why nice girls finish last.

Hi my lovessss!! Hope you enjoyed this episode of my video podcast Leahlations.
Join me as we uncover the truth behind being overly agreeable and having a lack of boundaries a.k.a playing the role of the "nice girl". Together we explore how it can hold you back and discover the empowering path of shedding the "nice girl" label. From friendships to romance, we'll navigate the negative impact of excessive agreeability and learn the art of setting clear boundaries.
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[@tasharhodes1592]

Best gem for setting boundaries (energetic, consumption, conversational) I love this. 1) identify the boundary 2) communicate the boundary 3) don’t over explain- be direct and clear 4) set consequences if boundaries are not set

[@lybo1581]

"Don't over explain, be direct and clear" I do really need to work on that...

[@ZenSei03042]

Thats so maskuline. And the video is to

[@mermaidmoongoddess]

@@ZenSei03042😂

[@ReeMoni24]

Ladies. This is true. Stop being “nice” and stand up for your boundaries. Unfortunately many see nice as opportunity for abuse, neglect, and disrespect.

[@serenhex]

It’s so disorienting. Makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong, but you’re just standing firm on your boundaries and people are being confrontational about that. Disrespectful.

[@shalbec3232]

You can be nice without being walked over lol😂

[@yasmines329]

thank you so much for making this video because I’m so done being the nice girl. I’ve been learning on building a backbone so I can stop being used.

[@theleahalexander]

I believe in you 🫶🏾🫶🏾

[@lixandraspartan5355]

Girl both of us. It’s like we missed a class growing up that everyone else took

[@Myaccount923]

@@lixandraspartan5355I used to feel that way too then I quickly realized how miserable a lot of people are. So don’t blame yourself or internalize it, you’re simply not jaded.

[@lorrainedaloba7292]

I disagree, I feel like being nice and being a pushover are two different things. You can be nice and have a backbone. I'm gonna describe me for example, I'm nice to whoever but if they don't do the same in return or start acting two face, saying slick comments or just not appreciating my niceness, I cut them off and never speak to them again. But then again I haven't watched the video yet so she might mention it later on in the video (only at 2:44 mark).

[@jujubee2903]

I dimmed my light a long time ago because I was tired of being bullied. Now that I'm older, I realize I was around a bunch of jealous people. But I will admit, opening up again and regaining my confidence has not been an easy journey.

[@serenhex]

“You give respect to yourself to get respect from others.” I’m living by that now. Thank you

[@emmanouelakt]

so true! realising that being "nice" is the fakest you can be and so selfish. and then you wonder why you're all of a sudden in situations where you blame everyone for your destiny and then you act like the victim - you choose your reality, you choose what's ok and what's not ok. no longer interested in being nice. it took a while but i'm grateful for the people who are teaching me how to be a b*tch and set boundaries. no more pity, no more guilt or shame no more people pleasing. ew.

[@theleahalexander]

Ew is right!! 🤣💕

[@HenrySimmons1225]

Being nice is a good thing, wtf? Grow up. You can be nice and have boundaries at the same time.

[@jewelesealoba4470]

The worst part of being a “nice girl “ is that you feel bad like before doing anything you care about other people’s feelings and you are even willing to like compromise your own peace for them but they would never do that for you and it’s so so draining .

[@theleahalexander]

Only do those things for people who reciprocate that energy to avoid being drained.

[@angelglowstudios1454]

It all stems from childhood trauma. When I got over my people pleasing after years I realized I’m not nice and I’m a little mean and passive aggressive which I’m working on. But if rather show the mean side because it gets me what I want and let ppl know to not mess with me. From jump.

[@krissyaguilar1814]

Same!!

[@KayLombo]

This !!!!!

[@AD-cs6rp]

I am so happy you did this topic. I’ve struggled with the nice girl syndrome. I either kept the peace at the expense of being disrespected or blew up and acted a fool. I’ve improved through deliberate change. I’m turning 34 next month and didn’t master balance in my 20’s.

[@theleahalexander]

That’s growth !!♥️

[@LakiaS-pb5nw]

Same, ill be 34 this month. Its never too late for us. Im so glad the younger generation is learning this stuff early.

