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@blatherskyt4 ай бұрын
This guy gets it. If you have ever been in a serious relationship with a covert narcissist… you know he gets it.
@Uniule4 ай бұрын
100% , brother/sister. He described the experience perfectly.
@Clevelandsteamer3244 ай бұрын
They must smear you
@SophiaBro4 ай бұрын
💯
@bratbalal90424 ай бұрын
He gets it to the core, there is a possibility that we can hurt narcissist in their world
@Librarian3224 ай бұрын
They smear so that no one will contact you to find out who that person REALLY is IS!
@raincat33Ай бұрын
When they're beginning to devalue you they have already found somebody else
@queenb3088Күн бұрын
@@raincat33 more than likely they've had someone else all along. They don't permanently get rid of anyone. They just shelf people and then rotate and triangulate. You have to decide to stay No Contact and move on with your life.
@incognito5954 ай бұрын
Especially if you CONFRONT THEIR LIES, ABUSE, BULLYING, INVALIDATION, INSULTS, ETC.
@not2longnow3 ай бұрын
🎯🔥
@incognito5953 ай бұрын
And went and stole what little was left of the Trust that my father left me. She did that because she Coerced me into signing a POA.She will Answer to the Authorities for the lies and deceit.
@melisentiapheiffer30343 ай бұрын
I'm using my God voice to pathologize his loss of self-control whenever he rages when I have done something good. I'm pointing out his loss of control versus my emotional control by not reacting at all. When I don't react, that means I'm in control.
@aliyahadaanni2 ай бұрын
Oh yeah then they play the ' victim card '. The ' I was vulnerable " card. The " you persued me" card. Manipulative clowns
@NaturalLifestyleLoungeАй бұрын
You just summed up a very complex situation that has unfortunately happened to me. I don’t have a psychology degree to figure out why the things were done to me, but you just put it simply.
@chocolatecookie85714 ай бұрын
OMG, that sounds like a horror movie. Oh wait.... I was in it.
@kathleendubois71284 ай бұрын
So weird. I would watch that on TV and find it ridiculous and slightly unbelievable till it happened to me. I could not believe it. Sending all strength and good wishes to you. So sorry you also had this experience
@chocolatecookie85714 ай бұрын
@@kathleendubois7128 thank you, that is very kind of you. It was a good horror movie though 😅😂 And sorry to hear that you experienced the same torture. Unlike the theatre, this is the real thing. What hurts me most probably is the loss of time. When you grow older you lose possibilities and strength, etc. Okay, let's see if we can turn this scary movie into a more fun one, hihi.
@kathleendubois71284 ай бұрын
@chocolatecookie8571 absolutely! Time to rewrite the script!
@janetkendle20734 ай бұрын
Me TOO!!!
@kathleendubois71284 ай бұрын
@@janetkendle2073 commiserations to you, hope the days start getting better as you put this behind you
@user-jo1de4po6d4 ай бұрын
They want to make you trash and then they are frustrated you are not allowing yourself to become trash, and by doing that they end up being trash
@LaMesaC4 ай бұрын
YEP!!
@Apocalyptiseptical3 ай бұрын
Wow 🤯
@elisaplugaru85023 күн бұрын
The best answer to this video.
@adolcristin352610 күн бұрын
Nothing more horrible than a person that has nothing but wishes to abuse and hurt you
@significantlyintentional6 күн бұрын
With trash * they already are trash lol
@laney31824 ай бұрын
I’ve been through the “discard” phase. Very dark and purely evil. It guts you like a fish and leaves you dead for the vultures to pick your flesh.
@gandawesley58704 ай бұрын
I have not been thru the discard phase. It sounds horrific to the soul. I left BEFORE being discarded by him. So glad I walked away. My gosh....
@neveragain7334 ай бұрын
This is exactly how i feel. Its a wonder im still alive.
@Turin_Turumba4 ай бұрын
@@gandawesley5870 It's a horrible experience, and what's worse is the fact that they know they're hurting you and they thoroughly enjoy it
@palapalak.89074 ай бұрын
I turned to Jesus. So happy. He's in a cult...and does not believe it. So sad. Another religion...
@donnasmolokoff87604 ай бұрын
It’s so crazy true !! I swear, this is exactly what they do and how you are left feeling . Complete abuse !!
@erikagrove50074 ай бұрын
That is why you have to go complete NO CONTACT
@magpie14923 ай бұрын
Definitely, don't give them an inch because they will find a way of hurting you again.
@daker1941Ай бұрын
😂No Contact works until you have to cooperate in order to equally divide the assets remaining from the wreckage of your marriage-insane!
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
Then let them talk.
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
@@daker1941 That's handled between attorneys.
@staciecarlson1914 күн бұрын
I have. For 20 years. Still bothers me deeply.
@shalasharify863Ай бұрын
This guy knows what he is talking about. He gets it so well.
@ohyeah29514 ай бұрын
💯 they only frame you as ‘good’ again when they need something from you. Otherwise they paint you as the worst person ever and themselves as an altruistic person who was wronged. Aka professional victims.
