Why Narcissists Will Inevitably Push You Away!

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[@blatherskyt]

This guy gets it. If you have ever been in a serious relationship with a covert narcissist… you know he gets it.

[@Uniule]

100% , brother/sister. He described the experience perfectly.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

They must smear you

[@SophiaBro]

💯

[@bratbalal9042]

He gets it to the core, there is a possibility that we can hurt narcissist in their world

[@Librarian322]

They smear so that no one will contact you to find out who that person REALLY is IS!

[@raincat33]

When they're beginning to devalue you they have already found somebody else

[@queenb3088]

@@raincat33 more than likely they've had someone else all along. They don't permanently get rid of anyone. They just shelf people and then rotate and triangulate. You have to decide to stay No Contact and move on with your life.

[@incognito595]

Especially if you CONFRONT THEIR LIES, ABUSE, BULLYING, INVALIDATION, INSULTS, ETC.

[@not2longnow]

🎯🔥

[@incognito595]

And went and stole what little was left of the Trust that my father left me. She did that because she Coerced me into signing a POA.She will Answer to the Authorities for the lies and deceit.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

I'm using my God voice to pathologize his loss of self-control whenever he rages when I have done something good. I'm pointing out his loss of control versus my emotional control by not reacting at all. When I don't react, that means I'm in control.

[@aliyahadaanni]

Oh yeah then they play the ' victim card '. The ' I was vulnerable " card. The " you persued me" card. Manipulative clowns

[@NaturalLifestyleLounge]

You just summed up a very complex situation that has unfortunately happened to me. I don’t have a psychology degree to figure out why the things were done to me, but you just put it simply.

[@chocolatecookie8571]

OMG, that sounds like a horror movie. Oh wait.... I was in it.

[@kathleendubois7128]

So weird. I would watch that on TV and find it ridiculous and slightly unbelievable till it happened to me. I could not believe it. Sending all strength and good wishes to you. So sorry you also had this experience

[@chocolatecookie8571]

@@kathleendubois7128 thank you, that is very kind of you. It was a good horror movie though 😅😂 And sorry to hear that you experienced the same torture. Unlike the theatre, this is the real thing. What hurts me most probably is the loss of time. When you grow older you lose possibilities and strength, etc. Okay, let's see if we can turn this scary movie into a more fun one, hihi.

[@kathleendubois7128]

@chocolatecookie8571 absolutely! Time to rewrite the script!

[@janetkendle2073]

Me TOO!!!

[@kathleendubois7128]

@@janetkendle2073 commiserations to you, hope the days start getting better as you put this behind you

[@user-jo1de4po6d]

They want to make you trash and then they are frustrated you are not allowing yourself to become trash, and by doing that they end up being trash

[@LaMesaC]

YEP!!

[@Apocalyptiseptical]

Wow 🤯

[@elisaplugaru850]

The best answer to this video.

[@adolcristin3526]

Nothing more horrible than a person that has nothing but wishes to abuse and hurt you

[@significantlyintentional]

With trash * they already are trash lol

[@laney3182]

I’ve been through the “discard” phase. Very dark and purely evil. It guts you like a fish and leaves you dead for the vultures to pick your flesh.

[@gandawesley5870]

I have not been thru the discard phase. It sounds horrific to the soul. I left BEFORE being discarded by him. So glad I walked away. My gosh....

[@neveragain733]

This is exactly how i feel. Its a wonder im still alive.

[@Turin_Turumba]

@@gandawesley5870 It's a horrible experience, and what's worse is the fact that they know they're hurting you and they thoroughly enjoy it

[@palapalak.8907]

I turned to Jesus. So happy. He's in a cult...and does not believe it. So sad. Another religion...

[@donnasmolokoff8760]

It’s so crazy true !! I swear, this is exactly what they do and how you are left feeling . Complete abuse !!

[@erikagrove5007]

That is why you have to go complete NO CONTACT

[@magpie1492]

Definitely, don't give them an inch because they will find a way of hurting you again.

[@daker1941]

😂No Contact works until you have to cooperate in order to equally divide the assets remaining from the wreckage of your marriage-insane!

[@carolynforge8586]

Then let them talk.

[@carolynforge8586]

​@@daker1941 That's handled between attorneys.

[@staciecarlson191]

I have. For 20 years. Still bothers me deeply.

[@shalasharify863]

This guy knows what he is talking about. He gets it so well.

[@ohyeah2951]

💯 they only frame you as ‘good’ again when they need something from you. Otherwise they paint you as the worst person ever and themselves as an altruistic person who was wronged. Aka professional victims.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

You are describing “splitting”

[@sdeb3333]

Ah! Professional victim! Couldn't be more appropriate! ❤

[@helenmcclay2622]

I was hoovered for one night

[@martinmartin9084]

To the point 100%. They cheer you on when they need your help, when they feel any less than great, you are wortless to them. It is this extreme imbalance in the personality.