[@heyalexiajanee]

Don't feel bad, I'm just now working on this at 44. Serial people pleaser over here😂

[@nursefaithimani]

What steps did you take?

[@niablee]

The ‘Nice Girl’ persona is definitely a patriarchal trap to keep women in line & subservient! It feels VERY in line with being a ‘Pick Me’ too. Having respect, boundaries and expectations will help YOU go far! Be kind with discernment & you’ll find your people by just being YOU ❤️

[@marshallosantos9035]

Only your demographic has this outlook and issue. The other races do not have this. Think about that.

[@jenana6882]

@@marshallosantos9035that’s because things are different everywhere and America isn’t the first to break away from men’s oppression. Other countries will eventually do the same

[@scorpionic3303]

@@marshallosantos9035Pretending that “nice girls” dont exist within different races/countries etc, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. May the “nice girls” and pick me’s in every corner of the world be freed.

[@DesertShadowWarriorQueen]

Absolutely! And it's a crucial element of religious indoctrination which is just another a facet of this patriarchal Reich.

[@niablee]

@@DesertShadowWarriorQueenTALK ABOUT IT 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@thebestgirlsever100]

as a recovering people pleaser I really appreciated this , I def hit extremes in the process so this also helped me to understand what it means to not only have boundaries but to also respect others’ !!

[@aidasall4815]

Learned this the hard way. Also, if it’s too hard for you to set boundaries (which is a skill you NEED to eventually learn), learn to DISTANCE !!! & don’t look back !!!

[@tasharriel]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I FINALLY FEEL SEEN!!! It’s not an intentional behavior, it’s a trauma response & it has a slew of negative consequences

[@Datb2]

This was a hard pill to swallow when you realize so call friends just used you

[@bambirose1111]

I used to be a NOT nice girl, but in the last few years i’ve tried so so so hard to be a “nice girl”. Mainly because I thought that I would somehow become more positive and happy if I was nice. And that other people would be nice to me automatically if I was a nice girl, and radiated that energy. But this has led me to loose my confidence and become more insecure, since i’m always thinking about how to be a nice girl and this perfect snow white princess. I honestly thought that my life would become better and good things would come to my life if I was… nicer. Looking back now, my life was so much better when I was not trying to be nice. I REALLY needed to hear this. I need to stop trying to fight my natural NOT NICE personality. I’m kind but i’m not nice, period. Thank you

[@nicholej]

I’ve been being a nice girl for 29 years I’m done being a nice girl it didn’t get me not a damn thing I’m telling you Queen is absolutely right 2024 is my year to the end of being a nice girl I’m FINISHED ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@daisycharlise]

Whew as a girl who entered her soft era and believed I had to be nice this video spoke to me. I just got to the point where I learned nice girls truly finish last, to be soft you need boundaries! I’ll make a video on response to this and tag you cause I agree!

[@SONYARenee]

I’ve never been a people pleaser individual, some think I’m nice, some believe I’m mean. I don’t always speak to people I don’t know, people who has met me think I’m stuck up, bougie, or whatever. None of those are realistic characteristics of who I am. I’m shy , quiet at times and if I don’t know you, I won’t engage a conversation even in a group of people. This comes from anxiety among other things, yet I work a government job where I interact with people daily and I speak and greet people even if that do not speak back. Does it causes me anxiety of course. I’m not speaking to appease , to make conversation. Only to be polite and I’m at work.

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

Being too much of a nice girl got me guys that I was not attracted to and the guys that I was attracted to I got used by them because I never put my foot down. I mean be a respectable girl but don't be too nice to the point where you don't have respect for yourself and ignoring the red flags because you think you can fix everybody.

[@IyeshaB]

I don’t even know how describe the way I’ve dimmed my light for YEARS because of not responding to my inner compass. It’s the saddest thing to see pieces of yourself chipped away bit by bit yearly. Fast forward, I’m in a situation that’s totally against who I am, and what I desire for my life, in all aspects. This video was needed. Thanks!

[@keyanasmith131]

I’ve always wanted to be a femme fatale but I just realized that’s not me. I’m friendly and bubbly but I want to be able to express my personality without being taken advantage of because men really target me as someone weak they can get over on and combined w trauma and not having any experience w relationships/ never being anyone’s choice has allowed them to do that more easily. I want to know what I can do to still be happy and bubbly without ppl thinking I’m weak or without actually being weak.