@Clevelandsteamer3244 ай бұрын
You are describing “splitting”
@sdeb33334 ай бұрын
Ah! Professional victim! Couldn't be more appropriate! ❤
@helenmcclay26224 ай бұрын
I was hoovered for one night
@martinmartin90843 ай бұрын
To the point 100%. They cheer you on when they need your help, when they feel any less than great, you are wortless to them. It is this extreme imbalance in the personality.
@user-jp5zm5jh6b12 сағат бұрын
Exactly!!
@southernbelladonna782 ай бұрын
Hearing that phrase...."to absorb you".... I felt a cold shiver. Like a parasite just eating my soul. 😮
@ritapeters133021 күн бұрын
They eat your soul 😢
@snowmiaow20 күн бұрын
It feels like that. Funny, my narc partner mentioned that exact phrase referring to how I looked after visiting with my father.
@JaquelineGoodspeed17 күн бұрын
Energy stealers.
@clairexxx04054 ай бұрын
It's a very dangerous relationship and if the narcissist does a good job on you, you'll never be the same again.
@faddy244 ай бұрын
Yes if they break your spirit then it's almost impossible to ever be who you once were.
@sara.e.11114 ай бұрын
This! I think my spirit is close to broken and I don't think I will ever trust another human again 😔
@WhenWordsFailMe4 ай бұрын
Or, if you learn and grow from it, you can be better and stronger and wiser than you ever were before. The process was painful and devastating, but I did come out stronger.
@lemaxx26384 ай бұрын
They can push you to suicide
@guitarlessonswithbillythek87534 ай бұрын
Jeez, I’m toast then. It was only a six month relationship, I just can’t believe how it has changed me wtf
@simjam19803 ай бұрын
And if you are silly enough to give them complete blind submission, they'll lose respect for you and dump you anyway.
@matikramer96483 ай бұрын
Did to me twice First my mom, second my ex
@VeganLife-mn1jp2 ай бұрын
Came here to say this. Even when you give them complete blind submission, they start to hate you anyway.
@MiaK06Ай бұрын
This!!!!!
@andrewsmith3257Ай бұрын
@@VeganLife-mn1jp not only that but your health could be in a life threatening situation and they won't have any empathy at all. Even if it's a Narc parent
@ascendbylaurenadamsАй бұрын
THIS
@bam80394 ай бұрын
"Done your job, used you up." Then they throw you out like trash.
@daisyh84814 ай бұрын
I walked away and blocked him when he wasn’t expecting it. I really enjoyed that
@K.M.2324Ай бұрын
I also blocked a narcissist....one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
@poetsrear25 күн бұрын
@@K.M.2324OR you're both the narcissist itself. We can't tell and neither can the narc.
@darriuspeterson91653 күн бұрын
Blocked a narc and gave myself my power back.
@theoriginal77273 ай бұрын
They go into such a rage if they are the ones that get shut down, put in check and pushed out.
@btac6481Ай бұрын
Its kinda easy to fig out a lie with a covert narc. Aside from her lips are moving, the rage flares up like gas on a bonfire the closer to the truth you get. Its dangerous though cuz they just amp up the passive aggresive behavior and gaslighting.
@upshikagatlewar9807Ай бұрын
I'm 30 now but i was a cry baby who was exhausted and took years to heal. But 1 realization that changed my mindset was that the narcs were always happy. I was like no, if nobody gave me love, i will give myself selflove and be happier than everyone around me coz that's what i deserve. Everyday i work on myself, eat good, exercise, do yoga, take divine guidance by asking for help. I've honestly surrendered to my creator, that's how i live well. Knowing that i have a friend and a protector by my side. Knowing that I'm safe and not spending any more time wasting my energy thinking about the narc. I guarantee you it is possible to heal, you have the best of days ahead. More power to you ❤
@Potato-fv9ns4 ай бұрын
I left my ex. Escaped actually. I just let him vilify and degrade me and didn't bother arguing. He can say whatever lies hes wants i just want him to go away. He can have his false narrative i can have my life.
@river77324 ай бұрын
Good thinking, well done getting your life back!
@user-us3st8qu2h4 ай бұрын
Wise and prudent choice, you know better, God knows and may bless you!!! 🙏🙏🙏
@Potato-fv9ns4 ай бұрын
@@user-us3st8qu2h it took 15 years to get there and a lot of trauma. Unfortunately. But I'm grateful I'm out as much as I can be.
@bygraceandmercy4 ай бұрын
'He can have his false narrative and I can have my life ' That right there is a profound statement 👏
@floravalle16254 ай бұрын
Finally, left him too. I have my power back.
@queenb30884 ай бұрын
YES, YES, YES! This is the BEST explanation of the relationship and discard that I've heard. He tried SO HARD to make me trash... accusing me of things that he KNEW I'd never done, but it made him feel better, although he KNEW it wasn't true. So, as he was raging about his narcissistic mother, I finally asked, "So, what have I done to you?" And all he could say was, "Nothing... I'm just sick of you!" He just couldn't stand my goodness... and that he couldn't break me. It infuriated him! What a demon!
