Why Narcissists Are So ‘Generous’: The Hidden Agenda Behind the Gifts

[@perfectlove7388]

My aunt/ex Pastor of 20 years is exactly this way..God opened my eyes and I finally cut her out of my life but it has not been easy at all but God is faithful.

[@dakoderii4221]

My dad died last week. Family expects me to talk about what a 'good man and great father" he was. No where to be found the first 15 years of my life. He showed up to demand I live like a bum, like he does. I feel relieved he can't make up any more vicious lies but family is treating him as some great man and expect me to be grateful for all the destruction he caused. Name it and he has done it. He was a sadist. He would be angry whenever I was NOT in pain and agony. He calls family up to berate until I'm back in my place where I belong. Such a demonic glee comes across his face. He starts shaking with excitement the more pain you're in. The way someone would act if they won a free car or something. I'm told that's love! I'm just so ungrateful. Why do people justify every wicked thing then act like good things are evil, all while saying they are Christians obeying God? They act like the whole Gospel is making sure Satan and his minions feelings are never hurt. Evil must prosper or it will be offended, and that's worse than nuclear war! Got to go along to get along....

[@Anne_W64]

I hope all goes well for you and also, sorry for what you're going through. Just a suggestion: It's your right to be silent with people who'd pry. Sometimes the best way to be kind to people who are hurting over the death of someone you had bad experiences with is to say nothing and focus on how they feel. When asked how you're feeling or to say something kind, you might say, 'I can't talk about it right now.' or 'I can't speak publicly right now. It's better to ask someone else.' You don't need to explain or give reasons.

[@wonderingpilgrim]

Growing up, I was always given gifts with controlling strings attached, along with a healthy side dose of guilt. Anything given to me, was repeatedly brought up regularly, and it only got worse as I became an adult. Ironically, it motivated and challenged me to generously give gifts without strings attached. The only problem is I end up neurotically psychoanalizing my motives out of fear of them not being pure and unselfish enough. Is this a normal response from someone who grew up under narcissistic abuse? I truly love thinking of creative ways to gift people without them feeling the need to pay me back in any way, but I also worry that they might misperceive or judge my intentions.

[@nonawolf7495]

Narc parents are the worst - they think you "owe them" for having raised you. Transactional love is especially unfair to a child ... they don't have the ability to walk away.

[@TheThiaminBlog]

The gifts are too much-uncomfortably so-too generous, inappropriate, out of line with what everyone else does. The city I moved to is full of narcissism. My kids, growing up, would get gifts from their friends and friends’ parents that were WAY beyond the pale-$100+ gifts that couldn’t be reciprocated. And like 10 of them from friends they weren’t even very close to! Huge birthday parties that only really rich people should have afforded (they were not rich!) and the weddings… oh my gosh. Just had a friend’s daughter get married. The mom commented to me that there was just NO money for the wedding-she was so proud of what they did with just over $20,000. And off to a honeymoon on an island somewhere. 🙁 The man is beginning his career in law enforcement. Oh my gosh!!! Lived here some years now and I am tired.

[@sweetpea3153]

The abuse I suffered from my sister, and subsequently having to leave the relationship to stop it, was beyond words. There is a demonic aspect to narcissism which the secular overlooks. In the end, I wasn't sure if she needed a therapist or an exorcist.

[@PinkRoseDawn]

Spot on.

[@deebeautiful84]

This perfectly describes how my brother is! He gives then martyrs himself. Oh you better believe he's going to tell everyone. I love my brother but I know God warned me about his manipulative ways.

[@lybor4533]

one person said that communal type is most dangerous, bcs he´s so hard to recognize due to his generosity, ministry etc. I think that most of those are in church and religious places

[@ShaneenMegji]

Yes, and also helping professions and charitable organizations.

[@Silencedogood-r6l]

My aunt was the communal type. She was childless and I lost my Mom when I was a kid so she was able to have open access to me from a young age. It was always very confusing to me…her “pull me, push me” behavior was unsettling along with her lack of empathy, but she was ALWAYS an advocate for the “downtrodden, the underdog, the environment, minorities, etc.” I grew up never being allowed to “talk back” without severe consequences and so whenever she would say something that was designed to provoke me, I wouldn’t respond, but go home (as an adult) hurt, angry and confused as to WHY she would say that? Then, an occasional fat check would come in the mail…and when I got on the phone to thank her, I’d be informed that my cousins received the same amount so “don’t go thinking that you’re *special.”* I hadn’t learned about narcissism then. It wasn’t until she started showing signs of senility that I became concerned for her well being and moved her into my home, like a fool. I had known for years that I wasn’t in her will…none of the family was. It was all going to her various charitable causes. Well, she proceeded to make my life a *living hell.* By that time I had learned about narcissism and after 4 months knew that she needed to move out. Long story short..with the help of a social worker I was able to get her out of my house and into assisted living, but after a few months there and her abuse being ramped up, I could no longer visit her. She was totally convinced that I couldn’t wait till she was dead, so that I could contest her will and “capitalize on her death!” When she did die..I could not shed one tear for her at that point. Moral to this story: When you realize what you’re dealing with~no contact is the ONLY way to deal with them.