[@theleahalexander]

I have some suggestions for you , tune into the next episode 💕

[@NoRockinMansLand]

​@@theleahalexander set reasonable boundaries and don't be scared when they're broken, it's a simple way to avoid being a pushover. And it's not a man thing, bad people regardless of gender tend to want to take advantage of people they deem as pushovers

[@nunasunshine]

Remember being nice is an action, being kind is a personality trait. Be bubbly with boundaries. The same way you’re vocal while being friendly, be vocal when you feel like someone is overstepping your boundaries.

[@corlineblair4960]

Excellent video. I already knew most of these things because of life lessons, but to hear again makes me understand that I'm not mean for having high standards and boundaries. When you don't know your worth or who you are people will take advantage of you. But they can't when you know better. Thanks girl❤

[@kristinecarreon1411]

the "nice" guy actually used me, the "bad" guy was the good guy, he was honest and said it right away what he wanted, the nice guy was beating around the bush so i told him I'm sick of phony lies boy bye.

[@ucheibegbulem]

This is very true. Being nice has gotten me disrespected so much. However, God has been really working on me in this isolation season to learn to set boundaries and be firm in my boundaries. I’ve cut off a lot of disrespectful people who treated me poorly, and I feel at peace more. I’m a little lonely but it’s currently me and God right now on this journey, so I know I’ll be ok 😊

[@blackhorusblackhorus7683]

you’re such a breath of fresh air in this youtube community. Many times have I seen similar statements being made however they would never go in depth as your videos. I’m really glad I stumbled onto your page as I think many girls NEED this advice as it’s nothing that doesn’t get addressed as maybe sexual education -as an example- every girl needs to hear this to protect herself and be equipped to handle social situations on a daily basis! Keep doing these videos, you have my support👏🏻❤️❤️❤️

[@Jorishan]

As a retired nice girl. She’s right 😂. That ish get you disrespected man.

[@Slim.01x]

FACTS !

[@itscozykita]

I am literally in tears writing this..being the nice girl truly does suck and it really does take you to a low place. I have been that girl for far too long and I am so tired.. tired of being overlooked, used, unappreciated and discarded. I’m really going to take the next six months to pour so much love into myself. Set boundaries, say no, stop giving away my time and knowledge for free and really be the me I’ve always wanted to be. Who sticks up for herself and doesn’t feel guilty or anxious for doing so. Thank you so much for this tough love. I needed to hear it. He doesn’t want the nice girl, he wants the b!t¢h and that’s just the reality of it. I too experienced people just using me for who I know and it’s been so prevalent recently as I am growing in the creator space. You have to keep solid boundaries and be able to discern as you said in a more recent video. I am taking all of this and putting it into action!

[@kostantinakaras9559]

Thank you so so much for this. ❤This is A GEM of advice. Notes: 1) another intense negative symptom is the immense anxiety and body pain that people pleasers experience. I have felt so disgustingly awful, being always short on breath, having intense belly aches, for hours on end, when being with other people, because I felt I had to fake my way through the whole thing. That was detrimental and unfair to me, while others enjoyed their time on earth. 2) if all goes "wrong" and all people leave your life, at least we have our own circle of understanding, healing people pleasers to support one another. We are here for you. ❤

[@alana9533]

I really needed to hear this ❤ one of my goals for 2024 is stop being so nice. I’m so glad this popped up on my feed

[@ria8894]

SAID IT ALL!! thank u for putting all this into words. i have just realized this has been how i have been living mmy life and it's like i finally opened my eyes

[@tiffanyhall3227]

Being the nurse girl definitely leads to burn out!! I’m so glad you did a video on this and pointed that out. It’s not worth effecting your mental health. Stand your ground.