@rubydeep11914 ай бұрын
Why do they hang around then?
@mercedesbella77094 ай бұрын
It's so true, they have nothing but contempt for our goodness.
@queenb30884 ай бұрын
@@rubydeep1191because there's something that they need from you.
@not2longnow3 ай бұрын
Because your still a source of 'supply'. They put you on a pedestal for as and when required. Plus they can't be on their own. Its a complete mess.
@rubydeep11913 ай бұрын
@@not2longnow why cant they be on their own?
@justme12692 ай бұрын
I promise you this is the truth. They will work behind the scenes and lie to their family, your family, friends, and coworkers to defame your character. Their entire mental disorder is so unbelievable and so difficult to fathom that it is the exact reason it makes it one of the most sinister mental disorder. It will make you stay longer and ALWAYS question yourself, not them.
@369-b1f14 күн бұрын
@@justme1269 insidious it is.. sinisterily insidious
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
It's a type of insanity that's based on needing to destroy you.
@JKB-ji6xl4 ай бұрын
They make you their receptacle if you let them, empty their garbage into you, then when you're used up, push you away & call you "trash". Thanks Mr. Grannon.
@MichelleECKHU84 ай бұрын
So true! I took him into my heart, home and life. Helped him to get back on his feet physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially and I am certain he is telling his next victim that I was awful and did horrible things. He is a very sick man and I’m so happy to be away from him finally. I will never allow another man in who needs so much help ever again.
@floravalle16254 ай бұрын
They always have a sad story.
@Gabby07704 ай бұрын
Same...
@MichelleECKHU84 ай бұрын
@@floravalle1625 I didn’t know that. Truly I thought that someone with NPD would be bragging… I learned the hard way. Sounds like you did too
@MichelleECKHU84 ай бұрын
@@Gabby0770 sorry you went through that
@stephanieburgess82173 ай бұрын
Same
@Turin_Turumba4 ай бұрын
It's beyond repulsive , I'd never believe it if I hadn't experienced it, rejecting my ex narcs hoover was the best revenge lol her outrage was surreal
@beautimo84824 ай бұрын
Can I ask you in what way you rejected it? I guess I will have to face that sooner or later and I want it to be as effective as possible.
@AndrewDaniele87Ай бұрын
@beautimo8482 just don't reply to any messages from them, leave them on read, don't answer any of their calls too
@michalos_skruberix27 күн бұрын
@@beautimo8482yup. The same as above comments plus i've rejected to answer even one word, even in social setting. I Just raised my hand in 'stop' gesture and Walked away when approach.
@queenb31844 ай бұрын
Narcissists are demons, only a demon would be that evil.😱
@mainerockflour34624 ай бұрын
They are demons. The indigenous people call them skinwalkers. Some can become portals for others. They are what controls this world, or more accurately, matrix. Call in your archangels to surround them with Light. Visualization is very powerful. Jesus said, "Be it according to your belief." It is God's Light that neutralize their evil❤
@Sarah-with-an-H4 ай бұрын
Narcissism doesn't mean evil, but pop psychology has convinced everyone it is. I just want to point out that this kind of thing is magical thinking and isn't that very narcissistic.
@prorok214 ай бұрын
Apage Satanas 😂
@sarajanewebster53214 ай бұрын
It’s a deeply-seated trauma response, done by adult humans. I would advise against vilifying other people, it makes it easier to de-humanize them.
@StalkedHuman3 ай бұрын
It's Satan
@OxyRay-ms8bm4 ай бұрын
So important to stay high value, hold onto that self worth, run the second you have an opportunity, go no contact. Contact is their oxygen.
@donnasloan24553 ай бұрын
You can get along fine with a narcissist - all you have to do, is agree with their lies.
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
Accept their BS.
@foreveryoung64643 күн бұрын
Yes cause they want a slave. Just a crazy person. Run
@debbielove5993Ай бұрын
I just went through this! He hates me now because I wouldn't completely submit to him and his perverse desires. 😢
@alexasophieridderstrom2631Ай бұрын
It's not "you" he hates. He hates the "inobedient version of you" that won't do what he wants it to do. He cannot see YOU. It's is not personal. Please don"t take it "personal". It is never about YOU, but about the "shared fantasy" not working, because you left the shared fantasy. (acc. to Prof. Sam Vaknin). ❤
@darriuspeterson91653 күн бұрын
@@alexasophieridderstrom2631yes he hates not being able to control you
@Rawkstar22103 күн бұрын
Same happened here. Smear campaign from hell. But I survived. And you will too. ❤
@daviedood25034 ай бұрын
Do what they say when they say it. No questions asked. If they want to sleep w someone else. Say ok no problem and if they infect you, it's also your fault. Ur just a doormat to them. 🙄🔥 Get some dignity and self worth people geez 😬🔥
@shr1mppoboi9504 ай бұрын
I remember when I was being intimate with my ex one night back when we were together. she was leaving love bites on my neck and I didn't think too much of it at the time, "im a vampire" she said with a smile... what followed in those two months after was the most unimaginable emotional/mental anguish of my life. Confusion, desperation for the truth, betrayal and feeling like a dog left on the street. Let us never forget what these people do to us...
