragraph is a lose-lose for my braincells tbh

[@ladybug3380]

Men are in charge of running the world, how’s that working out for us as a species?

[@leschatsmusicale]

"let men think they are in charge because their fragile egos can't handle anything else" there I fixed it