[@LadiiNiqueMT]

Gurl you channel is about to be HUGE!! Keep doing what you’re doing!! Thank you so much for putting this out there! The way you explained this is TOP TIER!! 💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯🎯

[@divinetaylor9357]

Leah?! LEEAAAHHHHH 👏🏼 thank you angel i needed that slap in the face truly. I drain tf outta myself trying to make everyone in the room happy and wondering why no one does that for me?? GIRL. I gotta do that for my damn self before ANYTHING. You also made me realize i am kind with conditions and THAT AINT KIND BABY. Thank you thank you thank you 🩷 keep up the blessings and they will continue to come to you ten fold

[@aeslehc7]

Your verbal articulation in this video is superb you said everything that I’ve been thinking 💕 I threw away the whole nice girl bullsh*t years ago. I love it here 😂 people don’t play with me and if they try they will get clocked ⏰ simple

[@LANDSCAPERSCOVE]

Frrrrrrrr I can’t agree more!!!

[@kimya_speaks]

🔮🔮🔮 I'm in tears, Cuz this is all true. I Have Alot of work to do on myself, but I'm Pretty sure I'm NOT as stupid as I use to be. Thank you for this, Some of us Really didn't understand this concept at a young (enough) age. Much Love to you, Leah 💜💜💜 💕

[@sherzijournal]

Learned this the hard way. Being a nice girl only gets you drained,disrespected,and unappreciated. Express your self COMPLETELY. Your emotions and thoughts are part of self expression. Love this!❤

[@deajenaecarter7043]

I so appreciate you touching on this topic. I’m coming out that childish delulu mentality and wondering why am I so fear based, why do I have such low self esteem. It’s cus I’m out here being nice! Ha! Giving myself permission to set new standards for relating and thriving in life - effective today ✨

[@OverKillJill]

I love the points that this video mentions about the symptoms that comes along with not being assertive and setting boundaries. I am a nice girl but I am the nice girl that you should not take kindness for weakness because you will f around and find out ❤

[@SweetpeaC]

I was def a people pleaser and it stemmed from my childhood indeed. However, I’ve learned to enforce my boundaries but I’m working on being more direct without being rude about it. It’s hard though lol

[@theleahalexander]

See how you’ve learned to enforce boundaries! You’re more than capable of learning to be more direct while remaining kind

[@k..l-8818]

I used to be a big people pleaser and would almost always get treated unfairly! Now that I have a back bone thanks to the Lord, Jesus Christ! I know my self worth now! ❤

[@danielleking8520]

How did you get a backbone? What prayer did you use or say rather to stop being a people pleaser?

[@trafficcontrol2420]

As someone who is doing the most for her boyfriend (cooking, cleaning, folding his clothes, all dat) and this ninja still hitting up girls online...stop immediately. They don't care.

[@honks9484]

Don’t matter if you still with him. He still got the upper hand cause you’re allowing him to play you like a dummy😂

[@Datb2]

Wyd???

[@whereisshaylam1089]

@@honks9484likeee🤣

[@whereisshaylam1089]

I hope u broke up w him😂

[@milana2020]

You left him right?

[@Bresha_________]

This video resonates so much. The self expression and dealing with insecure people peers or older is so real. Been dealing with that since I was a child. Have always been told “be nice” when I’m being real. My ex even made a nickname for me “BreNice” No ima keep it real but deliver the message respectfully and have boundaries. It helps everyone around me, they’ll realize it one day 😂

[@teeeee6106]

Omg this was a wake up call , I feel so embarrassed 😭thanksss girl

[@ohmenae]

definitely learning how to turn myself being the "nice girl" to being the " kind girl". Learning the difference between the two, nice is letting everyone else emotions or actions above your own verses a kind girl is still being nice but having your own boundaries and not allowing people to walk all over you.

[@JaydaT_]

I’m literally crying typing this 😢 thank you❤

[@_o_o_x]

Yes this and am done being a “cool” girl. Now I have to balance not being so nice/cool uncaring with being overly assertive/ protective of myself

[@chikondimachemba1949]

Anybody else find her podcasts so calming 😊?

[@daniella.555]

I think mental health has a lot to do with it. Getting the help you need can put an end to so much negativity in your life. Some of this resonates with me so it’s good. ☺️

[@Janiqua_Dominique]

Thank you for breaking down the boundaries part. I’m always told I need to set boundaries, but really never knew how. This was perfect. ❤

[@BriannaM-r2v]

Loved this, truly needed this!

[@poojaadhikary810]

Oh my god you deseve a million followers. Your advice are to the point and much better than those fake life gurus.