@simjam19802 ай бұрын
Mine used to call herself a vampire too. They ARE vampires... empty and soulless.
@bvhia2 ай бұрын
She wasnt lying
@annesworld40072 ай бұрын
They always call themselves vampire or werewolf
@schoolofgrowthhackingАй бұрын
What happened during those two months?
@michalos_skruberix27 күн бұрын
Yes. I like to label 'mine' a parasite rather than vampire. Vampire is powerful but parasite is Just disgusting worm eating trash. 😅
@skinnybear57434 ай бұрын
A user by any other name is still a user.
@matiasmariani084 ай бұрын
Yes. Yes. Yes. Truth, indeed. Unfortunately, as a victim you don't realize that you're the victim until they start the process of evisceration you while leading other to belive that they are the victim.
@nellynelly82034 ай бұрын
then when you move on to a new life with new hobbies they're in the bushes
@LimitlessThinker2 ай бұрын
It's exactly what happens. It's shocking how they switch into a new person and have no guilt. Heartbreaking!
@deannarose90304 ай бұрын
Experienced this. Bizarre and horrible- I was a great wife (ie functional appliance) to him for nearly 3 decades. It would’ve been ok to be treated like trash, but he treated me like a bug to be destroyed. Evil is what they are.
@lynshively59804 ай бұрын
I am attempting to detach now, before he knows I have. Took 40 years to start. Prayers up please and ty
@ruthdavies79952 ай бұрын
Stay strong. You deserve better
@americanaboy3581Ай бұрын
how did it go ? @lynshively5980
@ameliagentry44525 күн бұрын
Prayers
@estherclark8204 ай бұрын
Sometimes it can be essential to them, to maintain their idealized victim status while to pushing you away, they can be experts at contorting reality and making it seem to others as if you had pushed them away. It can get pretty messy, but one has to disregard the opinions of friends and family who can't see through the deception and demonize the rejected "play toy", moving on to new ones. The hardest part for me was fear for whoever would be next. No use agonizing, I decided, my own recovery was paramount. Love your content!
@vanessak70694 ай бұрын
My nervous system and body are not the same after only 2 months. Do not underestimate them please. I am grieving my old self heavily
@shr1mppoboi9504 ай бұрын
Right there without you. Who I was before this past winter is a completely different person.
@vanessak70693 ай бұрын
@@shr1mppoboi950 how can we heal this?
@shr1mppoboi9503 ай бұрын
@vanessak7069 very deep introspection, acceptance for what happened, and self forgiveness for any shame, guilt, or violation you feel about the situation and the repercussions. Understand that abusers like these have many layers of their reality that they must heal before comprehending why they treat others badly. Recognize that they are suffering too but have the compassion to walk away so you can live a better life without their unhealed negative energy.
@vanessak70693 ай бұрын
@@shr1mppoboi950 um revenge feels a lot better tbh
@shr1mppoboi9503 ай бұрын
@@vanessak7069 go off I guess
@m.o.s.h.18362 ай бұрын
they can't trash a good person because the goodness of that person keeps haunting and regretting throughout their life.😳
@ashton1952Ай бұрын
True, they make us stronger empaths. We see their brokenness inside, and don't let them pull us into that.
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
But they try hard.
@aleesheee3 ай бұрын
It’s cruel and evil. I’ve been extremely used up and am very trapped in my situation. I have severe chronic illness and a high special needs young son and can’t look after him on my own. its excruciatingly hard and I’m a huge empath loving and caring person. Unimaginable pain 💔😭
@lynnecox64312 ай бұрын
wishing you all the best in life ❤
@aleesheeeАй бұрын
@@lynnecox6431 aww thank you so much for your kindness and well wishes 🙏🥰❤️ this made me smile ☺️ Sending warm hugs and a life full of happiness your way!
@guidance251712 күн бұрын
No problem with the narcissist pushing his victim away. The victim was anticipating this and it was actually a blessing as his victim doesn't feel for him anymore. He was actually doing a big favour to his victim by discarding her. That helped her to open her eyes not to be manipulated by him anymore. His victim has gone back to her peaceful life and very happy about it.
@blessedvorgar15 күн бұрын
Exactly ! I know I have been living a very peaceful life since my trashy ex took himself out
@Sofia.K.CheerYT3 ай бұрын
Now the funny magic trick is that if you dont react as they want you to, if you ghost and ignore... you will watch them grow anxious and come chasing you like crazy, im dead serious and its happening as we speak lool
@She_898Ай бұрын
Yeah. Funny thing I actually apologizeed for ghosting them They oh never
@Canwegetawhoohoo18 күн бұрын
Nah mine just got new supply.( if he didn't already
@JenniferSzentmiklossy2 ай бұрын
My experience exactly. I was married for 24 years and raised six children in which 3 were from another woman. I also worked a 6 figure job only to come home to serve this man. He had a spending problem and when money got impossibly tight he eventually pushed me away so hard that it turned to physical abuse. I eventually fled with my daughter who is his ex girlfriend’s child who I am currently raising on my own. I later found out he had a whole other family and it all made sense why he didn’t want or need us anymore. It was heart wrenching.