[@user-jp5zm5jh6b]

Exactly!!

[@southernbelladonna78]

Hearing that phrase...."to absorb you".... I felt a cold shiver. Like a parasite just eating my soul. 😮

[@ritapeters1330]

They eat your soul 😢

[@snowmiaow]

It feels like that. Funny, my narc partner mentioned that exact phrase referring to how I looked after visiting with my father.

[@JaquelineGoodspeed]

Energy stealers.

[@clairexxx0405]

It's a very dangerous relationship and if the narcissist does a good job on you, you'll never be the same again.

[@faddy24]

Yes if they break your spirit then it's almost impossible to ever be who you once were.

[@sara.e.1111]

This! I think my spirit is close to broken and I don't think I will ever trust another human again 😔

[@WhenWordsFailMe]

Or, if you learn and grow from it, you can be better and stronger and wiser than you ever were before. The process was painful and devastating, but I did come out stronger.

[@lemaxx2638]

They can push you to suicide

[@guitarlessonswithbillythek8753]

Jeez, I’m toast then. It was only a six month relationship, I just can’t believe how it has changed me wtf

[@simjam1980]

And if you are silly enough to give them complete blind submission, they'll lose respect for you and dump you anyway.

[@matikramer9648]

Did to me twice First my mom, second my ex

[@VeganLife-mn1jp]

Came here to say this. Even when you give them complete blind submission, they start to hate you anyway.

[@MiaK06]

This!!!!!

[@andrewsmith3257]

​@@VeganLife-mn1jp not only that but your health could be in a life threatening situation and they won't have any empathy at all. Even if it's a Narc parent

[@ascendbylaurenadams]

THIS

[@bam8039]

"Done your job, used you up." Then they throw you out like trash.

[@daisyh8481]

I walked away and blocked him when he wasn’t expecting it. I really enjoyed that

[@K.M.2324]

I also blocked a narcissist....one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

[@poetsrear]

​@@K.M.2324OR you're both the narcissist itself. We can't tell and neither can the narc.

[@darriuspeterson9165]

Blocked a narc and gave myself my power back.

[@theoriginal7727]

They go into such a rage if they are the ones that get shut down, put in check and pushed out.

[@btac6481]

Its kinda easy to fig out a lie with a covert narc. Aside from her lips are moving, the rage flares up like gas on a bonfire the closer to the truth you get. Its dangerous though cuz they just amp up the passive aggresive behavior and gaslighting.

[@upshikagatlewar9807]

I'm 30 now but i was a cry baby who was exhausted and took years to heal. But 1 realization that changed my mindset was that the narcs were always happy. I was like no, if nobody gave me love, i will give myself selflove and be happier than everyone around me coz that's what i deserve. Everyday i work on myself, eat good, exercise, do yoga, take divine guidance by asking for help. I've honestly surrendered to my creator, that's how i live well. Knowing that i have a friend and a protector by my side. Knowing that I'm safe and not spending any more time wasting my energy thinking about the narc. I guarantee you it is possible to heal, you have the best of days ahead. More power to you ❤

[@Potato-fv9ns]

I left my ex. Escaped actually. I just let him vilify and degrade me and didn't bother arguing. He can say whatever lies hes wants i just want him to go away. He can have his false narrative i can have my life.

[@river7732]

Good thinking, well done getting your life back!

[@user-us3st8qu2h]

Wise and prudent choice, you know better, God knows and may bless you!!! 🙏🙏🙏

[@Potato-fv9ns]

@@user-us3st8qu2h it took 15 years to get there and a lot of trauma. Unfortunately. But I'm grateful I'm out as much as I can be.

[@bygraceandmercy]

'He can have his false narrative and I can have my life ' That right there is a profound statement 👏

[@floravalle1625]

Finally, left him too. I have my power back.

[@queenb3088]

YES, YES, YES! This is the BEST explanation of the relationship and discard that I've heard. He tried SO HARD to make me trash... accusing me of things that he KNEW I'd never done, but it made him feel better, although he KNEW it wasn't true. So, as he was raging about his narcissistic mother, I finally asked, "So, what have I done to you?" And all he could say was, "Nothing... I'm just sick of you!" He just couldn't stand my goodness... and that he couldn't break me. It infuriated him! What a demon!

[@rubydeep1191]

Why do they hang around then?

[@mercedesbella7709]

It's so true, they have nothing but contempt for our goodness.

[@queenb3088]

@@rubydeep1191because there's something that they need from you.

