Why Narcissists Hurt Their Loved Ones

[@Jpl-z7p]

Best way to avoid shame is to not act shamefully.

[@fenlandwildlifeclips]

I have tried to point this out several times.

[@fenlandwildlifeclips]

You don't have to love yourself to love others. I hated myself for years but loved others. I don't hate myself anymore but I'm not in love with myself either.

[@edenjennings8395]

They may not intentionally hurt you, but they don't act with intention to protect you either.

[@the_veronica_k]

I think the narc hurts their loved ones because they are the only people close enough to the narc to not walk away immediately after experiencing the narcs abusive nature. The narc will never abuse the outsiders because they know that those people will walk right out of their life instantly and will likely expose them to others, in turn minimising the level of control the narc maintains over the public’s perception of their image. The only people the narc shows their true colours to are those that they know are already in some way, shape or form emotionally bonded to them, and will not just up n leave at the first sign of abuse. Since they can only show their abusive nature behind closed doors, it generally means that only their closest circle get to experience their brutal torment.

[@shockjay]

Spot on 😊

[@upclosesneakers6875]

absolutely spot on... she was obsessed with her image... can't be mean to strangers but can be to those closest... and she'd admit to it without even realising that there's nothing ok with that... the only thing im grateful for from my experience with one is that when you wake up you become a better version of yourself and realise what you will no longer put up with...they came into our lives for a reason and to teach us something about ourselves...

[@karynegough7564]

Nailed it.

[@rosemondamponsah8243]

Well said

[@christieweber6049]

Does a narcissist constantly devalue you to avoid shame or is it more about tearing you down to feel good about themself? I could see in her demeanor how she would delight in hurting me and I have to wonder if she could be a psychopath/sociopath in addition to npd. It is so hard to understand how someone could be this way with no love or empathy for others. It is tragic 😞 The world gets the personality, you get the disorder ~ Lee Hammock

[@QX-xq5uj]

I liked your example with the car full of shame and guilt that comes towards the Narcissist! That's a good way to visualize how they are trying to cope with their own deamons inside and it explains why they don't care about hurting the one they say they "love" so much. Thank you for your insights from the other side of the road!

[@real_hello_kitty]

It's more like the narc push you to the road instead, before he got out the road.

[@gdub5588]

That car analogy was excellent

[@eyram5098]

Thank you for always keeping it real ! 👍🏻

[@ivywestmoreland9310]

Wow great analogy describing their actions to avoid the guilt and shame

[@turkeeg7644]

Because their abusers.

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

Happy father's day Ben Elevation and Love Hakuna Mipaka. I hope you have a lovely day full of blessings and joy ☺.

[@sheiladay-od2me]

I found out recently that the person I know is not a narcissist. Yet, coaches and therapists say he is. He is not.

[@zeddeka]

One of the biggest narcissists I have known told me why he was so bad to his partner and cheated. He said that he hated himself so much that he hated people who loved him. I have no idea if this was the truth or not. Any ideas?

[@RawMotivations]

Sounds like a bit of the truth to make you feel sorry for him

[@zeddeka]

@@RawMotivations I think you're right. It's a very awful case. I thankfully no longer have any contact with him - I knew him from university for over twenty years. I always knew he had problems but nowhere near as bad as it turned out. I just thought he was a bit immature. He had a whole secret life. When his partner was out, he was using a key he had for his neighbour's house to use it to bring back prostitutes when they also weren't at home. Serious sex addiction problems. Worst of all, he was subsequently convicted for having extreme child pornography on his computer. Turned out he'd been doing it for years. As a mutual friend said, she was left wondering how much of her friendship with him had been real.

[@Tulsaistalking]

Yeah.. my pd.. makes normal connections hard/Basicallly impossible.. so i have only end up in traumbonded scenarios.. (it took a very long time to see this) Like its always either npd/bpd.. or both.. because a healthier person wouldnt be satisfied.. ironically.. im specifically unlikely to be good for either of those two types.. i unconsciously trigger both rejection and abandonment sensitivity.. through indifference.. or social/emotional withdrawal.. in normal people.. let alone individuals with a sensitivity.. and identity dependency.. I dont know how to escape it.. trying to grow personally.. but more likely i think i would be satisfied with self aware a self aware npd/bpd personality since i it so intimately at this point

[@lowo1711]

Then how are they your lives ones … they aren’t they could be anyone

[@anettewaits3677]

.👍💚

[@TyreeDuncan-2143]

OK Ben if your supposed to go no contact with each other then why is a person in the others phone. Why don't you think the person will listen. So I'm not getting this whole thing because my mind is fine. If this person just can't like me then oh well. But when you talk about being sick or heath well how am I supposed to do this when they won't get out my phone. Then I gotta do shit that I don't want to do. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like that but it's what I have to do. So what do you suggest. I have the proper paperwork to get him out of my phone and do alot of damaging things back but it's hard because I just don't like to hurt others. He just over researches shit as well.

[@RawMotivations]

Huh? In your phone? Block get them out of phone