[@bridgettetraveler658]

U are talking about my parents & many ppl I know! I know it's wrong to be glad when narcissists die, but when they die they can't hurt anyone else! I can't feel sad for them! I'm sad they don't truly repent of their horrible ways. That's the only thing I'm sad about. A person going to hell!!!

[@ingehiskia8942]

Thank you so much

[@ShaneenMegji]

You're most welcome.

[@ivonkwAn6443]

Pretense, pride, self-love and a sense of entitlement are poison to everyone around the narcissist and ultimately to himself. 

[@Inquisitivemind-z2u]

Wow! Wonderful video.

[@ShaneenMegji]

Thank you!

[@LighthouseNAnchor]

Awesome information…thanks Shaneen! ❤😊

[@sarahtennessee608]

Excellent information.

[@ShaneenMegji]

Thank you. 😊

[@rufiennaeem1770]

I thank your videos and the insight on this topic . Thanks for bringing awareness to this issue. Appreciate it.

[@susandickson637]

Great video ...

[@christianarias7078]

I have been struggling with my past relationship with someone I used to date roughly a few years ago. So I decided to let go of my previous relationship. Because she has manipulated me after what happened. I finally moved on and refocus on myself. Hopefully, for a future relationship to come soon.

[@miraclesforus]

IMHO I believe since the gate is narrow, these demonically infested vessels are the majority....Their demonic strongholds know who you are. May the Lord heal and comfort you and bless you with his true remnant.

[@christianarias7078]

Thank you very much. 🥰🥰💜💜

[@AngelaFroehlich-w2h]

Thank you so much for posting this.

[@ShaneenMegji]

My pleasure Angie! 💕

[@richardwalker1405]

Thank you

[@ShaneenMegji]

You’re welcome!

[@purrrlicious1]

Shalom, friends! May I remind you and others to also look out for the narcissist’s tendencies to keep situations in grey areas that they paint one way or another depending on who is looking…A dual relationship, like at a work place, where a boss asks an employee to dinner after work to “unwind”. Or a windowed pastor who calls his congregants but gives the single attractive females encouragement to share and do more intimate things with him. People like this want emotional access to those whom they are supposed to serve and steward to meet their own needs. It may feel like you are hearing a heaven sent message that you are special when really they are using you. And it might be for affirmation of their likability to their sense of virility. Very subtle and easy for them to deny because “it was only dinner”, or “it is my job to reach out to church members.” They can make you look jealous, paranoid and unreasonable for calling them out!

[@ShaneenMegji]

Really good points.

[@johnjoseph9929]

@purrrlicious1 . Your comment remineded me of how my Boss two weeks back asked about my personal life, slowly by slowly and then said, but your a good looking woman and so good for me . He saod that he could marry a second wife, when i reminded him that he is already married. He then asked me to give an answer on his proposal in a week. Then he acted like as if he was joking and i felt bit light?, so now he is asking me to meet him after work . Hr keeps calling me to know when i have the time. He said if i said no, then he would remove me from work. Please suggest what to do . I just told one collegue of mine about it . I do not want to lose my job

[@purrrlicious1]

@@johnjoseph9929 Goodness- sorry you are going through that mess. Document everything very thoroughly in a journal with dates, times, etc. And tell him no thank you, you just want to do your job. And if he doesn’t stop with the games, go to HR. You may want to consult a sexual harassment lawyer, too. And most importantly, pray.

[@pattylong6014]

Gifts from a narc are an "open-ended IOU" for the target.

[@elizabethash4720]

There is the manipulator and the giver in the world. Who wins? the giver. So who will manipulate gods children by giving? the narcicist, because they are jealous of God and copy him. Christians, be vigilant with discernment and be aware at all times . Put on the full armour of God.

[@patriciawilliams5172]

unfortunately, we have to work around these people

[@lesliesavage9229]

I am not giving you my email address to get the results of your quiz, when you could put up the results right there on the webpage!!!

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

Thank you always for your videos. Also, thank you for loving Jesus so much. I love him too. I totals share and POST on platforms your videos because I think everybody should hear them Hugs from Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI

[@ShaneenMegji]

Thank you Cynthia! God bless you! ❤️

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

@@ShaneenMegji awww…thank you…huuugs

[@peppermintgirl572]

@ShaneenMegji loveboming does not only apply to dating but within family members, friends, coworkers, etc…..

[@ShaneenMegji]

Yes it’s true.

[@susandickson637]

It's actually 2 Timothy 3:1-5

[@liftedenergy3693]

A person who brags about being a giver is usually just a manipulator.

[@universallove878]

Sometimes narcs come with a smile and presents 🎁. These are grooming tools to bait you in.

[@lisapurnell2064]

🤗❤️

[@expensivenoodle]

My abusive aunt to a T. The very picture of malicious.