[@not2longnow]

Because your still a source of 'supply'. They put you on a pedestal for as and when required. Plus they can't be on their own. Its a complete mess.

[@rubydeep1191]

@@not2longnow why cant they be on their own?

[@justme1269]

I promise you this is the truth. They will work behind the scenes and lie to their family, your family, friends, and coworkers to defame your character. Their entire mental disorder is so unbelievable and so difficult to fathom that it is the exact reason it makes it one of the most sinister mental disorder. It will make you stay longer and ALWAYS question yourself, not them.

[@369-b1f]

@@justme1269 insidious it is.. sinisterily insidious

[@carolynforge8586]

It's a type of insanity that's based on needing to destroy you.

[@JKB-ji6xl]

They make you their receptacle if you let them, empty their garbage into you, then when you're used up, push you away & call you "trash". Thanks Mr. Grannon.

[@MichelleECKHU8]

So true! I took him into my heart, home and life. Helped him to get back on his feet physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially and I am certain he is telling his next victim that I was awful and did horrible things. He is a very sick man and I’m so happy to be away from him finally. I will never allow another man in who needs so much help ever again.

[@floravalle1625]

They always have a sad story.

[@Gabby0770]

Same...

[@MichelleECKHU8]

@@floravalle1625 I didn’t know that. Truly I thought that someone with NPD would be bragging… I learned the hard way. Sounds like you did too

[@MichelleECKHU8]

@@Gabby0770 sorry you went through that

[@stephanieburgess8217]

Same

[@Turin_Turumba]

It's beyond repulsive , I'd never believe it if I hadn't experienced it, rejecting my ex narcs hoover was the best revenge lol her outrage was surreal

[@beautimo8482]

Can I ask you in what way you rejected it? I guess I will have to face that sooner or later and I want it to be as effective as possible.

[@AndrewDaniele87]

​@beautimo8482 just don't reply to any messages from them, leave them on read, don't answer any of their calls too

[@michalos_skruberix]

​@@beautimo8482yup. The same as above comments plus i've rejected to answer even one word, even in social setting. I Just raised my hand in 'stop' gesture and Walked away when approach.

[@queenb3184]

Narcissists are demons, only a demon would be that evil.😱

[@mainerockflour3462]

They are demons. The indigenous people call them skinwalkers. Some can become portals for others. They are what controls this world, or more accurately, matrix. Call in your archangels to surround them with Light. Visualization is very powerful. Jesus said, "Be it according to your belief." It is God's Light that neutralize their evil❤

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Narcissism doesn't mean evil, but pop psychology has convinced everyone it is. I just want to point out that this kind of thing is magical thinking and isn't that very narcissistic.

[@prorok21]

Apage Satanas 😂

[@sarajanewebster5321]

It’s a deeply-seated trauma response, done by adult humans. I would advise against vilifying other people, it makes it easier to de-humanize them.

[@StalkedHuman]

It's Satan

[@OxyRay-ms8bm]

So important to stay high value, hold onto that self worth, run the second you have an opportunity, go no contact. Contact is their oxygen.

[@donnasloan2455]

You can get along fine with a narcissist - all you have to do, is agree with their lies.

[@carolynforge8586]

Accept their BS.

[@foreveryoung6464]

Yes cause they want a slave. Just a crazy person. Run

[@debbielove5993]

I just went through this! He hates me now because I wouldn't completely submit to him and his perverse desires. 😢

[@alexasophieridderstrom2631]

It's not "you" he hates. He hates the "inobedient version of you" that won't do what he wants it to do. He cannot see YOU. It's is not personal. Please don"t take it "personal". It is never about YOU, but about the "shared fantasy" not working, because you left the shared fantasy. (acc. to Prof. Sam Vaknin). ❤

[@darriuspeterson9165]

@@alexasophieridderstrom2631yes he hates not being able to control you

[@Rawkstar2210]

Same happened here. Smear campaign from hell. But I survived. And you will too. ❤

[@daviedood2503]

Do what they say when they say it. No questions asked. If they want to sleep w someone else. Say ok no problem and if they infect you, it's also your fault. Ur just a doormat to them. 🙄🔥 Get some dignity and self worth people geez 😬🔥

[@shr1mppoboi950]

I remember when I was being intimate with my ex one night back when we were together. she was leaving love bites on my neck and I didn't think too much of it at the time, "im a vampire" she said with a smile... what followed in those two months after was the most unimaginable emotional/mental anguish of my life. Confusion, desperation for the truth, betrayal and feeling like a dog left on the street. Let us never forget what these people do to us...

[@simjam1980]

Mine used to call herself a vampire too. They ARE vampires... empty and soulless.