@Hammondchris4 ай бұрын
He states truth absolutely. "Unless you are offering complete blind submission" like in the begining, happy, wanting to love and be loved into a train wrecking mess completely defeated. They never wanted to "love and be loved" only someone to "use up" devalue and control, they wanted combat, I was only his opponent. No you cant love them enough, you can never be enough for them at anytime. Run save yourselves! Learn from people like this beautiful soul who already was crucified for us, it doesn't need to be painful but, they'll make it beyond agonizing. I'm spent from it and wouldn't dream of going into another relationship. I may be alone and lonely but, not being abused emotionally, verbally, nor threatened and stabbed yet again in the back. I found I don't hate myself. Tx for these gems, you're a jewel thx for your help.
@user-wp8rh6lx5h4 ай бұрын
I remember asking him, "why do you treat me like I'm your enemy?"
@pkarthikkumar5934Ай бұрын
@@user-wp8rh6lx5hwhat he said???
@karenthompson13372 ай бұрын
OMG. That’s what happened to me!! I thought I was crazy. Everyone thought he was the nicest, funniest guy
@chikindonkeeАй бұрын
A "friend" had their mask slip a couple of times in front of me. The seething envy/jealousy and rage was all I needed to see in order to make my leave. The first time it happened, I let it go and thought they were just in a bad mood. The next time it happened, I knew better. Beware, the covert narcissist, is a nasty creature.
@lisadevillers47Ай бұрын
He is RIGHT 100% ! Once you are used up and the narcissist found somebody new, they find so many ways to trash you
@carolynforge85867 күн бұрын
You're at home minding your business and rebuilding your life and they're out there trashing you. That's when you really start to hate them.
@Ultraroyal13Ай бұрын
They WANT to have the experience of pushing you away. WANT. I got away before that and have been flourishing, and he hates and tries everything to trash me, but cannot succeed. Man what a serious mental case
@bam80394 ай бұрын
He nailed it in one of his videos where he said one of the reasons it is so hard to get over the hurt is called "bewilderment". It's hard to believe that someone you loved (and thought they loved you) could hurt you so much. This was eye opening to me! However, once you see their mask slip, the relationship is over. It will never be the same again. LEAVE!!!
@LizaNaude4 ай бұрын
I could never submit internally, so he trashed me to the point of making it obvious: “shut up, that is your opinion, and your opinion means f_ck-all’ Now I am trying to divorce him after 20 years of marriage. He progressed to a new level of deceit and nastiness. Pray for me please.
@1missy403 ай бұрын
When you see em coming treat em accordingly 😊 run 🏃🏾♂️
@pamelareinbrecht48752 ай бұрын
Don't let them win! Walk away before it gets to this point. Hold your head up high as you walk out.
@victoriak.77504 ай бұрын
Did anyone else experience this? It seems like my covert narc sister sort of absorbed my positive qualities (sense of humour, strength, etc) and instilled her negative qualities into me (extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, co-dependence, lack of common sense). Like, it’s just bizarre to me how we’ve switched places. I’m now weak and she’s strong, but the difference is that when I was strong I supported her but now that I’m weak she’s discarded me. How do they do it? I can’t be the only one. Also, she basically copied the way I dress, do my hair, and all my hobbies.
@abelsoliz56322 ай бұрын
I have 5 brothers. As I look back at the last 50 years it reads like a Cinderfella story. Four of them claim to love me but act as if they hate me.
@alexasophieridderstrom2631Ай бұрын
I recommend the videos of Prof. Sam Vaknin. He explains the "how" neurologically. Very good videos.
@donnakelley12024 ай бұрын
True. And it is so hard to be involved with such a person. My mother did this to me in many ways. It hurts. It really hurts. Thank you for your videos.
@sharonegan52454 ай бұрын
It causes a "mother" wound 😢 but you must be so strong to have made it this far 💪
@overlyprotectedbyGod3 ай бұрын
You are sooooooo correct.. happening right now in my life. I overcame it.
@matikramer96483 ай бұрын
🍀
@rarelotus97373 ай бұрын
Mine too, I'm trying.🙏
@lightweaverlisa4 ай бұрын
When we were still dating he looked deep into my eyes one day and said something that at the time i took to be a sort of nerdy Star Trek but even kinda sexy thing.. he told me “You Will be assimilated” Smh It makes my blood run cold to think about it now He discarded me just after our 24th anniversary
@sdeb33334 ай бұрын
Hugs ❤
@pjmrees4 ай бұрын
Something similar happened to me. My Nex of 23 years told me once he felt like I was inside of him. What? I asked him to explain and he wouldn't. I think he saw the shock on my face.
@user-wp8rh6lx5h4 ай бұрын
Wow ! I barely survived 3 years. He discarded me when I started resisting. He literally said to me, "you won't let me tame you!" Wtf
@shirleychandler27804 ай бұрын
This has recently happened to me. The need for revenge is so strong it’s hard to deal with. I was completely and utterly betrayed.Dont know how to deal with it.