[@nakdd7768]

I appreciate this whole video. From the context to how well spoken & put together you are. It makes me think about how deep rooted this is. Think about babies. Theyre favorite word is NO! and the first thing we say is ... dont tell me No (lol) were changing the narrative n I love it

[@theleahalexander]

Exactly !! I’m so glad you’ve found this useful 💕

[@mariaelenahkp]

Girl I knew you were talking to me at some points when it was hitting a nerve and I was like …Hey let’s just take it easy 🤔😭… But your delivery isn’t super soft, padded and sugarcoated … It’s facts over feelings and I had to be above my initial feelings and reactions … And that’s hard for me with my mental conditions lol… But just hearing some of your points made my brain feel lighter, cleaner, and quieter .. Even though I know these things already … Sometimes you just gotta hear it from a like minded, calm stranger .. Thank you .. What I think is funny is my friend, who is a man (we also recently started talking about being romantic), was a bigger pushover than I was and recently I was telling him about how he’s so much better at saying no .. He’s got more confidence and boundaries, really getting his life together not putting his life on pause anymore and it’s causing me to be attracted to him in a way I haven’t before… It feels like we’re growing together and it’s beautiful especially since we were both the doormats in our own lives. You don’t have to be a slave to be nice .. Being uncomfortable all the time just so others can be comfortable is not the way .. Facts over feelings, needs before wants, and health and peace over all.. 🤍🤍🤍

[@truthorlies5282]

Preach, i learned and ppl thoight i was nice, now they mad and hate you cause you wont allow yourself to be abused and used

[@ms.wealthyy]

winners sit with winners, period!!!!

[@veronicajata3121]

Period!!! This is such a good way to put it

[@NallahBrown]

This is such an important girl talk. You delivered it well! 👏🏿

[@neqwise2641]

U said EXACTLY what happened to me. He used and abused and was on to the one that had boundaries. Lesson learned but wish I knew before wasting time and energy.

[@radeeyah-x7r]

This was great information. I haven’t watched a hour video in a while. Thank you for making this easy to listen to and straight to the point.

[@theleahalexander]

You’re welcome 🥰 thank you for watching!

[@4LADYSWEET]

You are absolutely STUNNING!!

[@ashleysalazar2012]

Push overs finish last and being a push over definitely doesn't necessarily mean you're a nice person. Just an insecure door mat.

[@str4wbry_e]

damnnnn this is too real!! love you leah, you're like an older sister to me

[@theleahalexander]

🤍🤍

[@CinemaDoll137]

I bottle up my feelings often. People have proven to me that when I'm able to stand up for myself, that they will deflect and tell me to apologize for telling them that they hurt my feelings. I don't give a shit anymore. If I'm a bitch for setting boundaries then that is what I will be and I won't be apologizing anymore.

[@Theonlydarlinn]

Hiii🩷 I lovedddd this topic!! I’m a retiring nice girl and this was nothing but facts, for the next video can you talk about starting a KZbin channel, starting a brand, getting the audience to build a platform. Love your content!!🫂💐

[@olivia4319]

I really loved this video! It was informative, motivating, and reassuring 💞. I love taking advice from a pretty girl

[@mis___read]

🔥🔥🔥Girl can you do a video on being "Too pretty to fight" and descalation tactics when setting your boundaries with people who have nothing to lose? Bc fighting is my last resort and ppl really be dyin over insecure ppl having a false sense or pride/a point to prove.

[@jordynrayshon]

girl i LOVED this video and i love your channel! these tips were much needed❤

[@sadityravenn]

this healed me omg

[@ViaSonovia]

Thank you for this, I definitely struggled with this for a while and now I have set a boundary and people have been in their feelings and I do not care!

[@weluvnya]

I’ve just recently came to her conclusion that I’m a “nice girl” and it explains a lot 😕

[@LANDSCAPERSCOVE]

Yah u need more views and subscribers cause what!?? You’re speaking the truth!!

[@betterdanu1000]

This video is a GEM! You’re beautiful, great message

[@princessdellz]

OMG i feel so embarrassed watching this video. I can’t believe myself , but thanks for talking some sense into me because whew! 😮‍💨

[@BlingBLING-u3c]

im glad this came across my page , as soon as u give them the same enrgy back youre the bad guyy ! facts & i dont MIND being the villian now TFFFF!