[@bvhia]

She wasnt lying

[@annesworld4007]

They always call themselves vampire or werewolf

[@schoolofgrowthhacking]

What happened during those two months?

[@michalos_skruberix]

Yes. I like to label 'mine' a parasite rather than vampire. Vampire is powerful but parasite is Just disgusting worm eating trash. 😅

[@skinnybear5743]

A user by any other name is still a user.

[@matiasmariani08]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Truth, indeed. Unfortunately, as a victim you don't realize that you're the victim until they start the process of evisceration you while leading other to belive that they are the victim.

[@nellynelly8203]

then when you move on to a new life with new hobbies they're in the bushes

[@LimitlessThinker]

It's exactly what happens. It's shocking how they switch into a new person and have no guilt. Heartbreaking!

[@deannarose9030]

Experienced this. Bizarre and horrible- I was a great wife (ie functional appliance) to him for nearly 3 decades. It would’ve been ok to be treated like trash, but he treated me like a bug to be destroyed. Evil is what they are.

[@lynshively5980]

I am attempting to detach now, before he knows I have. Took 40 years to start. Prayers up please and ty

[@ruthdavies7995]

Stay strong. You deserve better

[@americanaboy3581]

how did it go ? @lynshively5980

[@ameliagentry4452]

Prayers

[@estherclark820]

Sometimes it can be essential to them, to maintain their idealized victim status while to pushing you away, they can be experts at contorting reality and making it seem to others as if you had pushed them away. It can get pretty messy, but one has to disregard the opinions of friends and family who can't see through the deception and demonize the rejected "play toy", moving on to new ones. The hardest part for me was fear for whoever would be next. No use agonizing, I decided, my own recovery was paramount. Love your content!

[@vanessak7069]

My nervous system and body are not the same after only 2 months. Do not underestimate them please. I am grieving my old self heavily

[@shr1mppoboi950]

Right there without you. Who I was before this past winter is a completely different person.

[@vanessak7069]

@@shr1mppoboi950 how can we heal this?

[@shr1mppoboi950]

@vanessak7069 very deep introspection, acceptance for what happened, and self forgiveness for any shame, guilt, or violation you feel about the situation and the repercussions. Understand that abusers like these have many layers of their reality that they must heal before comprehending why they treat others badly. Recognize that they are suffering too but have the compassion to walk away so you can live a better life without their unhealed negative energy.

[@vanessak7069]

@@shr1mppoboi950 um revenge feels a lot better tbh

[@shr1mppoboi950]

@@vanessak7069 go off I guess

[@m.o.s.h.1836]

they can't trash a good person because the goodness of that person keeps haunting and regretting throughout their life.😳

[@ashton1952]

True, they make us stronger empaths. We see their brokenness inside, and don't let them pull us into that.

[@carolynforge8586]

But they try hard.

[@aleesheee]

It’s cruel and evil. I’ve been extremely used up and am very trapped in my situation. I have severe chronic illness and a high special needs young son and can’t look after him on my own. its excruciatingly hard and I’m a huge empath loving and caring person. Unimaginable pain 💔😭

[@lynnecox6431]

wishing you all the best in life ❤

[@aleesheee]

@@lynnecox6431 aww thank you so much for your kindness and well wishes 🙏🥰❤️ this made me smile ☺️ Sending warm hugs and a life full of happiness your way!

[@guidance2517]

No problem with the narcissist pushing his victim away. The victim was anticipating this and it was actually a blessing as his victim doesn't feel for him anymore. He was actually doing a big favour to his victim by discarding her. That helped her to open her eyes not to be manipulated by him anymore. His victim has gone back to her peaceful life and very happy about it.

[@blessedvorgar1]

Exactly ! I know I have been living a very peaceful life since my trashy ex took himself out

[@Sofia.K.CheerYT]

Now the funny magic trick is that if you dont react as they want you to, if you ghost and ignore... you will watch them grow anxious and come chasing you like crazy, im dead serious and its happening as we speak lool

[@She_898]

Yeah. Funny thing I actually apologizeed for ghosting them They oh never

[@Canwegetawhoohoo]

Nah mine just got new supply.( if he didn't already

[@JenniferSzentmiklossy]

My experience exactly. I was married for 24 years and raised six children in which 3 were from another woman. I also worked a 6 figure job only to come home to serve this man. He had a spending problem and when money got impossibly tight he eventually pushed me away so hard that it turned to physical abuse. I eventually fled with my daughter who is his ex girlfriend’s child who I am currently raising on my own. I later found out he had a whole other family and it all made sense why he didn’t want or need us anymore. It was heart wrenching.