@vanessak70694 ай бұрын
Same I feel you... I am not the same
@peterbroom42864 ай бұрын
Turn to God completely, pray every day for him to help you, he will answer
@not2longnow3 ай бұрын
Same here. You have to educate yourself and not waste your energy. You now need to self love, self care and self healing. They will forever be miserable. You need to get on with your own path and be happy, as hard as it might be.
@magpie14923 ай бұрын
Revenge won't help you. It will also continue to feed him, as he can see that he still has power over you and how you feel. The very best way to handle it is to rise above it, let him see that you are NOT bothered. Repair yourself and give thanks that you survived and it is over. Now that will REALLY annoy him x.
@shirleychandler27803 ай бұрын
@@magpie1492 so they say, but after the betrayal I have nothing to loose. Once it was done THEN I could move on. Believe me, he deserves it.
@hedonismbot32744 ай бұрын
My ex started saying things like "you hate old people" "i need someone who earns more" "you are arrogant and think you know everything" "i know smart people you are not one of them"... came after her last narcissistic rage. Still not sure how i triggered it but it lasted two weeks where she left this reality and built a new one.
@sdeb33334 ай бұрын
They are lunatics. Period.
@hashh20194 ай бұрын
similar n now i question my every thought n if im really cruel n arrogant.
@user-wp8rh6lx5h4 ай бұрын
They said these things to me too! When I got a higher paying job, they were furious, and said " I had changed!"
@hedonismbot32744 ай бұрын
@@hashh2019 i thought long about it and then i understood. At first she said all the opposite things "you are so smart" "i can learn so much from you" she also knew i cared for my old neighbour. Later she said things like "i feel dumb when you talk haha". So she felt inferior. And that is the underlying oroblem with their narcissistic rage right ? They twist everything in such a way their fake persona is kept alive. I also asked friends about it and family members. How they think about me. But yeah in my heart i knew none of it was true and she just devalued me so she felt better. Will be the same for you. Self awareness is good tho. But I think you also know.
@hedonismbot32744 ай бұрын
@@user-wp8rh6lx5h yeah because they felt inferior and had to keep their grandiose fale self intact. In reality they change not their partners. They are being eaten up by their insecurities and then the fake self kicks in.
@alchemicalsoul3 ай бұрын
I was able to catch a covert off guard after being reduced to a situationship several times, and my feelings disregarded after the discards. I finally said "thank you for letting me know where you stand, hope you find what you're looking for." Haven't heard from him in 10 months. When I saw him at an event he regarded me with ice coldness. You have to walk away first. Give them back their own trash.
@nicholecornes1915Ай бұрын
They are out of their minds period
@Ali-dm2iw4 ай бұрын
Hold on to yourself, the knowledge of who you are - and what they are - and go no contact as much as possible. That’s the only way! No matter what they do, you know who you are and you’re just not engaging with them anymore bc you deserve better:)
@AnnaNowakowska-wl4ws4 ай бұрын
If I haven't experienced it myself, steo after step, I would not think situations like that happen between people.
@vanessak70694 ай бұрын
Same
@olivierroy13014 ай бұрын
IT HAPPENED TO ME. I worked for a friend for a year and he did exactly that with me. I think the "matrix simulation space" is a good description for where the narcissistic person agrees to see you.... it also tells that he's detached from whatever can be meaningful for something exterior to his scenario. He wants you to be in demise so that it doesn't fit with his vision, he is also unable to make the detachment in a coherent way so he provoques it in a way that won't disturb his world, he will justify it by making the other unworthy of being around. I'm just trying to complete the idea with my understanding, I'm not the expert. Your explaination helps me to say what I say.
@caravb59063 ай бұрын
Spot on. You leave the relationship questioning why you allowed it and feeling dirty. You go through years of analysing and trying to understand why and punishing yourself for allowing it to happen and either a huge barrier goes up or because you are vulnerable another vampire zones in. Thank you xxx
@silverlakegirl90784 ай бұрын
How can these people be so evil?
@leighashaw258112 күн бұрын
I’ve never imagined that anyone else could describe the end of my marriage so simply and accurately
@Darren-su2gm2 ай бұрын
Everything is a competition with the Narcissist.She had to win everything.They almost want you to worship them and control everything and you.
@carolkristian11462 ай бұрын
This is exactly what they do.
@RainbowHarmony3 ай бұрын
Currently healing after another round of narcissistic abuse. I’m so tired and exhausted, I lost my job because of it. I don’t know who I am anymore. Thankfully from the last time I know I will get better in time, and I know what tools to use to help myself and I know to just be patient with myself. I know I can use it as an opportunity to reinvent myself and take advantage of being a blank canvas again. I’m using it to help me purge old wounds and do more shadow work. But damn, I’m just so exhausted.