[@lothedon]

Nice people are people pleasers. It took me 33 years to figure this out. Now I’m kind. Not nice.

[@gracegesora254]

I loved this so much😭❤very minute of it

[@aliyahbrown4838]

Girlll, you said a mouth fullll! This video was so on point

[@kerensita9760]

I love you girl. You are a friend in my head and I appreciate you so much ❤

[@justkristen_]

Girl I was not expecting this but it's the truth.

[@andjelabozic2317]

Why is it that being nice is seen as a need for validation? I've honestly always been overly sensitive and, therefore, overly empathetic and tried to be nice and pleasant. It wasn't because I was "fake" or "sought" attention. But you are right about this, people see it as something to exploit until they're emotionally recharged and then leave you once you serve no purpose. I've been feeling extremely apathetic and hateful lately, so I've stopped interacting with people. Anyway, you can think whatever you want. This society is built on narcissism. You either play the game or you don't.

[@alfonsomendozaarreola7017]

Nice girls finish in peace but still may get discredited in the process without ever backstabbing, stalking, cheating, or anything. Karma is real thats why it's important to do it right all the time.

[@lytanay5737]

It’s so much I can say about this video but to sum it up in two words, informative and funny ❤ definitely needed this sis!

[@armanijeton2839]

I didn’t know how much I needed this video. Thank you

[@Datb2]

Someone actually said I need to be a nicer. That’s when I knew I needed to change. Not nice by Megan will get you right

[@HJazminmona3]

Thank you ❣️ I love this video, I like your personality and I like how stern you are while delivering the message pleasantly 💕

[@Cavallicore]

thank you for sharing this !!! as a recovering people pleaser i came across this at the right time 🥰 new subscriber 💕💕

[@444erna]

at first this video triggered me because you mentioned a lot of things that i do, that another girl i use to compare myself doesn’t do. but i am reflecting on myself and my limiting beliefs and negativity towards myself and trying to turn this into a positive. this is something i can learn from, not resent myself for because even when i was a people pleaser it came from a genuinely good place.

[@theleahalexander]

Yes yes yes!! Love how you’re taking a look at your behaviors and using what you don’t like as an opportunity for growth. You just displayed self awareness, self acceptance, and radical self responsibility. Prada you!!

[@444erna]

@@theleahalexander - thank you💕💕

[@pradagorl]

i felt this whole thing in my CORE, thank you so so much for grounding insight

[@shanteree]

Glad you made this video ❤the old me was the nice girl!

[@primrosa9859]

I need some advice. I'm 19 and have been trying to improve my communication skills.. setting boundaries have always been difficult because I'm valuing another person over myself. My boyfriend, in the past he's been on and off and I was tired of it. I put my foot down and left for about a good year for good. But then he came back saying he was changed. A boundary that I've been trying to place is. Hey, when you make a mean joke like this, it makes me feel sad. Could you not make jokes like directed towards me? And his response is something among the lines of, you keep trying to change me. Like I'm not some doll. And ultimately makes me feel worse for even bringing it up. And how I'm always complaining now. Any advice please!

[@theleahalexander]

I’ll answer your question at the end of the next episode when I do Q&A’s ! 🤍

[@LynnGirl16]

10 secs in and I’m subscribing, Queen ❤ thank you for the content *continuing to watch now

[@SHANELLEBUTLER2011]

This hit different 🙃

[@Realrejeababbiee]

Deep conversations

[@TiffanyLand]

girl you finna blow up!!! #keepgoing

[@Msanguine368]

I needed to hear this so much! ✨✨✨

[@westwurld]

Yesss! I loved this video. So glad I found your channel!

[@shinebabyshine.]

this was an amazing video. im so done playing this role. new subscriber and looking forward to your female friendship series 🦋

[@AsiaJohnson678]

She’s on point ❤😂

[@Thenerdbae]

All facts!!! I learned this as a child lol.

[@CL-do5eq]

I’m kind, not nice

[@danamorrison4645]

Thank you for this amazing video but girl what’s your makeup routine??