[@Hammondchris]

He states truth absolutely. "Unless you are offering complete blind submission" like in the begining, happy, wanting to love and be loved into a train wrecking mess completely defeated. They never wanted to "love and be loved" only someone to "use up" devalue and control, they wanted combat, I was only his opponent. No you cant love them enough, you can never be enough for them at anytime. Run save yourselves! Learn from people like this beautiful soul who already was crucified for us, it doesn't need to be painful but, they'll make it beyond agonizing. I'm spent from it and wouldn't dream of going into another relationship. I may be alone and lonely but, not being abused emotionally, verbally, nor threatened and stabbed yet again in the back. I found I don't hate myself. Tx for these gems, you're a jewel thx for your help.

[@user-wp8rh6lx5h]

I remember asking him, "why do you treat me like I'm your enemy?"

[@pkarthikkumar5934]

​@@user-wp8rh6lx5hwhat he said???

[@karenthompson1337]

OMG. That’s what happened to me!! I thought I was crazy. Everyone thought he was the nicest, funniest guy

[@chikindonkee]

A "friend" had their mask slip a couple of times in front of me. The seething envy/jealousy and rage was all I needed to see in order to make my leave. The first time it happened, I let it go and thought they were just in a bad mood. The next time it happened, I knew better. Beware, the covert narcissist, is a nasty creature.

[@lisadevillers47]

He is RIGHT 100% ! Once you are used up and the narcissist found somebody new, they find so many ways to trash you

[@carolynforge8586]

You're at home minding your business and rebuilding your life and they're out there trashing you. That's when you really start to hate them.

[@Ultraroyal13]

They WANT to have the experience of pushing you away. WANT. I got away before that and have been flourishing, and he hates and tries everything to trash me, but cannot succeed. Man what a serious mental case

[@bam8039]

He nailed it in one of his videos where he said one of the reasons it is so hard to get over the hurt is called "bewilderment". It's hard to believe that someone you loved (and thought they loved you) could hurt you so much. This was eye opening to me! However, once you see their mask slip, the relationship is over. It will never be the same again. LEAVE!!!

[@LizaNaude]

I could never submit internally, so he trashed me to the point of making it obvious: “shut up, that is your opinion, and your opinion means f_ck-all’ Now I am trying to divorce him after 20 years of marriage. He progressed to a new level of deceit and nastiness. Pray for me please.

[@1missy40]

When you see em coming treat em accordingly 😊 run 🏃🏾‍♂️

[@pamelareinbrecht4875]

Don't let them win! Walk away before it gets to this point. Hold your head up high as you walk out.

[@victoriak.7750]

Did anyone else experience this? It seems like my covert narc sister sort of absorbed my positive qualities (sense of humour, strength, etc) and instilled her negative qualities into me (extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, co-dependence, lack of common sense). Like, it’s just bizarre to me how we’ve switched places. I’m now weak and she’s strong, but the difference is that when I was strong I supported her but now that I’m weak she’s discarded me. How do they do it? I can’t be the only one. Also, she basically copied the way I dress, do my hair, and all my hobbies.

[@abelsoliz5632]

I have 5 brothers. As I look back at the last 50 years it reads like a Cinderfella story. Four of them claim to love me but act as if they hate me.

[@alexasophieridderstrom2631]

I recommend the videos of Prof. Sam Vaknin. He explains the "how" neurologically. Very good videos.

[@donnakelley1202]

True. And it is so hard to be involved with such a person. My mother did this to me in many ways. It hurts. It really hurts. Thank you for your videos.

[@sharonegan5245]

It causes a "mother" wound 😢 but you must be so strong to have made it this far 💪

[@overlyprotectedbyGod]

You are sooooooo correct.. happening right now in my life. I overcame it.

[@matikramer9648]

🍀

[@rarelotus9737]

Mine too, I'm trying.🙏

[@lightweaverlisa]

When we were still dating he looked deep into my eyes one day and said something that at the time i took to be a sort of nerdy Star Trek but even kinda sexy thing.. he told me “You Will be assimilated” Smh It makes my blood run cold to think about it now He discarded me just after our 24th anniversary

[@sdeb3333]

Hugs ❤

[@pjmrees]

Something similar happened to me. My Nex of 23 years told me once he felt like I was inside of him. What? I asked him to explain and he wouldn't. I think he saw the shock on my face.

[@user-wp8rh6lx5h]

Wow ! I barely survived 3 years. He discarded me when I started resisting. He literally said to me, "you won't let me tame you!" Wtf

[@shirleychandler2780]

This has recently happened to me. The need for revenge is so strong it’s hard to deal with. I was completely and utterly betrayed.Dont know how to deal with it.