@pryzmcat2 ай бұрын
That's why they really love having masses of people paying attention to them, telling them how fantastic and great they are. They love being the center of attention, and playing the hero. Praise and adulation. And they are really good at playing roles. as long as you put them on a pedestal and give them praise, you are okay. But as soon as you unmask them, watch them start to seethe and examine you, looking to fidn a crack, and weakness they can find to devalue you and get you to respond. If others are watching they will condescendingly and gently scold you, to appear as though they are oh so compassionate, but when no one is looking they will let you know that you are now on thier radar for a smear campaign.
@LifeinUs443 ай бұрын
"Complete Blind Submission " that HITS you in the CHEST !
@spacegirl2264 ай бұрын
That hurt. That's exactly what my ex husband did. I was nothing but trash in the end, and I took myself out. Ouch ouch ouch. Thanks, Richard.
@maureenrowlett39234 ай бұрын
I felt this with every fibre of my being. Thank you. It was painful to hear your words, delivered with stark truth telling. That only made the real message completely soak in.
@umbreon-wn2to3 ай бұрын
I wentto the psych ward for 3 weeks cause of my ex. I was convinced i was the mentally abusive one and the one hurting everyone around me. He convinced me that i was these horrible things hed accuse me of. I got out and he said now youre fixed but i understood myself more being in there. I didnt know i was pregnant until i got out and he was so happy to build a life with me All of these were just lies he told me. He realized that he couldn't control me like he used to. This baby inside gave me the power to walk away. I saw what a potential life with him would be. The last straw was his making an argument out of nothing and saying i was the one starting the fight. I got very tired of this stress so i said to leave me alone and i need peace during my pregnancy. He spouted all these ugly things towards me accusing me of cheating and him not being the father. Him telling me to get rid of this baby for him so we can start over with our relationship. And him telling me i cannot do this alone and he will come back for his baby and take it from me. I said stay away and do not come back. Filed a r.o against me for harassment but is upset i finally stood my ground. The ultimate victim is my baby and his other 2 kids he has no custody of. He posted our texts publicly and told everyone im the toxic ex gf thats taking his baby away. I dont care what he thinks or his friends. The truth always comes out and i dont need to prove myself to these people.
@Laughing-doves4 ай бұрын
Its been nine years in May since I cut them all off - and I am just now feeling genuinely free - really free - I allowed myself to feel the lose, the disappointment, the reality that they are sick and were never there for me ever. It's true they needed for me to be trash and when that hit me - I cut it off for good and I cannot say it was ot very difficilt but nine years later I am free - I can now enjoy my life fully. Amen.
@utebretthauer42644 ай бұрын
I left HIM, that shattered this bastard.
@resolutebelle87614 ай бұрын
Congrats! I did too. The optimal narc injury! 😂 He asked me if I was lesbian, as if THAT was the only explanation why I would leave him. Pitiful sod!
@utebretthauer42644 ай бұрын
@@resolutebelle8761 Well done! Mine went to a psychiatric hospital, narcissist breakdown. Well, the devil always burns himself on Gods light!
@resolutebelle87614 ай бұрын
@@utebretthauer4264 🙌🏻 Shine sweet freedom!
@utebretthauer42644 ай бұрын
@@resolutebelle8761 Sweet as honey, thank you, you too! All the best to you!
@kaitlyngault39872 ай бұрын
Hateful people. You let them win.
@amandajohnson-williams7718Ай бұрын
That final devaluation really nasty stuff is the part of themselves they really hate, that they project on to you, its pretty horrific, but do not take its personally as its not about you.
@1phoenix3462 ай бұрын
Wow, that’s exactly what I have experienced from several people like this. It’s horrendous. Pure evil. I heard once long ago that evil pursues goodness so that it can destroy it. That’s it in a nutshell.
@moniqueteal71534 ай бұрын
This is happening now ...big time !! He needs to destroy my character and any memory of me needs to be twisted into a bad representation of the truth .... it's despicable
@sweettee81103 ай бұрын
Whatever you do, don't waste your energy in trying to defend yourself. Let those who choose to side with him do just that. Continue being you and move on. It's not easy, but it can be done. I've been divorced from mine for almost 4 years. He's still running a smear campaign. I'm finally at the point in my healing where I laugh at it and keep moving forward.
@valiakloeppel72523 ай бұрын
Yes. Devalue phase. The longer it lasts, the more prideful they get. But, at some time (maybe when youre needed again became they are at odds with everyone else) they come back. This cycle is nonstop- they never take accountability. You have to be totally on their side.
@juliadean24734 ай бұрын
Yep. All to true and chaos and mayhem if one tries to prove it.
@elanabethfariss1172 ай бұрын
That is so true! First you must need them because of how amazing they are, then they spit you out.
@emmarae43222 ай бұрын
The devaluing is so cruel and heartless. I never experienced such cruelty from another person.
@johannpfouche4 ай бұрын
Thank you Richard. I am involved with a covert narcissist. Now I understand why my FB pics are no longer liked, and why I am always given an excuse from them not to attend activities that are important to me. My conclusion was that I'm being groomed to leave and move on. Now I understand. I am in the process of being discarded of. Eye-opening!