[@vanessak7069]

Same I feel you... I am not the same

[@peterbroom4286]

Turn to God completely, pray every day for him to help you, he will answer

[@not2longnow]

Same here. You have to educate yourself and not waste your energy. You now need to self love, self care and self healing. They will forever be miserable. You need to get on with your own path and be happy, as hard as it might be.

[@magpie1492]

Revenge won't help you. It will also continue to feed him, as he can see that he still has power over you and how you feel. The very best way to handle it is to rise above it, let him see that you are NOT bothered. Repair yourself and give thanks that you survived and it is over. Now that will REALLY annoy him x.

[@shirleychandler2780]

@@magpie1492 so they say, but after the betrayal I have nothing to loose. Once it was done THEN I could move on. Believe me, he deserves it.

[@hedonismbot3274]

My ex started saying things like "you hate old people" "i need someone who earns more" "you are arrogant and think you know everything" "i know smart people you are not one of them"... came after her last narcissistic rage. Still not sure how i triggered it but it lasted two weeks where she left this reality and built a new one.

[@sdeb3333]

They are lunatics. Period.

[@hashh2019]

similar n now i question my every thought n if im really cruel n arrogant.

[@user-wp8rh6lx5h]

They said these things to me too! When I got a higher paying job, they were furious, and said " I had changed!"

[@hedonismbot3274]

@@hashh2019 i thought long about it and then i understood. At first she said all the opposite things "you are so smart" "i can learn so much from you" she also knew i cared for my old neighbour. Later she said things like "i feel dumb when you talk haha". So she felt inferior. And that is the underlying oroblem with their narcissistic rage right ? They twist everything in such a way their fake persona is kept alive. I also asked friends about it and family members. How they think about me. But yeah in my heart i knew none of it was true and she just devalued me so she felt better. Will be the same for you. Self awareness is good tho. But I think you also know.

[@hedonismbot3274]

@@user-wp8rh6lx5h yeah because they felt inferior and had to keep their grandiose fale self intact. In reality they change not their partners. They are being eaten up by their insecurities and then the fake self kicks in.

[@alchemicalsoul]

I was able to catch a covert off guard after being reduced to a situationship several times, and my feelings disregarded after the discards. I finally said "thank you for letting me know where you stand, hope you find what you're looking for." Haven't heard from him in 10 months. When I saw him at an event he regarded me with ice coldness. You have to walk away first. Give them back their own trash.

[@nicholecornes1915]

They are out of their minds period

[@Ali-dm2iw]

Hold on to yourself, the knowledge of who you are - and what they are - and go no contact as much as possible. That’s the only way! No matter what they do, you know who you are and you’re just not engaging with them anymore bc you deserve better:)

[@AnnaNowakowska-wl4ws]

If I haven't experienced it myself, steo after step, I would not think situations like that happen between people.

[@vanessak7069]

Same

[@olivierroy1301]

IT HAPPENED TO ME. I worked for a friend for a year and he did exactly that with me. I think the "matrix simulation space" is a good description for where the narcissistic person agrees to see you.... it also tells that he's detached from whatever can be meaningful for something exterior to his scenario. He wants you to be in demise so that it doesn't fit with his vision, he is also unable to make the detachment in a coherent way so he provoques it in a way that won't disturb his world, he will justify it by making the other unworthy of being around. I'm just trying to complete the idea with my understanding, I'm not the expert. Your explaination helps me to say what I say.

[@caravb5906]

Spot on. You leave the relationship questioning why you allowed it and feeling dirty. You go through years of analysing and trying to understand why and punishing yourself for allowing it to happen and either a huge barrier goes up or because you are vulnerable another vampire zones in. Thank you xxx

[@silverlakegirl9078]

How can these people be so evil?

[@leighashaw2581]

I’ve never imagined that anyone else could describe the end of my marriage so simply and accurately

[@Darren-su2gm]

Everything is a competition with the Narcissist.She had to win everything.They almost want you to worship them and control everything and you.

[@carolkristian1146]

This is exactly what they do.

[@RainbowHarmony]

Currently healing after another round of narcissistic abuse. I’m so tired and exhausted, I lost my job because of it. I don’t know who I am anymore. Thankfully from the last time I know I will get better in time, and I know what tools to use to help myself and I know to just be patient with myself. I know I can use it as an opportunity to reinvent myself and take advantage of being a blank canvas again. I’m using it to help me purge old wounds and do more shadow work. But damn, I’m just so exhausted.

[@pryzmcat]

That's why they really love having masses of people paying attention to them, telling them how fantastic and great they are. They love being the center of attention, and playing the hero. Praise and adulation. And they are really good at playing roles. as long as you put them on a pedestal and give them praise, you are okay. But as soon as you unmask them, watch them start to seethe and examine you, looking to fidn a crack, and weakness they can find to devalue you and get you to respond. If others are watching they will condescendingly and gently scold you, to appear as though they are oh so compassionate, but when no one is looking they will let you know that you are now on thier radar for a smear campaign.

[@LifeinUs44]

"Complete Blind Submission " that HITS you in the CHEST !

[@spacegirl226]

That hurt. That's exactly what my ex husband did. I was nothing but trash in the end, and I took myself out. Ouch ouch ouch. Thanks, Richard.

[@maureenrowlett3923]

I felt this with every fibre of my being. Thank you. It was painful to hear your words, delivered with stark truth telling. That only made the real message completely soak in.

[@umbreon-wn2to]

I wentto the psych ward for 3 weeks cause of my ex. I was convinced i was the mentally abusive one and the one hurting everyone around me. He convinced me that i was these horrible things hed accuse me of. I got out and he said now youre fixed but i understood myself more being in there. I didnt know i was pregnant until i got out and he was so happy to build a life with me All of these were just lies he told me. He realized that he couldn't control me like he used to. This baby inside gave me the power to walk away. I saw what a potential life with him would be. The last straw was his making an argument out of nothing and saying i was the one starting the fight. I got very tired of this stress so i said to leave me alone and i need peace during my pregnancy. He spouted all these ugly things towards me accusing me of cheating and him not being the father. Him telling me to get rid of this baby for him so we can start over with our relationship. And him telling me i cannot do this alone and he will come back for his baby and take it from me. I said stay away and do not come back. Filed a r.o against me for harassment but is upset i finally stood my ground. The ultimate victim is my baby and his other 2 kids he has no custody of. He posted our texts publicly and told everyone im the toxic ex gf thats taking his baby away. I dont care what he thinks or his friends. The truth always comes out and i dont need to prove myself to these people.

[@Laughing-doves]

Its been nine years in May since I cut them all off - and I am just now feeling genuinely free - really free - I allowed myself to feel the lose, the disappointment, the reality that they are sick and were never there for me ever. It's true they needed for me to be trash and when that hit me - I cut it off for good and I cannot say it was ot very difficilt but nine years later I am free - I can now enjoy my life fully. Amen.

[@utebretthauer4264]

I left HIM, that shattered this bastard.

[@resolutebelle8761]

Congrats! I did too. The optimal narc injury! 😂 He asked me if I was lesbian, as if THAT was the only explanation why I would leave him. Pitiful sod!

[@utebretthauer4264]

@@resolutebelle8761 Well done! Mine went to a psychiatric hospital, narcissist breakdown. Well, the devil always burns himself on Gods light!

[@resolutebelle8761]

@@utebretthauer4264 🙌🏻 Shine sweet freedom!

[@utebretthauer4264]

@@resolutebelle8761 Sweet as honey, thank you, you too! All the best to you!

[@kaitlyngault3987]

Hateful people. You let them win.

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

That final devaluation really nasty stuff is the part of themselves they really hate, that they project on to you, its pretty horrific, but do not take its personally as its not about you.

[@1phoenix346]

Wow, that’s exactly what I have experienced from several people like this. It’s horrendous. Pure evil. I heard once long ago that evil pursues goodness so that it can destroy it. That’s it in a nutshell.

[@moniqueteal7153]

This is happening now ...big time !! He needs to destroy my character and any memory of me needs to be twisted into a bad representation of the truth .... it's despicable

[@sweettee8110]

Whatever you do, don't waste your energy in trying to defend yourself. Let those who choose to side with him do just that. Continue being you and move on. It's not easy, but it can be done. I've been divorced from mine for almost 4 years. He's still running a smear campaign. I'm finally at the point in my healing where I laugh at it and keep moving forward.

[@valiakloeppel7252]

Yes. Devalue phase. The longer it lasts, the more prideful they get. But, at some time (maybe when youre needed again became they are at odds with everyone else) they come back. This cycle is nonstop- they never take accountability. You have to be totally on their side.

[@juliadean2473]

Yep. All to true and chaos and mayhem if one tries to prove it.

[@elanabethfariss117]

That is so true! First you must need them because of how amazing they are, then they spit you out.

[@emmarae4322]

The devaluing is so cruel and heartless. I never experienced such cruelty from another person.

[@johannpfouche]

Thank you Richard. I am involved with a covert narcissist. Now I understand why my FB pics are no longer liked, and why I am always given an excuse from them not to attend activities that are important to me. My conclusion was that I'm being groomed to leave and move on. Now I understand. I am in the process of being discarded of. Eye-opening!