@user-wp8rh6lx5h4 ай бұрын
Yes, please do. This happened to me as well. No more Fb messages. Cancelling on me the day of going to an event because they ate too much popcorn (which they knew caused them an upset stomach) & not bothering to tell me until I was dressed and ready for him to pick me up. I called, "hey are you almost here"? I'm in a loving relationship now and can't really think back on this one too much or I'll spiral.
@johannpfouche4 ай бұрын
@@user-wp8rh6lx5h A big hug from me!
@guidinglightorphansinc.52552 ай бұрын
Am counting 16 days before I find my freedom 🎉
@lindafarwell34084 ай бұрын
They aren't fully human. So hard to fully accept
@Blessed5913 ай бұрын
Fortunately, I saw that coming and left him . . . He didn't see that coming . . . Strangely enough , my blessings started flowing when I left him . Got a better job , am in better health , looking good too . . . I really don't give 2 farts what he does . . . And he knows that very well . . . He is in isolation of shame and embarrassment . He cannot explain to people why a lady like myself left him . . . What we do to others , we are doing to ourselves. Life is a game of boomerangs. . .
@karlataylor11723 ай бұрын
Their pathology is so exhausting.
@n.b.02122 ай бұрын
Yes it is. Everything about them is intense.
@sandville239629 күн бұрын
This is scary accurate.
@MissTwiggy4 ай бұрын
This is such a relief because it dead on answers all the questions I never go to ask the narcissist.
@twilfits4 ай бұрын
They want to have the experience of PUSHING YOU AWAY wow powerful.
@octoberdawn10874 ай бұрын
He pushed me away, trashed me, smeared me, the whole thing, then BEGGED me to come back. I was too submissive before we escaped but i was scared. I think he just wanted me back to hurt me.
@Willie827204 ай бұрын
That's the part i will never understand why try to hurt me when I wanted to love him😟
@user-wp8rh6lx5h4 ай бұрын
He did. I fell for it! Even as I was sitting on that table hearing him tell me how about a conversation he had with my cousin's husband.....where he was smearing me! When he discarded me and my fudged up self decided to meet up, he told me he had spoken to everyone, his mom, friends and they'd all asked him WHY he was with such a HORRIBLE person as me that didn't treat him well. Ha! He smeared me until the very end! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Insane.
@andreariegler3 ай бұрын
Have experienced this with family and a toxic boss. When I reached the pinnacle of indifference, I pulled reverse discard and completely cut them off as I knew I had outlived my usefulness with them. I refuse to set myself on fire to keep them warm. Thanks for this valuable insight
@madness6436Ай бұрын
Narcissists are boring. Always saying the same phrases and telling the same "jokes", always criticising other people, always forcing you to listen to the same crap, always playing the same mind games without even remembering they've done it a million times! They can't even see how tedious they are.. So I really hope they believe I'm trash if that will stop them from coming back to play the same boring game over and over again.. Dear narcissist, knowing that you are so much superior to me, it should be very easy for you to get over me. Move on and be happy! With love..
@merin7973 күн бұрын
Boom. Mic drop.😊
@codybachschmid6665Ай бұрын
Just know, you have helped my family a lot. My children from my first marriage have a malignant narcissist mother, and so does my wife. Your talks have helped them to see what they’re dealing with more clearly.
@cmstockleonarte31093 ай бұрын
It is very sad when you are put through this by your ex-partner, but your son is doing exactly the same, i. e. 'like father like son'... and I thought, this was all just theoretical stuff within human psychology. I was proven wrong big time, but I hope that my children and I will be able to heal slowly, but surely due to living in the real World and not in the other person's world, build on their fakeness and lies. Health, peacefulness, positivity and strength to all the healing 'Warriors' out there 🙏😇🥰!!!!
@matikramer96483 ай бұрын
Amen and amen
@ROSS442223 күн бұрын
I went thru this exactly. Her discard phase was such a focused attack on my worth. I saw what was happening and stopped displaying emotion, just packed up my stuff. She wrote insulting phrases on the boxes, then broke my phone camera so I couldn't document it. Then she thought we would still hang out! I told her bluntly that she was a narcissist and she'd never see or hear from me again. No contact.
@Giz1874 ай бұрын
Story of my life women using till a better option comes along then they jump ship.. It's sad. Because they end up contacting me like a year later like I'll just be like oh hey thanks for coming back
@jedihljones85742 ай бұрын
Yes and the affects are astounding when you dont realize. Please know that anyone making you fight for you, feel down etc isnt meant for you. ❤ Dont play into their game. Walk away and allow the cleansing to begin as you move on.
@sandyhenry32384 ай бұрын
100% true.. Divorcing one and he is holding it up by extremely low balling me. Like he wants the rest of my life to be in poverty after I gave up everything to have a family
@BlakeA-j6x24 күн бұрын
lmao reducing the oldest human relationship concept aka marriage which exists literally only for success of.child down to a business deal is WILD lady
@p.s.6674Ай бұрын
Drained me financially and then devalued and discarded me when I had nothing left to offer them while getting with their new supply.