[@user-wp8rh6lx5h]

Yes, please do. This happened to me as well. No more Fb messages. Cancelling on me the day of going to an event because they ate too much popcorn (which they knew caused them an upset stomach) & not bothering to tell me until I was dressed and ready for him to pick me up. I called, "hey are you almost here"? I'm in a loving relationship now and can't really think back on this one too much or I'll spiral.

[@johannpfouche]

@@user-wp8rh6lx5h A big hug from me!

[@guidinglightorphansinc.5255]

Am counting 16 days before I find my freedom 🎉

[@lindafarwell3408]

They aren't fully human. So hard to fully accept

[@Blessed591]

Fortunately, I saw that coming and left him . . . He didn't see that coming . . . Strangely enough , my blessings started flowing when I left him . Got a better job , am in better health , looking good too . . . I really don't give 2 farts what he does . . . And he knows that very well . . . He is in isolation of shame and embarrassment . He cannot explain to people why a lady like myself left him . . . What we do to others , we are doing to ourselves. Life is a game of boomerangs. . .

[@karlataylor1172]

Their pathology is so exhausting.

[@n.b.0212]

Yes it is. Everything about them is intense.

[@sandville2396]

This is scary accurate.

[@MissTwiggy]

This is such a relief because it dead on answers all the questions I never go to ask the narcissist.

[@twilfits]

They want to have the experience of PUSHING YOU AWAY wow powerful.

[@octoberdawn1087]

He pushed me away, trashed me, smeared me, the whole thing, then BEGGED me to come back. I was too submissive before we escaped but i was scared. I think he just wanted me back to hurt me.

[@Willie82720]

That's the part i will never understand why try to hurt me when I wanted to love him😟

[@user-wp8rh6lx5h]

He did. I fell for it! Even as I was sitting on that table hearing him tell me how about a conversation he had with my cousin's husband.....where he was smearing me! When he discarded me and my fudged up self decided to meet up, he told me he had spoken to everyone, his mom, friends and they'd all asked him WHY he was with such a HORRIBLE person as me that didn't treat him well. Ha! He smeared me until the very end! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Insane.

[@andreariegler]

Have experienced this with family and a toxic boss. When I reached the pinnacle of indifference, I pulled reverse discard and completely cut them off as I knew I had outlived my usefulness with them. I refuse to set myself on fire to keep them warm. Thanks for this valuable insight

[@madness6436]

Narcissists are boring. Always saying the same phrases and telling the same "jokes", always criticising other people, always forcing you to listen to the same crap, always playing the same mind games without even remembering they've done it a million times! They can't even see how tedious they are.. So I really hope they believe I'm trash if that will stop them from coming back to play the same boring game over and over again.. Dear narcissist, knowing that you are so much superior to me, it should be very easy for you to get over me. Move on and be happy! With love..

[@merin797]

Boom. Mic drop.😊

[@codybachschmid6665]

Just know, you have helped my family a lot. My children from my first marriage have a malignant narcissist mother, and so does my wife. Your talks have helped them to see what they’re dealing with more clearly.

[@cmstockleonarte3109]

It is very sad when you are put through this by your ex-partner, but your son is doing exactly the same, i. e. 'like father like son'... and I thought, this was all just theoretical stuff within human psychology. I was proven wrong big time, but I hope that my children and I will be able to heal slowly, but surely due to living in the real World and not in the other person's world, build on their fakeness and lies. Health, peacefulness, positivity and strength to all the healing 'Warriors' out there 🙏😇🥰!!!!

[@matikramer9648]

Amen and amen

[@ROSS4422]

I went thru this exactly. Her discard phase was such a focused attack on my worth. I saw what was happening and stopped displaying emotion, just packed up my stuff. She wrote insulting phrases on the boxes, then broke my phone camera so I couldn't document it. Then she thought we would still hang out! I told her bluntly that she was a narcissist and she'd never see or hear from me again. No contact.

[@Giz187]

Story of my life women using till a better option comes along then they jump ship.. It's sad. Because they end up contacting me like a year later like I'll just be like oh hey thanks for coming back

[@jedihljones8574]

Yes and the affects are astounding when you dont realize. Please know that anyone making you fight for you, feel down etc isnt meant for you. ❤ Dont play into their game. Walk away and allow the cleansing to begin as you move on.

[@sandyhenry3238]

100% true.. Divorcing one and he is holding it up by extremely low balling me. Like he wants the rest of my life to be in poverty after I gave up everything to have a family

[@BlakeA-j6x]

lmao reducing the oldest human relationship concept aka marriage which exists literally only for success of.child down to a business deal is WILD lady

[@p.s.6674]

Drained me financially and then devalued and discarded me when I had nothing left to offer them while getting with their new supply.

[@sandracrandall4561]

Brilliantly defined!! 👍